10x12 - Homeschooling in the United States

[bunniefuu]

Welcome to "Last Week Tonight!"
I'm John Oliver!

Thank you so much for joining us.
It has been a busy week.

As of taping, Israel is, in the words
of its prime minister "at w*r",

FEMA ran a test

to see how effectively our phones
could scare the sh*t out of us,

and Kevin McCarthy was the victim
of the firstever intra-party coup

against a speaker of the House.

It left North Carolina
representative Patrick McHenry,

Patton Oswalt
as a ventriloquist dummy,

serving as temporary speaker.

And he seemed pretty angry
after McCarthy's ousting.

The chair declares the House in recess,
subject to the call of the chair.

That man is mad.
Which is only slightly undermined

by the fact that he's dressed
like a four-year-old

who's gonna f*ck up
the whole wedding.

Elections for the new speaker
will likely be held this week,

and so far,
the front runners seem to be

far-right Jim Jordan
or Steve Scalise,

who's been described
as "David Duke without the baggage".

And you know
who described him as that?

He did!

And to describe yourself
as David Duke,

the former Grand Wizard of the KKK,
without the baggage, is a choice.

Because that man is all baggage.

Without it, he's just the Crypt-Keeper
with a patchy bleach job.

It is pretty clear

that the Republican Party is being
controlled by the absolute extremes.

But not just nationally,
at the local level, too.

And to show you
just how bad it's gotten,

look at the mayoral race unfolding
in the city of Franklin, Tennessee,

where their current Republican mayor
is facing this woman, Gabrielle Hanson,

a real estate agent
and current alderman.

She's branded herself
as a hardcore MAGA candidate

and has posted photos of herself
at Mara-Lago.

And look how happy
she is there!

That's the face of someone
who just dined on a well-done steak

and read some classified documents
on the toilet.

Back in April, Hanson made news
for opposing the city's Pride event,

arguing that its participants
couldn't be trusted around children,

and offering this critique
of previous performers.

In one of the pictures of Jaidynn
Diore Fierce, one of the Miss Fits,

she's clad
in an Elmothemed drag outfit,

which I'm sure
to an underage individual,

this could create confusion in their
mind as to what's being represented.

Okay, but by that logic,

we should outlaw children from
walking around Times Square, too,

because seeing Olaf from "Frozen"
with his head popped off,

smoking a Black & Mild

is way more confusing
than someone wearing eyeshadow

and an Elmo-themed bodysuit.

Also, for the record, her name is
Jaidynn Diore Fierce, not "Dioree",

and Elmo is not remotely
her finest work.

Because she is constantly
serving cartoon looks.

Have you ever seen
a minion serve body?

Because you have now.

Hanson also tried to pressure
the Nashville airport

out of funding
a Juneteenth celebration,

saying "I don't want
my tax dollars or fees

off of plane tickets
going to radical agendas."

And with all due respect,
you're talking to an airport.

It doesn't care about you.
It doesn't care about anyone.

It's an airport.

The only food available is either
dill pickle almonds or brisket nachos,

with no middle ground.

It's acceptable to drink at 7:00 AM,
and they will sell your lost luggage.

The airport is a cruel,
unfeeling dimension,

uninterested
in your culture w*r bullshit.

Now, since then, Hanson seems
to have tried to broaden her base,

posting photos of diverse
groups of supporters,

including this one, labeled
as an "executive women's club"

who she said had provided
"invaluable support and encouragement"

with the hashtag "Vote Hanson".

But while that might seem like
an endorsement from those women,

watch what happened when a local
reporter tracked one of them down

and asked a pretty simple question.

Do you support Gabrielle Hanson?

I do not,
I actually do not know who that is.

After some on social media
noticed the pic

seemed to have been taken
at a restaurant in Chicago,

Hanson posted an update
on Facebook claiming

"These are all my friends
that have relocated to Nashville,

Brentwood, and Franklin
and they all support me."

The women say that's a lie.

Any message
you would have for her?

I would encourage her
to go make genuine friends

so she can take photos with those
folks if she's looking for supporters.

There's no need to comb pictures
on the internet to make up a story.

None of us need that.

Not only are those women
clearly not your friends,

you definitely just united them
against you.

I guarantee you, one of them
dropped your post in the group chat,

and the replies
are still going right now.

And the thing is, Hanson has been
caught lying about weird sh*t

a truly ridiculous amount of times.

Earlier this year,
during a podcast interview,

she claimed to have predicted the
Covenant School sh**ting in Nashville,

stating she had
a premonition about it,

chalking it up to what
"could have been a holy spirit thing".

What's more, she also claimed
that she'd told a police officer

about that premonition when he came
to her home over a different issue.

The problem is,
that same local reporter

tracked down
that officer's bodycam video,

which told a different story.

During that 23-minute video,

she never mentions anything remotely
like the Covenant School sh**ting.

No mention of a premonition,
no mention of an active sh**t,

no mention of the holy spirit.

And Hanson's fabrications have gone
even further in a talk radio interview

questioning how Melissa Joan Hart
happened to be near Covenant

at the time of the sh**ting to help
children who were trying to escape.

Maybe that's why Melissa Joan Hart
was there,

she must have known
it was going to happen, also.

Wait, what?!

Melissa Joan Hart

psychically knows when a school
sh**ting is about to happen?

That is not something an elected
official should say in an interview,

it's what a Disney Channel
exec probably screamed in 2002

after inhaling
a metric ton of cocaine.

And before we go any further,

let's take a moment to acknowledge
that reporter, Phil Williams.

Because he's been
all over this story,

and we've featured his work
on this show a bunch in the past.

If you are a politician in Tennessee,
Phil has his foot on your g*dd*mn neck.

His official NewsChannel 5 bio

features a quote
from a Nashville political strategist,

saying, "If the press calls,
call your PR person.

If Phil Williams calls, call your
lawyer because you are in trouble."

This is a bad, bad man. You do
not f*ck around with Phil Williams.

And it seems Gabrielle Hanson
is currently in her "finding out" era

when it comes
to her dealings with him,

because Phil has uncovered so much
weird new context around her life.

Remember her bullshit outrage
over the local Pride event?

Phil discovered something
that her husband once did

that suggests
a hell of a double standard.

Children seeing images
that they could not unsee

was why the Franklin alderman said
she tried to block a Pride celebration

at a Franklin park,

saying in a podcast interview,
it was a question of basic morality.

Yet where was her morality
during Chicago's 2008 Pride parade

before the Hansons
moved to Tennessee?

At the time, Tom Hanson was running
a Republican campaign for Congress

and organizers agreed to let him in.

He told the local LGBTQ
newspaper, quote,

"So, it just came to me. I said, 'Maybe
I'll wear an American flag Speedo.'

And my wife said,
'If you do that, I'll hold you to it.'"

Magnificent.
So, just to recap: snatched Elmo?

Irreparably harmful to children.

Star-spangled ballbag here?

That's apparently
completely fine with her!

Also, nd I'm not here to police
anyone else's drag but, is he tucked?

Could just have been cold!

It was June, though.

But anyway,
if all that wasn't enough,

just this week, Hanson
was caught up in yet another scandal,

this time,
involving an eye-catching group

that showed up to support
and protect her at a candidate forum.

The man on the left
is Sean Kauffmann,

who has been described
by the StopAntisemitism watchdog group

as, quote, "a disturbed neo-n*zi
and Holocaust denier

with a documented history of v*olence
and a massive cache of firearms".

Then there's Brad Lewis.

He's the operator of the Lewis Country
Store on the far west side of Nashville,

a store known
for its extreme rightwing messaging.

When the store recently
went on the market,

Gabrielle Hanson was the
real estate agent who got the listing.

A recent investigation
by the Southern Poverty Law Center

revealed how the second floor
of the store

was being used
as a white nationalist fight club.

Lewis responded in a post on Telegram,
calling himself

an "actual literal n*zi".

Ms. Hanson, the people you're with had
described themselves as literal Nazis.

Is this the type of people
you should be associating with?

They said they're literal Nazis.

Phil Williams is just wrecking her,

waving a cell phone
in Hanson's face and asking

"So, you hang out
with Nazis or what?"

and doing it loud enough
for the whole row to hear.

Also, what on Earth did that cursed
Zillow listing look like?

"Great opportunity
to own-slashoperate your business

in this income-generating, threeunit
mixed-use white supremacist building.

First floor is a store
with terrible vibes,

and the second floor unit
is a neo-n*zi fight club.

Sold as is."

Hanson denies engaging
that group as security,

despite the fact that she walked into
that meeting with a Holocaust denier,

while her husband was escorted in by
a guy with a Proud Boys face tattoo.

And she's tried to deflect criticism

over the fact that she took
a literal n*zi's real estate listing,

but, even in doing so,
made some bold choices.

If you based me on all the clients
that I'm representing currently,

I would be a white supremacist,
neo-n*zi,

I would be a lesbian like my one
client, and I would be Black, too.

That is who I would be

if you're gonna blame me
for the clients that I represent,

because those are the clients at this
very moment that I'm representing.

And I would probably
be a Muslim jihadist as well

because I have
a Middle Eastern client, too.

Gabs, but you did just imply one
of your clients was a "Muslim jihadist"

simply based on the fact
that they are Middle Eastern,

so I'd say you're probably more
of a white supremacist neo-n*zi

than you are lesbian or Black.

In a world that makes sense,
this woman would obviously

have withdrawn
from this mayoral race in shame.

But she still has supporters, there
are lawn signs up for her in Franklin.

And there is a real chance
that she could still win this election.

While her numerous scandals are
almost cartoonish in their extremity,

her behavior is entirely emblematic
of Republican politics

from the local level
all the way up to the top,

where, if we learned
anything this week,

it's that far-right Republicans maintain
a vice-like grip over the entire party.

And it frankly seems like our best bet
at exposing them going forward

might be if we can somehow
get more reporters

to take a page
from Nashville's nosiest bitch.

And now, this.

And Now:

People on TV Share Increasingly
Unhinged Conspiracy Theories

About Taylor Swift.

The big question is, are Taylor Swift
and Travis Kelce dating?

- Is that the big question?
- It's been on everybody's mind.

It just makes you think,
is there something else going on?

Is Taylor teaming up with the NFL?
Something. I don't know.

You're investigating.

There's so many conspiracy theories
about this.

Is anything really a coincidence
these days?

Is anything accidental?
I say where there is smoke, there's fire.

There's a conspiracy
involved here.

Our floor director Megan thinks
that this is all a cover-up

to conceal Taylor's true boyfriend,
who she wants to keep private.

Travis is doing Taylor a solid.

The NFL was struggling
to get women to watch football.

And there is a part of me
that's like "Huh".

We're getting ready
for Taylor Swift's 1989 re-release.

The theme for this album
is the color red.

Travis Kelce plays for the Chiefs.
They are a big red team.

He was also born in 1989.
This is a promotional tool, Travis!

So, Taylor Swift
is from Philadelphia originally.

That maybe she's actually
trying to mess Travis Kelce up.

You think it's sabotage?

She knows that they're going
to get to the Super Bowl.

And the theory is, she's going
to eventually ghost him at that point,

and then he's going to play
not so good.

It rose all the way
to the White House, though.

The White House press secretary was
even asked about the potential romance.

Does President Biden think it's real?

In the vernacular
of the National Security Council,

I can neither confirm
or deny those reports.

Moving on.

Our main story tonight
concerns school.

For some, it's the place to make
friends and enjoy first crushes,

while for others,
and I'm not naming names, it's not.

It's different.

Specifically, we're gonna talk
about homeschooling.

During the pandemic, many parents
were suddenly forced to do it,

and while some struggled, others,
like this family, absolutely thrived.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G,

H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P,

Q, R, S, T, U, V,

W, X, Y, and Z.

Now you know your ABCs.

That is clearly excellent,
but it's also a pretty mean way

to make other parents
look like total sh*t.

Because that is significantly better

than anything I did with my kids
during the pandemic,

it was much less singing
certified alphabet bangers

and much more "hiding in the closet,
praying they would not find me".

Also, quick shoutout to the baby
on the counter living her best life.

She has no idea what's going on,

but yet there she is
in the center of it all

like Mariah Carey
on a New Year's broadcast.

That family, like many,
sent their kids back to school.

But for some, homeschooling
isn't just a pandemic-era necessity,

it's a way of life.

And you may have heard
a stereotype of homeschoolers

being Christian conservatives

who object to what kids learn
in public school environments.

And I admit,
those people do exist.

Take this man, who offers
this pretty shaky rationalization

for pulling his kid out of school.

I think the type of content on what
they're teaching about sex or a**l sex,

that my third-grade daughter
should not be in a classroom

where a teacher or someone else
is teaching her about that.

And that was your experience
in school?

Through friends in other spots
that had been kids at those ages,

'cause mine was only in first grade
when we pulled her.

That sounds like total bullshit.

Although I guess I do basically agree
with him there,

things that are not happening
should continue not to happen.

But the truth is,
the homeschooling community

is much broader
than just right-wing parents

afraid of hypothetical
third grade lube demonstrations.

By one estimate, there are now
around two million children

being homeschooled in this country,

and parents can choose
that for all sorts of reasons.

Maybe their kids have social
or health problems,

or disabilities
that aren't being accommodated.

Maybe they're families with legitimate
fears about school safety,

or who are in the m*llitary
and move around a lot.

And there's also a growing
number of Black parents

opting to homeschool
due to whitewashed curriculums

and zero-tolerance policies
in schools

that disproportionately criminalize
their kids at an early age.

So, there are lots of reasons
to do it.

And the fact is, for some kids,

getting to be homeschooled
can be genuinely transformative.

At 15, Victoria asked her mom, Bernita,
to take her out of Detroit schools.

She says she was being bullied
relentlessly for her appearance,

and it didn't seem
like her administrators cared.

It made me not want
to ask questions,

or not want
to ask specific questions

because I'm like,
they're gonna call me dumb.

When you transitioned
to homeschooling,

how did you feel
about yourself?

I felt more confident.

It was kind of like a sunshine,
like the clouds opening a little bit.

That's great! That is very nice.

And I know that's not something
you usually hear me say

after a clip on this show.

It's usually a variation of
"That's horrible", "Heartbreaking"

or "Shut the f*ck up you baby
bitch lawn dart".

So, frankly,
this is a welcome change of pace.

The point is: the ceiling of how good
homeschooling can be

is admittedly very high.

But the floor of how bad it can get
is basically nonexistent.

Because to an extent that you may not
realize, in many parts of the country,

homeschooling is unregulated
which can result in enormous damage.

So, given that, tonight,
let's take a look at homeschooling.

There is a lot we don't know
about homeschooled kids,

from exactly how many there are,
to what they are learning.

When I said "there are
around two million" of them,

the reason that's an estimate
is that, depending on the state,

homeschool families might not have
to report what they are doing at all.

In these 26 states, parents simply
have to file a notice once a year

with officials to let them know that
they are homeschooling their child.

In these 13,
they only have to file a notice once,

with no requirement
to check in ever again.

And in the remaining 11, they
don't have to notify anyone at all.

And when it comes
to the education itself,

filing a notice is typically
where supervision stops,

as in most states,
there is no oversight,

and no evaluation
by anyone of the academic program

and of students' progress.

And homeschooling advocates will
tell you that that is not a concern,

and that parents will simply come up
with all sorts of innovative ways

to teach their kids.

Here is one parent explaining
how he taught his kids science.

I can't tell you how many times,
you know, in my home,

at our kitchen table we've dissected
sheep eyeballs or frogs.

Kitchens are great labs
for this kind of thing.

Where does somebody get
a sheep eyeball?

John, you can just Google
"sheep eyeball for homeschoolers".

- I didn't know that.
- 'Cause lots of people, absolutely.

First, are kitchens the best lab
for this kind of thing?

I think probably labs are the best lab
for this kind of thing.

I'm just saying, maybe
don't go dissecting sheep eyeballs

in the same place
where you cut olives for salad.

Do not Google "sheep eyeballs",
despite what that man just said.

I did it, and I'm not even gonna
show you the result unblurred

because it is too nauseating.

Suffice to say it looks like what would
happen if an oyster had a butthole.

But while that man was clearly
willing to go to impressive lengths

for at-home science lessons,
not everyone has the time

or the resources to develop
a curriculum from scratch.

That is why there are big
publishers who offer materials

specifically tailored
to homeschoolers.

Much of that market is dominated by
these 3 Christian textbook publishers

who promise learning
through a biblical filter.

And look,
it is absolutely a parent's right

to educate their child
with religion if they so choose.

But the quality of some
of these books can be troubling.

For instance,
one current Abeka history book

says that "The beginning
of the 20th century

witnessed a cultural
breakdown that threatened

to destroy the very roots
of western civilization.

The cause of this dissolution

was an idea or philosophy
known as liberalism."

A workbook from ACE celebrates
the Confederate General Robert E. Lee

as "a devoted Christian

who practiced his Christianity
in all his dealings with others"

And a science book
from Bob Jones University claims that

"Biblical and scientific evidence
tends to support the idea

that men and dinosaurs
existed at the same time."

And if you're wondering
what that would look like,

ACE actually had a workbook
featuring this rendering,

implying that not only did men
and dinosaurs exist at the same time,

but they were totally cool
with each other.

"Hank, great tucked-in shirt!
Do you see that dinosaur over there?"

"Sure do, Bob, love those jeans,
by the way. Should we run?"

"No way, these dinos are chill,
let's keep whacking these leaves

with that one sword
Kn*fe that you brought."

While all of that is pretty troubling,
the truth is, in many states,

the rules and oversight
can be so lax,

parents don't ultimately have
to teach their kids anything at all.

Just watch as this former homeschool
student breaks down her daily schedule.

This is my list of assignments.

We've got the date at the top.
I would have been 12.

First, we've got classical music,

which was just turning
on classical music in the morning

so that everyone could hear it.

We've got Bible listening.
We've got handwriting and math.

That's fairly normal.
We've got memorizing the Bible.

We've got memorizing poetry.
The poetry was mostly hymns.

We've got exercise.
That's good.

It was usually
just walking around the block.

And then the whole
entire rest of the list

is chores and cleaning tasks.

It's true! Most of her lessons
just involved chores.

And just look at that list!
That is a lot of cleaning demands!

Who was her parent?
This guy?

I mean, don't get me wrong,
he's an absolute zaddy.

Would, will,
and I'll take seconds.

But as hot as he makes
doing chores seem,

it's not an adequate alternative
to education, is it?

Although I will say,
even that is a preferable alternative

to the single worst homeschool
curriculum that we found,

whose creators excitedly
promoted it on a podcast.

We are so deeply invested

into making sure that that child
becomes a wonderful n*zi,

and by homeschooling
we're going to get that done.

That is terrifying!

You never want to hear a mother
lovingly utter the sentence

"My kid's a wonderful n*zi",

outside of maybe if they're praising
their son's performance

as Rolf in "The Sound of Music."

And even then,
just say "wonderful Rolf".

What's wrong with you?

That woman and her husband
launched their own online community,

Dissident Homeschool, in 2021,
after she had a, quote, "rough time"

"finding n*zi-approved school material
for her homeschool children."

And you know what? Good!

That probably
shouldn't be an easy Google.

In fact, if you search for that,
it should probably autocorrect to

"Did you mean
'How do I take myself to jail?'"

At one point, Dissident Homeschool
had nearly 2,500 subscribers

and included ideas
like handwriting exercises

consisting of "writing out
quotes from Adolf h*tler."

Which we can all agree is appalling.
Handwriting exercises?

That is just cruel.

They should be working
on their keyboard skills,

through games like "Mavis Beacon
Teaches the Final Solution."

Although, not that,
don't actually do that, that is awful.

The channel also posted tips
ensuring that their parents

were in "full compliance
with the law"

so that "the state"
wouldn't interfere.

But as you have already seen,
in most states,

they don't have
much to worry about there.

When it comes to homeschooling,
basically, anything goes.

So, how the f*ck is that the case?

In large part, it's thanks to a very
powerful homeschooling lobby,

whose most prominent player

is the Home School Legal Defense
Association or HSLDA.

Here is where
I will concede some ground

because it grew out of an environment
that was, in many places,

overly restrictive of homeschooling,

with some states and local school
districts banning it entirely.

In Texas, in the 1980s, homeschooling
families were prosecuted.

But a turning point
came after several Texas families

filed a class-action suit against their
school districts, and ultimately won.

And around that same time,
the HSLDA was formed,

with the aim of expanding the rights
of homeschoolers in every state.

And from the very beginning,

it had a strong evangelical,
conservative outlook.

Its founding president
and chairman, Michael Farris,

has referred to public schools
as a "godless monstrosity."

And here he is back in 2004,
speaking to the Christian coalition,

and describing his long-term hopes
for the next generation.

Today, it is not preposterous
to recognize what's going on,

the promotion of h*m*,

the promotion of other kinds of things
that you heard from Walter Jones,

and you've heard
many other times,

is a deplorable reality
that we cannot countenance.

I can't wait for the day
when our young people

vanquish the enemy by a five-four
vote reversing Roe versus Wade.

And where we vanquish
the specter of same-sex marriage.

That's the standard of victory.

Okay, there is a lot that is hard
to take in that clip,

that that's his wish list,
that he's already gotten half of it,

and that he's saying
"vanquish the enemy,"

despite looking
less like a warrior

and more like your tax accountant's
tax accountant's assistant.

Over the years, the HSLDA
has lobbied extensively,

from a hard-right perspective,

on issues that have nothing to do
with homeschooling,

opposing everything from vaccine
mandates to same-sex marriage.

But it speaks to how significant
a force it is

that even some parents who
are uneasy with its political leanings

feel that they have no choice
but to be members.

Here is one mom,
who started a homeschooling group

to offer an alternative to what she
saw as a whitewashed curriculum,

talking about her relationship
to the HSLDA.

Whenever there's a thr*at
in any particular state

to their right to homeschool,
you will see us come together.

It may not, we're not gonna
stay together, but we will band up

because we all
need our right to homeschool.

That's the nuanced aspect
of being in the homeschool world.

The people that you have
to work with

in order to maintain
what you hold dear

are also the people
who crush you.

It's true. The HSLDA
have made themselves so powerful,

many parents keep working
with them

even if they don't agree
with everything they stand for.

It's a dilemma otherwise known
as "The Tom Cruise Conundrum."

On the one hand,
a billion dollars at the box office.

On the other, a billion-year
contract to an alien mafia.

It's tricky, right? It's tricky.
What's a bunch of young hots to do?

Plus, for what it's worth, the HSLDA,
much like Tom Cruise,

will probably never die.

As a lobbying group,
it's been astonishingly successful.

In four decades,

its efforts have been credited
with rolling back existing laws

governing homeschooling
in state after state.

And the argument that it will always
make against any regulation

is you're just punishing
all the parents doing things right,

to address a handful
who are doing it wrong.

And in theory, sure.

But when you've got
some parents

running The Homeschool
Institute of Dishwashing

and others
running 'Lil Nazis "R" Us,

it seems maybe the reins
have gotten a little loose.

And the lack of regulation here
has serious consequences,

and not just regarding
quality of education.

And fair warning, this is where
this story gets quite a bit darker.

More than two million children
are being homeschooled in the U.S.,

many of them living in states
that have little or no regulations,

making it easy for abusive parents
to hide behind the system.

These are the faces of just some
of the homeschooled children

who've d*ed as a result
of abuse and neglect.

Susanna Grubbs
was homeschooled in Missouri.

She tells us, the discipline she
received was anything but gentle.

I think that, in a lot of ways, me and
my siblings fell through the cracks.

Because, I mean, with my mom's
disciplinary techniques,

and my mom's educational neglect.

It's terrible that it has happened
and it keeps happening.

And nobody wants to stop it
because parental rights

are so paramount
to anything else in this country.

Exactly.
And that is massively dangerous.

Because deregulating homeschooling

doesn't eliminate safeguards
against parents who are bad teachers,

it also eliminates them
against parents who are bad people.

For all the HSLDA's talk
of "parental rights,"

it's worth remembering,
Elon Musk is a parent.

OJ Simpson is a parent.

Darth Vader is such a parent he made it
part of his fancy name change.

The point is, having a child does
not inherently make you virtuous.

And one of the key problems here is,
child welfare laws

were written before homeschooling
was legal in all 50 states.

So, they rely heavily on the premise
that a child is going to be in school

and seen by other adults,
as this DA explains.

A lot of child abuse gets
reported through our schools.

Teachers and school administrators
are mandated reporters.

So, you know, if a child comes to
school with bruises or emaciated,

that is a very common way that
it gets reported.

Right. Because the fact is, teachers
serve multiple functions at school

in addition to education:
they watch out for signs of abuse,

they chaperone school events,

and they pretend not to know
why Ellie won't sit next to Rachel,

Rachel won't sit next to Kelsey,
Kelsey's not talking to Ethan

even though Ethan's having a birthday
party with Kelsey's brother, Bryce,

who just happens to be Rachel's
boyfriend since last period.

And they do all of that while also
trying to teach long division.

Teachers are superheroes who
should make a million dollars a year.

So, you can probably see,

the fact that it is possible
to pull a kid out of school,

with no questions
asked or follow-ups allowed,

could easily be exploited
by abusive parents,

especially as most states don't screen
homeschool parents for red flags.

"48 states have
no background-check process

for parents who choose
to homeschool."

Even if you have a prior conviction
of a crime against a child,

you can homeschool them.

A study done in Connecticut
found that of the 380 students

withdrawn in six districts
to be homeschooled,


that were the subject

of at least one prior report
of suspected abuse or neglect.

And yet, despite this,
at every turn,

HSLDA has vigorously fought efforts
to put any guardrails in place.

Here is their then-president,
in 2015,

explaining why they fight
all regulations,

even ones explicitly designed
to prevent child abuse.

Child abuse is a parental issue,
isn't it?

Any child, whether they be a
non-homeschool child, or a parent,

whether they be a homeschool parent,
they can abuse their children.

So, why should we for a few inv*de
all of the other innocent parents?

That's prior restraint.
It's unconstitutional. Un-American.

There some categories of regulations
around homeschooling

that you would support

that you don't think of
as an invasion or a takeover?

No, not any.

It is bad enough that he's arguing
for a total lack of regulation there,

but the fact that he openly
licks the corners of his mouth

before doing so somehow
makes it worse.

He looks like a cat
went to a Zoltar machine

and made a wish
to be Andy Griffith.

The HSLDA views any oversight
whatsoever as an att*ck,

even offering members a 24-hour hotline
in case of a visit from the state.

Here is the sister
of that woman you saw earlier,

explaining how they would practice
what to do

if Child Protective Services
showed up on their doorstep.

The parent
would lock the front door,

would call the Home School Legal
Defense Association on the phone,

hand the phone
out the kitchen window,

and us kids were supposed
to hide in the basement.

We actually did drills
on this stuff, folks.

We did drills in case someone ever
decided to check in on our well-being.

Holy sh*t, that is dark.

Drills are meant for practicing
what to do to avoid getting hurt,

not to avoid getting help.

It's why fire alarms say
"pull here in case of emergency"

and not "snitches get stitches."

And the thing is, because
of its committed membership,

the HSLDA has the power to stop
any kind of oversight in its tracks.

Take Raylee's Law, named after
an eight-year-old girl in West Virginia

whose father pulled her out of school
after he was reported for abuse.

She d*ed of neglect
only a few weeks later.

Eventually, legislators proposed a law

that would prevent parents
from withdrawing a child from school

when there is a pending child abuse
or neglect investigation

or when a parent has been convicted
of domestic v*olence,

child abuse, or neglect.

And it seems like that law
would be easy to get passed, right?

But as the legislator who proposed it
found out, not so much.

There are groups I want to say there's
like this homeschool defense fund group

that came out against Raylee's Law.

- The HSLDA?
- That's it.

And there were quotes
about how awful this bill was

and it's an att*ck
on homeschooling

and they want
to move the goal post.

That's what you do in politics,
but I thought, maybe,

protecting children,
you wouldn't go about that.

Right, and that seems
pretty reasonable.

And if the HSLDA
thinks trying to protect kids

from being taken out of school
by people convicted of child abuse

is an att*ck on homeschooling,

they're saying quite a bit about what
they believe homeschooling to be.

If Chili's responded
to a health inspector

writing their workers up
for pissing in the skillet queso with

"This is an att*ck
on everything Chili's stands for.

Don't punish the majority
of our staff for the minority

who piss and sh*t in our
Presidente Margaritas,"

you'd have some questions about
what Chili's thinks it stands for.

And for the record,
that man's bill never passed.

And that story's been repeated
in state after state after state.

As one legislative aide who's gone
up against the HSLDA has said

"I've never seen a lobby
more powerful and scary".

And a legislator in Arkansas
who tangled with them says

"They told me the only legislation
they wanted was what Alaska had,

which was nothing."

At a certain point,
it starts to feel like the HSLDA

is basically the homeschooling
equivalent of the NRA,

an extremely
powerful organization

that, while it represents
a large number of people,

pursues an outermost-fringe
version of their agenda.

So, where do we go from here?

In a perfect world,
we'd make sure that homeschooled kids

were both safe and actually
receiving a functional education.

There are smaller organizations
like this one,

pushing for those sort of changes.

But at the barest minimum,
we could require, in all 50 states,

to register
a child as homeschooled,

so there's at least
a record that they exist.

That is how low the bar is here,
at the Earth's core,

which I'm sure, according to at least
one homeschooling textbook,

is somewhere between soil
and the fiery bowels of Hell.

But beyond that, we could pass
some basic child safety protections

to ensure parents
can't pull their kids out of school

to escape scrutiny for abuse.

A few years ago, to its credit,
Georgia passed a law

that requires parents who pull kids
out of school for no reason

to send documentation
within 45 days

that they are homeschooling
their child,

or proof of attendance
at another school.

If they don't do that, they're subject
to a follow-up from the state.

Even this Republican Georgia state rep
acknowledges that it was needed.

If the people in your world that you
believe are most protective of you

are torturing you or abusing you,
who's gonna look out for you?

I don't like government intervention
in a lot of things,

but the government's
the only person I know

of that can intervene
in this kind of case to save a child.

Yeah, he's right.
He's just completely right.

And agreeing with a staunch
Republican Georgia state rep

wasn't something I had
on my 2023 bingo card.

I've almost
got a full bingo by the way,

I'm just waiting on you know
who to you know what.

To be clear, I share his ambivalence
about government intervention here.

Involving social services and
the government in personal situations

poses a risk, especially to those who
aren't wealthy and who aren't white.

I don't love the idea

of giving the state room
to poke around in people's lives,

or that I think our child protective
services system is flawless, no notes.

We're almost definitely gonna be doing
a main story on CPS one day.

But it does seem like giving parents

a "get out of all scrutiny free,
no questions asked" card

just isn't the answer here.

Because being a parent doesn't
automatically make someone moral.

And being with a parent doesn't
automatically make a child safe.

And the truth is, a few extra security
measures would not hurt

the many parents who homeschool
their children responsibly,

but they'd definitely safeguard against
those who use "personal liberty"

as an excuse to neglect
or harm their kids.

The HSLDA
can say all that it wants

that it doesn't support
Nazis or child abusers,

but the policies that it relentlessly
pushes for allow them to thrive.

And basic reforms here
shouldn't be remotely controversial,

because after all,
this is about child welfare.

This isn't rocket science.
It's not home sheep-eye dissection.

Don't Google it, by the way,
I cannot emphasize that enough.

All of this is basic common sense.
And now, this.

And Now:

The Surprising Importance
of Emojis on "Divorce Court".

I had to have somebody explain
it to me because I didn't get it…

Is a conversation has occurred
through emoji and GIF

in which
you posted a waterfall,

which means you're in a state
of sexual excitation.

Your Honor,
she's a talented surfer

who sends my husband
eggplant emojis.

Peach emojis!

Were you sending
water splashing emojis?

- To your ex?
- Yes, he was.

Did you send a heart-kissing emoji
to your "cousin?"

Why would she send you cucumber
and eggplant emojis?

- She has a bit of sense of humor.
- That ain't funny.

When you saw the photo,

did you think it was appropriate
to leave a drooling face emoji?

And why was she saved
in your phone as the blueberry?

Some… she sweet.

So, she cute and sweet.
So, you saved it as a blueberry.

It was just the first thing
that popped in my mind.

Found texts to a guy
with a smiley face

with the mouth wide open
and a purple thing, like a…

I mean, smoking g*n.

That's a smoking g*n.

That's our show!
See you next week, good night!