hey Doc wait now thanks for nothing
would you like me to submit a written
memo no thank you
awesome I got a collywobbles pen impact
okay no I thought maybe those wills were
clashing with the chocolate eclairs they
are not and if they were over keep it to
myself
I don't think you'd have any option
Somalia no words could possibly convey
even I think of my innermost feelings
well on the contrary your words have
just conveyed your inner malaise
you're failing at that propane a bit
droopy okay you know what the sort of
person who got to Joan of Arc while the
flames are licking round her vitals and
say hello Joan only one degree under a
nice cup of tea you know what my mother
would say no I don't know what your
mother would say Saturday has got out of
bed the wrong side this morning
if that old bat said that to me to die
on get around the table to show that I
do if a little bit temperamental lion I
stopped to grab which I asked him for
our mental haha please flippant
platitudes are if anything exacerbating
a feeling of appalling depression well
if you're feeling depressed is now used
to sitting about protein I know I'll get
the washing uptown will it my dear dad
your uncanny grasp of domestic trivia is
a little therapeutic value and if you
tell me to pull myself together all snap
out of it I might well do something rash
well one Sanny thing like that get quit
on yourself
aha mr. acid drop himself come on now
you tell me what's the matter with you
get off your chest you feel better you
can confide in me I mean what am I here
for
yes in your juice why you put your
finger on the central dilemma or are you
here for what am I here for
what is the meaning of life no well no
life is a precious gift we're on this
earth but for a brief sojourn but all we
put into life the ball with my outfit
fine if on the way I can spread a little
sunshine playing boy laughing shall not
be impatient strong have you ever
thought about that do you realize that
each and every one of us needs must
dawn yeah Oh better sign me I'll pass
for the Wednesday afternoon Oh morbid
think of the good things in our life
what Wow
oh you got to do all you got don't paint
its look out the window I think it was
right this safe seat Dagenham dye works
and dye see have a little happy times
you try harder when I'm feeling a bit
below par this room is full of of joyous
memories really I look there's a
certificate proving that we went after
JP our town
we did we went have the GP our time why
did we go up it because it was their
face challenge a brief respite from a
life filled with endless cups of tea
games of m*rder and the occasional
physiology what sick be my job right a
dismal visit to the London planetarium -
it seemed the scart night and broad
daylight and emerging in a thin drizzle
and a cold wind blowing a newspaper and
read in the headline London Airport
disaster 30 old ladies Saturday in jumbo
jet engines of old ladies today the
mental image of millions of old ladies
bawling snap at each other up and down
the country does nothing except confirm
my opinions about the futility of life
down , what lovely physic we're to the
National Gallery then oh yes you spent
four hours with your nose glued up
against one of Rubens more for naturist
nudes don't think I've got a postcard of
it somewhere act to it yes he's up in
your bedroom amongst your art collection
of spit and spam beautiful Britons and
razzle actually on their hand
now come to think of it you used it at
the foot not for your copy of Lobby
Parisien or is it Lilliput number one
five nine and one or other of your nudie
books I bought that copy of la vie
Parisien for the very informative
article on marine life by Captain
Jacques Cousteau it's amazing then that
he always pulls out a page not so much
concerned with marine life as with a
scandal 'flag Adagio dancer from the
Moulin Rouge that must have been due to
the previous owner are not interested in
that type of thing
well now you put your finger on it it's
not healthy not to be interested in
the opposite sex well I buy for general
food into depression despair and fitness
with your trivial chat on our carrier
sausages and mash I'm not hungry now
farming the game sausages and mash you
know where you put sausage for every
word beginning with us I mash for every
word beginning with M is very good
yeah here we can see fever by John
Masefield
or rather sausage fever by John mash
mash mash and a sausage again through
the lonely sausage and sausage all I
need is a sausage sausage sausage
sausage
Manesh stupid we could try this one see
if you can put peace out this one
sausage sausage sausage juice bother
selfish selfish the sausage sausage
sausage is a sausage sausage sausage
that Lauren
she sells seashells on the seashore the
Chelsea still the zoo shellfish or and
on we could also waste our time would be
so wished playing fish and chips Oh dad
that guy let me give you a note soulful
fish off chip chips
[Applause]
my sausage what you match
I'll see what you made hey are you
within like a lover are rised up in a
timer with one mighty
he grabbed hold on
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
oh sorry
[Music]
[Applause]
in here Dollywood was everywhere person
on the door ever-present if you
get this completely right yeah
coming coming hi father
hello father don't you even bother to
say how's your father these days nobody
well you know have you got any respect
I'm sorry to hear that you're sorry to
hear it oh yeah I didn't notice you made
much attempt to avoid hearing it you
came in just as I was saying it didn't
you sorry to hear well what do you want
done with it you want to move money what
is it
no father it's just that I'm getting
married on Saturday I thought you ought
to be the first in there
[Music]
I think you should let her in on the
early planning stages there's nothing
worse than a wedding without a bride
nothing worse I went through two of
those we saw general Donovan leaving
flailing around and I just wanted to get
your permission permission your honor is
it yes you want my permission to do that
Oh tell me one thing
oh I'm sixteen father 16 years of age
resume is not a time to say is it yeah
Carla 16 years of age you want to get
married yeah sure tell you what my
reaction is resent piece of news try
telling what my reaction is if I tell
you what my reaction is my reaction is
somehow well given your reaction as that
father I take it you have no objection
widow hold your horses hold your horses
edit sit come on sit it is gonna sit sit
come on did yourself down
sit sit there we are spilling all over
the bed is 16 years rage right yeah 15
years of age sorry about this but your
mother asked me to keep it about myself
16 years of it but you want to get
married do you really think at the age
of 16 you're emotionally mature enough
to cope with a very demanding
interpersonal relation
you know this marriage I suppose you
think you have the emotional maturity
required father yes nothing to do it's
certainly a long time to learn until the
very long to think of goodies know it
it's throwing crockery at mother last
night part of that emotional maturity
father there's not throwing crockery to
your mother led a string of play to the
fly on the wall which your mother asked
me to remove these people father did you
hear your mother complain about Italy no
well she's been unconscious for the last
24 hours
poor old love I tried to break the good
news about the fly being dead to her but
she was out like a light
look man I don't know what you're
driving it I don't know what you're
driving it at all I'm just going to the
head of water the radiator these
pictures are sort of dry and have a
great deal yeah I don't want to be a fly
in the ointment the dog in the major or
taking the Pope but I think I ought to
know one thing led who is this young
lady with which you so enamored I think
you know her father
I mean ashamed father Sally and I have
been living upstairs together for the
last three years
you mean that young don't think upstairs
yes the one is always in the bathroom
we're trying to get a shave I don't use
their per day marathon you might have
had the decency to tell me
I thought dumping of that when the night
was woodworm in the rafters the best
control people run four times in the
last few days anyway on America yes
Father
could his own hello Cheers she's
seventeen seventeen oh let it read it
let it let it you don't see what you're
doing in your reckless haste of love
yes sixteen she's 17 don't you see what
you're doing
you're marrying an older woman
do you realize that when you're 54 years
of age which you won't be one day
probably not thinking about it when
you're 54 years of age she will be real
hold on it's just what they said 16
verse 28 you did the way the number you
professional over 270 for the squirrel
hypotenuse equals every 55 do you think
you know all the ropes think you know
the ropes do your head already
I don't if you believe in the
supernatural edit man I used to scoff at
it the supernatural I'd like to tell you
a story before you plunge into this
hilter's Gilda during the w*r I was
holed up in a bar in beer root they're
surrounded by the Bosch is about five
plus five surrounded by the Bosch now
remember one day the door flew open
who do you think came in squat on the
dress
do you know him no father I can't know
you didn't know you either it all ties
together Robert Ross came in give up in
music
get it I've got my damn right this time
it's fine bread Diddy city is covered in
put left from hinder football till
they've been sh*t to pieces on the boss
Karen said today you don't imagine a
wave a console a copy or something
if ever you have a son Cortina the new
iesson al-assad in those days didn't you
have a son he comes in one day in July
period about about five past about five
hours five dead I want to get married
I'm sixteen years of age I wanna marry a
young girl for Sally who's 17 years of
age now I've been living with over three
years upstairs
for God's sake today and a strange look
came into his eye I think he knew he was
going to die and he said Neponset didn't
say no
four days later is dead 11 up by an
unexploded lava storm in store isn't it
yes holla Shawn historic and you want to
get married it's still wet behind here's
that whit behind here
look now if you want to get married
flying your father's face drive your
mother insane and spit on the memory of
old squat on the dress you go ahead and
do it do it I think I will be just a
father you do it for you oh when you're
99 and your wife is a hundred hundred or
whatever she is now 193 don't come that
into me insane dead you were right
squatter Madras was right I should never
have got married bear that in mind let
you go hope you go good swatter you'll
meet your mate up in the sky
what of your love I'm sorry I do my best
I always time the best always do Billy
Ray Charles yeah
he studied evidence ruining the view of
the port yeah they are pretty mr. port
you'll see me through the troubles
weren't you the old nut mail dolly
[Applause]