04x03 - Pipe Dreams

[bunniefuu]

My vision for this country

- Roads, rail.

- Right across Australia.

- We are in the age of infrastructure.

- The dawn of a new era.

Take this country to the 21st century.

Bucketloads of bitumen and bricks.

- Building a stronger country.

- Record spending on We're spending more than any government has ever spent.

- $44 billion.

- $75 billion.



- $100 billion.



- It's big money in anyone's language.



- This is a nation

-building budget.



- Nation

-building.



- Nation

-building.



- Nation

-building.



- Nation

-building.



- Nation

-building.



- Tony!

- Brian.



- It's so good to see you back.



- Oh, good.



- We've been so worried.



- Oh, I'm OK, Brian.



- Here, let me get this for you.



- No, no.

I'm fine, I'm fine.



- I'll get that.



- OK.

Sure.



- Just, um, ease on through.



- Yep.

OK.

We've been so worried.



- No, no, I've actually

- Here, let me get that.



- There you go.

Alright?

- Thank you, Brian.



- It's very heavy.



- Thank you very much.



- There you go, Tony.



- Thanks, Brian.



- Now, take it easy.



- Oh, I will.

Thank you very much.



- Tony, welcome back!

- Oh, thank you, Courtney.



- Thank you.



- Here, let me get that door for you.



- Oh, no, I can do it.



- No, no, no.

OK.

Sure.



- Thank you.

Oh! (LAUGHS)



- (APPLAUSE)

Thank you.

Nice to see you all.

Very nice.

Thank you.

No fuss.

Thank you.

Everyone can go back to their jobs.

Thank you.

KATIE: How are you feeling?

- Oh, fine, yep.



- Yep.

I really don't want people making a fuss.

Brian practically medevac'd me up here.

They're just relieved to see you again.



- I was only gone a week.



- We heard it was touch and go.

It was a minor arrhythmia thing.

And now I've got this monitor that connects

- Like a pacemaker?

- No, like a monitor.

Oh, in case you have a fall? No, it beeps if my heart rate goes high.



- Do you have a button? CareAlert?

- I'm not 80! Well, I've told everyone they're not to bother you this week.

Seriously, I'm fine.

I walked to work today.



- Are you not allowed to drive?

- No, no, I wanted to walk.

It's funny the things you notice.

You know the pipe in the street out the front?

- Oh, is that still leaking?

- Two months.



- Didn't we mention it to someone?

- I'll speak to Brian.



- OK, good.



- (FAINT BUZZING)



- What's that noise?

- Oh, it's your humidifier.



- After your health scare

- It wasn't a scare.

Well, your wake

-up call, we're trying to make the office a more relaxed work environment.

Yeah.

But we've still got our vending machines.



- Are you on fluid restrictions?

- Seriously, I'm fine.



- OK.

Well, you just relax.



- OK.



- I'm shutting the door.



- Please.

So.

It all stacks up? In principle.

It's a smart idea.

It'll ease congestion at the port.

Get trucks off the road.



- And all that stuff's in here?

- ALL: Yes.

That's great.

It feels solid.

But, Jim, there are a couple of things we need you to make clear.

Yeah, fire away.

Their construction time line looks a little optimistic.

I think we need at least another 12 months

- Yeah?

- 18.

18.

On top of that, if we could just walk you through Hey! Look who's back!

- Oh.



- Um, uh we'll come back to this.

So, clean bill of health? Yeah, I've just got to take it easy for a bit.

I've been told to stay out of your hair.

Just for this week, Jim.

What happened to your vending machine? Healthier choices.

Hey, Nat, thanks for holding the fort.



- Not a problem.



- I tell you what.



- I think she's onto a winner here.



- Yeah? I should take more time off.

So, Tony, did you float above your body?

- What?

- When you had your episode.



- It wasn't an episode.



- Your turn.

Was there a white light in the distance? It was a heart flutter.



- Do you reckon you crossed over?

- I felt dizzy.

That's enough, everybody.

Tony needs to rest.

Oh, I need to show something to Nat and Scott.

Come back in an hour.

Yep.

Alright.

Well, I need the whiteboard to

- I'll get that.

Yep.



- OK.



- You sit.



- Alright.

Sit! So, our original intentions, fine.

You know, lower costs, competition, dynamic markets, great.



- This is not just infrastructure?

- No, this is everything.

So, we all fall for the privatisation sugar hit.

Fine.

But then half of these companies and entities end up, down the track, in some kind of globalised profit

-minimising tax vehicle.

And if we adopt these measures Then the government fires a big sh*t across their bow, says, "Yeah, we're gonna put money in, "but we determine the financial games you play "for the next 20 or 30 years.

" So, an infrastructure charter.



- When did you come up with this?

- In hospital.

It's funny, when you get a few days of clear air, you get to thinking.



- About the meaning of life.



- About tax.

Staring into the face of the Grim Reaper.

Yep.

Um, what do you think?

- It's innovative.



- Yeah? And you'll be leaving a legacy.

For when you When I what? When the when the next generation I'm still here.

Yeah.

Treasury and Finance are in town next week.



- All of them?

- Yeah.

Well, most of them.

I reckon I can get the key guys together for about 20 minutes or so.



- And will you

- Will I what?

- Nothing.



- What?

- It won't be the whiteboard?

- What's wrong with the whiteboard? You might need to lift it a notch, Tony.

What, more coloured pens? These days you've got five minutes before people start reaching for their phones.



- Want me to look into some options?

- Not really.



- (WHIRRING)



- What? Hang on.

What's that? Katie? What is that?

- Brian's drilling.



- Yeah, no, I can hear that.

Why?

- He's moving the defibrillator.



- Not closer to me? Just to be on the safe side.

(THUMPS)

Five minutes, Tony! Is Tony free?

- Shh.

He's de

-stressing.



- What? The doctor said he needs to do it every day.

I've got all this stuff from last week.



- Do you know how long he's gonna

- I'll find out.

Tony? It's Katie.

How much longer do you plan on being mindful for?

- Five minutes.



- Maybe I'll wait.



- Is Tony almost finished?

- Five minutes.



- Uh, four and a half.



- OK, I'll wait.



- Can I have a quick word?

- Jim! He called me! Let 'em in!

- Just a couple of quick signatures.



- Sure.

Yeah.



- Grab a seat.



- Jeez, a fair bit going on up here.

Oh, It's actually more straightforward than that, yeah.



- I like this.



- Yep? Did we ever turn on that desal plant?

- Jim?

- Sorry.

So, is this what Treasury is coming in for?

- I reckon it could be a game

-changer.



- Let's hear it.

An infrastructure charter.

An enforceable financial engineering code of conduct.

Wow! I'm listening.

Oh, can you pass me a marker? So, what I Yeah, that's an EpiPen.

I've got an arrhythmia, not an allergy.

So, we target the three most common forms of corporate abuse, tax base erosion, anti

-competitive behaviour, double dipp Jim?

- Oh, keep going.



- Yep.

So, we mandate, before any deal is done, all entities have to sign on to a legally binding set of standards, so, an infrastructure charter.

Scotty?

- So, where are we at?

- What's the last thing you remember? Uh desal plant? Yep.



- It's three days.



- Yeah.



- Do we know why?

- Some kind of leak.



- What?

- A water leak.



- Apparently someone complained.



- But roadworks? I mean, it's a plumber and a spanner.

I could fix it myself.

No, Tony, you shouldn't be doing manual labour in your condition.



- I don't have a condition.



- Do you want me to get that for you? No, I'm fine! Got it.

Yeah, can open a door.

Good.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)



- So, the intermodal.



- Really? Got back from Canberra last night.

PM had the chequebook out.

Should have seen the Treasurer.

Tap and go!

- Wow.



- You said it yourself.

It's a smart way to move freight and it'll ease congestion at the port.



- And there were no issues?

- Why would there be issues?

- Well, I guess with the freight line.



- No.



- Grade separation.



- No.



- Compulsory acquisitions.



- What was that?

- It's in the report.



- What page?

- One.



- Yeah, but where exactly?

- Fourth paragraph.



- Fourth?! "Duplication will involve mandatory incursions "into designated private property boundaries, "necessitating forcible seizure and acquisitions.

"

- What does that mean?

- We'll need to knock down houses.



- What?!

- Did you not read this bit? I thought it was just legalese! It should have been highlighted, not buried away!

- Page one?!

- Fourth paragraph! It was also on the 3

-D presentation.

I was wondering what that was.

(MUZAK ON VIDEO)



- There.



- Whoa!

- And there they go.



- And no

-one noticed? Well, it just swept through.

There should've been a sound effect, like a wrecking ball or something.

So where does that leave us? Well, can we find another route? There is no other route.

To build this thing means losing houses.



- Can we go under them?

- It's a freight line!

- Over? Around?

- Jim! What's that Elon Musk Hyperloop thing? I'd better make some calls.



- Read it!

- Yes! They've got six workers down there for one pipe.



- Is that Brian?

- I think he's liaising.

Is my office a little orange? We changed the fluoros to LEDs.

It's more calming.



- Yeah, I doubt it.

How's it looking?

- Yep.

OK.

If you go through the options, it pretty much comes down to SlideRocket, Wink, Power Deck or MediaShout.



- Not PowerPoint?

- Sure.

If your dial

-up modem was still working.

I'm really after something basic.

Yeah, which is why I've gone with Power Deck.

It's user

-friendly, good interactive graphics, drag and drop.

Katie, is there actual coffee in here?

- I made it weakish.



- And is it Decaf.

I thought you might prefer it.



- I don't.



- That's your second one for today.

Katie, I'm allowed to drink coffee.

Honestly, I'm relaxed and I'm calm.



- Ah, bugger!

- Problem? Yeah, you didn't tell me your operating system was 10.

8.

I didn't know I had an operating system.

Power Deck requires 10.

9 or above.

You know what? Maybe we go back to the old whiteboard.



- No.

I can do an upgrade.

It's easy.



- That's what you said last time.



- Are you still missing those files?

- Yes.

I'll do a backup.

Straight to the cloud.



- OK.

Katie, is this milk?

- Yes.



- From cows?

- Almonds.



- Ugh.



- Ugh what? Estimated time remaining, three hours.

It's alright.

I'll try it here.

Stronger signal.



- This is when the lighting helps.



- Sure.



- RHONDA: What's it called again?

- NAT: An intermodal.

It's a way to get freight from the docks

- Mmm.

Very exciting.



- Real feather in your cap.

Well, to be fair, Tony did a lot of the early work.

Your feather, your cap.

Just FYI, the Prime Minister wants to announce it this week.

So soon? Cornerstone of his Delivering the Goods program.

I'm not sure we're ready to announce.



- What do you mean?

- Because of the houses.



- What houses?

- Have you not spoken to Jim? No.

Oh, I've got a couple of missed calls.



- We have to demolish some houses.



- What?!

- It was in the report.



- Where? Here.



- Page one.



- Down there? Talk about burying the lede! "Duplication will involve mandatory incursions into designated" Oh! In 140 characters or less.

Excuse me.

Would either of you like a slice of Tony's welcome

-back cake?

- It's not bad.



- Um

- Yes.

What is it?

- Date and chia seed.



- No, thanks.



- No, thanks.

Look, maybe we need to hold off on the announcement.

Let me make some calls.

Just say hello, I guess.



- He's meditating.



- Oh, good.

Would you mind if I got some cake?

- Yes.



- Thanks.

What am I signing? I didn't want to break your trance.

I wasn't in a trance.

Any word on my computer? Scott's downstairs.

There's a stronger Wi

-Fi signal.



- It's been all morning.



- I'll find out what's happening.

Tony.

Is now a good time?

- For?

- Talk about your presentation.

Sure.

What's with the high

-vis Oh.

I've been liaising with the site foreman about our water leak.



- Just setting up the work zone.



- There's a zone?

- It's a double carriageway, Tony.



- Right.

Yeah.

Oh, is it OK if a couple of the guys use our kitchen for lunch?

- (GROANS)



- Sort out the traffic management Are you OK? Hey, I'll get the defibrillator! Katie!

- No, I'm fine.



- Katie!

- Code red! Code red!

- I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Sorry, false alarm, folks.

Yep, sorry.

Come back here.

Yep.

He's alright, everyone.

He's alright.



- Have some coconut water.



- Oh, I've had enough.

Yeah.



- Sorry, what were we talking about?

- Your presentation.

Scott spoke to me, said you want to keep it on the down low.



- Yes.

Pretty straightforward briefing.



- Right.

Briefing.

There's no need to go over the top.



- Over the top.



- I said no need to go over the top.

Have you used a laser pointer before?

- No, why?

- Oh, OK.

We're gonna need to do a safety induction.

Lectern or lapel?

- What?

- Microphone.

Brian, it's in the boardroom.

I'm expecting eight people max.

I think I could just talk.

(GROANS)

No materials, take

-homes? Merch?

- Why would I want merch?

- Provides a button.



- Yeah?

- I've got enough to go on with here.

Anything else, we can sort out during the tech run, OK?

- Sure.



- Tony? Scott wanted me to let you know that your computer backup is now out to 16 hours, so he's trying a different floor.



- More coconut water?

- Had enough.



- We all agree it's a great project.



- NAT: Yes.



- Department's on board?

- Check.



- So, what's standing in our way?

- Currently, 12 houses.

And possibly part of a primary school.



- Oh, my God!

- It's OK.

Kids love trains.



- Not running through their classroom.



- How big a problem is it? Well, for a start, we haven't told the residents.



- We haven't told Cabinet.



- What? Keep going.

Normally with these things, there's a process of community consultation.

Let's get on with it, then.

Start consulting.

Go out, listen to people's concerns, take them on board.



- And then?

- We can start building.



- That's not how consultation works.



- Yes, it is.



- No, it's not how it's MEANT to work.



- Well, if it ain't broke.

The key is to show people we're listening.

And would this show them Let them know we want input, feedback.



- Those are just words.



- Good words.



- Engagement.



- There's another.

And will this consultation change our plans? It will shape them.

Inform them.

It's all part of having a mature debate.

If one side has no intention of conceding, then it's not a mature debate.



- Yes, it is.



- It isn't.



- It is.



- It isn't.



- It is!

- But it's not a mature debate.

Yes, it is.

And I just won! Now, let's get moving!

- Katie.



- Tony.

Where's my chair? I thought you might like to stand for a while.

I don't.

It lowers your risk of diabetes AND heart disease.



- Says who?

- The internet.

It can also improve your mood.

Mmm, not working.



- Oh, my computer!

- Just got it back from IT.

There was a bug in the new operating system.



- What?!

- Yeah, it's alright.

We've gone back to 10.

7.



- The previous system?

- Yeah.

You mean you've actually downgraded my computer? Good news is we found a version of Power Deck that's compatible with 10.

7, and it's on its way over.

Oh, the courier rang.

The street was blocked, so he's going to come back.



- (SIGHS)



- Maybe I'll try that upgrade again.



- No, I wouldn't do that.



- No problem.

I reckon it'll work.



- (ALARM BEEPS)



- No, no What? What?

- You're OK, Tony! I've got you, mate!

- Oh.

I'm fine

- I'll get the defibrillator!

- Stay with us, Tony!

- Yeah, I'm right here.



- Stay with us, Tony! Bring it in!

- Come on!

- I've got the EpiPen!

- I'm really sorry.



- No need to be sorry.

Better a false alarm than a full

-blown cardiac arrest.

That's true.

Thank you.

I've spoken with the department.

Aired your concerns.

They agree we MAY have jumped the g*n.

OK.

They propose further community consultation.

We start by handing out fact sheets, information packs, and we offer all concerned homeowners their own individual case officer.

And what will this case officer be able to do? Manage their concerns.

We also set up a hotline and a website with a dedicated 'have your say' section.



- And if people say don't build it?

- Then they've had their say.

But none of this will change our decision? We're not having this argument again.



- No, I just want to be sure.



- Oh, right.

What time is it? Oh! It's time to start consulting.

Where's Ash? Ash?

- So, what shall we tell them?

- Nothing.

We're just doing a survey.

Rhonda said to keep it general.

My name is Natalie Russell.

This is Ash De Silva.

And we are from the Nation Building Authority.



- Is this about the bins?

- No.

We're just conducting a survey of local residents.

Would you mind if we asked you a few questions?

- Uh, sure.



- Great.



- How long have you lived here?

- 26 years.

26? Wow.

And have you ever thought of moving? Why would I want to move?

- Downsizing?

- It's a one

-bedroom home.



- Upsizing?

- It is a beautiful house.

Well, thank you.

Out of interest, would it be heritage

-listed?

- I don't think so.



- Good.



- What?

- Nothing.

Um Traffic.

Big issue? A lot of heavy trucks going past these houses.

How do you feel if the government was to get rid of them? What, the trucks or the houses?

- Oh.

(LAUGHS)



- Ha ha.

Um, this is a general notification that the government is looking into general transport options in the area.

In general.

Nothing's been decided.



- About what?

- Nothing.

That that'll do.

Thank you.

Good news, Tony.

We've had three more RSVPs to your presentation.

Oh, that's good.

Katie, can I get my notes printed on different paper?

- Sure.



- What's this?

- A4.



- Maybe make it A2 or even A1.



- Can you just give us a quick level?

- Testing one, two, three

- Are you planning to turn your head?

- Yes.

We might need to think about a non

-directional mic.



- COURTNEY: Here you go, Tony.



- Thanks.



- What is it?

- It's water.



- Why is it pink?

- It's nutrient water.

Any chance of getting something from the vending machine? It is from the vending machine.

Would you prefer a peach tea? No, it's fine.

Yeah.

Good to go, Scotty? Just about.

What does "just about" mean? I'm trying to pair your computer with the screen.

Doesn't appear to be working.

Yeah, it says it's connected, then when I switch slides

- .

.

it says it's switching slides.



- Switching slides

- Nup.



- That's a mystery.



- Mmm, a mystery.



- This is where you need 10.

9.



- Nuh.



- Nothing? There is out there.



- Oh.

Look.

There it is.



- Oh, great.



- Ah, good job.



- Mystery solved.



- NAT: What are you eating?

- Date and chia slice.



- Want some?

- No.

So, it looks like no

-one wants to move.

Apart from the students at No.

7.



- I suspect they're squatters.



- (CAMERA CLICKS)



- What are you doing?

- It's for Rhonda.

Just use your phone.



- We're not spies.

sh*t!

- What?

- Down.

Down.



- Down? Down! Down, down.

No, not the window!

- No?

- Uh

-oh.



- WOMAN: Excuse me.



- Hi.



- Are you from the government?

- No.

Uh, what's "Nation Building Authority"? Uh, we're an agency that works WITH government

- Nothing's been decided.



- Is this about the freight line?

- Who told you?

- We've heard all sorts of rumours I'll give you a number to call.

Any issues or concerns, the hotline is No, not MY card.

And you're Natalie?

- Yep.



- Thank you.

So, as you can see, those techniques fall into three main categories, base erosion (WHOOSH! WHIRR!)

.

.

profit

-shifting (XYLOPHONE CHIME)

.

.

and tax havens.

(GENTLE GUITAR RIFF)



- Do we really need the sound effects?

- Gives it impact.

It sounds like a kids' cartoon.

I'm trying to find gravitas.



- KATIE: I like it, Tony.



- Do you?

- Mm

-hm.



- Where was I?

- Uh, the graph.



- Oh, yeah.

Taken as a whole, it presents a pretty damning picture.

(DUN

-DUN

-DUUUUN!)



- Gravitas.



- Yeah.

With total tax revenue loss represented by purple and potential Sorry, which one's the purple?

- Oh, uh, that one.



- What, that one?

- Oh, no, that's mauve.



- Really?

- Yeah.



- From here, it looks more magenta.



- No, that's

- Maybe if we dim the lights Yeah.

Oh, hang on, I need my notes

- (THUMP!)



- Ow!

- (ALARM BLEEPS)



- (ALL SHOUT)



- Call Triple 0!

- No, no, no.

Just a knee.



- No, just a knee.



- No, just sit! I've got the EpiPen! It's a knee.

It's a knee.

I did my knee.



- What were you thinking?

- She approached us.

I said liaise with the public.

Don't talk to them.



- Which one is she?

- Joan Meredith.

No.

5.

She's also president of the local Save Our Suburbs Action Group.



- There's an action group?

- Show me.

There.

sh*t, I just followed them.



- Sweetheart, she's trouble.



- Really? Never underestimate a retiree with Facebook skills.

What about the others? We spoke to everyone in the street, asked them hypothetically, would they be prepared to sell?

- And?

- No real takers.

Don't these people realise they're standing in the way of progress? No.

11 emailed.

He's willing to consider an offer.



- One patriotic Aussie.



- He lives in Hong Kong.



- I don't think anyone wants to move.



- Oh, it's so predictable.

Sure, we all want progress, but not in my backyard.

We're stealing their backyard.

They can't have their cake and eat it too.



- They had cake.

WE ate it.



- Sorry, whose side are you on? Guess who just started an online petition.

Oh.

I said she was trouble.



- Look how many signatures

- Don't touch it! (TONY CHUCKLES)

We're gonna have to stop you there, mate.

Oh, I work here.

That building.

NBA.

Tony Woodford.

Brian, I've got a Tony Woodley here.

Says he needs to get in.

(BRIAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)



- Rightio.



- Yep? Alright, mate.

Let's take it really easy, OK?

- OK.



- Careful, careful.

Boys?

- Can you let him through?

- OK.



- Yep? You alright?

- Oh, I'm fine.

I'm absolutely fine.

OK.



- OK.

Alright, just down this way.



- Yep.

Uh, what did Brian say?

- They don't look happy.



- JIM: You should see the PM.

This is a good news story.

State and federal governments working together.

PM wants to move the announcement forward.



- What for?

- To stick it up the Premier.

But we can't have this mob turning up, crashing our party.

No.

We need to take the heat out of this thing.



- How?

- We hold a community meeting.



- What?

- An interactive feedback session.

When you say "we" You're the one who wanted community consultation.

Our media team suggest that you focus on the number of jobs this project will generate Are you taking notes? The fact that people will no longer have trucks running past their front doors.



- They'll no longer have doors.



- This is a good one.

It's getting Australia on the move.

What does that even mean? Oh, what does anything mean? They're just talking points.

Tony, that's your third coffee for today.



- Well, it's been a long day.



- Let me make it.

Seriously, I'm fine.

I There's a platoon here.

I hope you don't mind, I let them have the rest of your chia slice.

It's one pipe.

I mean, seriously, you could shut it and ship in mineral water from Tuscany.

That reminds me, our water will be off tomorrow between 4pm and 8pm.



- Yep.

OK.



- Yeah, it's the whole street.

Is it? Yeah.

What's this? Oh.

Your speech notes.

You asked for A1.



- Yep.



- Mm

-hm.

Thanks.

(BOOING, ANGRY SHOUTING)

(SLOW CLAPPING)



- Good turnout.



- We're not doing a Fringe show.

They don't sound happy.

Do you want me to go out and try and warm them up? I don't think they need warming.



- Ohh.



- What? Twitter's gone nuts.

Some pretty nasty comments.



- About us?

- No.

More you.

Joan posted your business card.



- What? Where?!

- Right here.

sh*t.

I just retweeted it.

Sorry we're a bit late.

Had to get dropped off down the street.

Looks like you're having quite a bit of work done.

Yeah, a little bit of work done.

So, come in and sit down.

Uh, Katie will get you a tea or a coffee.



- Oh, there's no water.



- Oh.

Or a juice or a coconut water.



- Scotty, we're, um?

- All good, Brian? Alright, thanks, everyone, for making the time.

I realise everyone's on a tight schedule, but I think what I'm about to show you today represents a significant economic reform.



- Sounds exciting.



- We're all ears.

Well, I'll walk you through it.

Australia today faces a major ongoing problem, and that problem is SCOTT: Oh.

No, that's not it.

Sorry, folks.

Just a couple of gremlins in the, uh .

.

Power Deck thing that we're using.

So, once we knock this on the head, we'll, um

- .

.

we will be able to

- (WHOOSH! WHIRR!)

Ah, there we go.

So Yeah.

So, this graph represents the top 10 infrastructure investments of the last decade, and what Uh, are we able to make that a little bit bigger, Scotty?

- Uh, just trying

- (XYLOPHONE CHIME)

Yeah.

I think this is where we needed the 10.

9.



- (GENTLE GUITAR RIFF)



- No, we don't have 10.

9.

OK, well, I think You know what? Let me read it to you.

I'll give the y

-axis, pre

-tax profits, percentage of wages paid

- I'm just gonna try one more thing.



- Yep.



- (DUN

-DUN

-DUUUUN!)



- Ah.

No.

No

- MAN: Save our suburb!

- OTHERS: Yeah!

- WOMAN: Save our homes!

- Yeah! (APPLAUSE)

(SIGHS)

Well, guess there's nothing for it.



- You've got the talking points?

- Yep.

After you.

(BOOING, SLOW CLAPPING)

Sorry, folks, just waiting on Just give me a final? Yeah.

That's a no.

No? OK, alright, I'll do it from my notes.

Katie? Sorry, folks, if we just all sit down again, I'll give you a brief verbal overview and we'll get the show on the road.

You, um, didn't shrink them?

- No.



- No? That's fine.

OK, well, if you just hold them up, then, maybe, and I'll do it from here.

So, folks, I think you can all see that.

Uh, so

- (WHOOSH!)



- Oh, hang on.

Here we go.



- Oh.

Oh, great.



- Back on.



- Alright, stay there.



- Over to you, Tony.

I just want to skip the first frame, the first graph.

How do I do that?

- Just hit any button.



- Mm

-hm.

Except space bar.

OK, sorry, folks

- Hey, what's that?

- Uh, what's what? Is that some sort of irrigation project? Oh, no, it's, uh screen saver kicked in.

Whatever happened to that Riverina Basin upgrade? Oh, yeah.

Just sort of fell off the agenda.



- We should follow up on that.



- No, we should.

Sorry Yeah, we should.

I just It's just not what I want to talk about right

- Here you go.

Riverina Basin upgrade.



- Yeah, we did let that slip.

We got a long way down the track with that.



- Yeah, not that far

- How are we going, Scotty?

- Yeah

- Final You got it? SCOTT: Oh.

No, sorry, that's even worse.



- (GROANS)



- (ALARM BEEPS)



- Code red! Code red!

- KATIE: Red! I'll get the defib!

- Well done last night.



- It was a disaster.

Mission accomplished.

It showed we're willing to listen, to engage, take on feedback

- We were egged.



- .

.

in whatever form it comes.



- You stuck to the talking points.



- That's what started the eggs.

Now when we build this thing, no

-one can say they weren't consulted.

Good news, Nat.

They managed to get all the egg out of your jacket.



- Oh, great.



- But not your pants.

KATIE: Can I get you a chamomile tea? Is the water back on? Oh.

Glass of milk?

- No, thanks.

- Found the culprit! It was in HDMI 1.

Should have been in 2.

- Ah!

- Lesson learned.

And we should have gone with SlideRocket.

No, we should have gone with a whiteboard.

'Cause name one thing that that presentation achieved.

NEWS PRESENTER: The Minister travelled to Charleville to announce the irrigation scheme.

For too long, the farmers of Central Queensland have lacked a reliable water supply.