01x20 - Top Wing/Fried Mean Tomatoes

[bunniefuu]

[ghostly vocalizing]

[rap b*at playing]

[hard rock playing]

[screaming]

[bats squeaking]

[panting]

Take cover.

-[screaming]

-[glass shattering]

Uncle Gene,

what are those things?

[gasps] Invisibulls.

Do you mean invisibles

or invisibulls?

Exactly.

[invisibull roaring]

Whoa.

I knew it.

The stench blossom is in bloom.

The stank attracts the bulls

and makes them glow.

But can we stop them?

Oh, yes, we can.

It's the Night Warts!

thr*at neutralized.

Let's take these bulls

to the dungeons.

[all cheering]

Ooh. I think I know

what I want to do

with my afterlife.

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah-yeah!

Someday we'll be sacks, Wendy.

Oh!

You meant trying out

for the Night Warts?

Sure. That's cool too, I guess.

[Commander] Attention!

I am Commander

Tammy "Poison Apple" Skerrit,

leader of the Night Warts.

And you are here

because you think

you have what it takes.

Yeah. I'm actually here

to be a sack.

I'm just here

for the free lunch.

Actually, we're all here

to support Wendy.

It's her after-lifelong dream

to be a Night Wart.

Yes, thank you.

But you didn't

all have to come.

I'll have a much better chance

of making it by myself.

Oh, don't worry.

We're just doing this

for moral support.

I mean, obviously,

I would make it if I tried,

but we're just here to help.

And for the lunch.

It's not you guys

I'm worried about.

It's just sometimes...

You know Mavis.

She can get sort of

crazy competitive.

I know, right? Let's do this!

[Commander]

Can I continue here?

Of course. We're dying to hear

about the lunch options.

[groans]

For the next seven grueling

days, you will prove your worth

in a series of elaborate

training exercises

known as Spell Week.

Our job is to keep hotel air

space clear of all threats,

and we do that by training

in our pride and joy.

[Mavis] Oh. Seriously?

A flight simulator?

I mean, no offense,

but I've been flying for,

like, my whole life.

[all laughing]

Right. Because you can

turn into a bat,

you think you can fly.

Faster than any of you.

[Commander gasps]

Race you to the human house?

If I win, I get out

of flight training.

Mavis, maybe you ought to--

Aye. Deal.

On your mark, get set, go.

Whoa! [exclaims]

[Mavis] Did that really just--

[grunts]

[Mavis groaning]

Oh.

Now it's on.

-[grunts]

-[laughs]

♪ You got to feel the burn

But keep your head♪

♪ No fear

'Cause you're already dead♪

♪ Some things

Are better left unsaid♪

♪ 'Cause now

You're flying a broom♪

♪ 'Cause now

You're flying a broom♪

♪ But they're getting it now♪

♪ Still airborne somehow♪

♪ Until Mavis blows by

With a head of steam♪

♪ She's out for number one

And not the team♪

♪ Wait, I thought

That it was Wendy's dream♪

♪ To be flying a broom♪

♪ To be flying a broom♪

♪ And now for no reason

Beach volleyball♪

♪ Mavis orchestrating

her friend's downfall♪

♪ And now Hank's butt

has gone AWOL♪

♪ This isn't flying a broom♪

♪ Why is Mavis

flying a broom?♪

♪ That was a song

about brooms!♪

[Commander] Welcome, recruits,

to the pinning of the broom.

I will now fix a pin

to all new members

of the Night Warts.

First up, Mavis Dracula.

Ooh!

[giggling]

And next... [screaming]

Why?

Because no one else

made the team.

Mavis?

Uh... There must be a mistake.

This is Wendy's

afterlife-long dream.

Don't worry, Wendy.

I've got a hotel to run,

so you can just have my spot.

There will be no taking spots.

Recruit Dracula

will be serving her term

or will be labeled a deserter

and will face

severe consequences.

How could you?

[sobbing]

Wendy, don't go.

I didn't mean to be

chosen over you.

It's just that I'm so good.

That came out so wrong.

Come back.

So, level with me.

You just smash those pins

'cause it's fun, right?

I knew it.

[sobbing]

I can't believe the Night Warts

chose me over Wendy.

Ridiculous.

You do sort of have this thing

where you have to prove

that you're the best

at everything.

[gasps] I... Well, yeah.

I mean, my dad does push me

to always strive for greatness.

And that's awesome,

but you didn't want

to join the Night Warts.

It was Wendy's thing.

We were supposed to help her,

not prove that you're better.

So, what you're saying is that

I need to show the Night Warts

that I'm the best at not being

as good as Wendy, right?

Uh, I don't think so?

Exactly. Okay, here's the plan.

Okay, guys.

You're gonna go over to...

Uh, this is where

they're keeping

the invisibulls?

How are we supposed to know

if it's the right dungeon?

Only one way to find out.

Huh.

Nobody home, I guess.

Hey, let's go get a bite to--

[screams]

Whoa! [screams]

Well, on the bright side,

the map was bang-on.

[Mavis] Listen. I know

you're mad at me.

[Wendy] Grr.

Adorbs.

But it turns out the first

ceremony was a setup.

Yeah, to see

how truly dedicated

you are to the Warts.

Really? A setup?

That's right. I'd never

steal a spot from you.

The Warts want to see

how you bounce back from that

and handle a real thr*at

in action.

Me, handle a real thr*at?

But where are the Night Warts?

Let's just say

they're, uh, preoccupied.

[Commander]

Sure was nice of Mavis

to comp us at the spa

while she takes watch.

[Night Warts member] What?

[elevator bell dings]

Okay, Wendy.

Game time.

[invisibulls roaring]

They must have let out

the whole herd.

Wow.

They must have more faith

in old Wendy than I thought.

-No!

-[yelps]

[screaming]

Run!

[screaming]

[Wendy] What are we doing?

The Warts won't let me join

if I run from a fight.

Uh, the Warts

didn't set this up.

I thought if you caught

an escaped invisibull

while I was on watch,

they'd let you take my place.

But then these guys

obviously let too many bulls

out of the dungeon.

I'm sorry, Wendy.

I don't mean to get

so competitive.

You're my best friend.

I'd never do anything

to hurt you.

Oh.

I know you wouldn't.

[sighs] Well, at least

I get to watch

the Night Warts

kick some butt

saving the hotel again.

Yeah. Um... About that...

[all snoring]

But if all the Night Warts

are out of action,

who will save us?

[gasps] Well, technically,

not all the Night Warts

are out of action.

-[gasps]

-[Mavis] That's right.

This time, we're going

to do it as a team.

[all cheer]

[all] Hey!

[Wendy] Sorry, guys.

But if Spell Week

taught me anything

it's that I need

to prove my own worth.

Wendy, wait. Stop.

[Wendy] It's Wendy time.

Aren't you going

to say anything?

No.

-I got nothing.

-Ugh.

Hey, ghost beefs! Over here.

I can't believe you could be

so irresponsible.

What is she doing?

Wendy, no!

[rumbling]

Whoo-hoo!

Wendy!

Get a whiff of this.

[all sniffing]

[roaring]

[Mavis] Go, Wendy!

She's doing it.

The invisibulls

are following her.

Now we just have

to round them up.

But we don't have a sack

anywhere near big enough

to catch them all.

You do now.

Great work, recruit.

Now we seal the deal.

Lure the bulls to that window

and bail at the last second.

-Got it?

-You bet.

[Commander]

Pull up, recruit.

Pull up, pull up!

Sack it to me, baby.

Yes!

[all cheering]

[Commander]

Welcome to the team,

Recruits Hank, Pedro and Wendy.

And for gross negligence,

insubordination,

abandoning a post and even

a little treason...

[grunting]

Mavis Dracula, not only are you

dishonorably discharged,

but we're taking back

all the warts we gave you.

What? You gave me actual warts?

Ew!

-[smashing]

-[gasps]

Sorry, Commander.

I love the Night Warts,

but I could never be on a team

that won't have

my best friend as a member.

Hey. You were right about

stomping on those pins.

That was sweet!

[bats squeaking]

-[clucks]

-[sighs]

Yes, Diane. I'm eating

a hard-spoiled egg.

I'm a monster. Deal with it.

-Mmm. [munching]

-[clucking]

Transylvania,

we have a problem.

We're losing guests

to that Weird Jester Motel.

Their occupancy

is going through the roof.

[screams]

Ooh. Daddy, your miming

is really improving.

Miming? What's that?

[Wendy grunts]

[laughs] I get it.

You got him out of the box.

[Wendy] Hi, Mavis.

Hi.

Oh, right. I hate

to mime and mosey,

but we're going to be late

for ah-ah-ah class

at the Weird Jester Motel.

Mime class?

They have a bunch of classes.

DIY Wart Implantation,

-Ghoulish as a Second Language.

-[gasps]

Ooh! Hot yoga.

Wait. Wendy,

don't go to mime class.

Stay here and come to

Table Manners with Janice.

[sneezes]

Uh...

Or Xylophone Lessons with Theo.

-[xylophone notes playing]

-[giggling]

[growls]

So sorry.

[Quasimodo] Voila.

Zis is panflakes a la Quasi,

with an extra side of flakes.

I meant Cooking with Quasimodo.

Pardon?

Disastrous. Can you imagine?

I mean... [laughing]

[clucks]

I do not see what is so funny.

I am a five-scar chef.

Why shouldn't I combine fire,

knives, and nincompoops, huh?

Because you'd scare

them all away.

You wouldn't last a day

interacting with guests.

-Oh, no?

-No.

Oh, no?

No.

I never back down

from a challenge.

"Cooking with Quasimodo"

is a go.

Yes! Boom drac-alacka!

Mavis saves the day.

You may do it.

If you succeed, it is good

for the hotel,

and I may claim all credit.

Totally not fair, but okay.

But fail,

and we'll let the dungeon rats

give you both manicures.

I shall look forward to

watching this bloodbath.

[laughing]

Joke is on you. I do not bathe.

-Ew!

-What?

Okay. Aunt Lydia has already

booked your first class

an hour from now.

She obviously thinks

we're going to fail,

so I'm bringing in Hank,

Pedro, Wendy and her dad

for a test run.

Try to go easy on them.

Ugh. Very well.

Bring in the bumbling idiots

and the talking jelly molds

who are probably

just in it for the aprons.

[all] Ooh.

-Free aprons!

-Yes.

[all laughing]

All right.

[groans]

Let's get cooking.

Now, to begin, you must

first learn to b*at an egg.

[grunting]

[gasps]

[yelping]

[panting]

Next, we must pound

the dough like this.

[shouting]

[roars]

-[belching]

-[all gasp]

[grunts]

And lastly,

a pinch of salt.

Ow!

What? His name is Salt.

Bah.

Ugh.

-Argh.

-[sobbing]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Daddy is very sensitive

to criticism.

Okay. Well,

here is a criticism,

stop being a sniveling baby!

If you cannot take the heat,

then get out

of Quasimodo's kitchen!

[sobbing]

Um... Don't you think

you were a tad mean?

We have to show

Aunt Lydia she's wrong.

So, maybe a little

less yelling?

[yelling]

A little less yelling?

Okay. I heard it that time.

[door opens]

Going well, I see?

No. It's going great.

Hey, hey!

I have never enjoyed myself

so much.

Hmm.

Very well.

I shall confirm

all of our reservations, then.

Okay. If this is

going to work, you need

a personality makeover.

We've got to make you

nice, and fast.

But being mean is how

you turn lumps of

uselessness into chefs.

-[door opens]

-I forgot to mention,

I've been starving

the rats all day. [laughs]

[gulps]

Okay. Nice it is.

Shouldn't we wait for Wendy?

She would kind of love this.

She's still putting

her dad back together.

-[sobbing]

-[sighs] Oh, Daddy.

Eh, what? [yelps]

No, no, no! It is too much.

I have changed my mind.

Quasi, if we're going

to make you nice,

Tiffany says we need to

remove your mean streak.

The mean streak has got to be

so repulsed by its surroundings

that it just sh**t right out.

Sunshine, lollipops,

freckles on a froggy.

No, no.

-[Tiffany] Quick!

His mean streak.

-[belching]

Grab it and just yank it out.

[grunting]

Don't let it get away.

[all grunting]

[growling]

-[all groan]

-[Mavis] Whoa.

[gasps]

[grunts]

What are you doing

there on the floor?

You should be sitting

on a comfy, cozy sofa

instead of resting your little

bum-bums on the hard ground.

[gasps] It worked. It worked!

Yes! Thanks, Tiffany.

[pops]

'Course, Daddy.

Anything you need.

[growling]

[grunts]

[gasps]

[snarls]

Oh, cram it, blabbermouth.

Time to trash this dump.

-[grunts]

-[shatters]

Genial greetings

and soothing salutations.

I am Chef Quasimodo.

May I offer you a free apron?

I can't believe

how well this worked.

Is it too soon

to make cash register noises?

'Cause cha-ching.

For you? It's always

too soon. [laughing]

Am I right, Wendy? Wendy?

Wendy?

Huh. I guess

she's still with her dad.

[snarling]

[laughing]

An apron for you,

and one for you,

and one for you, too.

You know, I think

this might just be

my most successful idea ever.

Aunt Lydia is going

to rue the day

she dared challenge me.

Rue it!

[gasps]

Uh... Mavis?

Ah-bup-bup-bup.

Not now, Hank.

I'm imagining how much ruing

Lydia is going to do.

-I'm guessing zero when

she finds out you k*lled Quasi.

-Huh?

Wasn't me.

Ah-ah-ah-ah.

This is not good.

His insides are trying

to k*ll him with kindness.

But you can help him, right?

Nope. You did this with magic.

What do you want me to do?

Wave a wand and say,

"Ka-dabba-ka-blatha-ka-boo"

and cure him?

Uh... So we have

to find Tiffany?

And his missing mean streak.

He'll need an infusion, stat.

'Kay. We need to split up

to find them.

Be quick. Quasi's afterlife

depends on it.

[Mavis gasps] Holy rabies.

What happened here?

-[Wendy growls]

-[gasps]

Wendy has the mean streak?

I did not see that coming.

[panting] I found Tiffany.

[panting]

I got the mean streak.

I brought a hacky sack.

[grunting]

Let go of me!

Who do you ugly monsters

think you are?

[snarling]

Aw! She's so cute and squishy.

-Easy, Wendy.

We're here to help.

-[screams]

Tiffany, can you save them?

-What am I, a doctor?

-Ha!

Kidding. Wand.

Ka-dabba-ka-blatha-ka-boo.

Ah! So I was right.

[grunting]

[groaning]

[yelps]

Get it off. Get it off!

[grunting]

What are you all staring at?

Paint a portrait.

It'll last longer.

Ooh, I'd love

a portrait. [grunts]

Yes! We did it.

Now, we just need to reset

Quasimodo again

before Aunt Lydia

shows up and--

What is going on in here?

-Uh...

-Well, look who is back.

The apron-loving phony chefs.

I wouldn't serve your food

to my worst enemy,

which is you!

-[all gasp]

-[growling]

-Oh, no.

-Bad riddance.

[sighs] I suppose

I shouldn't be surprised.

Cooking classes with Quasimodo

are hereby canceled.

Manicures for two,

however, begin in one hour.

[laughing]

[Mavis gulps]

[Mavis laughing]

[both laughing]

It tickles.

They love my cooking.

Yeah. It's too bad the class

didn't work out,

but then again, if this is

the punishment, I should

mess up more often.

Thanks, Aunt Lydia.

[growling]

[clucking]

[Mavis] You know what?

We should offer

manicure classes

with Esmeralda.

-I love it.

-[rats squeaking]

[music playing]

[vocalizing]