01x08 - The Box Kite Kaper

[bunniefuu]

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend
when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause
he can't do enough ♪

[upbeat orchestral music]

♪ Once upon a summertime,
just a dream from yesterday ♪

♪ A boy and his
magic golden flute ♪

♪ Heard a boat
from off the bay ♪

♪ Come and play with me,
Jimmy, come and play with me ♪

♪ And I will take you on a
trip far across the sea ♪

♪ But the boat belonged
to a kooky old witch ♪

♪ Who had in mind
the flute to snitch ♪

♪ From her vroom-broom
in the skies ♪

♪ She watched her
plans materialize ♪

♪ She waved her wand ♪

♪ The beautiful boat was gone ♪

♪ The skies grew dark,
the sea grew rough ♪

♪ And the boat sailed on and on
and on and on and on and on ♪

♪ But Pufnstuf was watching too
and knew exactly what to do ♪

♪ He saw the Witch's
boat att*ck ♪

♪ And as the boy
was fighting back ♪

♪ He called his
rescue racer crew ♪

♪ As often they'd rehearsed ♪

♪ And off to save
the boy, they flew ♪

- [Singer] But who
would get there first?

♪ But now the boy
had washed ashore ♪

♪ Puf arrived to save the day ♪

♪ Which made the Witch
so mad and sore ♪

♪ She shook her fist
and screamed away ♪

[Witchiepoo screams]

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend
when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little,
'cause he can't do enough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ He's your friend
when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little,
'cause he can't do enough ♪

[victorious orchestral music]

- Hear ye, hear ye.

As Mayor of Living Island,

I invite you all to participate
in a kite flying contest.

- Hooray!
- Yahoo!

- Hooray! Wonderful!
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

- And here is the man who
organized this contest,

the man who will give away 100
gold buttons as grand prize.

Our very generous friend,
Mr. Ludicrous Lion.

[group cheers and applauds]

- [Judy] Hooray!
Wonderful! Yay! Yay!

- Thank you. Thank
you, my good folks.

Your magnificent mayor's right.

I'm giving 100 gold buttons

to the one whose kite
flies the highest.

- [Group] Hooray!
[group applauding]

- Say, Ludicrous. How
come you're so generous?

- Because I'm a
soft-hearted pussycat.

Meow, meow.
[audience laughs]

- [Group] Boo! Boo!

- Hurry, hurry. Step
right up, folks. Hurry.

Get your kites
while they're hot.

They're going fast.
So hurry, hurry.

I just happen to have on hand

a complete supply of kite
strings, kite struts,

kite papers, kite
ribbons, kite tails.

Everything for flying
kites except the wind.

- I'd say you've got
plenty of that too.

[audience laughs]

- Oh, oh, oh! That
was a good one.

Bless your round little body.

All right folks, step right
up. Get your buttons ready.

- [Judy] I'd like a pretty one.

- [Bystander] I'd like one too.

- [Ludicrous] Get
your kites, folks.

- Gosh, Jimmy,

I sure wish I were big
enough to fly a kite.

- Let's ask Pufnstuf
if we can buy one.

We can fly it together.

- Easy does it, folks.
Enough for everybody.

Let's go, Horsey.

- I'm going as fast as I can!

- Where's mine? Where's mine?

- Go away from me,
boys. You bother me.

[audience laughs]

Let's go, folks.

- Hi boys. Isn't this exciting?

- This contest sure
sounds like fun.

I've always wanted to
fly a big box kite.

- Me too!

- Puf, do you think
we could enter?

- Why not? You two boys are
entitled to a little fun.

Wait a minute! I just
got a king size idea.

Jimmy, come closer.

Tell you what, we'll build
a big super strong box kite

for you and Freddy.

- You mean we can fly it?

- No. Instead of flying
it, you'll fly in it.

Don't you see?

We'll pretend to make
the kite for the contest

so the witch won't
become suspicious.

Then we'll put you in it and
the winds will blow ya home.

How's that?

- Terrific! That way we'll
really fool the witch.

- And sail home on a kite? Wow!

[horn honking]

[bell dings]

- [Pufnstuf] Thanks,
Cling and Clang.

Now go get Dr. Blinky
and tell him we need him

to help us build the kite.

On your way.

[horn honking]
[bell dings]

- Cling and Clang
are sure excited.

Well, the sooner we
get the box kite built

the sooner we'll be on our way.

- That's a fact. Come
on, let's go to work.

- Right! And while you
work, I'll whistle.

[flute whistling]
[audience laughs]

- You'll whistle all
right, my fancy flute!

But it will be my song
you'll be playing.

[audience laughs]

Orson! Seymour! Enough of
that Rummy, you dummies!

[audience laughs]

- What did you do that for?
We weren't doing anything.

- Yeah! Anything.

- Exactly! Now we've
got something to do.

Something nasty,
evil and rotten.

- Ooh! How marvelous.

- That's our Witchiepoo!

[Witchiepoo cackles]

- What do you have in
mind, oh no good queen?

- Pufnstuf is
building a box kite

large enough to carry
Jimmy and my flute home.

And do you know what
I'm going to do?

- Ooh, something
brilliant, I'm sure.

[cane clangs]

- Keep that beak buttoned
up, you flipped out flamingo,

and listen!

- I'm listening, Queenie.

- Oh, shut up!

Now they're building that
kite inside Pufnstuf's cave.

Well, I'm going to get
in there and wreck it.

Pow! [cackle]

- But they'll recognize you.
They'll never let you in.

[Witchiepoo laughs maniacally]

- That's why I'm a witch
and you're a dumb vulture.

[dramatic expl*si*n]

- Hello, my little darlings.

- Excuse me, Lady.
But who are you?

- [Seymour] Yeah, who are you?

- Just call me Mother.

[cane smashes]

Any questions, dummies?

- Mother?

[audience laughs]

[cheerful music]

- I think this
size is just right.

- Main thing is to
make it strong enough

to carry you and Freddy.

[bodies whirring]

[bodies slam]

Boys! Boys! Jumping cut eyes!

Cling and Clang,
look what you did.

And you were supposed to
bring Dr. Blinky. Where is he?

[audience laughs]

Boys! Cling and Clang,
now stop it this minute.

- That's okay,
fellas. We can fix it.

- Look out below! Whoa!

Never fear, Dr. Blinky's here.

Oh my word. What
happened to your kite?

Goodness. It's a mess!

- We had a little accident.

- Two little accidents.

[audience laughs]

- Well, your worries are over.

I'll have it fixed
in half a jiffy.

My latest invention, my
powdered stick-it-to-'em glue.

Sprinkle it on and it works
in an instant. Sometimes less.

Here, I'll show you.

Uh, oh. Well, where's the kite?

Oh, will one of you young
men hand me the glue, please?

- [Jimmy] Gee, Dr. Blinky,
I sure hope it works.

- It's got to work.
Now, boys, stop that.

Don't mess with the glue. Boys!

[bottle pops]
[audience laughs]

- Thank you. Now watch.

I sprinkle a little
stick-it-to-'em
glue on the kite.

We wait an instant. There!

Now try and pull it apart.

- Ah!

Ah!

Oh my, oh my! Jumping
butterballs, that
glue sure is strong.

- Strong! A herd
of rhinosauruses
couldn't pull it apart.

- Hooray!

Then it should be stung
enough to carry me and Freddy.

- Oh, absolutely.

- Hey, look at Cling and
Clang! They're stuck.

- Golly, Ned. They
got into the glue.

[playful music]

[audience laughs]

- That's what I like about
you two, Cling and Clang.

You always stick
together. [laughs]

[audience laughs]

[mysterious music]

- I still don't understand
your scheme, Witchiepoo.

- Watch and learn, dummy!

This sleepy powder on this
candy will knock them out cold.

And then:
[mouth clicks]

Slamareeny, the golden
flute will be mine. Mine!

[audience laughs]

- Ooh! Can I have that piece
before you sprinkle it?

- I told you this
candy's for them.

It's going to put them to
sleep, you ding-a-ling duck.

And now I'm on my way

so these luscious little
bonbons can do their dirty work.

Say goodbye to Mother.

[cane slams]

- [Orson] Oh!
[audience laughs]

What a mother.

[audience laughs]

- Shh! Freddy's
off taking a nap.

[door knocking vigorously]

- Cling and Clang,
go see who that is.

This kite sure looks
like it's in fine shape.

- Hello, little boys. I have
some candy for your father.

Is he in?

Oh! Not yet, my pretty.
Everyone must have some.

[audience laughs]

Easy now, boys. Be careful.

- [Pufnstuf] Good day, Madame.

- Hello. Hello.

Pardon me, sirs, would
you buy some sweets

from a sweet old lady
in the name of charity?

They're genuine
Campfire Granny candies.

- Campfire Grannys? I
never heard of them.

- Oh, we're a new group.
A bunch of sweet nuns.

♪ We're the Campfire Grannys ♪

♪ We make cookies,
we make candies ♪

♪ And our motto is
down with fatigue ♪

♪ Though there's many
years behind us ♪

♪ Every Sunday,
you can find us ♪

♪ At the Campfire
Granny's Little League ♪

♪ So I'm asking
you dear brothers ♪

♪ Don't forget your
loving mothers ♪

♪ At the Campfire
Grannys Little League ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

[audience laughs]

Please, sirs, won't
you at least try one?

- Sorry, Madame. I
really wouldn't like-

Oh!

[audience laughs]

- Good boys. [giggles]

And here, young man.
They're delicious. Try one.

[candy boings]

- Thank you, Ma'am.

- Oh! And one for you, cutie.

- No, no, no, no.
Please. [laughs]

I'm on a diet.

- Oh, come on!

You're a skinny one.

You'll make every Campfire
Granny flip her wig.

- Oh, why. [laughs]

Oh. Oh.

[beak slams]
[audience laughs]

- Now chew real good

and tell me if that's not the
best candy you've ever had.

[candy pops]

[audience laughs]

Well, it is candy worth
fighting over. [chuckles]

Now tell me, sirs, did
you enjoy your sweets?

- Mine tasted a little unusual.

How did you like yours, Jimmy?

- Gee, Pufnstuf, I sure
feel funny and sleepy.

I think I'll take a nap.

- Me too. I'm simply
exhausted. [yawns]

- Oh my. I feel so tired.

My head is so heavy,
I must lie down.

We've been tricked.

Oh.

[loud snoring]

[Witchiepoo cackles maniacally]

- That takes care of them!

I don't need to stub
the strides anymore.

And now to find my golden flute.

[dramatic expl*si*n]

- That little golden
flute is here someplace.

I know he is.
[group snoring]

Come on out, you little angel.

[audience laughs]

Where is it? Where
is that flute?

[group snoring]

Orson! Seymour! Get in
here, you dumb-dumbs!

We've got to find that flute!

[items banging]

Quick! Tear the place apart!
It's got to be here someplace.

Hurry up! We must
find that flute.

- I can't find it anywhere.

- I frisked them
all. They're clean.

- Drat! They're coming
awake and no flute.

I must destroy this kite
so they can't escape.

Orson, you must take
the place of my wand.

- How do I do that?

- Bite the kite!

- But I'm not hungry.

- I didn't say eat
it. I said bite it.

Use that big fat beak of
yours for something. Move!

- Yes, my queen of
witchcraft. If you say so.

- Break it! Break it!

[kite crunches]

[sleeper groaning]

- Hey Witchiepoo, look!
They're coming to!

- Now they'll never
escape with my flute.

Come on! Let's get out of
here before they awake!

Away we go! Follow Mother!

[audience laughs]

- They're gone. Let's
see what happened.

[somber mysterious music]

Clang! Clang! Wake
up! Please wake up!

[relaxing jazz music]

[fast-paced cheerful music]

Wake up, everybody.
Jimmy! Pufnstuf! Wake up!

- [Pufnstuf] Oh!

- Wake up, Jimmy. Wake up!

- Jumping Jehosaphat!
We've been drugged.

That little old lady
must've been the Witch.

- She was! She was!

Jimmy, are you all right?

- I'm okay, Freddy.

Pufnstuf, look at our kite!

- Suffering catfish.
What a mess.

- Dr. Blinky, do you think
the kite can be fixed? Do you?

- Jimmy, you can start saying
your goodbyes and so long.

The kite will be ready at dawn.

Now come on. We've got
a lot of work to do.

[relaxing upbeat music]

- Bye, Grandpa. Bye, Judy.

Bye, Dr. Blinky.

Bye, Cling. Bye, Clang.

- [Freddy] Goodbye, Cling and
Clang. I'll never forget you.

- Come on, Jimmy.
Get on the kite.

Time to go. Hurry! Before
the Witch wakes up.

- Gosh, I don't
know what to say.

You've been such a
good friend to me.

- Gee willickers, Jimmy.
Just say goodbye. Hurry!

- [Freddy] Goodbye,
Pufnstuf. I'll sure miss you.

- [Group] Bye-bye!

- [Judy] Bye, Jimmy.

- [Granny] You're
such nice boys.

Here's something to
eat on your trip.

- All right. Back,
everybody. Back.

Here we go.

Ready, Jimmy?

- Ready.

[playful dramatic music]

- All right, Jimmy
Boy. Up you go.

Up, up and away!

- Goodbye, Pufnstuf!
Goodbye, Dr. Blinky!

- [Group] Bye! Bye!

- Bye, Cling and Clang!

- [Pufnstuf] Don't forget your-

- Bye, everybody!
- [Group] Bye!

[Witchiepoo snoring]
[audience laughs]

- Witchiness, get up. Get up!

Jimmy and the flute
are taking off.

- Who! What? What's going on?

- Get up. Get up!
They're escaping.

- Escaping? At this hour?

[audience laughs]

How dare they?

They don't play fair!

I'll get them!

[body slams]
Ugh!

[audience laughs]

Help! I'm being att*cked!
Who turned the lights out?

[audience laughs]

Oh!

Drat! Drat! Drat! Let
me see! Let me see!

Outta my way!

[audience laughs]

The little brat! He's
up in that stupid kite.

Seymour, get my
vroom-broom warmed up.

- [Seymour] Right, Chiefie!

- Ah! So that's the way
they wanna play, eh?

All right, my
fine-feathered friend!

We'll b*at them
at their own game!

[cane bangs]

Don't just stand there.
Up, up and away! [cackles]

- Isn't it wonderful?

Jimmy and Freddy are
finally on their way.

Look at them go.

- Isn't it great,
Freddy? We're going home.

- Yeah! Oh boy.

- But I'm sure gonna
miss Living Island.

- Jimmy, look!

[wind whooshing]

- Gosh almighty. It's the
Witch on her vroom-broom!

- There they are!

I'm gonna force them to fly
over my castle and then zap!

The golden flute will
be mine. [cackles]

Hold onto your
feathers. Here we go!

[air whooshes violently]

- She's coming after us.

- I'm scared!

- I'll hide you.

- Oh!
- Jimmy's in trouble.

We need help.

[Witchiepoo cackles maniacally]

- Try to escape from
me, will ya? [laughs]

[air whooshes]

- West Wind. West Wind! Help us!

- [Group] Help!

- We hear ya, partner.

We'll huff and we'll puff
and we'll blow Jimmy home.

- Hurry, Wind.
Blow. Please blow!

- Box kite at three
o'clock! Bombs away!

[b*mb whirs]

[b*mb explodes]

[items boing]

Playing dirty, eh?

[audience laughs]

- [Group] Oh! Oh!

- [Pufnstuf] Oh my goodness!

- Orson, let him have it!

[b*mb whirs]

[b*mb explodes]

- Blow, West Wind! Blow! Blow!

- Oh evil spirits from the
dark, make his kite fall apart.

[kite bangs]

[Witchiepoo cackles maniacally]

- Jumping Jehosaphat!
She's busting up the kite.

Blow, Winds! Blow!

- It won't do any good, partner.

The kite's broken.
It's gonna crash.

- Quick. Get us down! Quick!

- There's only one thing
to do. Pull him down.

Come on everybody,
grab the string. Hurry!

Now pull. Pull!

- They're pulling him down!

Hold on while I give
this jet jalopy the gas.

[engine whirs]

- [Pufnstuf] Come
on, pull harder!

- [Group] Pull!

- Hurry! Get us down! Hurry!

- He's getting to the ground!

I better get my giant
double barrel wand.

Orson, take the wheel.

- Roger, Witchiepoo. Shall do.

- What happened?
Where's the wheel?

[audience laughs]

- I have it. You said
to take the wheel.

- I said take the wheel,
not take the wheel!

Give me that, you dummy.

[engine sputters]

I can't get it back.
We're going have to roll!

- Ah!

- He made it. He made
it. Jimmy's saved!

[group chatters and cheers]

- [Judy] Jimmy! Jimmy!

- [Group] Hooray!

- Freddy, are you all right?

- [Freddy] Yeah. I am now. I'll
never go up in a kite again.

- [Pufnstuf] Gosh, Jimmy.

You scared me right
outta my boots.

- Look, the vroom-broom!
It's going down.

[engine whirring and sputtering]

- They're gonna crash.

[Vroom-broom crashes]

[group cheers]

- Jimmy is safe!

[playful somber music]

[audience laughs]

- Those goody two shoes,
they did it to me again.

[audience laughs]

Wait'll I get my strength back!

[audience laughs]

[upbeat cheerful music]

♪ You got someone
who loves you ♪

♪ You got someone who cares ♪

♪ You got someone
who'll fix you up ♪

♪ If ever you need repairs ♪

♪ You got someone
who'll take the time ♪

♪ To listen to your prayers ♪

♪ I've got, you've
got, everybody do got ♪

♪ Someone who cares ♪

♪ By the name of H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Where do ya go when
things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ He can't do a little
'cause he can't do enough ♪

[upbeat music]

[audience laughs]

Whoa!

♪ I've got, you've
got, everybody do got ♪

♪ Someone who cares ♪

♪ By the name of H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Where do ya go when
things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Well, he can't do a little
'cause he can't do enough ♪

- See ya next week!
[audience applauds]

- I sure hope so!

[cheerful orchestral music]