i used to love the nightlife
and hang out in a bar
i used to hit the bottom
but then i hit a
[Music]
light up car a wheelchair paralyzed for
life got money through a settlement to
see me through the stripe my attitude is
different now the future's not so bleak
i even got a mansion and brought it for
free
[Music]
is
[Music]
[Applause]
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[Music]
hank is such an inspiration
over the years he's consumed so much
alcohol his liver is the size of a honey
baked ham but now that he is sober he's
turned his life into an incredible
success story tell us what you're doing
now hank i live in the bathroom at the
bus station they pay me a dollar a day
to clean the toilets
congratulations sick you know dreams do
come true
you're paying such close attention today
i'm so proud of you
riley
riley
don't be mad i can't stomach all that
psychobabble sobriety nonsense
you have to take it seriously alcohol
almost got you k*lled i know
i've got it completely under control
nearly almost some of the time it's like
sticking a loaded g*n up your behind but
for taking chances with our lives why
stop there
what the hell are you doing gambling
with your life doesn't bother you so
let's live dangerously rainy no
[Music]
[ __ ] creek i hope you're sitting down
i've got some good news how would you
like to sponsor another
substance-enhanced inebriator as part of
your own recovery doesn't that sound
wonderfullicious whoa debbie turn down
the cheerful meter i'm not sponsoring
some skid row loser i knew you'd be
thrilled he's been ordered by the court
to attend meetings now he says he didn't
know it was illegal to drive on the
sidewalk and over some teenagers
hang on somebody's at the door
oh i figured you'd be gentle and ready
to go somebody please smother her with a
pillow
i don't need some drunken lowlife
intruding on my busy day your busy day
you wake up at noon take another nap
then you get up and watch tv till you
fall asleep yep i've got it honed to
perfection and i don't want a smelly boo
sound messing it up
oh great now he's playing with my stereo
oh my god it's flim flaming
blue
when
you know from australia
doesn't bring this spell hello they were
only the hairiest band in rock and roll
history
reason i saw them on their
world tour we had to scrape
and it was the best concert i've ever
seen
[Music]
now he's in my living room oh what do i
say don't look all right god i'm so
nervous you're going to meet him not
marry him just go i'd like you to meet
somebody hi riley i'm phlegm you're my
biggest fan you've got all my albums
thanks for letting me stay in your house
oh god you're sure
oh yeah you're right he's he's in a
wheelchair well it's not contagious is
it see you at the meeting tonight
remember silver is as sober does
[Music]
okay so he didn't warm up to me right
away i couldn't blame him he's an
international superstar and i'm just a
local [ __ ] hell if i weren't me i
wouldn't like me either this is your
brain this is your brain on dr*gs
and this is your brain on dr*gs with
bacon and a side of hash browns
we have a special visitor with us
tonight one of the most celebrated
alcohol and drug abusers in the
entertainment industry and he's here to
say a few words
all right
can't you throw it any further than that
and then then i go and pick up the tv
and toilet right out the window
and it lands right on me mum
but i was thinking more along the lines
of why you want to give up drinking
oh oh yeah right
booze
it's dreadful stuff it's k*lled a lot of
me mates and if it hadn't k*lled most of
the brain cells i'd remember some of
them i want to become a sober
responsible member of society i swear
on
kylie
hey phlegm do it man
do it do it
[Applause]
that was the turning point in our
relationship nothing bonds men together
like doing something stupid but we had
to make one stop first after i saw you i
knew what i wanted to do with my life
what you wanted to be a musician
no i wanted to be a drunk ah the way you
could put it away it was awesome ever
than i am i owe to you what can i get
you anything on the house he's clean and
sober grizz a new man don't tell me they
got you too phlegm
fleming
sober
it is a black day for alcoholics
everywhere
riley and i are doing this together
are witnessing one of the greatest
moments in my life my idol thanking me
it was as good as sex not nearly as
sweaty so when he wanted to invite a few
friends over for some quiet conversation
how can i refuse
can you please turn the music down
lefty loosen up don't you remember how
to have fun are you saying a cup of
english breakfast tea and lava went
playing quietly in the background isn't
fun
i can't take it anymore
the constant noise 24 7. how can i be a
vulgar pig on just four hours of sleep
my work is suffering i keep my cause and
tension here we'll type the gig
somewhere else what are you ready no no
the guys are fine with it really
here's a bloody good idea why don't you
come with us you want me to hang out
with you of course robbie bear that
we're mates i'll let you in on a little
secret
[Music]
i must admit flem caught me off guard i
guess his desire to stay sober was just
a bunch of bs to get the cord off his
back i had to do something i just wasn't
sure what it's not easy working with an
ungrateful self-centered lying sop i've
got a coupon for my yogi first chakra
realignment would you like it is there a
reward from the cops for this kind of
information turn the famous drunken
bastard in
do i look pale i think i'm coming down
with something
okay they were no help so i went to see
the expert i must say this sponsorship
program seems to be working out
beautifully yes well uh there is one
small i knew from the beginning you were
the man to keep phlegm from slipping
back into an inebriational haze that's
what i wanted to talk to you about now
i'd like to ask you a big juicy whopper
of a favor we'd like you to go on
twitter with him phlegm still has a
serious what on tour with flynn fleming
private jets limos groupies backstage
oh what a wonderful time to enjoy
sobriety to the fullest
[Music]
it's weird to be back in australia
though i hope they've forgotten about
that wallaby business
[Music]
i know i know i should have told her the
truth but maybe i could help k*ll him if
i had more time
so quit busting my chops i was going on
tour with my favorite rock band what
would you do why do i have to come to
the concert there's a gym in this town i
really need to pump come on this is the
chance of a lifetime we get to live like
rock stars who the hell needs a gym
riley right meet the rest of the van
it's it's really them
and sticky
getting ready for the
show ah there's me lovely
listen
i miss you so much baby
all right fellas let's do it
whatever friggin city we're in let's do
a great show
yeah i'm the drummer right
on a one a two a three
like the recovering alcoholic still has
them recovering to do
[Music]
[Applause]
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[Applause]
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i know i'm supposed to be the watchdog
of his sobriety but look at him if there
was ever a man in control of the
situation it was swept
[Music]
[Music]
from then on it was just a blur i don't
know how many cities we played or miles
we put behind us
i knew i had to talk to flem i i just
needed the right movement oh how to
believe it a gym right here in this
little town phlegm
i hate to be a wet sober blanket but we
have to talk about your drinking what's
this there's nothing to worry about mate
listen everybody wants a piece of flip
booze it's me armor me fermented
fortification be honest riley don't you
miss it just a little bit yeah i guess i
do just
a lot
[Music]
you're not doing him any good and if
you're thinking of drinking you're not
doing yourself any good either you
better check in with your counselor god
i hate when you're right
who's your wrestler friend i thought you
were going to the gym no not the gym jim
this is jim
this is jim so you mean every time in
every town when you've come back all hot
and sweaty
you've oh hi debbie it's me yeah uh i
think i'm running into some trouble mate
the muse has struck
one came right up to me and bit me on
the ass i've written a new number one
about you riley
everything's finally back by
lots of people are sober but how many
songs written about them
[Music]
show me your vengeance
[Music]
it was then everything became clear
sobriety was overrated flynn still drank
he drank in his sleep and he was doing
just fine i could handle it i deserved
it
[Music]
[Music]
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will be
[Music]
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all right
that rock
hey hey if it isn't my best girl
[Music]
so you're back on the bottle way to go
riley ah don't be mad alcohol is our
friend you know what they don't talk
about at those meetings drinking is fun
i like getting loaded did you like
getting thrown in jail losing your job
being hit by a car becoming paralyzed
hey nothing's all good but if we were
for booze i wouldn't have had my
accident and i wouldn't have met phlegm
and you wouldn't be watching me leave
[Applause]
i've seen her happier hey riley we're
going to the pub for a few laughs you in
pub is my middle name
drunk
is good
[Music]
no
flem and i had shared a lot of
experiences lately most of them good it
was time for the bad
the dts delirium tremens from the latin
meaning crazy and trembling trying to
get the booze out of our system i was
never much good at latin well well well
aren't we big important rock stars now
hey flam what's that on your arms bugs
thousands of them growling all
get your g*n chris put me down please
i told you sobriety bring you nothing
but sorrow let me ease your pain
twelve-year-old scotch
[Music]
single malt
you can taste the feet
leave them alone
now this will help detoxify you it's all
natural no no
the octopus sucks the toxins from your
body through their tentacles what
sucking now you to relax and let the
octopi get sucked
oh
oh i feel so much better how's flynn not
so good he was full of toxins so far he
set three octopi into rehab yes that
room smells like the devil's ass
it's gonna be a great concert tomorrow
tomorrow let me see him i know i can
help yeah you've done a great job so far
stop it i know i can do this i just need
a chance
[Applause]
[Music]
listen to that it's the sweet sound of
riley failing do you always have to take
pleasure in other people's misfortunes
let me think
yep always
come on flynn it wasn't the booze that
made you who you are as great as you
were drunk you'll be even better sober
i'm not just your sponsor i'm a fan
i believe
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
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it's horrible
[Applause]
[Music]
i think it went very well yeah for the
swat team good old riley's k*lled his
career where the hell
is i need my sponsor
uh he went to see debbie he's probably
bragging to her right now
i'm yoko in a wheelchair you're being
too hard on yourself so he sounds a
little different he sounds like a cat
getting disemboweled with a salad fork i
can't do it i've got to get him drinking
again don't be ridiculous you saved his
life maybe rock and roll is not his bag
anymore why did you find him somewhere
else to play
we have a special treat for you today
timmy boys and girls put your hands
together for flynn fleming and the
sweater boys
hurry we're starting
all right ladies
[Music]
now this is real music
so timmy what do you think
you've been a bleeding paint never since
i've known you
royally my you covered for me drinking
when the do-gooders were crawling up my
ass you're okay i i've i've never felt
better i finally got my life under
control they tried get up your little
pansy no no
[Music]
i let you down what's better a drunken
superstar or a sober no offense has been
people people
i just got phlegm a new gig how does mrs
engel's fourth grade christmas magic
sound boys
the new shipment of tequila just coming
burns going in and burns going out
[Music]
who wants a tittle
[Music]
riley i truly appreciate your help but
now i've seen the world through a clear
head i realized
i like it better blurry no no no damn it
you can't give up screw the money the
fame and the music your life is what
matters
jesus h christ i'm touched i'm not used
to that kind of sincerity i hope i
remember it when i'm drunk come on grizz
let's go
[Music]
can you believe this noise is number one
it sounds like a number two to me
i'm so depressed oh honey you did your
best yeah but since when is your best
never been good enough for anything
when you're sober i realized you were
right i wanted my life back hell the
fellas wouldn't even let me cross the
street by myself when i was drinking now
my agents booked me into las vegas
things have never been better thanks to
you riley everything that happens from
now on it's all because of you
thanks mike
wow i am good
[Applause]
you hear him
me
responsible
for all this
rock and freaking road
[Music]
[Music]
[Applause]
you