02x05 - Lay Lay Gets a Pet Pet

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat hip-hop music]

[sighs]

Another day on time, another day to shine.

Do you ever think about just keeping some
of these thoughts in your head?

-I'm just saying what everybody's feeling.
-[scoffs]

Girl, ain't nobody feeling that.

Good morning, girls.
Another day on time, another day to shine.

See? That's where you're headed.

'Ssssup?

Whoa.

Cobo, there's a snake on you!

I don't like you,
but you don't deserve to die.

Lay Lay, this is my pet snake, Octane.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew that.

Why do you have a snake at school?

There's a pet adoption fair tomorrow.

And I asked Cobo to walk around
and show off how cool it is to have a pet.

Granted, I thought it would be a cat.

But a snake is really just a cat

with a forked tongue
and cold, dead demon eyes.

Am I right?

[Lay Lay] Mm.

So pets just don't have
to be cats and dogs?

They can be scaly firehoses with teeth?

They can be pretty much anything.

A pet is any animal you love.

Then why don't we have a pet?

Why don't we have hundreds of pets?

I always wanted one.

But my parents have all these rules
about having an animal in the house.

It seems like too much responsibility
to do on my own.

You couldn't get Marky to help?

Well, he'd only agree to a pet
if it paid rent.

But I think you and I would make
great pet owners.

-Let's ask my parents when we get home.
-Yeah, let's go right now.

Um, we kind of need to go to class.

Ugh, school is always getting
in the way of stuff.

♪ ♪

[knock at door]

Aah! It's an emergency!

-What's the emergency?
-No emergency, boss.

It's just more exciting if I run in here
screaming that there is an emergency.

Get off the couch.

My mom says you have one more strike
before she bans you from the house.

[sighs] Fine. But I do have good news.

I, Scoot Scooterson,
am taking you to BoomBox

for an all-you-can-eat meal.

All I can eat?

Are you sure you can afford that?

'Cause when I eat, I eats.

My grandma's getting me a gift card.

Not to brag,
but I'm her favorite grandchild.

Aren't you her only grandchild?

Don't ruin this for me.

Okay. Wait, when do we eat?

Tomorrow, because today
my grandma's buying a motorcycle.

I'll be in the sidecar holding her teeth.

♪ ♪

Look at you guys, standing all cool.

The way you lean on that counter, Mr. A,
it's like you're in a music video.

-And, Mom, your skin looks...
-All right.

Enough with the compliments.

-What do you want?
-Uh, I...

I'm fine with more compliments.

Well, there's a pet fair at school,

so we wanted to ask if we could get a pet.

And before you say anything,
we'll make sure it's really cute.

Sadie, I thought you said having a pet
was too much responsibility.

And that was in the third grade,
when you only had to worry

about cleaning your room
and brushing your teeth.

That was so hard back then.

Do I rinse? Do I swish?

I was all confused!

But now that I'm here,

the two of us can split
the responsibilities.

Well, that'd be necessary.

We already have a business, a house,
and you three kids to look after.

Plus, I got to be on watch for this
new hat thing he's trying to pull off.

Uh, the guy at the store said
I look like Idris.

[Lay Lay] Don't worry. We've got this.

-[Sadie] Yeah. Yeah.
-[Lay Lay] Right?

You won't even notice the pet is here.

-So you gonna feed it?
-Yep.

-Walk it?
-Oh, yeah.

-Clean up its poop?
-Wait, what?

That's a part of pet ownership.

Then, yes, but Sadie
and I are splitting it / .

I take the front half, she takes the back.

Deal. Wait, what?

Fine.

And I don't want this pet
in the music room

messing around with my guitars.

They're too beautiful to risk.

That's right, and this pet would be banned
from a certain closet of mine

that shall not be named.

[whispering]
She means the secret wig closet.

We all know.

Well, as long as that's agreed on,
looks like we're getting a pet.

-[both] Yay!
-Oh, wait, h-hold on, hold on.

One last thing...

Uh, as you all may or may not be aware,

there may or may not be
a few creepy crawly animals

that may or may not completely terrify me.

So no lizards, rats, frogs,
hermit crabs, tarantulas,

or spiders of any kind.

Also, no bunnies.

Bunnies too now?

-How can you be...
-I said no bunnies!

♪ I'm Sadie's affirmation app ♪

♪ And so no matter what happens,
I got her back ♪

♪ 'Cause, see, my homey Sadie
Wished on a star ♪

♪ She said, "I wish you were real"
Now I'm as real as you are ♪

♪ And now who's coming out the app? ♪

♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

♪ Whose avatar power is to freeze? ♪

-♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪
-♪ All day, all day, it's your girl ♪

♪ That girl, that girl, that girl
That girl Lay Lay ♪

[upbeat hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

Hey, there,
potential pet-adopting student.

Can I interest you in a cat?

Aww. [chuckles]

No.

But do you have any animals around here
you'd find in a cemetery...

or a horror film?

Maybe you should just look around.

Wow, this place is amazing.

You do realize
this is the same school lobby

where you say, "This place is awful."

Nah, that place don't have roosters.

-[rooster crows]
-[Cobo] Lay Lay, Sadie.

You two here to adopt a pet?

-Octane convinced you, huh?
-[Octane hisses]

Cobo, how do you have time
to volunteer here,

work at BoomBox, own a snake,
and be on the football team?

And be a pain in my butt?

Well, that one's simple,
since you're so easy to rile up.

Am not!

Lay Lay, check out this cutie.

-[kitten mews]
-Aw, come here.

[high-pitched voice]
Take me home, Lay Lay.

Take me home and love me.

Is that your kitten voice or Cardi B?

You mean, Catty B?

Oh-purr!

Okay, that was pretty good.

But you and I are an iconic duo,
which means we need an iconic pet.

And everything here is basic.

And Lay Lay don't do basic.

Your loss. I'm taking this one home, too.

That's the third cat she's adopted today.

She might need an intervention.

Well, you got nothing for us, Cobo.

I want a pet that's unique.

Well, if I find something,
I'll hit you up.

Yeah, I-I guess we'll have to wait
to get a pet.

Yeah, 'cause these guinea pigs
ain't nothing but fancy rats.

Can I adopt this little guy?

That wasn't part of the adoption fair.

He must have escaped from the cafeteria.

He's yours for $ .

[squeals] Yes!

I would have paid $ .

♪ ♪

Sadie! You're gonna regret
coming back to do homework

instead of investigating that smell
coming from the alley.

If I had to investigate every smell
with you, Lay Lay,

I'd never get home.

Well, your loss,
because I just found our new pet.

[screams]

Is that like, "Aah! Isn't she the cutest"?

No, no.

That's like, "Aah, that's not a pet!

It's a possum!"

[screams]

♪ ♪

That's a possum, Lay Lay.
We can't have a possum in the house.

This thing's a possum?

I thought this was a pointy-nosed dog
with a snake tail.

No, possums aren't pets.

Well, this one is.
And her name is Lil Snouty.

-Now, come on, pet her.
-No way.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Lay Lay laughs]
See, I told you she was hilarious.

Sadie, you are embarrassing me.

I spent the whole way over here
telling Lil Snouty how great you are.

Now be great and pet her.

Oh...

[breathes deeply]

Okay. I'll admit she's pretty cute.

See? She likes you.

[sniffs and coughs]

Uh-oh. Do you think you're allergic?

Allergic, me, what? I would never.

What's allergic?

Well, when you're around something
you're allergic to,

you might get watery eyes or a runny nose

or basically exactly what's happening
to you right now.

I'm gonna go get a tissue.

But I want you to know it has nothing
to do with what you just said.

I mean, it's impossible
I'm allergic to Lil Snouty.

She's already on my list
of favorite people.

It goes Sadie, Lil Snouty,
Lizzo, your mom and dad.

And then Marky's all the way down here.

Okay. I guess we found our pet.

Yes, Sadie! Thank you.

But our pet is a wild animal,

which means that we need
to keep Lil Snouty a secret

from Mom and Dad until she's trained.

That's easy.
I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

[chuckles]

Where Lil Snouty at?

Where could this possum possibly be?

We've looked everywhere.

That Lil Snouty's just so talented,
even at hiding.

-[guitar clatters]
-Oh, no!

Lil Snouty's in the music room. Go!

[Trish] Hey.

-Did you girls hear that?
-It came from the kitchen.

Yeah, it sounded like a blender
got knocked into a pan

and then ping!

Really? I thought it came
from the music room.

[Sadie] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It was a pan ping for sure.

-In the kitchen.
-[Lay Lay] Yes.

I'm gonna go check the music room.

Mom, when was the last time
we really saw each other?

Uh, right now.

It's nice, isn't it?

You girls really do need a pet.

You're getting weird just the two of you.

Yep, thanks. Working on it.

[Lay Lay groans, snaps fingers]

[Sadie] Possums must be like goats.
You can't freeze them!

Lil Snouty's got one of my mom's wigs.

[scoffs] You went in the music room
and the wig closet?

Why don't you listen?

[Sadie] Oh, no, get her! Go, go, go.
Get her!

-[Lay Lay] She's so fast!
-[Sadie] No, you're just slow.

[pans clattering]

Right...right there.
Get it, get it, get it.

Okay, come on, come on, come on.

Okay, I'm gonna go check
the music room now.

-[both] Mm-hmm.
-All right, have fun.

-I feel closer to you than ever.
-Mm-hmm.

Sadie, you're freaking me out.

That was way too close.

-[Lay Lay] Ooh.
-[Sadie] Quick.

♪ ♪

-[Scoot slurping]
-[Marky sighs]

Now, that was a feast for kings.

And two bad bros from Cleveland.

I'm impressed you guys finished all that.

Now you got to pay for it.

Little does he know,
we don't have to pay for nothing,

because my grandma loves me the most.

Wait, that's a gift card for Pasta Palace.

It's so cool how shiny it is, huh, boss?

Scoot, we can't use
a Pasta Palace gift card

at BoomBox Burger.

It's fine, man. It never expires.

It's the wrong restaurant.

We can't pay with this.

And all my money is tied up
in the stork market.

You mean the stock market?

No.

I invested in a bird sanctuary.

You boys ready to pay?
I got people waiting on this couch.

Uh, we may need another minute.

Unless you are ordering more food,
your minutes are up.

Then we'll take
another round of everything.

I am the owner, not your waiter.

But that is a huge order.

Coming up.

You just doubled our order!

Do you know what happens if we don't pay?

I'm not really a "fully understand the
consequences of my actions" kind of guy.

The last time someone
couldn't pay their bill here,

Woody had them cleaning
the grease vats for a month!

"Grease vats"? Sweet.

I've been in that grease vat.

Trust me, it is not
as much fun as it sounds.

♪ ♪

-[door closes]
-[Sadie] Oh.

Hey, how'd you get that collar
around Lil Snouty?

She let me do it. She understands fashion.

Well, we might have to keep her
in the yard.

Lil Snouty's already done
every single thing my parents said not to.

She's better at a to-do list than I am.

You hear that, Lil Snouty?

You're even smarter
than you are beautiful.

[sniffs]

Mm, do you have a tissue?
My nose is really itchy.

[sneezes]

Um, what just happened?

Did you just teleport?

Tele-who?

Teleport, like on Star Trek.

Star Trek?

So now you want to explain
two things to me?

It means you can move anywhere instantly.

Teleportation
is the coolest superpower there is.

You told me invisibility was
the coolest superpower there is.

Well, that was before you teleported.

I thought you had peaked.

Well, now we need
to figure out what makes me...

[sneezes]

...teleport.

Sweet James Brown.

It's happening when you sneeze.

Lay Lay, you're definitely allergic
to possums.

No, I love Lil Snouty.

I can't be allergic to possums.

[sneezes]

Lay Lay? Where'd you go?

[Lay Lay knocks on window]

So...

...I think I might be allergic to possums.

I know.
Lil Snouty turns you into Big Sneezy.

[sneezes]

As I was saying,
your sneezes make you teleport.

And you teleporting
makes my parents think,

"Hmm, maybe Lay Lay's not from Houston."

I'm sorry, Lay Lay, but I don't think
we'll be able to keep Lil Snouty.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[Sadie] I don't want to give her up,

but we don't have much of a choice.

What you're saying makes sense.

Also, I completely disagree.

Now, come here, my little pudding balloon.

You're my little dumpster baby,
aren't you?

Yes.

Uh-oh.

[sneezes]

-Whoa.
-Oh, oh, Lay Lay.

-You scared me!
-[both scream]

Uh, hi?

Why is that creature in our home?

Oh, you mean Marky, huh?

This is no time for jokes.
That is a wild animal.

And why does it have a blinged-out collar?

Ooh, glad you found
that pesky possum, Lay Lay.

Would you believe it?

Uh, this totally random animal

that's definitely not our pet

somehow crawled into our room
and right into this collar.

What are the odds?

Uh, anyway, we're gonna release it
back into the wild.

Yes. Stop talking and go do that.

Don't look at it, baby.

Those beady little bunny eyes
will steal your soul.

♪ ♪

I got it.

Everything we need to pay our bill
is here in the restaurant.

If these people have enough money
to pay for their food,

they have enough to pay for ours.

I'll go ask that guy. I like his mustache.

That's not how it works, Scoot.

We need to give these people
something worth paying for.

Oh...

I got you.

How are your waltzing skills?

Me and my grandma go every Tuesday,
so I'm really good.

We're about to beg for money.

Don't make this worse.

-What else can you do?
-Oh, baby, what can't I do?

Your portrait is ready.

Oh, let me see.

So what do you think?

Scram.

I am Marky the Mystic.

Give me a dollar,
and I will reveal your future.

Fun, but you should know I don't believe
in that kind of mumbo jumbo.

In your future, you will lose $ .

Whoa, you're good.

May I interest you in a waltz, sir?

$ a dance.

Ain't no waltzing in here.
It's breakdancing or nothing.

Scram.

All we've made is $ . and a button?

Marky, Scoot, you guys have been here
long enough to eat, digest, and eat again.

You need to pay your bill, or you'll be
working in the grease vat until you're .

Please don't send me to the grease vat.

I can't go back to that place. Send him.

He's the bozo who thought
he could pay for our meal

with a Pasta Palace gift card.

My friend here has been confused
all afternoon.

You take this, right?

Pasta Palace?

No, we don't take that.

Then you're making a big mistake, Cobo.

They got a drawbridge
that goes over a moat of marinara,

a crown of cannelloni,

and meatballs the size of your biceps.

Ooh, I like Italian food
and being treated like royalty.

Well, I just so happen to be in possession
of a Pasta Palace gift card

worth twice of what we owe here.

You cover our bill...

[snaps fingers]
...and we'll give you the card.

Mm. You've got yourself a deal.

Add their meal to my bill.

Ciao, suckers.

Arrivederci, Pasta Palace gift card.

I hope you know I loved you.

Don't tell my grandma.

Let's head home, Scoot.
It's almost time for dinner.

Like I said, when I eat, I eats.

♪ ♪

Lay Lay, I know how much
you love Lil Snouty,

but you've got to let her go.

I know it's hard, but we both know
it's the right thing to do.

Can't we just get rid
of your parents instead?

Probably not. They buy the food.

Okay, Lil Snouty, you got to go.

It's a big, beautiful world,

and it's time to find
your place out there.

Go on, get!

[sniffles, sighs]

I'm sorry, Lay Lay. I'll miss her, too.

Man, I knew
we should have just got a unicorn.

We'll find the right pet.

We just have to keep looking.

No, Sadie, it'll never happen.

I'll never have my own pet to love.

[pig snorting]

Who are you?

And will you love me forever?

Aw, I can smell how much you love me.

I-I don't think that's love.

Oh, sorry. He got ahead of me.

But I told you
I'd find you a one-of-a-kind pet.

Look, Sadie, Cobo found us
a flat-nosed, stinky dog.

Uh, thanks, Cobo. And she's kidding.

She knows that's a pig.

Whatever it is, he's perfect.

And I just thought of the perfect name.

Bacon.

I think we might need a bigger bling box.

Ooh, y'all in trouble.

-[gasps]
-[Sadie] Uh, Dad, don't freak out.

But we thought maybe
this could be our new pet.

Well, you thought right
'cause I love pigs.

Wait, you love pigs,
but you're afraid of bunnies?

I said no bunnies.

♪ ♪

I love making music for my fans,

even for myself.

♪ 'Bout to go live, yeah
Lay Lay 'bout to go live, yeah ♪

Me and my dad in the car, we were just
doing it for fun and posting it.

I'll never forget the day that it blew up.
It was an insane time.

I hear a b*at,
and I'm gonna start writing.

[person] All right, here we go.

[Lay Lay] Rapping in the studio,
I like to hear myself.

♪ If I dream it, I believe it
I'ma be it, I'ma be it ♪

♪ If I dream it, I believe it
I'ma be it ♪

There's nothing more that I love doing
than performing.

And that's life with That Girl Lay Lay.

[cheers and applause]