[instrumental music]
Come on, Nicholas.
We'll be late for school.
I'm not going today.
What do you mean,
you're not going to school?
Nope.
Nicholas, don't you
wanna know everything
you can about the world?
It will never happen.
Every time I figure out
the world
it always changes on me.
Yeah, but that's why
you need an education
because the more
you learn about life
the less it will surprise you.
Now come on. Get dressed.
'You're going to school.'
Nope, not today.
No arguments, Nicholas.
You are going to school.
Alright, if you say so, Abby.
But it won't help
my education.
Well, of course it will,
if you try hard enough.
No matter how hard I try
the schools will
still be closed
and it'll still be Saturday.
Saturday. Oh, Nicholas.
Um, well, you know me
and mornings. I'm sorry.
I'm not. I'm never sorry
when it's Saturday.
See you later, Nicholas.
[theme song]
♪ There's a magic
in the early morning ♪
♪ We've found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles ♪
♪ On everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ Oh eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
♪ Oh we spend our days ♪
♪ Like bright
and shiny new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled ♪
♪ By the changing time ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen window sill ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Hi, general.
How goes the battle?
- Disastrous.
- What do you mean?
We just lost
the two best knights
right out of our marriage.
What are you talking about?
Tuesdays and Thursdays,
they're gone.
How could they be gone?
If I have to work till midnight
they're gone.
Oh, the papers putting you on
some kind of
night shift or something?
No, no, they're putting me
on the faculty.
There's an extension course
in journalism
and the man they have
is resigning, so
they want us to select
a new lecturer
and now she as a publisher
has volunteered me.
That's not a disaster,
that's terrific.
You should be flattered.
Oh, no,
what I am is scared.
What do I know
about teaching?
A lot, you're married
to a teacher.
Oh, but that's only
five nights a week.
You mean, you're gonna let me do
what you're not gonna say
is too hard
on our relationship?
Absolutely not.
I knew two seconds
after I met you
I'll have to share you
with the younger generation.
You mean, you won't write me
out an excuse?
I'm proud of you,
and I'm happy for me.
'Cause I always wanted
to cohabitate
with a distinguished professor.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Well, I didn't know what
fringe benefits there are.
Yeah, there're a few,
so you should listen
and, uh, take notes.
[chuckles]
Dad, that's fabulous.
That journalism class
is really lucky.
Lucky?
I'll stammer through
the first half
and blush through
the second half.
Do you realize
what a class of is?
It's five times as terrifying
as a house of eight.
Oh, come on, dad.
You'll make a terrific teacher.
Sure you will, dad. Look how
perfect all of us turned out.
[laughing]
What's all this about?
Oh, your father is gonna
teach a class
at the university.
- Oh, really? Um, what class?
- Journalism.
Hmm, maybe I'll transfer.
I could use a good grade
in something.
Dad, will you help me
with my nines?
Your what?
You know, nines.
Nine once are nine,
and nine two's are eighteen.
Oh, I'm sorry, Nicholas.
I've to get ready
to teach my first class.
I'm very busy.
Listen, I'll make it
easy on you.
You could help me
with my eight's.
Tonight, I couldn't even
make room for your two's.
Try somebody else.
Alright, you'll be sorry
when I get stuck
in the fourth grade
for a years.
We'll worry about your
some other time.
Please, Nicholas, leave.
[sighs]
Hey, anyone wanna help me
with my nine's?
Shh, we're concentrating.
Come on, I gotta have this paper
in my first period.
Can't you see,
we're studying?
What do you think
I'm trying to do?
Mary, if you'll help me
with my nine's
I'll help you
with your ana-an-anatomy.
It's a anatomy, Nicholas.
Look, I'm-I'll tell you what
why don't you check
the kitchen
maybe somebody in there
needs your help, okay?
Yeah, thanks a lot.
There you go,
works perfectly now.
Doesn't anybody ever stop
studying around here?
Some people can't even
get started.
The way books get
cracked around here
they oughta call this
Bradford College.
David, you remember
much about nine's?
What about nine's?
Well, here,
you hold this book
and I'll tell you
all about nines.
And if I get a little wrong
you can give me some hints.
Uh, yeah,
I've got a date, Nicholas.
I'm sorry, I can't help you
with your homework.
[sighs]
Homework, why do you have to
mention that terrible subject?
Do you need some help, Nancy?
- Not unless you're a psychic.
- Hmm.
I left my sociology book
in Bryan's car
and we have a quiz tomorrow.
Can't you borrow a book?
Not in time to read
six chapters.
I don't believe this family.
If you guys were trying
to memorize Mollier,
I'd be quiet.
Is it really true, you're six
chapters behind in sociology?
Yup.
I thought that was
your favorite course.
Well, it's gotten
very boring lately.
Boring, what do you mean
by boring?
It's like everything else
in college. It's hopeless.
You learn some facts for a test
and you forget 'em.
And then you learn some more
facts and you forget them.
It's like your mind's
a human garbage disposal.
Oh, I see. Are-are you equating
knowledge and garbage?
Of course not, Abby.
Real knowledge isn't garbage.
[sighs]
But the stuff they teach,
it seems like a waste of time.
They never help you
with real life.
Well, if you feel that way,
maybe you shouldn't
roll in some more
relevant courses.
What good will that do?
I couldn't roll
in the perfect class.
I could study hours and the
best thing I could get is a c.
It doesn't have to
be that way, Nancy.
Doesn't it?
You saw my grade
last year.
Passed with a probation.
Face it, Abby.
I'm just not a student.
We're not asking you to, uh
to make straight A's.
Well, I'm asking me.
I'm sick and tired
of being stuck
in the middle
of everybody's list.
I'm in the middle
of the family.
I'm in the middle
of the class.
Isn't there some place
where I can feel superior?
Mm-hmm.
Right here.
See, um, I think that
you're superbly beautiful.
And superbly loving
and a perfect daughter
and friend.
Oh!
Finished typing your
lesson plan. Here, professor.
- Well, there may be a change.
- Again?
Oh, gosh,
it's still busy.
Dana, do you think that
I should start the class off
with a analysis
of the first amendment
or a discussion on electronic
journalism versus print?
Oh, well, if I were you, I'd
start of by taking attendance.
Hey, that's a good idea.
Because if I wait till the end
of the class to take roll
the students will have either
d*ed of boredom or walked out.
Come on, how can you say that?
Everybody knows that
you write the most
non-boring stuff
on this newspaper.
Not counting sports
and comics.
Look, my column has
nothing to do with it.
I-I'm a private writer,
not a public speaker.
Are you kidding?
In your house every time
you open your mouth
your automatically
addressing a crowd.
In my house every time
I open my mouth
I realize that nobody
is listening.
I can't even communicate
by phone.
I don't have a family.
I have the world's longest
busy signal.
[phone dialing]
What's next?
Capital Park Tobacco Shoppy.
------.
Hello, do you have
Prince Albert in a can?
Let him out
before he smothers.
Alright.
Now it's my turn.
I don't think you're ready
yet, Nicholas.
You better watch me
a few more times.
Don't worry,
I'm a fast learner.
Besides people will be
coming home from school soon.
We oughta go to your house.
Nope, my mother likes me
to play over here.
She thinks you're a good
influence on me.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
- Oh, hi, Nancy.
- Oh, hi, Nicholas.
Hi, Irving.
If you want the phone
nobody is using it.
Oh, no, thanks.
Boy, I've never seen
such dumb mail.
[sighs]
Oh, excuse me, sir.
Sir.
- Yes.
- Excuse me.
Do you know where I can find
journalism ?
What room is it in?
Well, I-I remembered it as
but that turned out to be
intermediate stained glass.
You know the name
of the journalism teacher?
Oh, yes, I'm afraid I do.
It's me.
- You're the teacher?
- Yes, I was drafted.
Uh, my name is Tom Bradford.
You're in room ,
Dr. Bradford.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
it's Mr. Bradford.
I can see that now.
Just turn left
and look for the numbers.
Your class started
six minutes ago.
Oh, oh!
[indistinct chattering]
Oh-ho, settle down, settle down.
Come on, now. Settle down.
Does anybody know what
our new teacher looks like?
(all in unison)
No.
Well, I've seen his picture
on his column and..
...I think he's here.
Come on in, Mr. Bradford.
Nice to have you with us.
Thank you.
I'm sorry, I'm late.
Oh, we understand,
Mr. Bradford.
You probably had a big story
to cover, huh?
Yeah, amateur
journalism instructor
gets lost on way to class.
[all laughing]
That's more worse than I thought
I'd say the whole semester.
Well, shall we get to work,
Mr. Bradford?
Hmm? Oh, work!
Uh, yes, uh..
Ready when you are.
(Abby)
'Tom, when are you gonna
believe us'
when we tell you
that you're great?
Well, it wasn't great,
but it was adequate.
And it wouldn't have
even been adequate
if it wasn't for this
young fellow, Ray Davis.
I tell you,
he was such a big help.
After the class was over
I tried to take him out
for coffee, you know?
But I couldn't, he had to
rush off to some job.
Can you b*at that?
Best part of teaching is getting
inspired by your students.
Hmm, I can believe that.
I can also believe
that this whole teaching bit
could actually become
half way enjoyable.
So, maybe someday you and I'll
have his and her classrooms?
Oh, don't count on it.
Once you smell printer's ink
any other perfume
gives you an allergy.
Well, were there any, um,
family crisis
while I was off playing,
uh, Mr. Chips?
Hmm, no, nothing.
Nothing?
Well, we can talk about
it tomorrow.
Oh, crises that are too
upsetting to talk about now
are usually the most upsetting
of all, what happened?
Well, let me just say this, um..
Nancy, is not exactly sharing
your academic success.
Oh, any worse than usual?
Yeah, I would say so,
she's um..
Well, she's very discouraged
about her classes and..
No, she's-she's more than
discouraged, she's depressed.
I guess it's time for
the mid-term pep talk.
Is that, uh, Professor Bradford
or father Bradford talking?
Father Bradford,
he pays the tuition.
Daddy, I know how hard
you have to work
to pay my way through
college and
I really appreciate it.
As a matter of fact,
I'm gonna look for a job
first thing tomorrow.
No, no, no, no, I'm not asking
you to do that.
I'm simply asking you
to try hard
and not to waste
your educational opportunity.
Well, I'm sure there's plenty
of jobs I could get.
Please, put that out
of your mind.
Getting a job would only
interfere with your studies.
I'll take care of the money.
You just get
your grades up higher.
If grades are what are worrying
you, daddy. Forget it.
A job won't hurt my average.
Nothing will.
[dramatic music]
They just notified me.
I didn't pass
my mid-term probation.
Daddy..
...I've flunked out of college.
[music continues]
Hi, I'm Nancy Bradford.
And you said that
my resumes would be
printed by this morning.
Yeah, that's right, Bradford.
Well, they were one page,
triple spaced
and you said to leave out
the part about coming in
fifth for Ms. Sacramento.
Oh, no, no, don't deliver.
I'll be right there
to pick them up.
Okay, thanks a lot, bye-bye.
-'Nancy.'
- Yeah.
Don't you want
some breakfast?
Oh, I'm too excited to eat.
After I get my job,
I'll have an early lunch, okay?
Bye-bye.
(Joannie)
'Good luck.'
(Nancy)
Oh, my poor feet.
Hey, Nancy, you want
some dinner?
Oh, no, I'm too tired
to even think about food.
Oh, I know,
I feel the same way
when I try out for a part.
I think it's the anxiety.
No, it's the walking.
I must have left resumes
in business.
Hey, that's good.
Any offers?
Yeah, lots,
but none for jobs.
What?
Hey, remember
the veterinary hospital?
They're always needing help.
Yeah, I think that was
my best interview.
What you mean,
"You think?"
Well, the doctor kept smiling
at me all the time
but I couldn't hear
a word he was saying.
Why not?
He had this patient,
a Great Dane.
He kept barking
the whole interview
and he kept trying to
bite me.
You don't want that job,
believe me.
Good luck, Nancy.
Better luck tomorrow, huh.
(Nancy)
I'll need it.
I'm gonna be losing
the whole morning
filling out a report
on the fender I smashed
when I was auditioning
as a car park person.
[chuckles]
Hang in there, you'll make it.
Tell that to my feet.
[instrumental music]
Hold it.
Yeah, she just walked in.
Elizabeth, it's for you.
Thanks, Nicholas.
Who is it?
I don't know.
Hello.
[heavy breathing]
I've heard about
people like you.
Don't call here again. My six
brothers are all marines.
Works every time.
I think I'll try it
on Susan.
No, she'll recognize
you breathing.
Oh, it would've made
things easier
if you'd warned me that
Nancy was flunking.
Why is that
our responsibility?
Because a father is always
the last to know.
My gosh, sisters, they share
pantyhose and bathrooms
and secrets of the heart.
Dad, I just think Nancy was
too ashamed to let
on to anybody.
Really, I mean, we all know
how you feel about
college diplomas.
I mean, you almost had
a spaz att*ck
when David decided to quit.
Oh, no, no, no, David
is a different thing.
I mean, he received
wonderful grades
outstanding marks,
a scholarship.
Why any college
in the country would be happy
to accept David tomorrow.
I'll tell you something, if
the construction business ever
losses it's charm, he may wind
up getting several degrees.
Don't count on it, dad.
Uh, you'd be surprise
what a few years
of hard knocks
can do to a person.
Anyway, I'm not worried
about David.
I'm worried about Nancy.
And Elizabeth, and Tommy,
and Nicholas.
Wait a minute, what do
Elizabeth, and Tommy
and Nicholas have to do with
Nancy copping-out on college?
A family survives
on good examples.
Ah, yes,
the old domino theory.
"If one Bradford falls
the entire clan will crumble."
Oh, dad you don't believe that,
do you?
Eternal vigilance
is the price of sanity.
Before you become a parent
you have to write
that times.
Oh, come on, dad.
Look at us.
I mean, we are not dominos.
We will stay in school.
Oh, well, you better
and if you ever get tempted
just keep an eye on Nancy,
because job hunting is the most
terrifying human endeavor
next to m*llitary combat.
The only thing worse
is unemployment.
Nancy, say's anything
is better than homework.
There's one thing, no work.
Where is everybody?
Tom?
A-Abby, we're here.
Oh, I-I found them.
A few weeks of being battered
around in the rat race
and Nancy will be begging
to get back into college.
Important news everybody,
listen to this.
- Dad, I found a job.
- You what?
(Nancy)
Imagine my second day.
I would've quit college
ages ago if I had've known
how easy it is to enter the
glamorous world of business.
[hammering]
Are you sure that this is
the glamorous world of business?
See, this is the exact
same address
the employment agency
gave me.
Isn't it exciting?
Looks so...industrial.
It looks to me like they
can't pay their bills.
Are you sure you wanna
go through with this?
Of course, daddy,
I mean, it isn't everyone
who gets a job
just dropped in their laps.
I don't know if I want
a daughter of mine
working in this
commercial slum.
Oh, come on, you gotta
let me do it.
The agency has a reputation
to protect.
Willaby Plumbing needs me,
I gave him my word.
Besides, I thought you
raised us never to quit.
Oh, did I?
Well, then what about college?
I didn't quit, daddy.
I flunked.
No, you just
stopped trying.
But you don't have
to stay stopped.
There are ways to get you
back into college.
Forget it.
I'll feel much more at home
out here in
the business world.
Thank you for delivering me.
Tomorrow, I'll take the bus.
[engine whirring]
It's a switchboard, isn't it?
[laughs]
That is % correct.
You know how to work it?
Oh, I've had years of experience
with telephones.
Terrific.
Uh, here's our, uh,
personnel list
and their extension numbers.
You know, the last three girls
memorize it in the morning.
- Three girls?
- Yeah.
You know, some young people
don't wanna work.
I mean, you give them an
opportunity and they abuse it.
Not me, Mr. Willaby.
Not me.
Oh, I could tell that, honey.
You're a class kind of person.
I can see great things
for you here.
Any questions?
Just one.
Could you tell me
where the powder room is?
[whispering]
Sure.
It's over there.
That says "Men."
Well, actually it should
read, "Knock."
See, if you knock and
a man doesn't answer
it's your powder room.
[laughing]
[telephone buzzing]
Willaby Wholesale Plumbing,
good morning.
You'll get
the hang of it, honey.
Maybe, we'll have lunch.
[instrumental music]
[telephone buzzing]
Willaby Wholesale Plumbing,
good morning.
It's tragic.
I mean, it's absolutely tragic.
Do you realize that Nancy
could wind-up
spending her whole life
as a...secretary?
Please, I'm in no mood
for irony.
Right, uh, listen, Dana
would you please shut up
and get some coffee?
Well, of course,
how do you take it?
Black, cream, sugar,
how about a little milk? Okay.
- Oh, excuse me.
- Yeah.
I want to see
Mr. Bradford.
Ray, for Pete's sakes.
Come on in, son.
What are you doing here?
Well, I had some business
in the building
and I thought I'd say hello.
Oh, that's good.
Sit down.
What kind of business?
Oh, with your building
supervisor.
Oh, Lloyd Davis and sons,
maintenance service, huh?
My father and brother.
We do windows.
[laughs]
We service four buildings
on this block and..
...we've been trying to
get The Register's
contract for over a year.
Oh, very good,
well, I'll put in, uh..
recommendation for you,
for what it's worth.
I'd appreciate that,
Mr. Bradford.
But actually I came to ask
you a more personal favor.
Oh.
Is there any extra work
I can do
to help me get an A
in your class?
You mean, like, write a special
report or something?
Oh, anything to boost
my semester's average.
I'm hovering around at ..
Boy, that's pretty
good hovering.
Let me, uh, work out
the requirements
and I'll get back to you.
I'd appreciate it.
- Thanks, Mr. Bradford.
- Okay.
Oh, listen, let me get
something straight.
Now you-you work all day
you attend college at night and
you still get a . average?
No, sometimes I work days,
attend college and work nights.
- I'm really impressed.
- And I'm really tired.
[laughing]
But it's the only way
I can swing it.
Yeah.
See you in class,
Mr. Bradford.
See you, Raymond.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye
- He's quite a fellow.
- Huh, you noticed.
Doesn't seem fair that he has to
work so hard for his education.
Some people want it,
and some people don't.
And that's not fair
to fathers.
[telephone buzzing]
Willaby Wholesale Plumbing.
No, I'm sorry, sir,
Mr. Willaby's line is busy.
Would you please hold?
Thank you.
[sighs]
[knocking on door]
Hello, anybody in there?
[telephone buzzing]
Willaby Wholesale Plumbing.
Oh, it's you.
Still on hold, huh?
Uh, no, I haven't exactly
forgotten you, sir.
Hold on.
Well, I'm sorry, sir, but there
are people who've been calling
who haven't even been
put on hold yet.
[birds chirping]
[door shuts]
Are you really sure
you want these?
This physiology text
was published in .
Well, the human body's changed
very little since .
Besides, it made Dr. Max
very happy to give them to me.
No, he was happy
because he didn't have to pay
to have them hauled
to the dump.
- How'd I get talked into this?
- Very skillfully.
Now, would you please
open up your arms
and I will load them up?
[groans]
Anything else,
oh, omnipotent master?
Yeah, why don't you
talk to Nancy
about going back
to college?
Why me?
Because she'd value
your opinion, David.
I mean, you know exactly
what problems she'll face
without a diploma.
What problems?
Besides being conned
into playing a pack mule?
Don't tell me it's been
easy for you, David.
I've been there helping you
scramble for the rent money.
I've seen you miss out on jobs
and, and I've heard your
best friends put you down.
Is that what you want
for your little sister?
Nancy is entitled
to choose her own future.
It's not just Nancy.
Dad's worried that the
two of you are gonna
start a new family trend.
Did you ever see any trend
agreed on by this family?
'Now you can either
drop the subject'
or get an armload of books
dropped on your toe.
Nancy's got her own style
and people seem to like it.
Besides, she could turn out
to be a business dynamo.
Hey, Bradford,
why did you keep
Lynn Tracy on hold
for minutes?
- Who?
- Only our best customer.
That's who.
He almost cancelled the order.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Well, sorry isn't enough.
- Here.
- W-what's this?
Your check for
six and a third hours
plus severance.
You're fired.
[sighs]
(Abby)
Did you tell daddy?
- Is he just furious?
- Surprisingly enough.
Uh, daddy couldn't be happier.
Oh, I get it,
you're making me feel guilty
with some kind of
reverse psychology, huh?
Oh, no, Nancy,
I mean it.
I think that your bad experience
at Willaby Plumbing today
was probably the best thing
that could've happened to you.
Well, it didn't feel
that way to me, dad.
But why? I mean,
isn't it obvious to you?
In one short day you learned
how rough it can be
out in the business world
when you don't have skills
or special talents to offer.
Okay, now you learned
that lesson
so now go back to college.
- No, dad.
- Yes.
I can't believe this.
You always taught us
to be fair.
Well, I gave college more
than a year to prove itself.
I think that
the business world
deserves more
than one dumb day!
Excuse me, now that
your expl*si*n is over with
I'm gonna go call
the employment agency.
Well, if that isn't
reverse psychology.
How come I was just reversed?
I hate to say this but, uh..
Well, Tom, maybe Nancy
needs to win
an argument with her father
right now.
- Oh, come on, Abby.
- No, no, no, I'm serious.
I mean, at least
it's a kind of success.
I mean, do you realize that
in the, in the past two days
she's, um, well, she's been
flunked out of college
and she's lost her first job?
Well, then why should she go
right back out there
and get clobbered again?
Couldn't you at least
admire her courage?
I'll remind you of that remark
in a day or so..
...when she's sobbing
her heart out.
Is your refrigerator running?
Well, tell it to
jog around the kitchen.
Hey, guys,
get off the phone.
I was just calling my mother.
- I don't like her to worry.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, do you think
she could worry
for about two more minutes?
I need it for business.
Thank you.
Hm.
Doesn't she realize
there are people in this world
that would give anything
to have a college education?
Hm, college is
not the issue.
What's important is
having Nancy find something
that will give her
a sense of accomplishment.
There's this young man
in my class..
Wait a minute.
That's the answer.
Okay. Well, thanks, anyway.
Yeah, bye.
- We should water them.
- Yeah, right away.
- Yeah.
- Oh, hi, Nance. How'd it go?
- I resigned.
- What?
Well, there's just no future
in wholesale plumbing.
Oh, hello, Ray.
Uh, this is Tom Bradford.
No, I haven't worked out
your extra-credit assignment.
Yeah, but I will.
I-I-I was wondering
if you'd like to come over
to the house tonight
for dinner.
Well, we could discuss
your college career.
I have a feeling that it
might be very inspiring.
- Your dad's still talking.
- Shh.
Last time he found out somebody
was listening in on his calls
we almost got
the phone taken out.
No sweat,
he just hung up.
Alright, next call
Terry Oldham's house.
Right.
- Are your lights burning?
- Then call the fire department.
[laughing]
(Joannie)
'Set another place, Elizabeth.'
(Elizabeth)
'Who's coming to dinner?'
(Joannie)
'Dad just said guest.'
(Tom)
'The only reason I asked
Ray to dinner tonight was'
he's a very hard man
to make an appointment with.
Would you believe
that aside from working
up to hours a day,
he also attends the university?
Really? What kind of work
do you do, Ray?
Oh, my dad, brother and I,
we have a maintenance service
for commercial buildings.
Wow! You have your own
family business?
Mm-hmm.
Isn't that something?
Ray here, he scrubs floors,
washes down walls
'empties wastebaskets'
anything he can do
to help earn him a chance
at going to college.
Well, actually, Mr. Bradford
I mostly supervise
and dispatch the trucks.
We employ over people
for the actual cleaning work.
Hey, that's terrific!
Do you realize
that service industries
are the biggest growth segment
in the economy?
What does that mean?
Oh, that means
Ray here is cleaning up.
[laughing]
How do you feel
about having to work so hard
to go to school, Ray?
That's pretty
obvious, isn't it?
W-w-why do you
say that, Nancy?
Well, it must be
really frustrating.
If you didn't have to worry
about homework and tests
you could concentrate
on your business.
In a year's time you could have
people working for you.
Hey, then you could franchise
and then maybe roll into
some of the really big cities
like LA and Frisco.
That's where the big bucks are.
Tommy, this conversation
is not about you.
(Nancy)
'I really envy you, Ray.'
You're sitting on
a fabulous opportunity.
I just can't see why you're
wasting your time in school.
Well, I don't feel
that way, Nancy.
Raymond obviously feels
that he needs a good education
to fulfill his potential.
That's why
he's staying in college.
Maybe you should
think about that, too.
Oh, I have been
thinking about it.
I have a suggestion.
And I'm sure we all wanna hear
your suggestion, too, Nancy.
Well, you wouldn't have to work
such long hours
if you just hired me
as your assistant.
All those who have
not lost their appetites
may now eat.
Well, are you sure
this is the right thing to do?
I mean, maybe if you let me
talk to her first.
You did talk to her. I talked
to her, Ray Davis talked to her.
Now it's time for Nancy
to do what she's supposed to do.
I don't wanna hear
another word about it.
- Good-bye.
- Bye.
- Are you ready?
- Does it matter?
Yes, it does matter,
young lady.
I'm sticking my neck out
with these people at the college
so that you can get
a second chance.
And the least you can do
is be prepared for it.
All my papers are here.
Alright, now,
do you know who to ask for?
Yes. Ms. Evans,
the assistant registrar.
Now we're getting someplace.
[engine starts]
Alright, Nancy, take this
application for re-instatement
along with this
approval from me
to each of your instructors
with their signature.
After you have them signed,
return them to me
and then I can give you
your new class admittance slips.
- Thank you, Ms. Evans.
- Good luck, Nancy.
I'm sure you can
work this out.
I could tell from the phone
conversation with your father
that he is very much
behind you.
That can mean everything
to a marginal student
like you.
[instrumental music]
Sorry, daddy
I'm not marginal.
I'm not.
Why, Nancy?
In the name
of sweet common sense
whatever possessed you
to just dump your future
in the trash like this?
I just couldn't
go back there, daddy.
School hates me and I hate it.
Oh, so now what happens?
You're gonna go back to some
place like Willaby Plumbing?
That wasn't exactly
a mutual love, you know?
I knew you'd bring that up.
Well, I mean,
we have to face the facts!
I mean, uh,
it's not a party out there.
People are spending
most of their lives
working at something
that they hate!
And even finding underpaid
misery can take months!
Well, I already have a lead
on a real fun job.
Frankly, Nancy, I think
you should stop worrying
about having fun.
Start worrying about
earning money.
It hasn't been easy for me
to pay for your education.
I don't think
that I can afford to have you
sitting around the house
doing nothing.
If you're not gonna
go to school
you have to
support yourself!
I think I can support
myself very well
on a week!
Come on, -year-old girls
don't earn $ a week.
Actually, the ad says
" to ." Read it.
"Go-go dancer?"
I think I have to serve
a few drinks also.
Not my daughter!
Well, you told me
to get a job!
That's not a job!
No daughter of mine is gonna
parade around in public
in half a costume!
That's why it's $
a week, daddy.
You don't wear any costume!
[instrumental music]
I don't believe
that little twerp.
Is this really
Nicholas Bradford?
- Who's this?
- This is the telephone company.
We've had a number of
complaints about you.
Me? Really?
Yes, Mr. Bradford,
that's correct.
According to
our computer monitor
you've been making calls
from this number
and annoying
a great many people.
Do you admit to this crime?
What do we say?
Tell them they got
the wrong number.
- And I'm not even here.
- You got the..
We have recorded your telephone
conversations, Mr. Bradford
and those of your
slimy accomplice.
We have made positive
identification
and I must warn you
that this will be used
as evidence against you
in your trial.
Trial? What trial?
(Tommy)
'I'm glad you asked
that question, Mr. Bradford'
'because now I'm going
to let you talk to the man'
'who'll be making
your arrest.'
Agent Scott of the FBI.
Nicholas Bradford
what you have been doing
is a serious violation
of the Federal
Communications Act.
What if someone's house
caught fire
while you were tying up
their telephone
just to play a joke?
- How would you feel?
- Pretty bad, I guess.
The telephone is not a toy.
If the FBI hears once more
that you're using it
to perpetrate a bad joke
'you'll be subject
to a lengthy prison sentence.'
(David)
'Is that clear to you
and your criminal accomplice?'
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.
Remember..
...the FBI is on your trail.
Wow!
You never told me
we'd get in trouble.
How was I supposed to know
the FBI can't take a joke?
- See you later, Nicholas.
- Where are you going?
Don't ask. I'm on the lam
till it heats off.
On the lam?
[door shuts]
I don't understand,
I mean you act
like it doesn't
really matter if Nancy
has a college education
and you're a teacher.
Teachers meet lots of
young people like Nancy.
They're bright, they're
personable and they're ambitious
and they, and they need
some place other than college
to help them find themselves.
And they do, too,
millions of them
like your own son, David,
for example.
Why does everybody in this house
always bring up David?
Oh, Tom, a college degree
is not, is not magic.
It's not a, a lifetime ticket
to success, you know?
No, but I'd rather
see Nancy
out job hunting
with a diploma
than dancing
without a costume.
Oh..
Well, maybe if we really
put our heads together
we can find something
that will make you both proud.
You know, Abby,
you missed the whole point.
I mean, when I accepted
the responsibility
of bringing eight children
into this world
I pledged that each child
would have every advantage
that a father could provide
within reason.
And reason dictated
a college education.
And that's very commendable
of you, Tom, it really is
but that was your pledge.
I mean, did you consult Nancy?
Was she even born
when you made it?
[door opens]
I'm sorry to interrupt ya
but Ray Davis is here
to see you.
Oh, why now?
I've been too busy
with Nancy's problem
to think about
his extra-credit homework.
Tell him I'll bring it to him
tomorrow night.
I think you should
see him, Tom.
Frankly, Abby, I-I find it
very hard at this moment
to face an ambitious student.
It makes me wonder where
I've gone wrong as a father.
But don't go wrong
as a teacher.
See him.
[door opens]
[door shuts]
Ray, I-I'm terribly sorry
but I haven't done any more
on that extra-credit assignment.
That's alright,
Mr. Bradford.
It's not important.
Oh, sure, keeping up
a . average
is really important.
I mean, students like you
are very rare these days.
Well, I guess they're
getting rarer, Mr. Bradford.
I'm afraid I'm dropping out
of the university.
[door opens]
- Here's a fresh towel, Nancy.
- Thanks.
I'll never find a job
looking like this.
Yes, you will.
You can be a professional
crier at weddings.
Oh, what if daddy's right?
What if I never find
a decent job?
Well, maybe you better take
another look at marriage.
To one of those creeps
I've been dating? No, thanks.
Well, maybe you better find
a better class of creeps.
Susan, at a time like this
who wants to support
a husband?
[all laughing]
Ray, I'm sorry that I
brought you over here.
I had no idea that my daughter,
Nancy, was so persuasive.
But you can't quit college,
you just can't quit.
I'm afraid I have to
and it has nothing to do
with Nancy.
It's my parents.
They insist I drop out.
Why would any parent
insist on a thing like that?
My brother's hurt his back
and they need me
to take over his job.
In my family..
...the business
comes first.
Well, can't you come back
to school when he gets well?
Who knows?
You see, my dad
he's done very well
without a diploma.
He says there's a great business
with my name on it.
So why do I need it
on a piece of paper?
I don't know, he..
He just doesn't understand,
Mr. Bradford.
- Could you talk to him?
- Me?
Oh, gosh, I don't..
Do you think
I would do any good?
You're my teacher.
I gotta keep remembering that.
If I give him the same father
speech I've using on Nancy..
...you'll never
get back to school.
- Oh, uh, Mr. Lloyd Davis?
- That's right.
Oh, hi.
I'm Tom Bradford.
I think Raymond made
an appointment for us.
You and Ray
may call it that.
Frankly, I see it
as a waste of time.
We've ten minutes
to get to that next client.
- So hurry up.
- I certainly hope it isn't.
Is there someplace
that we could go and talk?
Uh, Ray may have told you that
we're shorthanded
around here these days.
Make sure you have
everything you need.
I can give you
five minutes.
Five minutes to discuss
your son's total future?
Help Marvin load the truck.
Okay.
Tell me about Ray's future.
Well, uh, I think that he has
an outstanding future
in journalism.
And speaking as his teacher
I think that he should
really stay in college.
After all,
that's what Ray wants.
Can you promise him a job
when he graduates?
Well, no, of course not,
I, uh..
But I'll tell you one thing,
Mr. Davis.
I'd very proud to help him
find one when he gets out
but that's three years
from now.
In three years,
we'd be a $-million company
and Ray will be
all set for life.
Not the life he wants.
But a lot better life
than I ever had.
Look around you,
Mr. Bradford.
I started with one broom.
Now I got ten trucks.
And I own this building.
I'm very impressed,
I really am, I mean that.
But you're asking him
to throw it all away
to go traipsing off
to God knows where
just as if his family
doesn't exist
and this business
doesn't exist.
Correction. He's asking.
Because he's young
because he doesn't realize
what it takes
to build something like this.
I need his help,
I can't let this business die.
I built it for my sons.
That's your dream, Mr. Davis.
- Has Ray even been consulted?
- What?
As someone asked me
a very short time ago
was he even born
when you got the idea?
What difference
does that make?
The difference is seeing
our children as they really are
or as the way
we want them to be.
What I don't see
is the point of all of this.
I didn't either
the first time I heard it.
What?
We better postpone this meeting,
Mr. Davis.
My ears can't believe
what my mouth is saying.
[instrumental music]
Nancy, is there anything wrong
with being a supermarket
bagging person?
I mean, all's you do
is put something in
instead of take it out.
You mean I'm too dense
to do something else?
- Tommy was joking!
- Tommy was serious.
Is there a law against
trying to help?
Well, then let me
put it this way.
Tommy's serious suggestion
is totally laughable.
to qualify for manual labor.
We're gonna find you
something you'll be proud of.
Forget it, Abby,
I don't belong in this world.
First, I flunk out
of college
then I flunk out
of life.
I don't belong
in this century.
Oh, Nancy,
it's not such a bad century.
I mean, considering the fact
that it's totally confusing
and extremely complicated.
That's for sure.
Daddy, please don't give me
another lecture
on how right you were.
But I was right,
but for the wrong person
and being right
for the wrong person
is as wrong as being wrong
for the right person. Uh..
Oh, never mind.
Here.
- What's this?
- Read it.
"Zimmerman, Miller,
Ackerman and Sanchez?"
Yes, the third one over
from the left.
That's Greg Maxwell's lawyer.
Call 'em.
Daddy, you can't legally force
me to go back to college.
Now, just listen, young lady.
This would be
a much better world
if people would only listen.
Particularly when
they're thinking of things
that they refuse
to listen to.
Now, this Mr. Ackerman's looking
for a nice, young receptionist.
Apply for the job.
You're playing
some kind of trick.
No, it's no trick,
I'm just trying to bring up
my failing grades
in fatherhood, so help me.
- Send him a resume.
- You mean it, daddy?
You're really trying
to help me get a job?
Well, if you'd be
interested in, uh
beautiful offices
handsome junior partners
enough pay to keep
even you in blouses.
I can't believe it.
You're actually helping me?
Well, it might help
if you tell Mr. Ackerman
that you're
Tom Bradford's daughter.
Tom Bradford's daughter?
Yeah.
And whatever happens tomorrow..
...that's a permanent position.
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chattering]
Um, you might change that.
Abby, read this report
and tell me
if I graded it fairly?
- B plus.
- B plus?
I thought it sure deserved
an A.
Oh, it does deserve an A,
but, uh
your marginal comments
deserve B plus.
Oh, don't mention it
to Ray Davis
or he might transfer
to another teacher.
Is Ray back in school?
Yeah, your dad gets A
in persuasion.
No, in cribbing. It was
your speech I gave his father.
My speech?
Huh, how much do you
really have to know
to program a computer?
I thought you were happy
in the lawyer's office?
Just looking
to the future, dad.
Advancement's been
pretty slow.
Oh, well, advancement
is usually pretty slow
after only four days.
[telephone ringing]
I'll get it.
Hello?
Oh, very funny.
- Who was that?
- Oh, just a dumb prank call.
I think I'll go call Irving.
I haven't seen Irving around
for a while.
Well, I think he's back.
[theme music]
[music continues]
03x06 - The Flunked and the Funked
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The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.