Myles: You're acting like I'm not in pain right now.
Viola: Y'all need some more toilet paper in there.
Myles: Hi, Mom. Waah!
We thought you was dead.
Yasmine: Principal Matthews said
Rebecca told Zuri her grandmother d*ed.
Myles: I'm gonna k*ll her. Viola: I have a better way
to punish her.
Yasmine: There's just so much to be
done around the house. [Myles sneezes]
Rebecca: Y'all don't have to lift a finger.
Myles: Aah! Rebecca: Enough!
Your mama ain't gone. Myles: Oh, I knew.
[blows nose] We all knew.
Yasmine: Tell 'em what they won.
Myles: You've both won yourselves
a -night stay in your bedroom
with Grandma.
Viola: Rub up a little higher.
Oh, that feels good.
Dylan: Ok. "Mother may I?
"May I see your face?
"Mother may I?
"Can you show me some grace?
"Where you be? Where's your heart at?
"Where you be? Where's my mom at?
"I'm all alone.
You don't even call me on the phone."
Nah, that ain't right.
"I'm all alone, and I don't even know
when you're coming home."
Charlie: That's good. Dylan: Oh!
Charlie: Is that about your mom?
Dylan: My mom? I think you heard that wrong.
I was like, ♪ I'm all alone with my money ♪
♪ And on my side, I got this fine, little honey ♪
Charlie: Oh. Are you sure?
'Cause it sounded like you said "mother" a couple of times.
Dylan: You're hearing things, my dude.
Charlie: Hey, is that your diary?
Dylan: What, this?
Nah, this is my big book of rhymes.
Charlie: 'Cause it says "diary."
Dylan: You know what? I'm tired.
Maybe I should get some sleep.
Charlie: It's fine if you have a diary.
Dylan: I know it's fine, but I don't,
so, that's fine, too.
Good night.
Charlie: It's, like, :.
[Dylan yawns] Wow. That late already?
We should probably hit it.
Sleep is so important.
Charlie: OK, but--
Dylan: Shh. Sleeping.
Charlie: It's just that rap was pretty good.
You should get it down in your dia--
Dylan: Oh!
Charlie: Your big book of rhymes.
That "mother may I?" part was--
Dylan: Oh, you like that?
Charlie: Yeah.
Dylan: Well, mother may I go to sleep, please?
Charlie: All right, all right.
Dylan: And besides,
if I was rapping about my mom,
I'd be rapping about going platinum,
so when she comes back, I can buy her
a big mansion.
Maybe a Benz.
Charlie: Oh. OK.
Dylan: 'Cause she's not gone forever.
I won't even be here much longer.
Charlie: Oh.
Dylan: But don't trip when I'm gone, little dude.
You're just gonna have to get on without me.
Charlie: Ohh-kay.
Yasmine: Boys, time for dinner.
Charlie: I'm gonna go eat dinner.
You're gonna go to...sleep?
Dylan, yawning: Yeah. I'm'a fall out.
Hit the pillow.
[pretends to snore]
And I'm gone.
Charlie: Got it. Dylan: Cool.
Dylan: ♪ There once was a kid from the city of Chi ♪
♪ Ma knew I was important, not a regular guy ♪
♪ Everybody follow me
♪ I'm'a take you on a trip, buckle up, let's go ♪
♪ I'm'a get you all a hit
♪ I'm a star, came up from a block in Chi-town ♪
♪ Living large, I'm trying to balance school and these bars ♪
♪ Came far, ain't no better feelin' ♪
♪ I tell 'em, "You're gonna love Young Dylan" ♪
♪ Young Dylan
♪ Young Dylan ♪
♪ I tell 'em, "You're gonna love Young Dylan" ♪
Yasmine: Myles! Watch what you're doing.
Myles: Good morning. Yasmine: Mm-hmm.
Myles: Doing some work?
Yasmine: Was that obvious?
Myles: Come on, baby, it's Saturday.
Let's go back to sleep or go to the desk.
Yasmine: Myles, you know I just got that big project at work.
And I have a lot to do and I'm running out of time
before the kids wake up for breakfast.
Myles: Ooh, breakfast. Yes, you should make pancakes.
Yasmine: Or... Myles: Or waffles.
Yasmine: Or you can make breakfast.
Myles: Well, yeah, mm, I'm liking that less.
Yasmine: And then maybe you can keep going
and clean up afterwards.
Myles: Ooh.
Yasmine: And then maybe
you can take care of the kids and everything
for the rest of the day while I work.
Myles: That sounds interesting.
I'm not sure I'm on board.
Yasmine: And...
Myles: And there's more.
Yasmine: And...I know you've been wanting
to go to the game with the guys.
And my boss, Mrs. Whitaker,
happened to give me her tickets
to the game tomorrow.
Myles: So you want pancakes and waffles, or...
Do you like yours with maple syrup?
Yasmine: But I'm serious.
I'll take care of everything tomorrow
if you take care of everything today.
Myles: Oh, I will. I'm gonna handle it all.
Dad of the house. I'm on top of it.
I'm so on top of it
I'm gonna need a ladder to get down.
Yasmine: Great. Thank you.
Myles: Got it, baby.
[claps hands] Yeah, um...
Yasmine: The directions are on the side of the box.
Myles: Love you. [blows kiss] Yasmine: Mm-hmm.
Myles: Ahh. Oh, hey.
Dad's doing breakfast this morning.
Let's go.
Charlie: What's wrong with Mom?
Myles: What? Nothing.
Charlie: Something has to be wrong.
Last time you cooked, we all got sick!
Myles: Well, you can't get food poisoning from pancakes.
I don't think. Or can you?
Doesn't matter.
Charlie: Kinda does!
Myles: I'm kidding.
Hey, what are you reading?
Charlie: Dylan wrote a rap about his mom.
I think he misses her.
Myles: Mm. Really? Let me see that.
Charlie, this is Dylan's diary.
Charlie: He said it was his big book of rhymes.
Myles: It says "diary" right there.
Charlie: That's what I said!
Myles: Charlie, you can't be reading
someone else's diary, all right?
Snooping through stuff like that, it's--
it's an invasion of privacy.
Charlie: Sorry.
Myles: Where's Dylan, anyway?
Charlie: He's taking a shower.
Myles: Oh. OK. Good. Well, come on.
Let's go downstairs and, you know,
go wash some eggs or something.
Charlie: Oh, boy.
Myles: Just a peek.
What? I said just a peek.
Shut up.
Charlie: A little to the left.
Myles: Boy! Dang it!
What'd I tell you about sneaking up on people?
Charlie: Nothing.
Myles: Well, I should've. Don't do it.
Charlie: Hey, isn't that Dylan's diary?
Myles: Hmm?
Charlie: That book.
Isn't it Dylan's diary?
Myles: Yes.
Charlie: What happened to respecting each other's privacy?
Myles: Well, yes, it's important, OK?
Snooping is wrong, and you shouldn't be
putting your nose in other people's business.
[Rebecca laughs]
Myles: What's so funny?
Rebecca: Oh, what you just said about not putting
your nose in other people's business.
Myles: Why is that funny?
Rebecca: I caught you reading my diary last week.
Myles: Oh, yeah, well, that's different.
Rebecca: How?
Myles: I only read the first page!
Rebecca: Yeah, because I caught you!
Myles: Well, if you would just mind your own business
and stop worrying about what I'm doing
all the dang time, huh?
Dylan: What are y'all yelling about?
Myles: Mm-hmm.
Mm. Mm-mm-mm.
Dylan: Yo, is that my diary?
Myles: Psh. No.
Rebecca: Psh. Yes.
Myles: Yes.
Dylan: What are you doing with my stuff?
Myles: Charlie gave it to me.
Charlie: Wow. Way to throw me
under the bus, Dad.
Dylan: Man, that ain't right.
Myles: All right, look.
I heard you wrote a rap about your mom
and, you know, you haven't talked about her much
since you got here, so, I was a little worried.
Dylan: She's always gone. It's none of your business.
How would you feel if I went through your diary?
Myles: Well, I don't have a diary.
Dylan: Yeah, right.
Rebecca: Look, Dylan, there's no privacy in this house,
so, just get over it.
Dylan: Excuse me?
Rebecca: I'm just saying
it's not going to change,
so, just deal with it.
Dylan: Deal with it? Rebecca: Yeah.
Dylan: Oh, I'm'a deal with it, all right.
I'm gonna find your diary.
Myles: Ha! I don't have one!
Dylan: Doesn't matter!
Myles: Kinda does!
He's not gonna find nothing.
Rebecca: Oh, I know. I've looked.
Myles: I'm sorry?
Rebecca: You must've found a good hiding spot,
is all I'm saying.
Myles: Rebecca.
Rebecca: What? All I could find
was those old magazines you keep in the garage.
Myles: Say what?
Charlie: Oh, yeah, I've seen those.
They were kind of weird. I didn't open them.
Myles: Charlie, what are you talking about?
Rebecca: Salt-n-Pepa and Lil Kim.
Myles: Those are hip-hop magazines.
Rebecca: So, you read them for the raps.
Myles: OK, OK, OK, stop, stop. Enough.
Apparently, we need to have a meeting on family privacy.
Charlie: I'll get mom. Myles: No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. Look, we don't need Mom for this, OK?
I can handle this.
Rebecca: What's wrong with Mom?
Myles: You know, just because I'm in charge
doesn't mean something's wrong with your mom.
Rebecca: Is she sick?
Did you cook for her?
Dylan: Ha! Ya busted! Ahh, ahh, aah.
Myles: They're rappers!
Dylan: What?
Myles: Nothing. Continue.
Dylan: Well, I couldn't find your diary, but
I found Rebecca's.
Rebecca: What? Give me that,
you little neb nose!
Dylan: If I can't have privacy,
no one will!
Myles: OK, stop, stop. Come here. Ooh. Ooh!
Dylan: Ok, let's get this done.
Myles: You got your mama's strength.
Dylan: "Dear diary, I found my first pimple today."
Charlie: Eww!
Rebecca: Shut up! Aah!
Dylan: "When I tried to pop it,
it turned out to be a piece of rice."
Myles: Hey!
Can we...can we all just--
Rebecca: No! We can't.
Dylan: See, uncle Myles?
This is why you can't be going through
other people's stuff.
Charlie: Should I go get Mom?
Myles: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We don't need your mom.
I told you I can handle it.
Don't you see me handling this?
Charlie: Not really.
Myles: Ahh.
Myles: Still working hard, huh?
Yasmine: Pfft. Trying.
Myles: Good. Good.
Quick question.
First, first, everything is fine.
Things are great.
Yasmine: Uhh. Oh, Lord. I'm coming.
Myles: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I want you to just have a free day
so that you can focus and take care of everything.
Yasmine: No, what you want is tomorrow off
so that you can go to the game with the guys.
Myles: Well, that, too.
Listen. So, yeah. Charlie
brought me one of Dylan's raps about his mom
and I think it's really bothering him.
Yasmine: What did it say?
Myles: It-- ♪ Check it, check it, Young Dylan ♪
♪ Uh, mother may I--
Yasmine: Baby, baby, don't. Just tell me.
Myles: Oh, sorry. My bad. Um...
I think he...
I just think he really misses her
and he feels like she abandoned him.
Yasmine: Well, it's good that he's
expressing it in his music.
Myles: Oh. Ok, good.
Yasmine: But-- Myles: Yeah, I mean, good, but...
Yasmine: It'd be better if you talked to him about it.
Tell him the truth.
Myles: That his mom ran off with some guy?
Yasmine: No!
Tell him that his mother loves him
and that he's loved by us,
Grandma, Rebecca, and Charlie.
Myles: Yeah, but I mean what if...
Yasmine: You know, I wonder if the girls
are gonna take me to the game tomorrow
since you're not gonna let me get any work done.
Myles: I'm going. I'm going.
I love you. Yasmine: Love you.
Now leave.
Myles: Yup. Got it. OK.
Yasmine: Ohh.
Myles: One more thing. Yasmine: Oh, my gosh.
Myles: OK, never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind.
Charlie: Give it back!
[Rebecca screaming] Charlie: Aah!
Myles: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, aah!
What in the world?
Rebecca: Daddy... Myles: What?
Rebecca: Charlie's diary is filled
with pictures of robots!
Myles: Rebecca, look. Stop--don't read
your brother's diary, OK?
Wait. Why is your diary
full of pictures of robots?
Charlie: It's complicated.
Myles: OK. We gonna talk about that later.
Rebecca, get down here. Come here, come here.
Look, stop reading your brother's diary.
Stop reading your sister's diary. OK?
Rebecca: Robot boy.
Charlie: Pimple face. Rebecca: Grr!
[Charlie and Rebecca growling]
Myles: OK, stop, stop, stop,
enough, enough, enough. Listen.
You both did something wrong, OK?
Luckily for you, the rules of parenting say that
both those wrongs cancel each other out.
I need you to apologize to--
Rebecca: No way! Charlie: Dad!
Myles: Apologize.
Apologize!
Rebecca: I'm sorry. Charlie: Sorry.
Myles: Now, look, I need to go talk to Dylan, all right?
Why don't you two, uh, go find
something to do outside. Please.
[sighs] Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Leave the phones.
Thank you.
[sighs] Two down...
[inhales] One to go.
[knocking on door]
Dylan: Go away, Charlie.
Myles: It's me.
Dylan: Well, I would tell you to go away,
but you'd just come in anyway.
See?
Myles: OK.
I deserve that.
Dylan: Facts.
Myles: But actually, look,
I didn't come to fight.
I came to make it up to you.
Dylan: Are you gonna un-read my diary?
Myles: Yeah. Can't do that.
Dylan: No. You can't.
Myles: Maybe this is the next best thing.
Dylan: Smooth.
Myles: Yeah. I was hoping
that'd go a little better.
Dylan: What is that?
Is that a diary?
Man, I knew you had a diary.
Myles: It's a journal.
Dylan: That's funny,
'cause it says "diary" right there.
Myles: Well, it's a journal.
Dylan: What's the difference?
Myles: Well, the difference is, uh...
"Diary" is -- letters, and--
You know what? Actually, I don't know.
Yeah? It doesn't matter.
[sighs] Look, Dylan,
all I know is this is full of
personal moments and embarrassing stories
that I would never, ever, ever, ever
want anyone else to read.
Dylan: Yeah, exactly.
Myles: Here you go.
Dylan: What?
Myles: Yeah. I read yours,
so, you can read mine.
Dylan: Wait, word?
Whoa.
Wait. Is this you in college?
Myles: Yeah. I regret this immediately. All right.
Dylan: Look at that hair.
But...you kind of pulled it off.
You got some raps in here?
Myles: Oh, those aren't raps. They're poems.
Dylan: "On Sundays, I sun gaze
"and catch sun rays.
I'm in a sun daze."
Heh. That's pretty dope.
Myles: You like my poem?
Dylan: Uncle M, this isn't no poem.
That's a rap right there. Myles: Really?
Dylan: You think I could use that Sundays sun daze thing?
Myles: For real? Dylan: Yeah.
Myles: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Knock yourself out.
Dylan, I mostly wanted to tell you that
I'm not gonna be going through your stuff anymore.
I'm sorry.
Dylan: Good. Thank you.
Myles: You also need to know that you can come to me
or your aunt Yasmine, you know,
if there's ever anything, you know,
you want to talk about.
Dylan: You know, you don't gotta worry about me.
Myles: Well, Dylan, you're part of this family now,
so, we do worry about you.
It's part of the deal.
Dylan: Look, my mom's coming back.
Myles: Yeah, yeah. Yes, I know she is.
Um, and we're not trying to replace her.
We just--we just want to give you a bridge
to get by until she does.
Dylan, we're all here for you, OK?
Dylan: Mm-hmm.
Myles: Me, your aunt Yasmine,
Charlie, Rebecca.
Dylan: Zuri.
Myles: Yeah, I gotta remember to talk to her about that.
Um...
We're good?
Dylan: We good.
Myles: So, would you say I handled this situation?
Dylan: You did aight.
Myles: Great. Now I gotta go tell
your auntie you said that.
No, I didn't pay for them.
[laughs] Where do you think
I'mma get that kind of money?
I cut a deal with Yasmine.
Yasmine said that she'll take care of the kids tomorrow
if I take care of everything today.
And today, my friend, is almost up.
Charlie: Dad! Dad!
Rebecca tried to throw porky in the toilet again.
[footsteps]
Rebecca: Because Charlie put my socks in the freezer!
Myles: Uh, what? Charlie: Because they smell!
Rebecca: So does porky!
Charlie: Uhh! Rebecca: Uhh!
Myles: Uh, reg, hold on a sec.
Kids, come here, come here.
I will give you each $ if you will
postpone this argument till tomorrow.
Rebecca: Make it each and you got yourself a deal.
Myles: You are your mother's child.
Rebecca: Thank you.
[kids giggling]
Myles: Oh.
Yeah, yeah, no, no, we're still good.