04x02 - Cake Me As I Am

[bunniefuu]

[funky music playing]

[Michelle] The secret is out.[/i]

We've truly spiced up our Circle lives
with not one, but two living legends,

who ruled the girl band game
at a time when girl bands ruled the Earth.

And while I breathe into a brown paper bag
for a few minutes,

our VIPs are settling in.

[music stops]

Hey, hey, hey.

[gasps, laughs]

[woman 1] Babes!

-Oh, this is kind of nice, isn't it?
-Oh my goodness, this is so cute!

[woman 2] It's quite big.

Come on, Cookie.

[woman 1] This is it!

-This is our house!
-[shouting] I can't believe it!

This is our house, Cookie. You ready?

-Are you ready for this?
-I'm a bit scared now.

-Yeah, I'm a bit scared now.
-My heart's b*ating really fast.

I feel... Is it?

No. You'll be all right.

-Hi!
-Hi!

-[woman 1] I'm Emma Bunton.
-[woman 2] I'm Melanie Brown.

You might know us better as Baby Spice.

And Scary Spice.

From the...

-[shouting] ...Spice Girls!
-Why are we shouting?

'Cause we always do that.
It's just a thing.

♪ Colors of the world
Spice up your life ♪

♪ Every boy and every girl
Spice up your life ♪

We are coming into The Circle
to spice things up a bit, don't you think?

Yeah!

-I'm a massive fan.
-You're obsessed. I'm obsessed.

-So when they asked us, no-brainer!
-Yeah.

-Nobody's gonna know that it's us.
-Why? Tell them why.

-Because we're going in as a catfish!
-...catfish!

[Mel B] We have absolutely no idea
who we're gonna be playing.

-I'm just dying to know who it's gonna be.
-I wanna know.

♪ Ah, slam it to the left
If you're havin' a good time... ♪

[Emma] We have been lucky enough
to travel the world.

We have performed in stadiums.
It's been incredible.

And to be in The Circle...

We're gonna be seen
in a different light, I think.

You'll be watching us 24/7.

-[Mel B] Why do you say it like that?
-[Emma] Because it's true.

And she's gonna cook, 'cause I can't.

-I get a bit bossy now and again.
-She's a bitch.

-Baby's a bitch.
-Baby's a bitch.

-We're gonna have fun.
-We're gonna have so much fun.

We can't wait to get in The Circle.
Things might get a little bit spicy.

♪ Hai, si, ja
Hold tight ♪

-[Mel B] Right.
-[Emma] Let's do sharing is caring.

-I'm boiling.
-Oh, are you? Okay.

-Yeah. Cookie will share it with you.
-Come on, Cookie. You share with me.

Let's get your bangs out the way.

-She's got bangs.
-She has got bangs.

[Michelle] I could watch this forever,[/i]
but we gotta give 'em one of these.[/i]

[alarm blares]

"Alert!" Oh my goodness!

[both screaming]

"Today the players in The Circle
rated each other for the first time."

[Emma screams]

[gasps]

"The top influencer was asked to choose
a new player to join The Circle."

[Emma] "What they didn't know
is that they were actually choosing..."

-"...your catfish profile!"
-"...your catfish profile!"

Of course!

[Emma] "It's time to meet..."

-"...your new profile!"
-"...your new profile!"

-[Emma] I can't look!
-[Mel B] I can't look! I can't look!

[screen chimes]

-Oh my goodness!
-Oh, Jared!

[suspenseful music playing]

A children's author.

[Emma] Wow!

He doesn't look very friendly.
Looks a little bit like...

-I think he does!
-I don't know.

-Looks like he's...
-He's got dimples and a cheeky smile.

-[Emma] Maybe there's another picture.
-[Mel B] Can we go through his pictures?

[screen chimes]

-See, look, he looks so much friendlier...
-He's so cute.

-I know.
-...in all of these.

-In the Happy...
-In Chillin' and Happy.

Circle, could we look
at the Happy pictures, please?

Aw! Well, let's have a look
at the top left.

[screen dings]

-[Mel B] What is that? Cheese?
-[Emma] Is that cheese?

I haven't got my glasses on,
so it could be...

I don't know what it is.

[Emma] Back.

I think we have to go with the chicken.

The chicken could be quite good
because he is an author,

a children's author.

What's a chicken got to do
with children's author?

-Like chicken. Yeah.
-Okay.

-Are we gonna pick this?
-I think so.

Circle, please select this
as our profile picture.

Winner, winner, chicken...

-...dinner!
-...dinner!

[Mel B] So Relationship Status...

-Single.
-Single.

[Emma] Definitely single.

About Me. [screams]

Okay.

Do you say, "Hi, guys" or is...

-Like, how would we start it off?
-So, I think we start it off with...

-"I'm..."
-Yeah.

Or, "Welcome to my world."

Delete, "I'm..."

"Welcome to my fun-filled world."

Yes.

I... I think we should, um...

[Mel B laughing]

Hold on. Hold on.

[Michelle] As two pop stars[/i]
become one children's author,[/i]

the rest of the players,

unaware there's a celebrity catfish
cruising The Circle,

are reflecting on their first ratings.

Didn't think it would end
with a blue check mark.

And tomorrow, I got

the biggest decision
I'm gonna have to make so far,

blocking somebody, and that's insane.

I had a big decision to make today.

I have an even bigger decision
to make tomorrow.

It's about time I take my fat ass to bed.

And Circle, you need to take
your ass to bed too.

[Michelle] You ain't wrong. But let's[/i]
check back in to see if our Circle spices[/i]

have peppered Jared's profile
with their own girl power.

-I think we should say, "I'm open..."
-"...to new adventures."

"I'm open to new adventures.
I never take life too seriously."

-I thought we'd be good at this.
-Um. "...fun-filled world."

"I'm open to new adventures
and never take life too seriously."

We've got... We're getting there,
so we'll get there.

So, "A big animal lover..."

"...with a soft spot for cheese."

What are you thinking?

So I'm thinking... 'Cause smelly cheese.
Could we say, "Smelly cheese"?

No. Enough of cheese.

But then what if we get asked
about cheese?

-Do you know enough about cheese?
-I know a little bit about cheese.

[Mel B] Let's have a look
at some of the emojis.

[Emma gasps] Is there any cheese?

[Mel B] This is so random.

Exactly, I quite like that, though.
I like the randomness of cheese.

-He looks quirky. He's kind of quirky.
-Exactly.

[Mel B] Can you put, "I'm quirky
and loyal" and then prayer hands?

-No?
-Yeah.

Then it should be, "I hope to one day..."

[both] "...travel the world..."

-[Mel B] "...with the love of my life."
-"Winky face." [smacks tongue]

That's nice.

[laughs] Circle, please...

-...set this...
-...set this as our...

-...profile!
-...profile!

[screen beeps]

Oh, please like us. Please like Jared.

Please.

[screen beeps]

[both] "Tomorrow,
you will join The Circle."

-I'm ready now. I'm wide awake.
-I want to do it now.

Why can't we join now?

[Emma] Oh.

"In the meantime, get some rest."

I feel like I've been sent to bed.

We are getting sent to bed.

So we definitely need to get some rest
'cause we're gonna be Jared tomorrow.

We're a children's author,

so we need to think
of what our books are called.

-Oh.
-How many books have we written?

-It's gonna be fine.
-I think we just have to...

Take your notebook to bed,
and we'll write lots of different things.

Oh, we're gonna nail this.

Come on, Cookie.

Come on, Cookie. You can help.

[Mel B] I just don't...

-[Mel B] I'm... I'm worried.
-[Emma] I'm a bit worried.

[Mel B] I'm... I'm a lot worried.
Here, your pillow.

[Michelle] It's okay, Scary, Baby,[/i]
and your little furry friend, Cookie.[/i]

You just need some shut-eye.
Anyway, what y'all worried about?

You've sold over 100 million records,

performed for royalty,

and were part of the most recognizable
pop band since The Beatles.

I think y'all can handle playing a dude
who writes children's books

on a game show. I swear.

♪ All that joy can bring
All that joy... ♪

Good morning, Circle.

How'd you sleep? Did you miss me?

Oof. What a night. What a day.

[Michelle] Our players are waking up[/i]
to the first morning in The Circle,[/i]

unaware they're within spitting distance
of pop royalty.

And their catfish profile was chosen
by top influencer Frank,

who, along with fellow influencer Carol,
has to choose who to block tonight.

Busy boy, Frank.

I'm excited for the new person to come in

and see how their energy is
and see how they vibe with everybody else.

[Emma] I thought you said you were tidy.

-[Mel B] I am.
-She's left the fridge open.

Yeah, because I'm coming back.

♪ I'll give you everything
On this, I swear ♪

♪ Just promise you'll always be there ♪

I'm really worried
about how I've been perceived already.

I gotta open up, and be the sweeter side,
and keep reinforcing that good guy image.

I'm not getting blocked.

Seventh place is...

That's the last time
I'm gonna be there. [giggles]

I'm really ready to approach the day
with a fresh mindset.

Like, I can unclench
and, like, just... just be me.

-[birds chirping]
-[Emma] Look how pretty you look! Look!

You suit me, 'cause you're pink.
Look, you should sit with me like this.

-Look. How's that?
-She does look good on you.

She does.
She's like, "I want my mom," though.

Yeah, of course she does. Come on.

What I do for Cookie
is do this vegan dye that's very natural.

Very natural, of course.

Um, we put that on about once a month,
and then she just sits there.

-Oh, she loves it.
-It has to be on there for 20 minutes.

And then we wash it off, don't we?

And then we give you a bit of a blow-dry,

and then she trots around the house
like she's just stepped out of a salon.

She's exactly like mommy.

[alarm blares]

-"Alert! Alert!"
-"Alert!"

-[laughs] That gave me a shock.
-Oh my God!

[Emma] "Your time
in The Circle is limited."

-Your time in The Circle is limited.
-Your time.

Your time in The Circle's limited, Cookie.

-We're gonna get rid of you.
-Oh.

"You are about to meet

-your fellow players."
-[screams]

-Oh my gosh! Are you ready, Cookie?
-Here we go. Are you ready?

[Mel B] "Your mission is
to stay undetected in The Circle."

Well, yeah!

-Yes. Okay.
-Jared, J.

-Yep, we're ready for this.
-Yeah.

[screen beeps]

"If you succeed,
you will increase the total prize fund

for the other players!"

See, that's nice.
No pressure. That... That's good.

I'm still pretty nervous about making sure
we know everything about Jared.

We've gotta write it all down.
We've just gotta be clever about it.

I have to admit I'm not that confident.

-Are you really serious?
-Yeah.

[screen beeps]

-Oh my God.
-Oh!

[Michelle] As Mel B and Emma[/i]
turn into Secret Spice for their mission,[/i]

it's time to introduce them
to the rest of the players as Jared.

[alarm blares]

-[Alyssa] Ah! Yes! I knew it...
-"Alert!"

I wonder what this is gonna be!

What is it, Circle?

Oh sh*t. Could we be blocking?

Right, come on, Circle.

Hit us with your best sh*t.

Circle, what is it? Go ahead.

[screen beeps]

-"Last night..."
-"...the top influencer..."

-"...chose a new player..."
-"...to join The Circle."

-What?
-What?

What?

I already knew that. Cha-cha.

[Emma laughing]

Do you ever ask yourself,
"What are we doing?"

-Yes, I've asked myself that many-a-times.
-[Mel B laughing]

So who is it? Like, who is this new player
that's gonna join The Circle?

Frank, who did you choose?
Hope your judgment was good.

Ah!

[screen beeps]

"Please welcome Jared."

Jared?

Jared, please!

Let's see. Let's see. I want someone sexy.

I need a cute guy for me on the outside
and can be Paul's BFF,

but, throw in little hints in there.
Like, you know, "My daughter's single."

I wonder how he feels right now.
I bet he is so excited.

Come on, Jared. Let's see.

Oh, Jared! Oh my God!

[Frank] #FullHouse.

Look at Jared down there.
Does he have a chicken?

He's got a chicken.

Chicken is letting Jared hold him.
Lord have mercy!

I got to see what Jared's looking like
on the inside with his profile.

So, Circle...

...take me to Jared's profile.

Oh! He's cute! Okay.

Is he holding a chicken?

He looks so different from
the first picture to the second picture,

and why is everybody holding animals
in their pictures?

Circle, take us
to Carol's profile, please.

See, she looks nice and like...

[Emma] She's fun.

-Mumsy, but with a bit of an edge.
-Yeah.

[Yu Ling] Okay, Jared.

"Twenty-eight.
Relationship status, single."

"Occupation, children's author"? Wow!

-[Mel B] She looks fun.
-[Emma] She's 25. She's single.

-I think she's a bit out there.
-Love it.

"I'm open to new adventures
and never take life too seriously."

Me too.

-Oh! "And an assistant to a sex coach!"
-"Sex coach!"

-"#SmallAndSpicy!"
-"Small and spicy!"

Excusez-moi!

Love the soft spot for cheese.

Even though cheese makes me
sit on the toilet all day,

it's so worth it.

-He's a therapist!
-Marriage therapist.

-[Mel B] Do you believe him?
-[Emma] I don't think I do.

I don't believe him. He doesn't look 56.

"I hope to one day travel the world
with the love of my life." Aw!

That's so sweet.

I'm really kind of glad I picked him.
He seems like a really cool guy.

-[Emma] "#BodyPositive."
-[Mel B] "Body positive."

-Yes, Frank!
-Oh!

-Frank looks like a right laugh.
-Yes, Frank.

[screen dings]

-"Circle Chat is now open."
-"...now open!"

-Okay.
-Circle, take us to Circle Chat, please.

[screen dings]

Brilliant.

-It should be something like, "Hey, guys."
-Yes.

"I'm super stoked to be..."

-Stoked is American.
-Great.

I gotta be the first one in.
I'm feeling it. Circle, message,

"Morning, everyone! Exclamation point.
How did everyone sleep? Question mark."

"Also, comma, congrats, Frank and Carol
for being the first-ever influencers!"

"Exclamation point. Jared, comma..."

"...big bro hug. Welcome to The Circle."

"I grew up raising chickens,

so your profile picture reminds me
of home. #BackOnTheFarm."

I love that he grew up raising chickens.

Message, "Hi, guys,
I'm stoked to be here."

"Looking forward
to getting to know you all. #CircleLife."

"How are you all settling in?"

"Bru, so glad you liked
my stuffed chicken."

Send.

Let's go!

That's right, Jared. All right!

Since I did not get my personality
in the chat yesterday,

I definitely need to get it out today,
and I think this is a great start.

Message, "Good morning, everyone."

"I know I slept amazing
after a crazy day yesterday."

"A big congratulations to Frank and Carol
for being our first Circle influencers."

"It's very well-deserved."

"Also, a huge welcome to Jared.
Welcome to The Circle, my man."

"We're happy you're here."
That was a good message, Paul.

This is ridiculous. He didn't sleep well.

He's not congratulating us
because he means it.

Like, this is all fake
as far as I'm concerned.

Message, "Welcome, Jared.
Hands to the sky emoji."

"It was such a hard decision having
to decide who would come into The Circle."

"I hope you're enjoying your first day,

and I hope you're getting all the energy
and good vibes from The Circle so far."

"Heart emoji." And send.

-We need to say, "Frank..."
-We need to say, "Frank, thank you so..."

-Not "thank you so much." "Frank..."
-Oh, okay.

[Mel B] Um.

It should be thank you so much
but like, massive...

A massive... We're taking so long.

"Frank, thanks for the opportunity."
Or is that too, like...

Okay.

Okay, message,

"Frank, thanks for the opportunity, bro.
Sending you good vibes."

"#TodaysGonnaBeAGoodDay."

"#GratefulToBeHere." I love it.

I'm glad that he knows,

and hopefully, he's the one
that keeps me in the game until the end.

Message, "Big welcome to you, Jared.

So excited to have you
part of the family."

"So cool to see
you're a children's book author."

"I need to add your collection
to my nephew's reading list."

She's one to watch.

She's gonna ask loads of questions,
she's gonna get in there.

-Yeah, she... she's definitely one to watch.
-We need to watch her.

I think Yu Ling is showing
more of her personality today.

Yesterday she was kind of a little slow
responding in the chat.

Message, "Jared, comma, please..."

In all caps because I really wanna know.

"...give me a rundown
of one of your children's books."

"#JaredReadMeABedtimeStory."

[laughing] I like that, Bru.

-We knew it was coming.
-Right.

-We gotta be really careful now.
-Really careful here.

You can say, "I generally write
about animals and fruit and veg."

"My children's books are based
around animals and..."

-"...poo." [laughs]
-I think that's funny.

"Bru, funny you should ask that

'cause my books are based
around animals and

poop emoji"?

"The kids dig it. #BigKidAtHeart."

Okay, do we get a title?

Like, do kids dig sh*t nowadays?

"Circle Chat is now closed."

Okay. Okay, Circle, I see you.

I think we've done fine.
I actually genuinely think...

I think we seriously need
to talk about this book situation

because we are gonna get asked
about that a lot.

[Michelle] While those two[/i]
turn their writing talents to kids' books...[/i]

I'm just like,
"Is there nothing they can't do?"

...the others are making
their own entertainment,

but not for long.

[screen chimes]

"Cake Me As I Am."

Oh my God!

I think it means
we're gonna have to bake a cake.

[Michelle] Yes, back by popular demand,[/i]
and by that, I mean The Circle's demand,[/i]

it's Cake Me As I Am. The players
will showcase their personalities

by decorating a multi-tiered cake.

-How many tiers is that, Frank?
-Four?[/i]

-[Michelle] Thanks, honey.[/i][/i]
-No soggy bottoms here.

[Michelle] Firm and frisky bottoms only.[/i]
Our Circle postman has delivered[/i]

everything they need
for their calorific creations.

-[Bru] Oh my God.
-[Frank] This sh*t is heavy.

And I dropped it.

This is all butter?

Look, Circle, I didn't come on here
to get high cholesterol now.

"You have 30 minutes."

To ice a four-tiered cake?
[shouting] Are you crazy?

I need 30 minutes to go through this.

-Okay.
-We mean business.

Gotta channel my inner Carol.

You know, she's a baker,
so I gotta show out a little bit.

-"Your time starts now."
-"Your time starts now."

[Bru] Whoo! Let's go.

Lord, I don't know what I'm doing.

-[evil laugh]
-[mixer whirring]

I think they don't expect guys
to be able to have, like, pretty cakes.

Especially 'cause, sweetie,
Paul's not a baker like Carol.

The buttercream thing is not going
as well as I thought it would.

Oh my God.

Oh! Oh.

[Emma] The good thing about when I'm
on The Great American Baking Show is[/i]

that I only taste things.
I don't have to make anything.

Oh my God!

Oh!

That does not look tasty at all, though.

Oh God.

-That looks like a dog's dinner.
-Excuse me. I'm... I'm really going to...

It is. It's really bad.

The goal is not prettiness.

It's about what's inside.

Oh, that might be a good message
to put on there.

Like, I want it to look very elegant,
like, very mom-level.

Maybe I should become a baker.

Imagine if we said we're good at baking.

Well, we're not, are we?

-We didn't say that.
-I bet who is good at baking.

-Carol.
-Carol.

I felt more confident going into this
than I am actually doing it.

Ooh, I'm doing it! It's happening.
There's no turning back now.

Come on. A bit more.

[Emma laughing]

I really hope people see this cake,
and they're like, "This is a guy cake."

I can't tell if it's because I'm just,
like, a dude doing it,

and I feel like this looks
like a mom cake, but I feel pretty good.

Okay, I'm not mad at that.

[Frank] Oh!

-[mixer hits floor]
-sh*t.

d*ck. Balls and dicks.

Mom, I apologize for my language.

[Emma] Oh my God!
I can't believe how messy you are.

Okay, so we have "family,"
we have "sex positive," "pocket rocket."

I hope they don't think
I'm talking about, like, a sex toy.

[Emma gasps, shouts] No! Don't do that!

"It's what's on the inside that matters."

It's looking fine. It's looking fabulous.

This is a good-looking cake,
I think, for anybody.

Help me do this.

So bossy. I've never met anyone
as bossy as you in my life.

As bossy? I just saved it! Look!

[screen chimes]

-"Time's up!"
-[Emma] "Time's up." We're done!

Whoo!

-[Bru] Oh boy.
-[Frank] Oh sh*t.

I think it looks good.

This screams, "I am a man."

We've got some clearing up to do, babes.

We not have room service in here?

[Michelle] Sorry, friend,[/i]
we blew our budget on cakes.[/i]

All our players
will now take a picture of their cake

and upload it for everyone to see.

The whipped cream is dripping.

Perfect. Go.

I'm glad that I got
everything that I wanted on there.

[screen beeps]

[Michelle] Now that all the players' cakes[/i]
have been uploaded,[/i]

let the judgment begin.

Circle, take me to the Newsfeed.

[Michelle] First to face the Circle public[/i]
is Crissa's cake.[/i]

Oh my God!

Oh, that's mine!

Oh my God! Crissa's is really good.

Look at her basketball!

Okay, Crissa! What?

That is so cute!

I was wondering how she did that
with the chocolate. Impressive.

You can't knock her. Like, she definitely
nailed her personality to a tee.

[Michelle] Now it's our spicy catfish[/i]
Jared's sweet treat.[/i]

-Oh my gosh!
-Our looks good!

-That's ours! You see? You see?
-Yes!

That's great!

That looks so good.

Pretty good for Jared too.
That's a pretty well-put-together cake.

Is it suspiciously good? I don't know.

Like, I...
I can't believe that a man did this.

[Michelle] Yu Ling's creation is next.[/i]

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

That's my cake!

Yu Ling! She brought it. She brought it.

She definitely matched everything
to her profile.

I knew she was gonna do
something about her culture.

I wonder what that says.

I actually feel really proud
that I was able

to incorporate my Chinese characters
and my language.

Then they'll know
there's, like, a deeper story behind it.

Who's next?

[Michelle] It's Frank.[/i]

Wow. This is such a, like, colorful,
expl*sive, like, confetti party.

I think the hearts are a cute touch,
a little golden love.

I think it says a lot about
Frank's personality,

to be honest with you.

I love it. Great cake.

Love the color on the buttercream.
Well done, sir. Cheers! Ten out of ten.

[Michelle] Now we have[/i]
Alyssa's sexy sweet treat.[/i]

Aw, there's mine.

Literally is everyone here
a cake decorator and not telling me?

"Pocket rocket?"

Pocket rocket's a vibrator.

I know, in England.

It's worldwide.

[Michelle] I can confirm.[/i]

I think it's a good time
to go to Bru's cake.

Aw! Look at Bru. What does that say?

"It's what's on the inside that matters."

[gasps] Oh!

Is he a catfish? 'Cause maybe he's saying...

it's really what's behind the screen
that matters.

[Michelle] Up next is Paul,[/i]
AKA Parker's attempt.[/i]

Are you kidding me? How did he get
that much time to do that?

Oh my... Is that a dog?

Oh! Now, this is cute. It has a mustache.

That's something you'd see in a cake shop.

I just really hope people look at mine
and think, "Oh, this is a guy cake."

There's no way a man made this cake.

Is Paul a girl?

[Michelle] And finally,[/i]
we have Momma Carol's cake.[/i]

It is very, very cute.

I love the little "C" at the top,
and she did a good job.

She loves to bake. I mean...

-It would be better than that.
-Way better than that.

That does not look

like a woman who bakes regularly
would have made that.

Something is up with Carol.

[Michelle] Let's take a pause[/i]
for the cause on that catfish detecting.[/i]

The players are about to vote
on who made their favorite Circle cake.

My favorite cake is Alyssa's.

Circle, please like Alyssa's cake.

Please like Crissa's cake.

-"Please like Yu Ling's cake."
-"Yu Ling's cake."

Please like Jared's picture.

[Michelle] Cake votes are in.[/i]
Time to find out who's on that top tier.[/i]

-"The winner is..."[/i][/i]
-"The winner is..."[/i]

[Parker] Drumroll!

[screen chimes]

[shouting] Oh! It's me! It's me!

-Crissa!
-[Alyssa] Crissa! Woo-hoo!

"Congratulations, Crissa."

"Your reward is at the door." At the door?

[happy music playing]

[laughing]

I am so jealous. Go off, girl.

I wanna thank God.
I wanna thank my family.

I wanna thank basketball.

I feel deflated.

Look at the effort we put into it.
We nearly had a lovers' tiff...

-I know.
-...in the middle of it.

-We had an argument over cream.
-I didn't argue with you.

-You had a breakdown about the cream.
-You were being so bossy!

-No, I wasn't.
-"Don't open this. Don't open that."

[Emma] Should I...

[Mel B] ...nothing left
in the thing, so I thought,

"Oh, I know what I'll do..."

[Michelle] I think those Spice Girls[/i]
may have had too much sugar.[/i]

[rhythmical music playing]

And after an afternoon
of super-competitive cake design,

Momma Carol
is channeling her inner Rod Stewart...

Frank is channeling his inner Crissa
with his ballin' skills...

[shouting] What?

...and Bru is channeling his inner Bru
by saying things like this...

All righty.

...and starting a chat
with his fellow pretty young things,

Alyssa and Yu Ling.

Message, "What's up, guys?"

"Look at us thriving in our 20s."

"Wanted to say hi
and see how y'all are doing." Aw!

That's really sweet.

Message, "I was super interested
in each of your cakes too!"

"Exclamation point."

Oh! "Yu Ling, I'm dying to know
what your cake said."

"And, Alyssa, equally dying to know
what #PocketRocket is."

"LOL." And a little spaceship emoji.
Okay. This is cute.

I love Bru so far.

I hope he's everything that he says he is.

Message, "Hey, guys."

"Bru, I was so excited
that you started this chat."

"Clapping emoji."

"You read my mind
because I was also dying to know what..."

"...Yu Ling's cake said,
and I also adored your cake." Oh!

This is a great opportunity to, you know,
share the actual story about my cake.

Message, "What the hell's poppin', y'all?"

My cake said in Chinese,
"Yu Ling, add gas."

"My name is definitely something
that was really important to me to keep

when I became a naturalized citizen
in the U.S."

"'Add gas' means
'Keep going. We're rooting for you.'"

"It's a reminder to me
to always gas myself up."

I... love it.

That's a really cool message,

and I love
that her culture is so important to her.

I kind of want to poke
at how bad my cake was.

Message, "I wanted to make sure
everyone knew

that I am bubbly, full of energy
and ready for takeoff,

so #PocketRocket, it is.
Spaceship, spaceship, spaceship."

"I also think it's a nickname
for a vibrator. Crying laughing emoji."

What?

Man, she takes work home with her,
doesn't she?

[laughing] Gosh.

Bru started this chat, I'm sure,
with high hopes of wholesome conversation,

and I feel like he's like...

No, I gotta get back in here. All right,
we gotta get... we gotta get... [exhales]

Message, "My cake-making experience
was a hot mess,

but basically, the gist of it was
that I think it's so important

to value what's on the inside
as much as what's on the outside. Period."

"Already starting to tell
you both are beautiful inside and out."

Are you flirting with both of us?

Oh gosh.

That is so F-ing sweet, Bru.

Okay, I'm gonna flirt back
and make this funny. [giggles]

So I'm gonna to say... Message...

[Bru] "So are we both
your girlfriends now?"

"Crying laughing emoji.
#TheHappyThrouple."

[screams]

You try to get to know some people,

next thing you know,
you're in a three-way relationship.

[Michelle] It's a tale as old as time.[/i]

Message, "I wouldn't want to be
in a three-way with anyone else."

[Alyssa laughs] "Laughing emojis."

And she said, "What do y'all think
is the secret to a #HappyThrouple?"

Well, hell if I know. I can't...

I don't know what the key is
to a relationship in general,

and now we're...
now we're already talking three-ways? Ah!

Open communication, loyalty...

and great d*ck.

Message, "I'll be honest,
this is my first #Throuple." Oh God.

"I'm blushing alone in my apartment."
He's so cute.

Message, "So great getting to know
both of you a little bit more."

"Excuse me. I've gotta go
take a cold shower now."

And bathtub emoji, please. Send it.

Signed, sealed, delivered. Okay.

I love that I just joined
this, uh, three-way with them.

That was kind of obviously the way
to be like, "Yo, I got you if you got me."

I think that was successful.
I didn't expect to end up in a three-way

by the end of this thing,
but you gotta do what you gotta do.

[Michelle] Bru, my bro,[/i]
I've said it before,[/i]

and I'll say it again,
The Circle moves fast.

[rhythmical music playing]

And while he cools down,

Paul wants to get all warm and fuzzy
with Circle momma Carol,

who just happens to be
one of the influencers.

[Parker] I really wanna have
a chat with Carol.

Yesterday, I got some
major inconsistencies in her profile,

but then during the baking challenge,
she really baked,

and she did a good-ass job doing it,
so I really felt it was her.

I think it's good I get on her radar

so maybe she can really think through
her decision and want me to stay.

[jarring guitar tones]

What? [laughing]

Paul has invited me
to a private chat, dude?

I don't like it.

I think this guy's got ulterior motives.
I think he just wants to talk to me

because I'm at the top of the game,
and he's at the bottom.

Message, "Hello, Carol. Smiley face."

"I've been looking forward
to chatting with you

since we have so much in common.
I would love to get to know you better."

"I see you're family-oriented
just like me."

"I'd love to hear more
about your family and two children."

I'm definitely starting off
with the whole family situation

because I can relate a lot to it.

I have two children, just like her.

Message, "Hi, Paul! Exclamation point."

"This is a pleasant surprise.
Smiley face emoji."

"I've been married to my husband John
for 30 years! Exclamation point."

"We have two children, Victoria,
who's 22 and studying to be a teacher,"

"and John, who's 24
and works in communications."

It's definitely weird to say my name
and lie about what I do for a living

because I don't wanna mention
that I work in social media

because that could be a giveaway.

Message, "What about you?"

"Tell me about your family!
Exclamation point." Send.

This is so great for me
because her kids are around my age.

John is studying communications.
That's literally what I'm studying.

So we have a lot more in common
than I thought, which is amazing.

Message, "Wow! Thirty years
is definitely an accomplishment."

"You must be so proud of your children.
Sounds like they're doing great things."

"John reminds me a lot
of my daughter, Parker."

"She's currently in college
studying communications."

I have a feeling that, like...
There's... there's a potential, like...

Daughters around the same age
as myself and my sister.

That leads me to believe, like, Parker,
who he mentions...

Maybe Parker is the one running this game,
because she's studying communications.

She could be doing
the exact same thing that I'm doing.

We're playing a very similar game now.

Maybe there are more similarities
on the surface than I realized.

Message, "You must be missing your family
so much,

but I bet they are so proud of you
for being here."

"If you are ever feeling down
and need a chat, I am always available."

"Smile, thumbs up."

I think I definitely built
a closer relationship to Carol.

I really hope she will reconsider
maybe not blocking me tonight.

Coming into this, I felt like
Paul was kind of a superficial dude,

but there's some part of me
that does believe that Paul has

a genuine side to him.
This gives me a lot to think about,

especially going into decisions tonight.

If somebody's playing the same game as me,
I'm not trying to blow it up just yet.

[Michelle] Down the hall at Jared's,[/i]
Emma is two hours in[/i]

to an all-day round of applause

for Mel's leopard-print bodysuit.

And Crissa can't even see it,
but she's joining in.

Talk about positive clap back.

We wanna get to know
Frank and Crissa a bit more.

[Mel B] Crissa did just win
the cake decoration.

Making her quite popular, I assume.

Yeah, definitely.

-So I think it'll be good to kind of...
-Get her on side.

-...get her on side.
-Get in.

[screen dings]

"Jared has invited you to a group chat."

Hell nah! I can't never finish a meal
in The Circle.

I know I'm fat,
but give me time to eat, girl.

Circle, take me to Jared's group chat.

[screen dings]

Oh! Me, Jared, and Crissa.

That's an interesting combination.

I can't wait to see
what both of these people have to say.

Message, "Hey, guys,
just wanted to take a minute

to thank you again, Frank,
for giving me this opportunity."

"I would love to get to know you both."

"You look like my kind of peeps"?

-Is that quite...
-Yes.

[both] "You look like my kind of peeps."

"#KeepingItReal. #NewKidOnTheBlock.
Rainbow heart emoji." Send.

I am so excited that Jared wanted
to take this opportunity

to thank me for bringing him here.

I think he really wants me to know
that he is appreciative.

So I'm really happy
to be in this group chat.

Circle, message,

[shouting] "Jared!"

Just like that.
"Exclamation, exclamation, exclamation."

"I love you both."

"To be honest,
when I first came into The Circle,

Frank, you instantly became my boy,
and then Jared..."

"...I saw your chicken
and that corny little smile of yours..."

Yes!

"...and I said, 'You're my boy too.'"

-Yes! See?
-See, we like Crissa. Okay.

I love that. I knew Crissa was my sister.

Message, "#CrissaMySister,
I knew we were vibing from day one,

and I will be patiently waiting
on a slice of that winning cake

that you slam dunked." Circle, send.

Circle, message,

"Since we're on the topic of cake,

I'm truly missing my wife's cake."

"#CakeForDays. #IsThisTMI?"

As in, the wife's...

Yes!

-...bits.
-Yes.

-God, she's very up-front, isn't she?
-Very up-front.

-"How about y'all?"
-Good on you, Crissa.

She talking about her cheeks, honey.

Her derriere. That's what she means.

I know what you mean, Crissa,
'cause you my sister.

Message, "Love that you're so open."

"I'm missing my dogs, my music..."

That's like he does music.

No, exactly. "Music," not "my music."

"...and music, sad faced emoji,

but I'm keeping myself entertained
by dancing around my apartment..."

-Naked!
-You should say, "Butt-ass naked."

"#IfYouCouldSeeMeNow."
And aubergine emoji!

-Yeah!
-Do we wanna put two tomatoes too?

-Is that two cherries or tomatoes?
-That's funny.

"#IfYouCouldSeeMeNow."

[amusing music playing]

No, he didn't put the cherries
and the eggplant.

You better be slinging that damn eggplant
and them cherry balls!

I know that's right, Jared.

He coming in, and he's smoking, baby.
I love that.

We've gotta be careful, though,
because we are a children's author.

-Balance it out.
-You agreed with the...

-Butt naked.
-...aubergine, tomato...

And that's fun.
There's nobody else in the apartment...

-Exactly.
-...apart from cameras.

[Michelle] And millions[/i]
of viewers at home. Hi, y'all.[/i]

Message. "Yes, I've been throwing this ass
like I'm on a twerk team."

-Yes!
-"#MoreCakeThanAFourTierCake."

-He's funny.
-He's very funny.

-He's funny.
-We like Frank.

[Emma] Message,
"You're k*lling me, Frank."

"I just..."

-"...spat out my..."
-"I just choked..."

-"...on my..."
-"...on my..."

Pizza?

-Cheesy puffs.
-Cheesy puffs.

-"I just choked on my cheesy puffs."
-"Need to clear this mess up."

"Laughing emoji,
laughing emoji, laughing emoji."

"#ThreeIsTheMagicNumber."

Did I just make my low-key first alliance?

[screaming quietly]

Message, "This chat
has made me so happy today."

"I'm so grateful that both of you are here
on this journey. Rainbow heart emoji."

"#AlwaysRoomForMore." And send.

This was...

amazing.

Bravo. Bravo.

-This was just a nice chat.
-This was nice chat! It's just nice!

Which was good with your nice...
You're always saying...

Nice! You're always nice!

You've gotta be clever, Melanie.
Sometimes you miss the point.

-I'm very clever.
-Sometimes you miss the point.

You've gotta reel them in with the nice,
nice, and then you've got to be...

[makes whipping sound]
...bang, and have a bit of fun.

Right. I'm going to have my dinner.

Oh.

Your job is done.

What did she do, Cookie?

[music stops]

[rhythmical music playing]

[Michelle] It's nighttime in The Circle,[/i]
and all the catfishing[/i]

in Jared's apartment
has gone to Emma's head,

'cause now she thinks she's Scary Spice.

Where are you?

-I just saw you hide behind the curtain.
-[Emma laughs]

-Damn. I wanted to scare you!
-[Michelle] Well, this might, though.[/i]

[alarm blares]

"Alert!"[/i]

Okay, Circle girl.
I'm ready, girl. What's the tea?

"It is now time..."

"...for Circle influencers..."

"...Frank and Carol..."

"...to decide which player to block."

[Michelle] Don't worry, Jared.[/i]
It won't be goodbye for you.[/i]

As our Circle newbie, you're immune.

It's about to get wild, baby. Buckle up.

One of us is going home tonight.

I feel like we just got here.

It feels real
when you read it like that. Oh.

"Frank and Carol must go to the Hangout..."

"...to make their decision."

I am not ready, baby.

It's time to talk to Frank

and make sure the game is f*cking falling
in my direction. That's all I want.

Carol's the mom.
You're looking at the mama's boy.

I'm just trying to convince myself
everything will be okay.

I have no confidence here.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Michelle] Frank and Carol,[/i]

our first Circle influencers,
are headed all the way up to the Hangout.

And you know when you see

that tasteful jungle decor
and plastic chair,

someone's about to get blocked.

Influencer. Feels good.
The title feels real good.

This is cute.

Child, I should have put on a wig, honey.
This is nice.

I'm gonna play sweet,
humble, loving Carol,

but I know, at the front of my mind,

that I need to make sure
that this goes my way.

I'm gonna make sure that my girls are safe
because I need the girls

in order to keep my game going,

and the other three
are right on the chopping block

as far as I'm concerned.

To me, I don't really have anybody
that I just do not like.

It's simply game play right now.
It's no emotions tied to it.

So I have to do what's best

for the game, and myself, and making sure
that I make it to the finale.

So, I'm ready, honey.
I'm ready to see what's about to go down.

[screen beeps]

[John] "Influencers, it's now time
to make your decision."

Take me to the Influencer Chat.

Message, "Frank, I'm so happy
to be here with you! Exclamation point."

"I have loved your personality
this whole game,

and it truly puts a smile
on my face, dear."

"Are you ready for us
to make a big decision?"

Child, Momma Carol, I'm ready for you
to help me make this big decision,

'cause I don't know
what is about to happen.

Message, "Momma Carol,
I am so happy to be here,

and I'm even happier
to be doing it with you."

"#LetsDoThis."

Message, "I love
that you called me Momma Carol."

"Heart, crying-face emoji."

"I think we should talk about people
we definitely want safe!"

"Exclamation point."

"For me, it's Alyssa."

"She just reminds me of home
and so much of my family."

"Family emoji."

"Who is safe for you?"

Send.

I'm totally thinking long-term
with this move.

Alyssa needs to be in this game
if I'm gonna have any chance of winning.

I am definitely with her
with Alyssa being someone who is safe.

Message, "I couldn't agree more
about Alyssa."

"She is all that and a bag of chips."

"For me, I'm going to have to save Crissa,

as she's really shown herself

to be a person
that I want to be around a little longer."

Two of my girls off the table right away.

Message,
"I absolutely agree about Crissa."

"I would love to keep her safe.
Heart emoji."

"I'm glad we agree! Exclamation point."

"So I guess that leaves Yu Ling,
Bru, and Paul to discuss."

"Should we talk about each one of them?"
Okay.

Seventy-five percent of girl g*ng is safe.

Me, Alyssa, Crissa. Love that.

Now, the next thing we gotta do

is make sure that Yu Ling
has some positive vibes going about her.

Message, "I feel like Yu Ling
has been so genuinely herself."

"Her personality is so fun,

and I think that we just have
to coax her out of her shell."

Message, "I definitely feel
where you're coming from with Yu Ling."

"I feel like, when we first started,
we got lots of personality,

and I just don't know
what happened to it."

Okay, so Frank isn't sold on Yu Ling.

That's not false.

I... I see where he's coming from there,

because she did come out g*ns blazing,

and then all of a sudden,
like, she took a backseat.

Clearly, other people have noticed it
because she didn't rank high.

See, I wouldn't be upset if she stayed,
and I wouldn't be upset if she'd leave.

It's time that we move on
and talk about Paul.

Message, "I had a really wonderful chat
with Paul earlier."

"But up until then..."

"...I hadn't gotten much from him.
What are your thoughts?"

Him chatting with both of us
between now and yesterday

could be a strategic move
on Paul's behalf.

Message, "I got
the same exact vibe from Paul."

"I feel like he started off a bit slow
and was a bit of a mystery."

"He has definitely stepped up his game."

"I'm not sure
if he's just being genuine or strategic."

I think he is being strategic
with how the ratings went.

He was right at the bottom,
and he came out today,

and he tried to make his way around.

Whether you think it's ass-kissing or not,
at least he showed some effort.

It was more than Bru
or Yu Ling might've did for me today.

So I guess that leaves Bru.

I personally don't trust Bru.

I don't know
if he's even who he says he is.

I'm just... I'm just not sold on him yet.

Message, "Bru reminds me
of my son's very polite friends. Period."

"He definitely has a nice personality,
but I have not gotten to know him at all."

"It makes me feel

like he's not being
completely up-front with us."

Okay, Momma Carol,
I see where you're going.

She hasn't had a chat with Bru
like I have,

so she only knows
what she's seen in the chat.

Message, "Bru has an amazing personality

and has been a joy
to have here in The Circle."

"I definitely feel like
he is being genuine,

and I think we could potentially
get to know him a little better."

That's extremely positive.
Clearly, he's gotten to know Frank.

Somebody has to get blocked,

and I feel like Carol nor myself
have anybody

that we just absolutely want blocked.

So it's definitely a tough decision.

It puts you through the wringer.

I feel like I've gone through, like,


[suspenseful music playing]

[sighs]

Well, baby, it looks like
the decision has been made, honey.

Frankie boy, we did it.

I think Carol should tell.
#MommaKnowsBest.

And I think she will be the one
to be able to let the news go,

and everybody will be okay with it.

Message, "How do you feel about

letting the rest of the family
know about our decision?"

"#MommaKnowsBest."

Yeah. Um.

I feel like I'm okay to do it
if I just portray it the right way.

Message, "I'm absolutely fine
to do that, hon."

"#MommasGotACircleSon."
I know that's right.

She's gonna deliver the news.

I can breathe
out of both of my nostrils tonight, baby,

and, ooh, this feels amazing.

I hope everybody just understands
that we had to do this.

There's no hard feelings.
It's just a game.

[Michelle] Yeah, it's just a game,

a terrifying, dramatic,
ass-clenching-ly stressful game

with big money on the line.

All right, let 'em have it, Circle.

[alarm blares]

"Alert!"

-"Alert!"
-"Alert!"

[laughs nervously] "Alert."

[screen beeps]

"The influencers have made..."

"...their decision."

Let's hope it's one
that's Bru crew friendly.

[screen beeps]

"As Jared is a new player,
he is immune from this blocking."

Lucky son-of-a-g*n you are.

Cookie, we're staying.

She's like, "I... I know we're staying.
I've already made myself cozy."

She's chilling.

Jared is safe. So it's me,
Paul, Crissa, Alyssa, and Yu Ling.

One in five chance.

Twenty percent? [chuckles]

I'm not great at math, but that... I don't...

[screen beeps]

"Players must go to Circle Chat now."

Oh my God. Okay.

Ooh!

Circle, take me to the Circle Chat.

[dramatic music playing]

[screen dings]

[exhales]

I was feeling pretty confident about it

before I saw everybody's face
on the right side of the screen.

Message...

[Alyssa] Oh! Carol's typing.

Oh my God.

I just really hope this is not me.

[exhales]

[sniffles]

"Hi, Circle family.
This was very difficult for Frank and I."

"We wish we had more time with everybody

to get to know
you wonderful people better."

"That being said, we just haven't gotten
to know this person well enough,

and it makes my heart hurt
to see someone go so soon."

Okay, this... this actually
kind of makes me feel better.

[music intensifying]

It just feels shitty knowing that

one of these people's game ends right now,

and the words are leaving my mouth.

Me, Bru, and Paul are definitely up there
for the guillotine.

Who could this be? Oh! She's typing again!

"The player we've decided to block is..."

[sighs]

I'm so stressed.

Come on, Momma Bear Carol, not me.

Not me, honey.

[music building up]

[music stops]

Send.

[gasps]

I knew it. [crying]

"Paul." Oh!

It's Paul.

Oh my God!

You know what? That's really sucky

because I thought
Carol and I had a good conversation.

I've been blocked from The Circle.

That really sucks.

-"Paul has been blocked from The Circle!"
-That quick!

Carol, thank you! And, Frank, thank you.

Man, that's tough.

Paul, gone already.
He don't get to say bye.

Now we're back to seven.

This means the girls have the numbers,

and I've succeeded in my mission
of keeping the girls together, so...

that's what I get
to take to the bank right now.

[Michelle] Paul's the first player[/i]
to be blocked.[/i]

But before he goes home
to start The Circle chapter of his memoir,

y'all know we got a little parting gift.

[alarm blares]

"Alert."

Oh my God.

[screen beeps]

"Paul, before you leave,
you can meet one player face to face!"

[screams]

Okay. I am definitely so excited
for this one.

[screen beeps]

"Think about who you would like to meet."

Whew! Oh my God.

[alarm blares]

-[Bru] "Alert!" Oh boy.
-"Alert!" What? Oh my God, again?

[Frank] Oh sh*t! "Before Paul leaves, he..."

"...can meet one player."

[tense music playing]

Oh, if he walks through that door,
I'm gonna have so much 'splaining to do.

-[screen beeps]
-"Paul is on his way to meet..."

"...one of you now!"

[music intensifying]

I need deodorant.

I was feeling good about it a second ago,
but now if he comes

and sits in that chair, and we have to
have a real conversation,

I'm gonna feel like a d*ck.

[dramatic music playing]

What if he's not Paul?
What if he's his wife?

Or his daughter? [gasps]

I am, like, so far past petrified,
I might, like, wet my pants.

[exhales]

All righty. I'm ready.

[Mel B] Quite hot under my blanket.

[Emma] Is it?

[gasps]

[music fading out]

[theme music playing]