01x03 - Microphone Mayhem!

[bunniefuu]

[Mighty Eagle whistling]

♪ Camp Splinterwood ♪

♪ Our summer home ♪

[rock music playing]

♪ For catapulting, slingshotting,
Getting thrown ♪

♪ Campers rocket through the trees ♪

♪ Cannonballing where they please ♪

♪ Zipping in the air, crashing everywhere
♪

♪ Archery, dodge bird, zorb tennis
It's absurd ♪

♪ Here they come Red, Stella, b*mb
And Chuck ♪

♪ Flying fast
Look out, duck! ♪

♪ All your life you'll be glad
you had this ♪

♪ Angry Birds Summer Madness ♪

[yelling]

Ay!

Ow!

[birds cheering and hooting]

[Red grunting]

I think a swan dive will
start my day nicely.

I'm doing a can opener.

[straining]

Followed by a reverse twisting ant eater
dumpster diving with a side of cheese.

[chomping]

Slays them every time.
How about you, b*mb?

Cannonball.
[coughs]

Same as always, Chuck.

What's up with your voice?
You sound all weird.

Got a sore throat.

No problem. We can communicate
via hamboning.

[rhythmic tapping]

[campers all cheering]

Ugh! Do you hear that, Harold?

The joyful noises of happy campers?

-Whoa!
-Yes, it's unbearable.

[PA whines]
Attention all campers,

due to a noise induced stress headache,
the slide is now closed indefinitely.

Huh?
[grunting]

What? Closed?

Everyone's fun is over
because Lynette has a headache?

"My name is Lynette and all this noise
is giving me a headache."

[chuckles]

"My name is Lynette,
and I'm a terribly bossy person."

"My name's Lynette,
and I ruin everybody's fun."

Bro, you sounded just like her.
Do it again.

"My name's Lynette,
and I ruin everybody's fun."

Hmm.

-Come here.
-Oh!

This way, dear. Some fresh air will
do you wonders. Yeah.

Ugh! Quit talking so loudly.

Can't you see I'm suffering here?

Let's go.

[door opens and slams shut]

Tell everyone that the slide is back open.

Why would anybody listen to me?

-Do it as Lynette.
-Oh

-[PA whines]
-[both groaning]

[coughs]
Hello. Um, Lynette here.

The slide is now reopened.

[campers cheering]

Uh, also, Chuck and Stella
report to my office immediately.

[both gasp]

Lynette, I had no idea toilets overflow
if you stuff pineapples in them.

-It was an honest mistake!
-[Red & b*mb] Surprise!

What are you guys doing here--
Wait, that was you?

It was b*mb. Do another one.

Hello, campers. It's Lynette again.

Uh, everyone, uh, make
fart noises with your armpits.

[farting noises outside]

They're doing it.

[loud farting noise]

Uh, that was not an armpit.

You know what this means, don't you?

-We can announce whatever we want.
-[gasps]

We can turn Camp Splinterwood
into-- Into--

Camp Red-tastic.

I was thinking more like
Camp Stella Rules, but we could--

[Lynette] I'm telling you, Harold.
I just heard myself over the PA.

Wait, wait, wait.
Shh! They're back.

Oh, we gotta get out of here.

No, if we can get Lynette out of the way,

we can use your freakish voice talents
to make this place a campers' paradise.

Wait, I got an idea.

[Chuck cawing]

[Chuck] Namaste.

Fancy Feather Spa at your service.

Harold, did you finally
do something useful?

Go with it.

Of course I did, there, sweet cakes.
Yeah.

[relaxing music]

[water bubbling]

huh. This spa looks
a lot like our tool shed.

Or maybe your tool shed
looks a lot like my spa.

Now, why don't we lie back,
close our eyes,

and let all that naughty stress melt away

with the soothing songs
of the noble whale.

[loud rock music playing]

[whales calling]

[sighs] Let's begin. Shall we?

[bones cracking]

Wow. Someone's a little tense.

Hmm.

[grunting and yelping]

Looks like we have to kick it up a notch.

Okay. What should we say first?

Maybe we shouldn't abuse this power

because it'll probably backfire
in some catastrophic way.

Or we can use it for some serious fun.

-[Stella whispering]
-[PA whines]

Attention campers, ice cream will now be
served for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

[all cheering]

Not bad. Okay, okay, my turn.
Okay, so first thing-- [whispeing]

There's no limit to the number of birds
allowed on the catapult.

[campers shouting]

[shouting happily]

[water splashes]

-Harold, give yourself a raise.
-[gasps]

Love you, honey bumpkins.

And cabin tipping is now permitted.

Huh? Whoa!

-[Harold breathing heavily]
-[toilet flushes]

[Red and Stella laughing]

Now let's take things up a notch and--

Add sprinkles to that ice cream.

Sprinkles? What are you talking about?
We need to spice things up.

[PA whines]

Attention campers, all ice cream
will now be topped with hot sauce.

[cook grunts]

[burps]

[campers all burp]

Oh, yeah, real fun. What are you, crazy?

No, that's my idea of fun.
You got a problem with that?

Just that it's nowhere near as fun
as a midair pillow fight at the dojo.

Yeah. I think you mean
midair paintball fight.

-Pillow fight.
-Paintball fight.

Pillow fight. Paintball fight.

[campers grunting and laughing]

Pillow fight!
Paintball fight!

Did you hear that?
Perhaps I should have a look.

What? No, you can't leave now.

I haven't given you your…
rake-y treatment yet.

[Lynette groaning]

[Chuck grunting]

You want this camp to be fun?
Give me that.

Uh, if anyone knows fun
around here, it's me.

I know what fun is.

[both grunting]

Oh, guys, please don't fight.

I'm trying to make Camp Stella Rules
a birdtopia.

No. I'm making it a birdtopia.
You're ruining it.

Whoa, Red!
I've seen you get angry before,

but I've never seen you get angry
at a friend.

What are we doing? This isn't us.
It's the PA.

It's too powerful. It's twisted us.
Turning us into-- into Lynette.

We can handle it. With the PA,
there's nothing we can't do.

No, no more announcements.
We have to give the power back to Lynette.

She's the only one evil enough
to handle it.

Where are you going?

To tell Lynette what we did
so she can take back the mic.

Are you nuts? You can't tell Lynette.

This is for our own good.

[Red grunts]

Red!

Oh, that's it. We're gonna get
thrown out of camp.

Not if the PA can save us first.
Come on, b*mb.

Attention campers,
Red must be stopped at all costs,

but gently-- maybe give him a hug?

-[Camper] There he is! Get him.
-Aah!

[campers shouting angrily]

[Red screaming]

[burping]

[campers chuckle and yell]

-Melons away.
-[all squawk]

[screaming]

Unh!

-There he is.
-Right there.

You have to stop him.

[straining]

He's right there! Get him!

[Red yelling]

[Reg grunts]

Lynette, we did a terrible thing.

b*mb has a sore throat.
He sounded exactly like you,

so we used the PA to change the rules.

This spa was a ruse
to get you out of the way.

This isn't a masseuse. It's Chuck.

How dare you? I am a real masseuse,
and I--

Oh, no. Wait.

I know it was wrong.

We thought we could make a birdtopia,

but all we did
was tear our friendship apart.

Help us, Lynette.
We throw ourselves on your mercy.

[all whimpering]

[sighs]
I haven't felt this relaxed in years.

My headache is completely gone.

It was all just youthful exuberance,
I'm sure.

-She wasn't mad at all.
-Nice work, Chuck. You saved our eggs.

[snoring]

Sorry I got so angry with you, Stella.
I feel there might be a lesson here?

Next time, I'm making sure you and Lynette
are both out of the picture.

And I'm never going to imitate anyone
ever, ever, ever again. Like ever.

You know, Stella, hot sauce on ice cream?
Not bad.

[Red burps]

-What?
-Uh, what?

Aw, nothing.

[theme music playing]