03x01 - Everything is Crabs

[bunniefuu]

-[snoring]
-[crickets chirping]

[squeals]

-[grunts]
-[squeals]

[Kipo] After we stopped
Scarlemagne's reign of terror,

we had a new task.

Stop Dr. Emilia.

[crabs hissing]

[Kipo]
Unfortunately, we had to find her first.

[grunts]

[Kipo]
And that wasn't so easy.

We looked everywhere... for months.

[Mega Jaguar growls]

[Kipo] Somehow,
she vanished with a thousand humans.

We needed help to broaden our search.

[growls]

[Kipo]
Luckily, we had our best team on the job.

Puck and his TheaOtters
went all over Las Vistas

telling mutes of Dr. Emilia's evil plan.

[Puck imitating Dr. Emilia]
And now, with this science-y science book

I stole from Kipo, I have the key
to reversing all of mute-kind with...

The Cure!

[rock music playing]

♪ Run! Run! Run from the cure! ♪

[clapping]

[hisses]

[whacks]

Now, normally a cure is good,

but not in this case!

The evil doctor wants
to send us back to the dark ages

when Mutes couldn't speak, couldn't sing,
couldn't play guitar!

[scoffs] Oh, no!
[chuckles] I just shed myself!

[chuckles]

To whom. Will. We. Turn?

[all] Who? Who? Who? Who?

[Jamack]
♪ Whoo... Whoo... ♪

♪ Whoo... Whoo... ♪

[mic feedback]

♪ She's a Mega Jaguar ♪

♪ Her name is Kipo ♪

♪ And she's human, too! ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ She saved us once
She'll do it twice ♪

♪ Yes ♪

♪ She's into science
She has a plan ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ To set her sights ♪

♪ Against Emilia in defiance-uh! ♪

♪ We ask you all to join ♪

♪ Her Human Mute Ultimate Friendship ♪

♪ Alliance! ♪
[dramatic gasp]

The first meeting is tonight.

The snack sign-up sheet is here.

I'm bringing cups.

Ultimate Friendship Alliance?

With cats? And wolves?
And you gophers? [scoffs]

[chuckles]
Look, I'm gonna be real honest...

you guys were about to be
dinner and a show.

And now that the show's over...

So, you're not gonna sign up?

Told you we should've added pyrotechnics.

[crash]

HummingBombers!

-[crash]
-[breaking glass]

[instrumental theme music playing]

[crashing footsteps]

[growls]

Maybe we'll find Emilia tomorrow.

[grunts]

[gentle grunts]

Sweet dreams, Mom. See you in the morning

[grunts]

[sighs]

[snoring]

[chopping]

Axes up, Timbercats!

The Mega Jaguar is back from yonder.

Whoa! Uh, thanks! [chuckles]

I don't think I'm ever going
to get used to this. [nervous chuckles]

[squeals, panting]

-Anything?
-Nothin'.

We've checked every village,
field, building,

house, alley, cave, scary dark hole,
welcoming dark hole--

No humans.

But I did find this sweet bag.

It's like Emilia turned invisible.

[gasps] She could be anywhere.

Sneaking around here with the cure.
She could be here right now!

Get away from me, you science monster!

-[chomps]
-Ow! Ow! Ow!

Stop chewin' on me!

OK, Kipo. I've made enough dumplings
to feed a small army.

Side note, you're doing the dishes.

[scoffs] Oh! I hope it's enough
for all the new HMUFA members

Jamack will bring back!

We'll share a warm meal
and then stop the invisible monster

that wants to destroy everyone.

HMUFA!

HMUFA!

Uh, what's a "Huh-moo-fa?”

Remember? The Human Mute
Ultimate Friendship Alliance.

Oh, right.

I thought we all agreed
that idea was crazy.

No, you said,
"This is crazy. We all agree.”

Then you walked out.

And then we scheduled
our first HMUFA meeting!

It's tonight.

Ooh, yeah, Kipo.

Tonight's our weekly Yarn Watching.

We swing a ball back and forth
and watch it as it slowly unravels

into an irresistible pile on the ground.

[chuckles] I never miss it.

Better go check on those dumplings.
Hasta la pasta.

Hey, Kipo, is HMUFA mandatory?

Because something's come up for me.

-[chuckles] It's the yarn thing.
-[chomps]

Ow, Mandu! Again?! Quit it!

[Jamack sighs]

Hey! Did you get the tons of recruits?

Did they fall behind?

-[sighs]
-Also, what happened to you?

-[sighs]
-There we were,

moments from being gobbled up
by those sinister, slithering serpents,

when we were rudely heckled
by HummingBombers.

I'm sorry? Heckled?

They dropped a nectar b*mb on us
and kidnapped Camille!

Actually, that was good timing.

Wait, back up!
The HummingBombers took Camille?

Wh-- Why would they do that?

It's just the way things are.

Hey! You're tying it wrong.

Mutes hate mutes from rival groups.
Always have.

Only thing they hate more is our play.

Philistines.

Oh, uh, Kipo, we have some thoughts
about our next performance.

There's not gonna be a next performance.

-Ooh, an unraveling!
-[gasps]

Ah, high drama in its purest form.

Let us partake.

So, if this meeting isn't happening,

I have a date with Troy.

You made back-up plans?

No! I just promised Troy
I'd watch his close-up magic

if the meeting maybe didn't happen.

Well, I didn't make any plans.

-Thank you, Wolf.
-[Benson whistling]

Now, if we can just
convince the HummingBombers

that Dr. Emilia is a thr*at,

they'll stop picking fights
with the snakes.

[sighs] And just like that,
my date night-- whoosh-- disappeared.

[Timbercat]
Here it comes! Ohh, look at it! [laughing]

Ohh, look at it, guys. Oh, there it is.
Oh! Look!

Aww, it was almost at the end!

What happened at the end?

[explosions]

[growling]

[growls]

[grunts]

Hey.

Cool trick. I've got one, too.

-[expl*si*n]
-Ah!

[gasps] Wow!

[sniffs] What're you doing
in our airspace, groundies?

We already told you we're not joining
your stupid Friendship Alliance.

OK. Well, it's not stupid, it's ultimate,
and--

.-[expl*si*n]
-Whoa!

Just let us b*mb our pain away in peace.

Oh. Sorry to interrupt
your sad b*mb party,

but we were looking for our friend,
Camille.

She's about yay long. Scaly.

She's a snake. Should've led with snake.

Anyway.
You didn't, perchance, kidnap her?

[sobbing] Not tonight.

We've been busy crying
and chucking bombs into the forest.

[wailing]

Are you guys OK?

So, someone else took Camille?

Who would do that?

[sobbing] The Newton Wolves!

Guess it wasn't enough
that they ate Boom-Boom!

[crying] This one's for you, Boom-Boom!

[happy gasp] This one's also for you,
Boom-Boom

Dave, you don't even know her.

But I got to throw a b*mb.
Don't take this away from me.

Why would the Newton Wolves eat Boom-Boom?

[sniffs] It's the way things are.

Wolves are vicious.
They did it for no reason!

Yeah! Right after
we pooped on their new telescope.

The next morning, boom!
Boom-Boom was gone.

Wait, you didn't actually
see them take her?

Never saw ‘em come, never saw ‘em leave.

Life is but a walking shadow. [sobs]

Two mutes are missing
under mysterious circumstances.

They're blaming the wolves,
but I think somebody else

is behind all these disappearances.

-Emilia.
-Emilia.

Emilia!

[Newton Wolves snarling]

Hey-hey, we're just here to talk.

You may have saved our lives at Aurum,
but we didn't forget about the telescope,

or the fact that you're part, ugh, cat.

[yells]

[grunting]

You're lucky Billions is working.

Leave me to my research!

[sighs] He's trying to prove

that dark matter exists
inside those moon rocks.

Science is weird.

What do you want, Kipo?

We're looking for Boom-Boom,

and the HummingBombers
think you ate her.

Ha! First, they soil our new telescope,

and now they're spreading lies!

[Bad Billions] We are predators!
But lately, I feel like prey!

So, you didn't eat Boom-Boom?

How ‘bout Camille? She's a snake.

Yes! Led with snake.

No. The last person we ate was--
Was it Jeff?

Yeah. Jeff. Jeff the squirrel.
But Jeff was three days ago.

And now I'm feeling peckish.

[snarling]

So. A snake is missing.
A bird is also missing.

Does a wolf happen to be missing?

No.

Dang it! I mean, uh, good!

[grunting]
Someone did steal our centrifuge.

Oh. My. Gosh!

What. Is. That?

A machine that creates high
centrifugal forces to separate particles!

Which you would need
if you're perfecting a genetic cure!

I know who stole your centrifuge!

[scoffs] So do we. The Timbercats.

Wait, what?
The Timbercats would never!

[Bad Billions]
It is an established scientific fact

that cats like spinny things!

No. I'm sure it was Dr. Emilia!

Dr. Emilia? Do you mean
that fake villain from that weird play?

[Bad Billions] I love that play.

That frog's voice made me feel things!

Oh, she's real.

Yeah, she's a nightmare.

And if you come back to Timbercat Village,

I can prove that the cats
didn't steal from you.

If I'm wrong,
I help you get your stuff back.

If I'm right, you join HMUFA
and we get your stuff back together.

[snoring]

[Kipo]
Welcome! I've invited you all here

to the first ever meeting of HMUFA!

[inhales]

The Human Mute Ultimate
Friendship Alliance!

[hisses]

OK, first up, the secret handshake!

It starts as a simple high-five,
but then--

You'd better just get right to it, Kipo.

Yeah, where's Camille?

Do you know how hard it is to play
without a lead guitarist?

Where's Boom-Boom?

Hand over our centrifuge!

Who shed in my chair?

[indistinct yelling]

[Mega Jaguar roars]

[Mega Jaguar's head thuds]

[roars]

Everything's fine.

So, obviously,
we need to clear a few things up.

You're all blaming each other,
but you're all innocent.

The HummingBombers didn't take Camille,

the Newton Wolves didn't eat Boom-Boom,

and the Timbercats
didn't steal the centrifuge.

Uh, Kipo?

Not now. I'm kinda
in the middle of something.

-So, you see--
-We absolutely took it.

I'm sorry, what's that?

We took it. The center fudge.

[stammers] What-- Why?

e used it in the unraveling.

And the re-raveling.

And then, we just watched it spin.

[giggles] It was so spinny.

I knew it! Cats like spinny things!

Billions,
I'm about to make like the Big Bang,

expand into a high-temperature state,
and explode!

Hey! Exploding is our thing!

First you steal Boom-Boom
and now you steal our thing?

Just stop stealing, period!

What is wrong with you all?

Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?

-I will end you!
-[indistinct yelling]

Uh-oh.

This is about to get ugly.

So, why did you feathered freaks
b*mb our club?

Oh, we didn't. But if we did,
we'd be doing the world a favor!

[hisses]

HummingBombers, in formation!

By Einstein's slide-rule,
we shall mop the floor with you.

Wait! This is what Dr. Emilia wants!

If you have to fight someone, fight her!

O-- Or at least let me
show you the handshake!

Sorry, Kipo. Your words are good,

but not as good as settling things
with tooth and claw.

All right!
You're in our house, so here's the rules!

There are no rules! Ah!

-[hissing]
-[barking]

[growling]

[chomping, growling]

Why are you looking at me like that,
Mandu?

-[squeals]
-Why?

[distant fighting]

I just made everything worse, didn't I?

Kipo, don't be so hard on yourself.

They wanted to fight each other anyway.

You just put them all in the same room.

I just had to pull Troy's sleight-of-hand
arm out of a snake's mouth!

It might be time to consider
that HMUFA won't work.

I think the Alliance was a beautiful dream
that the world just isn't ready for.

No. We need help to stop Dr. Emilia.

Kipo's right. It's been months,
and we're no closer to finding her.

She'll have the cure any day now,
and then she'll be unstoppable.

Ohh, I hate that woman!

We stopped Scarlemagne by ourselves.

We can find a way to stop Emilia, too.

We will protect them from the cure--

Ah!

[crash]

Even if we can't protect them
from themselves.

[yawns] So, is it OK
if I get some sleep now?

Yeah. It's been a long night.
You guys get some rest.

I should try to break that up.

See you all bright and early.

HMUF-- ee,

well, I guess just "yay us."

Why don't ya come back home?

Something tells me you're
not going to be able to fix that tonight.

Question is, can I fix it at all?

[distant fighting]

[hisses]

[fighting continues]

Hmm. Sounds like it
isn't going too well down there.

Oh, no.

The secret handshake didn't fix
two hundred years of malcontent?

Shocking. [laughs]

Go ahead and laugh.

But if Dr. Emilia succeeds,
you disappear, too.

Fine. Here's some advice.

Didn't ask for any.

Too bad.

I'm stuck here with my thoughts,
and you're the only one who visits.

If you need the Mutes
to help you with Emilia,

make them fear you.

No!

It's the only way
to get them to work together.

They're savage brutes.
They either dominate or cower.

The Mega Jaguar could get them in line.

I don't want to do that.
I want them to want to help me.

I-- I'm not you.

Well, good luck protecting them
with high-fives and a smile, then.

Wait. You didn't give me my food.

Put it in the slot, please.

[hinges squeak]

Ugh! Pancakes again?

Are you serious?

Don't you people eat anything else?

[mute kids laughing]

[gasps]

[Benson] Ugh, Kipo.

I was in the middle of a great dream.

Troy sawed a lady in half

and now I'll never know
if he magic'd her back together.

I hate cliffhangers.

Guys, look!

Scrumples is It! [laughing]

So, it starts with a high-five--
heeyaw--

But then you bump elbows--
[grunts]

and then you turn around
and bump tails-- Yaw!

Eee! Secret handshake!

Oh, I'm seeing it.

[Kipo] Their parents
are all sworn enemies, but they're not!

Can't believe I'm about to say this...

maybe we should give HMUFA another sh*t.

You know what this means?

Maybe that is how things are,

but this is how things could be.

[mute kids laughing]

Wow. I heard that here and here.

I think HMUFA is bigger than
just stopping Dr. Emilia.

It's a forever thing.

[gasps]

It's HMUF-FA!

Wait. That sounds weird.

Let's make the second F silent.

But it stands for forever.

So, it's the high-five,
and then under the leg,

and-- what was after that?

Um, back flip.

OK. [grunts]

[laughing]

-[bang]
-Whoa!

What was that?

It was probably just Kipo's mom
getting up to stretch her legs.

I wouldn't worry about it--

[smashes]

[screeches]

Mega Crab!
Where'd that thing come from?

Someone do something!

Kipo, that's your job.

Right-right-right-right-right.

[electronic music playing]

[roars]

[screeches]

[roars]

[roars]

[roars]

[roars]

[growling]

[shrieking]

[thuds]

I've never seen anything like this before.

Yeah, good luck with that.

We'll leave you to deal with your crabs.

[HummingBombers laughing]

Cowards! What about you?
You're not gonna run off?

I don't run away from a fight.

Yumyan protects you all!

How are we gonna fight a Mega Crab?

-[bang]
-[gasps]

Wait! We can use this.

[gasps] How dare you!

[grunts, groans]

Fine. Yumyan loans you yarn.

[roars]

[snarls]

Kipo!

Yah! Yah!

Yah!

[chopping]

Ah!

[grunts]

Thanks, Snake.

Don't mention it, Cat.

Hmm?

-[crash]
-[dishes break]

[sighs]

[babbling]

[growling]

[roars]

[roars, growls]

[snaps]

Kipo! Look this way!

Kipo! Kipo! Over here!

-[Timbercats] Kipo! Kipo! Over here!
-[Umlaut snakes] Look this way! Kipo!

[shrieking]

[grunting]

[chomps]

[roars]

[shrieking]

[crunches, squelches]

-Oh. Gross!
-Oh, sick. That was gross.

[mutes cheering]

Yeah!

[mute kids giggling]

Everyone, I have an announcement!

The HMUFA, which we all agree isn't crazy,
has new members.

You'll never believe who.

Duh, it's us!

[mutes cheer]

First order of business,
we'll help you find Camille.

Until then, Yumyan babysits you all!

[laughing]

[chewing, snuffling]

[babbling]

[gasps] Look!
Mandu's tusks are coming in.

She's teething!

So, that's why she's been cranky all day.

I was really convinced
it was all Dave's fault, somehow.

This is delicious.

But what was all this seafood
doing in the forest?

Yeah, I saw another crab
by the highway earlier

when we were looking for-- [gasps]

Were you gonna say something else?

What's the only thing that could drive
Mega crabs from their homes?

A sonic emitter.

That's why we haven't been able
to find Dr. Emilia on the surface.

Because she's at sea!

[panting]

Puck, what is it?

A most dastardly development, I'm afraid.

It's Jamack!

During the scuffle
with the mega crustacea, he went missing.

We found this on the forest floor.

I fear the worst.

Kipo. What if she's
not just kidnapping Mutes?

What if she's gathering test subjects?

What if she's close to finding the cure?

And she has our friends!

[hissing]

[buzzing, bonking]

[rap music playing]