01x24 - The Idol Side of Me

[bunniefuu]

♪ Singing ♪

Well, there you have it, America.

Tonight we saw Ethan Williams
sing his heart out with Shakira

and win his own recording contract.
Give him a hand!

Whoo-hoo! Congratulations, Ethan.
We'll see you after the show.

Which means we have to say
good-bye to these 2 adorable kids

who really have a fine career ahead of them

as long as it doesn't involve singing.

And I mean it, guys.
Not even happy birthday.

Next week on "Singing With The Stars",



and a chance to sing with
this teen pop sensation!

Who is she?

♪ Hey, get up ♪

Me, Hannah Montana.

See you all next week,

and we'll really pump up the party.

♪ Hey, get up ♪

♪ get loud ♪

♪ we're pumpin' up the party now ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

I can't believe you're gonna be

the celebrity singer on "Singing With The Stars".

That makes Hannah Montana
just about the coolest person ever.

Must be you. Must be you.

Guys, bad news.

Amber and Ashley's annual cool list is out again.

Well, that explains it.

How far down did they put us this year?

Keep going.

Keep going. Keep...

Just skip to the last page.

Ohh! We're tied for dead
last with dandruff Danny.

Is someone actually talking to me?

Look away; Look away.

Ok. See you later. Where are you going?

Look, I finally cracked the top 100s, and...

And there's no way I'm talking
to people from the last page!

Stop begging!

I'll see you after dark.

That boy flipflops

more than a catfish in a moon bouncer.

Aww. Hey, look, everyone.

It's a couple of last-page losers

in their native habitat.

Uhh, so sad. Still eating,

as if they had a reason to live.

Ohh.

Ok, that's it! Listen.

This list is as bogus as the people who wrote it.

Come on, everyone!

Let's show Amber and
Ashley that they can't tell us

who's cool and who's not!

Let's rip up these lists right now!

Uh, Miley.

I'm the only one doing it, aren't I?

I'm with you, sister!

How is he not below us?

♫

♫ Come on!

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪
♪ both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best of both worlds ♪
♪ both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

♪ ooh, ooh ooh, yeah ♪

So maybe some people care about the list.

But there are plenty of other decent people

strong enough to think for themselves,

and those are the people I
want for my friends anyways.

Like Sarah.

Hey, Sarah.

Oh. Uh, hi, guys.

Listen, Miley; I'm really sorry,

but I can't be your lab partner.

Um, today after school, I have to...

read to the blind, uh, serve
punch at the blood drive,

and hose down cages at the animal shelter.

Wait a minute.

You read to the blind yesterday.

I, uh, took an extra shift.

Extra shift, my aunt Petunia.

You're just bailing on me because I'm last

on Amber and Ashley's list, aren't you?

No, I'm not.

Oh, no. Here comes Amber. Sorry.

I'm charitable, not stupid.

Ok, bye.

Great! Even Saint Sarah's freezing us out.

But, Amber, you have to come to my party.

It'll be a total disaster without you.

Ohh! That is so true.

But my mom let me audition
for "Singing With The Stars",

and if they have any taste,

I'll be singing with Hannah
Montana Saturday night.

Ok. Well, I gotta go to the bathroom.

I haven't looked at myself in, like, a half-hour.

Ok, so maybe we can't
get rid of that stupid list,

but I can make darn sure that Amber
never gets to sing with Hannah Montana.

♪ By day, I play ♪

♪ the part in every way ♪

♪ of simple, sweet, calm, and collected... ♪

-Or I can make darn sure she does.
-You could do that?

Sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire.

Amber likes to make fun of people,

and I'm gonna make sure
she knows what it feels like.

Oh, boy, once the world hears her sing,

she'll be at the bottom of her own stupid list.

Amber sounds like my pet pig luanne

after she birthed her first batch of piglets.

-I can't believe it.
-I know. She's horrible.

No. I can't believe you
had a pet pig named luanne.

We thought it was a Lou before the kids came.

[♪ Ooh, ooh ooh ♪]

[♪ oh, yeah ♪]

♪ we were a movie ♪

♪ I'd be the best frie... ♪
[Barking puppy]

♪ If we were a... ♪
[Barking puppy]

♪ If we... ♪
[Barking puppy]

♪ We... ♪
[Barking puppy]

Hey, dantzig!

Could you tell your dog to
keep his opinions to hisself?!

Oh, is Oscar bothering you, Stewart?

Yeah! Good boy, Oscar!

Please make it stop.
[Barking puppy]

Thank you.

And about what I said in traffic this morning,

she cut me off.

Hey, dad,

I finally got that dog to stop barkin'.

Just took the big t-bone from the fridge

and chucked it over the fence.

You mean the one that I dry rubbed,

tenderized, and marinated for 48 hours?

No.

The other one?

Jackson Rod Stewart.
[Door bell-♪]

I cook. I clean.

I work my fingers to the bone,
and what's my reward?

-Grrr!
-Nyaah!

Hello, Stewarts.

Oscar just wanted to thank you for the t-bone.

Oh, and next time,

he's like a twice-baked potato on the side.

Oh, that's right, baby.

No sour cream!

It gives him gas.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!

Sweet nibblets, this is
worse than the barking dog.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!

Ho ho ho!

Ha ha ha ho ho ho!

Ho ho ho!

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Oh ho ho ho ho ho!

Hey; What's all this?

Hey; So check it out.

I took some of Hannah's concert speakers,

and I stuck 'em over in dantzig's yard.

Next time that little dog barks,

he's gonna find out that
my woofer's bigger than his.

You actually think this might work?

There's only one way to find out.

Oh, look. There he is.

[Barking puppy]

Would you like to do the honors?

Don't mind if I do.

[Barking puppy]
[Billy:] Woof, woof

[Billy:] Woof, woof, woof..woof... woof
[Oscar freaks out]

-And that's how the big dog does it.
-Oh, yeah.

Oh, hey. Hey, what's that little rat doin' now?

Hey, get away from those speakers!

Put your leg down. Put your leg...

Put your leg down!
[electrical sparks]

Well, it may be dark, but at least it's quiet.

[Barking puppy again]
[Dogs Barking]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

'This is much better'.

Ow! Oh! Ow! Ow! Ahh!

Uh, cramp.

I, um, must have worked out too hard last night.

Y'all... y'all just go on without me.

I'm just gonna sit at this random table

with these random people till the pain subsides.

I miss you guys.

-Listen, Oliver_
-Don't look at me when you talk.

So have you heard from the producers yet?

Are they actually gonna let Amber be on the show?

Hey, how's it going? Just resting a cramp.

If you're not gonna look at
us, we're not gonna tell you.

Yeah, and it's really good.

-Oliver!
-Ok!

All right, not only is she gonna be on the show,

guess who gets to give her the good news.

Ok, this is so worth it.

I know. I'm just waiting for the
right mouthful of pasta salad.

Ooh. That's a good one.

And send.

Hide me.

♪

Hello.

Hey, Amber; It's Hannah Montana.

Gross!

The producers asked me to call you

to tell you that you are
one of the 3 lucky people

performing with me on "Singing With The Stars".

Anyhoo, they'll call you with the deets.

I can't wait to meet you.

Ohh! Thank you! Thank you so much!

Aw, don't be silly.

You deserve everything you're gonna get. Bye.

Hey, everybody; I'm gonna be singing

with Hannah Montana on "Singing With The Stars"!

That is so cool.

Ok, who wants to hear the
song I'm gonna sing on the show?

I think we all do!

I know I do.

Well, if you insist. I mean, pfft.

♪ By day ♪

♪ I play the part in every way ♪

♪ of simple, sweet, calm, and collected ♪

But she... her voice...

You said... I know.

But now...

Then who did you guys hear in the bathroom?

♪ The other side ♪

♪ the other side, the other side of me ♪

I thought we had an agreement.

No singing. Snaps and claps only.

Ok, let's just calm down.

Let's try to find the bright side in this.

I got nothin'. Me neither.

Sweet nibblets.

♪ the other side ♪

♪ the other side, I want you to see ♪

♪ oh, the other side, the other side ♪

♪ the other side of me, yeah! ♪

That's great, Hannah.

And after that, you're gonna hug, uh...

Amber Addison.

Brian will say something he thinks is funny.

Try to laugh.

It'll be over before you know it.

Don't worry. I'm used to it.

My dad gets all his jokes
from bubble gum wrappers.

Yeah, well, that'd be a step up for Brian.

Look; This must be where the losers stand.

There's puddle stains from
all the drippy nervous sweat.

Lola, would you please focus?

Amber's got a real sh*t at winning this,

and if she does, that list will be

the least of our problems.

-We've got to do something.
-Ya think?

Whoa, that is so cool. What is it?

The beginning of the end.

We enter through the smoke, Amber sings great,

then you and I are on the bottom of the cool list

till we're seniors. And I'm talkin'

blue-haired, bingo-playin',
mitten-knittin' seniors.

Maybe.

-And maybe not.
-What are you up to?

Remember my exploding volcano disaster

at last year's science fair?

Mount St. Lilly?

People were blowing lava
out of their nose for a week.

Well, if I could do that by accident,

imagine what I could do to Amber on purpose.

I'm imagining.

Ooh. And I'm liking.

What the...

Hey, dad.

Say hello to Rocky.

Hey, Rocky, you big, drippy horse, you.

What are you doin' in my Malibu doghouse?

You been a good doggie, didn't you?

I borrowed him from a friend,

and then I invited dantzig
and his little yapper over to play.

Wait till that little yapper
finds out that he's playin' lunch.

Yes, he is.

Son, I don't like that yappin' little purse puppy

any more than you do, but I don't
wanna see him swallowed whole.

Don't worry, dad. I got
his leash tied to my wrist.

Rocky's not goin' anywhere.
[Door bell-♪]

Well, as long as you're
sure it's just gonna scare him,

I guess it's worth a sh*t.

[Barking puppy]

Oscar, no.

Oh, is little Oscar scared?

Not exactly.

Very thoughtful, Stewart.

Oscie needed a little exercise.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Yeah. Well, so do you.

So do you.

So do you.

So do you.

So do you. Nnn!

Aah! So do you. Nnn!

So do you! Aah!

No, Rocky! Heel! Heel! Heel! Heel!

Rocky... whoo! Heel! Whoa, boy!

Go ahead.

Primp all you want, little miss cool list.

You're about to have a makeup malfunction

people will be downloading forever.

-She won't get hurt or anything, right?
-Just her pride.

Nationwide.

Nowhere to hide. Humilified.

Sad inside.

Are you done?

Just remember, you go through the red,

and she goes through the green.

Because she's mean.

Like an evil queen. Now I'm done.

How do I look? Like a star.

I can't believe you're about to
sing in front of 30 million people.

And that's just America.

There's Canada and Europe

and the Soviet reunion.

Ok, that is so stupid.

The Soviet reunion is in Europe.

You know I'm not good at geology.

I'm sorry, Ashley. I'm just nervous.

Well, don't be.

Forget about the fact that it's live.

Forget that if you screw up,

everyone in the whole
world will be laughing at you.

Just put that out of your head.

It wasn't in my head.

Until now!

Oops. My bad.

Have a good show!

Hey, Amber. You all ready for your big number?

Hannah, I can't do this.

I can't go out there!

Hey!

Hey...

Everything is gonna be fine,

as long as you go through the green arch.

I repeat, green arch.

Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

I'm gonna screw up!

I know I'm gonna screw up.

Listen, sometimes I have these worries, too.

But do you know what 2
words always get me through it?

"Green arch." See you out there.

Hey, come on. Get into position.

It's gonna be a blast.

You don't understand.

I can't be made fun of again.

Again?

When has anyone ever made fun of you?

Well, I know it's hard to believe,

looking at how beautiful I am now,

but when I was a kid,

I was the geeky girl with glasses,

the one that everyone teased all the time.

Really? How geeky? You wouldn't
happen to have any pictures, would you?

You know, 'cause then I
could... I... I could feel your pain.

No. I b*rned them all.

And I'm always afraid it's gonna happen again.

So you make fun of people now

because of what people did to
you when you were a geeky little kid?

Yes.

Yes, I do.

Well, you shouldn't do that.

Don't you get it?

When you fight fire with fire...

All you get is a bigger fire.

I know. And now I'm gonna flame out

in front of America, Asia,
and the Soviet reunion.

You mean Russia.

Oh, man. We're on there, too?

Ok, listen. If I can promise you

that you're gonna go out looking great,

can you promise me that
you're gonna be a better person?

And then buy a globe?

Yeah; But could you really make that happen?

I can guarantee you

that you're gonna come out
looking a whole lot better than me.

Places!

-Oh, no.
-Hey.

You're gonna do fine. Just...

Just enter through the red arch.

-But you said green.
-And now I'm saying red.

Just do it before I change my mind.

Hey, remember, better person.

And then a globe.

Sweet nibblets.

And now our final contestant,

from Malibu, California,

give it up for Amber Addison!

♪ By day, I play ♪

♪ the part in every way ♪

♪ of simple, sweet, calm, and collected ♪

♪ pretend to my friends ♪

♪ like a chameleon... ♪

♪ Girl feel disconnected ♪

♪ feel like a star ♪

♪ a superhero ♪

♪ sometimes it's hard to feel great ♪

♪ got too much on my plate ♪

♪ you've got to see ♪

♪ the other side of me ♪

♪ I'm just like every... ♪

I may have used a little too much green.

Yeah; Thanks.

I've been thinkin' about it, and you know what?

I don't care what anybody else says.

You're my real friends, and I'm sitting with you.

Hey, how's it going?

I just dropped a taquito.

Careful, green bean. You're showing.

That's because somebody didn't
make this gunk so easy to get off.

Don't blame me. Blame science.

What are you gonna do
now? Not only did Amber win,

she's gonna get a recording contract.

All because you had to be a good person.

Hate when you do that.

Guys, don't worry about it.

It's all gonna be worth it. Trust me.

♪ Da da da, duh duh duh duh ♪

Ashley.

Fine. Snaps and claps only.

Anyway; Heh, as you all know,

last night, I was the big winner,

but before that happened,
I made a promise to myself

and to my new best friend Hannah Montana, heh...

-Still worth it?
-Wait for it.

So I'm doing something
really drastic to the list.

Wait for it.

Dandruff Danny, you and your
flakes are ahead of those flakes.

I'm not at the bottom!

In your face. Whoo!

Yeah!

Still waiting.

Ok;

Not exactly what I was hoping for, but...

at least she was being nice to somebody.

That's it?

You're not even gonna try to get her back?

Come on. It's just a stupid list.

Besides, I learned my lesson.

When you fight fire with
fire, you just get b*rned.

I wish you would've told me that before.

Before what?

Well, I kind of arranged
a little surprise for Amber.

[expl*si*n]
Yow!

Who did this?!

Come on, y'all. It's not funny.

Although I must say I do love her in green.

♪ in the end, we'd be laughin' ♪

♪ watchin' the sunset fade to black ♪

♪ show the names, play that happy song ♪

Finally got that dang dog to hush up, didn't you?

Thank you, son.

Heh. You're welcome.

Next time, trim the fat.

We got our figures to worry about,

don't we, Oscie, baby?

Come on, Oscie wants another piece.

Cut faster.