01x04 - Granny Baby/Time Is Money

[bunniefuu]

Gotta Blast!

♪ From here to the stars
for my candy bars ♪

♪ Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪

( gasps )

♪ With super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪

( barks )

♪ He rescues the day
from sure destruction... ♪

Help!

♪ ...This is the theme song ♪

( screams )

♪ For Jimmy Neutron. ♪

( mechanical whirring )

( barking )

( yells )

Oh, no you don't,
Mr. Muscles.

If you hurt your back
lifting those

you'll be no use
to me tonight

on our third
honeymoon

when I want all the furniture
in the hotel room rearranged.

Don't couples usually
go on second honeymoons?

We had one of those

but thanks to a certain
young genius

and his "Forgeto-blaster"

it was wiped
out of our brains.

Oh, yeah.

Along with the entire
fifth year of our marriage.

I do so wish I could
remember that year.

Do you think I had pie?

All right, Jimbo,
now listen.

We're going to be staying
at the Wild Animal Land

in the Dead Zebra Carcass
suite.

Don't tell your mother.

It's going to be a big surprise.

Oh, and Jimmy

Granny Neutron's
coming over while we're gone.

Aw, Mom.

Don't you remember my theorem

proving mathematically, I don't
need anyone to watch me?

No, Jim-Jam, she's
not watching you.

You're watching her.

Besides, you can keep
each other company.

Now, remember, we're counting
on you to watch out for her.

And don't conduct any more
experiments on her, Jimbo.

At her age, the last thing
you want is excitement.

( tires screeching )

Told you I could get here from
the airport in under 50 cents.

( laughs )

Mom!

Oh, Mother Neutron.

Hi, Granny.

Jimmy, you tote my clothes.

Hugh...

you carry my pills,
syrups, salves

serums, girdles,
ointments

medical devices...

Trade you.

...and miscellaneous
supports.

MOM:
Hugh, darling

Do you think Jimmy

will be able to take care
of Granny all right?

I wouldn't worry
about that, sugar.

I'm sure she can keep
Jimmy entertained

with one of her
exciting stories.

( tires screeching )

And by the time they cleaned out
both of my ears

there was enough wax piled up
to open a candle shop.

And then

they found this
hair in my ear

that they think might
go right through to my foot.

( grunting )

Age is a cruel,
cruel thing, Goddard.

In a short 65 years

you completely lose
your ability to tell

when people want you
to stop talking.

And forget Preparation H.

I've made it all the way
to Preparation X.

( laughs )

Wait a second.

If I made her young again,
I'd bet she'd stop complaining.

But I promised Mom and Dad
I wouldn't experiment on Granny

especially after that time
I made her magnetic.

( chuckles )

Bye-bye.

I had a wonderful time...

She's awfully old.

Hope this is enough.

( straining )

Good morning.

I was just telling you
over there

about my deviated spatum.

On cold mornings
it rattles like the tin man

throwing up a hoagie
full of wood screws.

What's in the bottle?

Tongue defurrer.

Your tongue
gets furry when you're old.

Sometimes I wake up
and the cat's chewing on it.

Oh, let me open that for you.

I think you'll feel
much better and quieter

after you drink this.

Mm, hmm.

Tastes funny.

Of course,
what do I know?

After 60, your sense of
taste completely disa...

Granny?

Goo-goo-ga-gee.

Uh-oh.

Granny?

I feel great.

Did I just take
my morphine?

Uh, uh...

No, Granny, you're, uh...
well, you're sort of a...

baby.

Holy fiber caps,
I'm topless!

Oh, man, this isn't good.

Where'd you get the diaper?

I was already
wearing it.

( breaks wind )

Ooh...

I need my diadey changed.

Problem.

Goddard, change diaper.

( hacks )

Change me now.

( cries )

( breaks wind )

Who can change a diaper?

I don't know any nurses.

Oh, no way.

I love and respect Mom
far too much

to let her know
I disobeyed her.

Huh-uh, no way, I will never,
ever ask Cindy for a favor.

( breaks wind )

Clean my poopie.

Okay, let's go ask Cindy
for a favor, shall we?

So, how much have we
collected so far, Libby?

I'm starving.

We're $1.23 away from
just enough to split

an enchillaburitto
from Taco Horn.

( muffled shouting )

Look at this!

This must be
a discontinued Ultra Lord

double-barreled slingshot.

Uh... sure.

Ten bucks.

Uh... all right, deal.

Uh, I don't know,
Sheen.

If that's what it is,
then my mom has a lot

of Ultra Lord double-
barreled slingshots.

Do you have any other
Ultra Lord collectibles?

No.
Pay and leave.

Any Ultra Lord videos?
No.

DVDs?
No.

CD-ROMs?
No.

TV episodes...
No!

What about the
discolored pajamas

you get at the swap meet?

No!

Do I look like
the kind of pathetic

self-diluted dweeb case

who'd have any
Ultra Lord anything?

No.

You look more like
a regular kind

of pathetic self-diluted
dweeb case.

( laughing )

BOYS:
Hey, Jimmy.
What's up, Jim?

What are you doing here?

Fine, thank you.

So, say... great stuff.

Um, I was wondering
where your mom is?

Why?

Well, uh,
well, here's the thing.

I, uh, need some help,
with, uh... this.

BOTH:
Aw.

( giggling )

( sniffing )

BOTH:
Ew.

Yeah, see, I think
she might need changing.

What was
your first clue?

So you'll do it?

As much as I detest helping
smug, pseudo-brainiacs

my nurturing female instincts
will not let me

leave a helpless infant
in your care.

Where's the new diaper?

New diaper?

What's wrong with
what she's wearing?

It's full of poo!

I thought you were
a genius.

Hey, he's a guy.

( laughs )

( gasping )

She-she talked.

Well, now that we got past that

I've got
a rash brewing down here

that would make a red-hot
chili pepper look pale.

JIMMY:
Cindy, Libby,
um...

Granny Neutron.

You turned your own
grandmother into a baby?

I have a loophole.

I mean, an explanation.

This could have happened
to anyone with a genius IQ

and access
to unstable chemicals.

Could we hurry up?

I'm getting dizzy
from my own fumes here.

Ooh...

dolly.

How long is she going
to be a baby?

Well, I'm not sure exactly

but I've got to change her back
before Mom and Dad get home.

Well, how many diapers
do we need?

( breaking wind )

Well, I'd err on
the side of hundreds.

So, great,
here's some money

and a list of things
I need for the antidote.

I'll see you when you get
back from the store. Thanks.

Whoa, no you don't.

Libby, you run the yard sale

while Dr. Spock and I
go to the shop.

( nasally ):
That's fine by me.

( crashing )

I'm bored.

Make a funny face

and let me hit you
with my rattle.

No.

( crying )

Okay, okay.

Bleh.

( banging )

It's fun hitting you.

( laughs )

Granny, Granny, quiet.

Did that baby
just talk?

No, ha, ha.

Everyone knows
babies can't talk.

That's right,
'cause if we could

the Video Tubbies
would be canceled so quick

it would make
their head aerials spin.

( laughs )

( gasping )

Luckily I've got 36 hours
to make the antidote

before my parents
return.

Hello?

Honey, it's Mom.

We're coming home.

No!

I mean, oh, great.

I mean, oh, why?

Well, your father
accidentally disturbed a nest

and had a run-in
with a mother eagle.

How's Granny?

Oh, she's great.

Yeah, you wouldn't
even... recognize her.

Oh, well, I'm very proud of you,
Jimmy.

We'll see you and Granny soon.
Bye-bye.

Wait, wait...

Really,
I wasn't trying

to harm your
little eaglets...

Stop talking to it, Hugh.

I think it calms her.

Try moving your finger
like a worm.

No.

We want the talking baby!

We want the talking baby!

Goddard

compare antidote completion

with mother's return time-- go.

Oh, Mom and Dad!

Oh, come on.
Think, think, think.

Brain blast!

Okay, as soon as
that turns blue

pour it in a baby bottle
and bring it outside.

Come on, Granny.

Ladies and gentleman

I give you
the amazing, talking baby!

( crowd "oohs" )

Hey, give me a cuddle.

And a diaper change
while you're at it.

( laughs )

Hey, hey, there's a string
in her back.

Oh, no, I have been found out.

Yes, you have, son.

Whew.

Here.

Anything else you'd like?

Your slippers
and a pipe, maybe?

Hello, honey.

How was everything?

Oh, hi, Mom.

Nothing unusual here.

Just me and Granny
obeying all your rules.

Yes, ma'am, that's
what we're doing.

Hey, Mr. Neutron.

That shirt's cool.

And so's that big bird
on your head.

It's actually
an eagle, Sheen.

It considers me
a hostile predator.

Ooh, does that hurt?

Yes. Very much.

Well, I'd love to stay
and help you

narrowly avoid
even more consequences

of your stupid actions

but it looks
like Libby and I

have a date with
some enchillaburittos.

It's nice
to have you back, Granny.

So nice to be back,
Jimmy.

( laughs )

Hey, Jim,
I'm really thirsty.

Does your mom have
any lemonade?

Drink this.

No!

Carl?

You okay?

Well, my eyes hurt,
my hair's gone

and I have a powerful
urge to dance badly.

I'll take
a piece of that.

( music plays )

Oh, great.

Oh, yes.

( barking )

And that concludes
the first tenth

of our very long discussion
of the electromagnetic balance

in the left hemisphere
of the brain.

Oh.

Who would have thought

the frontal lobe
would have had
that much influence

over the corpus
callosum, huh?

Not me.

Me, neither.

Hey, Jimmy, you think

you could come up
with an adventure?

You know,
like changing the channel?

You know, I don't know.

Maybe, like, um,
I don't know.

A remote control.

Yeah, Jim.

Like, this is informative
and all

but I think I'd rather
be covered in bees.

And I'm allergic.

Well, it wasn't all
painfully horrible, Jimmy.

I like the part
about the medulla oblongata.

I don't know what it means,
but I love the way it sounds.

Back, or I will slay thee
with my medulla oblongata.

What do you guys want to watch?

Ultra Lord.

Yeah, I'm pretty much good

with anything that's not this.

All right.

Don't touch that dial.

What would you say
if I told you

you could harness all
the information in the universe?

All of it?

That's right.

You can possess infinite
knowledge.

And it's all right here
in the new 1,000-volume set

of The Encyclopedia
of Infinite Knowledge.

What ancient civilization built

an entire royal palace
from shredded wheat?

What species of owl
can be milked like a cow?

Where is Waldo?

That's right.

1,000 volumes.

Just order now,
and you'll receive a new volume

every week for 19.23 years.

The Encyclopedia
of Infinite Knowledge.

Order now or you're an idiot.

Wow!

Did you guys
see that?!

There's never been an
encyclopedia like that.

Ever.

I've got
to have it.

That's so crazy.

Because I so don't want it.

Well, sorry, guys.

I got to go
talk to my
mom right now.

Hi. I'm calling
about the encyclopedia.

Yes.

And how much is the set?

Oh.

My.

Uh, well, thank you anyway.

Well, Jimmy, your mother

sort of keeps track
of the finances, and I...

don't.

Dad, they're
educational.

Encyclopedias are
an investment.

Yeah, but they make my brain...
twitch.

Now, what you want to do, Jimmy,
is be thankful

for the things you already have.

Look, we all want things.

Would I like to have
a six-foot duck sculpture

with a year's supply
of free pie?

You bet you, I would.

( sighs )

Uh, we don't have the kind
of money.

I wish we were rich.

Oh, well, there was a time, Jim,
when that almost a reality.

You know, years ago,
I almost invested

in McSpanky's Burger Factory.

McSpanky's?

Really?

Sure.

15 years ago, I picked up
a scruffy-looking McSpanky

on the side of the road.

He didn't have a penny
to his name.

Told me all about
this grand scheme he had

to assembly-line hard, little
tasteless burger patties
to the masses

disguising them
with inexpensive condiments

and yummy buns.

He offered me a full partnership

for $50 of startup money
and a back rub.

And you didn't do it?

Well, Jimmy...
I almost did it.

( sighs )

But then decided
to use that money for a more...

important reason.

Man has to have his priorities.

( grunts )

I need money
is what I need.

JIMMY:
Uh, gee, Goddard.

It's not fair.

I wish
I could go back in time

and convince him
to invest in...

That's it.

If we go back in time

I can convince Dad
to invest in McSpanky's

and then, we'll have all
the money we'll ever need.

Gentlemen, I give you...

the time booth.

Just punch
in the time

and visit the period
of your choosing.

Go on.
Step inside.

Um, has this thing
been tested

by an independent
laboratory?

Uh, who cares, Carl?

Where we going, Jimmy?

Okay. My Dad said

he met Hank McSpanky
15 years ago

so, I'll just set this
to 15 years in the past

and we'll just...

Hold the phone.

You mean, McSpanky
Burger Factory McSpanky?

Uh, that's my favorite place
in the whole wide world.

Okay. Enough, you guys.

We're ready
for the maiden voyage.

Maiden voyage?
Maiden voyage?

You're bringing a girl with us?

( electrical zapping )

Wow!

The past is so dark.

It's spooky.

No, guys.

The lab used to
be a basement.

We did it.

We went back
15 years in time.

( disco music plays )

DAD:
Yeah.

I just love those three guys
with the high-pitched

female-type voices.

( singing in high-pitched
voice )

♪ Like to eat pie ♪

Check out the new
moves, Sugar Booger.

I call it The
Monkey Grind.

( grunting )

Oh, Hugh.

You are so groovy.

Grind that monkey.

I'm grinding the chimp, too.

Jimmy, can we please

go back to the present?

The past is
kind of dorky.

N-not yet, Carl.

I-I've got to convince Dad
to invest with McSpanky.

MOM:
Ooh.

( humming )

Mom, Dad.

( gasps )

Hey, you cats don't live here...

do you?

How did you
get in here?

Of course they don't know me.

We don't exist yet.

Would you let
me handle this?

We come from
the future.

( laughs )

You know what he means?
The door.

The door was open,
so we just, uh, uh...

Came inside?

Yeah. Your crib.

Uh, I'm Jimmy,
and these are my friends--

Carl and Sheen.

Hi.

Glad to birada nicto.

Jimmy.

Uh, I love that name.

( laughs )

Oh, that's quite a wild-sized
noggin you got going there, son.

You're like a mod...
buffalo-headed boy.

Now, look, I'm all for freedom,
Buffalo Boy, but you guys...

You can't just go busting in
to a cool cat's bachelor pad.

Bachelor pad?

You mean you two
aren't married yet?

Marriage is

for the older scene, man.

Besides, Judy Cakes only lives
five minutes from here

and Hugh Doggy Dog's
a free spirit.

We let love rule.

The wind is our minister,
and true love is our chapel.

Ah!

Oh, Hughie.

Ooh. Make it stop,
Jimmy. I...

You seem familiar
somehow, Buffalo Boy.

Are you one of
Hughby Dooby's
neighbors?

Hughby Dooby. We live
down the street, and, um...

Listen, can I talk to you
for a minute in private?

Okay, listen

I know we just
met and all

but you have
to trust me
on this one.

Now, when you
meet a man named
Hank McSpanky...

Oh, you mean the smelly hobo
with the funny eye.

You know him?

Yeah, I just gave him a ride
the other day.

McSpanky's got some wacky
burger scheme

that he wants me
to invest my last $50 in, but...

Hey, hey. Do it.

What?
Invest.

Invest in McSpanky's
Burger Factory.

I did consider it

but there's something
very special

I'm planning
on using that money for.

A man has to have his priority.

Listen, listen, Dad.

Uh, Hugh.

Um... Hughby Dooby Do.

Hey!

Only the chicks
can call me that.

Sorry.

You've got
to invest.

McSpanky's Burger
Factory is going

to be huge, and
you'll be rich.

Oh, oh.

And when you're older
and have a son

make sure you get him
the 1,000-volume set

of The Encyclopedia
of Infinite Knowledge.

I got to go.

( electrical zapping )

Ha-ha, we're back.

Yeah, but-but everything looks
the same.

Well... maybe he didn't
take my advice.

Come on.

CARL:
Uh, Jimmy.

I think he took your advice.

( Jimmy laughs )

We're rich.

We're really rich.

We're rich.

Uh, Carl, Jimmy's
rich, not us.

Okay.

DAD:
It's the principal
of the thing.

MOM:
I know.

Um, Mom, Dad...

I don't care if
he is my dad.

Life-saving
operations
are expensive.

I mean, it's
my money, after all.

If I give him some,
I have less.

Ow! Be careful.

That's my
credit card hand.

Mom, Dad!

What?
Yeah, what?

Well, uh...
how are you guys?

He's still
got two lungs.
Since I couldn't make up my mind

Say it to him,
for God's sake.
I just said...

Hey, hey, hey, come on,
I'm your son, and, well...

Point?

Huh?

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

Oops! Looks like you just wasted
another chunk of my life.

Thanks a lot, Jerry.

It's Gary.

It's Jimmy.

Whatever. We don't have time

for this kind of...

talking thing you want to do.

And what are
they doing here?

The big one is odd

and the thin one
is... a weirdo.

Hey, you can't insult us
like that.

Here you go.

Get yourself
something nice.

Sure they can.

Let's go,
odd guy.

You got it, weirdo.

Oh, and here's
some for you, too.

Bye-bye, now.

What do I do with this?

Oh, for heaven's sake!

Hilgo.

Hilgo?

MOM:
Hilgo, could
you take Jimmy
up to his room?

He's being all...
sonish again.

Da.

Ooh, and get that contraption
out of here.

You know I don't like it
in the house.

Da.

( whirring )

Oh. What happened,
Goddard?

I thought being rich
would be great.

Mom and Dad are...

Well, they're
not Mom and Dad.

Come on, Goddard.

Let's get Dad's 50 bucks back.

( electrical zapping and
whirring )

What do you
think, Jimalimb?

That's just about
the greatest thing

I've ever seen.

It's a Montana
Wormsnuffer.

Well, look here.

My favorite men.

Jimmy, your father
and I had a talk

and we've decided

that as long
as it's for your education

we're going
to postpone our family vacation

and use that money

to order you
your encyclopedia set.

DAD:
Mm-hmm.

Aw. You know what?

I'm over that.

I-I heard
it's not that great anyway

but thanks, though.

( laughing ):
That was close.

Hugh.

Of course, it would have been
for a very... worthy cause.

MOM:
Yes.

Uh, Dad, can I just
ask you a question?

Hmm?

Well, that $50

that you didn't invest
with McSpanky--

what did you spend it on?

Well, son, I spent it
on your mother's wedding ring.

Mm.

And it was all the money
your father had to his name.

Mm-hmm.

You see it's about having
your priorities in order, son.

But, man, if I had
had $100 at the time

we'd be loaded
right now!

Ducks everywhere.

We'd live
in Quackertown.

And I would require
every member

of Quackertown

to have webbed feet
and a duck bill.

I would go to
the doctor myself

and have the webbed
toes put in.

Oh.

Hi. I'm Paul.

JIMMY:
Got to blast!