03x11 - Ball and Chain/Labor Day

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ at the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ but my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ from annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ the story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪

Hey, Amanda, you and me
skydiving this weekend, huh?

Don't talk to me, dork.

All right.

Tracy, up for some extreme
snowboarding tomorrow, huh?

Fat chance, Carbunkle.

All right.

Hey, Pteresa,
I was wondering--

Get lost, loser.

All right!

So, still striking out?

Strike out?
Me?

My dear, Sheldon, this is called
playing the field.

Just one exciting part
of the adventure I call life.

[sighs]

Anyway, there's plenty of women
out there just dying

to get a piece
of the Bradster.

[motorcycle revving]

There he is!

That's the one I want.

Can I have him?

He's all yours, muffin.

Come on girls!

Let's rope us a man!

[weakly]
All right.

[woman on headphones]
Bonjour.

Bonjour.

[woman on headphones]
Ne vous avez les bananes
aujourd'hui.

Ne vous avez les bananes
aujourd'hui.

[distant screaming]

[screams]

[fire alarm ringing]

[electricity zapping]

[many languages spoken quickly]

[Brad]
Mmm!

Looks like you won't
be making a party, robot girl.

[maniacal laughing]

[muffled speech]

I demand to know--

[painful scream]

What was that,
you handsome, handsome man?

Uh...I was wondering
why you captured me.

Oh, don't be coy.

After all our adventures,

and all that flirting.

Isn't it obvious
what I want?

Uh, to kick the snot
out of me again?

No, silly.

We're getting married!

And then, we'll move into
a nice cottage in the country--

just the three of us.

Three of us?

You, me,
and Mr. Froo Froo.

[meows]

[growls]

Mr. Froo Froo,
meet your new daddy.

Oh, Brad,
you've made me

the happiest girl
in the galaxy.

Wait, I didn't agree to--

Right.

We've got
a wedding to plan.

Olga, you take care
of the invitations.

Sluge, you take care
of the food.

And, Lenny,
I want you to take care

of the flowers, the bouquet,
the photographs, the punch,

the tuxedos, the license,
the guest book, the birdseed,

getting a location
for the reception,

arranging accommodations
for out-of-town guests,

cataloging the gifts,
keeping the in-laws happy,

folding the folding chairs,
and writing the thank-you notes.

And I'll sew
the wedding dress.

But leather or lace?

What about me?

You keep a close eye
on the groom,

or there won't
be a wedding.

Oh, no, you don't.

Froo Froo, go get Daddy.

Aww, now you're
playing hard to get.

That's so cute.

[rock music playing]

♪ ♪

[Brad screams]

[all]
Woo-hoo!

I'm being held prisoner!

[all]
Woo-hoo!

I'm in fear for my life!

[all]
Woo-hoo!

[Brad screams]

Woo-hoo!

You know, Tuck,
when I scream,

"Help,
somebody please help,"

you're one
of the somebodies

I had in mind.

What, and leave
before the cake?

[cheers and applause]

[beast roars]

[screaming]

Pair of fours?

You're better off.

[whirring]

[Jenny]
Hey! Hey!

Down here!

Hey, you're not
my floor waxer.

Thanks for the bulletin,
Captain Obvious.

Aww...

[church bells ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

[snoring]

[playingBridal March]

♪ ♪

[all]
Aww...

♪ ♪

[sonic g*n humming]

Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today

to join this
Orionaganthramphibian

and this, uh, uh...

[annoyed]
man...

in lawfully wedded
forevertude.

[whispers]
Psst, Tuck.

You gotta get me outta this.

What are you
talking about, Brad?

Open your eyes.

You've always wanted the wild,
adventurous life, haven't you?

Well, yeah.

Well, if this isn't it,
what is?

Now, lets have them rings.

[whistles loudly]

[choking]

If anyone knows a reason why
this couple should not wed,

speak now
or forever hold your peace.

[shocked]
Brad.

Brad!

Brad!

Brad!

Brad, you don't have
to go through with this!

I'm here to rescue you!

[punches, grunting]

Wait!
You don't need to--

I don't want--

Stop!

I don't want
to be rescued.

I want to get married.

What?

What?

What?

Oh, Bradley-boo.

Brad, what are you
talking about?

This is my big chance.

With Tammy at my side,

I can live
the wild, adventurous life

I've always wanted...

as part of a space
biker g*ng.

Wait, I don't believe you.

That sounds more
like Tuck than you.

You said it, sister.

Come on, Brad.

What's really
going on here?

Okay, look.
Here's the deal.

I know everyone thinks
I'm some sort of ladies' man.

But the truth is,
I never really dated that much.

[faking surprise]
Oh, uh, what?

No, really?

I--I had no idea.

I mean, wow,
are you kidding me?

Okay,
that's enough.

The point is,
Tammy picked me.

She's the first wom--uh,
female who's ever picked me.

Of course,
but she's evil.

I'm not afraid.

She likes me,

and I like her,

and we're
getting married,

and if you're my friend,
you'll support me.

Okay, I will.

I just thought...

So...I guess this
is it then.

What do you mean?

Well, we won't be hanging out
at Mezmers much

if you're halfway
across the galaxy.

Oh, we'll see
each other around,

I'm sure.

Well, good luck, Brad,

and congratulations.

All right, it's time
to seal the deal.

You may kiss the bride,
party boy.

[slurps]

Woof.

[howling]

[cheers]

So, Tuck, what's it like

being the world's richest
love scientist?

Well, maybe I was wrong.

Brad seems happy;
Tammy seems happy.

I guess what anyone else
feels is unimportant.

[clinking]

I'd like to propose a toast.

It warms all three of my hearts
to know that our little Tammy

has found
that special someone.

Someone to have,
and to hold, and hold down.

Someone to cherish,
to use and abuse.

Someone to do all the cooking,
cleaning, mopping, mowing,

manicures, and pedicures.

A husband who knows
the meaning of the words:

lifetime enslavement.

Uh, what was that last
part about enslave--

Now, now, Bradley,
don't go wandering off.

But, I don't--

Heel, husband.

But--
I said, "Heel!"

Good husband.

[approving whistle]

Uh, I want out.

I changed my mind.

I'm breaking up with you.

Are you sure,
Bradley-boo?

I was getting used
to having you around.

Aww, it's not you;
it's me.

I'd love to be
your sl*ve for life.

I just can't make that kind
of commitment right now.

Are you sure about this, Brad?

I'm sorry, sweety-feety.

You have to let me go.

Well, if this is
what you really want...

Good-bye, Bradley-boo.

[shrieking]

Uh, uh, Tammy?

What's going on?

You said
you wanted out.

This is how we
do things on Orion.

When the relationship
is over,

the bride
consumes the groom.

Much like our
own praying mantis.

Thanks, Tuck.

[snarling]

[Jenny]
But you can't eat him yet.

You haven't opened
your presents.

[expl*si*n]

[vacuum sputters]

Well, I guess
that's it, then.

No hard feelings?

Of course not.

It was fun
while it lasted.

Then we can still date,
right?

Good-bye, Brad.

Sorry it didn't
work out for you.

That's all right.

All the ladies in Tremorton
will rejoice

that the Bradster
is back on the market.

Get bent, Carbunkle.

All right.

Well, I'm glad
you'll still be around.

[Tuck]
Brad!

Brad, wait for me!

Aww, man, you blew it again,
didn't you?

Now I'll never get to go
on a space biker honeymoon.

Never say never.

[electricity crackling]

I can't believe we've
never tried this before.

I, for one,
am shocked.

This is nothing.

Bring it on.

Was that supposed
to happen?

[crowd]
Aww.

Hooray!

Aww.

[sputtering]

[Hardscape]
This time,
you have gone too far.

We've got a file
on your robot shenanigans

as thick
as a Sunday paper,

metro edition.

Does it mention all the times
I saved the Earth?

Actually, it does.

Nice work, by the way.

But you weren't
saving the Earth today,

were ya?

This was
outright negligence.

And this time,
we're gonna make you pay.

[Wakeman]
$300 million?

That's a lot of zeros.

We'll mail you
the rest of the zeroes

under separate cover.

You have 60 days to pay,

or we'll seize
everything you own.

Have a nice day.

There goes
the old college fund, huh?

Worse than that.

I'll have to sell
everything to pay this off.

What?

The house, the lab,
even my inventions.

[XJ7]
Online auction, here we come.

Mom, you can't do that.

There must be another way.

Like a bake sale.

Or a car wash.

Or a carnival.

Or a combination bake sale,
car wash,

carnival, and telethon,

with fireworks.

As interesting
as that sounds,

it still wouldn't be enough
to raise $300 million.

[Jenny]
This is so extreme.

Maybe we could just
rent out the house.

Or rent out Jenny.

Hey!

That's a great idea.

There are lots of people
who could use a powerful robot

for building buildings
or launching rockets.

Let's do it!

[Brad]
Gather round, folks,

and prepare to see
the eighth wonder of the world.

She's faster than
a hover speeder,

more powerful than
a pulsar cannon,

able to b*at tall villains
in a single bound.

Reliable Rent-A-Robot
is here to save the day.

Watch as the lovely Tuck
demonstrates her features.

Behold XJ9,

made from stainless steel
for easy cleaning.

This deluxe model
can move mountains,

divert rivers,

and bake
a mean chicken pot pie.

Just dial 555-ROBOT
for our reasonable rates.

Operators
are standing by.

[snoring]

Who wants to be the first
to harness the awesome power

of Reliable Rent-A-Robot?

[cheering]

We need help
on a major construction project

right away.

[jackhammer drilling]

[blows whistle]

[expl*si*n]

[woman]
I'll have
a Mega Monkey Burger,

fries, and a Sherpa Shake.

[Jenny]
Please pull forward.

[screams]

[flushing]

[rooster crows]

It's hard work,
but it beats digging ditches.

[snores]

My goodness, XJ9.

You look exhausted.

Can't rest.

Must work.

Must earn.

[Brad]
And earn you have.

We've been tracking your income.
Tuck?

What?

Can't a guy wear pearls
and taffeta around here?

Strictly speaking,
only after 6:00.

[offended]
Huh.

Anyway, in just one month
of back-breaking labor.

You have earned...

$16.72.

What?

That leaves us still
almost $300 million in debt.

Hark!

Do I hear the sound
of crushing defeat?

[Jenny]
What are you doing?

You've been evicted.

We're gonna level this property.

Why?

Uh, because we can.
That's not fair.

We still have one month
left to get that money.

Yeah.

Oh, don't worry,
we won't actually demolish

the place
for another four weeks.

By then, you'll have
a whole $33.54.

[laughing cruelly]

Hmm,
is it after 6:00 already?

Well, come on, XJ9.

Lets pack some essentials
and find a nice park bench

to sleep on.

No way.

You two are staying with us
till this thing blows over.

Thank you.

You won't even
know we're there.

[gargling]

You and your bright ideas.

[dramatic music]

[Tuck screaming]

[phone ringing]

Reliable Rent-A-Robot,
how can we help you?

This is Montalban J. Bryce,
of Bryce Amalgamated Dynamics.

I need a supersecret package
delivered to Tokyo overnight.

No questions asked.

Huh?

I said no questions!

And by the way,
money is no object.

Can you do it?

[Jenny]
Reliable Rent-A-Robot,

at your service.

You are so hired.

[Jenny]
Finally,
a job worthy of my skills.

[speaking Japanese]

Domo arigato.

Yes, Hiroshi?

She's there already?

You want all our business?

Fantastic.

Arigato, Hiroshi-san.

[Jenny]
I'm back, Mr. Bryce.

Wow, you are amazing.

I'd like you to be our
full-time delivery agent.

Here's an advance on
your first week's salary.

All right, Jenny.

Keep this up,

and we'll have
that debt paid off

in a couple more weeks.

I know;
isn't it great?

Oh, I don't know, XJ9.

This man's business practices
seem a little shady.

What's in those packages,
who are they for,

and why are they
paying you so much?

It all sounds
off-color to me.

Hey, if you wanna
talk off-color,

let's talk about
bathroom hygiene.

[Wakeman]
Even the company's
initials are B-A-D.

But we've only got six days
left to save the house.

We need that money.
I gotta go.

[Tuck]
Hey, is that my juice box?

Is that my girdle?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Oh, no.
What's wrong?

If I don't get this package
delivered on time,

my boss will k*ll me.

Hey, both our packages
are going to the same address.

I can deliver both, no problem.

Thanks, Jenny.
I owe you one.

We couriers
gotta stick together.

Hey, it beats
diggin' ditches.

[man over intercom]
Your delivery
is here, ma'am.

Send it in.

What did I tell you, PJ?

My girl Jenny
is always on time.

Oh, my, it looks like
she's delivered

your competitor's bid
along with yours.

I'll have to consider both
and get back to you.

You, me, conference room,


I'm sorry, MJ.

I--I was just doing
a fellow courier a favor.

That other courier
worked for my top competitor.

Helping him was no favor to me.

We can't afford favors
in our cutthroat business.

What exactly is our business?

Only one of the most important
industries known to mankind.

We make the free prizes
inside cereal boxes:

such classics as the plastic
atomic sub, the cosmic kazoo,

and the Venus de Milo
rubber eraser.

[snickers]

You may laugh,

but this is
a multibillion dollar industry.

The toil of hundreds
of professionals,

the joy of millions of children,

and the luxurious lifestyles
of a few rich guys like me

hang in the balance.

Gah.

I never knew.

It's our job to make sure

that our team
stays on top.

that means b*ating
the competition

whenever and however we can.

Can you do it?

Sir, yes, sir.

I can't hear you.

Sir, yes sir!

Okay, I heard that.

crash!

Jenny, I am very pleased.

Since our little talk,
you have outdone yourself.

Thanks, MJ.

But, I don't think I'm cut out
for this cutthroat business.

I don't like winning
by making someone else fail.

What?
What about the team?

Sorry, I don't think
this is the right team for me.

Fine.

Lets see you be
so high and mighty

when you're out on the street.

How are you gonna save your home
if I withhold your paycheck?

You can't do that.

If we don't pay tomorrow,
they're tearing it down.

I'll make it easy for you.

Just do one last job
for me tonight,

and you'll have enough
to pay off your entire debt.

What do I have to do?

This is our new cereal toy.

Uh, that's--

Exactly.

It stinks.

Unfortunately, we have a major
press conference tomorrow,

and we can't
unveil a toy that stinks.

Now, this--

this is the prototype
for our competitor's new toy.

A high-tech hologram
recorder ring.

Cool.

I need you to take
the entire stock of these rings,

sneak into the KoKo Cluster
cereal warehouse and swap out

all our lame prizes
for their cool new ones.

No way, MJ.

That's stealing.

So what if I steal
from the competition?

I'll lie, cheat, and steal

if that's what it takes
to be number one.

You got that?

[resignedly]
I got it.

Hello, everyone.

Thanks for coming this morning.

Today what you're
going to see--

Psst, Jen.

I know this guy's
your boss,

but shouldn't you

be saving
your house about now?

Shh,
I'm on it.

Now, if you'll all open
your cereal boxes,

I think you'll see

exactly what makes
Bryce Amalgamated number one.

So what if I steal
from the competition?

I'll lie, cheat, and steal

if that's what it takes

to be number one.

[angry yelling]

[nervously]
What's the big deal, folks?

It's just a cereal box prize.

As President of the Tremorton
Cereal Prize Collectors League,

I am outraged.

Cereal prizes gave me
the will to live

after a devastating w*r injury.

My family came to this
country for the cereal prizes.

Meh.

Well done, XJ9.

Hey, Bryce is getting away.

[Jenny]
I'll take it from here, guys.

Looks like I've got
one last delivery to make.

It beats diggin' ditches.

[Hardscape]
Well, well, Ms. XJ9.

Looks like you won't be able
to make your final payment.

[man]
Hold it right there.
I'll pay the difference.

I'm not just
a cereal prize collector.

I'm also a billionaire rancher.

Oh, thank you so much.

If there's anything
I can ever do in return--

Well, as a matter of fact...

None of them
fancy transformications, now.

I like my ditches
dug the old-fashioned way.

Yes, sir.

[horse neighs]

You can go home now.

Well, I know
when I'm not wanted.

[rock music]

♪ ♪