05x10 - Nothing Remains the Same

[bunniefuu]

-[waves lapping at shore]
-[seagulls cry]

[light pop music plays]

♪ Mountains ♪

♪ I'd climb 'em ♪

[playing faintly]

♪ Oceans ♪

♪ I'll dive in ♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪ Armies ♪

♪ I'd fight 'em… ♪

[officiant] Please stand.

♪ Past the point of no return ♪

♪ I'd walk through flames
And let it burn ♪

♪ 'Cause that's what you're worth ♪

♪ Yeah, that's what you're worth… ♪

[Heather] I wanted to first say
thank you for my beautiful life.

And thank you for this…

[voice breaks] I don't think I can do it.

You can do it.

[sniffs]

Thank you for my beautiful life,
and thank you for this beautiful day.

After our first date,
I knew that you were my forever.

When I'm with you, the world stops,
and everything makes sense.

You're my best friend,
my partner, and my whole heart.

I will never forget the moment

where I made the decision
to ask you to marry me.

I vow to be the best man,
father, husband I can be,

because that's what you deserve.

My sweet love,
life without you would be unimaginable.

I love you more than the world.

You and me, forever.

-I love you.
-[kissing]

♪ I'd go to the ends of the Earth ♪

♪ To the ends of the Earth ♪

♪ To the ends of the Earth ♪

♪ For you ♪

[officiant] Ladies and gentlemen,
it's my pleasure, for the first time,

-to present Tarek and Heather El Moussa.
-[people cheering]

["Made of Love" by Afternoon Diesel plays]

[Chrishell] Whoo!

♪ Made of love  ♪

[Chrishell] Their wedding
is absolutely beautiful.

And, you know, even though
a wedding is not my personal goal,

it really feels amazing to be here
with Jason, and, you know,

if a wedding happens, it happens.

You know, I just really care
more about the family aspect.

You know, I feel like
that'd be a dream come true.

♪ Show me what we're made of ♪

♪ We were made of love ♪

[song fades]

["Can't Help It"
by Tina Parol & Oh, Hush! plays]

♪ I got the chemistry
That puts you in the mood ♪

♪ I'm always here to play ♪

♪ You're gonna know my name ♪

♪ I'm ready for today ♪

[Christine] I don't care about looks.

I've dated, like,


I've dated, like, geriatric fucks.

-I mean--
-You have?

No, no, I mean, like--
Say, like, 45 years old.

-I don't want a supermodel…
-At the time I was 25.

-…but you have to look good in bed.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, I don't really care
about looks, like--

You just care about money.

[both laugh]

[Chelsea] Your taste
is, like, credit score.

Let's be honest.

I mean, real rich people don't have credit
because they don't need to take out loans.

Okay!

There's been a lot of bullshit lately.
Nothing new.

Chelsea is the only one
that I wanna talk to these days.

It's nice to be friends
with someone who's strong,

and I don't have to coddle or sway.

-Oh fancy!
-[Chelsea] Oh wow.

[server] That's rosewater.
It's part of your cocktail.

Wow.

Is it edible?

Can you put some in my cleavage?

[Chelsea] We're eating perfume.

-Thank you. That's nice.
-[Chelsea] You taste it first.

[both laugh]

Okay.

Ah! No, it's delicious.

[imitating gurgling]

Ha-ha!

All right, I'm out.

-No, I'm just joking. It's good.
-Oh, yay.

[sighs]

Um… I have been so tired of these b*tches
in the office, with their nasty jabs.

You know, like, "Oh, yeah," you know,

"We don't get along,
but when it comes to Maya,

oh, we'll get along,

we'll do anything for you,"
and it's, like-- It's just so ridiculous

how they're the ones
that are always bringing stuff up.

-Like, I don't obsess about you.
-Who'd you feel was jabbing the most?

Um…

Emma. She was
so worked up that I was there.

She was so anxious,

and just, like, anxiety.

And every time I was talking,
she wouldn't look at me in the eye.

She was, like, having
so much anxiety about me being there.

-Yeah.
-Oh my gosh.

But I'm just like,
"Bitch, stop being so insecure."

[dramatic music plays]

It's like, you're the one
who's making an issue out of this.

You look petty as hell.
I was like, "Stop with the stupid jabs."

I was like, "You are embarrassing
yourself by doing this,

'cause, I assure you,
I'm having a great time."

Yeah.

I've sensed the energy,

but I'm not one to make something so petty
into a bigger thing,

because it seems like, in this office,
we're gonna have bigger fish to fry.

Yeah.

-Does this look okay?
-Brilliant. Brilliant.

I, kind of, just feel it's just, like,

becoming really difficult
for me to do my job,

because I'm constantly
up against different bullshit.

I feel like I've gotten to a point where
I don't want to be in the office because,

you know, it gets to a point
where the drama is affecting my business,

and I don't want that.

-Right.
-Put all your personal bullshit aside.

-Yeah.
-Let's just get work done.

I know that you and Emma don't get along.
Jason's been good to you though.

-Yeah. No, he has. He has.
-He's been good. Jason's a good guy.

I'm just kind of, like, thinking
these days, you know?

-Yeah.
-I'm not desperate for a job.

Like, I'm intelligent.

I can start my own brokerage.

I can be a broker, you know?
sh*t, if Davina can do it, I can do it.

-Davina's got her broker's license?
-Uh-huh.

Oh, they're giving these out for free.

Pretty much,
just handouts like at McDonald's.

You know, I want to work for myself,
be my own independent boss.

[dramatic music continues]

Oh my gosh. I'm losing my only ally.

[chuckles]

-I-- I mean--
-My worst nightmare's coming to head.

I'm not… You know, I'm just…
These are things that I'm

pondering in my head.

-Mm-hmm.
-I'm just telling you where I'm at,

but I don't know, you know?

At the end of the day,

this is a stepping stone
to something bigger and greater.

I'm not meant to be
one of 92 people in the office.

That's just not for me. I'm one of one.

["In My Rearview" by Kat Leon plays]

♪ Yeah, hungry for somethin' new ♪

[Emma] Oh my God.
This literally takes my breath away.

The view is unreal.

You can see all the way
out to the ocean and the boats.

The boats. And I think
this is Catalina out here.

[Emma] Oh my God. Wait, it is.

-I've never been, though.
-I have not been either.

-Should we go?
-Right? Okay.

-Yeah, we should add that to our list.
-Maybe?

-The bucket list is quickly growing.
-Right?

The bucket list started
when we were texting,

and we were naming all the things
that we wanted to do, the places we'd go,

and then, why not go together?

So now we have a full list
of places that we wanna go together.

Poppin' bottles? [chuckles]

[Micah] Hey, poppin' bottles.

In case we get a little wild. Some sh*ts.

Micah mostly lives in Texas,

but when he's been here in LA,
we've been hanging out,

and I've been enjoying it.

-[pops]
-[Emma gasps] Oh boy!

[both laugh]

Perfect.

See, that was like…
Honestly, I've never had that pop so good.

That sounded bad, but… [chuckles]

I think it's only fitting
that we enjoy this view first.

Right?

-You can negotiate the price though.
-Cheers.

-Cheers.
-Thanks so much for having me over.

Thank you for coming over.

Hmm! All right,
what are you hitting me with?

So, you said 20,
but I'm thinking more like 19-5, 19-9.

Oh! Okay.

Yeah, we've been doing a lot of research
and looking at other comps in the area.

Usually, I feel like the sellers
wanna go a little bit too high,

and they're emotionally attached
and everything else.

So the fact that you said 19,
actually, I'm like, "Oh, wow."

-Yeah.
-I like that.

I have another real estate project
coming soon as well,

-so we might have to talk about that.
-Oh!

Wow. So we're doing
another little business deal together.

I-- I think-- I think we should.

You're gonna keep buying homes
to keep me around.

-Oh!
-A lot of it's that I've admired

just how much you're a go-getter,

and how you are a boss.

-Oh.
-And making all these business moves,

it's very… it's very nice
to meet somebody…

-Well, thank you.
-…that has the entire package going.

Oh, wow. I went from "a boss"
to "having the whole package."

I'll take that.

So, how have things been?

Good, busy with work.

I did miss out on that house
that I put an offer in for my mom, so…

Bummed about that.

I love how important family is to you.

It's the most important thing
in the world.

-You said that's the same for you.
-Oh, absolutely.

I wanna take you to Houston.
I'm a very good tour guide.

-That would be fun.
-Perfect, perfect.

Wait, you saw Chrishell,
and Jason's moving into Chrishell's.

Amazing. I'm so happy for him.

-They seem so good together, right?
-Yeah.

Their energy is good.

They were best friends first,
and I think that makes a difference.

I've never been friends
with somebody first.

-Neither have I.
-Yeah.

Do you think it matters
to be friends first

and get to know somebody
on, like, a friendship level

before you go into
a relationship like that or…

-'Cause I've never really had that.
-I've never done that. So…

-Another thing in common.
-Yeah. Right?

Yeah. I usually go from,
like, zero to 100 real fast.

Yeah, I do-- I do the same thing.

-Let's talk about this a bit.
-Okay, let's discuss.

So, obviously, Jason and Chrishell
started off as friends as well,

and then it became romantic.

-Yes.
-We've started off as friends.

And neither one of us have been friends
before having a relationship.

So how do we feel about this?

[chuckles] I mean,
I feel like there's potential.

It's working out for them.

So, I feel like--

-Should I turn on the fire?
-Yeah!

Little, uh… Little hot tub?

Heat it up.

Micah doesn't b*at around the bush.

I feel like I definitely know
his intentions, um, and I like that.

I'd rather have him be
up front and honest,

and I feel like
he's, you know, not playing around.

Whoo!

-Toasty.
-Yeah, it's nice and warm.

I love being in the sun, though.

-I do too.
-Your eyes look really pretty right now.

-Oh, thank you.
-I'm gonna have to…

Little eye-to-eye contact.

-You're getting a little cozy!
-I am.

-You can come closer. [laughs]
-A little closer.

-I'm getting a little cozier.
-Yeah, right?

Look at this sunset.

[Emma] It's literally insane.

Thank you for having me over.

It's been fun getting to know you…

[laughs] …and spending time with you.

I love spending time with you. It's easy.

[Emma] Spending time with Micah
is like second nature.

So, I'm enjoying our time together,
and I'm excited to see where it goes.

-[pop music plays]
-♪ Feels like a dream ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[pop music fades]

[rhythmic pop music plays]

♪ I feel your rhythm everywhere I go ♪

[Chrishell] Let's do it, ladies.

This is cute!

-Oh, this is cute.
-Yeah, this is perfect.

[music continues]

-[gasps] Oh! I'm so happy!
-[squeals] I'm so happy.

We hardly ever get to get together,
and it just took way too long.

And I, like, had lots of excuses
to pull you this way.

-You had to see the new house.
-New house!

The house is beautiful.

And you see, I have room.
So you have to come all the time.

-Yes. Absolutely.
-I've got a room with your name on it.

I am so excited that my sisters are here.

This is the moment I've been waiting for.

Show them the new house,
introduce them to the new man,

you know,
just get their take on everything.

-Cheers!
-[Sabrina and Shonda] Cheers!

-Thank you for coming.
-To you.

-Thanks for having us.
-[Chrishell] I love you guys.

-Oh! So good.
-I'm so happy this worked out.

We planned this, I feel like, last minute.

We really did.

Well, you know what it really was?

We… We literally said,
"We need to meet him."

-Yeah. Yeah.
-"We need to meet Jason."

And I'll tell you why.

I feel like with your last relationship,

there was some criticism.

A lot of what you did, I don't think that

he took you seriously.

A lot of your jobs,
he acted like they were not real jobs.

And this was your life.

This was your job.
You worked so hard for it.

There were just some instances in the past

where it felt like you were covering
for your partner at the time.

Um, maybe they were doing something
that was a little disrespectful,

and you were standing up for them
and trying to cover for them,

and it was just so sad
that you felt like you had to

kind of pretend to be something else.

I don't-- I don't even, like,
think about that stuff anymore,

but the second that you-- like, you--

my memory hits
of what you're talking about, I'm like,

"Who was I?"
I don't even know who that was.

Well, it's all of these experiences
that shape you.

So you are who you are
because of those experiences.

And I really do

respect and value your opinions, you know?

I feel like I'm in a-- a place
where I'm so… much different

and I'm so much more grown than I was,

and I'm a full,
realized person at this point.

Not a version of what I think
somebody wants me to be.

So, this is my question.

So, you guys are fertilizing
before having the conversation,

or have you already
decided what you're doing?

[dramatic music plays]

So, we've had many conversations.

Um… It's just that, at this point,

it's… I…

He is not 100% sure if he's ready to say,

"Okay, let's, like,
implant and have a baby."

So, I think, right now,
we're just trying to be smart about time,

and in that time use it to see,
you know, what he wants.

I don't want you to think…
'Cause I know how I've been in the past.

I'm not this, like, naive person that's
putting all my hopes into a jar, and…

I'm really not.

There will never be a conversation
where I'm, like, crying or,

you know, upset…

Well, I'm not saying that,
'cause of course you'd still be…

I'm saying that thing where someone
betrays you or lies to you or hurts you…

There's none of that.
So, that's just, like…

[sighs]

…comforting, so…

I know how long you've been wanting this.

I just wanted to make sure
you guys are, kind of, on the same page.

Girls.

If we're talking about my uterus,
can you please, like--

-[Sabrina] I'll drink to that.
-Thank you. To my uterus.

-To your uterus.
-To my…

To my aging eggs.

["Anything Is Possible" by Louis II plays]

♪ Anything is possible ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! ♪

♪ Anything is possible ♪

[song fades]

Well, I normally try to avoid
getting into the drama,

but this is pretty serious.

Yep.

I heard from Mary everything,
but I really wanna hear it from you.

I wanna do my due diligence on this one
before making any decision. So…

Do you mind just telling me
from the beginning exactly what happened?

[Emma] So my client called me.

He asked if I knew
somebody named Christine.

I instantly knew it was gonna be bad.

And he wanted to let me know
that she had offered him money

to not work with me anymore
and work with her instead.

[dramatic music plays]

He's known me for ten years.
He knows I'm a good person,

and, like, thank God he told me.

What if it was somebody else that didn't?

-[Jason] Yeah.
-Or took the money?

And the quote was, "She is out
to sabotage you in any way possible."

[dramatic music continues]

[Mary chuckles dryly]

It's unreal.

I would never have thought
that any of my agents

would ever act in such a manner.

I think we've made so clear
how we need to hold ourselves

to a standard above everyone else.

And let alone below.

Yeah.

[Jason] I can't believe
she's capable of-- of doing that.

She's honestly, hands down, probably one
of the worst people in the entire world.

That's genuinely how I feel.

I've been att*cked
for five years by this person,

and I'm actually genuinely concerned
how far she's going to go next.

[dramatic music continues]

First off, as your broker, you know,
I feel an obligation to protect you

and to make sure that you have a safe
work environment where you can excel.

You should never have to deal with that.

It's so unbelievable,

and I'm very sorry
that you've had to deal with this.

I truly am.

I mean, like,
I considered not staying here.

Like, I would be lying

if I said that I'm not scared
of what she's capable of, you know?

I'm not scared of Christine.
I'll talk to her face-to-face.

"Why… What is, like, the infatuation
and the obsession with me and hurting me?"

But I'm scared we don't know
what she's doing behind closed doors.

That's my thing.

And this is just

so ridiculous, even for Christine.

[Jason] She's crossed the line,
in my book.

I've asked Christine
to come in here after you leave

and explain her position, her perspective,
make sure I'm not missing anything,

but I can't allow that behavior
at the office at all.

I appreciate that.

And, you know, I don't think that
anyone knew what she was capable of.

[dramatic music continues]

So out of line.

-[scoffs]
-[sighs]

-Bye, sweetie.
-[Emma] Bye.

[dramatic music continues]

[Mary sighs]

You know, the more I hear it,

it just becomes more
and more unreal to me.

I agree.

She clearly has a vindictiveness
to her that is seriously concerning.

Yeah.

Let's see what she has to say.

Yeah, I guess we will.

[ominous music plays]

She's 29 minutes late already.

-Oh.
-No text. No nothing.

[Christine] There's absolutely
no truth to this.

I don't know why Emma
is once again trying to make me look bad

and stir the pot
and make up lies about me,

but this whole game of trying to defame me

over and over and over again
is just really getting old.

I haven't heard from her either. So…

You know, it's just--
it's getting too much.

She doesn't even
have the respect to show up.

This isn't the first time
she hasn't shown up to things,

-and I think it's…
-So many things.

…because, she'll do
something inappropriate, and then

not show up and face the consequences.

Yeah.

You know?

[ominous music continues]

[line rings]

[line ringing]

[Mary clears throat]

No, I don't think I need to have
a conversation with Mommy and Daddy.

Oops, I mean… Jason and Mary.
I don't need a conversation with them.

[automated voice] Please leave
your message for 3--

[Jason] She's not showing up.

-She's definitely not showing up.
-[sighs]

I have been mad and frustrated
with Christine for so long

because of how she has continuously
treated the people that I love.

And now I feel like
I just have sadness for her,

because she has gone
so far down this self-destructive path

that I don't see her coming out of it.

I mean, she said things
about my own girlfriend.

"Chrishell's just getting listings
'cause she's f*cking the boss"?

And I still continued
to give her opportunities.

It's been her decisions this whole time,

um, how she wants to act,
how she wants to treat people,

and she keeps choosing

the wrong thing.

She was one of
the first agents that I hired.

I saw, you know,
an intelligence in her, and a wit.

I just felt like if she could direct
her energies towards real estate

and not towards drama
and not towards vindictiveness

and other things,
she could've been so successful.

That's what's so frustrating.
'Cause I care about her, you know?

-Yeah.
-I do care about her.

I want nothing but the best for her,
but it's just like--

I can care about somebody
and hope for the best for them,

but not sitting in my office.

What are you gonna do?

[dramatic music plays]

Is this, like, the end for Christine?

[dramatic music crescendos]

["New World" by burnboy
& Brooke Williams plays]

♪ Welcome to the new world ♪

♪ Walkin' in a dream world ♪

♪ Welcome to the new world ♪

♪ Welcome to the new world ♪

[song fades]

["Sitting Down Is Stupid"
by FLOYD WONDER plays]

♪ Get your biscuits in the kitchen ♪

♪ I'm a sous-chef on a mission ♪

♪ Baby, wiggle it, it's vicious ♪

♪ We about to break the dishes ♪

♪ Just move it ♪

♪ Move it ♪

-Hi, beautiful. How are you?
-Hi, beautiful. Your bag is so cute.

-Oh, thank you. [laughs]
-That's gorgeous.

-Hi. How are you? Good to see you.
-Good. You too.

[Vanessa laughs]

So much going on right now.

-Um…
-Yeah, tell me what's happening with Nick.

Ah! Well, I mean… [laughs]

…he gave me the promise ring.

-I'm so happy for you.
-So beautiful.

He has to go back to London?

Yeah. He has to do, uh, work…
some work over there,

and, uh, you know, uh…

It's just, like… I don't know how--

I heard you say that you were
maybe considering moving to London

when we were at Maya's.

So, are you seriously considering going?

I mean, I'm having
a lot of mixed feelings,

because I wanna be with him.

We're super close.

-I can see that! Yeah. It's so obvious.
-Oh! [laughs]

So, I'm, like, "What should I do?"

Like, I have my career here, and then…
I honestly don't know. I'm a little--

I-- Yeah, I mean, I think…

It's hard to find good guys.
It's really difficult.

I was with somebody that I thought
was the one, and it didn't work out.

I was heartbroken about that,
you know? So…

I-- I think, like, if you find the one

that you really truly feel in your heart
is the right person for you…

A hundred percent.

Yeah, you have to go for it.

You can do real estate there.
It's hard to find the right person.

A hundred percent.

And I-- I feel that's…
You know, I manifested him.

I always dreamt with having someone
that, uh, will give his heart in an open…

With an open heart.

-That's it, open heart.
-That'd be honest.

I think you should
follow your heart, and, um…

Yeah.

-I think I know what you're gonna do.
-Yeah, let's see.

Just hearing Vanessa talk about it,

I get the feeling that she's gonna
go ahead and move to England.

I mean, it's not so bad for me.

I think the answer
will come to you naturally.

["Mortal Blood" by Summer Kennedy plays]

♪ There's no easy way out ♪

♪ So I stand and fight ♪

♪ We're the runaways ♪

[song fades]

[Amanza] This is awesome.

-[Mary] I know.
-[Amanza chuckles] It's huge.

I've come down to see it with Romain,

but I haven't seen it since they put
all the furniture and everything in.

-[Jason] Hey, ladies!
-[Mary] Hey!

-How are you?
-Oh my God.

It looks so good all furnished.

-[Amanza] This is awesome.
-Hey.

Thank you, honey.

-How are you?
-Good.

I love this sofa.
I love the color. It's so cool.

-Like a fuchsia or salmon or whatever.
-[Brett] It's pink.

-It's dusty rose.
-[Mary] I think he does like it.

Watch out, Zelly.
Papa's coming down. Come on.

Come here, honey.

Well, this… You have done
a lot of work doing this, though.

-[Jason] Oh man.
-[Mary] It was worth it.

This has been, like, eight months
or something like that.

How many, um… How many people are here?

Somewhere between,
like, 15 and 20, I think.

[Mary] You got more desks here.

Who's the Christine in the group? [laughs]

-[Mary] I was just telling her…
-[exhales] No Christine here.

…on the way in here about all the drama
that's been going on with her.

-Five grand? That's it?
-[Brett] Which is low for Christine.

[Amanza] I thought 50.

-Five thousand dollars?
-I know.

It's not like
Christine can only offer $5,000.

Meanwhile, she rolls around with that,
probably, in her tote ba-- tote bag.

-It definitely wasn't well ex*cuted.
-[Mary] No.

Nobody's arguing that.

So you asked her, you called her
and said, "I heard this thing."

"I wanna meet you
to give you a chance to tell your side,"

and she just didn't show up?

Did she call and say why?

-[Mary] Nope. Didn't answer.
-Didn't pick up, missed the appointment.

-She's just ghosting you?
-[Jason] Yeah.

Oh! Another shady move by Christine.

Shocker. Like…

I just think she… she either
needs to quit or she's gonna be fired,

because, I mean, we can't have that.

And she can't come in and just…
What's she gonna say?

An apology doesn't cut it.

It's just one more thing
I-- I gotta figure out.

As if I don't have enough
to figure out these days.

-You've got a stressful life right now.
-[Jason] This office is…

It's doubling
my professional responsibilities,

'cause twice as many agents now,
twice as many transactions,

twice as many questions.

My priority is to be a-- a boyfriend,
you know, a great boyfriend to Chrishell.

-So, I've got that.
-You're doing a great job at that part.

But she wants me
to be a dad too, obviously.

She was very clear
from the beginning about that.

Um, so, I'm also spending
a lot of time thinking about that,

and that potential responsibility for me.

Where are you at with that?

Um…

God, I don't know. It's…

I-- I wish that
the pendulum would swing in one direction

so it would be more clear for me,
but I just feel like it's not yet.

If I'm gonna have a kid, I wanna have
that "I really want this" type of thing,

and that pendulum
is not going over there yet.

But it's also not going, you know…

I don't want to not be with Chrishell,
and I don't want to…

I'm not going towards not having a kid,

but I'm just kind of waiting,
I'm thinking…

I'm waiting for the process to kind of
push me farther in that direction.

It's hard because we're-- women have,
like, unfortunately, a shelf life,

-and, you know, she's not 25.
-Yeah.

I know that. I mean, I feel that pressure
just as much as she does.

-[Amanza] It makes it harder.
-I'm thinking about it every day.

I think that you could
possibly be overthinking it--

I know I'm overthinking it,
but I'm also trying to--

-Not in a bad way.
-[Jason] It's such a big decision.

-Trying to figure out what it'd be like.
-No. Yeah.

I don't mean that in a negative way.

I know you put thought into things
because you want to do the best job,

and I-- I feel like maybe
what scares you the most

is that you wouldn't be able
to be as present.

I-- I'm, right now, overwhelmed with
professional responsibility, you know?

When I was first getting with Chrishell,

I actually was taking a more emotional
and less logical approach to it,

and I was actually more--

feeling more inclined
to have, uh, a family with her.

And I think,

during the relationship,

my logical, decision-making mind
has been taking over.

Honestly, I wake up in the morning,

"What would my morning
look like with a baby?"

"Who would I hire? Where would we live?
What would I be doing now?"

"How would we travel?
How would I go down to Orange County?"

"How would I be able to manage
my offices and agents and transactions?"

I honestly…

get overwhelmed thinking
about the idea of being a dad.

Um…

[dramatic music plays]

And it scares me, because I know that
if that's my decision, I lose Chrishell.

[gentle music plays]

-[Amanza] This makes me wanna cry.
-I know.

-You guys are perfect in every other way.
-We love you so much. And you…

Coming from somebody
who, one, is a parent,

two, has seen every type
of parental f*ck-up and anything…

Like, you would be amazing.

Like, we all see that.

And I feel like there's
something in you that's, like, scared…

[voice breaking] …that you're not gonna
do it perfect, and you're already perfect.

Like, you… It would be so awesome.

I just wish I could switch that…
Whatever it is.

I wish I could just switch it,
because I think you would shock yourself.

It could be just what you need.

That switch that you're talking about?

I… I wanna have it.
I wanna be with Chrishell and have a kid.

Like, that's actually,
in my heart, what I want.

[music continues]

You know. And I gotta come up
with this decision ASAP.

-Because I cannot put Chrishell through…
-Put her through this for--

…you know, waiting any longer.

I mean, I owe her that I respect,
and I love her too much to,

you know, to delay.

[soft pop music plays]

It's the most difficult decision
I've-- I've ever had to make.

♪ It's breaking you now ♪

♪ If it's breaking you down ♪

♪ It could build you up again, up again ♪

♪ If it's breaking you down ♪

♪ It can make you rise again, rise again ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

[soft pop music fades]

[Chrishell] Oh my goodness.
Uh… One second.

-[object clatters]
-Oh, sh*t.

[chuckling] Oops.

[gentle music plays]

Okay. I'll use this one.

Top those puppies off.

[bottle clanks]

-Okay.
-That face…

[chuckles]

[Chrishell sighs]

So, what happened?

Uh…

Okay. Where do I start?

I mean, you were just with me and Jason.
Everything's been going amazing.

-Yeah.
-Um…

Obviously, he knows I wanna have a baby,

and it's something that, you know,

we've taken a lot of steps to, like,

get there.

You know, meeting my doctor and…
Just so many steps we went through to…

To-- I was like, "Wow, this is…
Okay, this is real. It's happening."

Um…

[Chrishell sighs]

Anyway, long story short.

He just told me…

um…

that he doesn't wanna have a kid.

-And…
-No.

So, as much as… [inhales]

…this hurts me to say,

I'd been clear with him
what that would mean, so we are done.

We broke up.

[sad pop music plays]

I, um…

I'm so sorry.

[sighs in frustration]

[cries softly]

I'm just so… Oh, f*ck.
I'm sorry. I'm just disappointed.

Oh, I know.

Sorry. [chuckles]

No. You're… I feel so bad.

[sad pop music continues]

I'm so sorry.

I just feel like
you never have it figured out.

[chuckles] And I guess
that's the life lesson.

And I should know better at this point,
but I-- I thought this was it.

Sorry.

-No, but you can't blame yourself.
-[sniffling]

You know? It's…

This has nothing to do with-- with you.
This has everything to do with…

I know. But, like, let's just be honest,

like, you know, he was
a very proud bachelor for his whole life.

-And you changed him.
-I didn't.

-You changed him when it came to--
-[chuckles] No, I didn't.

Just, like one, the-- the baby thing,
but you changed when it came to commitment

and loving someone unconditionally
and wanting…

He'd spend the rest of his life with you.

And that's what I think is hard,
when I think it's, like, locked in…

[sputters] …and I feel-- I got it.

Like, I figured out
the code, like, to life.

You know, I'm so happy,
and I'm with someone that respects me,

and we're gonna have a baby,
and it's everything I've ever dreamed of.

You know, maybe this isn't my path. Maybe…

You know, I'm… I'm 40.
I don't know what the future holds now.

I know that you were
put on this planet to be a mom,

and it's gonna make sense one day.
You know?

When you're holding
your baby in your hands, you know?

Everything is gonna make sense,
just not in this moment.

I don't want you to think
you're not meant to have something.

You are.

And this is just the universe's way
of-- of putting you down a different path.

You know?

I know that intellectually, it's just…

[voice breaking] It's a lot
to, in the moment, process.

-Of course.
-[sniffles]

Oh my God.

I'm not gonna cry.

No, I'm sorry.

-Oh my God. No.
-No, I'm not gonna cry. I refuse.

I refuse. [chuckles]

I… live in this beautiful house.

I've gotten my career
in the best place it's ever been.

And I do not want to cry about a man.

[chuckles, sighs]

-But it--
-I…

You know, we entered into this with, like…

Knowing that this was the case.

I knew this going into it.

-But it's one of those things where…
-[sighs]

…I do need space to help myself detach.

This sucks.

I don't know if we can keep
working together anymore.

You know? So…

And I-- And I'm just saying that
to be honest. I…

I'm not holding this against him.

I understand.

He genuinely thought, you know,
"This is something that I can do."

["Arcade" by Davina Michelle playing]

You know, and I know this is what life is.

You know, it's…

the highs and the lows, and I feel like…

At this point… Ugh. Sorry.

I just feel like, at this point,

this is something
I should be better at… figuring out.

♪ A broken heart is all that's left ♪

♪ I'm still fixing all the cracks ♪

♪ Lost a couple of pieces when ♪

♪ I've spent all of the love I saved ♪

♪ We were always a losing game ♪

♪ Small-town girl in a big arcade ♪

♪ I got addicted to a losing game ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

-♪ All I know, all I know ♪
-[Romain talking indistinctly]

♪ Loving you is a losing game ♪

♪ I don't need your games, game over ♪

♪ Just get me off this roller coaster ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ All I know, all I know ♪

♪ Loving you is a losing game ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ All I know, all I know ♪

♪ Loving you is a losing game ♪

[song fades]