05x13 - Find Your Bench

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Bob Hearts Abishola". Aired: September 23, 2019 – present.*
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Despite their differences, Bob falls in love with Abishola and sets his sights on getting her to give him a chance.
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05x13 - Find Your Bench

Post by bunniefuu »

[SIGHS] I hate the doctor's office.

Just being here is
making my glands swell.

Feel 'em.

No.

You got to stop with this anxiety.

I mean, where does it come from?

Enough is enough!

It's really nice having
Grammie here, isn't it?

- Uh-huh.
- [CHUCKLES]

Of course I'm here.

I wouldn't let my Maxine
go to the doctor's alone.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Cover your mouth around my baby.

How are you feeling, Maxine?

Remember, all emotions are valid.

I'm okay.

Because Grammie's here?

And you're tough
like your best friend Grammie.

I want to go home.

Oh, honey, but the doctor's coming.

And she told me that
you're her favorite patient.

No.

If you're good, I'll take you
out for ice cream.

No, Mom, I don't want
to use food as a reward.

Your mother's right.
If you sit there quietly,

I'll give you $20.

Hi, Maxine.

Hi, Auntie.

Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh.

Dr. Auntie.

Ah.

Listen, when you're done with the kid,

I need your expert opinion on Botox.

Mom, she's a pediatrician.

I know. I want the forehead
of a nine-year-old.

["IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING]

Oh, hey, boss man.

Ah. I have money for you.

I never get tired of hearing that.

You know what this is?

The final payment I owe you for MaxDot.

Hence, the "boss man."

I heard it. And I like it! [CHUCKLES]

Oh. Fellas?

♪ For he's the owner of MaxDot ♪

♪ For he's the owner of MaxDot ♪

♪ For he's the owner of MaxDot ♪

♪ Goodwin Aderibigbe Olayiwola ♪

♪ Is the owner of MaxDot today. ♪

What a wonderful surprise.

It's a big day. I officially
have to switch which ass I kiss.

But it doesn't really work if you tell

the person you're doing it.

No, it will work.

I am CFO. I do not kiss ass anymore.

I'm COO and I'll still do it.

Thank you, Douglas.

Well, if it needs kissing...

Too late.

Bob, I want to thank you

for sharing all your wisdom
these past years

as I transitioned into power.

Ah, you're welcome.
And just so you know,

I'm around any time you need me.

I know. And I will not.

Come on, we're not saying goodbye.

Oh, do not worry, my friend,
we will see each other often.

Oh, thank you.

Just never again in this building.

Kofo, sing.

♪ Goodbye forever to Bob ♪

♪ Goodbye forever to Bob ♪

♪ Goodbye forever to Bob ♪

- ♪ I will get a box for your things. ♪
- All right.

_

Doctor, there's a
husband here to see you.

Sit. I'll take your blood pressure.

I was just kidding. I brought you lunch.

- I am not kidding. Give me your arm.
- Aw...

[GRUNTS]

We should have one of these at home.

You could play doctor,
I'll play patient,

maybe we violate some HIPAA laws.

Oh, there will be hips involved.

All right.

You know, my numbers
should be a little lower

now that I'm the former CEO of MaxDot.

How does it feel?

Weird.

I always thought
when I finally stopped working,

I'd be old and infirm.

Well, good news: you are just old.

Don't worry, I'm not staying.

I know you're busy being sugar mama.

- Eh-eh.
- Dr. Sugar Mama.

But now you are free to...

You know, I don't know
what retired people do.

You know, me, neither.

I don't want to sit around
doing nothing.

I mean, I want a purpose.

Aw.

What was that for?

It is so sexy how not lazy you are.

[CHUCKLES]

What about the book you wanted to write?

The one about socks.

Well, the socks would just be a metaphor

for all the things I've learned.

Great. Write it down.

It's a silly idea.

You know, a way
to capture all the knowledge

I've "woven together" over the years.

Woven, like the socks.

That was humorous.

I was going for humorous.

You know what?
I'm gonna go buy some notebooks.

- That "seams" like a good idea.
- Yeah.

"Seams..." like it.

Like a sock seam.
Look at you making a pun.

You can use that one.

- But if you take any more, I want credit.
- Yes, ma'am.

_

I got you this time, you snake.

- Gin.
- Oh...

Damn it, Tunde,

ever since you grew that
mustache, I can't read you.

Nobody can. I am a man of mystery.

My man of mystery.

It is like she has taken
a younger lover.

Please don't tell my husband.

I love that it's put
a spark in your marriage,

but if he wins another round,
I'm shaving that lip myself.

It takes a special kind of person

to sell a piece of clothing
most people take for granted:

the humble sock.

Sounding good, mustache brother.

Why are you talking to yourself?

I'm just getting started
on my book, and I got to say,

two minutes in,
I'm a fountain of wisdom.

Wisdom about socks?

The socks are just a metaphor.

Hmm.

- What?
- I'm just saying, "Hmm."

Can't you just say it's a good idea?

Honey, people don't read anymore.

Well, that's not true.
Olu and Tunde read.

We switched to audiobooks.

My eyes are not as young
as this mustache makes me look.

Well, when I'm ready to record,
I know who I'm calling.

"In the beginning...

there was yarn..."

Thank you for squeezing me in
to your busy schedule, Doctor.

- I will always make time for you.
- Aw.

We have 12 minutes.

That's not long enough.

This truck is too damn popular.

I think people only come here
to watch the owners fight.

Two more jollof bowls, five all day.

Five jollof bowls all day!

I heard you, woman.

Then say, "Yes, Chef."

Fine, Chef.

Not "Fine, Chef," "Yes, Chef."

Chef you.

Hello.

- Hello.
- Welcome to Kemi's Yummies.

I am Kemi. And I am yummy.

What do you want?

I don't know. What's good today?

Everything is good.

You don't see this line
of desperate people?

Chukwuemeka!

What?!

Oh. Hello, ladies.

- Two chef's specials for my friends.
- Fine.

And take orders while I talk to them.

I cannot do both.

Figure it out!

I am a pharmacist, damn it.

You sure working together


Absolutely. We drive each other insane

and then we get home and make
love like two cats in a bag.

[LAUGHS]

At least you get to spend time together.

Bob is retiring, but I'm still so busy.

Oh, no. It must be so awful
when all your dreams come true.

I sure don't miss working every day.

Lester and I just booked
a trip to Italy.

Oh, that sounds amazing.

Look, if you go to Florence,

there is a restaurant
near the Ponte Vecch...

Abishola, you haven't done
anything fun in 25 years.

There is no way
that restaurant still exists.

Send me the name, honey.
I'll look for it.

I would love to take Bob there one day.

After I pull back
from work a little bit.

Well, I will not hold my breath
for this trip.

And if does happen,
there is no way Gloria

will still be alive to hear about it.

What's wrong with you?

You probably right, though.

- Order up.
- So,

what else is new?

Order up!

Yes, I have ears!

Which he will hold onto tonight.

_

I don't know what happened.

We were playing with trucks,

because it was the day of the week

we use traditionally masculine toys.

And all of the sudden,
a wheel was missing.

It rolled away.

[WHISPERS]: She ate it.

Or it rolled away.

You believe her over me?

Yes.

But we can't risk it.

Do you have one of those throat cameras?

Or one that goes in the other end?

Whatever you think.

Or maybe we should wait for the truck

to drive out on its own.

What?

I'm just joking.

How are you feeling, Maxine?

I'm okay.

- Does your tummy hurt?
- No.

Okay.

What about your throat or your chest?

Are you feeling yucky?

Okay.

Open your mouth for me.

Ah.

Oh, my God, what is that?!

Her tongue.

Is there a tread mark on it?

- She'll be fine.
- [SIGHS]

Tell your mommy if anything
starts hurting, okay?

Okay.

That is the nice thing about
having a doctor for a sister...

you're always available.

I am glad it feels that way.

Yeah.

Although...

I've been thinking
about taking a vacation.

No.

It is not up to you.

Well, what if we have an emergency?

Then you go to the emergency room.

But you are the best doctor.

That is true.

So, you would trust
your own niece with a stranger?

You know what? Fine. We're just
gonna have to go with you.

You'll be fine.

No. We won't.

No, we won't.

_

Hey, what's this in the printer?

Oh, put 'em right here.

I'll proofread before
going to the next chapter.

You're writing a book?

Part memoir. Part juicy tell-all.

Part erotic thriller...

I might have too many parts.

What happened to "people don't read"?

They don't read boring stuff. Sex sells.

And chapter five's drippin' with it.

Ugh.

How about you... what do you got so far?

Well, at this stage
it's a lot of concepts,

it's more about organizing the flow.

You got nothing.

I got nothing.

Well, you're gonna hit roadblocks.

I can't figure out
how to end this chapter.

Let me see.

"He said, 'My, what a perfect pair.'

"And I knew he wasn't
talking about the socks."

You're on your own.

No, you should keep reading.

One of the chapters
has your father in it.

That wasn't him?

Ah, ah, ah.

If you want the details,
you got to buy the book.

_

DELE: You should've seen it.

We got a five-minute standing ovation.

[CHUCKLES] All for you?

For the whole cast.

But mostly for you?

Yes, Mom.

The show closes in a couple of weeks,

thought I might stop by
and see you guys.

Won't you be busy looking for a new job?

I want to get out of New York for a bit.

I'm gonna take a couple months off.

Off of what... making money?

I'll be fine.

I'm just taking some time
to... decompress.

A new job would make you
feel less compressed.

Mom, I mean this
with the utmost respect,

but having no life and busting my ass

isn't the only way to be happy.

Just because you are an adult

does not mean you can curse at me.

Sorry.

But you are a grown man.

You can make your own decisions.

Thank you.

All right, I've got to get going.

- I love you, Mom.
- I love you, too.

Hey!

Who is that?

A... friend.

Get another job so you can
buy your friend some pants.

_

Auntie, this is not gout.

It is just a splinter.

It's nice she's able to
help you on her one day off.

I'm happy to do it.

Still feel like we should start
charging for church calls.

Jesus healed for free, Bob.

Yeah, how'd that work out?

Everyone! Our niece
is doing live surgery!

This is hardly surgery.

I can walk again.

You could walk before.

I am sorry for the bother.

But someone let it slip

that you made the "Top Ten
Doctors in Detroit" list.

You put it in the church bulletin.

Guilty!

- We're all proud of you, honey.
- Thank you.

We are proud of you, too.
For your... book thing.

Hello, everyone.

Yes, hello, commoners of our parish.

Did you enjoy my husband's sermon?

We know you are married,

you do not need to keep reminding us.

Ah, but I do.

Abishola,

I have an injury that is keeping
me from playing pickleball.

Let me see what I can do, Pastor.

- Okay.
- If he is beyond saving,

you will play with me
in the tournament next weekend.

Yes, Mummy.

And practice first.
Last time you made me lose.

Got to be honest. This book thing

is not going as well as I hoped.

Everyone can tell.

Are you writing this book
because you are enjoying it

or because you think
you have to stay busy?

Right now I'm just
trying to b*at my mom.

You have nothing to prove to anyone.

At this is point in your life,

you should only be concerned

with what makes you happiest.

How'd you get so wise?

It is the mustache.

When's the last time we did this?

Hmm.

It's been years.

Ah. So much has changed.

But this bench is just
how it's always been.

Yeah, that wonky nail's
still poking me in the back.

We should carve our names on this thing.

Abishola, that is illegal.

I am a doctor now. I am above the law.

No matter what was going on,

- this was always our spot.
- Mm-hmm.

[SIGHS]

When I am here, I do not feel
like I need to be anywhere else.

Just with you.

- That's the magic of the bench.
- Mm-mm.

That's the magic of Bob Wheeler.

That's the book.

What?

Find Your Bench.

No matter how crazy life gets,

you got to have a place

where you can set it all down

and remember what's important.

That is a wonderful idea.

- I got to get to work.
- Mm-mm.

We are on the bench.

You're right.

- [SPEAKS YORUBA]
- [CHUCKLES]

And you are the love of my life.

["LOVE DON'T CARE" BY SIMI PLAYING]

♪ Mama call me o... ♪

Pretty.

- Eh?
- You look like an angel.

Good night, sweet Bob.

- [CHUCKLES]
- What now?

Well, I never liked the sound of my name

but when you say it, it sounds nice.

[NIGERIAN ACCENT]: Bob.

Good night, sweet Bob.

Oh, yeah, that's way better than "Baab."

- Hi.
- Hello.

Well, I promised you the
best-made socks in the world

and I am a man who keeps his promises.

Thank you.

So, uh, anyway,

is, uh, today, like, a day off for you?

Yes. Goodbye.

BOB: Uh, I know you
and I don't make any sense.

We're like ice cream for breakfast.

Doesn't seem like a good idea,

but if it makes you happy... why not?

I brought you breakfast.

Ice cream.

I'm going to check on your mother.

What was that?

I was expressing my enthusiasm.

Abishola, that's not what this is about.

I wanted to know how you felt

when I told you I loved you.

Okay, good talk.

I am committed to you.

And that should be enough.

♪ If I love you ♪

♪ If I love you ♪

♪ No be wetin you be baby... ♪

Bob.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

♪ Make I see your love o. ♪
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