01x03 - Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Hot

[bunniefuu]

[melodic chime]

Haley's a great kisser.
She is a phenomenal kisser

and I wouldn't mind kissing her again.

They've just kissed goodbye to $3,000,

literally.

Now that me and Francesca have kissed,
we are not gonna tell a soul.

Everyone else is gonna get blamed,
and I wanna sit back and watch.

We have to be like...

- "Who did that?"
- "What the f*ck?"

[they laugh]

I just need some popcorn.

I'm gonna sit back
and enjoy the reactions,

'cause I know it's gonna be f*cking epic.

I'm just nervous now
to see what's to come.

So much has happened
in the last few days.

[Haley] Hey, act cool. Be casual.

That's it, girls.

Be casual. Avoid all suspicion...

by climbing into bed together.

Either way, it's gonna shake everyone up,
'cause no one's gonna think it was us.

Yeah, but we know it was you.

So, the cameras will be keeping
a close eye on you all night.

- Good night!
- Good night, everyone.

Activate night vision.

[snoring]

[snoring continues]

Is that Sharron waking up Rhonda?

Maybe he's had a nightmare
and needs soothing?

Oh, no. He's just horny.

I'm about to go get in the shower.

You could join me...

if you want?

Lana can still see you in the shower.
You know that, right?

[Sharron] I can't stop thinking about sex.

She's just a walking temptation.
Her body is amazing.

[Rhonda] You feel like
you're at your breaking point now?

At the end of the day, I'm a guy.

Not that we're weak or anything, but...

sex is like brushing your teeth.

I mean it is, but...

[Rhonda] We have such a sexual chemistry.

He's a very tempting person.

But Lana has these rules in place.

I feel like...

[sighs] I'm trying to take these steps
and follow the rules

so that maybe it can...
Like, more can come from this.

I mean, how much longer

you think you're gonna be able
to keep doing this?

I don't know how long
I can go without sex.

I mean, I am a sex icon.

You got up at 2:30 a.m. to tell us that?

[Sharron] Sleep on it.

- Think about it.
- I'm always sleeping on it.

Wait, you guys are sleeping on it
in separate beds though, right?

Phew!

♪ Body do the talking ♪

Unbelievably,
no one broke the rules last night.

I know someone
who will be happy about that.

I will turn this water into wine
and feed you bread

if you just keep your penises
in your pants. Yeah!

♪ Hallelujah! ♪

Jesus. Rock and roll Jesus.

I thought that was Bono.

Last night,

Sharron woke up Rhonda,

and then they go into the dressing room.

They're being little sketch bags.
They could bang at any point,

and they're just gonna deny it.

This is the retreat pot.

Me and Haley are just gonna...

We're just gonna stir it. We're so evil.

What I love about these two

is their mature approach
to resolving tensions within the group.

Okay. So, if...

Lana tonight

drops the news that 3K was lost,
are you gonna blame it on them?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

There we go.

Me and Fran want to have
the best time we possibly can,

and literally, this is our, like...

What's the word when...

What's the word when you, like,
get, like, a sign of, like, hope?

Optimism? Faith? Excitement?

Uh, the... A loophole?

This is like our loophole.

I'm pretty sure that's not the word
you're looking for.

[Chloe] Energies are good today.

- They are. The vibes are good.
- Everyone's, like, so horny.

I know, it's so funny.
I'm loving it, though.

[David] There's definitely a connection
and a vibe

and a chemistry going on with Chloe.

I mean, she's sexy as f*ck.
You can't deny that.

What are you thinking?

I think that we took Lana's word
really seriously and straightforward.

Yeah, I'm here for self-development,
but sometimes you've gotta...

- Let loose.
- Balance it out.

- Let loose a little bit, you know?
- Yeah.

- I'm feeling like a rebel.
- I could feel you were horny last night.

[Chloe squeals]

[Chloe] Last night,
me and Dave went on a date.

There is definitely
sexual chemistry there.

But whether it's anything more,
I'm not too sure.

With sexual tension rising in the retreat,

Lana has picked the perfect time
for her first workshop.

[melodic chime]
Workshops will provide my guests

with the essential tools
to become authentically connected

with each other and themselves,

steering them away
from meaningless hook-ups,

and towards long-lasting relationships.

[narrator] The lady in red is not
a new guest sent to tempt them,

by the way.

She's Shan, an expert in Shibari,

an ancient Japanese technique

used to improve intimacy and trust
in relationships.

[Shan] I think having the Shibari Workshop
towards the beginning of their retreat

is so important.

Even though it is bondage, which can
tend to seem a bit more risque...

- [record scratch]
- Bondage?

Of course, the perfect way
to take your mind off sex.

Why didn't I think of that?

...it really does teach people
how to trust,

which is the foundation
for any long-lasting relationship.

[David] Hello.

What's up, everybody!?

[they cheer]

- Hey!
- Hey, hey, hey!

In their infinite wisdom
and relentless pursuit of entertainment,

the producers have paired up

Sharron and Rhonda,

Chloe and David,

Nicole and Matthew,

Haley and Kelz.

Oh, and Harry and Francesca.

Oh, f*ck.

This couldn't be better.

I think Francesca's definitely annoyed,

but a little bit of black rope
and a bit of a bondage session

will change anyone's perspective
on any situation.

I'm here to teach a workshop on Shibari.

[Haley] What's it called?

Shabology?

- Shibari.
- Sabori?

- Shibari.
- Shobori?

- Shibari.
- What's the word?

Shibari!

Have you guys ever played before
with bondage,

with handcuffs, with restraints?

Duh. How do you think
they got picked for this show?

- You ready for this?
- No.

[Chloe whoops]

Yes! I am so excited
to be paired up with Chloe.

♪ Oh, to get, get
To, to slide with me, slide with me ♪

Ohh! It feels so good!

Shibari is based in power play,
but in a really unexpected way.

Because, truly,
when you're the person with the rope,

when you're the rigger,

you're actually the one who
is surrendering and trusting your partner.

[Haley] I'm nervous.

I think I'm happy with this, actually.

How tight do you want things?
How much pressure?

Does this feel good for you?

- [Kelz] It's like your portable gym bag.
- [laughter]

- [Kelz] It comes in black leather.
- [Haley] What?

All right?

They're teaching them the principles
of how to take that same language

and apply it to every other facet
of their intimate connections.

- I can't get out of this one.
- [Kelz] No, you can't.

Getting Haley to trust me,

to put her in that kind of
compromising position,

I like the fact
that she was able to trust me.

That was... That meant a lot to me.

Get it in there. Shove it.

The hardest part
about the whole Shibari experiences

was acting like
I had never done that before.

So, I think it goes down.

I was, like, "Oh, what knot is this?

Wow.

Never done that before."

Oh, Jesus, you naughty boy.

♪ There's got to be a reason ♪

♪ That we're this way in the first place ♪

Ooh, this looks awkward.

Walk away now
if you're not feeling it, but...

- I'm...
- Obviously, I'm not feeling it.

Yeah. But I'm here, like, open arms.

If you don't want to be mature
and talk about it, that's cool.

I'm not...

Me doing this is not me being immature.
It's just me standing my ground.

[Francesca] I think
he's still a piece of sh*t,

but I do want to embrace the process.

So, how are you guys doing?
Talk me through what's going on.

There's been a bit of drama
the past couple of days.

- Yes.
- I apologized.

It was a sh*t situation. The best thing
to do is be adults and move on.

And what do you want?

I just don't really want to...

be around someone
who, like, hurt me like that, so...

This is a chance for you guys to play,
to try something new, to experiment.

Use your feelings to your advantage.
You don't have to push them down.

- Okay? All right.
- [Francesca] Okay.

[Harry] You want to hug it out?

Ah, that's better.

All they need to do now

is take a leaf out of
Sharron and Rhonda's book of bondage.

- [Rhonda gasps]
- You wanna play all day.

[Rhonda] You know what, I...
Stop. I said stop.

- [Sharron] That's cool.
- [Rhonda] No.

This is not about...

It's not about that.

I don't look at him and just see sex,

and I don't feel like he looks at me
and just sees sex.

Really? 'Cause his tongue looks like
it's telling a different story.

Definitely missing sex right now.
I feel like...

I lost my best friend.

This feel good to you?

[she giggles]

- I miss you, sex.
- See, I told you.

- [Shan] You have done a stunning job.
- [David] A great job.

- [Chloe] Does it turn you on, or not?
- Not massively.

Oh, David, that is not
what she wants to hear.

[Chloe] I'm very indecisive about David.

I'm trying to understand
a deeper connection

and if there is one.

And if there is isn't,
what is there between us?

[David] Can you take this off now?

Yeah. I'm sorry.

Something tells me
Chloe's about to cut you loose, David.

[Harry yells] Rope burn.

How is this fun for anyone?

[Francesca] I like this.

- This is fun for me.
- [Harry laughs]

Well, it certainly didn't take these two
long to get into the swing of things.

[Francesca] Tying him up was great,
'cause I was kind of hurting him.

I had a bit of pent-up aggression
that I needed to get out.

- Lana!
- She's getting out some frustration!

- Help me!
- [laughter]

Who knew bondage, I mean, Shibari,

could get Fran
almost trusting Harry again?

I can't say you're Shibari masters,
but you're definitely on your way.

The Shibari worked wonders
for me and Francesca.

- I like that. Do it again.
- Doesn't hurt?

[Harry] I know she wants me.

And I'm sure we learned a couple of things

that me and her would definitely use later
or in the future.

Wishful thinking, you cheeky little dingo.

Following the Shibari Workshop,

Rhonda is trying to untangle her feelings,

while Sharron is hiding his

under a large orange cushion.

You know how Lana's trying
to help us develop, like...

So, are you not caring
about the lesson at the end,

- or are you just like, "f*ck it"?
- I think Lana's already helped me.

She showed me that I can go
a little bit longer than I think,

- so I think I...
- That's it?

Yeah. I think that's...

- I got out of it what I was supposed to.
- That's it?

What's the longest you've gone
without sex? Or doing anything?

Can't tell you.

Because you haven't had to.

Wow.

I genuinely like you.

I genuinely want to get to know you...

but I also don't want...

anything to mess it up.

[Sharron] Definitely afraid of
developing a soft spot for Rhonda.

I've had my heart broke.
My ex left me for my best friend.

The pain I felt, I just never wanted
to feel that pain again.

♪ They say I'm living in a dream ♪

[Sharron] I like you, right?

But then, it's also too early to see.

[Rhonda] I do have feelings for Sharron.

He is being 100 percent honest with me,
which I completely respect and appreciate,

but I don't wanna get hurt.

♪ It's all good, it can get even better ♪

♪ A blue sky, there's only sunny weather ♪

♪ It's a perfect day
Ain't nothing wrong ♪

♪ 'Cause everything's all right ♪

[David] It's been nice
hanging out with you.

- Yeah.
- To be honest, you are a wonderful person.

Honestly,
I think Chloe and I are compatible.

She's lovely and I do have a flirt.

We do have a laugh
and, like, I love being around her.

You're beautiful, as well,
and it's just, like...

we both had sexual chemistry
and sexual tension.

Do you know what I mean?

[unenthusiastically] Yeah.

Like, the date was really good.

- Like, sexual chemistry was there.
- [he laughs]

I feel like there's a "but" coming.

But I think I'm not convinced

that we would be anything,
like, seriously more.

Yeah.

[Chloe] David's a lovely guy, but,

at the end of the day,

there's no spark there.

♪ This time, no one can pretend ♪

I'm glad we've had that chat, anyway.

[David] Yeah. It's cool.

♪ This is how the story ends ♪

[David groans]

That is frustrating.

I can't remember
the last time that happened,

but there's plenty more days
to focus my attentions elsewhere.

Are you gonna try and hug me in a...
What's this called again?

[Chloe] Bathing suit.

- Hammock, is what I was gonna say.
- Oh!

[she giggles]

Oh, David. The only one Chloe is ever
going to ask you to help her get out of

is the hammock.

After a day of building trust,

Lana's preparing to unleash a prize drop
that could untie all of their good work.

♪ Wanna do
What have I got to do? ♪

And no one is expecting it.

Well, almost no one.

[Haley] I think one thing I'm thinking is,

if someone blames us,
we need to laugh about it

- and not be defensive.
- Yeah.

I think we need to be like,
"Oh, yeah, it's us."

- For sure.
- Know what I mean?

It's almost like you've done this before.

[melodic chime]

[they laugh nervously]

Hello, Haley. Hello, Francesca.

- Hi, Lana.
- Hi.

Please join the rest of the guests
at the fire pit.

- Will do.
- Okay.

[Haley] I can't wait for Lana
to drop the b*mb,

and I can't wait for everyone
to go off on everyone except for me.

♪ I wanna do whatever I wanna do ♪

♪ 'Cause it feels good ♪

♪ To be bad ♪

The moment Haley and Francesca
have been waiting for.

What does Lana have in store for us,
I wonder?

[David] I'm hoping it's positive.

Time to get your game faces on, girls.

Cheers to Lana.

- Cheers to Lana.
- Cheers to Lana.

[melodic chime]

[they mutter]

- Hello.
- [Kelz] Hello!

- [Chloe] Hello.
- [Matthew] What up?

[Lana] There was a breach of the rules,

and money has been deducted
from the prize fund.

[Chloe] What?

[Rhonda] Seriously?

What?

[narrator] Ooh, she's good,

but every leading lady
needs a good supporting actress.

How'd... What?

[gasps] "Who was it?"

[gasps] "No!"

[squeals] "How dare you!"

[narrator] Bravo, ladies. Bravo.

[Matthew] Bro, she lyin', bro.
She's lying.

- Who the f*ck had sex?
- [narrator] That's right, Nicole.

At least someone here is pure
and respectful of Lana's rules.

[Nicole] Oh, my God. I'm so jealous.

I would've loved to get down and dirty.

[narrator] That's it, I give up.

- For f*ck's sake, man.
- [Chloe] What?

If anyone's broken the rules,
you know you've broken the rules.

[Kelz] I feel disappointed.

You know the bill's gonna come.
I'm just waiting for the bill to come.

If you have, you might as well own up now.

I'm in shock right now.
Like, this is crazy.

We should win an award
for our acting skills.

[narrator] Yeah, and get a fine
for your kissing skills.

[Lana] You have lost $3,000.

- All right, so someone's kissed!
- Ah, someone's...

I don't mean this in a bad way,
but, you know,

you guys did the strawberry thing, like,
do you think Lana took that...?

- Nah, didn't touch.
- [Haley] They didn't touch?

He spat the strawberry out of his mouth
after he put his teeth into it.

- Harry?
- It wasn't me. No, you can't look at me.

Apparently, someone else
has been hooking up,

and there's absolutely no chance
that it was me.

I mean, I... Maybe it was you two.

I hate to be accused.

I think that's probably one of the things
I hate the most.

I think you guys
are holding something back.

When you pulled her
into the dressing room last night.

I don't need to do anything sexual
to validate a relationship.

[Haley] Why are you so defensive?

This is the best time I've had
this whole time.

I came with my guard up. I don't think
I'm gonna leave here in a relationship.

[narrator] Can somebody take
that shovel away from Sharron

before he digs his own grave?

I don't think
I'm going to leave with love.

[narrator] Actually, I think Rhonda
might dig it for him.

I don't know what to say about it. [sighs]

The prize fund now stands at $94,000.

- Better than zero.
- It's better than zero,

but if we don't know who done it,
then it's like, sh*t, who do we watch?

The most important thing here
is being honest,

and to admit and own up
to when we f*ck up.

If...

it isn't them, who is it?

- I'm over this. I can't.
- Yeah.

- Do you want to go?
- Yeah, let's go.

[narrator] Are you trying to
frame yourselves?

What if they f*cking kissed or some sh*t?

I legitimately think that

if there's anybody I can't trust,
it's Francesca and Haley.

The most manipulative person in the house
is hanging out with the most...

mindless human on Earth.

Does anyone see any issues with this?

No?

Okay. [laughs]

[Francesca and Haley giggle]

[Francesca sighs and laughs]

High-five.

"Sharron. We all know you're lying.

We all know it!"

What a d*ck! I got your back, Rhonda!

Me and Francesca pulled it off.

Everything worked exactly how we wanted.

Me and Francesca are geniuses.

[they sing gibberish]

Beauty and brains. What are the chances?

♪ Bad girl ♪

After the shock of the prize drop,

and the even bigger shock
of Sharron's revelation,

Rhonda wants some answers.

What is going on with you?
Like, what was that?

Like, why are you so upset?

Like, seriously.

So...

I don't do well with being accused, right?

- Yeah.
- Cool.

It's one thing to ask me
if I did something,

and it's another thing
to point fingers, right?

I just felt like...

you put a wall up,
or you already have a wall up.

I think highly of you. I respect you.
You're a stand-up person.

You're a wonderful woman.

- We're still early in the retreat.
- Yeah.

[he sighs]

You gotta understand,

I've been so scarred from my past
that it's just like,

I don't give people opportunities.

Okay.

I sense some serious trust issues.

Someone get these two
some bondage gear fast.

[Rhonda] Yeah.

Like... I think the last thing I want
is to get my heart broke again.

My ex already had cheated on me
for my best friend.

The sh*t that I felt after that,
like, I never want to feel again.

My heart's like...

"Remember what you went through.
Remember the pain you felt."

But my mind is like, "She's amazing.

She's beautiful. She's smart.

We have a lot of similar qualities."

You've been hurt, and I get it.

You've only been in one relationship,
but I've been hurt, too.

I've been hurt three times.
You've been hurt once.

- Yeah, but...
- I know hurt. You know hurt. I understand.

If I knew how to rebuild, Sharron,

I wouldn't be here.

What is it going to take to have you...

put the wall down just,
like, a little bit for me?

[Sharron] It's going to take more
than just connecting with you.

At the end of the day,
me knowing myself...

- You don't see it happening.
- ...I don't see it.

Because my guard is up, I can't expect you
to wait around and just keep chasing me.

[Rhonda] I'm just gonna continue
to stay focused on myself

and just move on from there,

'cause Sharron is not able to open up.

I don't know...

if he's necessarily

going to be the one
that I want him to be

in the end.

You know, I'm trying to move forward.
I mean, I can't do it alone.

I feel like I need to be open
with other guys.

Yo, I've lost the team 6K already.

- [Francesca laughs]
- Oh, my God, I know.

I want Lana
to f*ck with everyone else but me.

'Cause she's already
f*cked with me enough.

- So... it's payback.
- What if she calls us out?

[she gasps]

- No. She wouldn't call me and Harry out.
- She wouldn't. No, yeah.

[Francesca] If she says it was us,
we're f*cked.

Obviously, as we know,
money's been taken from the prize fund.

Someone here
that is not telling the truth,

and I have to get to the bottom of this.

Let's just rule out
who we think it definitely isn't.

- I can promise you.
- [Chloe] Right. Matthew.

Obviously, it's not me.

Nicole. Me. I know it isn't me.

- Yeah.
- Sharron.

I want to believe him so bad, but I just...

They went in the middle of the night.
I'm not gonna rule them out.

Who else is there?

Don't put anything past Francesca.

She was sitting at that fire pit
last night

and she was smirking and whispering
the whole time.

Yeah. You know,
I find it quite interesting

that Haley was so, like, vocal.

[Nicole] But who would she kiss?

I honestly wouldn't be surprised
if Haley and Francesca made out.

Oh, you are wasted as a religious leader.

You suit being a sex cop way more.

I don't see anyone here lying...

except for them two.

We're gonna get to the bottom of this.

You're going down, b*tches.

I'm gonna find out which one
of you suckers is too horny for this game.

♪ I know that you don't
really wanna be with me ♪

Sheriff Matthew is on the hunt
for a pair of frisky felons,

but Outlaw Harry just has one person
on his most wanted list.

All right, what are you feeling?

Obviously,

I've had some negative feelings
towards you

- the past day.
- [mocking] What?

No way!

Because of things that were said
and things that were done.

I'm not really one to sit and dwell.

- I'd hate to...
- Yeah. I feel like if we go over it,

we're just not gonna see eye to eye.
We're not gonna agree.

Well, I'm, like, six-foot-five,

- and you're, like, five-zero, so...
- I'm five-eight. Almost.

So, we wouldn't see eye to eye anyway,
like, logistically.

Um...

- [Harry laughs]
- You're such a sh*t.

I'm letting him flirt with me,
and I'm flirting back, but...

he's been friend-zoned.

Yeah, right. Are you sure about that?

I don't know.

So, how, like...

No more feelings?

- The feelings that I had for you...
- "Had"?

The feelings I had for you two days ago
are still there...

♪ Need some time alone ♪

...as much as I don't want them
to be there.

- I usually have that effect on everyone.
- Shut the f*ck up.

Shut up. [laughs]

Obviously, we're gonna be living together
for a little bit longer, so...

it's better to be on good terms...

- Yeah.
- ...I think.

And I feel like we should just start over.

Pretend like we just met again,
and get to know each other slowly.

Yes. Well, hello.

I'm Harry.

- Francesca.
- Nice to meet you.

I knew me and Francesca
were gonna resolve this conflict

one way or another.

She should just count her blessings,
'cause, obviously,

I'm the funnest guy in the world.

So... yeah. [laughs]

♪ You're the only one that matters ♪

♪ Sinner, you better get ready ♪

♪ Sinner, you better get ready
Hallelujah ♪

I feel like it is my responsibility

to shed light
on the skeletons in this closet.

I have to get to the bottom of this.

It's like an episode of Scooby-Doo,

and Matthew wants to find out
who's been playing Shaggy.

All right.

It's just about openness, honesty.

[Francesca] What is going on?
What is happening?

[she gasps]

Whoever did it,
this is your opportunity now

to have just an inkling of honesty.

- Own it.
- Because otherwise,

it's gonna come out
in a much different way,

- which is only gonna make you look bad.
- Preach, Jesus, preach.

I'm not about to admit it.

I'm not about to own up to it,
I'm not about to tell these people sh*t.

[Matthew] Unless I slept-walked
and fell into someone's vag*na,

I know it's not me.

We checked the footage, Matthew,
and you're all good.

Kelz is the accountant,
so I know it's not him.

I don't do embezzlement.

To be completely honest with you two,

I would have never guessed
you went in the middle of the night alone.

Like, to me that's like
jumping into a flame

and hoping you don't get burnt.

I did question, like...
what decisions would they make.

[Chloe] We can't trust anyone anymore.

It's created
a lot of animosity in the air.

Animosity!

That was a new word
added to the dictionary of Chloe.

And people say reality TV
is dumbing us down.

You show 'em!

The only other two people
that I don't know at all,

who have openly admitted
to more than enough alone time...

That is ridiculous.

Don't talk to me like that.
That's ridiculous.

I feel like I'm the easiest person
to come at, so, like, I just...

Did you do anything that would cause
a $3,000 reduction with Francesca?

No, I did not kiss Francesca.

All right, fine.

You made me do it.

No, they didn't. This is all on you, bro.

Should we ask Lana?

[narrator] Yes! This scene is crying out
for some divine intervention,

or a plastic cone.

- Yeah, we should.
- That's the fair thing to do.

- See what Lana's got to say.
- Lana knows.

Uh...

Well, I'm f*cked.

Yep, pretty much.

- [Matthew] Lana.
- [melodic chime]

- [Harry] Lana!
- What you gonna tell us, babes?

[Lana] Hello.

How are you all feeling today?

- [Rhonda, sarcastically] Great.
- [Francesca and Nicole] Fantastic.

- [Haley] Amazing.
- [mockingly] So great.

[Lana] Your faces tell a different story.

[laughter]

Oh, you can see?

[Matthew] Lana...

was it...

Sharron and Rhonda

who broke the rule?

[Lana] Negative.

[Matthew] All right.

- [applause]
- [Chloe] Well done, guys.

[laughs ecstatically]

Yes!

It feels great.

I really feel like O.J., man.

[narrator] And if the glove
does not fit...

Lana, was it...

Harry and Francesca?

[Lana] Negative.

- [cheering]
- Yes! Get at me!

[he yells triumphantly]

How good? I'm off the hook.

[he laughs]

You are not the father!

[laughter]

[Matthew] Lana, was it...

Haley and Francesca?

Negative.

[whispers] Don't you dare, Lana.

God, the suspense is k*lling me.

My heart is literally
b*ating out of my chest.

I don't want Lana to f*ck me over.

Affirmative.

- [gasps]
- Oh, my God!

[Chloe] So you lied about it,
and then you denied it.

I don't regret doing it.
I regret getting caught.

[Matthew] You lied to our faces.

- How are you laughing right now?
- [Chloe] I don't understand why you'd lie.

The manipulator tricked the mindless human
into making a mistake,

and then they lied about it,
literally to the very last second.

- Oh, my God, you blow my mind.
- All right, that's enough.

[Matthew] You blow my mind.

- Come with me?
- [David] It's the walk-off!

[they whoop and holler]

- [Chloe] See you later!
- [laughter]

- They cost everyone money...
- They're off to the showers!

I still think it's funny.
I still don't like these people.

If anything,
I'm glad they know I f*cked them over

so they'll stop bothering me
and stop talking to me.

Whoo! Say what you really think, Haley.

♪ Sometimes you've got to be
a little vain ♪

I don't know what to do. Do you?

I'm shaking. See? Look. I'm shaking.

[laughs] f*ck.

Should we act like we're in love?

Not sure much acting
is needed on your part, Haley.

We should be, like,
"We just wanna explain ourselves."

"We felt really alienated,

- and we found comfort..."
- Yeah.

"We're really scared to admit this..."

[laughs]
..."but we're together."

[laughs quietly]

- What do we do?
- I don't know.

I don't know what to do.

You could grab the ropes
from the Shibari session earlier,

and use them to escape over the fence.

Just a suggestion.

Fortunately, David knows
exactly what to do.

[David] After everything
that's been going on,

the mood in the retreat's
a little bit low.

I want everyone to get back on track.
I want to spread some positivity.

I'm going to take everybody
outside for a bit of a workout.

Up. Down.

It might also help you
get over being dumped.

[Chloe] Squeeze your bum cheeks!

- You can feel it burning!
- That's it, squeeze the peach!

Ah, well done, David.
Everyone's getting along

and some trust has been rebuilt.

[Sharron and Kelz laugh]

- And we could end the show there...
- [Sharron] It's over, guys!

...but where's the fun in that?

Believe it or not, this bunch of misfits

aren't the only people
that need Lana's help.

Unleash sexed-up single number 11.

Oh, my word!

But will this clueless Casanova
embrace a lust-free life in the retreat?

Shut up!

Did I miss a workout class?

Who's that?

I'm from Los Angeles.
I live on my boat in Marina del Rey.

When the boat's a-rocking,
don't come a-knocking.

Boat life is the best kept secret
in the world.

It attracts pretty much
every single girl in Los Angeles.

Not that well-kept a secret then, is it?

I'm actually kind of fun to have around.
I play piano.

I sing. I could serenade myself
into your hearts, whatever you let me.

I can dance.
I'm the best dancer you'll ever meet.

[smooth jazz plays]

The last time I had sex was at the hotel
last night.

I probably have sex every day.
I'll wake up with...

whoever she is,
and I'll just think, "Man...

I can't wait to go out tonight
and meet a different girl."

You might have had sex
every day before, Bryce,

but that is not on the menu here, buddy.

- [Bryce] Hi.
- Oh, my God. Hello.

Hey, who's gonna
show me around this place?

Lana has forgotten to tell him the rules,
so he has no idea what's coming.

Not him for a while, that's for sure.

- Hi, Francesca.
- Hi. Francesca.

- Nice to meet you. Great eyes.
- Back at you!

Oh, my God.

After this crazy-ass day we've had,
this is perfect.

He's definitely in for a shock.

- Wow. Hi, Haley.
- Good to meet you.

- Hi. Bryce.
- Rhonda.

Hi, Rhonda. Wow.

- Golly, are you kidding me?
- Hi, how are you? Nicole.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. Bryce.

- Chloe. Lovely to meet you.
- Hi. Love you.

I mean, lovely to meet you, too.

Oh, my God!

Bryce.

This is, like, hazard. Like...

Beep-beep!

Beep-beep!

- I can't believe it! I was, like, "What?"
- Me neither.

Oh, this guy's gonna freak out
when he hears about the rules.

[Bryce] Everybody in this house
is beautiful.

The eyes on you two.
I'm a sucker for eyes.

So, I mean...

Look at that hair.
It's, like, just perfect.

- Haley.
- Haley.

Haley. Kinda like Haley,
I'm not gonna lie to you.

All the girls are beautiful.
They really are.

It's like the world's greatest buffet.

Francesca just really reminds me
of every girl in L.A.

Rhonda's body is out of this world.

Nicole has the most beautiful eyes.

It's like walking in, like, to heaven.

More like a kid in a candy store before
being told they got type 2 diabetes.

Oh, my God.

[Bryce] Chloe is beautiful.
She seemed excited to see me.

Man, I could do
a lot of serious damage here.

Guests are reminded
that any breakages to property

or persons during their stay
must be paid for in full.

[Bryce] Golly. All right.

Well, we're gonna get along, I think.
Let's do it. Rock and roll.

- What do you know?
- I know nothing.

[he laughs heartily]

Lol.

I feel like you should
probably know the rules.

[Matthew laughs]

- I'm obviously the team accountant.
- There you go.

Rule one, no kissing.

No sexual touching.

And then the last one, no masturbating.

We're all struggling, man.

The "no jerking off" thing
is really getting kinda tough.

Wow. Well, I don't know
if I can't have sex,

but you know what?
Rules are meant to be broken.

[evil laughter]

♪ Turn it up! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Turn it up! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Turn it up! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Turn it up! ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪

♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪

♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪

♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪