03x11 - Mice Don't Dance/Brain Drained

[bunniefuu]

Announcer: and now, here are
your emmy award winning stars

Pinky and the brain!

My friends,

Henceforth our program

Will present only searing
intellectual drama.

No more cheap
slapstick gags.

From now on,
only dignity.

Huh?

Aaah!

Pinky:
dignity hurts.

Man:
ha ha ha!

Gee, brain,

What do you
want to do tonight?

Same thing we do
every night, pinky.

Try to take over
the world.

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ One is a genius

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're
laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

♪ Before each night
is done ♪

♪ Their plan
will be unfurled ♪

♪ By the dawning
of the sun ♪

♪ They'll take over
the world ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Their twilight campaign

♪ Is easy to explain

♪ To prove
their mousey worth ♪

♪ They'll overthrow
the earth ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Narf!

[Organ playing charge]

Oof, oof, oof!

Oof!

Voila!

Announcer:
now coming into
the game for calgary,

Star center pinky baiul!

[Cheering]

Ahh...
Duhhh...

[Humming]

Arrgh!

Hello, lights?

Come on, people,
I can't work like this.

I turned it off.

Oh, right. Ha ha ha!

Oh, egad, brain,
that was more fun

Than the time
we made oatmeal
in my mouth. Narf!

Pinky, it's not a toy.

It's a virtual reality
transynchrotron,

Capable of simulating
not only games,

But also the future.

Egad!

How, brain?

I have reduced
all of history
to a simple equation.

Like e=mc little 2?

Even simpler.

Just "e."

Eeeee...

Using my equation,

These headsets will
allow us to visit
the virtual future,

When one of my plans
has succeeded

And I am
ruling the world.

Which plan, brain?

Hmm. Well...

They're all
so feasible.

[Gasp]
[gasp]

A realization,
pinky.

Aah! Where?
Is it on me?

Get it off!
Get it off!

We do know which plan
will succeed.

This one.

Heh heh heh.

So many levels.

Ha ha ha.
"Levels." Oooh...

Once we broadcast
a tape of the future,

The world will see
how perfect life will be
under my rule

And gladly
surrender now.

Prepare, pinky.

We're taking a trip
to the future.

I brought some snacks
for our trip

And some light reading.

Jurassic park.

You know, this would
make a great movie.

Pinky, I think your
cerebrospinal fluid

Is running
a few quarts low.

Heh. "Cerebro...
Few quarts low."

Well, same to you!

Heh heh.

"Well, same to you--"

Ooh!

This dial turns it on,

And this one
sets the time.

What about this one?

Don't touch that,
pinky.

Why?

That one
opens the garage.

It's set to show us
where we'll be
ruling in the future.

I wonder where my future
headquarters will be.

Twitty city?

What? It's
the hip dollywood.

No, pinky.

Someplace like
the white house,
the kremlin...

The lab?

Look, brain,
we're over there.

Brain,
we're ancient.

We must be almost


My white hair
has turned gray.

Egad!

Ooh, I haven't
aged well at all.

I really should
use a night cream.

Ha ha. And look
at your floppy
left ear.

You can't
raise it up anymore.

Ha ha ha!

Pinky, where
is my fluxometer?

Where
did you put it?

If I knew where I put it,
i--i--

You're trying to
trick me, aren't you?

About what?

My...

I have no idea.

Hmm.

Pinky, right?

You're asking me?

Grrrrraahh!

Ughh!
Ooh, my hip.

Hoo haa!
[Cough cough]

Narf.

It's like watching
the best of wheeler
and woolsie.

But I don't understand.

Where are my minions,
my cabinet,

My jewel-encrusted
cummerbund?

Blech. [Coughs]

What are we going
to do tonight...

Um...brain?

Same thing we do
every night, pinky.

Try to--

Try to do
that same--

You're trying
to trick me again,
aren't you?

What?

I'm still trying
to take over the world?

Still trying?

Still trying?

The same thing...

We do every night,
pinky.

Same thing we do
every night, pinky.

Same thing we do
every night, pinky.

Same thing we do
every night, pinky.

Pinky, I'll...

I'll never actually
take over the world.

Night after night,

None of my
brilliant plans...

Ever successful.

My entire life
will be a waste.

Still hung up on that whole
"failure to achieve
your life's goal

'Cause I'm a big fat
loser thing," eh?

Yes. Quite a shame,
really.

So, what are we going to do
tomorrow night, brain?

I have no idea.

Well, um, actually,
I have a plan.

We can make pencils
that taste like bacon.

All right, then.
Oh, oh, oh!

We'll make bacon
that tastes like pencils.

Um...pencils that
taste like pencils?

Hmm...i'm running
out of ideas here.

Don't you see,
pinky?

I've squandered
my entire life.

Look at me.
I'm middle-aged.

I have nothing
to show for my life

Except a sagging
waistline

And a roommate
who thinks lint
is a delicacy.

Uh!

Uhh.

Uhh...uh!

[Panting]

Ah-ha-ha!

Oh, what
a fun ride.

Narf!

Um, sorry
I got sick,

But, all in all...

Egad. What are
you doing, brain?

I'm giving away
everything I own.

Material possessions

No longer have
any meaning for me.

I have no need
anymore for...

For anything.

Um...

Brain?

Don't you think maybe
you've had enough
to drink?

Nag, nag, nag.
Just leave me be.

Ok. That's it!

"Tough love" time.

[Peppy music plays]

A-one and a-two
and a...

♪ Just say narf!

♪ Just say narf!

♪ Don't you know,
to be glad ♪

♪ Just say narf!

♪ Every day is a joy
and so marvelous ♪

♪ Don't ruin it
with plenty of fuss ♪

♪ Just say zort!

♪ Just say--

Poit...

[Thunder]

Poit.

Go, brain.

Go find your smile.

Maybe pinky's right.

"Just say narf."

Yes. Forget the world
and just--

As today's kids say--

Have fun.

Yes. From now on,

I'm living life
to the fullest.

This is the first day
of the rest of my life.

[Brain narrating]
and so,

I decided to go
for the gusto

And start living life
in the fast lane.

But I was only
fooling myself.

I was drifting,
rudderless,

Like some kind of...

Rudderless,
drifty thing.

What are you
thinking, brain?

Brain?

All my madcap merrymaking
couldn't shoo away

The little rain cloud
in my heart.

Worse, I found out

That my toupee
wasn't a "clooney."

It was a "schwimmer,"
whoever that is.

I was blind,
a soul in pain,

Spinning wildly
out of control,

Until I bumped
into my neighbor mr. Sultana.

Or at least,
bumped into his house.

Yaah!

[Ding dong]

Man: coming!

Mr. Sultana,

It is i,
your neighbor,

Mr. Feldman.

Feldman!

You look upset.

Perhaps you come in,

We sh**t some pool,

We talk about your problem.

Come in, come in.

Ok, yes, yes,
my friend.

We talk, we laugh,
we cry.

Whatever you want.

I rack them.

Hmm.

Maybe try this one?

So, uh,
how is the things

With you
and mrs. Feldman?

Mrs. Feldman?

Oh. Oh, yes.

They're fine.

Mr. Sultana,

I think I'm having
a mid-life crisis.

Oh, too bad.

Table must be uneven.

I just--

I no longer find
my occupation
satisfying.

This I do know.

Long ago, sultana
very big talent agent.

Perhaps you hear of
my best clients,

Siegfried and roy?

Yes. I've seen
their magic.

Magic?

What, eh...

What magic?

Anyhoo, I don't like
show business.

Too many phonies.

So I go see
career counselor.

He tell me
what I should be.

Which is what?

Paranoid recluse.

The pay is not so good,

But the hours are
very flexible.

Career counselor,
very smart.

Very smart,
career counselor!

Career counselor.
Career counselor.

Career counselor.

I've done mostly lab work,

Electro-mechanical
engineering,

Rebuilding
particle accelerators,

Mind control,
that sort of stuff.

I have all the data
I need.

The computer correlates
your work history,

Your abilities,
and intelligence,

In order to
precisely determine

Your ideal vocation.

Ah.

And your
true calling is...

Ski instructor.

Congratulations.

Ski instructor?

Ski instructor.

I can do that.

It's just like being
a math instructor,

Just less math
and a lot more skiing.

Yes!

Yes, yes, of course.

From this point on,

I, the brain,
am a ski instructor.

Well, pinky,

I guess this is it.

I think I've got
everything.

But you know me,

Always forgetting
my comb, my socks,

My louis farrakhan
calypso records.

Pinky, I'm sorry.

I thought I'd been clear.

I'm leaving to become
a ski instructor.

Just me, sans you.

Oh,
so that's it, eh?

That's the thanks
I get,

Working double shifts

Just to put you
through law school!

I never went
to law school.

I suppose that's
my fault, too!

Good-bye, pinky.

Bye, brain.

Take care.

Good morning, students.

Good morning,
jean-claude brain.

Today, I will instruct you
in the mastery

Of inertia re-establishment

Utilizing weight
distribution

Through metatarsal
manipulation.

You mean stopping?

Yes. But when I say it,

It sounds groovy.

Both: bonjour,
jean-claude brain.

[Giggling]

Yes!

Ski bunnies.

Could life get any better?

Dirty, dirty, dirty.

Sultana: yoo-hoo,
eh, mrs. Feldman?

[Gasps]

Mrs. Feldman?

I saw the mr. Feldman
leave to find himself.

So I brought some gift
to cheer you up.

Um, i-i'm in the shower.

You'll have to come back
some other time.

You may leave your present.

It's a yam.

I leave for you.

Ok?

Bye-bye!

[Gasp]

You look like brain.

[Imitating brain]
pinky, are you pondering

What I'm pondering?

I think so, yam.

But, oh, I wish
I could see brain.

I can't see him now.

But I can see him
in the future.

Can you see ok, yam?

Let's see where
brain is tomorrow.

Ha ha ho ho!

Oh, I'm a skier!

Narf!

Oh, look, yam,

It's brain.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, my gosh.

Brain's happy here.

He found his smile.

Hurrah! Ha!

Ah, how did I ever
get along without
fresh air,

Exercise, and tiny
electric socks?

♪ Ricola

[Echoing]
[gasps]

[Rumbling]

Brain!

Aah!

Brain! Brain!

Dig, yam!

Dig like you've
never dug before!

[Beep]

Neh!

Brain is going
to die tomorrow!

Yam?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ah, how did I ever
get along without
fresh air,

Exercise, and tiny
electric socks?

Riiiii--

Pinky: no,
stop that!

Aah,
snow blind!

Poit, poit!

No, it couldn't be.

Tell me that's not--

Whaa!

Ooh!

Pinky, what are
you doing here?

I came to save you, brain.

I don't need saving.

Don't you understand?

You're part of
my old life.

I'm happy, happy!

Do you hear?

Ricooo--

No, no, brain.

You mustn't yell that word,

Or you'll cause a big,
noisy avalanche

And be smooshed.

I saw it, brain,

And so did yam.

Pinky, you're babbling
more than usual.

But it's true, brain.

Smooshed dead.

We saw it all
in the goggles.

The virtual reality
goggles?

But--but if
you saw it there,

And the future
can't be changed,

Then that means
I am going to die
in an avalanche.

Pinky, hurry.
Get out of here.

Save yourself.

No, brain.
I'd never leave you.

You can't save me.

I can't lose you again,
brain.

Without you,
I feel so garfunkley.

Pinky, please!

No!

Yes!

[Echoing]

Quick, brain,
up this tree!

Come on, brain, jump!

Uh!

Yah!

[Gasp]

No time, pinky.

Go on without me.

Never!

Hold on, brain!

I'm alive.

Ha ha ha!

Me, too. Narf!

Ha ha!

Oh, fun, fun!

♪ We're making snow angels ♪

Ha ha.

Uh, do you need
instructions?

I survived.

Pinky,
are you pondering

What I'm pondering?

I think so, brain.

But if we had
a snowmobile,

Wouldn't it melt
before summer?

Don't you see, pinky?

I didn't die.

The future
can be changed.

I can still
fulfill my dreams,

My destiny of
taking over the world.

[Choking]
air not reaching shins.

We must return
to the lab, pinky.

We have giant dryers
to build,

Hypnotic socks to knit.

And pencils to make
taste like bacon.

Possibly.

Pinky:
whaa ha ha!

Pinky, I told you
to destroy

That villainous harbinger
of the future.

Whaa!

Some things are best
left unknown.

Oh, brain, brain,
you've got to see this.

It's incredible.

A huge crowd in front
of the lab cheering.

Just like you've
always dreamed.

Say what?

[Cheering]

Yes!

Pinky,

My dreams of taking over
the world

Have finally been realized.

Yam! Yam! Yam!

Yam?

This trip is over.

Hurry, pinky,

We have to get back
to reality

So we can plan
for tomorrow night.

Why?

What are we going to do
tomorrow night, brain?

Same thing we do
every night, pinky.

Try to take over the yam.

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain, brain