I used to love the nightlife and hang
out in a bar I used to hit the bottle
but then I hit a cup
just see me guna strike
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I gotta go
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I don't know what it is about Saturday
night but there's something magical in
the air that just screams what have you
got on tonight like going down to skid
row to bet on which drunk will pass out
birth as a matter of fact yes and you
giving some hairdresser a rubdown with
your face
it's buffets not of the gym when it's
time to flex my gluteus I was at silky
smooth and soft burns my treat the room
sorry that blade must have got a little
dull when I use it to scrape the bird
[ __ ] off my wheels take you to fiddle
with my father behind my back come on
princess where's this sense of humor
Riley if you want me to get you ready
you'd better shake a leg no thanks
Frannie's coming over for a little game
of scratch and sniff I gotta get all
sweaty anyway so why clean up what a
life you act like a slop and she still
lays out the pink welcome mat yes it is
good to be me sorry fellas
give me some bad chili you better clear
out it ain't gonna be pretty
I will give you complete privacy you
just take your time hey why so dressed
up why aren't we going out while we're
gonna end up here anyway I figured we
can cut right to the poking and roping
part of the evening oh I guess I just
thought that since it's my that dress
looks so great on you I can't wait to
take it off
come on Frannie the little general wants
to inspect the troops attention take me
all night
you can watch the sunrise between my
thighs
that was incredible baby the best what
wait you mean then we do it again must
be six hours now she's begging for a
rest looks like you had a good time at
Jim Spaulding ah does the smile on my
face
give me a why no it's the barbell
sticking out of your butt okay can I
have a piece of her leg it's a dream of
mine oh we all chipped in - Frannie was
love from the boys you purchased a half
acre of rainforest as a sanctuary in my
name Oh
this must have cost a fortune we've been
saving up for months and I sold my
great-grandma's wedding ring
well once we dug her up it was no
problem slipping it off her finger oh
you are all so thoughtful okay I was in
a bit of a jam but I figured with a
little luck someone would change the
subject and I'd be home free
Oh do I sense like people with a bad
memorize it I was wrong
surprise Wow even I remembered and I'm a
thoughtless pig
I didn't forget I just just
very impressive yeah I could sink my
teeth into a piece of that no I mean the
size of your cojones to Google another
babe when you're standing beside your
girlfriend must you leer like a goat and
heat at every woman who walks by I'm a
man we're genetically programmed to
forget birthdays until ear like heated
goats what a guy is filet mignon every
night sometimes he likes a little
hamburger smell so you're saying I'm a
piece of meat no literally out of
context what I meant was the one thing I
am a vegetarian for another thing shove
it up your ass what's just we've been
together so long I'm relaxed around you
you're like a comfortable old shoe
what a sweet talker this shoe is walking
hmm
pull Franny she deserves so much more
how true she's such a gem nah she could
have done a lot worse than my man Riley
Thank You Fontaine serial K*llers act
murderers cannibals hey I put Frannie up
on a pedestal yeah so you could look up
her skirt I've got an idea
mind your own freakin business let her
cool her heels
she'll be back apologizing to me
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he takes me for granted he's so
uninformed try wiping his are february
d*ed we should look into my eyes instead
of that my chest when he talks to me you
want a little womanly advice do yourself
a favor
try a little comparison shopping i
couldn't all I'm saying is that someone
else comes knocking on the door take a
look through that peephole miss the
South Alfa suffer any trauma on the way
to the restaurant
no each sprout was individually
euthanized by our chef to make sure they
felt no pain in fact no vegetables were
harmed in the making of this sandwich
hey I'm no you please did either of you
notice that man over there was
undressing me with his arm
gee I didn't mean either nah didn't
think though this should get it started
I'm sorry you had to see me and my
boyfriend fight like that oh forget it I
had the same problem in my last
relationship
luckily a car ran over my problem huh
your boyfriend got hit by a car - yeah
but yours lived you poor thing do you
mind I'm on a break
confirms it you were an Egyptian
princess in a past life we were best
friends Oh My yes yes it's coming back
to me I even remember when we met April
2nd 2000 BC it was your birthday this is
where I get off
I really enjoyed talking with you yeah
let's Sun do it again
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morning honeypot last night was amazing
we reached a cosmic plane all 14 times
is my boyfriend gonna wonder where you
were oh I'm sure he'll be totally okay
with this he knows I need to try new
things
good then let's go for number 15 hello
I'm back sooner than I expected
listen Frannie I know it's tough to find
words right now so I'll go first apology
accepted how understanding of you one of
us has to be big about this I want to
share the most incredible experience of
my life with you yeah you hold that
thought I'm up to 1,500 points here I
met someone
there's no way that spaceship got me she
and I have so much in common we talked
for hours and then we had sex
Oh night yeah it's great great honor she
you had sex with a she just in case I
miss something
go back to the top and start from the
beginning our auras merged our souls
became one our fingers gently probing
our hungry tongues searching
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how could you have done that I thought
you'd be happy I was just expressing
myself you can't have sex behind your
partner's back that's a man's job good
for you girlfriend Paula things
wonderful you knew about this Hugh gay
Judas I forbid you to ever do anything
like this again you forbid me I didn't
know I was on a leash so I told him we
needed some time apart oh I knew you'd
be upset maybe miss Winkie can cheer you
up
not right now I'm not in the mood no
this is miss Winky Oh your bunny is
adorable so is yours and I bought you
something for your birthday
how thoughtful it's
it's bad
I figured Frannie was probably home
crying herself to sleep she'd be back on
her hands and knees where incidentally
she'd done some of her finest work in
the meantime I was determined to spread
my own wings a little now I can do all
the things I couldn't do cuz Fran he's
been holding me back
oh sweet freedom all those things you
wanna do oh brother what are those
things again well I can I've got it
I can eat pork rinds and fart oh you
said a mouthful brother
let's see Oh little pate Kevin bear Oh
some crab legs hurry up hurry up I'm
hungry
you're not getting used to all this
freedom it's gonna be tough taking Fanny
back I ran into her and Paula last night
she's never seemed happier really I'm so
glad to hear that oh so you don't mind
that some carpet muncher is doing the
labia lip-lock with your sweetie the
most important thing is Franny's
happiness if a clam digger can satisfy
her in ways I can't god bless her
felt good telling the guys how happy I
was for Frannie and her new relationship
but it just wasn't true I'm such a fool
what am i done I'm nothing without her
oh it's nothing really I just saw them
and thought of you thanks they're great
wait don't you want to try the mom yeah
there's something else I'd rather sleep
me too I get that one over there why
don't you just send her a boot-cut
little florist and pay the prices those
jackals charge no thank you
you just keep picking
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Riley how sweet noise
I hope you're hungry
I made your favorite meal I just want a
vegetal or wax Jesus a slug oops
might have to get me a new bunny good
thing you're only a couple of bucks
she'll be here any minute it's all set
Frannie you look spectacular a toast to
your unparalleled beauty how sweet
hey careful those are genuine cubic
zirconias oh what a week I'm sure glad I
have you to support me guys need your
help
I've got to get Franny back to life you
know what they say once you go guy
there's no other one who says that I do
you heal in time if not you'll be dead
in 40 years the pain will stop then
later have I ever asked you for anything
before I don't know when your lips start
flapping I stopped listening this is me
begging please well I had no idea you
were so good at groveling
okay okay I'll help now the first thing
we got to do is to know the enemy get
inside the lesbian brain think like ways
be ins act like lesbians we must become
lesbians
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I'm not the kind of man to let friendiy
go without a fight
I was gonna show the world just what
kind of man I am prepare to enter the
secret world of gorgeous supermodels
with tiny hips and full right since when
did you become an expert I spent
countless hours watching p*rn not
just as a pervert but as a student
yeah they are no beautiful it's it's
like they're like regular people I've
been lied to
boy if you can't trust the p*rn industry
who can you trust
how could we be sure this one is even a
woman she's a woman all right oh quit
fooling around
we came here to learn let's spread out
and many more I'm not personal but where
do you keep all the good-looking
lesbians are they in the back or
something good
does this h*m* thing run in your family
are your mom and dad both lesbos how
come when we're performing our lesbionic
duties on one another some guy always
wanders by and horns in on the action
when you first became a lesbian did you
have to take a written test or is it all
oral new ladies are asking a lot of
questions
so what did we learn actually I don't
know and this line tells me you are an
Egyptian princess in a past life hello
Paula
Oh Frannie wait not that you're ever a
big help but you could draw sure we had
our problems who doesn't I made mistakes
plenty of them
now don't hunt me the rest of my life
you want to hear me say it is that what
you want fine I'm pathetic happy now
Paul I can't take it anymore your
incessant whining it's driving me up a
bloody wall
I'll help just promise me you'll shut up
boy if I don't pathetic worked so well I
would use it years ago
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just be honest with her speak what's in
your heart as soon as she comes in sneak
up and slow if she decides not to take
it back
you still got yourself one last piece
hmm the important thing is not to act
like yourself oh I was so nervous my
mouth was dry my heart was pounding it
was like our first date all over again
Frannie come in you look really you know
Wow
kind of real pretty like five bucks says
she stays with the lesbo I I appreciate
the trouble you've gone to but the truth
is maybe we're just not meant for each
other
before you make that decision I've
prepared some visual aids to find out
just who is right for you
if I can point out some pros and cons of
each relationship it should make things
clearer this is you me and your lesbian
first the lesbian you're the same sex
you can share clothes that's one point
on my side I have a penis we can share
ten points and two testicles five points
each true your lezzy has a vag*na but so
do you it's redundant subtract the point
okay stop this is ridiculous yes it is
haha your lesbian is my pool cleaner yes
what about it well for one thing you're
fired
Frannie I don't know what I was thinking
I was wrong I'll never treat you that
way again that's a pretty nice apology
what's it worth Riley ten points
ha I can do better than that I'm sorry
for everything I've ever done anytime
anywhere yeah top that lesbian I wasn't
at the Pharaoh's tomb I just said that
to get close to you
she lied just to get you in the sack
isn't that just like a man I resent that
honey please I'll change I'll do
anything
so will I it was the longest moment of
my life except for that time I was
really hungover and waiting for the
liquor store to open you're smart and
funny and talented Riley Raleigh's none
of those things he needs me
thanks Franny I think I'll never take
you for granted again oh I hate to be a
fly in the ointment but there is a flood
problem the scores are tied um may I
suggest the tiebreaker
give him 15 points alright you're up hey
no props
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who says romances
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