05x08 - Dear Diary

[bunniefuu]

I am in this class.

That's impossible. It's full.

I was just added.

Previously on
"A Million Little Things"...

Is this the beach where
I asked you to homecoming?

Greta Strobe, will you marry me?

Of course. Yes.

Rome?

What are you doing here?

I gotta get you and your
brother to hockey practice.

I wanna talk to the coach
about playing Omar more.

Him living here isn't working, Gina.

Maybe we think about putting
him in assisted living.

I've been trying to make
up for what happened.

And what I'm saying
is you don't have to.

You know, a lot of women decide

they want to stay at home
rather than come back to work.

But I'm coming back.

I will treat your show with care,

and it will be waiting for
you whenever you're ready.

- [JAVI CRYING]
- You don't have to cry. Oh. Okay.

- [COLIN BARKS]
- Okay, shh, shh.

You're okay.

Good job, bud.

Yeah, I'm just testing
your guard-dog skills.

So if the alarm goes off
while I'm gone, do that.

Uh, so, he'll probably
want to go down for his nap

after he has breakfast,

but, uh, don't let him fall
asleep while he's eating.

We're trying not to do that.

Ooh, but, Mommy,
don't pull my tabs so tight.

You'll cut off my circulation.

[CHUCKLES] He's fine.

Any looser and it'll leak.

Uh, okay, so I'll be at the station

which is just minutes away.

Honey, look at these hips.

This is not my first rodeo. [CHUCKLES]

And I brought us a secret w*apon.

Ah, uh, we're not using pacifiers.

Why not?

They lead to buck teeth,
which leads to headgear,

and that is a middle school trauma

I don't want to share with my son.

[BABY VOICE] But, Mommy, it soothes me.

I understand, Inez.

But we've chosen not to use them.

[CRYING CONTINUES]

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

Tía Inez, I forgot how much

I love your cottage
cheese mashed potatoes.

[NORMAL VOICE] Thank you.
I'll get you the recipe.

Okay. And I will give that to Gary

so that he can make them for himself.

[LAUGHTER]

Maggie, do you think you could grab me

the portable charger for my toothbrush

while Javi and I show Tía Inez

where the bottle warmers are?

I'm on it.

Thank you.

JESSICA: I understand
you're confused, Amy,

so let's try to break it down.

You said your husband keeps
telling you he needs space.

AMY: Yeah, Dr. Jessica.

I just don't know what that means.

It's 'cause you are not listening.

Well, I think his
meaning's pretty clear.

The question is, are you gonna listen?

- Exactly.
- Let's do a quick commercial,

and we'll be right back.

MAN: I was lost, confused, at sea.

I tried everything from "A" to "Z."

And that's when I found Zyrellin.

Zyrellin?

WOMAN: Zyrellin.

Everything you need, from the earth,

to feel balanced and whole.

Note to self... Order
Maggie some Zyrellin.

Ha-ha, very funny.

I cannot believe we are advertising

that pseudo-scientific junk.

Add that to the list of things

to talk to Colton Cutler about.

Uh...

Maybe I should take another week.

I'm not sure Inez can handle this.

And I'm not sure I can
handle her creepy baby voice.

- [BAG ZIPS]
- [SIGHS]

Just give her a chance, okay?

See how it goes while I'm gone.

If it doesn't work
out, we can still spend

tens of thousands of dollars on daycare.

Hmm.

Well, have fun at your
insurance conference

that you've never gone
to since I've known you.

I promise not to have
fun at the conference.

Mm-hmm.

But I will have fun
sleeping through the night

at a hotel in a king-sized bed.

INEZ: [BABY VOICE] Bye-bye, Daddy.

I'll miss you.

[SMACKS LIPS]

The voice.

Heads up.

[SIGHS] The wild Greta exhibits adorable

but deeply unrelatable levels
of excitement to see her parents.

Aren't you excited to see them again?

Uh, yeah.

But what if they still hate me

after everything that
happened in high school?

Well, first off, they never hated you.

Hating a child would be weird.

However they felt
about you years ago,

I promise you they're over it.

Ah. So you admit they hated me?

I plead the fifth.

Uh, are you opening
a Yankee Candle franchise?

I found the Autumn Sunset
candle your mom used to like.

How do you even remember that?

Because she had them everywhere,

and it didn't make any sense.

Like, sunset doesn't have a smell.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, why are you bringing
a chunky sweater?

It's June.

Every year we take the same
photo for our holiday card.

Oh, that's right.

[CHUCKLES]

See, that is the wild
and wacky mashugana

you can expect from a weekend
with Lon and Lana Strobe.

You got nothing to worry about.

Perfect weekend starts right now.

[SIGHS]

Okay, Dad's getting dressed.

And I made him his favorite fruit salad

without the cheap melon
space fillers he hates.

I hope it's enough,
but he's in a good mood,

so I think this is the
best we're gonna get.

I know it's hard,

but your dad knows
that he's getting worse.

And he needs you to
decide what's best for him.

Yeah, but who's gonna make
him not hate me when I do?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Mnh-mnh.

Omar, what are y...
W-what are you doing here?

Why am I hearing from Cousin Jackie

that you're putting Dad in a home?

Mm.

This garlic aioli should
be a controlled substance.

Schedule V at least,

over-the-counter
with a warning label.

Alright, show off, you know your stuff.

But garlic is a pretty bold choice

before an oral presentation.

I was hoping to
discourage Professor Craft

from asking any tough
follow-up questions.

Oh.

She still giving you a hard time?

We're making progress.

Last week, instead of glaring atme,

she just looked right through me.

Well, I think you're gonna do great.

Well, I sort of have to.

This presentation is % of my grade.

Mm. Just pretend that
you're back in front

of a stadium crowd at The Garden.

It's one thing to fake your way

through some power
chords while hammered,

it's quite another to fake
your way through this stuff.

But promise me no matter what happens,

you do not Ferris Bueller my grade.

Well, I would,

but it looks like you've
been absent nine times.

Nine times?

- STUDENT: Hi, Professor Craft.
- Nine times.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[SIGHS] Oh, man.

Hey, great show today.

What was that you said,

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt"?

That's so funny.

[CHUCKLES] Thanks.

Uh, Colton, I wanted to talk to you

about those commercials for Zyrellin.

I thought you said we were gonna look

for different sponsorships.

Oh, I am. Yeah. Ad sales takes time.

I just...

I just don't think it's appropriate

for a show about mental health

to advertise supplements

claiming to alleviate depression.

Well, they say my energy drink

is supposed to give me wings,

but I have yet to fly outta here.

Colton.

I'm serious.

Then I will be, too.

I'll take care of the advertising.

You handle the advice.

Well, The Lons' lawn is
looking as brown as ever.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

Relax, you totally got this.

Hope you're right about
them not hating kids

since I am one now.

[LUGGAGE WHEELS CLATTER]

It's fine. Just go right in.

We're home!

You!

You gotta lotta nerve coming back here.

Mr. Strobe, I am so sorry...

LANA: Lon, stop it!

I told you not to do a Lando.

[CHUCKLES] I pulled a Calrissian.

- And she totally bought it.
- Oh.

[AS LANDO CALRISSIAN]
I'm the administrator

of this facility, and
I see you're a fan.

[CHUCKLES] Dad, can you
not scare my fiancée

in the first five minutes?

Did Greta tell you I used
to tread the boards?

I was in "Pippin." Yeah.

A high school production,

even though I was only in the th grade.

KATHERINE: Wow.

- LANA: Look at you.
- Aww.

All grown up and more
beautiful than ever.

That's right.

It's great to see you,
Mr. and Mrs. Strobe.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's Lon and Lana, huh?

Now bring it in. Everybody.

Here we go.

Oh, hi.

It's hard to believe it's been weeks.

It just flew by.

Ye... Yeah.

Um, anyway, I was thinking

that we could move the team
meeting to before my show

so that I could be home
for Javi's bedtime.

Hm. Well, actually, I think
I can help you out there.

Dr. Jessica is gonna
stay in the weekday slot

and we're gonna move your show

to a full block on Saturday mornings.

Y-You're taking my show away

because I went on maternity leave?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no.

I'm just changing your time slot.

Dr. J is doing great in the ratings,

and you're gonna do great
on the weekends, too.

This was your plan all along, wasn't it?

You just wanted somebody in my slot

who would do whatever you tell them.

Okay.

[SIGHS]

Nobody's forcing you
to do anything here.

As I've always said,
I support your choices.

We'd love to have you back,

but if you don't want to
come, that's your decision.

Maggie! How's the baby?

[INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY]

Are you okay?

Oh, spare me the act.

You promised my show
would be waiting for me

- whenever I was ready.
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

I-I don't know what you mean.

[SCOFFS] Sure you don't.

Have fun being Colton's puppet.

What I don't understand is why
I'm on a "need to know" basis.

ROME: You're not on
a need to know basis.

That would imply that if you knew,

it would make a difference.

- Rome, come on.
- No, it's true.

I called you three months ago

and I told you we were
moving Dad over here.

Where have you been?

Oh. You've been in Florida.

Dad is fine.

I've been checking with him every week.

About the latest Celtics game.

You have no idea what
we've been dealing with.

I've been busy with work.

I'm sure. Silk-screening T-shirts

is notoriously cutthroat.

I bet finding that perfect
polyester-cotton blend

- is so time-consuming...
- Rome.

It is cutthroat, actually.
And we're doing great.

That's why I'm here in Boston.

We're doing a deal for all
the merch at The Garden...

See, you're not even
in town because of him.

What's going on here?

Surprise!

Oh, I didn't realize we had company.

It's me, Pop.

Omar!

Come here, son.

Sorry.

My eyes are just a little fuzzy today.

I had no idea he had
gotten so much worse.

But still, just picturing
him in one of those homes,

all alone, confused...

I know. It sounds... bleak.

But some of these
assisted-living facilities

are actually pretty nice.

Dude, look, they got pickleball courts,

they've got seafood buffet every Friday.

Dad does love his crab.

And who are we to deny
Pop weekly shellfish?

You really think we can afford
something like this, though?

I do.

I mean, look, the housing
market's really hot right now.

Housing market? Hold up.

Don't tell me you thinking
about selling the house.

How... How else did you think
we were gonna pay for this?

You were just gonna sell our family home

right out from under me?

Without so much as a text?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

First of all,

it's Dad's home and it's his money.

But you know what? If
it makes you feel better,

go ahead, keep making it about you.

Oh, okay. Guys?

We're all on the same team here.

Yeah, same team.

Clearly, I'm riding the bench.

That's what happens when
you keep missing practice.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Mr. Saville, there's
been a change of plans.

You are up first.

Oh, uh... okay.

I thought we were doing
alphabetical order...

Well, I want to make sure you
have plenty of time to get back

to your little friend in
the registrar's office.

Did you really think I wouldn't find out

how you got into my class?

Professor Craft, I can explain.

Oh, you both can.

To the Dean.

She will be very interested to know

why one of her employees
broke the Code of Conduct.

But first, I'd like to
hear your presentation.

Alright, everybody. Let's get started.

Quiet, please.

Mr. Saville is going to dazzle us.

Alright, Mr. Saville, let's hear it.

Um, just one second.

Um... Ugh.

Okay.

My presentation is on the psychological,

um, aspects of pharmalogical...

Pharmaceutical addiction.

That's the wrong card.

KATHERINE: Oh, you were so cute.

Why are you wearing

giant men's pants over the dress?

Well, she... she had her first period

while she was trick-or-treating,

and I-I happened to
have a white button down,

so I gave her my pants

and I went as Tom Cruise
in "Risky Business."

[LAUGHTER]

O-Okay. Okay.

As much as I would love to continue

this walk down menstrual memory lane,

why don't you two tell Katherine

the story of how you met?

Oh, you are gonna love this.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Well, we, um, were both
at an avant-garde art show,

and the rest was history.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

No. Come on.

T-Tell her how it all went down.

Well, okay.

I-I used to leave work at
: on the dot every day,

but one day, for no good reason,

I decided to leave early.

I was walking across the Common

and I see a crowd of people.

They're all gathered around.

And it turns out, there
are people dressed

as sea creatures rubbing
oil all over themselves.

... one for every million barrels

that Exxon was dumping into the sea.

That was my first performance piece.

And that's when you locked eyes...

That is when I locked eyes

with the most beautiful octopus
I'd ever seen in my life.

How cute is that?

So cute.

I used to make them tell
me that story every night

before I went to bed.

They left out the scary
Exxon part until I was .

But I am just so glad that
you two found each other again.

I always felt there was a
special connection between you.

Oh.

And I always knew that
you would be a big success.

Oh. Really?

See?

Katherine was worried you
two would be holding a grudge

about what happened
between us in high school.

- Oh, honey, no.
- No.

Everyone has their own journey in life.

And you just weren't there yet.

The important thing is,

you are exactly where
you should be right now.

To the brides!

To the brides!

[CHUCKLES] Ah. L'chaim!

Alright.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

They're nice, huh?

Make a noise if you like them

better than the ankle
boots with the square toes.

Hello?

[BABY VOICE] Mommy! You're finally home!

I missed you!

How'd it go?

[NORMAL VOICE] Oh,
we've had a great time.

You know, I've been wondering

who he looks like when he smiles

and I finally realized
it's Danny DeVito!

Wait, he smiled?

Oh, yeah. A lot.

Have a look. Look.

See what I mean?

I think it's the round head.

I can't believe I missed
his first smile.

Don't worry about it. I
have plenty of pictures.

Yeah.

Uh, Inez. [SIGHS]

I told you we're not using pacifiers.

It was only for a few minutes.

And he needed some soothing.

And you said he can't feed to sleep.

You didn't listen to me.

And if this is gonna work,

you need to respect me as a mom,

which means following the routine.

And also, not using
that annoying baby voice

that makes me feel like I am invisible.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

It's fine. I-I... Yeah.

I think you should go. I
just... I need some space.

[JAVI FUSSES]

I forgot how incredible
your parents are.

[CHUCKLES]

I mean, come on, your
dad smells like Christmas.

That's his Douglas Fir aftershave.

He's been wearing it as
long as I can remember.

You know, I wonder who I'd
be if I had your parents.

My sister?

No, really.

[CHUCKLES]

I mean, just with all
that love and support.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Knowing they'd accept me no matter what.

I'd probably be a totally
different person.

Well...

I love you.

And I'm glad you're not
whatever hypothetical person

you'd be with different parents.

Okay.

No, I'll get those. You're the guest.

Well, then, let me be a great one.

LANA: Don't twist my words around.

I told you, we are not having

this conversation
until after the wedding.

Fine.

Shouldn't be a problem, you
used to "tread the boards."

I said fine!

What more do you want?

[GLASSES CLINK]

Oh! Hey, Katherine, do you remember

when I took you and Greta to Swensen's?

Y-You wanted rainbow sherbet on a cone

and... and all they
had w-w-was mint chip.

[CHUCKLES] No way.

Two scoops for me!

[ALL CHUCKLE]

[SIGHS]

Thank you.

Wait a minute.

What is this?

You're smuggling crayons out of daycare?

I have to finish Big Bird
and I broke my yellow.

Then we'll get you a new box, okay?

I'm already in enough
trouble at that institution.

[CELLPHONE RINGS LOUDLY]

It's okay, I'll turn it down.

Um, go wash up for dinner, okay?

Okay.

There you are.

Hey. I saw I just missed your call.

- How'd the presentation go?
- Not great.

I'm still toweling off the flop sweat.

What happened?

Apparently, Professor Craft
saw us together.

What's wrong with that?

She has the impression
that there's something

going on between us and
she's gonna tell the Dean

that you're the one who
got me into her class.

Oh, wow.

That's not great.

I should've never let you
take that chance for me.

I put your job on the
line. I am so sorry.

This is classic Omar.

He doesn't show up to help at all,

then shows up late

and second-guesses
every decision I make.

It's really hard to take you seriously

when I am so mesmerized
by your skin care routine.

No "thank you" for taking care of Pop,

no appreciation for what we've
been going through, nothing.

Okay, but showing up
to help in the th hour

is better than not showing
up at all, isn't it?

No, because Omar doesn't
show up just to help.

There is always an angle with him.

What do you think that is?

He doesn't care about
putting Pop in a home.

He just wants to make
sure that his inheritance

doesn't dwindle away.

Okay, hold on.

When was the last time

Omar showed up and asked for a loan?

You didn't even hear him

when he was trying to tell you

how his T-shirt business is doing great.

I'm sure he wanted to impress
his big brother with that

and you just dismissed him.

Like he's still the baby of the family.

That's because he is a baby.

Hm.

Which means you get to
be the responsible son.

What are you getting at?

I just think sometimes when
it comes to your family,

you like to be the hero,

because then you get to play the martyr.

And that works better for you

than actually having to give up control.

I don't know.

But I know I don't like you right now.

Which means you're gonna
have to be the big spoon.

Hm.

Okay.

Come here, baby spoon.

You know, I can't believe your parents

kept so much of your stuff.

I think they're
a little obsessed with me.

[CHUCKLES]

Check it out, it's my old diary.

"April , .

The night is cold and
dark, like my soul."

[CHUCKLES]

I think that must've been my emo phase.

Oh, I remember.

I mean, you and the cashier at Hot Topic

were on a first-name basis.

I wonder what Travis is up to.

What else does it say?

"I like hanging with Matt and Lucy,

but with Katherine, it's different.

She and I can always talk
about the 'real stuff.'"

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh, God, I was such a dork.

It's true, though.

We can always talk about the,
uh, "underlined" real stuff.

You know, um, I sort of
overheard your parents

fighting earlier.

Really?

- About what?
- I don't know.

I mean, it sounded really tense, though.

Kind of like a rerun of me and Eddie.

Come on.

First, you thought they
were gonna hate you,

now you think they hate each other?

Married people fight.

The Lons are fine, I promise.

They are "The Lons."

You're right. You're right.

I mean, my parents
were just so different.

I never saw them fight,

or laugh, or even touch each other.

I'm probably just looking
for stuff that's not there.

Probably.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay.

So do you want to keep
talking about our parents,

or would you like to make out

as quietly as humanly possible?

Yes, please.

Okay. Okay.

Can you smile?

- Can I see you smile? No?
- [JAVI CRYING]

Oh, come on, bud. Mama needs this.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. Okay.

JESSICA: Our next caller
is Casey from Medford.

Hi, Casey.

You're in the room with Dr. Jessica.

CASEY: Hi, Dr. J.

I lost my mom last year,

and I've been spiraling ever since.

[CRYING CONTINUES]

I've struggled on and
off with depression

and I've been on a lot
of different medications.

Okay. Alright.

But since my mom passed...

Is this what you want?

None of them have been effective.

Is this thing what you want?

I'm starting to wonder if
I'll ever feel okay again.

I'm really sorry to hear that.

[SIGHS]

Are you talking to your doctor?

I am, but I heard your ads for Zyrellin.

- Do you think that could work for me?
- Hmm.

Casey, we advertise a lot
of things on this station.

And I can't personally
vouch for all of them.

But it sounds like...
Like it could help.

Do you think it's worth a try?

No.

No.

Zyrellin is basically just
your run-of-the-mill vitamins.

There's no research that shows
that it helps with depression.

Then why are you advertising it?

That's an excellent question.

But I don't handle the advertising here.

I handle the advice.

And my advice is...
Don't waste your money.

Oh-ho-ho!

Mama was wrong about her.

[LAUGHS] You like that?

You like Mama being wrong?

Yeah? [LAUGHING] Yeah?

Oh, well, that's great 'cause
it happens all the time.

It happens all the time.

Please, keep talking to your doctor...

Yeah...

Oh, thank you.

This has been "In the
Room with Dr. Jessica."

And as always, remember
to be kind to yourself.

- Hey.
- Oh, let me guess.

You want to see me in your office?

Professor.

What's this?

It's my drop form.

Guess you were right all along.

So I just finished teaching a lecture

on "anchoring bias."

Now, I know it's been a minute
since you took Psych ,

but do you remember what that is?

It's a cognitive bias
that causes one to rely

too heavily on the first
piece of information

that they are given
about a topic or a person.

Yes. And it is what's clouded
my perspective on you

ever since that first
day you came into my class

with no explanation.

All I was able to see
is someone who thinks

the rules don't apply to him.

Nicole came to see me yesterday.

She did?

She told me everything.

Everything?

And now I understand why you
couldn't tell me the truth.

And I have to say, I
was wrong about you.

How could you do that for somebody?

Nicole deserved a second chance.

Everybody does.

You know, I studied psychology

because I wanted to be a therapist.

But my thesis advisor
told me I lacked empathy.

You?

[CHUCKLES]

Who would've thought?

You're studying to be a drug
and alcohol counselor, right?

That's the plan.

Let's make it happen.

Though I believe you
owe me a presentation.

Well, what about yesterday?

I'm giving you a second chance.

Now don't blow it this time.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

[JAVI COOS]

Maggie?

What are you doing here?

I owe you a huge apology.

I had all these horror
stories in my head

about women going back to
work after maternity leave

getting totally sidelined, and...

I get it.

But just so you know,

Colton didn't tell me
what his plans were.

Yeah.

I shouldn't have called you his puppet.

Well, you weren't so
far off with that part.

It wasn't until I saw
you that I realized

how much he'd been manipulating me.

So I went out in a blaze of glory.

Oh, it was so glorious.

[CELLPHONE VIBRATING]

Sorry.

Looks like you're
getting your show back.

[SIGHS]

What's going on here?

What does it look like?

You may have decided to
sell our childhood home,

but there's no way you're selling

my childhood along with it.

What are you talking about? I
wasn't gonna sell any of this.

I don't know that. I
don't know anything.

Because you don't tell me.

No, you're right. You're right.

That's why I came down here.

I should've looped you in.

And just so you know, I
don't like always being

the one having to call the sh*ts.

Whoa.

You better not be
taking Mom's cookie jar.

What?

Hey, give it back!

You're the one who broke the lid,

and I ended up having
to stay up all night

gluing it back together!

Nobody asked you.

You just did it because you wanted
to be Mommy's little prince.

Where are the boys?

Oh, they're at your place.

And I have a surprise.

I'm making Renee's famous biscuit pie.

In that case, who cares where they are?

- [CHUCKLES]
- More for me.

More for us.

They can fight over the leftovers.

Mm.

May I?

Yeah, please.

Did I hear them fighting earlier?

Was it about me?

No, no.

They're just talking things out.

They're not fighting.

Aah!

Bro.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

They always get into it
when they see each other,

like cats and dogs.

Who's what in that scenario?

TOGETHER: Rome's the cat.

- Bro, no, don't.
- OMAR: Why you hittin' yourself?

Why you hittin' yourself?

- Okay, that's not funny.
- Why you hittin' yourself?

- When I get up...
- Why you hittin' yourself?

- I'mma choke you out.
- Get up, then. Get up, then.

WALTER: You know what, though?

If I had one wish,

it'd be for my boys to get along.

And that I'm still alive
to see it when they do.

Aah! G... Aah! Aah! No!

Oh, no. Don't you... Oh, don't you dare!

No, Rome! Aah! Aah!

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING] You... You have me screaming.

[LAUGHING] What are we doing?

I'm b*ating your ass,
that's what I'm doing.

I'm literally on top of you!

I was just plotting my next move.

[LAUGHS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Why are we acting like this, bro?

[GROANS]

[LAUGHS] We are two grown ass men.

Right about that.

[LAUGHS]

You ever wish we weren't, though?

No worries, no bills.

Pop would be standing
right there saying,

[AS WALTER] "Ay, watch out.

You keep makin' your face
like that, it's gonna freeze."

[CHUCKLES] And you'd be like this,

[AS OMAR] "Oh, that's okay with me, Dad.

I don't care." [LAUGHS]

And Mom...

Mom would...

still be here.

And Pop would be okay.

[SIGHS]

He's been bailing me out my entire life.

Nobody has ever had my back like him.

And once he's gone,

it's like there's no safety net.

You feel me?

I guess that's why I've
been kind of staying away

because I just...

I just didn't want to see him like that.

I get it.

[SIGHS]

But we're gonna have to
be Pop's safety net now.

And we're gonna have to
do what's right for him.

And I'm your big brother,

so I'm always gonna have your back.

I hope you let me have yours sometimes.

[SIGHS]

I'm really gonna miss this place, man.

Yeah.

Me, too.

Oh, hey. [CLEARS THROAT]

Bumped your tire
pressure up a few ticks.

You're gonna get great
gas mileage back to Boston.

Oh, thank you.

Then I guess that's everything.

No, we haven't taken the photo.

And this...

- Ta-da!
- [LON CHUCKLES]

Is for you, Kat.

Oh.

Thank you.

A-Are you sure?

Of course we're sure.
It's a family photo.

You're family.

Alright, everyone over by the fireplace.

Dad, can I use your phone?

Yeah. You bet.

Alright, I'll just set the self-timer.

Everyone kind of, um...

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

What's this?

What's the matter, honey?

You have a new match?

Dad, why are you on a dating app?

Are you...

A-Are you cheating on Mom?

Uh, no.

No, it's not like that, honey.

LON: Not at all.

We were gonna tell you, uh, but, um,

when we found out that
you were engaged, we...

We were so happy that you're happy,

we didn't want to ruin it.

What are you saying?

Your dad and I...

are splitting up.

I don't get it.

They're best friends.

Yeah, but you heard
that's all they are now.

Okay, so... so then go
on a couple's retreat,

or buy a book about Tantric sex.

Gross. Um, I don't know.

But just... don't get divorced.

I'm so sorry.

You know, but it's like your mom said,

everyone has to go on their own journey.

Maybe this is really what they want.

Sure, now.

But what happens when they're old

and they can't get out of a chair?

Or... Oh... Oh, my God.

What if there were some
rando from the Internet?

I mean, this is... They're...

They are gonna regret this.

You know, it wasn't until I left Eddie

that I found you again.

It's just...

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

My parents were always so solid.

After Julia and I split
up, they were the reason

that I thought I could try again.

If they can't make it work,

what makes me think I can?

Listen to me.

That's not gonna be us, okay?

How can you know that?

Because we both got it wrong before.

And we're gonna get it right this time.

I promise.

Okay. [SIGHS]

Gina, if I didn't know better,

I'd think Renee made this herself.

Well, thank you, Walter.

That's very sweet of you.

Mmm.

Hey, Pop.

There's something that we
need to talk to you about.

[SIGHS]

Rome and I think it's
time to start talking about

getting you into an
assisted-living situation.

You mean like a nursing home?

No, no. N-Not...
Not like a nursing home.

We're talking about
someplace really nice

where you can still be independent

and have all the help that you need.

Those places aren't cheap.

I'm never gonna be able to pay for it.

That's why we wanted to talk
to you about the house...

What about my house?

Pop, Omar has a pretty good plan.

We're gonna rent it out.

And I'm gonna manage it.

That way, it stays in the family

and you can stay in assisted living

for as long as you need

without having to worry about anything.

It seems like you two
have this all worked out.

We do, Pop.

Okay, then.

Pass me some more of that biscuit pie.

- [EXHALES DEEPLY]
- [REGINA CHUCKLES]

Alright. Right. [CLEARS THROAT]

- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- [DOOR OPENS]

Maggie, thank you so
much for coming back in.

So I have good news.

I think we're gonna be able
to make that weekday slot work.

Really?

Yeah. You know, Dr. Jessica just...

isn't quite ready for prime time.

This has nothing to do
with the makers of Zyrellin

pulling all of their advertising
from the station?

Uh, I'll be honest with you...

Oh, that's a fun change.

I messed up.

I need you back.

Well, I will come back,
uh, with a few conditions.

First of all, I am not
advertising Zyrellin.

Not a problem.

After what Dr. Jessica said,

they want nothing to do with us.

Oh, great.

Uh, well, that leads me
to my second condition.

I'd like you to meet my new co-host.

She'll do Monday and Wednesday.

I will do Tuesday and Thursday.

And then Fridays we will
go head-to-head together.

No way. I can't put her back on
after what she said on the air.

Oh, okay.

Well, we're happy to shop our show

to all the other stations in Boston.

Yeah, I'm sure they'd jump
at the opportunity to hire

two women with such large,
established followings.

Okay. You kn... Alright.

I need to think about it.

Okay.

You think about it,

and then let us know
what you and Daddy decide.

We support your choices.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Um...

[LAUGHTER]

Are you sure about this?

Like I said, you have
given such great advice

over the last three
months from a perspective

that's different than mine,

and that is a win for everyone.

Mm-hmm.

Is that all it is?

Hm.

I missed his first real smile yesterday.

And I don't want to miss
any more of those moments.

Not if I don't have to.

Ugh. You are really good at what you do.

- No, I'm not. [CHUCKLES]
- [LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

- Listen, man...
- No, no, no.

You should've seen the look on your face

when I was about to
give you a Wet Willie.

Well, listen, fighting you was easier

- when you had hair to pull.
- Yeah, okay.

I can't believe a brother half your size

ragdolled you like that.

I didn't think I was gonna get my wish.

Hmm.

Well, guess what? It was my wish, too.

- [OMAR LAUGHS]
- ROME: You got soft, man.

- I got soft?
- You got soft, bro.

You took Tae Kwon Do at .

[LAUGHS]

I didn't say Tae Kwon Do.

I said hot yoga.

- I can't even... I can't even...
- This is wonderful.

- You got ragdolled, man.
- You feel like...

You feel like a toddler.

[JAVI GIGGLES]

I had complete silence, crisp sheets,

and yet I did not sleep at all.

The whole time I'm thinking,
"Where is my little guy?

Huh?

Screaming at an octave
reserved for harpies

summoning sailors to their doom."

- Pbht!
- [CHUCKLES]

Yeah, he did plenty of that.

Which is why I texted
Tía Inez to come over

so that I could take you to dinner.

Yeah, uh...

I don't know if we're gonna be
seeing any of her anytime soon.

I, um... I kind of went off on her.

I'm sorry.

She just came back in your
life and I messed it up.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- Inez, hi.
- Hi.

I didn't think you would come back.

We're family.

And that's what family does.

And you were right.

I should have respected what you wanted.

I have a small confession.

They have Invisalign now. You know?

So if he gets buck teeth
from sucking his thumb,

it's no big deal.

Come on in.

Alright, you. No pooping in the bath.

Thank you for staying with me tonight,

Tía Inez.

[CHUCKLES] That's very funny.

[LAUGHTER]

Hey.

Is everything okay? Where's Charlie?

Milo and Danny are showing
her "The Muppet Movie."

"The Muppet Movie" is a rite of passage.

I can't believe you're missing it.

Well, I had to tell
you that Professor Craft

gave me another sh*t at my presentation.

Oh, my God.

Really?

How did it go?

Well, she completely
disagreed with my hypothesis,

but she said it was "well-reasoned."

She gave me a "B."

A "B"? That means you passed.

That's amazing!

She told me you came to see her.

That was really risky. She
could have turned you in.

I know, but it was my secret to tell.

And, no, I didn't do
it because I felt guilty

or because I was trying
to repay you somehow.

I did it because I am your friend.

Thank you.

Now, as your friend...

I suggest we celebrate.

I have some sparkling cider.

Do you want to stay?

Yeah. I do.

[CELLPHONE VIBRATING]

Danny. Everything okay?

No. Something is really
wrong with Charlie.

What?