02x05 - I Am Hannah, Hear Me Croak

[bunniefuu]

♪ Life's what you make it ♪

♪ so let's make it rock ♪

♪ let's celebrate it ♪

♪ join in, everyone ♪

♪ you decide ♪

♪ 'cause life's ♪

♪ what you make it ♪

♪ life is what you make it ♪

Thank you! I love you, too.

Good night, everybody!

Hannah, Hannah!

You guys want more?

Y'all are awesome!

I'll sing all night long
if you want me to.

Let's kick it, guys.

♪ You want some toast? ♪

♪ I'll bet you do ♪

♪ please add some
jam and butter, too ♪

♪ we're out of grape ♪

♪ so sad ♪

♪ it's all your fault,
you bad dad ♪

You know what, son? Yeah, dad?

♪ You got nerve ♪

There she is... 6 encores,

the voice that wouldn't stop.

Well, they were just
such a great aud...

They were such a great Audi...

Well, this isn't good.

Here, try some of this.

♪ Life's what you make it ♪

Help me!

Come on.

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

♪ ooh ♪

♪ do re mi fa so... ♪

Not working.

And it won't work
if you keep talking.

You know, honey... This
used to happen to me

all the time when
I was out on tour,

and the only thing
that would help

is when your mama made
me stop and not talk for a while.

I can do that.

Mile. What?

You're talking.

Dang... oh! Dang! Oh!

There you go. Now listen...

keep it like that or we're gonna
have to cancel the big concert

on TV Saturday.

That's a girl. Now, if
you need to say anything

for the next couple
of days, just use that.

Hannah Montana has never
canceled a concert before,

and she's not
about to start now.

I know that would
just break your heart,

and when your heart breaks,
baby sis, so does mine!

"You got a hot date for the
concert, don't you, jerkson?"

Dad! She wrote it.

I can't believe you'd think

that I'm that selfish
that I'd put my own...

What's her name, son?

Jenny, and she's a total babe!

So put a cork in it, froggy.

I got a lot riding on this.

Ah, ah, ah, ah! Use the pad.

Couldn't have
said it better myself.

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ ooh, oh, oh ♪

Miley, I know you
want to get better,

but sucking on those lollipops

isn't gonna do anything
but rot your teeth.

Mm-mmm!

Mm-hmm!

Mm-mmm!

Miley... release!

Fine. You leave me no choice.

Tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle... Ha!

Wow, a week without talking.

You know, that's got
to be tough for a girl.

Now, guys... we're
different. I don't need to talk.

I can not talk for a month.
Wouldn't bother me at all.

But girls... talk, talk,
talk, talk, talk, talk, talk,

talk, talk... "hey, Sally,

nice capris. Ooh,
I love your purse"

oh, now that's just rude.

Miley, I know this
is gonna be hard,

but you just have
to stop fighting it,

and don't worry... we're
gonna be right here for you

until you get your voice back.

Hey, Lilly! You
want to catch a few?

Oh, yeah!

Please, please, please!

Thank you!

You know, this is nice.

Just sitting here enjoying the
sun, the beach, the fresh air.

That's the thing about nature...

It's just so quiet and peaceful.

Not like the kinds of noise you
get when you're in the city, huh?

Pull the vehicle over!

Pull... I know.

Drives me crazy, too.

Hey, Oliver. What up, Dex?

Hey, Miley. Feeling better?

Great. So, um, maybe if
you're not busy Friday night,

we could go to the
movies or something?

I got this one for ya.

Oh... In your
dreams, a-Poindexter.

We're playing hard to get.

Ow!

Ok, what she meant
was, movies, schmovies...

Why don't you plant one
on her right now, big boy?

Ow!

Will you make up your mind?

You know, we're sending
Dex mixed signals.

And he's... maybe another time.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ yeah ♪

"4 score and 7 years
ago" is the beginning

of what famous speech?

May the finger on my hand
find the smartest in the land.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Keep sliding, oken,
I can still see you.

Miley, make me smiley.

Oh, I got this one for you.

Miley's answer is "the
bettysburg address."

I think she means,
"Betty burg's address."

Who's Betty burg?

What? The only other
thing on here is "I heart Dex,"

and I'm not gonna say that
with him sitting right there. Oops.

♪ Yeah, ooh, ah, ah ♪

Ok, ok. It'll be one week

in exactly 3, 2, 1... Speak!

Darlin', I know you're scared,

but we gotta find
out sooner or later.

Dad's right, miles.

Miles? Oh, great.

Now she can't hear, either.

You are falling apart just when
Jenny and I need you the most.

That is so like you.

Would you shut it already? I'm nervous
enough and I don't know if I can...

I can talk!

Whoo! Yes!

Yeah! Oh!

It's so good to hear
your voice again.

"I heart Dex"?

The last thing you
want to do is overwork it.

"Betty burg's address"?

Oh, oh, man,

did you make her look dumb.

"Plant one one her
right now, big boy"?

Oh, like you
weren't thinking it?

Ok, now we know Miley can talk.

Let's see if Hannah can sing.

♪ Don't let no
small frustration ♪

♪ ever bring you down ♪

♪ no, no, no ♪

♪ just take a situation ♪

♪ and turn it all around ♪

♪ with a new attitude ♪

♪ everything can change ♪

♪ make it how
you want it to be ♪

♪ staying mad, why do that? ♪

♪ Give yourself a break ♪

♪ laugh about it
and you'll see ♪

♪ life's what you make it ♪

♪ so let's make it rock ♪

♪ make it rock, yeah ♪

♪ life's what you make it ♪

♪ so come on ♪
♪ come on ♪

♪ come on, everybody now ♪

Oh, Jenny, isn't the
concert wonderful?

What's that?

Oh, you bad girl.

♪ Life's what you make it ♪

♪ so let's make it rock ♪

♪ life's what you make it ♪

♪ so come on ♪

♪ come on! ♪

I'm sorry, Miley,

but this problem's not
going to go away on its own.

If you ever want to sing again,

I'm afraid you're
going to need surgery.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ ooh, ooh ♪

Surgery? Really?

Trust me...

We're talking about a
very minor operation.

I could do it blindfolded.

Aah!

I won't. I'm just
saying that I could.

Not that you'd know.
You'd be out cold.

Doesn't that make
you feel better?

It doesn't, does it?

I should stop now.

You think?

I'm sorry. I'm just
trying to reassure you

that this surgery
is no big deal.

One hour in my office,
one week in recovery,

and you'll be as
good as new. Ok?

Ok.

Really... I mean, the chances
of anything going wrong

and you permanently
losing your singing voice

are one in a million.

Oh, boy.

One in a million?

Well, what if I'm that one?

Doc, you were this close.

When I say, "one in a million,"

it's just a figure of speech.

I-I haven't done
anywhere near that many.

Uh, not that I
haven't done a lot.

Because I have.

I... I'm going.

Daddy, there was a
one in a million chance

you'd be a rock star,
and that happened.

There was a one in a million
chance I'd be a pop star

and that happened.

Face it... this family's
one in a million central.

Hey, mile, I really think
you're overreacting.

I mean, this guy's one of the
best surgeons in the country.

Yeah, dad's right.

Besides, what do you
think's gonna happen?

Just as the surgery's
about ready to start,

a meteor hits a bus.

The bus drives
into a hot dog stand,

a giant neon wiener
flies into the power lines,

the lights go off in
the operating room,

and the next thing you know,

you're spending
the rest of your life

singing like aunt Pearl after
she swallowed that kazoo.

Remember?

Oh, no.

I'm never gonna be
Hannah Montana again,

all because of a giant wiener.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Here you go, Miley.

Why don't you
open this one next?

Yes! Just what I wanted!

Now I can be just like daddy.

Let's hear something.

♪ Rock, rock, rock ♪

♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ rock, rock, rock ♪

♪ oh... yeah ♪

I love you, Tennessee!

Good night! Drive careful!

Did you hear that, babe?

This little girl might just end up
giving you a run for your money.

Well, maybe one day I might just
have to take you up on stage with me.

Encore!

Encore! Encore!

♪ Jingle bells, Jackson smells ♪

♪ from 50 miles away, p.U. ♪

I'm gonna get you, runt.

Help!

Hey, no running in the house!

- He did it!
- She did it!

Don't you just love Christmas?

Hey, mile.

I made you a cup of my
famous loco hot cocoa,

with the little marshmallows
so you don't choke-o.

Choke-o.

Choke-o.

I'm gonna keep saying it
until you laugh. Choke-o.

Daddy...

What if something goes
wrong in the surgery and...

I can't be Hannah
Montana anymore?

Well, then I guess you'll just
have to pack your bags and get out.

Baby, that's not gonna happen.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Only thing you need to worry
about is what flavor ice cream

you're gonna be scarfing
down after it's over.

How do you know that?

Because there's some things
in life a daddy just knows.

Like, I know the sun's gonna
come up tomorrow morning.

I know uncle Earl's never
gonna be an underwear model.

And I know your
voice is gonna be fine.

You get some rest now, bud.

Good night, dad.

Night.

Love you.

Love you.

Miley!

Where is that
useless freeloader?

Right here, daddy.

I thought I told you
to iron these socks.

You know how I like a
nice crease in my hosiery.

S-sorry, daddy. I'm
still cleaning the oven.

Wait a minute.

What's that on the
corner of your mouth?

Have been eating the burnt
bits off the broiler pan again?

Sorry, daddy.

I'm just so hungry!

Mmm...

Month-old trout
skin, my favorite!

Well, quit stuffing your
face and get to ironing.

Just because that surgery caused
you to lose your singing voice

doesn't mean you can
lay around here licking up

trout drippings like
the queen of sheba!

But I can sing, daddy.

I've been practicing... listen.

♪ This is the life... ♪

Don't ever... Do that again.

Ok.

Now there's only one person
in this house that can sing,

and we all know who that is.

♪ Jingle bells, Miley smells ♪

♪ from 50 miles away ♪

♪ yeah ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome,

bucky Kentucky!

Thank you!

Thank you.

But Jackson could never sing.

And bucky Kentucky?

That's the dumbest
name I've ever heard.

You're just jealous 'cause you
don't have a state that rhymes

with your name anymore.

Little miss nobody.

Oh, please, like anyone would
ever be a fan of bucky Kentucky.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my...

Oh, my gosh! It's
him! Bucky Kentucky!

It's bucky Kentucky!

Dude, dude... Dude,
dude, you rock!

I love you!

Guys, what are you
doing? It's Jackson.

I'm sorry, did you
hear something?

Yeah, it just sounds like
a washed-up pop star!

Let's go, kids, or
we're gonna be late

for bucky's big concert.
The limo's waiting.

Ooh, ooh... Last
one in's a Miley!

Guys...

What about me? I should
be going to the concert, too.

I was Hannah Montana once.

Please don't treat me like this.

I have feelings.

I'm not a piece of furniture.

Guys!

I'm not a piece of furniture.

Ok, maybe I am.

Hang on, kids. I just gotta
grab my keys and my wallet.

Oh, there they are.

Daddy... What happened to me?

I'm nothing but a table.

Oh, honey, you're
much more than that.

You're also a coat rack.

Sweet niblets.

We'd love to take
you along with us, mile,

but you just got
too many hang-ups!

Good one, daddy.

See, I told you I was funny.

No! Don't leave!

Somebody help me!

Please...

Baby girl, you always did
have the strangest dreams.

Mama?

Oh... It is you.

Oh... sorry.

You're daddy gave you
some of his loco hot cocoa

before bed again, didn't he?

He knows what sugar does to you.

Oh, I swear, when
I'm finished here,

I'm popping into
one of his dreams.

He is gonna get an earful.

Not helping.

It's your dream, sweet pea.

If you don't like it, all you
have to do is change it.

It's not that easy.

Hey... Maybe it was.

Where were you when
I was eating trout skin?

All right, baby girl, we
both know you didn't

dream me here to ask me that.

Now why don't you tell me
what's really on your mind.

I lost my voice.

And if it doesn't
come back, then...

Then...

Miley, do you really think if
you're not Hannah Montana

you're no better than
a piece of furniture?

Oh, look at that thing.

I swear, there is nothing more
dangerous than your daddy

with a pocketful of cash at
one of uncle Earl's garage sales.

Mom, if I can't
sing, than I'm just...

I'm just Miley.

And what in the world
is wrong with that?

I think "just Miley"
is pretty darn terrific.

And I know that she is strong
enough to handle anything.

She is?

Heck, yeah!

That's the way your
daddy and I raised you.

You're a wonderful girl,

and that's why your
friends love you so much.

What friends?

You saw the way they treated me.

Oh, for heaven's sake...
Lilly, Oliver, get in here!

If she wasn't Hannah Montana,

would you still be her friend?

Are you kidding?

Of course we would.

Miley, you were my best friend

way before I knew you
were Hannah Montana.

Then why'd y'all
just walk out on me?

It's your dream!

And it was only scary
because you're so worried

about that surgery tomorrow.

It's true, miles. In real life, I
sing like a starving walrus.

Mom, this is where you say,

"oh, no, you don't, honey."

Oh, no, you don't, honey.

Just a regular walrus.

A cute, tone-deaf walrus.

Thanks.

I like your mom. She's funny.

She's pretty, too.

That's it, you're out of here.

Hey, why am I leaving?

I don't want to go!

Stop!

This is not fair!

Look, the point is,

whether you're Hannah
Montana or just Miley,

you're still gonna be the
annoying, obnoxious little sister...

That I love.

Ok, you can wake up anytime now.

I ain't done yet.

You see, no matter what
happens to your voice,

you have the most important
thing a person can have...

People who care about you.

You're right, mommy.

You think?

Oh, what the heck...
Oliver, get back in here.

Thank you.

You were loved before
you were Hannah Montana,

and you'll be loved long
after Hannah's on one of those

"where are they now?" Shows.

I think you're
confusing me with dad.

Oh, I am not worried
about you one bit.

I miss your hugs, mom.

Oh, baby girl.

They're never far away.

Hmm? All you have
to do is think about me.

Now, listen...

Say good-bye to your
friends and get some sleep.

You did good, honey.

Oh, you're doing a
pretty good job yourself.

Except for that hot
chocolate before bed!

Yeah, about that...

I know you always
told me not to do that,

but this was a very emotional...

Miley, you can wake up now!

Robbie ray, how many
times do I have to tell you?

Miley, wakey, wakey!

I cannot believe you
still have that table.

No wonder the girl's
having nightmares.

I'm sorry, darling.

You know I always
was a pushover.

That you were.

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ 'cause it's you ♪

♪ and me ♪

♪ together ♪

Don't be scared, baby girl.

The surgeon did a wonderful job.

Your voice sounds
better than ever. Come on.

♪ I'm always ♪

♪ on your side ♪

♪ no one, no one ♪

♪ no one can ever change it ♪

♪ come on, let 'em try ♪

♪ 'cause it's you ♪

♪ and me ♪

♪ together now ♪

Jackson, cut it out, boy.

Hey, it's your dream.

Not this time.

Well, if it's not your
dream and it's not mine,

then whose is it?

Heh, I think I know.

Aah!

Mama was right about
that hot chocolate.

Mmm...