03x19 - Leggo My Ego/Big in Japan

[bunniefuu]

[Pinky] Gee, Brain,

what do you want to do tonight?

The same thing
we do every night, Pinky,

try to take over the world.

♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ One is a genius ♪

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪ Before each night is done ♪

♪ Their plan will be unfurled ♪

♪ By the dawning of the sun ♪

♪ They'll take over the world ♪

♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Their twilight campaign ♪

♪ Is easy to explain ♪

♪ To prove their mousy worth ♪

♪ They'll overthrow the Earth ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

[Pinky] Narf!

[woman] Oh, thank you.
Thank you for curing me, Dr. Freud.

Thanks to your miracle technique,

I am no longer delusional.

It's called hypnosis, Fraulein.

I took you back
to re-experience your childhood.

Whatever you did, it worked.

I used to think
that little men were following me around,

but now I know that little men

were just in meine imagination.

[doorbell rings]

Ach. Excuse me, Fraulein.

That's enough, Pinky.

Come.

You stand lookout while I write my name

in Dr. Freud's appointment book.

[whispers] Right, Brain.

Hello.

Lovely day, isn't it? Narf!

Uh, Doctor...

Hurry, Pinky. Let's go.

Ta-ta. Nice chatting with you.

Funny. There was nobody there.

Now, Fraulein, where were we?

[woman] Aaah!

The little men! The little men!

They're back!

Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl...

Aaah!

Hmm.

You know, you might want
to think about another appointment!

Aah!

What are we going
to do now, Brain?

Ring some
more doorbells and run away?

- No, Pinky.
- Ohh!

We've come to Vienna

to see the great hypnotizing psychiatrist

Dr. Sigmund Freud.

Oh, bravo, Brain!

You're finally getting some help

for that problem of yours...

You know, the one where
you ring people's doorbells

and then run away. Troz!

Look, Pinky,
I'll explain this one more time.

My appointment
with Dr. Freud is only a ruse.

When he tries to hypnotize me,

I will use a pair of mirrored glasses
to reverse the process,

thereby hypnotizing Freud himself.

Egad! Brilliant, Brain!

Then you can make him wear
a lovely dress and act like a monkey.

Pinky, how would that
possibly help us

to take over the world?

Well, actually, I was thinking of it

more as entertainment. Poit.

All Vienna knows that
the Emperor Franz Josef

is being treated
by Freud for depression.

- When Freud is under my spell...
- [Pinky grunting]

I will order him
to hypnotize the emperor

into giving me, the Brain,

his right to the imperial throne,

allowing me to take over the world!

- [squeak]
- [plop]

Uhh!

Ooh!

Did you bring
my mirrored glasses, Pinky?

Yes, I did, Brain.

They're right in here
with all the fun, fun games

I brought to play with
in the waiting room.

Zort!
[gasps]

Oh, look! I've got jacks
and wind-up toys

and a mahjong tile

and a bottle cap... Ooh! And yarn.

[Freud] Herr Brain, you're next.

No! Don't leave me!

I'll be so bored!

What shall I do?!

Well, what about all this stuff?

Boring. Been there, done that.

Well, make small talk
with that man over there

and give me my mirrored glasses.

Um... hi.

Let's see. Um...

do you know anything
about Lilliputians?

Excuse me?

I'm sorry. I'm just trying
to make small talk.

Ach, don't trouble yourself.

I'm just a sad little sad man.

Life brings me nothing
but dreary sadness.

I'm sad all the time.

Boy, am I sad.

Well, I brought a pair
of googly-eye glasses.

They'll cheer you up.

Oogedy-boogedy!

Ha ha ha ha ha! Narf!

But all I see is my own dreary,
sad little sad face.

Poit. These aren't
my googly-eye glasses.

These are mirrored gla... [gasps]

Uh-oh.

You are getting sleepy...

Very sleepy.

No, no.

You are getting sleepy.

[boing]

Hey, take off
those ridiculous glasses.

Huh?

Now, where were we?

Ah, yes.

You are getting sleepy.

Wait. Pinky has my other glasses.

I... I need them. I'll just...

No, silly-billy.

You don't need glasses
to be hypnotized.

Oh, yes. Really, I...

have... to... get... them. I...

Yes. Let yourself go.

Must remember to...

hurt Pinky at first opportunity.

No. You don't want to hurt anybody.

We are going
to discover who hurt you.

We are going back
to your childhood.

Yes. Going back...

Back.

You are in a deep sleep, ja?

Ja.

I mean...

Yes.

[Freud] I want you to think about a time

when you were very young.

[Freud] Where you are, Brain?

[Brain] In a field, playing.

[Freud] How old are you?

[Brain] Just a child,

not a care in the world.

[grunts]

[snaps]

[clatters]

[grunts]

[Brain] Suddenly I'm being chased,

hunted down like
some sort of rabid dog.

Terrified, I run home to my parents.

They rush to my aid,

but my assailant is overpowering.

I was taken from my home

and sent to a research facility.

As I entered those doors,

the carefree innocence of my youth

was snuffed out like a candle,

replaced with unremitting darkness.

Lab-coated g*ons
tried to break our spirits

and brainwash us into submission.

Others emerged
from the experience...

not quite all there.

Narf! Zort!

Hee hee hee hee!

The slightest insolence
resulted in punishment

both swift and brutal.

Please, sir, I'd like some more.

[mice gasp]

More?

You want more?

Aah.

Aah!

I never met a man I didn't meet.

Aah!

The problem with Congress is...

they're all liars.

Aah!

Make it stop!

And how did that make you feel?

Angry...

like I wanted to...

to take over the world.

Hmm. Emotional displacement.

Obviously, you were missing
the comfort of your home.

Describe the scene
when you were taken away.

Describe your home.

[Brain] It's warm.

It's inviting.

It's...

a tin can.

There's something
on the side of it, a...

a picture.

[Freud] A picture of what?

No. No.

I... I mean, I... I can't tell.

Yes. You must.

[Brain] It's a picture of...

of...

the world!

And then they dragged me away.

And you want your world back.

It's simple.

[Brain] Yes!

- [snaps]
- What? Where am I?

Your problem is simple, Herr Brain.

You just want to go home.

I do?

Ja. You don't want
to take over the world.

I don't?

I don't?

- [clicks]
- Okay, time's up.

Wait. My plan.

I... I need more time.

Ja. Ja. We set up
another appointment.

No, I-I've got to...

"How to hypnotize anyone.

Create a relaxing atmosphere."

Okey-dokey, you sick little puppy.

Move it. I got another client.

Oh, there's not
enough time for this.

- [smack]
- Oh!

[gasps]

Oh, no. What have I done?

Oh, no.
What have I done?

Yes!

You'll obey my every command.

I will obey.

But wait. Maybe Freud is right.

Maybe this obsession of mine

is nothing but cheap nostalgia.

Maybe all I'm really longing for is...

is...

a rusty tin can.

What a quack.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Narf!

Oh, very good, Mr. Elephant.

Zort!

[trumpets]
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ach, Herr Pinky,
I'm having the most exciting fun

for the first time
in my dreary, sad life.

- Ha ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha ha!

Narf!

- Ha ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha ha!

I will hypnotize
the Emperor Franz Josef

and order him
to make Brain his successor.

Perfect.

When I snap my fingers,
you will awaken.

[snaps fingers]

Ach! Herr Brain, it's late.

You made good progress today.

More than you know, Doctor.

Oh, come over any time, Herr Pinky.

Here is meine card.

Auf wiedersehen.

Gesundheit!

Who's your new friend, Pinky?

"His Most Imperial Emperor Franz Josef"?

Pinky, that's the man
I wanted Freud to hypnotize.

[Pinky] Oh, he doesn't want to be
hypnotized now, Brain.

Since I taught him
all my favorite games,

he says he'll never
need therapy again.

I believe I need therapy, Pinky,

to find out why I hang around
with a nut like you.

Come. We must go back to the lab

and prepare for tomorrow night.

Why, Brain?

What are we going to do
tomorrow night?

Try to shrink your head?

No, Pinky,

the same thing we do every night,

no matter how forcefully
the purveyors of psychobabble

attempt to dissuade us...

Try to take over the world!

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

[Brain] Assuming a standard
height-to-weight ratio

- and a 3-point margin of error...
- [Pinky] Ha ha ha ha!

[synthetic laughter]

Factor in g-force and wind shear

of each downward thrust...

[Pinky] Ha ha ha ha!

[synthetic laughter]

That does it!

Pinky, what are you doing?

Ha ha ha! Oh, poit! I'm playing

with my new
"Tickle Me Herbert" doll, Brain.

You just tickle him here,

and he laughs and laughs.

Kootchie zkootchie kootchie!

[synthetic laughter]

Well, put it away.

I can hardly hear myself think.

Maybe you're just not
thinking loud enough, Brain.

Pinky, may I see that for a moment?

Sure... Uhh!

[synthetic laughter]

[laughter fades]

Oh, Brain, I think he likes you.

Zort!

Now maybe I'll have the quiet I need

to finish perfecting my latest plan.

You might say we're going fishing.

Fishing? Troz!

Oh, what fun, Brain!

I'll bring my beekeeper's bonnet

and all the stuff
you need for keeping bees.

Oh, no, no, wait.
That's not fishing.

Ha! Oh, that's skiing.

Try to focus, Pinky.

This is the finnious japonicus,

commonly known in Japan as mugu.

One bite of its tail
renders anyone who eats it

unable to move for 24 hours.

I had a linoleum sandwich last week

that made me feel the same way,

but shiny.

Pinky, if you have anything to say,

please raise your hand.

Right, Brain.

And place it over your mouth.

[muffled]
Okay.

My plan is simply this...

I will capture
a pair of mugu, breed them,

and market the tails
throughout the world

as Cappy Brain's Frozen Fish Sticks.

While the populace is immobilized,

I shall implement
my plan of world domination.

There's only one catch.

Oh? Well, that won't be enough

to feed the whole world, then, will it?

[muffled]
Sorry.

The japonicus is so rare

that the only known specimens

are those bred in captivity

for the dining pleasure
of Japan's most elite sumo wrestlers.

[muffled question]

Take your hand off your mouth

if you're going to speak, Pinky.

Oh.
[muffled question]

I have anticipated your query, Pinky.

I plan to become

one of Japan's most elite sumo wrestlers.

Observe.

Narf!
[gasps]

The "Tickle Me Dom Deluise"?

Oh, why, that's
the most expensive one.

Look closer, Pinky.

I have modified my suit

to fit the precise specifications

of a champion sumo wrestler.

With the adjustments I've made,

I'll be able to flip a 600-pound man.

Won't you need
an awfully large spatula for that?

Don't forget to pack your doll

when we go to Japan, Pinky.

I might feel the need

for some intelligent conversation.

And sumo!

Noogie.

Give him the noogie.

Noogie, noogie, noogie.

Unh!

Good work, Tomu-san.

Tomorrow we work on the wedgie.

Now go.

[Brain] Master Hama?

Yes?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am the Brain.

I have come many miles
with my small valet Pinky

to study sumo
at the camp of Master Hama.

Your head is as small as a lychee nut,

but your physique
is excellent for sumo.

I would be honored to teach you.

Actually, I am but
an insignificant lab mouse

attempting to take over the world.

The honor is all mine.

[gears clank]

- [Pinky] Whaa!
- [Brain] Whoa!

[crash]

There is no need for false humility

and groveling.

Come. We begin immediately.

Let us begin our first lesson.

Excellent.

Who do I flip first?

Patience, Brain-san.

There will be time for flipping

when you are more advanced.

Today, we consider the pebble.

Consider the pebble?

Zen exercise
to increase concentration.

Observe the pebble's simplicity.

Listen to its silence.

Become the pebble.

You want me to stare
at a rock all day?

[chuckles]
Oh, no, no.

Just until lunchtime.

See you in four hours.

Hama thinks I'm a beginner, Pinky.

Until he lets me compete

and prove that I belong in the camp

with advanced wrestlers,

I'll never get access to the mugu.

Pinky?

What?

Oh, sorry, Brain.

I was becoming one with the pebble.

Were you?

Yes. And it's really easy.

All you have to do
is make your mind a complete blank.

Too bad drawing a blank
isn't an Olympic event, Pinky.

We could retire
on the gold medals you'd win.

[Hama] Eat well, Brain-san.
We have much training left to do.

Aren't you hungry, Master Hama?

No. I eat big lunch
with my star wrestlers

in other dining hall...

Fried mugu, Cajun mugu,
mugu chowder, mojo mugu.

Someday, Brain-san,

perhaps you will be
allowed to eat mugu, too, eh?

Sooner than you think,
my Pan-Pacific friend.

The sumo men
must eat a lot to get so fat.

Wrestlers not fat, Pinky-san.

It is muscle tissue

resulting from years
of strenuous yoga exercises.

[door opens]

Who wants pie?

[wrestlers clamoring]

Well, even the best athletes
like a good meringue.

Pinky, a day has passed,

and we have nothing to show for it.

Oh, I don't know, Brain.

I've developed a lovely relationship

with our new friend the pebble.

Pinky, have you ever contemplated
the sound of one hand bopping?

One hand, um...

Don't think so.

Aah!

[crowd chattering in distance]

What is it? What's going on?

It is Matsuhisa,
the best wrestler in camp.

He has had too much pie

and is taking on all challengers.

Grrr!

[Pinky] Egad, Brain.

You'd have to be quite a wrestler

to b*at that Matsu Hoozy fellow.

Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

I think so, Brain,

But who wants to see

Snow White and the Seven Samurai?

No, Pinky.

I will defeat the great Matsuhisa,

thereby proving

that I am a great sumo wrestler.

Then you can eat pie till you pop. Narf!

- [smack]
- Aah!

Matsuhisa, I will accept
your challenge.

What's going on here?

Brain-san has
gone completely insane.

Hmm, oh, that would explain

why he won't talk
to my new friend the pebble.

[grunting]

Whoa!

Oof!

Quit now, Brain-san.

Better to be live coward
than dead idiot.

Don't worry, Hama.

It's a matter of scientific fact

that I can flip any man
up to 600 pounds.

Matsuhisa weighs 601 pounds.

Arrr!

Rats.

Noogie, noogie, noogie.

Ow!

Stop hurting Brain,
you, you pie wrecker!

- [grunts]
- Whoa!

[crash]

Whaa!

[grunts]

Kootchie kootchie.

[laughing]

Kootchie kootchie kootchie. Poit.

Kootchie kootchie koo. Zort!

Kootchie koo.

Kootchie koo.

Kootchie poit!

[crowd clamoring]

Whaa ha! Whaa ha ha ha!

Whoa ho ho ho!

Whoa! Whoa! Oof!

[cheering]

The winner!

Narf! Bring on the pie!

[chattering]

[Pinky] Ooh, now we can get
into the fancy restaurant, Brain.

Yes, Pinky,

and we'll get a hold of the fancy fish.

This way, Pinky.

This is it, Pinky.

The world's only specimens
of finnious japonicus

are in this t*nk.

Soon, kitchen freezers
throughout the world

will be stocked
with Cappy Brain's Delicious Mugu Tails,

bursting with paralytic goodness.

You put the yum
in yum-yum-yummy, Cappy Brain.

Zort!

[both grunt]

Tell me if you see
any movement, Pinky.

[Pinky] Um, think I saw
some movement just then, Brain.

Perhaps I should have researched
the size of the mugu

a bit more thoroughly.

What do we do now, Cappy Brain?

Hope the chef
pushes the mugu, Pinky,

and plan for tomorrow night.

Why? What are we going to do
tomorrow night, Brain?

Same thing we do
every night, Pinky...

Dry off, and then

try to take over the world.

[bubbling voice]
♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're Pinky
And the Brain ♪

♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

[♪♪♪]