03x04 - I Don't Date, I Mate

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on Below Deck...

- Mr. Slover.

- Oh, my Gosh.
I'm so excited.

- It's your charter guest
soulmate.

- A mermaid tail?
Where did that come from?

I have a dope mermaid costume.

Of course
I brought my mermaid tail.

You can't--I don't travel--
It's like,

my passport, my bikini,

and my mermaid tail.

- Rocky wouldn't even
take the covers off the bed.

It's called
"turndown" for a reason.

The clue is in the name.

- Entertain me.

Emile just freaking left me.

Emile!

Does he have a chance
to get a little smoochy-smooch?

Only if he could play
Smooth Operator.

- Whoo!
You gonna swim with us?

- Yeah, I'm just gonna hop
in for a dip.

All I see
is those pretty butt cheeks,

and I follow like a dog in heat.

- Can you do me a favor

and, uh, hop out
as quickly as you hopped in?

Come up to the bridge please.
- Advice?

- Honesty.
Don't get defensive.

Captain likes people
to just smile and nod.

- I'm want have a chat
with you.

- I'm just--
I'm a little confused.

I mean, you really think

that I really haven't
been pulling my weight?

- Why the fááá would you
talk back to the captain?

[ship horn blows]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I don't want
to have these conversations.

I don't like them.
I'm sure you don't like them.

All I need you to do
is your job.

- I don't think this scenario's
gonna be good for me,

and I think at this point

I'll have to give you
my notice of that.

- Wait, what?

Did you just actually quit?

- I'm sorry.

- It is what it is.
- It is what it is.

Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Call him a tender
and get him off here.

- Okay.

- Go ahead
and keep ironing everything

that needs to be ironed,

and if it needs
to be touched up, I'll--

- How are you?
- Ugh...

Outside.

- What?

What'd he mean?
- He quit.

- Huh.
- Yeah.

- Wow.

- What's going on?
- Oh, fááá me.

So I went for a swim.
It was all harmless.

I came back within two minutes,
and I got right back to my job,

and then he goes into
this whole thing about my work

and how when he sees me,
I'm not working,

but everything else--
I have a logbook of all the jobs

that I've done
and what I've been doing.

I've done every part of it,

and I even had a smile
on my face.

So for somebody to make
that comment, that was it.

And I sat there,
and I said, "Look, thank you,

but this isn't right.
I can't do this."

- If you can already tell
that this is not for you,

I think it's wise and brave
to know that and accept it.

You know, I love Don.
He's really great at his job.

Unfortunately,
that's not the job

this boat requires from him,

and he wasn't able
to adapt to that.

Sometimes leaving something
that isn't right for you

is not giving up--

it's knowing when to hold them
and when to fold them.

- This is one job
you can't half-ass,

and that's why I get so upset.

- Yachting's hard.
- No, it's not.

Not when you find the right boat
with the right crew.

Not when you throw
all of this on the mix...

- Yeah. When you find that,
you just let me know,

'cause I've been looking
for that for a long time.

- What can I get you all?
- sh*ts.

- I have tequila
for you guys.

- You put pineapple,
though.

- That'd be delicious.
- Great idea--that's a very

good idea.
- Okay.

- Don't let the primary
out of your sight.

- Yeah. Keep watch
over the primary.

- He's very delicate.

- Did you hear what's gone on
in the last 20 minutes?

- Lobsters have come in?

- [laughs] Yeah.

Don quit.

- Donnie quit?
- Yeah.

- What did you just say?

- Captain called Donnie
into the wheelhouse,

and apparently he quit.

- Halle-freaking-llueha,

'cause
you suck anyways, Don.

But at the same time,
holy sháá.

That's, like,
a whole person we're missing.

Like, we have a lot to do.

I don't believe in quitting.
I'm not a quitter.

I thought
he would have more pride,

but if you're gonna argue
with everybody on the boat,

just as well pack your bags.

- That's it?
- I think that's it, yeah.

- If you leave any thing here,
just let me know,

and I'll get it to you.
- I don't know.

Maybe I jumped the g*n,

but how can I work for a guy
when he's gonna

give me a hard time for doing
a back flip in the water?

- Good luck, buddy, all right?
- I'll miss you guys.

- Good luck.
- Yeah, for sure.

- Bye, Don.
- Aah! Gonna miss you.

An engineer and a captain have
to have the best relationship.

You have to have somebody
you can communicate with.

So for him to call me out
for that incident,

are you fáááing kidding me?

- Let's get back to work.

- Can I get you something
to drink?

- I would love a cocktail.

How about a cosmo?
Shaken, hard, icy light pink?

- I make a pretty good cosmo.
- Yeah, okay.

- Our job as yachties
is to never let the guests

know when there's a problem,

especially if that guest
is Dean Slover.

- Cheers, everyone.
- Cheers.

- See, that looks good.
- That looks a lot better.

- Don's fáááing gone,
and Emile works so hard.

Connie works so hard.

We're getting
it done without Don,

and we're getting
it done better.

- If he argues
with the captain...

- Yeah.
That's over the line.

- He should've
known better.

- Over the fáááing line,
Donnie.

[laughter]

- How's this morning
going?

- Really well.
- It did?

- So if we were,
like, stranded on this island

and you had to pick one person,
who would it be?

Who did you pick?

- [whispers] I like Emile
'cause he's nice.

- Emile?
- Check this out.

But I don't like how how--

Emile.
- Emile.

- Emile.
- What's up? Do you want Emile?

[laughing]

- Emile's cute.
He's such a gentleman.

He's really nice,
but he's young and immature,

and...
not that that's a bad thing.

Emile, you got a lot
going for you.

- Oh, you've got a lot
going for you.

- You are so close
to just hitting the ball

out of the park, and all you
got to do is look at the ball.

You got to sink that hook in.

You got to get that hook
in there and really get it in.

And guess where you're looking?
- Think about the ball.

- Guess where you're looking?
Guess where you're looking?

- Down--he's looking down.
- In the stands.

Oh, he's looking down.
Oh, yeah, he's looking down.

All he has to do is run home,
and he can't do it.

Maybe I'm supposed
to show him what's up.

I need a nicer--
I need more of a gentleman,

and Eddie has what it takes.

Not Eddie. See,
now I'm thinking about Eddie.

Eddie.
Oh, I forgot about Eddie.

- No, Eddie's out.
- No, Eddie's not--

- Sorry.
- I want Eddie.

I want Eddie so bad.
- No, Eddie's out.

- I want Eddie so bad.
- You can't.

- No, seriously, if Eddie didn't
have a girlfriend, it'd be on.

- Yes.
- Eddie is the one.

- Cheers!
- Bon appetit.

- How many boats
have you worked on?

You're really good.
- Oh, thank you.

I think somewhere around 16?

- When did you start
indulging blanket origami?

- When I met you all.
- Fantastic.

- So did that totally bore you?
Did you have a nice time?

- I had a great time
lobster diving.

- I like a spectator sport.

- I do want to see a dive-off
between the staff.

- Dean's chartered a lot
of yachts,

so just being on the boat
isn't a novelty for him.

- If we can arrange a dive-off,
I've got $500 to the winner.

You arrange the time

and every thing else...
- Certainly.

- And we're on for a dive-off.
- Amazing.

If he wants a dive-off,

we'll give him a dive-off.

- The guy with the tats
can back flip off the top.

I'd really like to see that.
- Um, the guy with the tats,

I'm not sure he's gonna
win this competition.

Because he's gone.

- Aye, Captain.

So do you propose a crew
dive-off the boat competition,

and he said "I will give $500
to the winner."

- It's like,
"Dance, monkeys, dance.

"Jump, monkeys, jump!

Dive.
Go."

- There are no depths

to which we will not sink

to get a good tip.

- He might be paying
for, you know, freestyle.

You know, it doesn't have to be
technical, but get creative.

Maybe wear your tutu?
I'm gonna make scorecards.

- So Dean's giving me $500?

A diving contest, which means
I got to bring out the big g*ns.

I was a junior Olympic diver.

Can you still do it?
I don't know.

- Have you guys seen
any more mustaches anywhere?

- Here's one.

- Yes. Eduardo Lopez
is here to play!

- Oh.
- Oh...ha ha ha ha!

Drinking tequila.

- They're all changing
into their diving uniforms.

- Yes.
- I had to pull out my best,

which would be
my shark one-piece and my tutu.

But really
I would rather go naked.

- I like to compete.
I'm a competitive person,

but honestly,
I'm a little afraid of heights.

- Well, if it's $500,
I'm gonna bring out the pink.

I'm gonna bring out my tricks,
and I'm gonna win.

- This diving competition,
it's not me.

Sorry, no way, Jose.

- Oh, I'm so excited
for this.

- You know, you have to judge
the whole thing.

Presentation...

- Guess this is it.
- Oh, my God.

- Personality...

[rattling]

[toot]

Performance...

- The whole thing.

- Oh.

- What?
- Look wise.

- I want this $500.

- He knows what numbers
he's picking,

so he's writing his number.

- What are you doing now?
- I'm getting my diving suit on.

I don't want to get my hair wet.

- You know how many hair
dryers you can buy with $500?

- Do you know how much time
I don't have?

Guests always think
it's gonna be so fun

to have the crew join in,

but we have plenty
of other work to do,

so the Gumby suit is kind
of like, "I'll do what you want,

but I'm not gonna mess
up my hair."

- You look so, so awkward.
[laughter]

Kate, you're gonna win.
Ugh.

[chatter, laughter]

- Are they not diving
off the top-top?

- Off the bow.
- Oh, off the bow.

- Yes.

- All right, sports fans,

welcome to the first annual
comedy Eros dive competition.

First up we have Amy "Captain
in Spirit Team" Johnson.

all: Whoo!

- The things
we do for our charter guests.

Team Dean!

[indistinct chatter]

- Hey.
- All right.

- Yeah! Whoo!

[guests cheering]

- I want to get this over

with as quick as possible
without breaking my neck.

Team Dean!
Oh, my--

Whoo!

- Oh, no.

- Hey, what's up?

[giggling]

[both laughing]

- Amy!
- Amy!

[cheering, whistles]

- I want to get this over
with as quick as possible

without breaking my neck.

Team Dean!
Oh, my--

Whoo!

- Oh, no.
- Oh, that was---

- Oh, my God,
the robe, the robe.

- The robe!
- Whoo!

- Yeah.

- Next up we have
Connie "Shark t*nk" Arias.

- Aw, yeah.

[overlapping whooping]

- Oh, that was awesome.

- She is Kate "Don't get
my hair wet" Chastain.

[laughter]

- Gonna hit that water
like a brick.

[overlapping chatter,
laughter]

- Hurry up!

- Here we go.
- Whoo!

- Oh!

[laughter]

- Solid 8!

Yeah!

- I love a good competition.

- Next up we have

Emile "The real deal"
Kotze!

and his member.

- If these are real pros,
I'm competitive.

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah!
- Whoo!

- Call me--and then
go put "call me."

- We appreciate
the effort.

- Oh.

- Eduardo "Dirty Sanchez"
Lucas.

- Yeah!

- [ululating]

- Yeah!

Yeah!
Yeah!

- Bet that's gonna leave a mark.

- Yes. That's amazing.

- Next up we have
Rocky "The Rocket" Dakota.

all: Rocky. Rocky. Rocky.
- Whoo!

- Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.
- all: Whoo!

all: Rocky!

- all: Ah!

[all chanting]
Rocky, Rocky, Rocky...

Oh!
[loud cheering]

- Yes. Yes!

- Okay, let's give a big round
of applause

to our honorable
and esteemed judges.

It was a great idea.

Everybody had a lot of fun
with it.

I don't think I've ever seen
the crew and the guests

laugh so hard simultaneously.

- Well played.

- Uh, Dean wanted to do
an award ceremony.

- This is the perfect thing
for this charter.

He wants to have
an awards ceremony.

It goes with my swim platform
evening cocktails idea.

- Nippers.
- Nippers, okay.

- Yeah.
- All right,

so we're gonna have one drink.

Then we'll come back, shower up,
get dressed for dinner.

- The Greek party is perfect
for Dean because it's togas.

It's headbands.

- We'll plan a party
around 8:00, 8:30?

- I love it. I love it.
- Okay.

- Award ceremony before dinner,
is that all right?

- That'd be great. Love that.
- Okay.

Have fun.
- Thank you.

- Hey, Emile, why don't you
go take a break

while the guests
are off the boat?

- Whoop-whoop.

- Hey, Amy. Kate.
- Go ahead.

- Can you come to the main salon
real quick?

The guests are only going for
one drink and then coming back,

so we need to get the costumes
in their room.

- I'll be right down.

- Let's go.
- All right, we're good to go.

Let's go.
- Nippers, here we come.

- Hey, Rocky,
the guests are away.

I guess you can go ahead and
take your 30-minute break now.

- It's gorgeous!

- Nippers drinks all around.

Cheers, guys.
- To a beautiful trip.

- You might have

to cut these cheap tablecloths
to make two togas.

- But here's the question,
do we cut it

halfway the long-ways down

so it just kind of drapes
over them and then it's belted?

- Like a sash?
- I always love a good party,

and especially
when there's costumes and themes

and it's Grecian.
Like, hello.

Our boat name is Eros.

- Oh, God, we have to make
a lighting bolt so fast.

- Like, pinned on a shirt
or something?

- No, he's gonna carry it

so that he can strike people
down with it.

- Oh!

- Hey, what's up?
- Nothing.

I've got,
like, 20 minutes left.

[giggling]

- We need a bowl.

- I think there's a bunch
on the crew mess coffee table.

- I'll see if
I can find it.

Hard. None of this girly, like,
"Oh, I want to pet you."

If you're gonna pet me,
then pet me.

You're gonna rub, rub.

I've had three boyfriends
in my entire life...

- Whoa.
- Like, my previous--yeah,

and...
- Excuse me.

- She kept on hitting
her head.

[laughing]

- And I've been single
for four years now.

- Yeah, that's what I mean.
Like, on top of you.

- [giggling]

I feel like I'm here with him
for, like, a reason.

I don't know
what that reason is,

so it's like,
"Why not give it a sh*t?"

[both laughing]

- I just walked downstairs, and
I was gonna go to my bathroom,

and I heard Raquel's voice,

but she wasn't in her room,
and I look over,

and I see her in the top bunk
in the room next door.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's Emile's bunk.
- I was not expecting that.

- Are they snuggling?
- I'm not sure.

She was kind of moving around.
- Wow.

- I didn't want to, like,
be awkward and be like,

"What's going on in here?"

- Thanks for letting me
come in to talk to you.

- It's my pleasure.

- What? Fááá yeah.

- Thank you.

- Looks so cute.

- By the hair
of our chinny-chin-chins...

- Right?
- I forgot one thing for you.

So you may strike them down.
- I can't wait.

- I have to have this.
- Uh-huh.

Done and done.

- He's Zeus, king of the gods.

I knew he'd love it.
We have, like, the same brain.

Enjoy your rest.
- I will see you at 8:00.

- Perfect.
- Thanks, Kate.

- It's exciting.
Is this love?

- This is gonna be fun.

- Let's bring
the whole jungle up.

- Yeah.
- We're not going for subtle.

The Greek party,
I just keep themeing up.

So the swim platform
will be sea life

with mermaids and shells,

and the main deck will be
dinner, Mount Olympus, flowers,

candles, earthly, beautiful.

So I think Rocky's perfect
mermaid swim platform sea life.

- This looks so good.
Mind blowing.

- So the awards ceremony ends.

You've got your tail on standby.

You jump overboard, come around.

- It looks beyond amazing
in here.

Really.
- Oh, good.

- Hi.

- Hi, how are you?

- Good.

Um...

- Hi, Zeus!
You nailed it.

- Is this coming together?

- I feel like
you really nailed it.

- All right then!
- You can strike people down.

- Well, I plan on doing that.
- Yeah, it's like [murmurs].

- How are you looking?
- Real good.

- Plato, huh?
- Yeah.

- And Rocky's gonna
do the mermaid.

If we had somebody
from deck crew

also participating
in the theme night?

- What are you looking for?
- Um, I'm thinking maybe

Emile could wear kind
of a toga, a tasteful toga.

- Yeah!
[laughing]

You'd have to ask him.
I can't give him that order.

- Emile. Emile, Kate.

- He's very tired, and he's
been grumpy all day, so...

- Go.
- Emile, do you mind

playing a small, minor role
in the theme night tonight?

- Ask her if
she'll give me a backrub.

- If you give him a backrub,
he'll do it.

- Copy.

- Okay.

- [indistinct] is on his way.
- Copy.

- Every Greek party needs
a Greek god to walk around,

and I think Emile's perfect.

He's got a great body,
chiseled features,

and a brain made of stone.

I would recommend
taking your shirt off

and using this to cover the
parts you don't want exposed.

Feel free to express yourself.

And then you
can tie it with this,

and then you get to wear this.

Oh, that looks really
handsome on you.

Oh, my gosh, you're so Greek.

- I said I'll do it.
Taking one for the team.

but I'm not happy about it.

- All right,
let's go on downstairs.

- I'm gonna give you
a nametag.

It's Adonis.
It's actually a high compliment.

I didn't get in this industry
to be somebody's boy toy.

Fááá.

- Sháá.

- Damn it.
- Where were you guys

when this was going on?

- Somebody's gonna have to get
in the water and get it off.

At this point,
things are gonna get ugly.

It's actually a high compliment.

I'm actually disappointed
Don is not here,

'cause that is the stuff
he loved doing

'cause
he loved the attention.

- You look good.
- I--but I don't care.

I don't feel comfortable.

- You're turning me on
right now.

Look at this.
Oh, yeah.

- All right,
maybe the toga thing does work.

Kate, where do you want me?
- Down there.

Just go down there.
I'll tell you. Just go.

- Look at this.
- Oh, look at this.

- I love it!

- Derobe.
- Oh!

- People of Eros,
our first diving championship,

and I'm here to name the winner.

Rocky.

all: Whoo!

- It was amazing.

- Let's go party!

- That's great, Rocky.
You're the best diver.

Now if only you could just dive
right in to being a stewardess.

- Now let us partake
in a little food and wine.

- Yeah.
- If you don't mind

having a drink right here while
we finish lighting the candles,

I have a little bit
of Greek trivia.

- Mm.

- Not sure how much you
know about Greek mythology.

Who the Hell was testicles?

- Testacles.

- Ha!

- Oh, I love it.

Rocky's mermaid costume
is epic.

I mean, who doesn't want
to be a mermaid?

Let's be honest.

Let's all be a mermaid.

- Who was the wife
of Odysseus

that waited for 20 years
for his return from Troy?

- Good luck.

I'm going to light the candles.
- Okay.

- What is the name
of a half human,

half fish sea nymph?

- Hey, a mermaid!

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah!

- Fantastic.
Fantastic.

- A Siren.
- Holy sháá.

- Is that Rocky?

- She's actually got a fin on.

- That's awesome.
- Amazing.

- Oh, my...

- We move up to Mount Olympus
for dinner.

- Rocky, I love you.
- It's Daryl Hannah.

[laughter]

- This is beautiful.

- I like it.
- Thank you.

- Rocky, do you want to go
blow-dry your hair a little bit?

- Rocky, good job.
They loved it.

- Pickled cucumber.
You got normal cucumber.

- So which
should I take first?

- No, they just sip it,
eat it and sip it.

I'd have to say
European yachting

is a little bit more
sophisticated.

Straight plates,
ladies, yeah?

- So this is
a deconstructed Greek salad.

- Ooh!
- I've never seen

anything like this.

- It's amazing.
- It's a beautiful dish.

- Leon, they are loving it.

- Yeah.

- I'm actually
quite proud of Leon

for embracing the Greek theme.

I'm wearing him down.

These are rose garlic
beef cheeks.

- Wow!

- Wow.

- This is very good.
- Cooked perfect.

- I'm not much of a theme guy.
I let the food speak for itself.

I went for beef cheeks,
and it's always a winner.

- I'm about to start
clearing.

They love it.

I would love to have a fun
working relationship with Leon.

Should I be sweet?
Should I be sassy?

Should I be kiss-assy?

I don't know.
I'll try any thing.

He's such a psycho.

So what we have here
is a Greek creme brulee.

The bottom is
a strawberry confit.

[indistinct chatter]

- We must express our gratitude.

- They seem very happy,
Leon, like, over the moon.

- So should we go upstairs?
- Yeah.

- Let's go.
- After you.

- Bon appetit, guys.
- You outdid yourself.

- Most beautiful food
I've had in a very long time.

- No problem.
Thank you, guys.

- The timing
of the meal was perfect.

Loved it.
- Thank you.

Thank you for dining with us.
Cheers, guys. Thank you.

- Thank you.
- I'll see yous later.

Thank you. See you later.
- Cheers, guys.

- Good night, Patrick.
- Oh.

- Oh, I'm gonna be
in the doghouse tomorrow.

I forgot to call
my girlfriend.

- Will she ignore you?

Will she...
- No, she'll be like--

She'll just get...
- Call you an assáááá?

- Upset.

[overlapping chatter]

- Like sad or mad?
- Like sad.

She'll get really sad.
- Aw.

- Why do you have to
hurt her feelings?

Why are you so mean?
- Come on then.

- It sucks having a girlfriend
far away,

and it sucks for her
having a boyfriend far away.

Idle hands
make the Devil's work, right,

so I keep my hands busy.

- How long have you guys
been together?

- Oh, God, like,


- The ring...
- You gonna pop the question?

- Come on.
- Not yet.

- The ring?
- We're in no rush.

No rush.

- Thank you so much.

- My pleasure.

- Not for a few hours.

- So how do you guys
feel

considering
were down an indiv--

What's your consensus on that?
- Great.

- I don't think
it really makes a difference.

- Yeah.
- Actually I think it actually

made things go a little smoother
because, you know, with Don,

I was, like,
relying on him to do things,

but then he wouldn't do it.

But now this guy and this girl
here work super hard.

- I'm not worried about it.

I'm gonna put Emile on the bow
and do the big sháá with her.

- Works for me.

- You ready
for some stew school 101?

- Yeah, let's do it.

- Kate's main beef with Rocky

is that she doesn't know
how to do her job.

- I just feel
like Rocky's here more for fun

than her career.
- Yeah.

- Maybe if you could help her?
- Yeah.

So if I can teach Rocky
how to be a good stew,

problem solved.

First things for sure,
want to make sure

these are shut at night.
- Okay.

- And then we'll just
fold this back.

We kind of do the harmonica
thing here,

and then take the sheet
so it's the easiest possible way

for a drunk charter guest
to fall into bed.

You want to pay attention
to this corner,

like, see, you don't
want to see folded back up,

and then this needs to be,
like, tucks in there.

So you kind of just give it
a fluff and a chop.

So then you want to hold this
and this, and just push this.

And then you
just accordion this.

For the charter guests
just to not see any water spots.

See these water spots?

You want to make sure
those aren't there.

And then any water spots that...

- Amy is great for taking
the time to teach me this.

- And then any water spots
that may be on the mirror...

- But it's like, "Yo,"...

- And replacing any toiletry.

- "It's so much work."

- Oh, you got the fluff
and chop down.

Sweet. That's awesome.
Good job.

- Fááá this.

I'm, like, trying to be polite.
I'm holding it in.

Namaste.
Namaste.

Listen, I love it.

I'm really getting this,
but I need a minute right now,

'cause this is, like,

I'm just breathing again.

- Like, do you just feel
like the deep way

I explained it--
- No, no, no.

I have to process this all,
you know?

- Baby girl,
I'm trying to help you.

'Cause if you don't step up
to the plate,

we've got to get
someone in here that will.

So I'm gonna go check
on laundry,

and holler
if you need anything.

- Got it.

- Hey, you all right?
- It's just a barnacle cut

from, like, ten days ago,

and it's just deciding
to still ooze and be red.

- Looks really gross.
All right,

so get that forward bowline
that's on the dolphin.

Get that on as soon
as you can, okay?

Be quick with it.

Like, I really don't want
to have another meeting

like we had last time.

- No.
We're looking out for you, man.

- Okay, guys, tender's away.

Let's get the anchor
up and get out of here.

It's show time.

- Hey, Cap,
we got a tight chain coming out

at 12:00 sitting in front of us.

All right, anchor's home.

- Is someone
watching that towline?

- Connie.
Connie, can you pull up?

Sháá. Neutral.

Neutral. Neutral.
- At neutral.

- The tender's loose.

- Damn it.

- Oh, no. This is not right.

I should've been there.

- Yeah, it's cut.

- Where were you guys
when this was going on?

- Lowering
those fenders over.

- Directly under the bow
to seal it.

- I always put the tender
on the tow

so that we can bring it with us
as we head back to dock,

but this time
I didn't make sure

that people were in the back
watching the tender.

- Hey, Lee. Eddie.
- Go.

- We're gonna have
to put the anchor back down,

and we're gonna need
to get someone

under to cut that line
off the prop.

- Copy that.
We've sucked up the towline.

How does that happen

when I've got somebody
back there monitoring that?

- Does anybody know where
the fáááing masks are kept?

Fááá.

- This is what I want. I want
you to put in extra fáááing work

because you're the one
who fáááing cheated on me...

and I think every one
of our crew is one of those.

Captain Lee is obviously
Poseidon, god of the sea.

Emile, he's like a minotaur,
half man, half bull.

Amy is Dionysus, the goddess
of wine and good cheer.

- Whoo!

- Connie could really be
any Greek goddess

because she's versatile.
- Give me my pants.

- And then Rocky
is clearly a narcissist,

'cause she only
cares about herself.

Leon, Cyclops, a big monster
that only sees things one way.

Eddie is clearly Atlas

'cause he's got the world
on his shoulders.

And I'm Athena, goddess
of wisdom and battle strategy.

under to cut that line
off the prop.

- Copy that.
We've sucked up the towline.

- Does anybody know where
the fáááing masks are kept?

- Somebody's gonna
have to get in the water,

got to get under there
and get it off,

get the anchor back up.

Let's get it done.

- When my crew screws up,

it's my blame because I'm
the one in charge of them.

I should've communicated
a little better, and I--

I take responsibility for this.

- Let's get out of here.
- Got it?

- Oh, thank God, Amy.
- Ohh...

- All right, guys,
we're docking in ten minutes.

Interior crew,
I need radio silence from here

until we get tied up, please.

All right, let's do this.

Let's get everything
we got as far as fenders

go over the side now.
- Got it.

- Moving to [indistinct] station
port side.

[low transmission]

- Okay.

- All right,
let's lock it in.

Lock the spring lines in,
please.

- Roger that.

- Let's get that forward line.
- I'm pulling it in.

- Your spring lines
are locked in, Connie?

- I am locked in.

- Nice job, everybody.

Down one person,
and you guys pulled it off.

I need everybody
on the aft deck ASAP.

Hey, sports fans.

Show time.
- Are we ready?

- Hate to say good-byes.

- Take care.
- Have a safe journey.

- Thank you, friends.

[overlapping good-byes]

- Thank you for everything.
- Thank you.

- It was an amazing trip.
- Thank you.

- Captain,
I speak for all of us.

We had the most amazing time,
and it's because of all of you.

Connie out lobster diving
with us.

Rocky, your mermaid
just was a huge hit.

Kate, the theme party
last night was so much fun,

and Chef Leon, outstanding.

Every meal was outstanding,
and we had the best time,

and you guys
deserve all of that.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Bye.

- Bye, guys.
- Bye.

- Okay, let's get at it.

Attention all crew, I need
everybody in the crew mess

on the double.

- Emile.
Oh, Emile, let me get in here.

Oh, Emile.

I'm getting in here.

Oh, yeah.
What's up, dude?

- This boat does hold 21 people
comfortably.

Do your really have to go
at it right here?

- I think this was
a great charter

in spite of some hiccups
that we did have.

The deck crew needs to be back
there observing the towline,

keeping it out of the props

so we don't have another
incident like we just had.

Judging by the bulge
in my back pocket,

it's pretty good.



It is in Bahamian money,

but the bank
will make the swap out.

It's a one-to-one.
Eddie. Amy.

Freaking nice job.

- Thank you, Captain.
- Very nice.

- Bye, Don.
Sorry, check you later.

We'll take your tip.

- Rocky,...
- Thank you, Captain.

- Your mermaid was a hit.

Outstanding.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Dean's trip was one
of the best charters

I've ever worked
even though Don quit,

but honestly, Amy and I
should be getting Rocky's tip.

- You guys
will be staying in tonight.

Trying to get a deckhand
in here,

so I want the boat flipped.

Nicely done.
- Yay!

- What are you doing with that?

- You've got to--

And the bottom as well,

the whole pole,
like you jerk a guy off.

- Go talk
to whoever you need to talk to.

- Emile.
- Yes, Captain?

- How are you?
- Good. Yourself? Good.

Just keeping the boat clean.
- Yeah?

- Um, I know we're not allowed
off the boat tonight.

- That would be true.

- Can I have dinner off the boat
with Rocky tonight?

Asking the captain
for his permission

is like going back
to the principal's office.

It's only dinner.

- So I've got to let
both of you go?

- Uh, yeah.
Can--can you?

- Dinner, huh?
- For dinner, yeah.

- Well...

- Can we?

- I suppose.

Two hours.
- Two hours?

- That's not 2 1/2 hours.

- Okay. Thank you.

- You're welcome.
Enjoy yourself.

Have some fun.
- Thanks.

- All right, buddy.

I'd like somebody
to take me to dinner.

- Yo.

- Yeah.
- What up?

- What up?
How you doing?

You're smiling.

What's going on?

- I asked Captain Lee if we
could go out for dinner tonight.

- You and I?
- Yeah.

- Off the boat?
- 8:30.

- I love it.
- Have something

to eat away from everybody.
- I'm so down.

I would love to go
on a date,

and you, like, are telepathic.
- Synchronized.

- Aw.

That's so cute.

It's so cute you asked me out.
Of course I'll go out with you.

Yeah, you ask me out,
I'll go out with you.

Emile just asked me out
on a date.

- Whoa!
- Whoo.

- How did he ask this?
- Yeah, let's hear it.

- He was really cute.
He read my mind.

It was, like, telepathic.
- Oh, my gosh.

- He knew
what he came there for...

- Really?
- And he delivered.

It was like,...
[overlapping chatter]

- What are you gonna wear?
- I don't know!

Like, it was like this. Bam.

- Nothing like being a man.

And I just told you,
we're going on a date.

That sound good?
- That's what I need.

I don't need
any of this wishy-washy.

- See, but there's potential.
- That's got some balls

if you're asking Captain
to take some girl out.

- Yeah, that's cute.
- Yep.

- Boom.
- That's awesome.

- Winning. Everyone.
- Cool.

I got to get back to work.

- See you.

- She's cute.

- I normally don't go
on dates in general.

Dates are for old people,

but Rocky is the type of girl
that likes to go on dates,

and it would be good
to get to know Rocky.

I could get some cologne there,
buddy.

- Hey, baby girl.
- Hey.

I'm gonna get dressed now.
And my question is, what am I

saying with what outfit?
You know what I mean?

- I'm always rooting
for a boat romance.

A little excitement
and some romance

that I can vicariously
live through

because obviously nothing's
happening in this direction.

- Really?

- There you go.

- Groomed by a professional.

- On your hands
and your neck, just dry it.

It can go on your arms
as well.

You should probably do that.
- Yeah.

- I've never gone on a date
with a younger guy ever.

I think he knows that I'm a lot,

and that's the truth.
I am a lot.

- Aw, so pretty.

- Fááá [mutters].

- Wait, are you getting
really nervous right now?

- Fáááing warm in here.

- You ready?
- I'm ready.

Are you ready? There you go.
- Aw.

- I got you a flower.

- That is really cute.
- Okay.

- Let's do this.
- Let's go.

- You all have fun.
Enjoy your time off the boat.

- I'm pretty sure
I see the first sparks

of two soulmates colliding.

It might be the exhaust
from the tender,

but it might be soulmates.

[giggling]

[continues laughing]

- My girlfriend and I
have had a lot of difficulties.

Me traveling and going away,

and I think that has been really
difficult on our relationship,

and so it's a fáááed up
relationship.

- I'm feeling wine.
Do you like wine, or do you

like hard alcohol better?
- Whiskey.

- Whiskey.
You can't pass out on me though.

I need you all night long.

- Definitely water. Thank you.
- How are you guys doing?

- Great, and you, man?
- Doing great, thank you.

- Can I get you something
to drink other than the water?

- Um, yeah, do you think
we can start with a bottle

of the Red Diamond?
- Sure.

- And then would you
like a whiskey?

- Yeah. Why not?

What would you like to eat?

- He's nervous.

I'd be nervous too
if I was Emile

and I asked Raquel
out on a date.

She's like a little
viscous dolphin tiger.

[bleating]

All over you in the--
[hisses]

- Aren't you scared?
- The whole thing's

gonna hit you.
- You should have

a seatbelt on me.
It's gonna be like, "Bam."

Thank you.

- Are you ready to order?

- We will have the tuna crostini
and the New York strip.

- Thank you.
- I'm just gonna eat the meat.

That's all.

- It's really tough dealing

with the stresses
of a relationship

while I'm out here working,
'cause you have no time

to go have a well
thought out conversation.

- I feel bad for Eddie
because he's been having

a hard time
with his girlfriend.

They really,
really care for each other,

and I know this has to be hard
for them.

- Can you unzip me?

Ha ha ha!

I'm out with a hot
younger man.

Let's have fun.

- Oh, yeah. Jagermeister.

- Do you have a lemon drop?

Oh, yeah.

He's doing well.
He's working the date.

He's like--he's charming.
He looks great.

I love it.

- I'll have a Jagermeister
please.

- Yeah. Let's step it up.

♪ Can he pull it off? ♪

Oh, was that you?
That was the point.

That was it.
- Wait, wait.

- And another one
and another and another.

What?

Has Emile ever been on a date
before?

That's three plus this...

- Yeah.

- I'm gonna feel good.

Do you want to go
swimming?

- Swim.

- Who was the last girl
you dated?

- I don't date. I mate.

- Oh.

- Wine and dine, 69.

- Almost.
Almost had that one.

I used to date this guy,
and he got whiskey d*ck.

He had whiskey lip.
You good?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What?

- Are you getting too wasted?

Okay, I've lost him.
I've lost him.

Right now the only bunk
I'm getting into is my own.

You're ready
to go to bed.

- No, I'm not.
Are we going back to the boat?

- Yes.

Let's go.
Stand up.

- I will let you take a seat,
and then I'll pick you up.

- Mm.
- Oh.

- Get me out of here.

Try again.

- Hey, Ed. How you feeling?

- So you want a drink?
- Nah, I'm okay.

I was--I was deep in it.
- Uh-oh.

- Better now?

- No, but that's all right.

- Long-distance relationships

while you're a yachtie
is extremely difficult.

In the case of Eddie
and his girlfriend,

it doesn't seem like absence
makes the heart grow fonder.

- Can you unzip me?

Unzip. Unzip.

Guess what?

Ha ha ha!

That date was so painful.

It was like nails
on a chalkboard, like,

I miss my tail.

Uh-oh, he's taking it off.
Don't. Don't you dare.

Don't you dare.

I'm gonna
have some alone time right here.

Emile: I'll give you
as much alone time.

- Perfect.

- Let me just give you
a kiss good-bye.

- No, no, no.
I don't want to be touched.

I'm good.
- You going inside?

- Mm-mm.

Figure it out already.

- Next time on Below Deck...

- I think I'm gonna
go to California.

- What's in California?
- Rocky's family.

- Welcome aboard Eros.

A little breezy,
but we'll get through it.

- When you know
there's gonna be bad weather,

you have to plan activities
for the guests.

Left hand on brown starfish.

- I'm not--I'm not
playing.

- I'm running out of ideas to
keep these guests entertained.

- Hey, we got a new deckhand
coming in about an hour.

Emile.
- Dane.

- Good to meet you.
- He's a very cute boy.

- Okay, so what's up?
You have a girlfriend or what?

- What the fááá is going on?

- Hey, look.
Oh, look how cute.

You all both got two
bracelets.

Aw.
- My bracelet?

Dude, they're from my sister, so
don't say any thing about that.

- I'm not talking sháá.
I'm just saying...