03x01 - The Big Game

[bunniefuu]

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[BARKS]

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JACQUELINE: Sister Bertrille has always claimed

that the most important part of our orphanage curriculum

is baseball. She says it builds character.

But until now she has never made it clear

what kind of character she was talking about.

[♪♪♪]

[KIDS YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

She's safe. She's safe.

Yeah. No, she isn't.

You can't do that. FERNANDO: It's illegal.

ARMANDO: No, it isn't. No.

You're out. Look at the rule book.

I bet you won't find it in the rule book.

RICARDO: Reverend Mother. Yes, Ricardo.

It's illegal to steal like that, isn't it?

It is illegal to steal at any time.

No, the rule book doesn't say you can't.

This rule book does. Oh, no,

we're not talking about-- You're out.

JACQUELINE: And that is one way, I suppose,

that character is built.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

BERTRILLE: All right. Now, we've been here for about an hour and half,

and all you've done is argue and complain.

Sister Bertrille, I wasn't complaining.

I was just kind of wishing my mitt was big enough

for my hand to fit into it. Well, what's more important?

That glove you can catch a ball with

or that good old do-or-die spirit?

The old do-or-die spirit.

Right. And a second ago,

Ricardo was beefing about the bat.

I just happened to mention it's cracked.

Well, it's cracked for all of us, isn't it?

We didn't let a little cr*ck get us down, huh?

No, Sister. No.

So get a little practicing in?

Gee, all we ever do is practice.

Can't we have a game with somebody?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

What are you talking about?

You're too small to even play.

Yeah?

Armando may be small,

but he's-- He's tricky.

Yeah. Sister Bertrille said when we play the game,

I'm gonna be the official pinch hitter.

Right. So why don't you tie your shoelace.

Listen, why don't we get pitching practice in?

[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

BOY : Yeah, come on. BOY : Let's go.

BOY : Hurry up now.

Boy, I hope I get to play pinch hitter

before I'm adopted.

Fernando.

One bed pillow is missing from the linen closet.

A bed pillow? A bed pillow.

Okay. Play ball.

Come on, right now.

Oh.

JACQUELINE: Sister Bertrille knew exactly how to handle the problem

of discontented children. She gave in

and arranged a game with a strong La Mar team

in nearby San Juan.

As always, with Sister Bertrille,

one complication led to another.

Hi.

Hi!

Ah. Hi.

How's everything going?

[SIGHS]

Fine. And yourself?

Fine.

What do you want?

Well, I just wanted to know

if you knew whether or not it was illegal.

What's illegal?

To use a baseball in this condition

in the major leagues.

Let me see that.

Who says this is a baseball?

Okay. I got the idea.

I'll get you a new one.

Oh. Thank you, Carlos.

And, uh...

here's the whole list.

The list of what? Of the stuff we're gonna need

to play the La Mar School Indians

on Saturday. [CHUCKLES]

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

I want you to know even if the Indians torpedo us,

we'll still pray for your soul.

Sister Bertrille, bribery will get you nowhere.

[MOUTHING WORDS]

Sister, I don't want you to pray for me.

Would you--? Sister.

Will you please stop that?

Too late. Amen.

[SIGHS]

Okay. Give me that.

Now, I wanna point out one thing.

I didn't mention it here, and I didn't have time

to get it into the prayer,

but the team also needs uniforms.

Uniforms?

Here. Goodbye.

No.

[♪♪♪]

Armando.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Did you get my picture too?

Yup. And I'm going to send it

to the nice people who are adopting you.

And will you tell them I'm the official pinch hitter?

Yes. If you tie your shoelace.

Hi, Reverend Mother.

Good morning, boys.

Reverend Mother, say hello to our big leaguers.

Well, Señor Ramirez really is a kind

and wonderful friend, isn't he?

[♪♪♪]

Oh, dear.

Oh, my.

Reverend Mother, all the sponsors are entitled

to some advertising.

I see.

Well, the opening commercial may stay.

The closing commercial must go.

Okay, team, now listen to me.

We need some signals.

Now, say Julio here gets a two-backer, right--

Sister Bertrille, excuse me, but is it true

the La Mar Indians have a girl on their team?

A girl?

I heard they have one.

You got me.

Well, anyway, Julio is safe on second,

I'm coaching on third.

Now, I want him to steal.

So I do this.

Which doesn't mean anything.

Then I do this.

[SIGHS]

Which doesn't mean anything either.

Why are doing it?

To confuse the other team.

By now they're going crazy.

Then all of a sudden, I do this.

That means take a good lead

and start for third on the next pitch.

But then if I do this,

that means forget the whole thing.

Now-- Sister Bertrille.

When do I get in some pinch hitting practice?

Oh. Later.

But first, tie your shoe. Now...

JACQUELINE: By the final afternoon before the big game,

thanks to Sister Bertrille's great spirit

and undaunted pertinacity,

the San Tanco Orphanage Team,

even though a very definite underdog,

was steamed up to win.

Hold it. Hold it now.

Fernando. Look at you.

You're choking up on the bat so much.

You gotta hold it down like this, see?

Spread your feet apart, wide. Okay.

Put your weight on this foot. Just like-- Gotta--

Okay, now-- Here, let me show you.

Get over here. I'll show you.

I'll show you what I mean.

Okay, let's have your fastball, Marcello.

Come on. Here, batter, batter, batter.

See? Now, do it right.

Well, hello.

I came to see my team,

my great coach, my great pitcher.

Fernando, show me where she start you.

[BOYS CHEERING]

No, wait a minute.

We can't afford to lose that ball.

[♪♪♪]

You know, Sister, if you ever get out of your batting slump,

you can be a great ballplayer.

Hmm.

Okay. Batter up out there.

DELGADO:Hey!

Ramirez.

Oh. Excuse me, Sister.

Okay, let's get a little hustle in this game.

All right, keep going. Come on.

CARLOS: Hello, Delgado.

What brings you here?

Curiosity.

So this is the team you're sponsoring, huh?

Uh-huh. [LAUGHS]

They're cute. I don't like the way you laugh.

[BERTRILLE WHOOPS]

How about a little bet? Just for laughs.

Why not? How much? Ten dollars.

Oh, come now. Fifty dollars?

You don't have much belief in your team.

A hundred dollars. You got a deal.

When do I get in a little pinch-hitting practice?

You're next, honey.

That peanut is your pinch-hitter?

[LAUGHS]

Mickey Mantle was also a peanut.

To show you I'm not afraid of your Mickey Mantle,

how about doubling the bet?

You are on.

[CHUCKLES]

Sister Bertrille.

I'm afraid that I have a disappointment

for your official pinch hitter.

The couple who are adopting him just called me,

and they're here in San Juan,

and they're coming to take him tomorrow, in the morning.

Oh, no, Reverend Mother.

He's just gotta play in that game.

It'll break his heart. I know,

but I don't know what I can do about it, Sister Bertrille.

Armando.

I would like to see you in my office please.

Okay, Reverend Mother.

Just as soon as I get my third strike.

CARLOS: Hey, Marcello. Oop.

Thanks.

I don't want to rub it in, Carlos,

but we have a girl on our team who can--

Excuse me. The Indians have a girl on their team?

That's right.

So what?

Show Mr. Delgado your fastball.

Vroom!

He's so fast, you can't see it.

Come on, show him.

Do they let her bat?

In the cleanup spot.

Her average is .

So what?

Show him your fastball, come on.

That's a fastball?

It looks more like a bowling ball to me.

[LAUGHS] [SARCASTICALLY] Ha-ha-ha.

I'll see you at the game tomorrow.

Fine.

Marcello, loosen up.

Just a little tight, that's all. Loosen up.

Carlos, he's really got great stuff.

He's just a little wild right now.

I can't help it. She makes me nervous.

Who? Who makes you nervous?

The girl on their team.

Well, she's not up to bat now.

But she will be.

[♪♪♪]

Marcello. Are you still awake?

Listen, will you take my word for it?

Pitching to a girl is just the same

as pitching to a boy.

But supposing I accidentally hit her

with one of my fastballs?

Well, then she walks to first, just like anyone else.

But supposing she cries?

If she cries, she's no ballplayer.

Now go to sleep.

[♪♪♪]

Armando, why aren't you in bed?

I'm not sleepy.

Sister Bertrille,

why can't I stay for the game tomorrow?

Because you and your new mother and father

have to be in Miami by tomorrow night.

He's a very important man at the university,

and they're presenting him with an honorary degree.

But what are you gonna do without a pinch hitter?

Well, it'll weaken the bench, all right,

but I guess those are the breaks.

I don't wanna weaken the bench.

The team needs me.

Yeah. They do, all right.

But so do your new mother and father.

But...

Boy.

Just as I get a uniform.

I never had a uniform before in all my life.

You never had a home before either.

But a uniform is different.

Well, I'll explain that to you,

but first will you button your pajamas?

JACQUELINE: And so the big day arrived.

Sister Bertrille had given the team the old pep talk.

Now, team, what are we gonna do?

ALL: We're gonna win!

Right! Let's get going!

[ALL CHEERING]

[♪♪♪]

Bye, Armando. That was Marcello.

BOY : So long, Armando. BOY : Goodbye.

BOY : Bye. BOY : Goodbye.

Aren't you lucky to have found

so many wonderful friends.

Sure. Lucky.

And even luckier

to have found such a wonderful mother and father.

Sure.

Luckier.

And when your father receives the honorary degree in Miami,

you'll be very proud of him.Sure.

[♪♪♪]

ANNOUNCER [OVER PA]: Attention, please.

Now pitching against Willie Davis,

Armando Escobedo.

[CROWD CHEERING]

UMPIRE: Strike!

[CROWD CHEERING]

Strike! [CHEERING]

Strike three. You're out.

ANNOUNCER: Your attention, please.

Armando Escobedo is going to give Willie Davis

a second chance.

You're out. [CROWD CHEERING]

Attention, please.

Now batting against Don Drysdale,

Armando Escobedo.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[♪♪♪]

[CHEERING CONTINUES]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

REVEREND MOTHER: Armando? Armando.

Armando.

Before the game starts,

tell Fernando to hold the bat like this.

And don't let him choke it.

Yes. I shall do that.

[♪♪♪]

Now, remember what I told you.

Don't be nervous.

I'm not nervous.

You put the glove on the other hand.

Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah. Sure.

Play ball.

Come on, muchachos!

Come on, team!

Let's clobber--

Oh. I mean, heh, let's see that old pertinacity!

The first thing we're gonna do when we get you home...

[CROWD CLAPPING]

The first thing we're gonna do when we get you home

is fit you for a fielders mitt and brand-new bat.

And even a uniform.

Thanks, but I'm quitting baseball.

I am.

I don't like childhood memories.

[♪♪♪]

[CROWD YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

UMPIRE: Ball one. [CROWD BOOING]

Oh. Please.

Thank you.

[♪♪♪]

UMPIRE: Ball two. Attaboy, Marcello.

Keep them guessing.

UMPIRE: Ball three.

Oh, no.

Señor Ramirez, have you no faith?

Faith I have.

But it is to nothing.

I know.

But wait until our team comes to bat.

Never mind her. Just close your eyes and pitch!

[♪♪♪]

UMPIRE: Awful. Go ahead. Take your pitch.

Clumsy.

REVEREND MOTHER: Umpire.

Do manners not count?

Umpire,

that girl is heckling the pitcher.

What a time to get a flat tire.

You'll love your new school, Armando.

The children learn so much.

I've been learning a lot too.

Did you know that Sister Bertrille

puts her left hand on her right shoulder.

It doesn't mean anything, but if she puts her right hand

on her other shoulder,

that doesn't mean anything either.

But if she scratches her arm, it means steal third.

But if she does this, just forget everything.

It confuses them. See?

Isn't that interesting?

Yeah.

What good is it gonna do me now?

[♪♪♪]

What are you looking at me like that for?

What do you want me to do?

Whatever you think best.

I don't know. Maybe...

Maybe you're right.

This is no way to get started.

That flat tire might be a good omen.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

UMPIRE: Strike. BOY: Go! Go! Go!

UMPIRE: You're out. Oh!

What do you mean, I'm out?

You're out.

Now, that was interference.

He's out.

[GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

You-- Uh-- You--

We shall pray for your eyesight, umpire.

JACQUELINE: And so that made two out in the ninth.

The score was Indians , the Convent San Tanco, nothing.

Fernando was about to bat, when on to the field

with his shoelace flying came...

Sister Bertrille, I'm back.

Oh, honey, how--? What happened?

My parents couldn't stand it. They said they felt like ogres.

Whatever that is.

Come on. Come on, just take off these--

[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]

Ladies and gentlemen, Armando Escobedo

batting for Fernando Arias.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CHUCKLES]

Now I've seen everything.

Let me.

Whatever you do, don't swing that bat.

Your strike zone is so low

he'll never be able to get the ball

between here and here, so crouch.

Okay. Okay.

Now, remember, don't swing the bat.

Just stand there. You'll have to walk.

Got it? Okay. Trust me.

Go.

[CROWD CLAPPING]

[♪♪♪]

Ball. [REVEREND MOTHER GASPING]

Ball two.

Ball what?

Ball two. T-W-O.

Which means ball the second.

Now, wait a second.

A coach questioning an umpire's call

can be suspended for up to six months.

I'm not questioning his call. I'm telling him.

That ball cut the corner of the plate this much.

Throw this sorehead out of the game. You're out.

Now, look, you let me do the umpiring,

you do the praying.

Now, get back to the dugout, both of you.

Play ball.

Ball three.

[CROWD CHEERS]

Strike!

Armando, don't swing that bat!

[CHUCKLES]

Strike two!

Armando, make him pitch to you.

[BAT THWACKS] CROWD: Oh!

Oh. Go to second. Go!

Armando, go! Get him.

BERTRILLE: Go. Wait.

Go! Don't go back for it! Run!

Don't go back and get it. Come on.

[ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

Slide! Slide!

UMPIRE: He's safe. [CROWD CHEERING]

We won! We won! We won!

We won?

Ooh. We won.Heh.

How do you figure that out?

It's to .

Well, don't you know a moral victory

when you see one?

We won! We won! We won! [ALL CHEERING]

[♪♪♪]

Señor Escobedo, we happen to know

that for our sakes, you gave up receiving

a very important honorary degree.

So in its place, we'd like you to have the ball

with which Armando hit our very first home run.

All I can say is that's my boy.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, I guess we should be going.

Yeah. Thank you very much, Sister.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Bye, Armando. Bye.

Bye-bye.Goodbye.

BOTH: Bye.

♪ Pertinacity Pertinacity... ♪

♪ Pertinacity Pertinacity, per-- ♪

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]