04x19 - Mr. and Mrs. Pratt

[bunniefuu]

Ho-ho!

Viva la Mexico.

Whoo!

- We're here. Hello.
- Yes. Hello.

Oh, wow, it is hot.

Oh, my gosh,
look at the ocean.

- Wow!
- Look at this.

This is insane.

[sighs]
I love it here so much.

[Heidi]
Yeah, I think it's nice
to get out of town

and everything, you know,
but why now?

Our relationship always is the
best when it's just you and me.

I feel like
it's always other people

who are trying to tear us apart.

Whether it's your
former best friends

or your sister
or your mom or my sister.

Just when it's not that,
it's work.

I feel like I was never
gonna see you, so...

Well, I must say, Mr. Pratt

this is definitely
one of your best surprises.

I have a feeling, my dear

this will be the most memorable
vacation of your life.

- Buckle up, baby.
- 'Buckle up.'

♪ You know you love it
you know you need it ♪

♪ You got to have it it's the
one thing on your mind ♪

♪ You know you love it
first time you see it ♪

♪ You got to have it can't
resist don't even try ♪

♪ You know you love it ♪

♪ You know you love it ♪♪

[cell phone rings]

- Hi, Alixe, how are you?
- ' Hi, Whitney.'

[indistinct conversation
on phone]

Oh, my gosh, thank you so much.

- That's unbelievable.
- 'Congratulations.'

- I got the job.
- No.

[Whitney]
'Honestly, thank you so much.'

Just tell me when
and I'll be there.

Okay. Alright, bye.

- I got the job.
- No, you didn't.

'I swear.'

- Aah!
- Aah!

- Oh, my God.
- I know.

- Are you taking it?
- I just have to go for it.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Dude, Diane Von Furstenberg.

- I know. It's so crazy.
- You're like big time.

You have the perfect job
and the perfect boyfriend.

You're gonna
leave behind everything

and just have a perfect life.

I can't think about it
like that.

I don't wanna get my hopes up.

I'm going there for the job.
I'm going there for the job.

Okay, Whitney, we get it.
You're not going for a guy.

There's just a guy there
that you should date

and it's amazing.

Oh, my God, I have to
call my parents.

- Oh, they're gonna freak out.
- Call them.

We have to celebrate.

Yeah, I think we can have
a little goodbye drinks.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

♪ You look so good in Mexico ♪

♪ You're always
the star of the show ♪

♪ You look so good in Mexico ♪♪

- I have champagne.
- Whoa-ha-ha-ho.

Now we're talking.

This is a delivery service
if I've ever seen one.

Thank you.
Whoo! Look at me. Pro, pro.

Monsieur, may I get you
some champagne?

Of course.

This here.

It's so romantic.

Oh, whoa, we're getting
cozy like this.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

'Have you stopped
stressin' out yet?'

Yeah, I think the champagne
took it all away.

When we met, you really
never got stressed out.

'You were such, like,
a carefree party animal...'

I know, I didn't have my mom
yelling at me and my sister...

This is the reason
why I brought you here

"cause this is our life.'

It's time
for Heidi and Spencer time.

Well, I'll really work on not
letting my family affect me.

And I will work on trying to
not let your family affect me.

♪ She won't kiss and tell ♪

♪ But this isn't hell ♪

♪ She got that name
it all seems like a game ♪

♪ How she moves so well ♪

♪ I won't call this hell ♪

♪ If I had to guess
I'd say we have a mess ♪

♪ You could sell ♪♪

[doorbell rings]

- I love this.
- 'You like it?'

- I like all the plants.
- Isn't it pretty?

- Justin's here.
- Hi.

- Hi. Good morning.
- How you doin'?

Good morning. How you doing?

I didn't know you guys
were still hangin' out.

- Oh, yeah.
- Have a seat.

What have you been up to?

- How you guys right now?
- We're good.

- 'Really?'
- How are you?

- Have you talked to Heidi?
- I wrote her a few days ago.

- I haven't heard back from her.
- We had to go shopping.

- She just never showed?
- No.

And, for us, to have plans
is kind of a big deal

'because Spencer and I
aren't really getting along.'

Heidi and my mom talk every day.

They're really close
and even my mom

doesn't know where they are.

Maybe they're in Santa Barbara.

'They always go up there.'

But they would need keys
from my parents.

See, my mom and I have, like,
gone through the list of places.

Hm.

It's just, like, really uncool

if they did go somewhere and
they had to take a plane ride.

Our, like, rule in our family
is you call before you take off

and you call
right when you land.

For them just
to kinda disappear is weird.

You should put up some signs.

♪ 'Cause if it's good
be all about it uh-huh ♪

♪ You know you should
be all about it ♪

♪ Alright now don't hold back ♪

♪ Be all about it
'bout it 'bout it 'bout it ♪

♪ Just like that ♪♪

Aah!

Mmm.

Ah, oh!

[chuckles]

That's a move.

Arriba.

Are you even gonna remember
this conversation tomorrow?

I know how you are
after a little Patron.

Um, what if we were
to just go get married

and then don't tell anybody
and then it's just us.

You're loco en la cabeza,
senor...

For real, for real.

Think you've had one
too many Patron sh*ts.

No, for real.
Let's just go get married.

For real, Jose.

That's the only way
it's ever gonna work out.

- I'm being serious and...
- Well, me too.

- 'Okay.'
- Okay.

Dos sh*ts Patron.

Or your, your most
top-shelf tequila.

- Even above Patron.
- 'Sure.'

- Mucho gracias.
- 'You're welcome.'

Aah, you know what
Patron does to me.

- What?
- Gets me crazy.

♪ Switch it up ♪

♪ I like the things you do ♪

♪ Switch it up ♪

♪ Always something new ♪

♪ Never stop switching ♪♪

[laughing]

Hello!

I see balloons.

Where there's balloons,
there's a party.

When does Whitney
actually leave?

I think in a couple days.

I know, I know.
I can't even talk about it.

I'm really sad.

Cheers.

[all]
Cheers.

[Whitney]
Thanks for coming, guys.

Hi. How are you?

- You look so pretty.
- Thank you.

- Hi. How are you, sweetie?
- I'm good.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

- Hi. Oops!
- Oops!

- I just stepped on your foot.
- Okay.

- 'How are you?'
- 'I'm good.'

[Lauren]
'I love your balloons.'

You're coming back. You'll come
back every weekend and see us.

Yo, yo.

[laughs]

Don't worry, dad.
I'll be back.

It's sad.

I'm really proud of her though.

It's a big deal to move
across the country, like...

She has, like,
one friend in New York.

- What?
- 'And a boy.'

You may have a crush on him,
but you're not dating him yet.

I'm not dating him.
That's very true.

Well, Stephanie came over today.

'She said Heidi and Spencer
just totally disappeared.'

Hey, everybody.
I just wanted to make a toast.

We couldn't be more proud of
the fact that you've progressed

'the way you have with dignity.'

'We hope that
you have all the success.'

And we hope that you may be
even convince them that

you can run their West Coast
office and be back here shortly.

- Love you and...
- And be safe.

And be safe.

[all]
Cheers.

And come home.

[chuckles]

Okay.

It hasn't really hit me yet.

Oh, mom.

You made mom cry.

[sniffles]

You okay?

This is, I have to stop.

Okay, girls, so what's new?

[chuckles]

[Lauren]
'I told Whitney I might cry'

but I was like,
it's not real to me yet.

♪ To the past is lost ♪

♪ And all that's left
is a faint memory ♪

♪ Lay here with me ♪

Whitney's been
my advice-giver for many years.

I'm gonna be like,
"Whitney, I like this boy

who doesn't like me.
What do I do?"

And she'll be like,
"Well, Lauren..."

It's been a long run with us.

Oh my God, don't talk about it.
Don't talk about it.

As soon as it hits me
is when I'll kinda break down

and call you guys.

♪ Before we count up ♪

♪ What does it cost ♪

♪ Before the present
to the past is lost ♪

♪ And all that's left
is a faint memory ♪

♪ Lay here with me ♪♪

Oh, you're gnarly.
Did you just finish that?

I am being so serious.
I want to go marry you.

I don't know, Spence.

- I feel like your mom...
- We don't have to tell...

- Your nana, your mum...
- That's the whole point.

It's a secret Mexico wedding.
It's for us.

'It's like we've been
through so much and my...'

I just, I just don't want
to be in a relationship

that's not going anywhere.
I'm ready to get married...

What do you mean
it's not going anywhere?

Of course, it's going somewhere.

'Where? We're never
gonna get married...'

- Yes, we are...
- With your family.

Your mom will never
approve of it.

And you don't have
to tell anyone.

It's our secret marriage.

No drama, no stress.
Just you and me.

- No planning.
- Are you serious?

I mean, it will be so crazy.

Hasn't our relationship
been that pretty much?

Do you think we should
really do it?

Heidi Montag, when I'm with you,
you make me wanna be nicer

and that's why I just
am madly obsessed with you

and it's pretty apparent
the fact that I haven't left

your side
in nearly two and a half years

and I pretty much keep you
from the whole world.

You're just my angel.

Let's just do it.
We'll tell nobody.

It'll just be you and me,
about us, for us.

- You promise?
- I promise.

It has nothing to do
with anybody but us.

Let's just go do it.
Let's just...

Just do it.

- You sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure.

Let's do it.

Whoa!

Save some for the honeymoon, yo.

I'll show you what a wife does.

♪ The prayer for me is gone ♪

♪ I will love you ♪

♪ Until this heart
that beats is done ♪

Alright, let's go do this.

- I'm gonna go get married.
- I know.

♪ I will love you ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I will love you ♪♪

♪ Fly with the way I'm feeling ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm here
and I'm ready for anything ♪

♪ Gonna yell it
from the rooftops ♪

♪ Over the city ♪

♪ Across the world ♪

♪ I'm ready for anything ♪♪

It's so weird to me still.

It doesn't feel like
you're leaving yet.

I know. I just
can't even imagine

like, living in the city.

It's like when I go
to the grocery store

do I take a cab there and just
bring all my groceries with me?

Do I get a bicycle
and get, like, a basket

and carry everything inside?

I don't know.

I'm gonna be sitting at my desk

staring at my computer
with no one to look to.

No, you'll make
new good friends.

No one like you though.

I feel like we've really
grown up with each other.

My first memory of you
is our first day.

We had our hair all done
and they changed our outfits.

I would dare someone to come
change your outfit now.

When someone was like,
that's a little...

- Matchy, matchy.
- Matchy, matchy.

That was totally our first day.
Oh, my God.

Was the DKNY show
the first thing we did?

- No, the...
- The young Hollywood party.

When I let Heidi in.

If we only knew then
what we know now.

Seriously, that seems
like so long ago.

Mm.

Don't cry.

I kind of went into it
looking at it as a job

and I didn't expect
to get a friend.

Never.

I really think that we got so
lucky to have found each other.

I'm so proud of you and, like,
so excited you're going away.

Just it's a little sad.

[sniffles]

- I know. I know.
- 'I'm sorry.'

I'm really excited
for you though.

I'm honestly, like, so touched
that we've, like, come this far.

Are you ready?

♪ One moment ♪

♪ Imprinted ♪

♪ Inside my mind ♪

Oh, I love you so much.

I love you too.

- Okay.
- Don't cry.

- I love you. Call me, okay?
- 'I love you too.'

'I'll call you once I'm there.'

♪ If it's all ♪

♪ I can take ♪

♪ I'll remember it all ♪

♪ Remember it all ♪

♪ If it's all ♪

♪ I can take ♪

♪ I'll remember it all ♪

♪ Remember it all ♪♪

- You're yawning?
- I am worn out.

I just got married, I'm b*at.

- 'Hello, Mrs. Pratt.'
- Hello, Mr. Pratt.

Oh, wow, I love saying that.

You're the most
amazing wife ever.

You had this plan
the whole time.

We were gonna come here
and get married.

The day before
I booked the trip.

I didn't know if I could
actually get you to do it.

Think the Patron
helped a little bit.

A lot bit.

You didn't feel too good
last night, did you?

Well, don't give me
too much tequila.

'I'm so hung over.'

I can't believe we did this.

Oh, let's watch the tape.

We got footage of that.

- Oh! Oh!
- Oh!

Almost dropped the camera.

Look at this.

'This is it,
right after, walking out.'

[Heidi]
'Wow!'

[chuckles]

[Spencer]
'What were you really thinking
when we walked in that chapel?'

[Heidi]
'I just didn't think
you were gonna do it.'

'I was just nervous and scared.'

[Spencer]
'Oh, I don't think
I've ever been that nervous'

'in my whole life
and I was just like'

'"I'm getting married right now.
This is crazy."'

'And I got nobody
here to watch.'

'Not one person.'

I can't believe we did this.

[Spencer on camera]
'Don't get overwhelmed
with that bling, baby.'

Oh, nice ring.

[Heidi on camera]
Mine too.

'Little Zsa Zsa rock here.'

That's a Cabo special
right here.

- I don't know about this.
- This is my Cabo special.

You naughty wife.

[Heidi]
'Look at that dress.
It worked out so perfectly.'

'And the bouquet.'

'Look at that chapel.'

'I just can't believe it.'

'It was just so romantic
and on a whim and...'

Unbelievable.

[Spencer]
'That's enough of this for now.'

[Heidi]
'That's amazing.'

My mom is gonna freak.

'I don't even know
what to tell her'

because she's gonna k*ll me.

I thought
you weren't tellin' her.

I mean, how can you not tell
somebody something like this?

Like...

She is, like,
really gonna have an issue

with us being married,
I think.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Been waiting on an answer ♪

♪ To something that's been
on your mind ♪

♪ They tell you to be patient ♪

♪ That all will be revealed
in time ♪

♪ Oh ♪

Thank you for coming,
Mr. and Mrs. Pratt.

Adios.

♪ So you keep on
treading water ♪

♪ Just waiting
for the tide to turn ♪

♪ And wondering all the while ♪

♪ When will it get easier? ♪

♪ Come tomorrow ♪

♪ Come tomorrow ♪

♪ Come tomorrow ♪

♪ And leave today
to yesterday ♪♪