01x02 - King Mario of Cramalot/Day of the Orphan

[bunniefuu]

Hey Paisanos, it's the
Super Mario Bros Super Show!

♪ We're the Mario Bros
and plumbing's our game. ♪

♪ We're not like the
others who get all the fame. ♪

♪ If your sink is in trouble,
you can call us on the double ♪

♪ We're faster than the
others You'll be hooked on the ♪

♪ brothers ♪

♪ Yo, you're in for a treat So
hang onto your seat Get ready ♪

♪ for adventure and remarkable
feats You'll meet Koopa, ♪

♪ the Troopas, the Princess and
the others Hanging with the ♪

♪ plumbers, You'll be hooked
on the brothers Do the bridge ♪

♪ plumbers, You'll be hooked
on the brothers Do the bridge ♪

♪ I said, a hook, hook,
hooked on the brothers. ♪

♪ On the brothers, brothers. ♪♪

Now let me see here, if I move
my bishop four and queen six,

no, no, no
because if I do that,

then I won't be able
to move this one here.

But then again, if I move that
one here then I can move this

one here.

Yo Edison, ho!

Is there not a blackout in
the Bronx you should be taking

care of?

Well I have a move here.

I know, but we
haven't got all day.

Okay, here it is.

[boing]

That's it?

That's my move.

After all that
planning, that's your move?

That's it.

I've finally got you, Edison.

Aha!

That's it?

That's it That's your move?

That's it?

[zap]

Check mate.

[doorbell]

I just b*at
you, look at that.

[laughs]

One of these
days, I'm going to...

...I see check mate, I see.

[doorbell]

Oh sure, just keep eating.

I mean after all, let nothing
bother that beautiful girlish

figure of yours.

I'm coming!

I'm coming!

[door squeaks]

Oh, Hi squirt.

Who are you?

A sad-eyed orphan, no
parents, no brothers,

no sisters.

Just me and my shadow.

What a sad story.

Come in, sweetheart.

Oh please, come
on into my house.

Listen squirt, you don't
happen to have a name,

do you?

Patty, the sad-eyed orphan.

Oh!

Mario, Mario, come here.

We have a guest.

This is my brother Mario.

Mario, this is Patty,
the sad-eyed orphan.

Nice to meet you
Patty, the sad-eyed orphan.

Where are you from?

Oh, I've been drifting
for about six months.

Yes, living off of the land.

Life is tough when you don't
have any parents to love and

take care of you.

[cries]

No one even cares
that today's my birthday.

[cries]

Oh, wait a
minute, wait a minute.

Wipe away those
tears, little one.

We'll throw you the best
birthday party you've ever

seen.

You mean it?

With birthday cake and party
hats and noise makers and a

VCR and a high
definition colour TV monitor?

Hey, that's asking a lot, kid.

We're just plumbers.

[cries]

Alright, alright, Patty.

We'll see what we can do.

We'll cover it.

♪ Gimme yo, yo! ♪

♪ It's the Mario Brothers
and plumbing's their game. ♪

♪ Found the secret warp zone
while working on the drain. ♪

♪ Lend the princess a
hand in the Mushroom Land. ♪

♪ Coming atcha
with the plumbers, ♪

♪ you'll be hooked
on the brothers! ♪

♪ Now, Evil Koopa and his
Troopas are up to misbehaving. ♪

♪ They kidnapped the princess. ♪

♪ Mushroom Land needs saving. ♪

♪ Abusing and confusing
everybody he discovers. ♪

♪ They can't help but be
hooked on the brothers! ♪

♪ Unh! ♪♪

Plumber's log number , we
were in the land of damsels in

distress and knights
in shining armour.

The legendary Cramalot.

I sure hope Mervin the
Magician can help me free my

people from the
evil King Koopa.

We don't even know if
this guy's for real or not.

[all gasp]

[buzz]

Hey, that buzz is for real.

Must be a bee hive nearby.

And when there's bees, there's
ravioli smothered in honey.

[gasp]

[slurp]

Those aren't bees!

They're Beezos bandits.

Beezos away!

[screams]

Huh!

[struggle]

Take that, you Beezos bozos.

[crash]

[growl]

Look out,
they're coming back!

[smoke]

Beezos, be gone.

Abracadabra, buzz off!

Phew!

With magic like that, you
must be Mervin the Magician.

At your service, princess.

Wait until you see my neato
magic cave and my shtick with

a crystal ball.

It was King Koopa who sent
the Beezos bandits after you.

Cramas here in Koopalot?

I mean, Koopa's
here in Cramalot?

I mean, sheesh.

Let's split this place.

What's that crud
Koopa doing here?

I'll show you.

Just cross your fingers
that my aerial is hooked up.

[sizzle]

[marching]

When the old king d*ed, Koopa
moved into his castle and

crowned himself king.

Now I can spread my evil
meanness all over Cramalot.

[evil laugh]

That Koopa's a clog in
the drainpipe of happiness.

Is there anything
we can do to help?

Yep, I looked it up in
the magician's handbook.

[poof]

"One special person can bounce
Koopa off his throne but first

"he must pass a test no
man has ever passed before.

"Whoever is to free our land
must first pull the golden

"plunger from the
sacred sink of Cramalot.

Cash city!

That plunger's
made of solid gold.

One thing about
Cramalot, we're not chintzy.

Whoever pulls out that plunger
will be crowned our real king

and become powerful
enough to drive Koopa away.

Mervy, old pal, your
problems are solved.

I've been unclogging sinks
since I was knee-high to a

tortellini.

Stand back, g*ng.

The sink hasn't been built
that Mario can't unclog.

[struggle]

Whoa!

[water sprays]

Ahh!

Hey, pies plumbing hero guy.

Dust off the crown
and call out the town.

Cramalot has our new king.

[Koopa:]
So, Mario thinks
he's king of Cramalot?

That impudent
little faucet fixer!

How dare he?

There's only one king of
Cramalot and who is that?

Uh, can you give me a hint?

He's sitting right
here on this throne.

Hmm, well gee, maybe
you'd better get off him.

[thud]

[gulp]

I'm talking about me, you
know nothing nincompoop!

Yes, your royal Koopaness.

You're the most kingliest
Koopa that ever Kooped in

Cramalot.

It's time to eat that
pasta-eating plumber and his

friends not to
crowd the Koopa.

Sound the Koopa Troopa att*ck.

[all:]
Yay!

Isn't this exciting, Mario?

We're going to crown you king.

Before you crown me, how
about a celebration snack?

I could really go for a
mozzarella milkshake.

[gasps]

Don't celebrate yet, you
sewer scrubbing loving losers!

[gasps]

It's King Koopa and his
army of Koopa Troopas!

[gasps]

[beeps]

[thud]

Oh no!

We're trapped!

I'll save us!

[shimmering]

[beep]

I wouldn't do that if you
value the princesses' beauty.

[buzzing]

Give me that plunger!

[gulp]

When I get through with
you lasagne loving losers,

you'll wish you
never came to Cramalot.

[smack]

[evil laugh]

[gasps]

Now we'll never
get back to Brooklyn.

Take it easy, Luigi.

Things could be worse.

We're trapped in a
dungeon about to be ex*cuted.

How could things be any worse?

Well for one thing, the
ceiling could lower until it

flattens us like a pizza.

[crumbling]

Very uncool, dudes!

The ceiling is lowering.

Or the room could fill with
water until we all drown like

rats.

[water sloshing]

We've gotta get out of here.

Hey, I've gotta think of
another way things could be

worse.

Mario, please!

Don't say another word.

[crumbling]

[splashes]

[screaming]

This time it looks
like we're done for.

If only Mervin were here!

Yes, there's never a wizard
around when you need one.

[magical noises]

Mervin, where have you been?

Sorry, I had to buy new
batteries for my magic staff.

You wouldn't believe those
lines at the checkout counter.

Never mind that, just get
us out of here before we're

turned into mush
macaroni!

[splash]

Phew!

That was close.

I didn't think we had a
mushroom's chance in a frying

pan.

[Princess Toadstool:]
Where are we?

This is the forest of
perpetual night and terrible

dangers.

[thunder]

[screams]

[thunder]

Look, over there!

[splash]

There's a hand
coming out of the water,

and it's holding a
plumber's snake.

That's no ordinary
plumber's snake.

That's Excalibur, the
mightiest tool of good deeds

in all the realm.

[soaring]

[glisten]

[beeping]

Whoa!

Whoa!

[beeping]

Look!

He's become a Super Mario.

Mario, Excalibur has made you
the most powerful crusader in

all of Cramalot.

Congratulations, kiddo.

You must now face Koopa
and drive him from the land.

Lead on, Mervin.

With this magic
plumber's snake,

I'll knock Koopa for Aruba.

Catch that!

It's Cramalot Castle!

How are we ever going
to get inside?

Hmm, ahh!

Whoa!

Umph!

Luigi...

...you have to swim across
the moat and let down the

drawbridge.

Me?

But, but I can't!

I'm going to have a baby!

[groan]

[slide]

Eh, it was worth a try.

[gulp]

[cheers]

[spring]

Watch out for
k*ller Trouter Fish!

[splashes]

[beeping]

[crash]

[groan]

[thud]

This is the most glorious
day of my Koopa career.

At last I'm king,
king of all Cramalot!

[evil laugh]

You're not king.

You're nothing but a
crowned kyping Koopa.

[beep]

Cursed crocodiles!

It's that pepperoni plumber!

[beep]

And his plumber's helpers.

That's right, Koopa.

I'm gonna clean your pipes.

[beep]

I'm bad!

[whip]

We'll see about that.

Seize them!

[footsteps and growls]

[fighting]

Here come the Koopa Troopas!

Let's turn them
into Koopa Droopas!

Huh?

Ahh!

[dash]

[fighting]

[fighting]

It's no use, Koopa.

When we plumbers
run into trouble,

we've gotta flush it out.

Easier said than
done, macaroni mouth.

[evil laugh]

You can't escape that easily,
you sinister slime bag.

[whip]

[beep]

Whoa!

What's green and scary and
covered with meat sauce?

I don't know.

What?

A Koopa that's
landed in deep spaghetti.

Cut the cord and
fight, faucet face.

[growl]

[bash]

Oww!

[fighting]

Koopa, you're the meanest,
ugliest lizard that ever

slimed its way
across Cramalot.

Flattery will get you nowhere.

[crash]

Trying to fly
the coup, eh Koopa?

[fighting]

Thanks, Koopa!

[chomp]

This duelling makes me
work up quite an appetite.

[fighting]

There, that's the
last of those grimy green

good-for-nothings.

[fighting]

Drats, you pasta brained
plumbers have foiled my plans

again.

That's the way the
meatball bounces.

Then as the old saying goes,
he who Koops and runs away,

lives to Koop another day.

[poof]

He's escaping
into a warp zone!

[evil laugh]

[poof]

Miserable minestrone,
the Koopa's got away again.

Yes, but Cramalot's
seen the last of him.

[Mervin:]
Mario, thanks to
you and your brave buddies,

Koopa has been
chased from Cramalot.

Eh, it was nothing.

Nothing?

It was plum fantastic, and
Cramalot's people want you to

stay here and be the king.

King?

I always wanted to be king.

I accept.

I crown you Royal Mario.

[clapping]

[poof]

Hey, what's this thing?

Your new exercise machine.

Whoever becomes king of
Cramalot must be trim as a

lion.

No more pasta for you.

On second
thought, Mervy old pal,

I don't think I'm
cut out to be king.

Arrivederci, King Mervin!

[laughs]

Oh I tell you, I
love the colours.

This ought to do it.

Beautiful, beautiful.

[beeping]

Uncle Mario, can I possibly
get some more popcorn?

Sure Patty, as soon as
I blow up this balloon.

I want it now!

Or I'll start crying.

You know, Mario, she's kind of
fresh for a sad-eyed orphan,

isn't she?

Yes, those are the beadiest
little sad eyes I've ever

seen.

Mmhmm.

[doorbell]

I got it, I got it.

[creak]

Patty, there you are.

Your mother and I have
been worried sick about you.

We gave at the office.

[beeping]

Mother and
father, forget about it.

Patty said she was an orphan.

Orphan?

That's a new one.

Last week she was telling
people we were lost in space.

Oh, are you having a party?

It's so festive.

Well, you know, it was
supposed to be a birthday

party, a surprise
party, for Patty,

you know, the little sad-eyed
orphan who never had a

birthday party before.

Oh, that's terrible.

Patty!

Let's not waste any more of
these kind plumbers' time

dear.

Patty!

Patty, you get
here this instant.

Young lady, when we get home,
you are going to your room

until the end of the century.

Who are you?

My pre-orphan parents told me
never to talk to strangers.

You know very well who we are.

Now how could you do such a
cruel thing to this to Mario

and Luigi?

Now apologize at once.

Sorry, Luigi.

Sorry, Mario.

Ah, that's alright, Patty.

Say listen, we've still
got all the decorations up,

right?

Plenty of cake and ice cream.

And some expensive
presents hidden somewhere?

Why don't we have a party
and celebrate a happy family

reunion, huh?

Please dad?

It's gotta last me until
the end of the century.

Well, okay.

Alright, I love
parties with happy endings.

Yay, let's party.

[party music]

Till the next time everybody!

Do the Mario!

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Swing your arms
from side to side. ♪

♪ Come on, it's time to go. ♪

♪ Do the Mario. ♪

♪ Take one step and then
again, let's do the Mario. ♪

♪ All together now,
you got it. ♪

♪ It's the Mario. ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Swing your arms
from side to side. ♪

♪ Come on, it's time to go. ♪

♪ Do the Mario. ♪

♪ Take one step and then
again, let's do the Mario. ♪

♪ Altogether now, come
on now, just like that. ♪