07x03 - ShakesQueer

[bunniefuu]

Previously on RuPaul's Drag Race...

You'll be performing the pre-flight video
for Glamazonian Airways.

♪ Queens of the sky ♪

-[RuPaul] Sasha Belle.
-I lost you in the safety video.

The dress was just kind of schlumpy.

Katya, your outfit is a Xanadu,
but your lip-sync was a Xana-don't.

Ginger Minj, condragulations. You're
the winner of this week's challenge.

-Katya, shantay, you stay.
-Thank you so much.

Sasha Belle, sashay away.

[sigh of relief]

-f*ck that noise.
-Holy moly.

We get back to the workroom
and Sasha left us a little message.

Love you, mean it! Ging for the win.

Ging, you got a fangirl.

Opinions are like assholes.

Everybody has one.

But it doesn't count. She's gone. Next.

-Goodbye, Sasha. We love you.
-We love you, Sasha.

This week, I survived by the skin
of my f*cking fingernails.

It was the most stressful thing
I've ever done.

I'm gonna f*cking m*rder
that next challenge, whatever it is.

Get me out of this sh*t.

I'm so happy to be out of these heels.
[grunts]

We got good feedback and recognition
for our group, girl.

It was very well-deserved.

I already knew when they picked the group
that it would be weaker.

When they picked that group,
I knew it was buffoonery,

because they all look alike. They're all
the same height and weigh two pounds.

Fame, Trixie, Pearl. Then there's that old
tight-ass, long horse-face Violet.

Them four just rub my nerves out.

All they want to do is talk and walk
their asses in heels, that's not drag.

Y'all sashay away. [laughs]

Get your asses up out of here.

I don't like sh*t about them hoes.

Not the air they breathe, not their
bony-ass, slim, up-and-down pole bodies.

I would love to send all them
home in one walk.

Especially Violet.
Where are your panties, girl?

We don't want to see
that Barbie doll, mannequin p*ssy.

Cover that ass up.

Panties, bitch.

The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race
receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

and a cash prize of $100,000!

With our extra-special guest judges,
Kat Dennings and Mel B.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race
May the best woman, best woman win ♪

[pop music playing]

-Good morn-ting.
-Good morning, Hollywood.

It's a new day and I'm happy
that I am still here, honey.

Still here and still kicking. Yes, ma'am.

-Jaidynn, how are your feet?
-Girl, I took a shower last night

and my toes started stinging
from open wounds.

You got to pop them corns
so the kids can eat. [laughter]

To feed the children.

[alarm blaring]

[all oohing]

[RuPaul] She done all ready
done have hers.

To she or not to she?
That 'tis the question.

Whether it is nobler
to be America's Next Drag Superstar

or just some thirsty-ass ho. [laughter]

Now, all the world's a stage,
but watch your back, "hinney,"

because everybody's a critic.

[car whizzing]

-Uh-huh-oh.
-What is that about?

[bell dings]

[beeping]

[all laughing, oohing]

Hello, hello, hello. Hi, everybody.

She got your hoveround. Yes!

America's Next Drag Superstar
needs to have longevity,

even after her charisma,
uniqueness, nerve, and talent

gets old, dry, and dusty. [coughs]

Ladies, it's time to release
your inner golden girl.

-Oh, pit crew!
-Yay!

[laughter]

-Hey, panties.
-Now, today's mini challenge

is an old, old-fashioned
soul train dance line.

We're calling it Sissy That Walker.

-Are you living?
-Yeah!

-Well, more like assisted living.
-Yes!

You've got 15 minutes
to get into some old lady drags.

And in the end,
the two grooviest grannies will win.

Ready?

Set?

[beeping]

Go!

-[electronic music playing]
-Are you taking the blue?

All right, ladies.

Let's bust a move. Just don't break a hip.

Ginger Minj. Grandma said,
"Knock you out!"

[laughter]

Mrs. Kasha Davis.

Yeah! This looks like the cast of Cocoon.

[laughter]

Pearl.

Oh, my God. Is that Elaine Stritch?

♪ Turn it up ♪

Jaidynn Diore Fierce.

I thought she had retired from twerking.

[laughter]

Trixie Mattel.

[laughter]

Girl, your p*ssy
is on once-a-month Boniva.

[laughter]

Max.

She's a friend of Dorothy... Zbornak.

[laughter]

LaGuardia Newark Kennedy.

Ooh, yeah! Drop it like it's icy hot!

[laughter]

Miss Fame.

She's fallen and she can't get up!

But she sure can get down.

[laughter]

Violet Chachki.

No teeth, all shade.

[laughter]

Jasmine Masters.

[record scratches]

Where did you get a loaf of bread?

[laughter]

Katya.

I love the smell of Bengay in the morning.

[laughter]

Kandy Ho.

Ooh, granny's dusty!

[laughter]

Hey, granny! Get it, granny!

[laughter]

Wow, you guys did great!

But two of you did extra-special,

as in, you know, early bird special.

The two winners
of today's mini challenge are...

Max and Kennedy Davenport.

Plinko!

We'll be posting these gifs at logotv.com

so grandma and them can see them too.
Now ladies...

The word "drag"
was first used by Shakespeare

as an acronym for "dressed as a girl."

Back when, you know,
all the female roles were played by men.

For this week's Maxi Challenge,
you'll be acting in a comedic adaptation

of two Shakespeare classics.
Romy & Juliet.

And my favorite, MacBitch.

[laughter]

Hashtag Shakesqueer.

Now, Max and Kennedy,
you get to pick your castmates

and assign the roles. Max, you pick first.

Ginger Minj.
Come here, you little comedian.

Jasmine.

Trixie Mattel. [clicks tongue]

Katya.

Mrs. Kasha Davis. Get over here, girl.

Pearl.

Jaidynn. Get over here as fast as you can.

Kandy.

That leaves Miss Fame and Violet.

Max, who do you want on your team?

-Fame.
-My mothballs are on fire.

Which means Violet Chachki
is on Team Kennedy Davenport.

I have no idea
why I'm getting picked last again.

Now, in a moment, Michelle Visage and I
will meet you on set

to direct your sh**t.
Tomorrow on the runway,

the category is Bearded and Beautiful.

Gentlemen, start thine engines,
and may the best woman winneth.

Let's see what this MacBitch is about.

So we get MacBitch,
a crazy cheerleader parody of Macbeth.

I've never even seen...
What is the original name? Mc...

-[producer] Macbeth.
-Macbeth?

I don't even know what Macbeth is,
honestly. Call me young. Call me,

like, illiterate. Whatever.
I've never seen Macbeth.

Okay. I think I'm ready to assign.

Lady MacBitch, the pretty one,
the ambitious, ruthless wannabe mean girl.

That sounds like Violet.

[laughter]

Laquisha Kanina MacBitch. [laughs]

-The tough ghetto woman.
-I don't want to be the ghetto girl.

Because that's, like, so common. I could
really turn myself into Lady MacBitch.

-Lady MacBitch?
-Yes.

I kind of don't want
to put people in their, like...

-Comfort zone?
-Yeah.

So, Violet, I would like
for you to be ghetto.

We have an hour to get this down,
so we need to figure it out.

Yeah, it's figured out.
You Laquisha Kanina MacBitch. Okay?

Her and Jasmine are friends, that's why
Jasmine has the role of MacBitch,

even though it is perfect for me.

You are the team leader.
Whatever you want, Boo-boo.

There's no pleasing Violet
if it doesn't go her way.

She always has a stank face.

She's just a bitch.

So this is some Shakespeare sh*t.

This week's main challenge is to act

in a new adaptation
of a Shakespearian classic.

I'm so excited.
I've done Shakespeare plenty...

and he liked it every time.

[Max] We got Romy and Juliet
and I'm excited.

I do have, like,
some legitimate Shakespearian experience.

-So let's go through the characters.
-Do you have a 30-day trial?

Attention, please. Everyone, when I have
my hands up like this, attention.

All right, kittens. Lady Cappuccino,
Juliet's drag mother, a little older.

-I think I know who that one sounds like.
-[laughs]

Juliet's BFF, a vapid, ditsy party girl.

Let's see how many lines she has,
then we'll talk.

Mercutia, she's more ratchet,
kind of a hoochie.

-See, I think you should be Mercutia.
-Come on, house...

-Capulet. Is that correct?
-House Capulet, yeah.

-Capu... Capulet.
-Capulet. Exactly.

I don't know what that means.

-You're, like, totes montage-eau.
-Montague.

Monta-goo.

Some of these girls look like
their Shakespeare is gonna be shaky, dear.

Montag-ew!

Ew!

This is so not your gig.

When you go:
"This is so not your gig," you be like...

-So not your gig.
-This is so... not your gig.

Sound like more Regina George.

Jasmine has the role of MacBitch
and it's, like, a really sassy, bitchy...

This is so not your gig.

She's not really serving that.

Basic b*tches not wanted.

I get the ghetto girl
and I'm serving it well.

Head cheerleader is gonna be me,
Laquisha Keanni. That's right.

The struggle is real. Um...

I want to make a judgment call here
because I just don't feel comfortable.

I need Jasmine and Violet
to switch characters.

Jasmine, just be the ghetto girl
and make it work.

Bitch, I already gone done
filled my ghetto fantasy.

Let's switch scripts.

So because of Jasmine's f*cking up
we should change quick?

We should definitely
run through it right now.

No, no. Just read on your own.

So now, well into our challenge,
Jasmine and Violet

have to learn new parts.
Now it's just a race against time.

[Renaissance music playing]

Team Max. Welcome.

It is time to showcase
our "Shakesqueerian" play,

and my team better know their lines.

But in case they don't,
I know them for them.

-All right, you lipstick thesbians.
-Get it, guys. You got it.

-And action.
-[beep]

First day of school.
House of Caparus is gonna rule.

-Capulet.
-f*ck! Sorry.

-All right. Action!
-[beep]

Soft, but what light do break?

I'm Juliet,
but you can call me Cupcake. Hey!

Ho! You two have to chill.
You're from enemy crews!

-"Romy? You'll get yourself banished."
-Oh.

Romy, you'll get yourself banished...

if you hang with that flooz.
I'm sorry, I need to relax.

Mercutia, what's going on?

I'm not really experienced in acting.
I'm giving it the best...

Girl, you are a drag queen.
You are experienced at acting.

Okay.

What's going on, Jaidynn?
What's happening?

I just... [sobs] I get in the moment
and I just kind of freak out.

I want this so bad and...
I'm sorry. [sniffles]

I just... [sobs]

Jaidynn begins to tear up and it all
sort of comes down on her at once.

-I got this.
-Yes, girl.

-You got this.
-Shake it off!

-Shake it off!
-Yeah.

So we're gonna do it one more time.

Romy, girl! You was my sister!

Why?

Ladies, uh, we're done.

-That's a wrap.
-Thank you.

It's unfortunate because, had Jaidynn been
a little bit more confident and prepared,

we could've really nailed it.

And now, I'm thinking,
she may have just lost it for us.

[RuPaul] The cast of MacBitch.
Places, people. Places, people.

Let's make magic.

Yes.

-Action!
-[beep]

Friends, drag queens, hunty men.

Cheerleader tryouts are happening today.

Uh, cut. Pearl, is that your normal voice?

-No, I deepened it a bit...
-You deepened it.

-...for the character.
-You shouldn't do that.

You are the narrator of this thing.

-Everyone will look at you.
-Okay.

With that lame-ass whistle.

Hey, Hogwarts rejects,
what's your prediction?

-"The spirit."
-The spirits

[both speaking] have spoken.
We saw it in a dream.

-[both] Lady MacBitch is the...
-[Kandy Ho] New cheer supreme.

[beep]

Watch out, sisters.
I'm the real prima donna.

-Oh.
-"Head cheerleader."

Head... Head cheerleader... Oh, f*ck!

Head cheerleader is gonna be me. Ki...

Head cheerleader is gonna be me,
Laquisha Keanni.

-Cut. It's about that rhyme.
-It's really a rhythm.

It's: "Watch out, sisters.
I'm the real prima donna.

Head cheerleader is gonna be me,
Laquisha Keanna."

Watch out, sisters. I'm prim... Oh!

Keep going.

Watch out, sisters. I'm the queen...
I'm the real prima donna.

Head coach is gonna... Head cheerleader
is gonna be me, Laquisha Quian... f*ck!

So we're gonna move on.

Oh, my God. I'm like...
like when is this gonna be over?

-Okay, here we go.
-[beep]

Tastes like burning...

[Renaissance music playing]

Basic witches not wanted.

-What is happening?
-I'm lost.

[Katya] It was a domino effect. One
screwed up, then another screwed up

and then this person doesn't know
what to do.

It's a mess.

Kennedy, did you rehearse your team?

I got to tell you, in seven seasons
of doing RuPaul's Drag Race,

I have never seen
a car crash like this before.

I don't know what to tell you, ladies.
This is not good.

Everybody on my team
is in deep sh*t right now.

[g*nsh*t]

You ready for another day in paradise?

It's elimination day and I'm feeling
horrible. Yesterday, my team sucked.

Worst day of my life.
Like, someone bring me a puppy.

I want to die.

-How we doing, Miss Jasmine?
-You know, I don't like to be, like,

-I don't know my sh*t.
-Right.

So it was just like, f*ck!

I think you just need
to turn that gown out and give it to them.

I was part of a team that was the worst
in the whole entire history

of Drag Race. But I know for a fact

this dress is the best gown that ever
walked down the runway of a drag race.

I wouldn't be surprised if Ru got up
and said: "Bitch,

just because of that gown, girl,
you're safe as f*ck."

[laughs] Who the hell are you?

I say: "I'm Trixie Mattel."
And they say: "Who?"

-They're like: "Who?"
-Right, yeah.

Yes!

These young girls
ain't been through nothing. And, girl,

it's getting on my nerves.

You have to discover
what your aesthetic is.

Girl. Please, honey. Find one.

[laughter]

-They don't even know who they are yet.
-They don't.

-What's that color one?
-What? Oh, Violet.

-Yeah, that one.
-Lavender.

Tacky drag.

Mrs. Kasha Davis, Jasmine,
Kennedy and myself,

we just call ourselves
the bitter old lady brigade.

But we don't mean any harm, girl.
Except when we do.

It worries me,
the younger ones don't get it.

And then they get hit hard
with what comes afterwards.

People tell me:
"Why do you take drag so seriously?

You're not curing cancer."
No, but I'm making it easier to live with.

-Right.
-This one woman came up

and we said: "What are you celebrating?"
She said: "My bucket list."

She'd been diagnosed with terminal cancer
and wanted to go and see a drag show.

They gave her two weeks to live.
She came for a year.

And we were like: "You know, one day,
she's not gonna come." And she didn't.

We found out she'd been taken
to hospice, so we put together

the entire show, drove over to hospice,
and gave that girl one last show.

It's stuff like that makes it worthwhile.
Somebody needs that.

-Right.
-When you're on stage,

you're ministering somebody
in some type of way.

I just had a meltdown.
I broke down right there on stage,

crying, acting a fool.
And, honey, if I have to lip-synch,

I'm gonna give that my all,
because I didn't come here to go home.

I worked so hard to get here.
This is my dreams and my goals.

Everything is at stake right now.

They'll need security,
escort me out, honey.

It will be a real drag show
because they'll drag me off the stage.

I ain't going home.

No ma'am, no ham, no cauliflower,
no corn bread, no green beans.

I'm not going home.

[beats]

[RuPaul laughing]

♪ Cover girl
Put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe
Let your whole body talk ♪

♪ And what? ♪

[Mel B squeals]

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

My wife, Michelle Visage. Thanks
for being my beard for all these years.

-Please don't ever shave me.
-[RuPaul giggling]

Sir Carson Kressley,
are you ready to tame some shrews?

-Bring me the shrews!
-[RuPaul laughing]

My favorite broke girl,
and I know a lot of them.

-Kat Dennings is here.
-This is the best day of my life, Ru.

And the spiciest girl of all,
from America's Got Talent, Mel B.

Welcome to my show,
America's Got Drag Queens.

I'm so bloody excited,
I cannot even tell you.

This week, we challenged our queens
to hamlet it up

in two twisted Shakespeare classics.

And tonight, they're ready to gag us

with the hair on their chinny chin chins.

Gentlemen, start your engines,

and may the best bearded woman win.

♪ Now, sissy that walk ♪

[dance music playing]

[RuPaul] Max.

[Mel B] I love the beard.

[Max] I'm trying to channel some
Tim Burton, 1920s editorial Salvador Dalí.

-[Michelle] Touch-gay!
-[Carson] Surely, you joust.

[RuPaul laughs]

[RuPaul] Ginger Minj.

[Michelle] Is it a merkin in your pocket
or are you happy to see me?

[Ginger Minj] I am trying so hard
to remain elegant with this beard,

but I'm selling it.
Who knew I was a model?

[RuPaul] Serving Diesel Van d*ke,

Trixie Mattel.

Bearded for the cause.

[Michelle] Heavenly.

I just stepped out of an oil painting
and I'm taking him to church.

[Michelle] And now, with wings.

[RuPaul laughs]

[RuPaul] Is she a ZZ top or a ZZ bottom?

Mr. and Mrs. Kasha Davis.

[laughter]

[Kasha] This isn't the bearded lady
from the circus.

She's a socialite with a lot of diamonds.

[Carson] Cruella de Pilatory.

-[RuPaul] Jaidynn Diore Fierce.
-[Carson] Miss Jackson, if you're hairy.

[Jaidynn] I am serving
bearded gladiator gothic

fierceness on the runway, honey.
Come on, bearded queen.

-[RuPaul] All shade, all Mr. T.
-[Michelle] I pity the queen.

-[RuPaul] Miss Fame.
-[Mel B] I want that waist and the outfit.

[Miss Fame] This is my take
on the classic harlequin look.

I'm feeling stunning.

[Kat] Uh... Oh!

What's so funny?

[RuPaul] She's, like, a cross between
Ginger Grant and Ulysses S. Grant.

[laughter]

[RuPaul] LaGuardia Newark Kennedy.

The artist formerly known
as Kennedy Davenport.

[RuPaul] Yeah. [laughs]

[Kennedy] My hair is deep-waved
with my beard, honey.

I'm feeling fierce.

-[Carson] Use the beaver as a swiffer.
-[RuPaul] If you got one, flaunt it.

-Right, Michelle?
-How do you think I got here?

[laughter]

[RuPaul] Katya. Yowza! Babe-raham Lincoln.

[Katya] I'm giving you
emancipation proclamation realness.

I'm coming for the south. I'm coming
for the north. I'm coming for everybody.

[Michelle] Don't go to the theater!

[laughter]

-[RuPaul] Jasmine Masters.
-[all oohing]

[Mel B] I need that dress.

[Jasmine] Look at this gown, gag over it,
because there's nothing else you can do.

-[RuPaul] It's very "lumber-jackee."
-[Michelle] It's me, Jasmine.

[RuPaul imitating Jackée]
Ooh, the shade of it all.

[RuPaul] Pearl. The devil made her do it.

[Pearl] I am giving you
papier mâché bearded lady, she-devil.

[Mel B] I love
that I-don't-give-a-f*ck walk.

[RuPaul] Not today, Satan.

-[RuPaul] Kandy Ho.
-[all oohing]

-[Kat] Dr. Zhivag-ho.
-[RuPaul] Yes.

-[laughter]
-[RuPaul] Who doesn't love a hairy box?

-[Michelle] My husband.
-[Kandy Ho] My look is kind of dark.

I want them to see a darker side of me.

Fu man-chu better work.

[Kat laughs]

-[RuPaul] Violet.
-[Michelle gasps]

[RuPaul] Peggy Sue got hairy.

[Michelle laughs]

[Violet] I'm giving you 1956 Dior,
haute couture poses

on point. Everything is to a T.

[Michelle] She's bringing her beard
to the prom. Where's the pig blood?

♪ Now, sissy that walk ♪

Welcome back, ladies.

It's time to debut
the greatest love story of all time,

Romy and Juliet.

Starring Team Max.

[Renaissance music playing]

In a world of charisma

uniqueness, talent, and nerve,
two rival drag houses

are gonna get on they swerve.

First day of school.
House of Capulet's gonna rule.

-Drag mother, who's there? Do you know?
-Juliet,

pay her no mind.
It's that skank Romy-ho.

-Soft, but what light do break?
-I'm Juliet,

but what's in a name?
You can call me Cupcake.

-Okay?
-[both gasping]

Oh, chill out, you two.
You're from enemy crews.

You'll get yourself banished
if you hang with this flooz.

What did you say? RuPaul-ogize, trolls.

Calm down, Beyoncé,
or I'll clock those back

-rolls.
-[all gasp]

The queen-on-queen rumble
turned into a thriller.

Meanwhile, later that night
at Juliet's villa...

-Wherefore art thou, Romy, yo!
-Be still, sweet Juliet.

But how is she, though?

-Romy, let's live forever.
-Do you fancy a shag?

Yes, god. On your eleganza

I gag! [gasps]

-[sniffs and gags]
-Oh, girl, you really gagging.

Oh, wait. Status update: dead.
There we go. [moans]

[gasps]

Oh, man. We never even got to kaikai.

And with this death drop, I do die.

[moans]

Romy, girl!

Why?

Teenage su1c1de...

Don't do it.

[sniffles] I just...
I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

[laughter]

Well done, ladies. Next up, MacBitch.

Starring Team Kennedy Davenport.

[Renaissance music playing]

Here in Tuckahoe,
it's the season of the witch... [sniffs]

but none are as shady as Lady MacBitch.
[laughter]

Friends, drag queens, hunty men.

[blows the whistle]

I got something to say.
Cheerleading tryouts are happening today.

Watch out, sisters.
I'm the real prima donna

Head cheerleader is gonna be me,
Laquisha Keanna. That's right!

Girl, not on tonight.
This is so not your gig.

I'm lady MacBitch
and you're a pig in a wig.

Hey, Hogwarts rejects,
what's your prediction?

If I'm not head cheerleader,
it's purely fan fiction.

The spirits have spoken.
We saw in a dream.

Lady MacBitch is the cheer team supreme.

Wicked, please.

Attention, cheer trolls.
Let the tryouts begin.

Start your engines.
May the best Tuckahoe win!

-Basic witches not wanted.
-Oh, sisters, I'm stressed.

If I don't win, I may die.

Try this. It'll help.
It's Oprah's new chai.

[whispering] With a sh*t of drain cleaner.

Well, all right, Mary MacBitch.
Give it a go. You're up first.

Okay. Give me a T. Give me a U.
Give me a...

[gags]

Byeeeee!

[blows the whistle]

U-G-L-Y. You ain't got no alibi. You ugly.

Tragic.

[dramatic music playing]

Well, there you have it, ladies,
master-queef theater.

It was hard to watch.
I'm trying to black it out.

The reviews are in, and one production
are all safe from elimination.

Team Max, condragulations.

-Good work, guys.
-Jaidynn Diore Fierce,

-kudos for working through your fears.
-Thank you, Ru.

And for your dual role as team leader

and the tallest Juliet in herstory,

Max, you are the winner
of the challenge.

[applause]

You've won two couture latex outfits

from Syren Latex,
a leader in latex fashions.

This is the perfect ending
to a good week. It feels grand.

Now, get thee to a nunnery.

[electronic music playing]

Team Kennedy Davenport,

you are all up for elimination.

-First up, Kennedy.
-I have to say, the runway outfit

is probably my least favorite
of all of the contestants.

-Oh!
-Your performance...

the fact that you were the team leader
and your team was a disaster.

-What the hell happened?
-It was a shock to me as well.

During your rehearsal,
couldn't you sense

-that it wasn't even going right?
-Nobody knew their lines.

Well, that was pretty evident.

-Moving on. Katya.
-You knew your lines.

You delivered it okay
and for this group, it's a lot.

Your choice on the runway
shows intelligent humor.

The hair, the beard,
the whole entire look...

-Flawless for me.
-Thank you.

All right, Jasmine Masters.
Oh, what a gorgeous gown!

-Thank you.
-You just look unbelievable,

and I'm sure the dress weighs 100 pounds.

-Yes, it does.
-Your beard is the most disturbing to me,

-and it looks like a chin strap.
-I don't glue stuff to my face.

The slightest thing will break me out.
I didn't want to take that chance

and put something on my face and going
to the hospital because my skin broke out.

Your Shakespearean performance wasn't fun
to watch, we could kind of see

-that you were having a hard time.
-I knew my lines,

but they didn't come out
how they should.

You did not know your lines.

Next up, Pearl.

Your look makes a statement,
and you're the only one

that used
some really creative materials.

You were a cheerleading coach,

and you were, like, lifeless
and borderline dead.

I like borderline dead. I find it great.

-Once.
-I've only seen it once.

I mean, it was rough.
The domino effect was real.

But you had the first word.

So if you have a domino effect,
you started it.

Yeah. Sorry. Thanks.

-Next up, Kandy Ho.
-Hello.

Yay on the contouring.

Don't think I haven't noticed.
You changed your face and it shows.

-Thank you.
-It's pretty, and now we see you.

-Isn't it funny?
-That's the irony, she wears a beard.

-For the beard challenge...
-She fixes her contour.

I liked the nerdy kind of twist you did
with the tape on the glasses.

-I think you did a fantastic job.
-Thank you.

Next up, Violet Chachki.
I love that Dior silhouette, girl.

You look very elegant and pretty,
and that's hard to do with a full beard.

[RuPaul laughs] Yeah.

Lady MacBitch just fell flat.

How can anyone be crap at being a bitch?

It was a hard day for everybody.

Why is everyone saying a rough day?

Haven't we had days when we just

have to pull it out
and just deal with it and be professional?

Um...

I'll say this. I specifically remember
turning to Kennedy

and saying: "Should we run it as a group?"
And she sh*t me down and said:

"No," and that was
the root of our problem.

I'll take responsibility as a leader.

But as far as taking correction,
I'm not gonna take their blame.

You know, FYI,
for all of you girls up there,

I don't want to hear any god damn excuses.

-Be prepared!
-We didn't have time to re-rehearse.

Make it work. Make it work.

f*cking make it happen! I don't want
to hear any g*dd*mn excuses anymore!

[sighs]

Having said that, my children,

while you untuck backstage,
the judges and I will deliberate.

Just between us, spice girls,
what do you think?

Let's start with Kennedy Davenport.

It looked like she had some pubes
that she glued to her face

-and that was it.
-As a performer...

-Thesbian.
-As a thesp... thesbian...

-I heard that about you.
-What a mistake to not run

-the play as a group.
-It was a mess

from top to bottom.
I don't like messy bottoms.

[laughter]

-[Rupaul] Katya.
-She was consistently delivering.

I think she's always ready,
willing, and abe-le.

[laughs]

-[RuPaul] Jasmine Masters.
-As a fan of the show,

the biggest fan of all time,
it's so frustrating

when you watch someone talented
get in their own way so much

-and they can't pull out of it.
-You have to make it work.

Work. Work it out.

I don't know what it is,
but I really like Jasmine.

[RuPaul] All right.
Let's move on to Pearl.

Her role... I think she was trying
to be, like, a couture football player.

[Michelle] The pants had
this gaping crotch that kept

-grabbing my eyes.
-I saw that. Yeah.

Then, when her lines came,
it was like, "Hark.

-Who goes there?"
-[laughter]

This performance
brought to you by Lithium.

[RuPaul] Kandy Ho.

This will sound shocking,
but I actually enjoyed her hairy box.

-[laughter]
-[Carson] Immensely.

She did seem like one of the only people
having a good time.

-She's an enigma.
-Wait, what did you call me?

-[laughter]
-You better watch it.

-[RuPaul] Violet Chachki.
-I don't want to be a MacBitch about it.

However, she is the one
I remember the least.

Come on.
We can all be a bitch. She wasn't.

-Rude.
-[Michelle laughs]

Silence! I've made my decision.

Bring back my shakes-beards.

Welcome back, ladies.
I've made some decisions.

Kandy Ho...

You're safe.

Katya...

-You're safe, Mr. President.
-[whispers] Thank you.

Jasmine Masters,
your Shakespeare performance

was a tragedy.

I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.

Violet Chachki...

-You're safe.
-Thank you.

Kennedy Davenport, you were team leader,

and heavy is the head
that wears the crown.

Pearl, you've been sleepwalking.

Consider tonight your wake-up call.

Wake up, Pearl.

Wake up.

Pearl...

You're safe.

[dramatic music playing]

Kennedy, my dear, I'm sorry,
but you are up for elimination.

I don't want to go up against Jasmine.

That's my sister.
You know, we have a bond.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance

to impress me and save yourself...

from elimination.

The time has come...

for you to lip-synch for your life.

Good luck and don't f*ck it up.

♪ I was gonna cancel ♪

♪ Until you reminded me ♪

♪ Of what I do
Now I see it clearer ♪

♪ My best friend is a mirror
Look by me ♪

♪ And I see all the things
I've been through ♪

♪ Just hop off of the bed ♪

I just don't want to lip-synch
against my own sister,

but I want to show the world
what I can do.

-♪ Unless you go, go, go, go... ♪
-[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Go, go, go, go, girl ♪

♪ Just hop off of the bed
Hey, go ahead, face the day ♪

♪ Who cares what you know
Don't let that in the way, no way ♪

It's so hard to watch
two of my best judies in this competition

going at it,
knowing that one of them is gonna go home.

♪ Unless you go, go, go, girl ♪

♪ Go, go, go, girl ♪

♪ Go, go, go, go, girl ♪

[applause]

[RuPaul laughs]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Kennedy Davenport. Shantay, you stay.

You may join the other girls.

Jasmine, girl, you are a prima donna
and a true diva.

I know that's right,
and you best believe it.

Now, sashay away.

[applause]

If it was another girl that sent me home,
I'd be pissed off about it.

But knowing that I lost
to my sister, Kennedy,

I'm walking away
from this experience happy.

I know she will knock
those b*tches out,

no tea, no shade, no pink lemonade.

[RuPaul] My queens, remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you'll love somebody else?
Can I get an amen up in here?

[all] Amen.

Now, if music be the food of love,
play on!

♪ Take me up, up, up, up ♪

♪ Up, up, up
We can fly tonight ♪

Byeeeeee!