- * Once there was a captain *
* He was a serious dude *
* Well he crashed into a mountain *
* Man it lightened the mood *
* Speaking of lightening the mood *
* Speaking of thunderous joy *
* In comes Parker J, a raincloud *
* Looking for new employ *
* The beardful captain said, "Hey!" *
* The cheerful raincloud said, "Hi!" *
* They started working together *
* What a magical sight *
* The Middlemost Post, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh *
* The Middlemost Post *
* Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh *
["Deck the Halls"]
* *
- * Deck the halls with boughs of holly *
* Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la *
* *
- I can't believe it's Christmas Eve already!
You know what that makes tomorrow, right?
- I'd say it, but I--
- It's Christmas. - Uh-huh.
- Hear ye, hear ye. Last call, everyone!
If you've got a letter for Santa,
the Middlemost Post will make sure it's delivered.
[crowd chattering]
- Here you go, Parker. - Thanks, Lily.
I sure hope Santa brings you what you want.
- Fingers crossed.
- Don't forget my letter, PJC. I've been good this year.
So has Jelly. [dog barking]
- [whimpers]
Come on, Parker. We gotta get a move on.
- Hey, man. What about my letter?
- I'll try my best, Terry.
- Try?
Santa delivers gifts to the whole world, all on one night.
He doesn't "try." He does.
That's why he's the G.O.A.T.
- G.O.A.T stands for Greatest Of All Time.
- I know, Parker. I know.
"Greatest," please.
Must be hard delivering one day a year.
Try doing it every day of the year,
and then come talk to me.
- Who you talking to, Angus? - No one.
We should get back to the ship.
"You know who" is waiting for us.
- I'm so excited.
* *
Hello?
- Ho! Is that my Parker?
- Santa Claus! - [barking]
- It's all right, Angus.
He'll be gone before you know it.
Just do it for the kid.
[inhales]
- Oh, gosh, I hit some pretty impressive wind
and rain just past Elsewhere.
- Ooh.
- But it had nothing on you, Parker J.
- Aww, thanks Santa.
[door slams]
- Ho! [laughs]
Good to see ya, Gussy. - Santa.
- Hey, I hope you don't mind,
but I took a little spritz in your bathtub
just to freshen up.
You know how it goes out there when you're on the route.
- Boy, does he.
Angus gets super sweaty on deliveries and super stinky.
- Oh, that's because I work in the middle of the day, Parker,
when it's the hottest.
Not at night, when it's nice and breezy.
Are you wearing my robe?
- You bet, ha!
You know I read that it's good for the skin
to air dry after a deep soak.
Oh, I hope that's okay.
- You know what? Keep it.
- Here's your fresh clean duds, Santa.
How lucky are we,
that out of all the ships stuck on a mountain,
Santa picked ours to make his rest stop every Christmas Eve?
- Yep, so lucky.
- Okay, my fluffy little elf.
What do you have for Santa? Lay it on me.
- We have a whole bunch of Christmas wishes.
- All right, this one's from Lily.
Says she wants a new ladder.
Check the sack, Parker. How'd I do?
- Ah, you did great, Santa. Lily's gonna love it.
- Ah!
* *
Oh, don't mind me. It's only my kitchen.
Hey, did one of you guys eat my fresh guacamole?
Blitzen, I was saving that.
- Hey, Levi Alone wants Santa
to bring him an electric fence this year.
- [grunting] Cool.
- Santa, we need to talk about your reindeer--oh!
I see you've made yourself at home in my favorite chair.
Not that chair or any other chair, but my chair.
My favorite chair.
- Did you want a new chair for Christmas, Angus?
Because I can take a look
and see if there's one in Santa's bag.
- No, no, no, it's fine.
Oh, will you look at that, it's getting dark out there.
You're probably itching to get back on that route, I bet.
- But Santa just got here. Can't he stay a little longer?
Please, Angus?
- Ah, Gussy's right. Maybe I should get a move on.
Christmas morn will be here before you know it.
- Great, I'll help you pack.
- Hey, you be a good cloud now, Parker.
- Bye, Santa.
In case no one else says it,
thank you for all the wonderful joy that you,
and only you, can bring to the entire world.
- [sighs]
Okay, you be safe out there now.
Merry Christmas and all that.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
Ahh!
- Oh, my cloud.
- Oh... - Angus broke Santa!
[dramatic music]
- It was an honest mistake, Santa.
I completely forgot I waxed the deck this morning.
- It's okay, Gussy. It's okay.
You're a good boy.
I know you wouldn't mean Santa any harm.
Ow! - Wait a minute.
If Santa can't walk,
then how is Santa gonna deliver presents to Mt. Middlemost?
Lily won't get her ladder,
Ms. Pam won't get her new self-buttering toaster,
and Gordy won't get those ping-pong balls.
- It's never not funny. Aww.
- I never thought I'd see the day, but I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to go ahead and cancel Christmas.
What a waste of a perfectly good naughty and nice list.
That's just--oh, well.
- No! We ruined Christmas.
And by "we" I mean Angus. Oh, no!
[sobbing]
- Um, hold on a minute.
Just because Santa's down for the count
doesn't mean someone else can't finish his route.
Someone that, I don't know,
is pretty nifty when it comes to making deliveries.
- Santa?
- I'm talking about us, Parker. Me, you, and Russell.
- [gasps] That's a great idea, Angus.
We can save Christmas.
- Of course we can.
When it comes to delivering on this mountain,
the Middlemost Post is the greatest of all time.
- What do you think, Santa?
- I think Christmas is back, baby!
- Whoo-hoo!
- Gotta be honest, didn't think you'd be joining us, Santa.
- Got no choice here, Gussy.
Afraid the reindeer will only listen to me.
I am the one and only Santa Claus after all.
Hey, don't worry, you'll still do all the work.
I'm just here to tell you what to do.
Let's ride!
Yah!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Whee-hoo!
- Ho!
- [shrieking]
- * Happy birthday, dear mayor *
* Happy birthday to you *
- Shut up, Ryan.
We both know it's not a happy birthday.
It never is.
- I'm sorry your birthday's on Christmas, sir.
- It's not your fault, Ryan, for once.
It's that jolly red menace, Santa.
I'm tired of sharing my b-day with his giant, moon pie face.
- Oh, I agree, sir. Santa Claus is the worst.
- Oh, just once, I wish
my birthday ruined Christmas for Santa,
and not the other way around.
See how he likes it.
- Well, you still have your one birthday wish.
Blow out the candles. Give it a try.
What do you have to lose?
- Hmm, I don't know, Ryan, my dignity?
- Don't worry, sir.
I'll make sure your birthday wish comes true.
You can count on me.
Ow.
- Whee! - Ho, ho, ho!
- Ahh!
- Woo-hoo!
That was awesome. Right, Angus?
- [whimpering] Is it over?
- Reindeer flying's not for everyone, Parker.
- Are you kidding? I loved it.
Eh, the more loop-de-loops the better, I always say.
Oof.
You really gotta get that there step fixed, Santa.
Come on, kiddo.
We have packages--I mean, gifts to deliver.
- Hold on there, Gussy. I got you a little something.
- For me? Ah, geez, Santa.
You didn't have to.
A Santa suit?
- If you're gonna be Santa,
you gotta do everything Santa does.
Them's the rules. Yuletide rules.
- Angus loves rules. And he'll never break 'em.
Never.
- True, but I don't think we're the same size, Santa.
Especially in, this general area.
No offense.
- Won't know till you try it on.
- Parker, whose side are you on?
- Santa's, obvi.
- [sighs] Okay, fine.
But I'm telling ya, Santa's shaped more like a pear.
I got more of a freshly shucked corn cob bod.
Ya see, Parker? Totally different.
- Watch out. Someone's looking good.
- Wow. It's like you two are twins.
Which one of you is Santa? I can't even tell.
- Can we just deliver the gifts now?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going?
- Well, to the front door to drop off these presents.
- Santa doesn't use front doors.
Remember, Yuletide rules.
- Race you to the bottom, Angus!
- [grunting]
- How's it going, buddy?
- Fine. - Need me to pull?
- No.
- I can see if they have butter in the fridge.
- I got it, Parker.
- Shh, Angus. You'll wake everyone up.
- Oof!
- Yah, yah! Deliver away, Santa Angus.
[upbeat music]
- Ah, just like I thought. Easy.
- Here ya go.
- No thanks, Parker, I'm good.
I'll take a cookie for the road though.
- But you can't leave until you eat
all the cookies and drink all the milk.
- Kiddo, I can't eat all the cookies
and drink all the milk in every house we visit.
- How come? Santa does.
* *
- [burps] Delicious.
Can't wait for more.
- [gasps] Uh-duh-duh!
Yuletide rules, remember?
If you're gonna be Santa,
you have to do everything Santa does.
- Ah, shipwreck.
["Jingle Bells"]
* *
["Deck the Halls"]
[laughter]
* *
- Yeah! - [groans]
* *
Ahh!
- [barking]
* *
- Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
* *
- So how we doing so far, Santa?
- Well, to be honest, Parker, I'm a little worried.
- Worried?
We're doing everything that you did--
[gags] And then some.
- We're also running way behind schedule.
It's almost morning,
and there's a lot of gifts in Santa's sack.
- No, no, no, people are gonna wake up with no presents,
and they're gonna think Santa didn't care about them at all!
- Maybe if we had less rules to follow, we'd be done by now.
- [gasps] Angus.
Good little boys always follow the rules.
- You're better than that, Gussy.
- Yeah, Gussy. You're better than that.
- No, I'm not. I broke the Yuletide rules.
There, I said it. I'm a bad little boy.
Look, cookies.
- [gasps] - I stashed them.
I put one here, a chocolate chip there.
I even ditched an oatmeal raisin in you, Parker.
- Why would you do that?
- Because eating cookies and milk
is not an efficient way to make deliveries, that's why.
It's stupid, and it's a waste of time.
Ahh! - Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!
- Oof!
- In case you haven't noticed, it makes people feel good
to do something nice for someone else.
- Preach, Santa, preach.
- Good people spent time making cookies for Santa
to show their appreciation.
Imagine if they woke up on Christmas morning
and found those cookies uneaten?
- Aw, wait a minute. Hold on, pal.
How come you're walking around? I thought you were hurt.
- What? No, yeah, I am hurt.
Look, see? Ow, ow, ow!
- Aha! You hurt the other leg.
- Aw, gingersnaps.
Oh-ho-ho-ho, boy. This is just too good.
- I know how you feel about me, Gussy.
I just thought if you walked around in my boots for a night,
you might feel differently about what I do.
Maybe even learn something.
- Angus, I don't think Santa was really hurt.
I think he was faking it.
- What are you doing? - Oh, I don't know.
I'm delivering the rest of these gifts.
What does it look like I'm doing?
- Give me that.
I'll finish what I started. I always do.
- No, no, I got it.
- Let go of the sack, Santa.
- Yeah, you let go.
- No, you let go.
- Stop it. - You stop it.
- My two best, bearded buds in the whole world are--
- Right now.
- Fighting!
- Parker, buddy, we're not fighting.
We're having a little disagreement, that's all.
Right?
- Ho!
- That rat. He went down the chimney.
* *
Oof! Oh, what's going on?
- Hello, Santa.
You're just in time for Christmas Peeve.
[laughs]
- I don't get it. - Look out below!
- Angus? - Oh, hey, Ryan.
What's up with these bars? - Uh...
- [crying] - Mayor?
- I wasn't crying and eating an entire cake by myself, Ryan!
Why would you even think that?
- I would never, sir.
- You look like a puppy who just whizzed on the carpet.
Why is your face like that, Ryan?
- You see, in trying to do something good,
I accidentally did something bad.
I kidnapped Santa.
- You did what?
- Well, you wished that Santa knew what it felt like
to have Christmas ruined by your birthday,
so I set up a trap in the fireplace
and captured Santa Claus for you, sir.
There's more. Santa wasn't exactly alone.
For some reason, Angus was with him.
- You, you...
beautiful, beautiful mensch!
[both laughing]
Whoo, yay!
- Angus?
- Oof! - Parker?
- [gasps] - Is that you?
- Angus, Santa!
- Hurry, we're being held against our will.
- Untie us quick.
The sun will be up before we know it,
and if we don't get all these gifts delivered,
Christmas will be ruined!
Even more than Gussy has already ruined it.
- Hey, I'm not the one who faked an injury
just to teach some stupid lesson.
- You're right, you're the one that failed the lesson.
Parker, be a good little elf and untie Santa.
- Untie me first, Parker.
- All right, no, Santa first. Santa first.
- You should untie me first, Parker.
- I'm Santa Claus.
- I'm Angus.
- How come the kid's not untying us, Gussy?
- Parker, why aren't you untying us?
- All I wanted for Christmas this year was
for you two to finally get along.
- I got your letter, Parker. You asked for a skateboard.
- Yeah, but I'd trade that skateboard any day
to see you two become buds.
I think being stuck together is exactly what you need
to become the buds I want you to be.
- No, you can't leave me here with him.
- What about Christmas?
- Don't worry, Santa.
Russell and I will save Christmas.
Won't we, girl?
- Parker, you can't. - Sure, we can.
[grunting]
- See, kiddo? You need us.
You can't even lift Santa's sack.
- Who needs a magic Santa sack
when you have a magic Russell tummy?
Merry Christmas!
[grunts]
[both sigh]
* *
- Whoa, whee!
Whoo!
* *
[laughing]
[crash] both: Ow!
- Okay, Lily got her ladder.
Ms. Pam got her self-buttering toaster.
Terry got that sweet, sweet comb to put in his back pocket.
A few more gifts and we can put a bow on Christmas.
- [belches]
- That's not a few more gifts. That's a lot of gifts.
Like so many gifts. We have to deliver all of that?
[dramatic music]
Oh, my, Christmas Cloud.
We don't have time. It's almost morning.
Why did we ever say we could save Christmas?
- I'm just saying if you didn't wanna get caught,
then why wear a bright red suit?
It makes no sense. - [sighs]
Anything else? Now's the time, get it all out.
- I don't like your reindeer, never have.
They smell funky.
And one ate my fresh guac.
- A reindeer's gonna do what a reindeer's gonna do, Gussy.
- That's another thing.
I don't like it when you call me Gussy.
- But I've always called you Gussy,
ever since you were a kid.
- Yeah, well, I'm not a kid anymore, okay?
I'd appreciate it if you called me Angus.
- Wow, I didn't know you felt this way.
I'm sorry, Angus. I truly am.
Gee, now I feel like a total jerk-face.
- Ah, it's okay. No one's perfect.
Not even Santa, right?
- No, but I'm pretty close.
[laughs] I'm just kidding ya, Gussy.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I meant Angus.
- [laughs] That was a pretty good joke.
- What is this, a rom-com?
I thought my birthday couldn't get any worse,
but this is worse.
- But your birthday wish was to ruin Christmas
for Santa, and that's what we're doing.
- Well, that was before I knew Santa Claus was so lame.
I'd rather spend my birthday alone
than listen to another minute of these blabbering buffoons.
Worst birthday gift ever, Ryan.
Really, the pits.
- You two can go now.
- Hold on right there.
- [whimpers]
- You forgot your present.
Merry Christmas, Ryan.
- Merry Christmas, Santa. And Merry Christmas, Angus.
- Don't worry. It was just socks.
- [clears throat]
So listen, about all those things I said--
- Aw, come on. You're a good boy, Angus.
You always have been. No hard feelings.
- Thanks, Santa.
- Eh, you know what, I should get back home.
Next Christmas will be here before you know it.
- Home?
You're not gonna finish delivering presents
to the rest of the mountain?
- Oh, no, Parker's got it.
I have complete faith that that little cloud
will have no problem saving Christmas.
- I'm ruining Christmas! I'm ruining Christmas!
* *
- I think this is for you. - Is this yours?
- Aw, it's not for me.
- I think this is you. - Hey, is this somebody?
- I think this is for you.
- I'm proud of you, kiddo. You saved Christmas.
- But I messed it all up. - Hogwash.
If you messed it all up, then why is everyone so happy?
* *
- Best Christmas ever!
- They do look happy. - Merry Christmas, Parker.
This gift fell out of a tree and hit me right on the head.
- That's my bad.
- Has your name on it.
- [gasps]
It's the skateboard I asked for.
I thought Santa might've forgotten about me.
- If there's one thing I know about my big brother,
it's that he'll always deliver.
[laughs] Runs in the family.
- Yeah. Wait, Santa's your brother?
- I thought you knew that.
Eh, anyway, we should get back to the ship.
There's a bathrobe I need to wash.
* *
- Ho, ho!
[upbeat music]
* *
01x09 - Parker Saves Christmas
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Parker J. Cloud, a former raincloud, their friend Angus, and pet walrus Russell deliver mail all across Mount Middlemost.
Parker J. Cloud, a former raincloud, their friend Angus, and pet walrus Russell deliver mail all across Mount Middlemost.