04x08 - Don't Act Innocent

[bunniefuu]

[male #1]
'You gotta punch.'

When did you get back
from Italy?

I got back a few days ago.

Did you miss anything?

Um, Steph and Doug went out
to dinner.

- Stephanie Pratt and Doug?
- Yeah.

And that's the guy you dated?

- Oh!
- 'That's a little shady.'

'And what was really weird
to me was that she, like'

called Audrina
and was like, what do I do?

And like, if you're having
to question it

so much, like,
then it's not worth it.

Well, I just think
it's strange because

it's already hard enough
for you to trust her.

[Lauren]
'Yeah, I'm just gonna see
what she has to say.'

Listen, if you guys,
if you're, if you're friends

with your girl,
you don't go out with an ex

unless you get the stamp
of approval.

- 'Coming from a guy's
point of view.'
- Yeah.

'She better have a good
explanation for it.'

♪ Hey missy missy missy missy ♪

♪ So happy happy happy happy ♪

♪ Let us crawl inside ♪

♪ Your happy life ♪

♪ Such a shiny surface ♪

♪ It must be done on purpose ♪

♪ cr*ck the vessel open ♪

♪ All the bits are broken ♪

♪ Everything
comes floating up ♪♪

[Stephanie]
'Hey, missy.'

You're so pink.
I love it. Is that new?

- Mm-hmm.
- Did you get it in Italy?

'Yeah.'

'Fun.'

So what else is new?

'Um...'

'...well, I heard
you had dinner with Doug.'

What are you doing?

Um, I just, like he, like,
came out of left field

for me and totally took
advantage of...

'I mean, using me
to get back at you and...'

'Yeah, I deleted him
on my phone'

then I got, like,
missed calls from him.

I'm not gonna call him back,
obviously.

[groans]

Are you going
to his party tomorrow?

- I don't know. Are you going?
- Yeah.

So Doug invited you,
but then you

erased him
but you're still gonna go?

No, no, no, this was,
like, weeks ago

before I was even
friends with him.

Oh.

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Destroyer ♪

♪ Yeah boy I'll sink your ship ♪

♪ Destroyer ♪

♪ Don't wanna mess with this ♪

♪ I'm the destroyer ♪

♪ These missiles
I'll let them rip ♪♪

Thanks for helping.

I wanted to do this for you
for your birthday.

As a surprise?

Yes, and I have another
surprise for you.

- Really?
- The best surprise.

Is it my birthday present?

- Maybe.
- Is it, like, a thing?

[knock on door]

Do you have people coming over?

- Hi!
- Hi!

Oh, my God! So good to see you!

- 'Mom's here!'
- Hi, honey.

- Hi, mama.
- 'I can't believe.'

'This is a nice surprise.'

'I can't believe you said mom.'

- Hi, Spencer.
- Hello, how are you, Darlene?

- Good, how are you doing?
- How excited are you?

I am overwhelmed with
excitement and happiness.

[Heidi]
'Anyways, what do you
wanna do while you're here?'

I was just kind of hoping
to be able to spend some time

with you and catch up
and see what's been going on.

- Well, Spencer's here.
- Mm-hmm.

Didn't she,
she didn't know that?

[Heidi]
'No, I, you know,
I haven't really seen you'

and I wasn't gonna just
tell you over the phone.

Well, Heids,
I'm disappointed that

I had to find out from Holly

that you and Spencer
are living together.

[Heidi]
'You think it's easy
for me to, like'

hide, not hide this,
but have not told you yet?

Why did you feel
like you couldn't tell me?

Because I just
didn't want you judging me.

I would have appreciated
having this conversation

ahead of time, alone,
with you and me.

I feel like I'm in a really
awkward position right now.

So am I, because I didn't know
you were just coming.

[Darlene]
'You didn't know I was coming
or you would have hidden him'

before I came? How much longer
were you gonna

keep it a secret?

You just, you don't know
Spencer well enough.

Maybe you and I could have
a chance to just have

lunch together,
maybe just the two of us.

[Spencer]
'I think I know some
great lunch places.'

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh oh oh ♪

♪ When we're kissing
it's always so convincing ♪

♪ That everything
will be alright ♪

♪ After it's over I know
that I don't really love her ♪

♪ All of this is just a lie ♪♪

Well?

- What do we do?
- I don't know.

Lauren knows we went to dinner.

If you get any crap for it,
you know, like I'll back you up.

I'll be like, "Hey, listen,
she didn't do anything wrong."

Boom. Be quiet.

We'll hang out whenever we want.

Like, you should come
to my party.

We'll just play it cool.
You know?

What are Brody
and Frankie saying?

Are they gonna, like,
throw me under the bus?

I haven't talked to them
about it.

I really haven't.

My business is my business.

Any chance he gets,
he's mean to me.

I'll just tell him. He'll chill.
It's on my head. Relax.

Let's come up with something,
like...

Just say it. We're friends.
That's it.

I told you
I'd help you out. Relax.

Don't need to get crazy.

Don't, don't worry.
Everything's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be fine, I promise.

Alright. Are you done
with your drink?

I'm done.

What are you doing after this?

Movie night, or a DVD night?

DVD night.

♪ You're scared right now ♪

♪ You're far away this night ♪

♪ Just take this day by day ♪

♪ And don't look down ♪

♪ Please don't let me ♪

♪ Let me down ♪♪

♪ I said you were
just a short stick ♪

♪ Looking for a hot trick ♪

♪ Do do do do do ♪♪

Everything is smoothed over
with Stephanie, right?

- It's fine.
- It is?

It was weird. I just kind of,
like, brushed it under the rug.

Kind of like, alright, well.

- No point in fighting about it.
- Yeah.

'Then she's like, Yeah, I'm
gonna go to Doug's barbecue.'

But then at the same time, she
was like, "I erased his number."

She's like, "I did this
morning," I'm like...

You erased it this morning?

- That's weird.
- You're going tomorrow, right?

I'll totally come.
I mean, I wanna see Doug.

- You'll hate him.
- I will?

Oh, yeah? Totally, yeah.

'Just trust me.
You'll hate him.'

- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

And then Stephanie
will be there as well?

Here's the thing is for me,
Doug's not worth, like

fighting with a friend over,
but apparently

he was worth it to her,
you know?

♪ To give me breathing space ♪♪

So what up, buddy?
What up, shady guy?

Dude, shady? Come on, man.

You and Steph, I heard you guys
getting pretty cozy lately.

Oh, please.
I just wanna be friends.

Dude, she's hitting me up.
Check out this text, dude.

Like, like co-come watch a movie
late night, like...

She was, like,
out of her mind in Vegas

and I felt bad and she was,
like, hitting me up

'on BBM since we got back.'

Bottom line is I wanted
to be friends with her

she blew it
out of proportion saying

come over late night,
watch movies.

Lauren already knows.
Lauren's tripping.

I mean, at the end of the day

Lauren broke up with me,
you know what I mean?

Is Stephanie coming
to the party tomorrow?

Stephanie's coming,
Lauren's coming.

I'm-I'm just hoping
you don't make her cry.

If she cries, she cries.
It's not my fault.

♪ He looked her in the eye ♪

♪ He said ♪

♪ I don't love you ♪♪

Wow, this is very exciting.

Let's sit right out here.

I'm sure you got a couple
things on your mind.

It was nice of you guys
to let Holly stay with you

for a little while,
till she gets on her feet.

It's nice of Heidi.

I really, to be honest,
wasn't too fond of the idea.

She's just staying there
for a little bit.

Isn't it her intention
to get her own place?

- No.
- Yes, it is.

- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.

Her intention is
to get me out of there

and to live just with Heidi.

Well, maybe that's not
such a bad idea.

What planet are you living on?

That's a horrible idea.

Why do you guys feel
like you need

to live together so soon
in your relationship?

Because why not?

I just wonder if you're
pressuring her into doing

something that she might
not be ready for.

One main thing I love about
Heidi is that she doesn't feel

the need to call her mom
in Crested Butte to get approval

of living with somebody
in a different state.

Maybe she was just afraid
that of what we would say.

And maybe she's afraid
she didn't care anymore

and she didn't wanna
be in that place

where you're telling her
something and she's not

listening and then
that creates a problem.

No?

I don't know, I think

you're very controlling
and manipulative.

Oh, is that what you think
from Crested Butte?

I'm not looking to grill you

and try to make you
uncomfortable.

I don't get uncomfortable,
my dear.

I think you're condescending

rude and very hostile right now.

I think you're totally
taking this the wrong way

'cause I've done nothing
wrong in my opinion.

♪ Hey cool kid
out in the street ♪

♪ Fall in love
or get in a fight ♪

♪ Well I think so ♪♪

- 'Yay, pool party!'
- Hi!

- 'How are you guys?'
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

This is so nice, Frankie.

♪ Hey kid
you're more than I can stand ♪

♪ You're more than I can stand ♪

♪ 'Cause you're
so good-looking now ♪

And I make my trucker hat
look really good.

You're pretty much so much
finer in this trucker hat.

- That's really gross?
- What's gross?

I've kissed two
out of three of those.

'I know,
I was just thinking that.'

That's awful.

♪ Hey kid
you're more than I can stand ♪

♪ You're more than I can stand
'cause you're so ♪♪

- 'Time to cool off, boys.'
- It's so hot.

Do you wanna go inside
for a second?

[screams]
'Oh, my God.'

It's a pool party!

[laughs]

That was not funny.

- Hey, I'm really sorry.
- It's okay.

- Are you mad at me, hate me?
- I don't even know you.

And I don't want to.

[Lauren]
'Oh, God, there goes Brody.'

[Brody]
'Ah, somebody's got
a lot of nerve'

to show her face around here.

I don't even have
anything to say.

- Nothing?
- You're really mean to me.

Stephanie, you have
to understand something.

I was right all along.

'Alright, I told Lauren
not to trust you.'

Listen, I saw all the text
messages you sent to Doug.

Like, come over and watch
a movie late night.

- I know what you were doing.
- I never did that.

How much you wanna bet?
How much you wanna bet?

I saw them. Doug's
one of my best friends.

You really think
I was trying to date him?

I know for 100% fact that
you were telling him

late night to come over
and watch a movie.

And I'm sorry, like,
yes, I know there was

something shady behind that,
and you can sit here and go

"I wasn't doing anything,"
Yeah, right.

- You and I both know.
- I really was not.

But listen, I'm not gonna
talk about that.

You can live, listen,
you can live your life however

with you, live your
life however you want

just don't pretend to be
innocent when you're not.

It's like that's
so obnoxious and annoying.

It's so awkward. Why would he
yell at her at a time like this?

It's so inappropriate.

If you leave, can you take me?
I didn't drive here.

I'm-I'm totally serious.

Totally serious.

I'll walk. I'm not that far.
Down there.

It may take me, like, an hour.
It's worth it.

I'm totally wearing
a sheer dress

but I'll walk down
Sunset Boulevard in it.

♪ Remember when we
had it all it all ♪

♪ She said she said she said ♪

♪ We stood strong
we stood so tall and said ♪

♪ He said he said ♪♪

- Would you like
something to drink?

Hi, yes, actually.
May I have a black tea?

- Me, too, please, same thing.
- Thank you.

It's so nice to have
lunch with you today.

It's so nice to have
lunch with you.

A special treat.

I'm usually just
so crazy with work

and balancing Spencer,
and Holly, and...

Has that been hard for you?

I wish she wouldn't
have told you about

Spencer moving back in.

I don't understand why you

felt like you couldn't
tell me that.

I thought I owed it
to myself and to Spencer

to make a decision for myself.

Not everybody's input...

Everybody? I'm not everybody.
I'm your mother.

Because before
it was your opinion that

I took most of all,
not even my own.

And now you're just
listening to Spencer

and now you're going
from one to the other.

This is my life, you know.

And I wanna be able to make
decisions for myself.

Well, at lunch,
Spencer was really rude

and condescending to me.

I'm sorry. What did he say?
What happened?

'He was just really sarcastic.'

I would appreciate
a little more respect.

I think that's disrespectful,
you know

maybe he doesn't want you to be
as close to your family.

Please don't be silly.

I'm trying to explain
how I felt.

That's why I didn't tell because
right here you're judging...

We never used
to argue like this.

I'm just...

Mom!

Maybe I'm being too controlling

but it's hard for me.

'I just don't wanna lose you.'

I just want you to be happy
and whatever that is

that's what I want for you.

♪ Tell me if what I'm sensing ♪

♪ Is something
that I am inventing ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm just not
that good ♪

♪ At knowing what can't be
from what could ♪♪

[Brody]
'Yeah, she was Spencer's
crazy little sister'

and I know for 100% fact
she was going behind

Lauren's back being all shady
with the whole Doug thing

and she's just sitting there
trying to play like

"Oh, I'm so innocent,
I'm not doing anything wrong."

What?

You know, 'cause you
showed me the text.

You were like, ha ha, look.

I just can't believe
this is an issue.

What are you talking about?

So I can't go have dinner with
another girl if we're friends?

No, no, no, dinner
with a friend is maybe like

"Let's go to Jerry's deli
and grab some food."

I wasn't trying
to hook up with her.

I wasn't trying to date her,
I was trying

'to help the girl out
because she was lost.'

She's like a lost puppy. I
wanted nothing to do with her.

I want nothing to do with her.
I don't, that's it.

But you know what's really
funny is for someone who

really feels like they did
nothing wrong

you've spent a really
a long time defending it.

Like, that's all
I've heard is like

you and Stephanie
have been like, oh.

[Doug]
'If I was taking her out
and going in public'

'with her other than that,
yeah.'

In public, you took her out.
You went in public with her.

No, I didn't. I went to dinner
and then, dude.

And then what?
What else went on?

'No, I went to dinner
and that was it.'

Two dinners?

It wasn't, we did not have
two dinners. No, we didn't.

- 'Coffee then.'
- Oh, you had coffee too?

Who cares? I had coffee,
dinner, whatever it was.

Okay. It's, like,
really common sense.

You're like my ex-fling.

I mean, wh-wh-what is that?

- Fling?
- And that's when I leave.

I-I-I-I don't feel like
I did anything wrong here.

At the end of the day,
you should have just

not gone to dinner
like we told you.

[Brody]
'I found out from my mom,
because you lied to the homies'

'and said you weren't gonna go
to dinner with Stephanie.'

I don't care about that!

You're acting like you guys
have been friends for years.

Everyone can be mad at me.

At the end of the day,
I did nothing wrong

'and that's all I'm saying.'

- Are you okay?
- 'What?'

Are you okay?

I was just, like, wait,
don't go out there like that.

Come here.
Let me get you a tissue.

Look at me. Look up.

I cannot believe Brody and Doug.

They're the worst,
like, trying to come

in between our friendship.

Like, I just never
wanna hang out with Doug

or Brody ever again
if they're just

gonna do this
'cause it's just...

Well, I think Brody's kind
of a lost cause, I don't think

you guys are gonna be able work
it out to be honest.

Uh, but I'm saying I'm never
coming, like, when you guys

all hang out, like I just can't
come if they're just

like out to try to * * * me
over with you, like...

They're not, Steph,
we're just...

...honestly, something happened

and it got blown out
of proportion, it sucks.

But, like, you and Doug
shouldn't have done

what you did, and it sucks,
but it's done, you know?

I didn't know
you did coffee too.

I didn't know you guys
went to coffee too.

'Cause I went there
to go tell him, like

you're getting
the wrong impression.

- You're the one calling me...
- Steph!

'I'm so sorry.'

♪ All the words that you say ♪

♪ The flowers you've laid ♪

♪ Are all falling backwards ♪

♪ The places and names ♪

♪ The fortune and fame ♪

♪ Are all falling backwards ♪

♪ You're still two months
from home ♪

♪ You feel so alone ♪

♪ It's all falling backwards ♪

♪ Falling backwards ♪♪