Promise me you won't sleep
with an Italian, baby.
Darling, what are you saying?
- Nor with an American hippie.
- No, it's disgusting!
Nor with a pretty little French guy.
Nope!
And not even with a Mexican
selling bracelets...
-...in the Cote D'Azur.
- Oh, Tenoch.
- With nobody.
- Of course not.
- Promise me.
- I promise.
- What?
- Come on, you know!
I know what?
I promise...
...I won't even sleep...
...with a Chinese.
- I'm not joking!
- Don't you trust me, Tenoch?
- Yes.
- So what?
- Well, promise.
- And you?
I promise, too.
Let's hear it.
- But we do it together.
- Together.
One...
...two...
...three.
I promise I...
...won't sleep with...
- a Brazilian.
- A German.
- An Argentinean.
- A Polish.
- one from Sonora.
- Irish.
- Or from Guasave.
- Your father.
Are you crazy?
Ana's mother, a divorced French
woman, a teacher...
...at the Foreigners Institute...
...didn't object about Tenoch
sleeping with her daughter.
It was different for Julio.
He stayed with Cecilia until dinner,
and came back the next morning.
It wasn't noticeable, but Cecilia's
father, an allergy specialist...
...feared that her relationship with Julio
went too far beyond.
Her mother, a psychologist...
...saw it positively,
as an innocent thing.
- She can't find her passport!
- Then she's gonna miss the plane!
Julio!
Help me looking for the passport!
- Be quick, we're in a hurry!
- Yes, yes.
Did you take the car out?
- Shut the door!
- And the passport?
It's here, you stupid.
Come on!
Quick.
- What a nice greeting.
Oh, yeah!
Hey.
What are you gonna do tonight,
going to the party?
No, I'll feel lonely without you...
...I already know I'm gonna
miss you an awful lot.
- Come on!
- Cecilia!
- Your mother!
- Come, come!
I wanna take a bit of you inside me.
The plane's gonna leave you on land, honey!
Move! Move!
Found it?
- Here it is!
- Good.
How are you?
- Have you seen Esteban?
- No, I haven't.
Ana, do the check-in!
How's it going, charrolastra?
What a farewell party, huh?
Let'em go.
I'm gonna miss her, but here we are.
Bye bye.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, how's it going?
Why are you so pale?
Nevermind.
- Wonderful!
- Hi, dad! How are you!
Ana's father was a journalist,
recently converted to politics.
He was the director of the Institute
of Culture in Mexico City.
He had a liking for Tenoch...
...but with his Party mates...
...and never in front of Ana,
he called him "the young lad".
- Let's go.
- I wish I was already there.
- Don't go.
- I'll miss you, my love.
- I don't want to leave, honey.
- Ana!
Smell of bread.
Oh, f*ck! Damn hog!
Get the hell off my ass!
A gift for the promotion.
f*ck off!
Go to hell, hog!
Stop, cut it out.
Don't be a child.
Did your father get pissed?
No. He got angry.
If I don't take Economics,
I can forget the car.
Being left without "Murciègalo"...
- only for not willing to study?
- I hate economists!
They can all go f*ck themselves.
- What an idiot.
- No way.
I wanna be a writer.
Come with me at Literature.
No, I pass.
f*cking traffic! I bet
Boinas is there demonstrating.
It's her right, charrolastra.
And it's my right to tel"em
they're sons of a bitch.
True.
But there are always nice chicks at
those demonstrations, huh?
That's for sure.
Do you wear perfume?
Holy sh*t!
You're the hog!
Open it!
- Open it!
- There's the safe lock.
Open it, assh*le!
That day, three demonstations
took place.
But the jam had been caused by
a pedestrian having been struck.
Marcelino Escutia,
an immigrant carpenter from Michoacàn.
Marcelino was hit
by a truck at high speed.
He never used the pedestrian bridge...
...because it forced him to walk 2 more
km. to get to the building yard.
His unidentified body
was recovered...
and brought to the mortuary.
It was claimed 4 days later.
Tenoch was the second of three sons
of a Harvard economist...
...Subsecretary of State...
...and of a housewife attending
esoteric courses and activities.
They decided to name Tenoch
"Hernàn"...
...but then his father took
a job for the government...
and hit by nationalism...
...he named his son "Tenoch",
an Aztec name.
I'll roll this joint and we're off.
I've brought some stuff
from San Francisco. It's a charm!
- Uncut pills.
- Really?
Go with the trip!
If I see Miriam I'll bite her tits
and f*ck her hung by her ears!
- What a chick!
- Hell, yeah!
She rubbed herself on me
at Rata's party.
Really, what a slut!
I wanna make Sazòn's woman.
What an ass and what tits!
Yeah, Sazòn's woman
is outstanding.
Oh, not here, assshole. On the terrace!
- The smell is the same.
- It stinks, dude!
- Nicely damp, isn't it?
- Don't be an assh*le.
- Dry.
- Of course.
Monkey stuff.
A strong joint.
Tenoch!
My mother.
- Hello, madam. How are you?
- Hi, Julio.
- Hi, mom.
- Honey!
What's up, kids?
You look weird.
Are you a bit sad?
It's for the girls, right?
Come on, boys!
Love has upset you all!
Think of them, and you'll be with them.
- Are you coming at Jessica's wedding?
- How could I miss.
You'll have to dress elegantly.
There will be the president, too.
Tenoch, throw that cigarette.
Hello, madam.
Your garden rocks.
- Saba, I didn't know you were here, too.
- I'm everywhere.
At the party, Julio and Tenoch
used alcohol and marijuana...
...and the ecstasy from San Francisco.
Their conquering plans failed.
They were afraid that their failure
could mark their summer destiny.
At 4 AM
Julio threw up on the road.
At 5, Tenoch broke a car's lamp
going back home...
The same night...
...Saba had his first group sex
experience.
A week passed by
For Julio and Tenoch,
boredom became routine.
Tenoch's father was a shareholder
of a sporting club...
...so his son could get in
on monday, the closing day.
One, two, three.
You were breathless 'cause
you had just smoked.
The pro.
You only gave me two meters.
- Four, at best.
- Two and a half.
You always exaggerate.
Hey, I don't want to exaggerate, but...
...you got a really ugly cock
It looks like a hooded monk...
Then get on your knees. Confess yourself!
Don't be a q*eer!
Six, seven...
...eight, nine, ten, eleven.
- More bodyguards than guests.
- Count them.
Don't point.
My father's boss got two,
like that government guy.
- Plus all the Major State.
- Add Herminio, won't you?
- No, he's my driver.
- But he's armed.
Looks like our Tenoch
is pretty drunk.
Dad, I've greeted the president.
The Gonzales Bocanegras are looking for you.
Please, behave with them.
They've always been so nice with you.
All right, dad.
Do you remember the fatty girl?
How are you?
It's been a century!
You see?
What are you doing?
What a bunch of assholes, huh?
- As you say, sir.
- Hey, buddy.
Do me a Mil lslas.
Pretty loaded.
Do you remember your cousin, Tenoch?
He wants to be a writer, too.
You'll have a lot of things to tell.
- Cheers.
- Cheers, aunt. Thanks.
- What a lady, huh?
- Yes.
How are you, baby?
The last time, you were a child...
...crying for the Ninja Turtles.
- It was a ThunderCat.
- Sorry, a ThunderCat.
So you want to tell stories
about children?
No, stories about morons like you.
Writing in high school is one thing,
literature is another one.
- When are you starting?
- Did you read my book?
- I've read the critics.
- Critics are all assholes!
Alejandro Montes de Oca, "Jano",
was Tenoch's cousin.
His father d*ed when he was 3.
He was committed to his aunt.
He managed to escape abroad
with a master course.
He had just returned after 10 years.
Think well.
Do you really want to be a writer?
It's full of writers,
but the good ones are few.
It takes a life to become one.
My cousin, the writer.
It's not just discipline
and improving your technique.
No, you need a personal style, too.
You must have lived a lot.
Let's be honest,
What have you lived?
Yes, Tenoch, what experience do you have?
f*ck, guys!
Sorry, sorry.
Are you all right?
I wish...
...to thank you all...
...for your presence
at this humble celebration.
And especially...
...the president of the republic
and his charming lady...
...who have shared with us...
...this important moment
for Jessica and Francisco...
...in spite of their duties.
It's really...
a sensitive act.
In front of such illustrious guests...
...I want to wish the newly weds
the most absolute happiness.
Damn, what a beauty.
Hello.
- Pleased to meet you.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Aren't you bored of this all?
- No.
- Not even a little bit?
- Pardon.
- Well, a little bit.
- Yes?
- But where are you from?
- Madrid, Spain.
- And what are you doing here?
- My husband is one of the relatives.
- Of the groom?
- No, of the bride.
Did you see what they've done to me?
Yes, you, f*ck!
Luisa Cortés was left an orphan
when 10 because of a car accident.
She was grown by her grand-aunt...
...a franchist who fell sick
and was taken care of by Luisa
in her last 5 years of life.
Luisa always lived with her.
At 20 she married Jano.
Months later, the grand-aunt d*ed,
and Luisa lost her last relative.
- What happened?
- Those assholes.
How can I introduce you
to the president?
Let's do it another time.
- No, let's go.
- With a bit of salt...
- Salt.
- Let's look for another suit.
- Jano, don't do this to me.
- Attention.
- Take care of my mother.
- Hey.
Is he your husband?
- Yes, why?
- He's my cousin.
His cousin.
- What's your name?
- Me? Tenoch.
- Tenoch?
- Yes.
Tenoch, the little dwarf?
I saw you before getting married.
You were a little puppy.
You wanted a Thundercat.
Good memory.
- Do you smoke?
- Thanks.
- You're pretty grown up.
- Thanks.
When did you arrive?
Almost a month ago.
Jano will keep lessons at the university.
From September.
Are you going on holiday?
He's going to Villahermosa
with other scholars.
- I stay doing job colloquies.
- Sure.
If there's time, I'd like to go to the sea.
And you?
- We are going to the sea.
- In Puerto Escondido?
- Jano talked to me a lot about it.
- Puerto? No, it sucks.
Isn't it a beautiful place?
Only hip guys and 4th rate
surfers go there.
There are only fishermen
where we go.
And what's its name?
- Mouth... What's its name?
- Heaven's Mouth.
Heaven's Mouth, sure.
- It's wonderful!
- A paradise!
Practically heaven
made sea.
Tropical.
A bite of heaven, on earth.
A paradise on earth,
with roots...
- You could come with us
Yeah, come with us!
Me?
- Would you take me with you?
- Heck, sure.
- Of course.
- Is there room to sleep?
Yes, on a bed of sand,
warm and smooth...
-...under a starry sky.
- In luxury.
There's coconut there,
and then we carry some caguàmas.
- Caguàmas?
- Beer.
Jano will like it.
The mariachis.
The president left one hour later.
He had a meeting...
...with the Executive Committee
for the electoral candidates choice.
The next morning, at 10...
He shown disappointment
for the Cerro Verde m*ssacre...
...denying that the governor of
the state knew anything about it.
After expressing his condolences...
...he flew to Seattle for a world
summit on globalization.
The days passed by, and while Jano
was away because of his meeting...
...Luisa got some test results
from her doctor.
In the waiting room, she took a test
on a magazine, named:
"Are you a satisfied woman?"
In the first question, Luisa picked
answer B:
"I prefer to be awake rather
than sleeping and dreaming".
In the 4th, C:
"I value time
more than power or money".
In the 7th, A:
"I think about today
rather than yesterday or tomorrow".
She scored 16 points.
The magazine found her
afraid to claim her freedom.
Luisa didn't agree.
Think about Conchita's tits.
Those stiff and hard nipples.
Excellent.
And Mayela's p*ssy?
All wet and hairy.
- Your girlfriend's mother.
- Shut up.
The 2nd grade teacher?
- Yes, Mrs. Georgina.
- She turned me on.
- Salma Hayek!
- Yeah, Salmita!
- Hey, your cousin.
- What cousin?
The...
The Spanish one!
Yes?
Hello?
- Honey?
- Jano.
Are you fine?
It's just that...
I'm drunk, Luisa.
Then go to sleep.
We'll talk tomorrow.
I'll be back in two days.
- I love you an awful lot..
- Me too, Jano.
I'm an idiot.
I swear. I'm crap.
You're drunk. Sleep.
I'm an assh*le.
A piece of sh*t.
Calm down.
What's wrong?
- Are you fine, honey?
- It's just that...
It's just that...
...I've slept with a woman.
Can you see I'm crap?
Luisa?
Why are you telling me this?
I love you an awful lot!
Why are you telling me this?
Here's your sandwich, darling.
- With your favorite cheese.
- Thanks.
Hello?
One moment, please.
It's for you, Tenoch.
Who is it?
I'm Luisa.
The Spanish.
Oh, hello! How are you?
I'm glad I've found you.
You said you were leaving today.
- To go where?
- To Heaven's Mouth, right?
Yes, we're leaving today.
- Are you ready yet?
- Well, we're sorting things out.
- Listen, a question...
- What?
Is your invitation still valid?
Hello?
- Well...
- I guess it isn't.
- It's ok, nevermind.
- Wait. Yes, yes.
- Nevermind, I don't want to bother.
- No, it's fine.
Where shall we pick you?
I live in Calle Machu Picchu, at 52.
Third floor, intern C, like cheese.
Hello?
Are you sleeping, f*cking lazy-bones?
I've been awake 'till 3
watching tapes.
- Hurry up, we're going to the beach.
- What?
To Heaven's Mouth.
- But it doesn't exist.
- I know, but Luisa wants to go there.
- What Luisa?
- Luisa.
- Are you joking? Really?
- Really. Fetch Betsabé.
It won't make it.
The radiator and the battery are screwed.
And it's my sister's turn to use it.
Let's go with Murciègalo.
My father took it off me
because of the broken lamp.
What an assh*le.
Julio Zapata lived with
his mother and his sister.
He hadn't seen his father
since when he was 5.
His mother had always been
a secretary in a corporation.
His sister Manuela,
known as "Boinas"...
...studied Political Sciences
At the National University.
After a long negotiation,
Julio had the car for 5 days...
...in exchange for 3 weeks...
...during which Boinas would go
to Chiapas to distribute provisions.
- Beer!
- Beer, beer, beer.
Here's the beer.
One, two..
For three!
Condoms!
- Aren't there any of your size?
- It's the men's sector.
Beware, dude.
After Puebla, get off the highway.
- The landscape is a real riot.
- Yeah, that way.
Then, once you're here, go this way.
Damn.
Saba, you fool, that's a river!
You're going towards Veracruz!
No, towards Oaxaca.
Quiet, then you go this way...
Careful, right?
There are traffic control posts.
If you got weed stuff it
In your balls, understood?
- Saba, we're in a hurry.
- Yes, be quick.
Then you get to this small village...
...there's a hut with a giant
Coca-Cola bottle on the top.
- Saba, and then what?
- Yeah, then?
What?
- The beach, ugly fool!
- Yeah, the beach.
Turn left on a country lane,
and you're on the beach.
That's all.
Yes?
I'll come down immediately.
Give it to me, I'll help you.
Be quiet, it's my car.
- You haven't told us what you do for a living.
- What do you think?
- A sociologist.
- Cold.
Philosopher?
No, cold.
- Psychologist.
- Really?
- Lingerie model.
- Frost!
We surrender.
I have a degree in odontology.
- What's that?
- she dries your drooling, at the dentist.
-Really?
- Really?
- Why such a choice?
- I didn't make it.
I never played with dolls...
...or pretended to be a dentist.
- Why then?
- I was 16, my aunt fell sick...
...and I had to find a job.
- But did you want to do something else before?
- I didn't do well at school.
I had a fixed idea:
I wanted to travel.
- Travelling is super cool.
- Eh, yes.
- You've never been on a plane!
- What do you mean?
- Well, only three planes.
- So what?
And so I would be a philosopher?
- You look like someone who thinks.
- Of course, you're Jano's wife.
Luisa often attended to intellectuals'
dinners with Jano.
She never integrated herself with them.
There was always someone
willing to involve her...
...or expose her...
...giving her the word
in the middle of a discussion.
Humbly, she used to answer:
"I don't know anything about these things".
Sometimes, she would have wanted
to ask them...
...to list the names of all the teeth
one by one.
She never did it.
Charrolastra, pass me the chips.
What's charro...
- Charrolastra?
- Yes. What's it?
A mix of charol astrale
and charro lastre.
- Cool, isn't it?
- Very.
Daniel didn't know the words
of an english song and used to sing:
Charrolastra, charrolo
Charrolastra, charrolo
According to Saba...
...it refers to the dead weight
we are for your father.
So Daniel and Saba are
charrolastras, too?
Lately Saba
has been taken by the investigation of...
...the altered states
of his expanded conscience.
- In a mystical phase?
- No, dope.
- He's out of mind.
- We see Daniel less and less.
- Every day he's more q*eer.
- Is that why you don't see him?
He wants to frequent different companies.
But we're still brothers.
Pecas is just a honorary member...
...because she has terrible boyfriends.
- She didn't sign our manifesto.
- Manifesto?
Tell me something.
- No.
- It's secret.
- I won't tell anyone.
- We'd be forced to k*ll you.
there's no greater honor
than being a charrolastra.
to each his own.
pop k*lled the poetry.
a joint a day.
- Saba's idea.
don't f*ck with the others' girlfriends.
America's supporters are queers.
death to the morals.
forbidden to get married as a virgin.
Club America's supporters...
- You've already said that.
It's repeated because
they're queers twice.
Crappy team.
the truth is cool
but unreachable.
The truth is the best,
but it's very hard to reach.
whoever breaks one of the rules
previously stated...
...loses his title of
charrolastra.
Take your manifesto to the parliament
and it will be a success.
But it's cool, isn't it?
Don't the charrolastras eat?
Julio and Tenoch told her
many other tales.
Each story proved
the strong ties
...that joined them,
they were like one.
The stories, although enriched
with personal mythology, were true.
But like it always happens,
they were incomplete truths.
Julio didn't say that he used to light matches
to cover the smell in the toilet
...in Tenoch's house...
...nor Tenoch revealed that he used to lift
the toilet cover with his foot at Julio's.
There was no need to know
those details.
- Do you have girlfriends?
- Yes, Ceci.
- Ana Bananas.
- Bananas?
And where are them?
In Europe.
They're thick as thieves.
- Where in Europe?
- Around Italy.
They're lucky.
- They say it's wonderful.
- Yes, but that's not why.
- Why?
- Why did they go to Italy?
- For the clothes?
- On holiday?
For the guys!
Italian guys are hot!
- What are you saying? You don't know them.
- Right.
Ceci wouldn't be able to betray me.
She wanted to tattoo my name
on her tit.
- But her mother didn't want her to.
- I took Ana's cherry.
- She only does it with me.
- Exactly.
I'm pleased.
Your girlfriends are lucky for having
boyfriends like you.
And are you charrolastras faithful?
- Of course.
That's how it gotta be.
Have you ever betrayed Jano?
Me? Betraying Jano?
No, I'd never do that.
- I'm so hungry...
- Here comes the lady.
Has he ever betrayed you?
Jano always needed confirmations.
Do you think so?
- Has he betrayed you?
- Some beer.
- Me too.
- Where did you meet him?
- In a bar in Madrid.
- Really?
I bet he was drunk.
No, he was sober.
I was the totally drunk one.
- Really?
- Yep.
- And then?
- And then?
This guy, so arrogant and bold...
...comes to me and goes:
- "Hey, what a chick you are! "
- What did you see in him?
Really, what did you see?
Well, I don't know.
Jano and me share a lot of things.
Like?
Well...
He has no father and I'm an orphan
His mother was annoying...
...like the aunt I used to live with.
Those 5 years when I took care
of her were terrible.
Jano was the only one
to be on my side.
- Shall we toast?
- Sure!
To relax.
- So what will you have?
- I don't know.
Thanks. Good night.
Good night.
- Hey, pal!
- The small one for you.
- Easy, huh?
- f*ck, yes.
- Hey.
- What's up?
Will Ana and Ceci make
some Italians?
- No, what are you saying?
- Ah, it's full of pee here.
- No, huh?
- Absolutely not.
And then Italians are queers.
Sure.
D'ya think the little cousin's gonna screw us?
- Looks like Jano cheats on her.
- Heavy stuff, huh?
We gotta comfort her.
Make her smile a bit.
I'll show you.
Come.
Hi guys.
I'm coming.
- What's up?
- Are you awake?
Come on, the beach'll run away!
- f*ck, come on!
- Julio, the beach.
Now?
- The after-breakfast, cool.
- Go this way.
- Can you drive like that?
- Yes.
You don't feel bends.
We fly like the Concorde.
Monkey sh*t.
Pure sh*t.
- Good stuff.
- Sure.
Good.
- D'you smoke a lot?
- So and so. You?
- No.
- Want a beer?
Tenoch didn't know Tepelmeme...
...birthplace of Leodegaria
Victoria, Leo, his nanny.
At 13 she had moved to
Mexico City.
Leo found a job at lturbide's house,
and took care of Tenoch since his birth.
Until he was 4 years old,
he called her "mom".
Tenoch didn't comment.
There's something for everyone.
I saw you tonight.
- What?
- What?
- You know what I'm talking about.
- No, about what?
D'you think you're supposed to spy
on a woman in a hotel?
It was his idea.
Ah, yes?
And you followed him.
- Did you want to see me naked?
- No.
- And get a good hand-job.
- Come on.
Tell me one thing:
Did you make love with
many other women?
- Some.
- Stop it, you boaster.
- What.
- He's only f*cked with his girlfriend.
- See that you're wrong.
- With whom then?
- With Flavia.
- f*ck off! Never.
The idiot came while
he was still putting the condom on.
- You told me.
- What?
A little offer for the queen?
And you, Tenoch?
- What?
- Have you made love with others...
...apart from your girlfriend?
- Some.
- Yes, 2 or three hookers.
- Hookers?
- Whores.
- Really? Do you go with whores?
The little queen is gorgeous.
- I don't go with whores.
- You do.
- You're a whore-chaser.
- No.
- Goodbye!
- Goodbye!
- Wonderful!
- Turn it up!
Did you f*ck many guys
before Jano?
I started late
and met Jano soon.
- Were you a virgin?
- A virgin? No.
There was a guy before.
Did he bang you hard? Tell us the truth,
and go, go, go!
To be honest, yes.
He took me to the factory where
his uncle worked.
I was dying with fear,
I barely knew him.
I thought he wanted to kiss me.
No, instead...
...he took my cherry.
- The bastard.
- He hurt me a real lot.
I said "I won't do it again".
But we always ended up doing it
in a row.
I thought he only wanted to screw.
But he also wanted to talk.
- He fell in love with me.
- Sure...
He used to pick me up on his bike...
...in a leather jacket.
He was fascinating. I was charmed.
I always played hooky any time I could.
Playing hooker, like doing blow jobs and stuff?
Yes, that, too.
No,playing hooky means
cutting school classes.
I used to cut classes
to spend more time with him...
...in the park, or to take
a good ride on his bike.
We were even about to go to
the Cote D'Azur.
Me too.
A friend of his had found me a job
as a waitress.
We had everything packed and ready.
He had a pigtail
and a broken tooth.
And an earring on the right.
I was in love with him, I swear.
Deeply in love.
- Then Jano came, right?
- No.
- So what?
- Dead in a bike accident.
Heck.
He was 17.
Had they passed by there
...they would have ran across a couple
of cages in the middle of the road.
Then across a cloud of white feathers.
Shortly after, more crushed cages,
with dying chickens.
Later on, an overturned truck,
surrounded with smoke.
They'd have seen two inert bodies
on the ground...
...the smaller one covered with
a jacket...
...and a hopeless woman
crying on his side.
Another cigarette.
- Nice song, dude.
- The battery is down.
Turn on the radio.
sh*t.
- Hide all the stuff.
- Don't worry.
- Calm.
- Don't stare at them.
Damn, those are f*cked.
Don't look, pal.
What the hel"s going on, dude?
Hey, not a bad crotch.
That woke up both of you.
Must have been the heat?
- Got a hard-on, sucked?
- You don't know how much.
- He's got a super small one.
- Small, dork?
Teodoro is 5 millimeters shorter
than your Rasputin.
Bullshit.
- Did you measure them?
- Yes.
- But his one is horrible?
- How horrible?
- Hooded.
- Come on.
- Ah! So beautiful!
- What?
- Seen?
- It sucks, it's disgusting.
How do you make love with them?
- Sweetly, with feeling.
- Yeah, with jiribilla.
With what?
With affection.
- What do you exactly do to them?
- First, some groping warms the oven.
Some kisses on her titties and
some nibbles on her nipples.
And then?
- Then I stick it all in.
- With jiribilla.
And then?
I push 'till she's dying.
- Nothing else?
- What do you mean?
Ceci waves, shakes, moans,
like an oyster with lemon.
- Ana cries.
- Oh, poor darling.
- No, she cries with pleasure.
- I figure it.
- Do you do it missionary style?
- Missionary, doggy-style, everything.
Ana likes to be on top.
And sitting, too.
And a good 69, as well.
All the Kamasutra.
All of it?
- I do everything.
And what about that thing when
you put a finger in...
-...in the ass?
- In the ass? Oh, f*ck!
Go get some water!
Some water!
- I told ya.
- Towards San Rafael.
- And how much does it take?
- It'll be ready tomorrow.
No, but thanks anyway.
- Nice sombrero.
- Yes, really nice.
You can keep it.
- Really?
- Yes.
- Is it a gift?
- Yes.
Thanks.
It looks good on me.
Here's the coconut.
- Thanks.
- Sorry.
That's my name.
Beautiful name, Luisita.
Hi, Jano.
I know you're not back yet.
I'm calling cause I didn't leave any
messages, not to make you worry.
I wanted to disappear from your life...
...but I've understood
it's not right.
This is my message, but
actually, I don't know what to say.
I've met
Lady Martina.
She's 98 and she remembers everything
since when she was 5.
Imagine all she has lived...
and what we don't live.
The mousse your mother sent us
is in the fridge.
Pay the phone bill.
It's on the desk.
Pick up your shirts from the laundry.
Careful, don't wrinkle them.
Well, take care.
See you.
Pass me the shampoo.
Shampoo!
Please.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, you can come in.
- Are you all right?
- Yes.
Must have been the heat,
the trip, everything.
We wanted to ask you if you have
some shampoo.
Did you bring it?
Take the towel off.
What?
I say take the towel off.
- The towel?
- Yes, the towel.
Take it off, Tenoch.
Don't cover yourself.
Don't cover yourself.
- You're easily turned on, eh?
- Yeah, huh?
It's on the left, you've lied to me.
- What?
- You said it hung on the right.
- Oh, yeah.
- I imagined it that way, you know.
Jerk off.
Jerk off?
- A hand job. Touch yourself.
- No.
Do you want me to help you?
Do you want me to show you my tits?
I'll show them if you touch yourself.
Come here, Tenoch.
Closer.
I'm wet. Wanna feel it?
- Yes.
- Touch me.
Touch me.
Lick me, Tenoch, lick me.
- But take my panties off.
- Sure, sure.
No, come here.
Oh, honey.
Honey.
- I'm sorry.
- It's fine, it doesn't matter.
Relax.
Julio didn't know what he felt.
He only knew it wasn't anger.
He was 8 years old the
last time he had felt that way.
One night he had gone out drinking
...and had found his mother in
his godfather's arms.
Julio had retired in silence...
...and never told anyone about it.
How ware you, pal?
I'm here.
What about a little challenge?
- No, it's all full of leaves.
- No problem.
Okay.
You've let me b*at you.
You had no reason.
I made Ana.
What?
You've heard me.
I made your girlfriend.
The last time Tenoch had felt like that
he was 11.
He head noticed his father's picture
on a newspaper accusing him...
...of a fraud in the import of
spoiled corn for the poor.
Tenoch and his parents moved
to Vancouver for eight moths.
Tenoch never asked the reason.
Luisa didn't know about
Julio's confession.
During dinner, though, she felt
the tension between the two friends.
She sensed the broken equilibrium...
...that she had to reestablish.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Good night, Tenoch.
What's up?
- Don't you sleep with Luisa?
- f*ck off.
How many times did you make her?
Only one, and I was drunk.
- When?
- Stop it.
- No, tell me. When?
- I don't know.
How's it you don't know?
While you were at Lake Tahoe.
- And where was Cecilia?
- She was sick.
Was it at her place?
- No.
- Where then?
- At a party.
- What party, assh*le?
I don't know, dude.
It was Fruity Loopy's party,
I guess.
The party when Saba took her cherry?
- I guess so?
- What are you laughing, assh*le?
- Saba.
- Don't laugh!
- Who started it?
- Both. We were so f*cking drunk.
And where did you do it?
In the sister's room.
How was Ana dressed?
- sh*t! I can't remember.
- Was she wearing pants or a skirt?
What panties was she wearing?
- What panties? You've heard me!
- White, I guess.
- Did she take it in her mouth?
- No!
Look at me, idiot.
Did she suck it?
- Did you lick her?
- No, of course not.
- Did she come?
- How do I know? It was very quick.
- Did she enjoy it?
- How could I know?
- And you, assh*le, did you enjoy it?
- No, no.
I felt like sh*t, I swear.
I wanted to tell you...
f*ck off, assh*le!
To hell!
You've broken our friendship.
The trust!
You made my girlfriend.
You've screwed me!
And me, idiot, bringing you those
f*cking comics from Lake Tahoe.
And a sh*t of a dress
for that whore of Ana, f*ck!
f*ck off, dude.
f*ck off.
Tenoch, forgive me, pal.
I didn't do it on purpose.
Not on purpose?
You can maybe stomp her foot
not on purpose, not screw her!
Right? Not make her!
- Not make her!
- No.
He went on all night long.
Tenoch engaged himself in an
endless quest for details.
He wanted to make a puzzle with pieces
that wouldn't always match.
In the meanwhile, Julio melted some
details to build a less painful truth.
Lady Martina gave Luisa the stuffed mouse
with her name on it as a present.
It belonged to her grand-nephew
Luisa Obregòn...
...d*ed of a sunstroke crossing
the desert of Arizona...
...looking for a better future.
Luisa believed that the dead
kept being present.
She wondered how long she would live on
in other people's memories.
But she didn't want to fill her mind
with thoughts of death.
She heat has hit you, too?
A crazy heat.
Hey, where are you going?
- Stay here.
- I wanna see Rasputin.
Listen, I don't like the idea.
Had Julio come into my room,
it would have been the same.
Bullshit.
If you think I'm the driver,
f*ck yourselves.
Go f*ck off!
Calm down!
f*cking hogs!
Me, me, me, me.
- The shoes.
- The what?
Shoes.
Okay, pul"em off.
Now...
...this way, this way, this way.
Come here!
Give it to me.
Come, feel me.
Be calm. Quiet.
Look at me.
Look at me.
- Wait for me.
- Careful.
I'm sorry.
Nevermind. Be quiet.
Luisa, I'm sorry.
It's just that...
Don't act this way, come on!
Wasn't this what you wanted?
It was your game, right?
Taking me on a trip
to f*ck me, wasn't it?
So what?
God, what idiots.
I shouldn't have done it
with none of you.
That's what I should have done.
I didn't want to hurt anyone.
Do you believe me?
- Do you forgive me?
- Yes, yes.
Let's go.
Me too.
- You too, what?
- Julio.
Me too, assh*le.
- You too what?
- I made your girlfriend, Ceci.
It's not true.
- When?
- After the Plastilina Mosh gig.
Son of a bitch.
That's why you brought me home
first, right, assh*le?
- Where?
- My place.
- Your place?
- In my room, dude.
- She had flowered panties.
- Did you screw her?
- The assh*le made mine.
- What happened to Three?
Don't f*ck the others' girlfriends.
That's Five!
Get out!
Get out, assh*le!
Now I'll tear you to pieces!
- Open!
- Hey, guys, stop it!
f*ck...
A classic for a boor.
Now the boor's gonna
smash your face!
Blow me, dork!
- f*ck off!
- Snob q*eer!
- To hell.
- Julio listen...
Son of a bitch!
I thought you were different,
but you're animals!
The futile Manifesto!
Not following your own rules!
You mark your territory and quarrel
but you just want to screw each other!
That's what you like!
Who cares if you screw each other's
women, if you come immediately?
Who made me do this?
I'm here changing diapers.
Seen, assh*le?
- Come on, get out, open!
- No.
- She's leaving.
- You've pushed her.
How could you make my Ceci?
That whore!
- So we're even, right?
- Even?
Not f*cking even! Get on your knees, like you
made me do.
- Come on!
- I'm sorry.
- On your knees, son of a bitch!
- She's looking for a lift.
I know, assh*le! On your knees!
Move away.
- Move away if you want me to get out.
- Here you go.
Come on, I won't do anything.
Out.
Sorry.
On both your knees.
I beg your pardon, Julio, for screwing
your girlfriend, okay?
Come on, idot, she's leaving.
- How many times did you make her?
- Just once, what do you think?
You're not a charrolastra anymore!
- You don't mean anything to me anymore.
- You neither.
You're a piece of sh*t!
- Come on, Luisa, get in.
- No.
I'll take a bus to Puerto Escondido!
To hell with you and Heaven's Mouth.
We want to go there with you.
Why? To quarrel.
No, thanks.
- We won't quarrel.
- We promise.
I can picture myself, with two dorks.
- We've been assholes.
- We'll do as you say.
You command.
It's a few steps from here!
- it's close, come on.
But we do as I say.
At the first quarrel, I'll go away.
As you say.
Now I'll set my rules.
I'll make my Manifesto.
You've gone beyond, Julio.
I won't f*ck with any of you.
f*ck each other, if you wish.
I sunbathe naked and
I don't want you around and horny.
I choose the music.
You're required to kindly
shut up when I say so.
You cook.
Not another word on your
poor girlfriends.
Keep a distance of 6 meters.
If I prefer so, 100.
You'll take care of all the labor.
You'll speak only if you already agree.
But if you just shut up, it's better.
It's forbidden to contradict me.
And especially pushing me.
Julio and Tenoch didn't know
where they were...
...or how to get to their destination.
Saba's indications
were contradictory.
Afraid that Luisa might found out,
Julio took a country lane.
They thought Luisa was sleeping.
They didn't know that her fear prevented
her from doing so.
It had nothing to do with darkness
or with what was surrounding her.
Hey!
We got ceviche...
...fried fish and beer!
Jesus Carranza, known as "Chuy",
and his wife Mabel...
...the fourth generation
of a fishermen family.
They lived there, close to San Bernabe.
Chuy offered himself to escort them
to the beaches the next day.
He asked them 350 pesos,
including lunch.
- Let me drive it!
- No.
- I know how to.
- Fine then.
- Don't push it too much.
- I know, I know.
- Nice place to have a bath, that one.
- Name?
- The Heaven's Mouth.
- Very beautiful.
Fine.
Lucero!
Don't harass the lady!
Don't worry, Mabel!
He's teaching me how to swim.
- I'll help you.
- No, I can make it on my own, thanks.
Go to your friend, he's all lonely.
The water is warm. Go.
Let's see how you play dead.
Oh, she's dead.
Oh, Lucero.
Christian is a whiner.
He spends all night crying.
He only stops in my arms.
He likes to be with his little sister.
So pretty, isn't she?
She looks a lot like you, Mabel.
Same eyes.
You should have sons, lady.
It shows you know how to handle them.
You're the in the right age, right?
He fell asleep.
What do I do?
Marquez passes to Ramon.
Ramon places on Zepeda.
He stands out like a colossus
of Santa Ursula.
Claudio the emperor steals the ball.
You can trust him!
A trustworthy emperor!
His majesty goes on,
looks for a personal score.
Just sh**t, heck!
Here we are.
A pass to Cuauhtemoc
Which stops it.
He advances towards the goal...
...and sh**t!
The "human wall"!
Campos!
That's why he's a regular of the national team!
That's why!
What?
Don't you like Campos?
Wouldn't you want to live forever?
- Yes.
- It'd be beautiful.
No?
By the end of the year, the family
will move away...
...because a new luxury hotel
will rise in San Bernabe.
They'll move to the suburbs
of Santa Maria Colotepec.
Chuy will create a transports
company...
...but will be hindered by
the Acapulco syndicates...
...and by the Consortium of Tourism.
Two years later, he'll be a cleaner
in a hotel.
He won't fish anymore.
- Heck?
- What?
What the hell?
- Speed up Chuy!
- sh*t.
Get away from here, you bastards!
Not that way, no!
They're sh1tting inside here, dude!
Get out, bastards!
- You're throwing sh*t on me!
- Out!
Let's go!
Quick, litlle sh*t!
The pigs tore the camp
to pieces.
It was evening already, and Julio and Tenoch
decided to sleep in the city.
For 75 pesos, Chuy had found them
a room with light and a toilet.
Luisa was tempted by the idea
of a shower, although a cold one.
They would go tomorrow
to pick up their stuff.
The 23 pigs had run away
from a farm near there.
During the following 2 months,
infection...
...after having being eaten
at the "El Chavarin" ranch.
Don't spin, assh*le!
Tell your mother what you want.
Let me talk.
Let me talk or I'll hang up.
I would have left anyway, Jano...
...your call makes everything easier.
I' grateful for that.
This is not a revenge.
I've always known about your betrayals
Carmen in Escorial...
...and the one in Barcelona.
I've always known.
I just hoped you would change,
that's all.
My decision has nothing
to do with that.
I can't explain now,
but soon you'll understand, okay?
Don't blame yourself
and don't blame me...
...it's nobody's fault.
No, I don't hate you.
And please, don't hate me.
Listen, Jano, listen.
I'm calling to say that I love you,
and that you've been my life.
I don't expect a happy farewell,
but let it be affectionate, at least.
Calm down, please don't
act this way, please.
Did you notice I took less money than
what was due?
No, I don't need more.
I'm fine.
I let my keys in the kitchen.
Don't lose the terrace key,
there's just one copy.
I took the T-shirts from Ibiza.
You know I like to sleep in them.
I just hope you learn to be happy.
I am now.
Take care, Jano.
I'll hang up now, okay? Bye.
f*ck you! Rematch!
I'm grateful to all the women
Jano has betrayed me with.
How did I notice?
f*cking with him. He experimented with me
the things he learned from the others.
- You finally understand.
- Like the finger in the ass, right?
- Yes.
- Come on, really?
But you must know how to do it.
With delicacy.
You can't just stick it in.
Jano was a master of finesse.
- To the master of finesse!
- To Jano!
Jano, wherever you are.
I'm glad I've met you.
Sometimes you're fuckheads,
but in the end...
...you're really smart.
You have the luck of living
in a country like Mexico.
You can breath life everywhere here.
To the sweet Mexico!
- To Mexico!
Magic and musical.
- So, are you friends or not?
- No.
Come on, make peace.
- And so I'm a boor?
- Right that.
- Do you remember that big thing?
- f*ck, that's my car.
And me, Mr. Delicacy?
- Okay, okay. A hip guy.
- But you like coming to my place?
To see what your father steals.
But his father is a honest man, right?
Isn't he honest?
What assholes!
Now you're friends again.
- To the charrolastras!
- To the charolastras!
- Want beer?
- Yeah, pretty cold.
Sure, sure.
- Luisa.
- What?
- I'm sorry for the push.
- Oh, Julio...
-...you went beyond.
- I know.
- Give me a kiss.
- Forgive me.
You're forgiven.
Hey, Luisa...
...tell us the truth:
Who fucks better, between us?
The truth.
- You make me laugh.
- Come on.
Each one has certain qualities.
But who made you feel better?
I'll mimic Tenoch coming:
"Honey. Honey!"
- I don't believe it, pal.
- Julio crosses his eyes.
But you must stop jacking off
and improve your resistance.
- He came sooner than me!
- Both do some training.
- And number Seven?
- Eliminate it.
Chuy, isn't jacking off cool?
- To jacking off!
- Yeah!
You can't toast to jacking off!
By the way:
You don't know how to lick it.
- I didn't do it at all.
- You're surely as lame as Tenoch.
You licked it like that,
like it were an icicle.
It must be done with care. The clitoris
must be a great friend of yours.
It's a problem to find
a great friend.
Search and you shall find.
There's no greater pleasure than giving it.
- An applause for the clitoris!
- Yes!
- Up the clitoris.
- Up the clitoris.
Listen, seriously...
Truth, I want the truth:
Ceci sucked you off.
The truth?
- She nibbled it a bit, dude.
- sh*t, she sucked you off!
- Ana bites, too?
- No, she sucks greatly!
- You said she didn't suck you off.
- Only the tip.
She missed the big dish.
- Aren't blow jobs great, Chuy?
- Heck, Chuy!
- Up the blow jobs!
- Wait.
Since we're telling the truth:
I made Ceci many times.
No problem. I screwed Ana
many times, too.
- I've been there mixing up the cream.
- Me too!
Do you realize we're
foster-brothers?
He made my girl,
but he comes in a blink!
To your girlfriends,
who are making 10 Italians at a time!
- To Luigi!
- To Francesco!
I toast to Tiberio!
- Got any change?
- Who wants the little maggot here?
I'll take it.
Hey, Tenoch.
- And your mother, too, you know?
- What?
Really.
The day she washed my clothes.
Are you serious?
Absolutely!
- Cheers!
- You're crazy.
Luisa! To all mothers!
Who sings the "Fandunga"?
- "La Fandunga"?
- Are you joking?
Actually no.
Give me a number and a letter.
Thirteen.
- Ah... B.
- 13-B.
After Heaven's mouth there's Palikata
and the beaches of Chacrita...
...and Santa Rita.
- And Chacagua.
- "Chacagua. " What wonderful names.
- What do they mean?
- I don't know.
- Good morning, sleepyhead.
- Sleepyhead.
Want some eggs?
- A shrimp soup?
- Please. And a beer.
The best antidote.
- I gotta give the car back to my sister.
- Fine.
- Was it Chacue...
- Chacagua.
- Is there anything after Chacagua?
- There's Amaranto.
Golden Beach is there.
Huge, with many waves.
Many people drown there.
But it's wonderful.
- Some more soup.
- No, thanks.
I must go.
My parents must be worried.
And Julio must give the car back
to his sister.
I was talking with Mabel
about staying here some more...
...to see some bays.
- I'm hungry, mom.
- Well, here you go.
Go, go!
That day Julio and Tenoch
started their trip back home.
It was a silent trip
with no events.
Their parents never knew
they had gone to the sea with Luisa.
Luisa stayed exploring
the bays around.
Parting from Tenoch and Julio,
Luisa told them:
"Life is like the foam of the sea.
You must dive into it".
On their return, Ana and Cecilia
broke up with Tenoch and Julio.
Two months later, Tenoch began
going out with a neighbor.
It took 11 months for Julio to go out
with a French course mate.
Julio and Tenoch hung together less
and less.
The next summer, the PRI...
...lost the elections for the
first time in 71 years.
Julio met Tenoch
who was going to the dentist.
A coffee was less uncomfortable
than the excuses not to do it.
- And Saba, have you ever met him again?
- I know he lives in Real de Catorce.
Really? Fine.
And Daniel?
Self-declared q*eer.
His father kicked him out of home.
- A big trouble, isn't it?
- On the contrary, he's happy.
He's even got a boyfriend and stuff.
It's fine then.
- I've been admitted to the University.
- Great! When will you start?
- In September.
- Economics?
Yep.
- And you?
- Biology at the UAM. Next week.
- What a bad luck, huh?
- Yes. The UAM begins sooner.
Do you know about Luisa?
No.
What?
- She's dead.
- What the f*ck are you saying?
- Anything else, guys?
- No, thanks.
- And how?
- Cancer.
She had it everywhere.
It happened there in San Bernabe.
A month after our departure.
Chuy called Jano, and that was all.
Terrible.
When we met her,
she already knew she had to die.
She didn't want to tell anyone.
Luisa spent her last 4 days
in the Hospital of Santa Maria Colotepec.
By her request...
... Chuy and Mabel never revealed
her adventure with Tenoch and Julio.
Before dying, gave Lucero the stuffed
mouse with her name as a present.
Tenoch apologized. His girlfriend
was waiting for him at the cinema.
Julio insisted to pay the bill.
They never met again.
- Hear you, huh?
- Yep.
The bill, please.
Y Tu Mamá También (And Your Mother Too) (2001)
Moderator: Maskath3