07x10 - Community Service and the Key to a Happy Marriage

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Oh, that ain't good.

[SIREN CHIRPS]

OFFICER [OVER BULLHORN]: Connie Tucker,

- please stop running.
- [SIREN WAILS]

A deal can be made
without going to trial.

You plead guilty, pay a fine,
lose your business license,

maybe some community service,

probation, but no jail time.

So... do I tell them we have a deal?

- Okay, fine.
- [SIGHS] Oh, thank God.

I'm too old to find somebody new.


♪ ♪

[KNOCKS]

Hi, I'm Connie Tucker.

I'm supposed to be reporting
to my probation officer?

You found her. Come on in.

Sorry I'm a little late.

Not moving very fast today. Oof.

Weren't you arrested
running from the police?

Well, I have my good days.

[MUFFLED GROAN]

Oh...

[GROANS]

Whew.

So the terms of your probation

require you to do 180 hours
of community service.

And you're currently sitting at... zero.

Not true. I've been
reading to the elderly.

Oh. Where at?

Chi-Chi's. My boyfriend
forgot his glasses,

so I read him the menu.

[LAUGHS]

This is a joke to you.

Well, I was hoping.

You think putting on this act

is gonna get you a lighter sentence?

Act?

- What act?
- Look at my nose.

Okay...

You know what this nose can do?

It can smell bull-pucky
from two counties over.

And you know what it's
smelling right now?

A big, steamy pile.

What kind of community
service are we talking about?

I can't be up there on the interstate

picking up trash with some winos.

Well, there are other options.

- Hit me.
- How about Habitat for Humanity?

Build some poor soul a home.

The tornado blew mine to smithereens.

How about some do-gooder
build me a home?

Moving on.

[SIGHS]

You own a hazmat suit?

What? Why-why?

There's a sewage pipe
under the hepatitis clinic

with your name on it.

Let's keep thinking.

Well, we got...

animal shelters, libraries, churches...

Ooh. Is that any church?

Yeah. As long as they
sign off on your hours.

Oh, I like where this is heading.

Why?

A good Christian woman
always is eager to serve.

A Christian woman who
ran a backroom casino?

Hey, God forgave me,
maybe you should, too.

Do you understand I have the
power to throw you in jail?

To be honest, I did not.

♪ ♪

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

♪ ♪

- That doesn't go there.
- Doesn't matter.

Canned beans next to jarred preserves?

- Who cares?
- I care.

Well, no one cares that you care.

I'm someone. And I care that I care.

And I care that I care that I care.

Okay. That's enough.

Are we done?

- What's your hurry?
- It's paternity test day

on Ricki Lake and I'm missing it.

If people paid more attention
of what belongs where,

there'd be no need for paternity tests.

[SIGHS] Just go.

- I'll give you a hand.
- Actually, I'm not crazy

about how you organize things, either.

♪ ♪

I need you to do me a favor.

- Hello to you, too.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look.

I need you to sign some forms
for me, no questions asked.

- What am I signing?
- We agreed no questions asked.

Given her criminal past,
I'd advice caution.

Moon Pie, I love you, but shut it.

Look, I got to knock out
my community service,

and they say I can do it at the church.

That's great. We'd love to have you.

Or you could just fill out my timesheets

and we would be done with
the whole thing. Easy peasy.

I'm not lying for you. That's a sin.

Oh, come on. 180 hours at my age?

Who knows if I've even
got that much time left.

Well, then it's a good thing

that we're gonna get to spend
so much of it together.

[CONSTANCE CRYING OVER BABY MONITOR]

- Hi.
- Hello.

Don't you hear the baby crying?

Yeah. She's been at it for a while.

And you didn't go pick her up?

Well, no, it's still her naptime.

She'll cry herself out
and go back to sleep.

Unbelievable.

Good idea. Let the baby be in charge.

No, actually, I left
my mother in charge,

but I won't make that mistake again.

Amanda, I'm trying to
teach her self-reliance,

but if you prefer to coddle
her, you go right ahead.

I'm sorry, are you accusing
me of babying my baby?

Because I am her mother

and I think I know when she needs me.

[CONSTANCE QUIETS]

You were saying?

[CONSTANCE CRIES]

Ha!

You're happy your daughter's crying?

I'm happy you're wrong.

MEEMAW: All right, I'm here.
Clock me in for 9:30.

It's 10:15.

I prayed on the way in. That counts.

- Mom.
- Fine.

Call it 9:45.

Let me just finish up this payroll here

and then we'll find some
work for you to do.

No hurry. I'm just gonna lay down here

and close my eyes for a minute.

Mary, the racoons got into
the communion wafers again.

Oh. Hey, Connie. Didn't
know you were here.

I'm just here to help out.

That's so nice.

Well, it's her community
service for being arrested.

- Still nice.
- Well, the big guy appreciates it.

He'd really appreciate it if
she actually did something.

Why are you like this?
I raised you to be cool.

I am plenty cool.

Anyway. If you have anything
that you need help with,

my mom is here to work.

Oh. Well, I do need my suit
picked up from the dry cleaner.

Is that the dry cleaner
next to the nail salon?

- Yeah.
- I'm on it.

Or... you know what we
could really use is someone

to help organize the donation room.

That's a big job.

Too late. I'm getting the suit.

I'll get it on my way to the bank.

That way, you can start
on the donation room

instead of getting your nails done.

You're the boss around
here. What's your call?

Oh, actually, he's the boss.

What's that?

He says it's Mary's call.

Mm.

Oh, my God.

We don't say that, but... yeah.

This is gonna take forever.

How many hours is your
community service?

Hundred eighty.

Than you better get cracking.

Maybe I'll get my nails done.

Hey, we got any fresh binkies?

I found this one in her diaper.

Drying rack.

[CONSTANCE CRYING NEARBY]

Or... you could just
let her soothe herself.

What do you mean?

Well, if you give her a pacifier
every time she fusses,

- she'll never learn.
- So, I should just let her cry?

Whatever you think is best.

Can't you just tell me?

Hey, where's the binky?

- Right here.
- What are you waiting for?

Well, your mom was just
saying if we give it to her

every time she's cranky,
she'll never learn.

Oh, is that what she said?

I'm just trying to help.

I told you we don't need your help.

- We don't?
- What do you think?

[CONSTANCE CONTINUES CRYING]

Well...

Should I go after her?

You're her husband. You decide.

Why won't anybody tell me anything?

Six hours.

All day long for six lousy hours.

I gave you six, you worked four.

- Felt longer.
- Most people work eight.

Most people get paid.

Most people don't commit crimes.

Sure they do. They
just don't get caught.

[CHUCKLES] So, how'd the first day

of giving back to the community go?

I sorted a pair of work pants

- that had a prosthetic leg still in it.
- [SNORTS]

- Shut up.
- Oh, don't be so dramatic.



Only 174 to go.

You're enjoying this, aren't ya?

Darn tootin'.

- [CHUCKLES]
- I got her on my ass,

I got Officer Thomason on my ass.

Who's that?

- My probation officer.
- Mm.

Wait.

- Rhonda Thomason?
- You know her?

Yeah. Her kid's on varsity.

Nice lady. Brings grapes to halftime.

She could get the judge
to reduce my hours,

- but she won't do it.
- Yeah, like I said, nice lady.

By chance, would you talk to her for me?

I'm sorry.

Are you asking me for a favor?

- Yes.
- Mm.

I didn't hear the magic word.

How about this?

Why don't you pay me back
the money I gave you

for the down payment on this house?

Thank you. Was that so hard?

She asleep?

Yeah, 'cause I gave her a pacifier.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
That's some good mothering.

How could you not take my side?

Sorry, but we don't really
know what we're doing.

[SCOFFS]

I mean, I don't. You are a natural.

We're her parents.

We should decide how to raise her.

Okay, but your mom's done this before.

I mean, she raised you.
And you're pretty great.

Do you honestly think
I'm gonna fall for that?

No, you're way too smart.

Oh, cut it out.

[QUIETLY]: And stop defending her.

I'm not defending her.

I was just taught to respect my elders.

I'm your elder.

When I say that, you get mad.

Yeah, 'cause you shouldn't say it.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh. Oh, you think you're funny?

No, ma'am.

Mm-hmm.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Hey, Rhonda.

Coach Cooper,

- what a nice surprise.
- Yeah, you know me.

Full of surprises.

Like that fake field goal
against Plainview.

Ooh, that was something.
[LAUGHS] But really.

What are you, what are you doing here?

Well, uh... you may not know this,

but, uh, one of your...

clients happens to be my mother-in-law.

- Connie Tucker.
- She's a character, ain't she?

And she asked you to come down here

to see if I would go easy on her?

What? No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah.

'Cause she thinks she
deserves special treatment?

Yeah, well, you're just hitting
the nail on the head today.

Let me ask you a question.

Would you give one of your
players special treatment

if they were ducking practice?

No, if anything,
I'm tougher on those kids.

So if I understand you,

you're saying I should be
tougher on your mother-in-law.

I just made it worse, didn't I?

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah.

Okay, then.

- Thanks for the grapes.
- Mm.

- Finished the inventory.
- Hey.

Georgie? I ran into
Amanda's old pediatrician

and he said he could take
CeeCee on as a new patient.

Thanks, but she already has a doctor.

AUDREY: Yes. Well,
Dr. Talanda is the best.

Okay, look. I know you're
trying to help, but Mandy al...

Oh, oh, oh, look at that.

That can't be right. Georgie, come
here. Walk with me for a minute.

- Where we going?
- Shut up.

Keep walking.

Are you mental?

- What?
- Why are you arguing with her?

What? I was just trying
to be a good husband,

and take Mandy's side.

Okay, you know a great
time to take Mandy's side?

When you're alone with Mandy.

And when you're with Audrey...

Take Audrey's side.

Okay, there's hope for you.

When you're alone with me in a closet,

feel free to speak your mind.

- Seems a little complicated.
- Oh, it is.

Yeah, life would be so much easier

if they just realized
how alike they are.

Don't say that.

Don't ever say that.

We're alone in a closet.
You said I could speak my mind.

Yeah, yeah, but not that.

- So where?
- Nowhere.

They, uh...

they'll know.

[CHUCKLES]

- Working hard?
- Hey.

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

What brings you by?

Your son-in-law dropped in to see me.

Oh, y'all know each other?

- We do.
- Small world.

It did not go your way.

- No?
- No.

Well, you can't blame a gal for trying.

Actually, I can.

Oh, come on, there must be
some criminals out there

that you could be focused on.

Not some old granny with slot machines.

Go out there and harass somebody
who actually deserves it.

- You done?
- Yes, I think I am.

My turn.

You are a criminal.

And I can treat you
however the hell I want,

because I own your tired old ass.

And I will make your life miserable

unless you shape up and shape up fast.

Do we understand each other?

Yes, ma'am.

To be clear, what are you?

A criminal.

And what do I own?

My tired old ass.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

I'm gonna come back in a couple of days.

This room better be spic and span.

It will be. Yes, ma'am.

Thank you, ma'am.

Oh, say hi to George for me.

- [DOOR SLAMS]
- Hey, Connie.

What did you say to her?

Nothing.

Just what a great grandma you are.

And what a great great-grandma you are.

- Well, you made it worse.
- I'm sorry, I...

I did my best.

Well, your best stunk.

[SIGHS]

So now what?

I got no choice.

Got to bring in the big g*ns.

Wow.

- What a mess.
- Yeah.

You want me to organize
this whole room in two days?

I do.

Oh, boy. Thank you, Meemaw.

Well, you can go ahead and
cancel that appointment.

Thank you.

- Gonna k*ll her.
- What's going on?

[SIGHS] My mother made
CeeCee an appointment

with a new doctor and
she didn't even ask.

What? Oh, no.

I am furious.

As you should be.

You don't think I'm overreacting?

Not at all.

I agree with you.

Sometimes I just don't
understand what she's thinking.

Well, how could you?

You two are just... so different.

Thank you.

- Toy.
- Toy.

- Taxidermy.
- Taxidermy.

Toy?

♪ ♪

Hi. My name is Teddy Ruxpin.

Can you and I be friends?

Nightmare.

I'll start a new box.

How's it going? What's he doing here?

Meemaw's letting me organize everything.

You're farming out your
community service to my son?

How about thanks for
getting him to the church?

[EXHALES]

Come on, Sheldon, we're going home.

But I haven't even
started on the hats yet.

There's so many different kinds.

- Baseball, cowboy, hard...
- Now.

[GROANS]

[EXHALES]

You are unbelievable.

You think that the rules
don't apply to you.

And that when you get caught,

it just becomes
everybody else's problem.

Oh, come on! He's sorting
out a room full of junk.

This is his Disneyland.

What about Georgie?

What about the gambling room?

He could've gone to jail.

I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment.

Yeah, me, too.

Huh.

Meat's a little dry, isn't it?

No, I like it like this.

You don't think it's too salty?

It's perfect. I love your cooking.

My mom made this.

Oh, well, now that you mention it,

it is a little dry.

I made it.

- What are you doing to me?
- What are you doing to me?

For the past couple of days
you've been agreeing

with everything that I say.

- You're right.
- Stop it.

I'm sorry.

It was suggested to me
that agreeing with you

is the key to a happy marriage.

- By my dad?
- I don't recall.

- Georgie...
- By your dad.

Do my parents sound happy to you?

I don't know, they're still married.

Well, I want us to be better than that.

- I agree.
- Oh, cut it out.

No, I meant that one.

Okay.

And if you want the truth,

I think your mom was
right about the doctor.

Excuse me?

Our doctor rubbed alcohol on one arm

and gave CeeCee the
sh*t on the other arm.

- He did?
- He did.

Look, your mom shouldn't have made
an appointment behind our backs,

but our guy might be ready
for the glue factory.

Maybe you're right.

I'm confused, do I like this or not?

[SIGHS]

What are you doing here?

Helping.

I thought I was a disappointment.

I can be disappointed with you

and still not want you to go to jail.

Finished organizing the religious items.

I separated them by New Testament hokum,

Old Testament hokum,
and general nonsense.

Also, Sheldon couldn't sleep

knowing the room was
only half-organized.

It's true. It was like my brain was
itchy and I couldn't scratch it.

- Very irritating.
- It was. Very.

Well, I thank you both, but...

I should be doing this myself.

Yes, you should, but we're already here.

Great, I'm gonna start on the books.

I invented my own Dewey Decimal System,

but instead of decimals,
I use fractions.



It might've been 42, but I rounded down.

And you did all the work by yourself?

Yes, ma'am.

You know I called your daughter
to check up on you.

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

What did she say?

She said you worked your butt off.

Well, there you go.

All right, then.

I'll see you next week.

You know, you were pretty
rough on me the other day,

and I just want to let you know
that I appreciated that.

You do?

Well, I think it was the kick
in the pants that I needed.

[CHUCKLES]

And since things are going so well,

I was wondering it you might
want to reduce my sentence.

See you next week.

Bye now.

Bye.

I heard you took CeeCee to Dr. Talanda.

We did. And he was very good.

- Thank you.
- AUDREY: No need to thank me.

I just want the best
for my granddaughter.

Well, that's what we all want.

[INHALES]

Funny thing.

Uh, Talanda said it's
actually okay for CeeCee

to have her pacifier to sleep.

Who's raising this baby, him or you?

We are. And I think we're
doing a dang good job of it.

I was talking to my daughter.

Oh, I love this commercial.
The dog eats the cat food.

[LAUGHS]

Georgie can talk, okay?

That's how our marriage works.

Excuse me, are you implying my husband

isn't allowed to speak his mind?

Well, if we're gonna put
cards on the table, yeah.

[LAUGHS] That isn't true.

- Tell him, Jim.
- Uh...

Like he can say anything now
that you put him on the spot.

He isn't on the spot. He is a grown man.

Speak.

Stop bossing him around.

He will speak when he wants to.

- You want to get some popcorn?
- AUDREY: Oh, please, I've been married

- to the man for 35 years...
- Yeah.

- ... I know what he wants.
- MANDY: Maybe what he wants

is for you to get off his back.

AUDREY: Oh, look who's
an expert on marriage

after one whole month.