01x11 - The Sleepover/The "B" Word

[bunniefuu]

- * Once there was a captain *

* He was a serious dude *

* Well, he crashed into a mountain *

* But, man, it lightened the mood *

* Speaking of lightening the mood *

* Speaking of thunderous joy *

* In comes Parker J, a raincloud *

* Looking for new employ *

* The beardful captain said, "Hey!" *

* The cheerful raincloud said, "Hi!" *

* They started working together *

* What a magical sight *

* The Middlemost Post, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh *

* The Middlemost Post *

* Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh *

[lively music playing]

* *

[wind blows]

- Hey, Angus.

Angus. Angus. Angus

Angus!

- Yes, Parker?

Angus, do you know what tonight is?

- You've only told me times.

- It's sleepover night!

- .

- Russell, you're wasting all your sleep

before the sleepover even starts!

Get up, girl! She's gonna be here any minute!

[knock on door] She's here!

Lily! - Hi.

- Gonna go show Lily our room!

- Hello, Lily. - Hi.

- This is our bedroom.

This is where Angus sleeps.

This is where Russell sleeps and snores.

Burt sleeps here.

[cheering]

And this is where I sleep.

Pretty cool, huh?

- Cool.

Where should I-- - Sleep?

Right here. It's a perfect spot!

[air whooshes]

How's that look?

- It looks cozy.

- Great!

I showed you Angus' bed, right? - Yeah.

- Right.

And Burt? - Uh-huh.

- [chuckles nervously]

[clock ticking]

[slow, steady music plays]

[thinking] Why is she just standing there?

[fly buzzes]

Oh, my cloud, she's bored already!

[tense music]

How could I be so boring!

[fly buzzes] - This is bad. This is bad.

This is really bad!

[clock ticking loudly]

* *

[out loud] Parker, could you come down here, please?

Sure thing, Angus!

I'll be right back.

[fly buzzes]

- [sighs] Okay.

"Do not build ship before putting in bottle."

Ah... [fog horn blows]

- Angus! It's an emergency!

- What happened, kiddo? Where does it hurt?

- [hyperventilating]

I'm totally blowing this sleepover!

- Parker, that is not an emergency.

- It is, too!

I don't know what I'm supposed to do on a sleepover!

I've never had one before!

I'm looking like a total noob in front of Lily!

- Well, what do you two normally do

when you get together?

- Usually I make a silly mistake,

and I go to Lily for help.

We figure it out in about minutes,

but it's never how we planned.

- Okay, then do that. - Great idea!

Uh, I think that's supposed to go inside the bottle.

- I know, Parker.

I know.

- Hi. Everything okay?

- Uh, uh...

Oh, no! Look at the mistake I made!

Lily, I need you to help me fix it.

- Okay.

All fixed.

- Parker, I forgot to tell you something.

Coming, Angus!

She's not having any fun!

I'm losing her, I can tell!

- You can tell all that from Lily, huh?

- I need your help, big guy!

I know you're super busy

building your ship in a bottle--

Wait, what happened to your ship and bottle?

- I don't want to talk about it.

- Angus, will you please help me

make a super-fun sleepover for Lily?

[high-pitched voice] Pretty please?

- Sounds to me like I have a new project.

- [panting]

[squishing]

- Okay, we got fun things on the list

that you and Lily should have a blast doing.

Now, we'll have to keep a brisk pace

to get through all of them in one night,

but I think you two are up for the challenge.

- [normal voice] Challenge accepted!

- Super-fun sleepover starts now!

- Yeah!

- First up, pillow fights!

And...go!

[both laughing]

Time! Moving on.

- What?

- Charades.

- Two words. It's a movie.

First word-- - Time!

- This ride is gonna be a blast!

Isn't it, Lily? - Total blast.

- Hit it, Angus!

[buzzer sounds]

both: Whee!

- Time.

- Whoo!

- Eight Middlemost Post,

Nine Middlemost Post,

Ten.

Ready or not, here I come--

- Time!

- I was hiding over here.

What's next?

- But-- - Time.

- I-- - Time.

- I mean-- - Time!

Time! Time! Time!

Time!

- That was awesome!

- You having fun, Lily? This is fun, right?

Most fun sleepover ever.

[chuckles] Right?

- Kind of.

- Kind of?

What kind of answer is "kind of"?

- Lily's probably been to a thousand sleepovers.

She knows fun when she sees it.

She's not seeing it, Angus!

- The night's still young, Parker.

We're gonna make Lily have fun

if it's the last thing we do!

- [sighs] - [barks]

[ball squishes]

- Hey, Russell.

Did I do something wrong

to make Parker not want to hang out with me?

It feels like we're racing through all the fun stuff

so Parker can get this sleepover...

over with.

Your silence speaks volumes, girl.

- [barks]

- If we replace the egg toss with a scary-movie marathon,

we'll optimize

the enjoyment-to-entertainment ratio by a net %.

- What if it's not enough? - It has to be enough!

[grunts]

- [gasps]

That's it.

It's so simple. [computer beeping]

The answer has been right in front of our faces

the entire time!

- Tell me.

What is it?

- We don't do one fun thing with Lily,

We do two fun things with Lily

at the same time!

- Parker...

you're a genius!

- All right, Lily.

Are you ready

for a pampered spa pirate spar night?

A roasted marshmallow piñata party?

Oh, no!

[screams]

Snow-sledding hair-braiding?

Uh-oh. Whoa!

- Parker!

- Bet you can't do this at the same time!

Trampoline biking!

Skydive chess!

Block puzzle thumb-wrestling!

Pogo fan screaming! Burgers and tacos!

[overlapping shouting]

Lily, want to put a jigsaw together with me

while hula hooping and playing lawn darts?

- If it's okay with you, Parker,

I think I'm gonna sit this one out.

- Well, is it working?

Is Lily having the time of her life?

- You remember when I asked you

if I could have a sleepover with Lily?

- Yeah?

- Why didn't you say no!

- It's okay, buddy.

We got Lily right where we want her.

- I'm calling it, big guy.

- But we've come too far! - It's over.

I have to tell Lily to expect the most boring,

tedious, dreary night of her life!

Come on, Russell. - [whining]

- I could use a little emotional support.

- Chin up, kiddo.

Chin up.

- Lily, I have some bad news

and some even worse news.

Bad news is,

I'm a horrible sleepover host.

Worse news is,

won't get any better from here on out.

If you want to go home, I wouldn't blame you.

"Dear Parker,

I went home."

Russell, she went home!

How could she?

"I know you've been wanting me to leave..."

- Ever since I first arrived.

So I thought I'd save you the trouble of asking.

I'm sorry I'm not a very fun sleepover guest.

Yours truly,

Lily.

- Oh, no!

Lily thinks it's her fault

that this sleepover was a total and epic fail!

We got to do something, Russell.

Angus!

Emergency!

[door chimes]

Lily!

- Cramp! [groans]

[pants]

- Hi. - Lily,

there's something I need to tell you.

- I already know, Parker.

I'm a boring friend that's no fun.

- No, you're the coolest friend

that's more fun than any friend ever!

- Then why were you acting so weird during the sleepover?

- It's because--

it's because...

I've never had a sleepover before.

I was nervous because you've probably been

to a kajillion sleepovers, probably, and...

I wanted to impress you.

- Parker,

I've never been to a sleepover.

- [scoffs]

Yeah, right. Good one, Lily.

- Cross my hearts,

this was my very first one.

- So then,

the only person that's ever been to a sleepover before

is Angus?

- Well, buddy,

the truth is,

old Angus has never been on a sleepover either.

- No way. - Turns out,

growing up on a ship in the middle of the ocean

makes it kind of tough to have friends.

A friend!

[sad music playing]

* *

- Angus?

- Huh?

[clears throat, laughs]

- Hey, we could have our very first sleepover

here in the store if you want.

- Really? That'd be awesome!

- Sounds like you two will have a lot of fun.

I'll just go on and get out of your way.

[sad music plays]

- I meant you too, Angus.

- Me too?

- First-time sleepover buddies!

You in or out, big guy?

- Well, I'll go grab my jam-jams!

[giggles]

[tense music]

- Did Angus just say "jam-jams"?

- That definitely happened.

[both laughing]

- Jam-jams!

[jazzy music playing]

* *

- Excellent day on the route, you two.

That was some top-notch mail delivering,

if you don't mind me saying.

- I don't mind, Angus.

- Not a single mistake was made.

We crushed it.

- And I only took one potty break,

which isn't easy when you're a cloud

and you're full of moisture. [squelches]

- I hear that.

Now, what do you say we celebrate?

[choir singing]

- [gasps]

Bubble wrap!

- Not just any bubble wrap--

vintage bubble wrap.

[sniffs]

Oh, yeah. That's a good year.

Huh?

What's this?

Parker, eyes, please.

- On it!

- Hmm.

Hmm, hmm, hmm. - What's it say?

- It's a letter of complaint

and not a kindly worded one either.

- "Your Walrus stinks."

What?

But Russell is the cleanest Walrus ever!

- Well, that's just one person's opinion, Parker.

[knock on door]

- I'll get it! [screams]

- [groans]

"Clean your pet."

"She smells."

This one just says "blech."

- Russell, doesn't smell. Do you, girl?

[sniffs]

- Oh, now you're just being dramatic, Parker.

How bad could it be?

[sniffs]

[groaning]

Pretty rank.

- Didn't we just give her a b-- - No, no, no, don't say it!

- Well, I was gonna say ba--

- [chuckles nervously]

[whispering] We can't say the B word

around Russell, remember?

If we say the B word, you know what happens.

[all chewing]

- Hey, Angus?

Are we still giving Russell a bath?

[distant scream]

- Ah, after this,

I can't wait to take a nice hot bath.

- Ooh, bats!

[horse whinnies]

- Oh, Russell.

I said bats, not baths.

If we're gonna get her to take a you-know-what,

we'll have to be stealthy.

- Like ninjas!

- Quiet ninjas.

Now, I've got a plan.

Meet me in the library.

- We have a library?

- [grunts]

- Hiyah, ya, ha!

- I call this...

- Wow.

- First, I'll turn on the bathtub faucet

while coughing, so Russell doesn't hear.

[coughs]

That'll be your cue

to find a clever way to distract Russell

and lead her to the bathroom.

Once she's there,

I'll lower from the ceiling-- - Like a ninja.

- Sure, like a ninja. [laughs]

Then, armed with Russell's favorite toy,

I'll activate it

and proceed to throw the toy into the tub.

If all goes to plan,

Russell should jump in after it!

And with that,

we'll have ourselves one clean walrus.

How's that sound?

- Sounds great!

What do you think, Russell?

- Russell?

- [howls]

- I don't think she likes the plan, Angus.

- Uh, well, there is plan B.

[upbeat music]

- Hi, everyone! Nothing to smell here!

- Except for lemon goodness!

- And who doesn't love lemon goodness?

[laughs] Not this cloud.

I think the air fresheners are really working, Angus.

- Me too, kiddo.

Me too.

- [pants]

- [coughs]

Fresheners, abort mission!

Get out! Go, go, go, go!

[yelling]

- Retreat!

[screaming]

- Hey, get back here!

Got ya.

Ow! Ooh, that smarts!

- Um, Angus?

[all coughing]

- [chokes]

[ominous music]

[elevator bell dings, all screaming]

- Oh, they're just making a big old deal about nothing.

Ow, who threw this soap?

[dramatic music]

Terry.

- Hey, man, your walrus stinks.

- Why are you walking around with a bar of soap, Terry?

- Why you walking around with a stinky walrus, cloud?

[grunts]

- [giggles]

- Oh, ow!

- There's plenty more where that came from!

Let's get 'em! [crowd cheers]

- Ah! Run for it!

[synth music]

* *

- [grunting]

[groans]

Ew, disgusting!

What is that smell?

Ryan!

- Uh, yes, Mayor? [sniffs]

[whimpers]

- I need you to jog for me, Ryan.

I'm not about to run in this stink.

You do it. - It would be my pleasure.

Um, sir, how many miles do you typically run?

- , miles.

- Really?

But you always come back so quick--

- I said , Ryan.

And I take zero water breaks!

- [panting] - Zero!

[ominous music]

- [snoring]

- Hey, Angus.

- Yes, Parker.

- We didn't exactly crush it

on our deliveries today, did we?

- No, Parker, we did not.

Now get some sleep.

[moon squeaks]

[crash]

[rooster crows]

- [coughs, gags]

- [coughs]

[gasping]

Parker, where are you?

I can't see a thing!

- Down here, Angus!

- Parker, we got to get out of here

before the stink suffocates us.

Follow me!

[both gasping, coughing]

- Uh. Angus?

You're gonna want to see this.

- Oh, no.

Russell's stink is everywhere now.

You can't even see the City of Somewhere!

It's...nowhere!

- We might have to change Mount Middlemost

to Mount Middlegross.

[snickers]

Well, Russell would've laughed.

- Speaking of...

Russell!

Will you come out here, please?

- What are you gonna do, Angus?

- Something I should've done in the first place--

give Russell a bath.

- Oh.

You said the B word!

- [whimpers] - Okay, Russell.

I'm gonna sh**t you straight.

You smell straight-up funky, girl.

Time for a nice, sudsy, soap-filled...

[slowed] Bath.

- [whimpers]

- Come on, Parker, we can't let her get away.

- Aye, aye, Captain.

Hold your breath, big guy.

This is gonna stink!

[heroic music]

[Western music]

* *

- No, my rump roast!

- [panting]

[shouts]

more miles to go!

- Russell?

Russell?

- Is it just me,

or is it eerily quiet down here?

- Hi!

[scoffs] Rude.

- Parker, I think I see Russell.

Telescope, please.

- Yep, that's her, all right.

And she's running straight towards us.

This should be easy. - Hmm.

Something's not right.

all: Take a bath! Take a bath!

Take a bath!

- We're gonna bar and lather you, Walrus!

[both scream]

[mob shouting]

- Don't worry, girl! We won't let them hurt you!

Or clean you.

- [groaning]

Yuck. I will never un-smell this.

- Hang on, Angus!

I'll get us out of here!

[engine revving]

[tires squealing]

- [yells]

[tires squeal]

* *

- They won't find us down here!

* *

[mob shouting]

[Ryan panting]

- Wash 'em to the bone.

- [screaming]

[mob shouting]

[whimpers]

[shouting continues]

[shrieks]

* *

[screams]

* *

[gasps]

- Hi, Parker.

- Lily! Oh, thank cloud.

We need your help!

- Sorry, Parker.

- [stutters]

Et tu,Lily?

Et tu?

- Step away from the Russell.

- [screams] You'll never shampoo us alive!

- Ugh. Farts.

* *

[all scream]

* *

Sorry!

* *

[tires squealing]

[suspenseful music]

I think we lost 'em!

- [gasps]

all: Take a bath! Take a bath!

Take a bath!

- We're trapped, Angus!

- End of the line, walrus.

- There's nowhere to run!

- Well, there is one other way.

* *

[all gulp]

[mob shouting]

all: Take a bath! Take a bath!

- [inhales deeply]

* *

- Together we ride!

[all screaming]

[water splashes]

- [giggling] That was fun!

- Parker, look!

- [chittering]

- She's finally taking a ba--

- Shh! Don't say it, Angus!

Don't say it!

[giggles]

[upbeat music]

[all sniff, sigh]

- I can breathe again.

[indistinct chatter]

- How'd we do, Angus?

- Real good, everyone. Thanks for the help.

Let's do it again in six months.

- You got it.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Heh, heh, heh.

Like a ninja.

[grunting]

[shouts]

Oh!