02x02 - Collect 'Em All/Pinkasso

[bunniefuu]

Gee, brain,

What do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing
we do every night,
pinky,

Try to take over the world.

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ One is a genius

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're
laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

♪ Before each night
is done ♪

♪ Their plan
will be unfurled ♪

♪ By the dawning
of the sun ♪

♪ They'll take over
the world ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Their twilight campaign

♪ Is easy to explain

♪ To prove
their mousy worth ♪

♪ They'll overthrow
the earth ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Narf!

Brain: 1455.
In a small town in germany,

An inventor named gutenberg
ushers in a new era.

Ha ha!
At last!

I have printed a bible
with movable type.

Brain: with that,

Gutenberg has fulfilled
a lifelong ambition.

Now that I finally
have something to sell,

I can be a door-to-door
salesman.

Brain:
and, unbeknownst to him,

He has also
paved the way

For a mouse of superior
intelligence

What did you say,
brain?

I'm delivering
the exposition,
pinky.

You wouldn't
understand.

Poit!

Um, what's that
big contraption

In the middle
of the room, brain?

It's gutenberg's greatest
achievement, pinky.

Ah!

You mean
police academy 4?

No, pinky,

But your retention
of low brow trivia
is impressive.

That is a printing press.

It is the reason
we came here, pinky.

Poit!

I thought we came
for the bracing
alpine scenery

And the friendly
sausages.

That is only
a side benefit,
my friend.

Our little sojourn
has the more
serious purpose

Of exploiting
a revolutionary
new invention

Which will
foment revolution

And topple
the age-old
system of monarchy.

The cuckoo clock, brain?

Oof!

The printing press,
pinky.

Try to pay attention.

Do you realize the enormous
potential of printed matter

To excite the masses?

You mean newspapers,
religious tracts,

The victoria's secret
catalog?

Hmm.

No.

Trading cards.

I will print cards
with my image, pinky.

Soon children
all over europe

Will be collecting them.

I'll become so famous

That I'll be elected ruler
by acclamation.

[Cuckoo]

That is brilliant,
brain.

Come, pinky.

An arduous task
awaits us.

Oh. Right, brain.

Oof!

Ohh!

Waaah!

Narf!

Now, pinky.

Perfect.

These images
will inspire people

To come together
and elect me
their leader.

Naaarf.

Why are you wearing
that scary hood, brain?

These are allegorical
images, pinky,

Designed to stir
the superstitious
medieval mind.

For example, here I am
on the wheel of fortune.

Oh, and look!

Ha ha ha ha!

You bought a vowel.

I'm going to have
to hurt you, pinky.

These letters are part
of the hidden message:

"And thus the brain
shall lead us."

The message is revealed

Only when you have
collected the whole set.

Egad! Brilliant, brain.

But, oh, no.
No, wait.

Um, if you put them
together wrong,

You get "shut the brain's
null salad head."

Ha ha ha ha!

Your talent for anagrams
borders on the savant.

I know.

But the cards
are numbered, pinky.

Besides, even a child
would recognize

The simple progression
of these images.

See? This is me
courting industry

And spurning sloth.

This is me astride
the beast of ignorance.

And this is me
pretending to go
really fast.

Whoo-ooh!

Narf!

Cease, demon.

This is me
questioning vanity.

This is me admiring
the beauty of temperance.

Waaah! Oof!

This is me in great pain.

[Cuckoo]

[Cuckoo]

[Cuckoo]

[Cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo]

Extry!

Extry!

Get your
trading cards.

Trading cards,
ma'am?

Uh, it's no use,
brain.

Nobody's stopping.

We must not
give up, pinky.

You!

Pudgy medieval boy.

How would you like
to be the first
on your block

To own a set of these
handsomely printed
trading cards

With my picture on them?

Why? Who are you?

I am a mouse

Using the power
of this newly
invented medium

To take over
the world.

I am going
to be your leader.

That sounds really dorky.

But don't you
want someone

To show you
the way?

Don't you want
to surrender
all initiative

And blindly
trail after
a superior being?

Don't you want
to follow me?

No.

[Flute plays]

I want
to follow him.

Narf!

The pied piper!
Oh! Oh! Oh!

Can we follow him,
too, brain?

Huh? Can we?
Can w--

Don't distract me, pinky.

Apparently, I've been
overly optimistic

About medieval appetite
for collectibles.

You know, I've been
thinking, brain.

A feat that will surely
plunge us backward.

What if you
packaged the cards

With something
everyone likes,

Something, um...
I don't know,

Something
pink and chewy?

That's brilliant, pinky.

Are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

Well, I think so, brain,

But what if we stick
to the seat covers?

No, pinky.

Something
pink and chewy.

We will package
the cards with...
Sausages!

Ah!

Friendly sausages.

And I know just the place
to get some.

Hurry! Hurry!

Get your
trading cards!

Narf!

Now with
free sausage!

Ah!
Ah!
Ah!

Ja!
Free sausage!
Ja!

Egad, brain!

It seems
to be working.

Yes, pinky.

Now it's only
a matter of time.

Who has "vanity?"

I will trade you
for "diligence."


For "the defeat
of lethargy."

[All talking at once]

Wow! When you put them
all together,

There's a message.

Ach!

Ach du lieber!

You know, brain,

It might be
a nice touch

To include a little
mustard packet
with each sausage.

Gustatorily admirable,
pinky,

But, from a sales
standpoint,

Unnecessary.

Shouting mob: brain! Brain!
We want ze brain!

Brain! Brain!
We want ze brain!

Brain! Brain!
We want ze brain!

You hear that? They are
clamoring for me.

Egad! Clamor.

Yes, pinky.

It means my plan
has worked.

Come. I must meet
my adoring public.

[Clamoring]

Good, simple people,

You honor me
by coming here tonight.

Is that him?

He looks like a rat.

It can't be.
We paid the guy

To get rid
of all the rats.

Well, we didn't
actually pay him.

I will be proud
to accept

When you elect me
your leader

By acclamation.

We didn't come
to elect you!

You have been
corrupting
our children.

Was something wrong
with the sausage?

Look at this trash
you've exposed
our children to.

Ach! You have
printed the cards

On the back
of something

That you
shouldn't have.

Your intellectual tomes?

Your newspapers?

No. The girlie
calendars I printed

For the local
blacksmith shops.

Please! You don't
understand.

This was all a mistake.

Ja, you bet it was,

And you are going
to pay for it.

Ja!
Ja!
You'll pay!

I assure you
my intentions
were honorable.

I wasn't trying to lead
your children astray.

Narf!

Look behind you.
He is.

Man:
you think we just fell off
the strudel truck?

Ha ha! You see?

He is trying
the old "narf,
look behind you,

He is" trick.

Egad! But--but...

Don't worry, pinky.

They'll discover
their folly soon enough.

Besides, we must
loosen these ropes

So that we can return
to the cuckoo clock

And prepare
for tomorrow night.

What are we going to do
tomorrow night, brain?

The same thing we do
every night, pinky,

Cover ourselves
with recuperative salve

And, then, try
to take over the world.

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain,

Brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Tonight, pinky,
we are hosting a party,

And the whole world
will be attending.

On such short notice?

Do you think
martha stewart
would approve, brain?

We shall fire a rocket

Carrying billions
of tiny, self-adhesive
mirrors at the moon.

Upon detonation,

The mirrors will cover
the entire surface
of the orb,

Thus creating a gigantic
disco mirror ball.

Naaaarf!

As humanity spends its
every waking moment

Dancing the night away,

We shall
seize the planet!

Brilliant, brain.
Oh, wait. No. No.

Where are we going
to get a rocket
at this hour?

From this
russian catalogue,
pinky.

"Mad molotov's
warhead warehouse.

Cold w*r surplus
at red hot prices."

We'll need in excess
of $23 million.

Egad, that's
a lot of money.

Where are
we going to get it?

I intend to establish
my reputation

As an important
and revered painter,

Then use the proceeds
from the sale of my works
to fund our venture.

Incredible, brain!

Not brain, pinky.
From this moment forward,

I am toulouse laubrain,
artiste modern.

The gallery of modern art.

Outside this
architectural wonder

Have been discovered
many of this era's

Preeminent
artistic talents,

Soon to include
toulouse laubrain.

What are you painting,
laubrain?

Oof!

After a painstaking
computer analysis

Of past artistic trends,

Including realism,
cubism, surrealism,

Dadaism, and mamaism,

I've been able to predict
the next great movement--

Donutism!

Yummy! Oh, that's
the best one yet,
laubrain.

What do you mean, pinky?
It's the only one.

Well, not quite,

But yours is
the only chocolate.

Maybe if you all
got together,

You could
offer discounts
on a dozen.

Woman: awful.

[Sobbing]

How bourgeois.

How wrongly kitsch.

[Sobbing]

Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

I think so, brain,
but if you replace
the "p" with an "o,"

My name
would be oinky,
wouldn't it?

No, pinky. Those critics
will seal our fate.

I'm afraid the art world
has had its fill
of donutism.

Hmm. Maybe they should
eat more vegetablisms,

Then wash it all down
with a nourishing
glass of milk.

Pinky,
there's paint in there.

Mmm?

[Gags]

Choo!

Paint in milk?

Shouldn't
they have put that
somewhere on the label?

Bravo.

Sublime.

How did you achieve
such a delicate balance

Between complexity
and simplicity?

Uh, I gagged
and sneezed. Poit!

Your humility
is as refreshing
as your work, mr., Uh...

Pink--

Pinkasso.
Master pinkasso.

And who might
you be, sir?

Oh, well, he is
toulouse laubrain,

Soon to be
known as--oof--

The mouse, uh, man
who discovered pinkasso

And his great contribution
to the arts, nasalism!

Nasalism?
Why, it's stunning
in its primal angst.

And resplendent in its
emotional density.



Look, there's the critic
for art snob magazine.

Quick, we must
go forth and proclaim
pinkasso's brilliance.

Before anyone else does.

Pinky, it's a miracle.

Lenny and squiggy
finally got their own show?

No, pinky.

You are about
to join the ranks of
world-renowned artists.

Prepare for your


After that, can I have


Don't test me, pinky.

Girl:
cute, very cute.

[Yawns]

Trés, uh--

What do you think,
genevieve?

Oh, well, it is very--
what do you think,
francois?

Well, I think
it is, uh--

Very, um...
What you said.

You know what?

If you took out the "p"
and replaced it with an "o",

My name would oinkasso.
Ha ha.

[Oohs and ahhs]

Now to up the ante.

Disgusting.
Absolutely disgusting!

And, uh, you are?

Bob del monte,

Chairman of the house
un-american artistic
activity committee.

This work
is obscene and indecent,

And when
I am elected president,

I shall
close this facility
permanently.

[Gasps]

This stuff
must be good.

Pinkasso is a master!
You have no right!

Demagogue.

Tyrant.

Philistine.

Tiny head.

Brain, my arm
is getting tired.

You know,
this may affect
my knuckleball.

Occupational hazard,
pinky.

You must
suffer for your art.

But shouldn't I be painting
the canvases myself?

Don't be silly, pinky.

No modern artist
worth his salt
does his own work.

You mean red skelton
doesn't really paint
those clowns?

Red may be
the rare exception,
pinky?

Now keep signing.

The value of your work
is about to skyrocket.

Because...

[Clears throat]

It is
my sad duty to report

That while working
on a new painting,

Pinkasso's nasal passages
became obstructed.

All attempts
to administer decongestant

Were unsuccessful.

The great pinkasso
is no more.

[Gasps]

We are fortunate
that pinkasso

Was able to complete
a scant few masterpieces
before his passing.

Brain on tv:
the final pinkassos
will be auctioned tonight.

[Sobs]

Oh, brain,
why did pinkasso
have to die?

Why? Why?

Because no one really
appreciates an artist

Until they're dead,
pinky.

Now your work
is virtually priceless.

But it's so sad.

I--i feel as if
I've lost someone
very close to me.

Time heals all wounds,
pinky,

Except perhaps
the one in your head.

[Gavel slams]

Sold for $43,000

To the man
in the black fedora.

The bidding for our next lot
will start at $20,000.


Great pinkasso.





[Sobs]






Another dollar.

Dollar to a dime and 29.
Sold! Next lot.

Sold. Sold.

Sold. Sold.

Whew.
Ladies and gentlemen,

I bring you
the last pinkasso.

[Muttering]

Psst, brain?

What is it, pinky?

We've got all the money
we need, brain?

Man: I bid
one million dollars
for the last pinkasso.

Yes, well, perhaps
we'll need a little extra

To redecorate our offices.

Uh, do I hear 1.5 million

For the late pinkasso's
final masterpiece?

[Sobs]



Anything
to appease my sorrow.



Because I can't
take the loss.

[Sobbing]


I have in the world.

If only it could
bring pinkasso back.



Oh, narf!

It's so sad.
I miss him, too.

He was so, so like
the way he was.

[Sobbing]

No, pinky!

[Audience gasps]

It's pinkasso!
He's not dead.

How dare he be alive.

Do you know what this does
to the value of my painting?

[Gulps]
[gulps]

There they are!

Fickle,
aren't they?

I sense
extreme discomfort
will soon befall us.

Yaaaaaaa!

Is this
what you meant by

Suffering
for your art, brain?

Sometimes those of us
with vision

Endure hardships on the road
to greatness, pinky.

Now come, we must prepare
for tomorrow night.

Why, brain?

What are
we going to do
tomorrow night?

The same thing
we nearly did
tonight, pinky,

Try to take over the--

Ow! Perhaps we should sit
out a night.

♪ They're dinky, they're
pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪