05x10 - Diamonds Are Made to Sparkle

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola...

- Quarter one profits are up.
- [CHEERING]

We even have companies sniffing
around about buying us,

so, everybody, great job.

Somebody wants to buy us?

So then we won't have to work here?

But we still get money?

Our parents founded this company.

It's part of who we are.

Are we gonna throw all that
away for a few dollars?

I vote yes.

Seconded.

I am sorry to do this, Mr. Wheeler,

but if the offer is fair,
I vote to sell.

You got to be kidding me.

You know I do not kid.

You didn't choose this place
any more than we did.

Dad d*ed and you got stuck with it.

This is the way out.

Most CEOs get prison time.
You're just getting money.

It won't be easy for me
to say goodbye to this place.

But I'll do it if it
means I get to watch

the people I love spread their wings.

Wait a minute.

You're not getting out of
here without a Doug hug.

_

- Morning, honey.
- Good morning.

Whoa. I'm going to work,
not plowing the back 40.

You're going to need your strength

for your battle with the Japanese.

It's not a battle, it's a negotiation.

With the Japanese.

Ah-ah, that is not the tie I set out.

It really didn't go with the shirt.

But it is lucky.

You wore it the day
of your heart att*ck.

That tie tried to k*ll me.

But you lived and you met me.

And every day since has been a blessing.

Well, that's nice.

All right, I'll change after I finish

[SOUTHERN ACCENT]: these here vittles.

No, no, Ronke,
I am embarrassed to tell you

how much money our
family will soon have.

But you may guess if you would like.

Who is she talking to?

One of my aunties.

Higher.

Higher.

That is a crazy number.

Higher.

She knows it's not a done deal, right?

I told her not to tell anyone.

I told you not to tell anyone.

Yes, tell everyone!

["IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING]

_

Okay,
Tokyo should be calling any minute.

All right!

[SPEAKS JAPANESE] _

Ooh, look who did his homework.

I watch a lot of anime.

I love the initiative,

but it'll just be me
and Goodwin on the call.

Okay, but Goodwin's gonna do
most of the talking, right?

Hey, I had three breakfasts
this morning. I'm ready.

Are you?

Yes.

- Oh, goodness.
- [OTHERS GROANING]

Hey, what the hell is going on?

Well, you really didn't want to sell,

so we're worried that
when the time comes,

you won't be able to...

take ol' MaxDot
behind the barn and sh**t her.

Whereas, I am positive
this is the right decision.

I do not even have to
take her behind the barn,

I will sh**t her right here.

Let's remember who got us
in this position.

This place was built on my blood,
sweat and tears.

See? You cry.

I think you are a k*ller, Mr. Wheeler.

And your w*apon of choice is kindness.

All right, how's this for kindness?

Everybody, get the hell out.

Not kind at all, sir.

Before we go,

can we just take a moment to note

that this could be our
last board meeting?

What are you doing?

I'm taking mental pictures.

It is going to be strange
not seeing you all every day.

And you every other day, Douglas.

You know what? Until we're done,
I'll come in more often.

This morning,
I was thinking about my first day

on the factory floor.

I still remember what your mother said,

"There are cameras everywhere."

- [PHONE RINGING]
- All right, that's them.

You got this, Goodwin,
we believe in you.

Sayonara. That's "goodbye" in Japanese.

You can use that. I'm leaving.

_

ABISHOLA: Dele!

You're going to be late!

Is there a Jonah in our family?

If it is a name from the Bible,

then we have it in our family.

He messaged me on Instagram.
He heard we were rich.

Oh, no.

That is good. Word is spreading.

He wants us to send him a Peloton.

What is that? Is it expensive?
Send him two.

"Though we have never met,

"I am excited to share in
our family's good fortune.

I also accept cash or Zelle."

This is perfect.

Once we send the Pelotons, all of Lagos

will be talking about us.

They will build a statue in our honor.

That we will pay for.

Mummy, maybe we should not be
flaunting our wealth so much.

Oh, nonsense.
Diamonds are made to sparkle.

Are you not worried all this bragging

will bring about bad juju?

I hope it does.

Remember, Dele,
you have not really made it

until someone has put a curse on you.

- I can't wait.
- Mm.

I have never been one to show off.

That is not true.

As a baby, I covered you with gold.

You were weighed down so much,

you could barely take your first steps.

It wouldn't hurt to get
a few new things, Mom.

You deserve it.

I'll think about it.

And maybe I can get some new clothes?

No.

We are rich, not you.

_

Your mother is right.

You should refresh your wardrobe.

At least change your hair.

What is wrong with my hair?

Leave it alone.

I will not.

Your hair is cooler than hers,
and you are a senior citizen.

I don't slap like one.

I do not want to change.

I like who I am.

Yes, but some of us
have to be seen with you.

Now you are the golden goose,
it is time for you to honk.

Doesn't the Bible say
a person shouldn't be too proud?

Nigerians ignore that part.

You can't piecemeal the word of God.

That was not God, that was King James.

And he was a white man.

I've always admired your frames.

Maybe I can buy some cool sunglasses.

You take my look, I take your life.

_

Ugh, this is taking forever.

It's like waiting for a baby to be born.

A baby made of money.

You know, I keep texting Bob,
but I haven't heard anything.

Text Kofo. He's in there.

- [PHONE BUZZES]
- Ooh! It's Bob.

He put a thumbs-up on
"Should I stop bothering you?"

What's going on? Are they close?

Is there a money baby?

It is hard to say.
The back of Mr. Wheeler's neck is red.

But that could mean
he's angry or excited.

Or sunburnt.

Well, go back in there
and get some answers.

Come on, man! We're freakin' out!

I can't. I already brought them coffee,

then came back to warm up their coffee,

and then cleared the coffee.

Here. Couple of yogurts

for our hungry negotiators.

Ah, this is good.

I can linger as they
mix in their berries.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

- It's gonna be fine.
- It's gonna be fine.

- Yeah, it's gonna be great.
- Good.

You know, I should find a girlfriend

before we get our buyout checks.

Why do you say that?

I want her to love Doug for Doug.

I don't know,
I think money takes the pressure off.

How so?

Well, then you know why she's with you.

For the money.

Yeah. There's a real honesty there.

_

Listen, we built this company
on the backs of our employees.

We're not about to fire them.

TORANAGA [OVER SPEAKER]: That is okay.
We will do it for you.

It's a nonstarter, Toranaga-san.

Do not call me that.

I'm sorry. I was told
"san" is a term of respect.

Damn Douglas.

We cannot remove the
employee retention clause.

Ah, we understand. You want more money.

No, what we want

is to protect our employees.

I can offer you more money.

[KNOCKING]

How's it going?

- I have more yogurt.
- And, Bob,

remember to smile.

People can hear a frowny voice.

_

You're right, Mummy.
I cannot feel my toes,

but I look like a movie star.

Yes, the superrich
can never feel their toes.

Hey.

Hello, Bob.

Why you walking funny?
Did you step in something?

Look at her feet, you fool.

Oh, new shoes?

They are not just shoes,
they are a lifestyle.

And I have found a lake
house for you to purchase.

We're not buying a house.

Abishola got something.

Why can't I?

Let's just wait until
the sale is finalized

before we get carried away.

I understand.

Get it done by Sunday.
There is an open house.

Yeah, I'll tell 'em
we need their best and final offer

because my mother-in-law
has an itchy trigger finger.

Thank you.

Is everything okay with the deal?

Uh, it'll probably be fine.

What do you mean "probably"?

We're just a little far
apart on a couple of issues.

Which issues?

I don't know, all of them.

But they are willing to budge?

Eh.

But you are willing to budge?

- Eh.
- [SIGHS]

Oluwa mi o.

I knew I should not
have bought these shoes.

Oh, honey,

it's fine. You never spoil yourself.

That is what the devil
was whispering to me

when I spent the thousand dollars.

On one pair of shoes?

That you deserve.

I need to get these things off my feet.

Relax, just don't buy a house, okay?

Dennis has already
responded to my email.

What is done is done.

_

Oh, God.

It must be going badly if you're having

a full-fat Coke.

I also had two bags of pork rinds.

Oh, God.

They want to fire all the employees.

Oh, that is ruthless.

How much are they offering?

If I tell you, you will need
a full-fat Coke of your own.

But it does not matter.
We're not taking the deal.

Well, we can't.
We've got to protect our people.

That is what Mr. Wheeler said.

Yeah, of course he did.

I may have said it first.

What? You were our k*ller.

Your k*ller is a kitten.

After all these years,

your brother's kind
heart has infected me.

[GROANS]

Well,

for what it's worth, I'm proud of you.

Why?

Because...

you're a man who has found he
has a strong moral compass,

and that is to be admired.

Thank you.

I just wish you could've been
a monster for one more day.

Me, too, Christina. Me, too.

_

[ZOMBIES SNARLING ON TV]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Playing a little Xbox?

- [MAN SCREAMS ON TV]
- Uh, yeah.

That's good. [GRUNTS]

Have your fun.

Stay young.

- Are you okay?
- No.

Don't worry about me.

Worry about k*lling those zombies.

[ZOMBIES GROANING]

If you think about it...

...they were people once.

Maybe one of them got stuck
in a job that he never wanted.

Maybe.

Definitely.

Probably thought death would
finally give him a rest.

Now look at him.

Shambling around, eating brains forever.

I don't want to play this game anymore.

None of us do.

_

Why did I find your shoes in the trash?

Because they are cursed.

That is nonsense.

How do you explain that,
as soon as I bought them,

Bob lost his deal and
my bunions flared up?

The only curse is your fat feet.

Which you got from your father.

I was a boastful fool,

and I brought misfortune to our family.

[SIGHS]

It is not your fault.

If anything,

I may have been too hasty in pushing you

to become the flashy
wife of a billionaire.

Are you saying you were wrong?

An error was made.

You and Bob will be fine.

He is a good businessman,
and he has you by his side.

If the deal was meant to happen,
it will happen.

- Thank you, Mummy.
- You are welcome.

You know I am always here for you.

- They are very pretty.
- They are.

Mm.

Just to be safe,

maybe it is best I take them.

No, it's okay. You were right,

I was being silly.

But if it is the devil's work,

that is what he would want you to think.

No, it's okay.

I will wear these
poisonous heels to church

and pray the curse off of them. Mm.

_

Hey, you needed me? I was on my way out.

I may have a solution

to our negotiating standstill.

I thought we decided on
giving up and dying here.

There is another option.

You found an alternate buyer?

Yes. Although, as you can see,

this buyer would be paying across

a much longer timeline
than the Japanese.

Well, that's all right. If nothing else,

it might put a scare in those guys.

This buyer cares about MaxDot

and has a plan that would
allow the business to grow

without sacrificing
quality or employees.

I don't see a name.

[SIGHS]

It is Goodwin Aderibigbe
Olayiwola Enterprises.

That is me.

You want to buy the company?

Do you have that kind of money?

I have saved for decades

and secured bank loans
and private funding.

Wow. Bringing in all those
sack lunches really paid off.

I know it is half the money,

but I promise you,
I have twice the passion.

MaxDot is what

gave me stability when
I came to this country.

It is where I have accomplished

my lifelong goal

of becoming an executive.

Goodwin, buddy, you can stop selling.

I'd much rather keep
the business in the family.

[SIGHS]

I understand.

I had to try.

You don't understand.

You are family.

You got a deal.

Thank you.

No, really,

thank you.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

- Congrats.
- Thank you.

CHRISTINA: Oh! That is

so nice.

Whatever's going on,

it's really sweet.

May I come in?

You don't have to keep
all the employees.

_

Cheers to my wonderful husband.

After a seven-year payment plan,

you'll be a very rich man.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Ugh.

You did not take the Japanese offer,

so I had to buy cheap
American champagne.

Well, we should at least
go out for a nice dinner.

Fine. I'll borrow
my new shoes from Mummy.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Why'd I do it again?

Yes, our mansion is on a lake.

Ten bedrooms

and a breakfast nook.

Of course you may bring your friends.

Bob will pay for everything.

Yes, yes, tell everyone.

How long is she gonna keep
lying to people like that?

Let her have her fun.

Yeah, you're right.

But you will have to rent a lake house.

Yeah, you're right.