04x06 - Happily Ever After

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Ted (2030): Children, on your wedding day should be the happiest of your life, the culmination of a perfect love story. My marriage, at least the first has not gone so well.

Ted reads the word of Stella while she on a boat, kissing Tony.

Ted is with his friends at McClaren's.

Ted: It's funny when I think about it. I was sure that Stella was good. When she left me, I was so devastated. But you helped me overcome that. Now the hard part is over. I came out a little louder. You know, I do not think further of it. This is the work of time, I guess.

Lily: Ted, the wedding was yesterday. It's been 24 hours.

Ted: I know. That's all I advance. A new chapter in my life begins today, and we'll celebrate. Here, we need two things.We need Kool and the g*ng. It's time the jukebox!

He rises from his chair, dancing and going to turn the jukebox.

Barney: I watch this young man dancing near the jukebox, and I can not help thinking... Stella may have made the right choice. Ouch!

Marshall: How can he dance here? He should be trying to smash the car with a club of Stella.

Barney: Assumption. He is not pretending to be happy. Ted is really happy. He did not want to marry from the start. Ted had the best train dodge since Stand by Me Well, not the first kid, but others.

Lily: No, it is a mess.

Ted: It gauze?

Lily: A mess. And one must be there for him.

Ted (2030): But all my friends wanted to be there for me, I would, seemingly, well.

Lily and Robin arrives at the apartment, a pizza in hand and beers.

Lily: Hey, man.

Robin: You wanna hang out?

Ted: Girls, I'm fine.

Marshall has a glove and a baseball ball.

Marshall: Dude, you make some?

Ted: I'm fine.

Barney entered the apartment with two women.

Barney: Hey, kid.

Ted: Barney, I'm fine! It is not necessary, and it is rather unhealthy. Sorry, ladies.

Barney: I did not know you'd be here. Girls stairwell.

GENERIC

The band is at the bar...

Ted (2030): Finally, after two weeks, emotions eventually overflow.

Ted: What do you want for dinner?

Lily: Oh, the farm. I'm sorry, is that you have experienced something traumatic, and we try to be there for you, but do not you leave us, and it irritates us, selfish little whore. Sorry.

Marshall: We are concerned that you faced not what happened with Stella. Do you remember when Lily left me? How I buried my emotions?

Flashback

Marshall is in the arms of Ted, on the couch, crying.

Marshall: It... I... miss him so much.

End flashback

Robin: Yeah man, you've been a rock.

Marshall: I should have been worse, OK? I should have my nerves, follow your advice and burn cases Lily.

Lily: Super. Thank you, Ted.

Marshall: I have not done it, and that's why I took so long to get better. So Ted, I want you explode. Release your rage.Ready? Now!

Ted: It's OK.

Barney: Guys, let him go. He is happy. Listen, if Ted was married, then he would be married, he would live in New Jersey, and he would be married. It is well. Good, let's eat. Let Flat Michael's?

Ted: It is between the 44th and Lex. Impossible.

Robin: Why?

Ted: It is near the gym Stella. We could cross. Everywhere else, it's going.

Robin: Ok, how about Hurley's?

Ted: Stack between his office and dry cleaner. Sorry.

Lily: Well, The Meatloaf Charlie?

Ted: Two blocks from her mother's hairdresser.

Barney: Okay, Ted, is there a place in Manhattan where one can dine?

Ted: Of course. Look at this.

Ted pulls out a map of Manhattan, half colored red.

Robin: It's that thing?

Ted: A reference card I made. A guide to places where you can meet Stella Zinman. The red areas: to avoid. White: OK.Blue: the sea

Lily: This is ridiculous.

Robin: The sea is blue.

Lily: You can not live like this.

Marshall: It leaves you on the altar, and it's you who're avoiding?

Ted: Yes, I avoid it. What is the problem? It goes like this.

Marshall: It's that "one" small dicks?

Ted: No, 'on', it is the people of the great state of Ohio. When life is hard, we take the pain and bury us. And if the pain goes, is buried pain over another. Why cope when you can avoid?All I have to do is to never see her again, and I will have a long happy life. So who wants to eat?

Lily: Someone told me of a tapas bar located in the white zone.

Ted: Super. Let's go.

Barney, Robin, Ted, Marshall and Lily are in the restaurant.

Waiter: Have you decided?

Ted: Not yet. Can we have almonds to the table?

Waiter: Certainly.

Ted: Well done, Lily. This place looks cool. That you talked about?

Lily: I actually remember it. Oh Oh!

Robin: What?

Lily: I remember.

Ted turns around and sees Stella.

Ted: Oh my God! Oh my God! OK, stay cool. We'll just have to manage it. Everyone... follow me.

He hides under the table.

Marshall: Oh, you laugh.

Lily: He is serious?

Barney: I will not in this table. Possibly, in this one.

Robin: She turns around.

Everyone is hiding under the table.

Ted: Think, think. Guys, stay there. I'll take a look. Marshall will look.

Server: Do you want covered?

Stella: No, I'm going home.

Marshall: She took to win.

Ted: She looks happy? She talked about me? I do not care.Where are the almonds?

Barney: Where may well be nuts Ted? You should check the garage in the grip of Stella.

Marshall: Will the yelling.

Lily: You're maybe Ohio, but you live in New York now. We do not bury our emotions in New York. We take our emotions and they are sent to the other side!

Ted: Let me go. You'd do the same if you were in this situation.

Lily: I dream! There's not one person on Earth to which I would hide under a table.

Ted: Really, not one? Not even... Gazeur?

Lily: How dare you pronounce this name to me?

Robin: Who is Gazeur?

Lily: This is the last person I would like to see here. Michael purifier. This is a guy I was in high school.

Flashback

Lily is in progress.

Lily: Michael was next to me in Biology. It was a failure for the entire college, but the summer before the third, he grew 30 cm and joined the baseball team. It was becoming a cool guy.Until one day...

We hear someone fart.

End flashback

Barney: Lily, you're all been there. When we loose one, it's not pretty.

Robin: You did what?

Lily: Are you kidding? It was the third. I had a choice.

Flashback

Lily: Oh, my God, purifier! It gauze?

Purifier: It was not me. That was it.

Lily: Of course purifier. Or rather Gazeur. Gazeur!

Purifier: I'm in the team baseball. I'm cool.

End flashback

Lily: The Gazeur nickname stuck. He had so much ridicule, he had to change schools.

Barney: The kids are great.

Lily: It made me always feel guilty. But if Gazeur... Michael...came now, as hard as it may be, I would go to Gazeur...Michael... and I should settle things between us.

Robin: Clearing the air, as before. Oh, man. It does not happen often. You are welcome.

The server slides under the table.

Server: It's going guys?

Ted: Let's just eat here, if possible.

Server: This is your almonds.

Ted: Thank you. You have a daily special?

Marshall: Ted, this is ridiculous.

Barney: I am a person who... Well, are facing. There are a bunch of people I do not want to see... as the group of "girls that I skipped"... but if one of them came here, I would stay there, and I would look into his eyes. For some, this would be the first time.

Ted: Really, you hide from anybody? Not even... Becca Delucci?

Barney: Son of a bitch.

Host: Who is Becca Delucci?

Barney: Do you mind?

Robin: Who is Becca Delucci?

Barney: Becca is this girl who lives in the North. I saw her from time to time.

Ted: Where exactly in the north, Barney?

Barney: Bedford Hills Federal Penitentiary.

Flashback

Barney is in the parlor with a woman.

Barney: And yes, the visits were of a conjugal nature.

End flashback

Lily: That's not true?

Barney: Really. And that I had with Becca was a perfect relationship. She was allowed to call me once a week. If it becomes too sticky, the armed guards stoppaient. I've never had to pay for dinner. In fact, this is false. I pay taxes. I guess we all paid for dinner. Thank you, guys. Anyway, at the last visit, I screwed up.

Flashback

Barney: I know it's hard, baby, but I'm in a prison too.Imprisoned in my heart. This room is ready or what? We can...?

Woman: You're the only thing that kept me here.

Barney: That's why I'm here, baby. I am your strength. I'm...Oh, my God. Hello, stranger. (He hangs up with the first woman prisoner and will talk to another who has just arrived) Barney Stinson, attorney. Let's talk about your output.

Woman: Hell, no!

The first woman throws herself on the other woman.

End flashback

Barney: Now I have letters from Becca who say, "I'll come see you the day I get out of here. I'll hang your eyes in my rearview mirror. "Women, eh?

Ted: You see? Are you afraid of Becca. Lily is afraid of Gazeur. (Marshall head out from under the table) are still under the table.

Marshall: We do not need. Stella is a party.

Ted: Oh, my God. That's it, and that's it, the style Ohio. The problem manifested itself. It has been avoided. It is a party.Here you can dine in peace...

Marshall: It comes back. (They go back under the table) We all think that you need... Wait, where is Barney? (Barney is in the next table) We think you should talk to him.

Robin: Not me.

Marshall: What?

Robin: If the last person I wanted to see, came in I would not talk to him.

Ted: Really?

Lily: Who is it?

Robin: My father.

Barney: Boy, this sure is another table. What are we talking?

Lily: From Robin's father.

Robin: I have not spoken to him in 3 years and I want to start now.

Lily: Why?

Flashback

A woman is giving birth.

Robin: It goes back to my birth.

Man: Come on, give me my son. Grows.

End flashback

Robin: He wanted a son and the fact that I am a girl has not changed.

Ted: How so?

Robin: My full name is Robin Charles Scherbatsky, Jr. And it only got worse.

Flashback

Robin's father gives him a g*n.

Robin: At 8, he took me hunting for the first time. I want to sh**t a deer.

Father of Robin: Trivia, RJ sh**t a deer is the most noble goals.

Robin: But they're cute.

Father: You said the same about our rabbits. You remember how they were delicious?

End flashback

Robin: My body started to change...

Barney: Wait a second. Sorry, continues.

Robin: It was increasingly hard for him to act as if I was a boy.

Flashback

Robin: The worst moment came in my 14 years. My junior hockey team had just won the "Squamish Invitational." And everybody came to my house to celebrate.

Father: Guys, you have behaved splendidly there on the ice.Splendidly. You go outside. I come back with soft drinks and pretzels.

Boy: I can not believe you hast missed the last sh*t, silly.

Robin: You're an idiot.

Boy: No, it's you, the idiot.

Robin and kissing the boy when his father returns, and drops the tray.

Father: What do you do? You are teammates, hockey players.Teammates do not kiss! Hockey players do not kiss! Oh, my God. I have no son.

End flashback

Barney: My poor. Being forced to grow up in Canada with America, right next door.

Marshall: It's sad for your father, Robin, but congratulations for this game.

Robin: And Kyle and I are doing anything serious. It was only the blue line.

Barney: The blue line?

Robin: You know when you're a kid, you give the terms of hockey at all? The blue line is the kiss, the red is to be naked, and I think that "crease" speaks for itself. After that, my relationship with my father has cooled. I moved with my mother, let my hair grow, was a Canadian pop star. Young normal stuff.

Lily: You do not think you'd feel better if you talked to him?

Robin: That's just it. It would be useless. This is history, it's done. I would say what? "I wish not to be raised as a boy, that thou teach me not to hunt, fish and smoke cigars and drinking scotch because girls do not do that. And you know why I run like a girl? Because I am one. "

Ted: You kept it for quite some time, eh?

Robin: Yes.

Ted: It has returned to you.

Marshall: Sorry.

Barney: It's hot.

Ted (2030): And I realized... all my friends were haunted, but there was a difference between my and their ghosts. It was not too late for me.

Ted: I'll talk to him. (They go out from under the table, but Stella is gone) She's gone. I'll catch up.

Barney: There, there.

They leave the restaurant and the taxi from Stella.

Ted: There she is!

Ted, Barney, Robin, Marshall and Lily are in a taxi.

Ted: I see. It is two taxis right front. Not lose it, OK?

Marshall: Well, well you do. You're going to confront it.

Ted: I will face it.

Robin: This is so exciting.

Ted: Bluntly.

Lily: You're gonna say what?

Ted: I will say, "Sorry it did not work. "We will discuss in adults. She'll tell me his views and... I will listen. What I should have done more before.

Barney: You can fly it into the lamp? Fasten your seat belts!Not you, Ted.

Marshall: You have to get angry. Go ahead. Looking good.

Ted: Come on. There is no question of moving his arms, stomping feet and get angry. This is Stella and I finally communicating. Clearly, it was...

Marshall: Stella hated Star Wars. She lied to you. Seeking your feelings. You know it's true.

Ted: That's his problem.

Barney: Come on, Ted. She left you on the altar.

Robin: I understand!

Ted: In the name of all that is sacred...

Lily: Wait, wait! Where it goes? His taxi has missed the exit for the Lincoln Tunnel.

Robin: Why take it away to bring him back in New Jersey, anyway?

Ted: Maybe she goes to his office.

Marshall: No.

Flashback

At the restaurant...

Marshall: The waiter asked him: "Do you want covered? "And she said:" I'm going home. "

End flashback

Ted: If she goes to her, why you go to...? Oh, my God. Tony lives in the city center. "At home" is Tony's apartment. She would move in with me in New Jersey and moved to town, Tony? The bitch!

Marshall: Finally. Finally, my friend.

Ted: I have the balls too!

Marshall: I know and I love it! It's great! Sir, we will pay gladly handle that has been broken. I love Ted angry!

Ted: Me too!

Marshall: Lets get out, man, let out.

Lily: She stops.

Ted: That's it. That's it!

Marshall: Yes, Ted. Come on, buddy!

Robin: Get rid of your demons!

Barney: I have ants in my leg!

Lily: OK, wait. Wait...

Marshall: What are you doing?

Lily: Wait. Listen, Ted, it's great that you're angry...

Marshall: Sure.

Lily:... and that you face all that, but... you only have one chance. Take a moment and think about what you will say.

Ted: I know exactly what I say. (Ted comes out of the taxi) You chose the wrong guy. You chose the wrong guy. You did a very, very, very bad choice. What were you thinking? This guy? You kidding me? Have you learned anything these past 8 years? You'll be sorry. You know it? You'll be sorry, and you can do anything about it because it is too late. Anything you can do is start up your life miserable and disappointing that will never be as happy as it could be with me. Goodbye.

Stella: Ted, wait.

Ted: Look, I'm not there to pick you. I am here because I need to know that you know you've made the worst mistake of your life.

Stella: I know.

Ted: Okay. (Ted is still in the taxi) This is what I say.

Marshall: It kills!

Barney: From cold blood.

Lily: Okay, tell him that.

Ted down the taxi and went to see Stella who does the same.

Ted (2030): So I got out of the cab, ready to tell her everything, ready to explode but then...

Tony is dating his daughter, Lucy in her arms.

Lucy: Mom!

Ted (2030): Here we go at once. And it was over. At this point, I was not angry. I saw that she was made to be with him.Children, you might think that the only choices are to swallow his anger, or swing at someone. There is another option: you can let it flow, and when you do that, we can forget and move forward. And that was the perfect ending to a perfect love story.It was just not mine. Mine was always there, waiting for me.

The End