01x14 - Larry Spoke

[bunniefuu]

[ rock theme playing ]

Ah, I haven't heard
that "ping, ping, ping"

since your daddy
was alive.

Yeah, some kids get
a trust fund

and I get a greasy spoon
with a hole in it.

Hey, Boyd.
Haven't seen you in a while.

But you can
see me now, right?

Yeah.

Good.

Hello, Jack.

Jake.
My name is Jake.

We go through this
every time.

Oh, that's a relief.

I thought it was the same time
over and over again.

The roof's leaking.

Lucky for you,
this can's here.

No, Boyd, I...

Yeah, lucky.
Let me ask you something:

You don't know
a good doctor, do you?

'Cause it's been a while since
I've had a checkup.

You know, as a matter of fact,
Boyd, I do know someone.

I'm not here. I'm not here.

Yo, you just see a guy
come in here?

Tall, scrawny-looking guy?

Son of a bitch flipped me off!

I can honestly say
I haven't seen anybody

that matches
that description.

All clear, Becker.
You can come out now.

So I'm in traffic, right?

That moron is sitting in a car
in front of me

with his finger
jammed up his nose.

Yeah, the light turns green,
he doesn't move.

Like it's too
complicated for him

to work his foot
and his finger

at the same time.

Coffee to go,
please.

Hey-- Hey, Reg,
did he hide in the men's room

or the little girls' room?

Oh, hell, there's that
damn meter maid.

Hey, Grandma, get the hell
away from my car!

Hey, why aren't you
out stealing ketchup packets

like normal old women?

Boy, that guy
should see a doctor.

He is a doctor.

Uh, actually, he's the doctor
I was gonna recommend.

Oh, he seems like
a nice guy.

[ rock theme playing ]

[ rock theme playing ]

Okay, Margaret, before you
go all drill sergeant on me,

it's not my fault
I'm late.

The rotating clothes thingy
at my dry cleaner's

was stuck
on high speed.

I kept yelling,
"Here it comes! Here it comes!"

And the guy kept yelling,
"Where? Where?"

And I kept yelling,
"There! There!"

And he kept yelling, "I don't"--
Linda,

Linda,

I get it.
Just put your things away

and finish filing
these charts for me.

Okay.

Mr. Crossman?

Hey, this isn't mine.

This is fabulous.

They must have
given this to me by mistake.

You're just gonna have to wait
until after work to return it.

Yeah, yeah, return it.

This way, Mr. Crossman.

[ grunts ]

[ gasps ]

Ooh...

[ laughs ]

[ sighs ]

I think I just had
a clothes-gasm.

Mr. Crossman,
you're here for a physical.

No, I just made that up
so I could see you.

Oh, all right.
What's going on?

Well, I work
in a shoe store

and I sort of
been having trouble, uh,

you know, concentrating.

It's-- It's exhausting.

And by the time I get home,

I'm almost too tired to paint.

Oh, you're an artist.

No, I paint my apartment.

A lot.

Last week I painted it
Navajo White.

The week before that,
Antique White.

Before that, Eggshell White.
Next week--

White?
Who knows.

Well, actually,
Larry does.

He's the one who
keeps changing his mind.

Who's Larry?

God.

Excuse me?

Larry is God's first name.

Yeah, Mr. Crossman, when--
When you're painting, you're--

You keep the windows
open, right?

Oh, sure.

Larry's kind of
a stickler about that.

Uh-huh.

What--
What about dr*gs?

Are you on any narcotics
or hallucinogens?

No, but if you think
it would help...

I see. Uh...

Let me-- Let me ask you, uh,
something else, here.

Have-- Have you ever
seen a psychiatrist?

Well, it's hard to say.

It's not like
they walk around

with big signs
over their heads.

No, no, they don't.
That's, uh--

That's true.

[ knocking on door ]

I happen
to know one

and, uh, I'm gonna
give him a call.

I think it'd be very helpful
for you to talk to him.

Well, I'll do what I can,
but frankly,

I have problems of my own.

[ knocking on door ]

Yeah, yeah.

The hospital called.

Milton Fowler went into
cardiac arrest.

It-- It--
It doesn't look good.

Damn.

All right, I'll, uh--

I'll get over there
as soon as I can.

I'm sorry, John.
I know how fond you are of him.

[ stammering ]:
Yeah, thank you.
And do me a favor:

Why don't you go ahead
and call his daughter?

Oh, no. I called her
the last time.

[ sighs ]

All right.

Sorry about that, uh,

patient of mine's
not doing too well.

It's a part of this job

I haven't
gotten used to yet.

Well, as you know,
Larry works in mysterious ways.

[ rock theme playing ]

[ machinery beeping ]

Dr. Becker?

Milton? You're awake.

Good for you.

Did you learn that
in medical school?

What makes you think
I went to medical school?

Dad?

Ah, there she is.
There-- There's my girl.

You're all right.
That's great.

Dr. Becker led me to believe
that, uh--

What?

That I was dead?

Uh, now,
don't talk that way.

So then you're okay.

Okay? Look at me.

I'm on everything but skates.

Milton,
you're doing fine.

I'll come back in a little while
to check on you.

I'll wait here.

BECKER:
Yeah.

Dr. Becker,
what is going on?

My father is okay.

Look, Mrs. Arras,

we've been down
this road before.

I know,
and every time you call

you make it sound like
it's the end.

If you don't
want me to call--

That's not what I said.

But frankly,
I'm getting tired of this.

I have a business to run.

It is very difficult for me
to drop everything,

get on a plane
and come down here

for no reason.

No reason?
Your father's no reason?

That's not what I meant
and you know it.

Look, your father's had
two myocardial infarctions

in a series
of cardiac arrests.

His heart's very weak.

I know that.

I am just trying
to get a realistic timetable.

And if you
can't give that to me,

maybe I should find
a doctor who can.

You want a second opinion,
you be my guest.

If you want me
to play God

and pick a day
for your father to die

that won't inconvenience
your busy schedule,

well, I'm sorry,
I can't help you.

[ rock theme playing ]

Hey, Jake,
how's it going?

Okay.

Reg,
what's going on?

Having the roof fixed.
Have a seat in a booth.

I wanted to sit
at the counter.

What, are you 6 years old?
Just sit down.

I'm trying
to improve the place.

Yeah, when you
get around to the food,

let me know.
[ laughs ]

Uh, wild guess:
You're having a bad day?

Ah, some patient of mine.
I thought he was in a coma.

Turns out he's okay.

Jeez.

Life's a bitch
and then you live.

Yeah.

So did you see,
uh, Boyd Crossman?

Yeah, saw him this morning.
Interesting guy.

He's a freak.

Did he tell you
about Larry?

You know about that?

Yeah, he keeps going on
about how God said this

and Larry said that,

and I wish he'd just
shut up about it.

What's your problem?
Boyd's harmless.

Hey, uh, I-- I just
get tired of hearing it.

Look,
I used to think God

was this all-powerful,
benevolent being.

Then he took
my sight away.

And frankly,
that ticked me off.

I mean, with all the--
With all the drug dealers,

murderers and politicians
in the world,

why'd he have to
come after me?

Wow, Jake.

You're always making jokes
about your blindness.

This is the first time
since I've known you

you've ever
complained about it.

Yeah, Jake.
Bitch, bitch, bitch.

[ rock theme playing ]

You know, Linda,

that jacket
looks very familiar.

[ gasps ]

Oh, I guess you liked
the one from the cleaners

so much you went out
and bought one just like it.

Uh, okay,
then that's what I did.

Mm-hm.

Boyd, I didn't know
you were coming in today.

Oh, I just stopped by
to tell you

that the new medication
is really working.

I can finally
concentrate at work.

You know,
loafers, sandals, high-tops,

pumps, topsiders,
work boots, steel-toe--

Right, right, right. All--
All the different shoes.

That-- That's good.
That's good.

And I haven't
heard from Larry either.

That's even better.

Well, I hope you don't mind
me just dropping by like this,

but I was feeling
really pumped.

John,
hospital called.

Milton Fowler had
another cardiac arrest.

They resuscitated him

but it's touch-and-go.
[ sighs ]

Poor guy.

All right, I'll, uh,
call his daughter.

No, I already did.

She said she'd come down
as soon as she can,

but today's really not
a good day for her.

I'm guessing it's no picnic
for her father either.

[ chuckles ]

[ rock theme playing ]

[ rock theme playing ]

Dr. Becker?

You've been here
all night.

Why don't you
go home?

We'll call you
if there's any change.

Okay. Thank you.

Milton?

[ grunts ]

Well, seeing you here,
I know I can't be in heaven.

What's going on?

You've had another heart att*ck

but you're okay.
Oh.

I-- I-- I don't know
how you keep doing it.

I bought the extended warranty
on my Buick

and I intend to use it.

Is my daughter
here yet?

Did Ginny come?

Actually, Milton,
I called her and she--

Yeah, yeah, she sat here
with you all night.

I just now told her to
go home and get some rest.

Oh, that-- That's nice.

Yeah.

Some kid I got, huh?

Yeah, some kid you got.

[ rock theme playing ]

[ knocking on door ]

[ Becker sighs ]

Coming. I'm coming.

Oh, boy.

Hello, Dr. Becker.

B-Boyd,
it's 3 in the morning.

I know,
I'm surprised you're up.

Larry figured
you'd be asleep.

Larry. All right,
you better come in.

Okay, but I can't stay long.
It's 3:00 in the morning.

You ever think about
painting this place?

I don't know, maybe white?

Just a sh*t in the dark here,

but did you stop
taking your pills?

Yeah, I stopped taking them
a few days ago.

Can I have a glass of water?

Well, Boyd, you've gotta
get back on the medication.

You have an illness.

It's a
chemical imbalance.

Yeah, that's
what I thought.

But Larry had
a good point about that.

Which was...?

He said you were wrong.

Tap water?
You don't have bottled?

No, I don't have bottled.

Not even for company?

I'm sorry.
Look, I don't understand this.

You-- You--
You said you were pumped.

Why-- Why'd you
go off the medicine?

Well, you see, uh,

I really don't
have that many friends

other than you
and the lady at the diner

and that blind guy,
Jack.

Jake.

Potato, potato.

It's just that when
I was on the medication, I--

I kind of missed Larry.

The psychiatrist I sent you to,

d-does he know about this?

Not yet.
I didn't wanna

wake him up
because it's almost--

Yeah, I know.

It's 3 in the morning.

Yeah, right.
Well, good night.

Yeah, uh, promise me
you'll come see me

in the office tomorrow.

Well, I'll try.

Yeah, try hard.
Now go home.

Get-- Get-- Get some sleep.

I'm on my way.

I just have to stop
and rent Home Alone 3 again.

I don't know why, but
Larry just loves that movie.

[ rock theme playing ]

Oh, nice jacket, Linda.

Thank you.

Unusual color.

I know.

Ooh, and buttery soft too.

Look, I know you're trying
to make me feel guilty

but it's not gonna work.

This jacket is rightfully mine.

Oh, I'm dying to hear
how you figured this one out.

This jacket is payback.

It's every sock
I ever lost in the dryer,

every quarter that ever

fell through
a hole in my pocket.

It's the pair of
black stiletto heels

that I lost
on the Brooklyn Bridge.

Fun night, long story.

The point is,
this jacket is mine.

Well, as long as you're not
feeling guilty about it.

Well, I'm not.

And I won't be burning
in a fiery hell, either.

I guess that depends on
what you did on that bridge.

Is Dr. Becker in?

Well, I'll-- I'll just--

I'm Virginia Arras.
I'd like to speak with him.

Oh, doctor,
do you have a moment?

All right.

Um, I'll be in back.

I was just at the hospital.

My father thanked me

for flying down from Boston
to sit with him.

You lied for me,
didn't you?

I didn't do it for you.
I did it for him.

I know that
and I appreciate it.

Well, that's
all I wanted to say.

I won't take any more
of your time.

Look, I--
I know this is not easy.

Uh, no, it's not.

I-I wish I could
tell you differently,

but your father doesn't have
a lot of time left.

Dr. Becker, there's not
a day that goes by

that I'm not
aware of that.

But I'll be honest with you,
I don't like coming here.

I-- I know
you think it's cold,

but it's not because
I'm busy at work.

It's because

I love my father.

He's the one who
read...

[ laughs ]

...Green Eggs and Ham
to me.

He held the back of my bike
when I was learning to ride.

And now
I go to the hospital

and all I see is an--

[ crying ]

An old man.

A stranger.

It-- It's just very
difficult, that's all.

You know, if you loved
the man who held your bike,

you owe the old man
in that bed.

Yes, I know that.

And I know that if he
had d*ed the other night

thinking that I didn't
even have the time

to come and see him,

I would never have
forgiven myself.

Thank you for that.

[ rock theme playing ]

[ rock theme playing ]

Oh, Jake, they did
such a great job

patching the ceiling.

I wish
you could see it.

Yeah, if I got my sight back,

that would be the first thing
I'd wanna see.

Got it.

Perfect.

[ laughs ]:
Hi, Margaret, Linda.

Can I help you?

Yes, I will have

a half-caff, double-tall non-fat
latte with cream, please.

We just have coffee,
decaf or regular.

Oh, then nothing for me.

Hi, Jake.
Hey.

Margaret?
Oh, no, thanks.

I'm just waiting out
the rain.

Why do I even
have a cash register?

Oh, jeez. What--
What are you two doing here?

Oh, relax,
we're not staying.

We were on our way
to the train

and it started
to pour.

Oh, good.

No offence, but the only
reason I come here

is no one else does.

Thank you.

If you guys start coming,
I might find a new place.

Thank you.

What can I get you,
Becker?

Nothing, thank you.
I just came in

to get out of the rain.

Yeah, this place is
a gold mine.

Boyd, where--
Where you been?

I thought you were gonna
come by the office.

I just did.
No one was there.

Oh, hey.
Hey, wait a minute.

Are-- Are you
looking for us?

Oh, yeah.
I came to say good-bye.

[ stammers ]:
Wait, Boyd, hold on a second.
Where are you going?

California.

Larry told me to
quit my job, rent a car

and go visit my brother.

And he told me not to get
the collision insurance.

He said it was a rip-off.

So thanks for your help.

I'll miss you all.
Especially you, Jack.

Hey, Boyd, wait--
Wait a second.

Listen, it's not a really good
time to take a trip.

You really need to be
under a doctor's care.

No, Larry insists
and you know how he can get.

He thinks everything he says
is carved in stone.

Wow,
God talks to him?

How cool is that?

Linda, Boyd only
thinks he hears God

because the dopamine-receptor
system of his brain

is malfunctioning.

Well, maybe when God
wants to talk to someone,

that's how he does it.
Yeah, Margaret, don't start.

Look, G--
God is a concept of man.

You know, Becker,
some of us believe

that man
is a concept of God.

Here we go.
Well, she's right, John.

I thought you didn't
even like God.

Doesn't mean
I don't believe in him.

Having conversations with God
doesn't make you crazy.

I mean, yesterday
I went to church

and I talked to God
and Jesus and my father.

Wonderful, The Three Amigos.

Look, I don't have
anything against religion.

Since when?

Yeah, you're right.
I do.

Wanna know what's wrong
with religion?

ALL:
No, no.

R-Religion is--

Religion is
supposed to be about

people being nice
to each other.

But frankly,
I don't see a lot of that.

You know, what I do see is
I see a lot of people

using the Good Book to--

To say that they're
morally superior.

I see people
building TV stations

to bilk grandma
out of her pension checks,

all in the name of God.

You know, how about all those
God-fearing people

who are k*lling
other God-fearing people

because they don't
fear God the same way?

I'm glad to see he's
like this in here too.

Becker, you hate everything.
That's hardly news.

But you must believe
in something.

Well, you're damn right I do.

I-I believe in science,

that's what I believe in.

You know, you open up
any medical book and-- And--

And read about how
the fibers of the iris

contract and expand
in response to light.

Or how embryonic cells,
you know,

divide and re-divide
until they form a human being.

You know, what about the--
The human heart?

I got a patient
in the hospital,

a 78-year-old who
by all rights should be dead.

And that amazing machine
keeps on pumping.

That's what I believe in.

Yeah, well, I think Boyd
would disagree with you.

Yeah, he'd probably tell you
that Larry's responsible

for all that
science.

You know...
[ sighs ]

You-- You guys can believe
anything you want.

But as far as I'm concerned,
there is no Larry.

Oh!

I gotta get this jacket
back to the dry cleaner's.

She'll listen to me
next time.

Uh, what do you
have to say now, Becker?

If that was really God,
would he have missed me?

[ thunder booms ]

[ rock theme playing ]

[ rock theme playing ]