06x04 - Can't Hardly Wait

[bunniefuu]

Outside Degrassi, Ashley puts her hands over Jimmy’s eyes

Ashley: Guess who?

Jimmy: Uh Heather Sinclaire.

Ashley: Very funny. Close your eyes. I have a surprise. Now open your mouth.

Jimmy: Oh man here we go.

(Ashley puts a whistle in his mouth.)

Ashley: Now blow.

Jimmy: That’s very cool. You got me a new one. Thank you.

Ashley: Well coach can’t keep the junior girls basketball team in line with a broken whistle.

Jimmy: That’s true.

(Ashley sees what Jimmy is drawing.)

Ashley: That’s the logo on your shirt.

Jimmy: Yeah. Yeah Marco saw it and thought it would be a good design, so…

Ashley: And an old picture of Hazel. How cute.

Jimmy: Just a class assignment.

Ashley: So um where’s the sketch of your current girlfriend?

Jimmy: It’s all up here baby girl. I just gotta capture it on paper. Believe me Ash, when I draw you, it will be my masterpiece.

Ashley: So um when can I schedule a sit-in with my master painter?

Jimmy: Well good things come to those who wait.

Ashley: It’s just that your model’s starting to wonder if maybe she’s doing something wrong.

Jimmy: Ash when the time is right, my canvas will be ready.

Ashley: Okay, but um just so you know-

Jimmy: Mm hmm?

Ashley: The model is ready and willing.

(She teases him by almost kissing him and then pulling away.)

In the gym

Spinner: So Darce and I are at the movies last night.

Jimmy: Clown Academy 4 out already?

Spinner: Dude how would I know? Darce and I rocked the back row, if you catch my flow.

Jimmy: You and Darcy, for real?

Spinner: No. No um only in my dreams, which is why I’m just a little bit jealous of you and Ash.

Jimmy: Jealous?

Spinner: Come on dude I don’t see an abstinence ring on your finger.

Jimmy: Me and you, are friends, but we’re also guys. Ergo we do not talk about our sex lives, okay?

Spinner: Hergro at least you have something to not talk about.

Jimmy: Look this stays here, alright? The mind is willing, but the body…

Spinner: Dude?

Jimmy: Since the sh**ting it just hasn’t been the same. Physio helps. Doc says it might happen one day, but the question is when.

Spinner: Dude.

Jimmy: Can you think of anything else to say right now?

Spinner: I don’t know what else to say man. It’s hard. Not for you. I didn’t-

(He stops and Jimmy throws the ball at him.)

Spinner: Sorry, sorry. Look maybe you’re just too wound up. I mean you are tense 24/7. Take it from Coach Spinner, just relax. Let the game come to you. Don’t force anything.

(Jimmy sh**t a basket into the hoop.)

In the hallway

Darcy: Manny! The brilliant future Spirit Squad choreographer. Just the girl I’m looking for.

Manny: Keep looking. I already said no.

Darcy: But you never gave me a reason.

Manny: You know exactly why Darcy.

Darcy: If you sister sins, rebuke her. If she repents, forgive her. Luke, chapter 7?

Manny: Thank you Sister Cuckoo Banana.

Darcy: I’m trying to say I know we didn’t see eye to eye last year.

Manny: This year has been a regular staring contest.

Darcy: I’m trying to apologize okay, for last year. I was a jerk to you. I may be the captain, but the squad is nothing without you. Forgive me? Please, please, please.

Manny: Okay. Okay everyone makes mistakes I guess.

Darcy: Ah the team is going to be so brilliant this year.

Manny: Yeah. We should put a lot more focus on our aerials.

Darcy: Really? ‘Cause I was thinking we should focus more on our cheers.

At Jimmy’s physiotherapist session

Physiotherapist: Oh impressive transfer. You’ve been working out without me.

Jimmy: Uh honestly not so much. Just been on the court a lot, playing pickup, coaching.

Physiotherapist: Busy guy.

Jimmy: Yeah.

Physiotherapist: Well it sure has helped your core abdominal strength.

(Jimmy looks up and sees that he has a boner.)

Physiotherapist: Okay let’s stretch those hip flexors.

(She walks over to him and he puts a newspaper over his crotch.)

Jimmy: That’s good.

Physiotherapist: Okay Jimmy. Other leg.

Jimmy: Um I think I’m gonna keep stretching this one. I’m just feeling a little stiff.

In the hallway at school

(Jimmy is rolling around giving high five’s to everyone he sees, he does a little pump fist action with Mr. Simpson and then rolls over to Spinner.)

Jimmy: I owe you a huge solid.

Spinner: Okay, what’s up?

Jimmy: Something’s up alright.

Spinner: What the team’s free throw percentage?

Jimmy: I had my lunch time physio. Took your advice.

Spinner: What advice?

Jimmy: It was very relaxing.

Spinner: Uh huh?

Jimmy: Dude!

Spinner: What?

Jimmy: Wow.

(Jimmy whispers what happened in Spinner’s ear.)

Spinner: Oh no! No way. Ah and here comes just the person you can share it with. Catch you later.

Jimmy: Yeah.

(Ashley walks over.)

Jimmy: Hey.

(He kisses her hand.)

Ashley: Someone’s happy.

Jimmy: More than you know. What do you say we get our sushi on tonight? Just us.

Ashley: A date? Yeah sure. So what’s the occasion?

Jimmy: I just have a good feeling about tonight. That’s all.

At Spirit Squad tryouts

(Every girl that tries out is horrible.)

Manny: If I see another m*nled turkey.

Darcy: Just one more corpse, then the final thanks, but no thanks.

Manny: Who’s Mia Jones?

Mia: Mia. I uh just transferred here.

Darcy: Okay Mia. Break a leg.

(She starts her routine and Manny and Darcy are very impressed.)

Mia: We’re mad. We’re bad. We’re gonna kick your ass. We’ll b*at you. Defeat you. Might even try to eat you. We’re nasty. We’re sassy. ‘Cause baby we’re Degrassi. Go Degrassi!

(She finishes her routine.)

Mia: So how about that call-back?

Manny: Well obviously!

Darcy: For the rest of you show’s over. Me and Manny are talking Spirit Squad tonight.

Manny: Now that we’ve met you, we have serious world domination to plan. Get your butt to the Dot at 8.

Mia: My butt’ll be there.

At the sushi restaurant, Jimmy shows Ashley the picture he drew of her

Ashley: It’s beautiful Jimmy.

Jimmy: Your eyes and your lips and the way the light hits your cheek, it’s all b*rned into my memory.

Ashley: Thank you.

Jimmy: No Ash thank you. You’re my number 1, before everything. It’s all you.

Ashley: You know I was um hoping to pose for you someday, but like you said good things come to those who wait.

Jimmy: I think that wait is about to end. My parents are going out later and I was thinking you could come over tonight.

Ashley: You sure? I mean why now?

Jimmy: Let’s just say I think I’m finally ready and able.

At the Dot

Darcy: What is the one trophy missing from the Degrassi wall of glory?

Manny: Metro Cheerleading Competition.

Darcy: And with you, me and our new secret w*apon, I think we’re ready to take this squad to a whole new level.

(Mia walks in with her daughter.)

Mia: Hey guys. Um this is my daughter Isabella. Isabella, meet Manny and Darcy.

Manny: Oh my god she’s adorable.

Darcy: That’s your baby?

Manny: Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. Spirit Squad, schmirit squad. I have to hear all about this little angel. Hi my name’s Manny and you are just so cute.

(Darcy sits there silently with a disapproving look on her face.)

At Jimmy’s house, Ashley walks downstairs in her lingerie

Jimmy: Wow. You look wow.

(They start making out and it cuts to Jimmy with his shirt off.)

Ashley: Everything okay?

Jimmy: Yeah. Yeah I’m fine. Don’t stop.

(It cuts again to them still making out when Jimmy pulls back.)

Jimmy: You know what? There’s nothing you can do. You should probably just go.

At Ashley’s locker

Jimmy: Ashley.

(Ashley walks away from him.)

Jimmy: Ash I’m sorry about what happened last night or in my case what didn’t happen.

Ashley: You know what? You should apologize, not for that. Jimmy when a girl throws herself at you, you don’t kick her out.

Jimmy: I’m sorry. I just, I couldn’t deal.

Ashley: Look so it was a bad idea. Jimmy it doesn’t matter. We could totally live without ever…you know.

Jimmy: Okay we cannot live without you know. I’m going to make this work.

(Ashley sits down and takes his hands.)

Ashley: There are methods. I’ve done some research. Medical options.

Jimmy: I know. That’s why I made a doctor’s appointment.

(Ashley kisses him.)

At Spirit Squad auditions

Manny: 5, 6, 7, 8. Hey are you ready? Are you ready to shout it out? Blue and gold, we are Degrassi.

(They finish the cheer.)

Manny: That was great. You are not making this decision easy.

Darcy: Uh Mia up front. Drop the poms. Let’s see a heal stretch.

Mia: Sure.

(Mia does a heal stretch.)

Darcy: How about a back walkover?

(Mia does a walkover.)

Darcy: Toe touch?

(Mia does a toe touch.)

Darcy: Needs work and would it k*ll you to smile?

Manny: What’s your problem? She’s our girl Darcy.

Darcy: Fine. Go back to your cheers.

Manny: Okay uh we’re gonna try something a little different.

At Jimmy’s doctor’s appointment

Jimmy: I was into it, she was into it, we were in the moment and uh nothing.

Doctor: And the other time you had an erection, were you in the moment then?

Jimmy: I’m not attracted to my physiotherapist. It just, it just happened.

Doctor: I understand. Jimmy it’s good that you have some activity. It just seems a little involuntary. You know not there when you need it, there when you don’t.

Jimmy: Like uh waiting for a bus.

Doctor: Look there are options for erectile dysfunction. Implants, pumps-

Jimmy: Is that, is that all there is though? I have to turn into some sex robot? Wind me up and watch me go?

Doctor: Well implants and pumps, those are down the road. First things first. We’re gonna get you on some medication.

Jimmy: Ah as in the pill that gets the middle aged people dancing in the streets.

Doctor: Well it can be effective in some cases, yeah.

Jimmy: What if it’s not though? I mean…I just don’t want to be a virgin for the rest of my life.

Doctor: If this doesn’t work we explore the other options. You take one, give it an hour and remember to relax, okay?

At Jimmy’s house

Ashley: Should I put some music on?

Jimmy: No. I like the quiet.

Ashley: Let’s see here.

(She picks up a pamphlet.)

Ashley: It says side effects may include increased tension, muscle spasms, upset stomach, diarrhoea.

Jimmy: Great. Now I’m in the mood.

Ashley: Well it says it could take over an hour.

Jimmy: It’s been almost two.

Ashley: Well did you have a big lunch or anything?

Jimmy: No I’m starving myself. I just want to make sure this will work.

Ashley: Maybe you just need to relax.

(She starts giving him a massage.)

Ashley: See isn’t that nice?

Jimmy: Yeah.

(Jimmy gives up when nothing happens and turns on the TV.)

Ashley: What’s wrong?

Jimmy: Just forget it. Strike two.

In the hallway

Manny: I say forget about cheers. If we want to win the Metro Competition it needs to be more about dance, gymnastics, stunts, pyramids.

Mia: Yeah that’s assuming I’m even on the squad. Captain Darcy’s been giving me the freeze-a-chills.

Manny: She’s a bit uptight, but she wants to win as bad as I do.

(Mia nods towards Darcy who is putting up the members list.)

Manny: No. No. Darcy someone’s missing from this list!

Darcy: Everyone who deserves to be on the team is there.

Manny: Yeah right. Nobody deserves to be on the team more than Mia does.

Darcy: Sorry Manny. My decision’s final.

In the gym before the girls basketball game starts

Nic: You’re going down Degrassi.

(JT looks at the opposing team’s members.)

JT: Woah. They’re big.

Toby: Size isn’t everything JT.

(JT gives Toby a dirty look and Mia walks over to Darcy in a uniform.)

Darcy: What is this?

Manny: You can’t keep her off the team.

Mia: You know I deserve this or is there some sort of no single moms policy?

Darcy: Mia your baby is a huge responsibility and well, so is Spirit Squad. I’m sorry.

Manny: When my new manicure meets your face, then you’ll be sorry.

Mia: Darcy, Isabella has daycare. She can be taken care of whenever I’m at practice. I can do both.

Darcy: How can I believe someone who’s made such enormous life mistakes.

Mia: Mistakes?

Darcy: Unless you got knocked up on purpose, in which case you’ve got even bigger issues.

(Mia pushes Darcy and Darcy falls into Nic.)

Nic: Degrassi chicks can’t stop throwing themselves at me.

(He sees Mia.)

Nic: Mia Jones. So Degrassi’s picking up all the other school’s trash now. Hey did you ever figure out who the father is?

(Mia slaps Nic and it starts a huge fight between everyone. Toby’s glasses break and JT falls down.)

JT: What’s your problem?!

(Nic pushes JT and he hits Nic with the mascot head.)

Outside the school

JT: Man two weeks detention.

Toby: I know. Now I’ve got to find a new panther mascot.

JT: What can I say? When the school needed me I pounced.

Toby: Yeah well that’s great, but now who’s going to entertain the fans?

(JT looks at Toby and shrugs.)

Toby: Don’t even think about it.

Nic: Hey Degrassi nerds. If I were you, I’d sleep with one eye open. This isn’t over.

(He shakes the fence and Toby flinches.)

JT: Detention never sounded so good.

In the foyer

Ashley: Forfeiting, not the same as losing.

Jimmy: Sure. Whatever.

Ashley: You going home? ‘Cause we still have that media immersion assignment. We could just hang out. Do some homework. No lingerie, no pills, no pressure.

Jimmy: You know what? Come over tonight and get your stuff. I can’t do this.

At Darcy’s locker

Manny: Mia’s in with Ms. H getting lectured. I hope you’re happy.

Darcy: She’s a teenage mother Manny, with a violent streak.

Manny: And somehow you have the right to punish her?

Darcy: She has better things to do than wave pom poms.

Manny: And you’re just so concerned for her daughter. Spare me.

(Darcy walks away as Mia walks over.)

Mia: I’m off the squad. Problem solved.

Manny: Well then I quit.

Mia: And let mean girl take over? Don’t be stupid. They need you.

At Jimmy’s house

(Ashley walks in and hands Jimmy a CD player.)

Ashley: This is yours.

Jimmy: You know what? You can keep it. I don’t want it.

Ashley: Thought you wanted to break up.

Jimmy: I don’t. We just may as well do it now. It’s gonna happen eventually.

Ashley: Why would you say that? What, did you get your palm read? Tarot cards?

Jimmy: Look if I can’t do this, how long you really gonna stick around? 6 months, a year?

Ashley: Why do guys always think about one thing?

Jimmy: I’m thinking about a lot of things. What if I can’t, ever?

Ashley: Then we deal with it. Who cares?

Jimmy: I care Ashley. I’m a virgin. Do you get it? Do you know what it feels like to know that your epitaph is gonna read ‘Jimmy Brooks: crippled virgin’? I mean I can’t walk. I can’t run. I can’t dance. I can’t play basketball. I can’t even…I can’t even make love to you.

Ashley: But you can Jimmy. You can.

Jimmy: No I can’t.

Ashley: Says who? Who says sex has to be just one thing? Jimmy, there are a lot of ways to make love.

Jimmy: I know Ash. I know, but this isn’t just about sex. This is about whether I can do all the things that I want to do. This is about whether I can be the man that I want to be.

Ashley: You’re the man that I want you to be Jimmy. Isn’t that enough?

(They lean towards each other so their foreheads touch.)

Jimmy: Yeah.