[audio logo]
[racing cars]
ANNOUNCER: So it's the last
day of the Bonzer Rally
here in the Land Down Under.
And Archie Vainglorious is
still the driver to b*at.
[energetic music]
Oh, come on.
ANNOUNCER: It looks like
Team Hot Spots race has just
been cut short.
[energetic music]
What did I tell you, folks?
Nobody's been able to
get close to Vainglorious
since the amazing Gnash
mysteriously stopped racing.
Thank you.
ANNOUNCER: So that's
one more rally cap
for Archie Vainglorious.
ZHI: Legend, champ.
One day, I'm going
to be the champ.
Rebel.
[energetic music]
[bike bell]
Yeah!
Woo-hoo!
Yeah!
Once again, it's time for the
annual Slow Loris Day Festival
here in the--
ZHI: Yeah!
Coming through!
We have a new champion!
The crowd is going wild!
The crown is on its--
oh.
Weirdo.
How shameful for your granny.
That was the coolest
thing I've ever seen.
Really?
Totally.
I really like your helmet.
Thanks.
I painted it myself.
It's a soup pot.
(WHISPERING) I know.
By the way, I'm Zhi.
Hi, I'm--
GRANNY BAI: Zhi-zhi.
Uh-oh, hide me, please.
How many times do
I have to tell you?
You need to stop with your
foolish racing fantasies.
[speaking chinese]
Granny Bai, Granny Bai.
Uhm, nice meeting you.
GRANNY BAI: I swear he's
just a stubborn as you were.
Look at it, my best soup pot.
[speaking chinese]
I don't get it, mama.
Everyone thinks I'm a weirdo
when I'm just being me.
And Granny, she
doesn't get me at all.
She just makes me
practice Tai Chi.
Tai Chi is how we
learn to slow down
the world by allowing the breath
of life to flow through us.
[deep breathing]
Whoa.
And she makes me trim plants.
GRANNY BAI: The
tree just knows how
to grow, the leaves to bloom.
This is their [chinese].
The question you must answer
is, what is your [chinese]??
ZHI (VOICEOVER):
But I don't care
about that kind of stuff, mama.
I just want to race.
Mama, mama!
I got a slot in tonight's race.
And I know I can win this one.
Oh, hey, don't tell Granny, OK?
Who's racing?
I'm racing.
Who's racing?
I'm racing.
Who's racing?
This guy.
I am racing.
Whoa!
[sigh]
ANNOUNCER: And it
looks like it's
going to be a drag race into the
final stretch with Local Loris
VE on the move.
He finds his pocket.
And he takes the lead.
This is it.
I got this.
I totally got this.
Oh!
ANNOUNCER: Ooh, and with no
one to blame but himself,
that has got to sting.
GNASH: Hey, kid.
Why the cloudy face?
Oh, hey, Gnash.
I saw you out there tonight.
You looked pretty good.
I think you might need
to get your glasses fixed.
I learned long ago to
trust my gut, not my eyes.
Ooh.
Pretty good, right?
OK, how about this one?
Winners are always winning
even when they're losing.
Hmm, I-- I got to go.
[sad music]
Do we have to do this?
Yes, your [chinese]
is blocked again.
[deep breathing]
Hey, check it out.
Tai Chi with a beetle--
Tai Chitle.
[gasp]
Wow.
Tai Chitle is not a thing.
Off you go.
I'm begging your
pardon, Granny Bai.
I'm worried about you.
When will you find
your [chinese]??
How do you know I haven't?
Because [chinese] is
the path to harmony.
And this, this is
not harmonious.
What if that's because
I have a different path?
And this is it.
It's just a loop--
a never-ending loop of
humiliation and rejection.
What if this is my harmony?
It's not.
[expl*si*n]
Whoa!
What is going on?
What the--
That's it.
That's it.
Down it goes.
Vainglorious Industries?
Like Archie Vainglorious?
ARCHIE VAINGLORIOUS (ON
PHONE): Congratulations.
Your lovely home has
been hand-selected
by me, Archie Vainglorious,
for temporary repossession
and extreme demolition.
Demolition?
ARCHIE VAINGLORIOUS (ON
PHONE): Yes, demolition.
Echo, diabolical laugh.
[evil laugh]
ARCHIE VAINGLORIOUS (ON
PHONE): Have a nice day.
How can they do this?
[crying]
No.
Don't cry, Granny.
This has to be some kind
of misunderstanding.
I'm going to go and try
to sort this out somehow.
Whoa!
ANNOUNCER: And Archie
Vainglorious has just
taken the Bonzer Rally Cup.
What the?
Whoa, that's a big toad.
[intense music]
Huh?
Right, who are you?
And who let you in?
Oh, hi.
My name's Zhi.
But usually, people call me Zhi.
I'm a-- I'm a huge fan.
Of course, you are.
[scream]
Congratulations, you met
me, Archie Vainglorious.
OK.
Thanks, but I actually
came for something else.
I'm from the Slow Loris Village.
And I want to talk
about my Granny's house.
I think there's been
a misunderstanding.
I mean, what would a cane
toad and a legendary racer
like you even want with
the Slow Loris Village?
Nothing.
That's why I'm going
to plant and flood it.
Let me show you.
Muddy Meadows-- luxury, high-end
swamplands for the posh toad
set.
Muddy Meadows?
To test it better
than Funky Fields.
But it's the last Slow
Loris Village in China.
How can you even be
allowed to do this?
Quite easily, actually,
because who really
knows what a Slow Loris is?
Hey, now, if you were
pandas, forget about it.
But slow lorises?
Please, who even cares?
I do!
OK, OK, no need to get
your nickels in a twist.
You and your Granny still
have 10 days to pay.
10 days?
We can't raise this
much money in 10 days.
Well, in that case--
[yelp]
Huh?
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hey, hey, wait.
Oh, coming soon.
Ah The Silk Road Rally,
Kashgar to Shanghai.
Oh, it's going to be epic.
It's a little
presumptuous, isn't it?
Building a trophy case?
I mean, you haven't
even won yet.
But I will.
Let me break it down
for you, fellow.
Daddy, grandaddy,
my imbecile brothers
helped me join in
on the business.
Help us bump the numbers.
Real estate is boring.
It's really quite a blunder.
So they bring the coins
while I bring the thunder.
The fastest car, I got it.
Your village, I bought it.
It makes my daddy proud to
have our name and all on it.
Rally after rally, knocking
trophies down like pins.
Plain and simple, loris,
Vainglorious wins.
The album drops next year.
You seem pretty confident
you're going to win.
Willing to stake a bet on it?
What do you have in mind?
If I win the cup--
Wait!
You?
You are the one who
is personally going
to be doing the b*ating of me?
I laugh at the idea.
[laugh]
[laughter]
I know it's crazy.
Sorry, little champ.
You were saying?
If I win, you give me
the deed to Granny's house
free and clear.
Such hutzpah, I love it!
I accept your bet.
But if I win, you become
the face of Muddy Meadows.
Me?
But I'm not a toad.
No, but you are
toad-ally adorable.
See you at the starting
line, slow loris.
Slow loris.
Super nice guy.
I look forward to
annihilating him.
Why the long face, kid?
I kind of have to sort of race
the Silk Road Rally and win it.
The Silk Road Rally?
Oh, that the race
is no holds barred.
200 miles per hour
for four days straight
across unforgiving terrain
against the craziest drivers
in the world.
Yeah, so why would you
want to get mixed up
in the kamikaze
mission like that?
Because it's
the only sh*t I've
got as saving our house
from becoming Muddy Meadows.
I don't follow.
If I don't win that
cup, Vainglorious Industry
is going to tear down our house.
Vainglorious?
As in Archie Vainglorious?
I know!
How am I going to b*at the
best racer in the world?
[scoff]
[sigh] I'm in way
over my head, Gnash.
Our home is all we have.
It's my mom's final
resting place.
Hmm.
All right, kid, come with me.
Whoa!
This place is awesome.
You were a race car driver?
I've been lots of things.
So this is how I see it, kid.
You are like this part.
You got everything you need,
but it's just a tangled up mess.
It can't do you any good.
But you and me
together, looking good.
Nice, looking real good.
Together, there ain't
nothing we can't do.
[engine starts]
Together like me and you?
Yeah, I've probably seen
every one of your crisis--
I mean, races.
You have?
You've got raw talent.
And you've got guts, but
you're missing something.
I can help you find it.
But only if you're
willing to listen.
No questions asked.
You would do that?
But why?
OK, that was two questions
right off the line there.
What part of no questions
asked did you not understand?
Hey, the heart of a champion
beats in all of us, kid.
See you tomorrow.
That apple really didn't fall
far from the tree, did it?
I know.
I know.
I said I was walking away
for good, but he's your son.
What am I supposed to do?
Birds got to fly.
Fishes got to swim.
And the goat-- well, a
goat has got to race.
So Zhi-zhi, how did
it go with Vainglorious?
Yeah, good.
Very good.
Yeah, I have it under control.
Just leave it-- leave it at me.
I just have to go
away for a while.
Go away?
Where?
To How to Defeat an
Evil Cane Toad TedTalk?
I got to go.
See you later, Granny.
You do know that when he lies
to me, his left eye twitches.
Exactly the same way yours did.
[chuckle]
OK, kid.
Let's talk about your last race.
It was yours to win, but then--
Ugh.
So what happened?
Do you see that guy's car?
If I had a car like that--
[horn sound]
What the?
Cars don't win races.
Drivers do.
Although, yeah, we actually
are going to need a car.
What?
Appearance is an illusion.
It's what's inside that counts.
[cake, "the distance"]
Reluctantly crouched
at the starting line.
Engines pumping and
thumping in time.
The green light flashes.
The flames go up.
Churning and burning,
they yearn for the cup.
They deftly maneuver
and muscle for rank.
Fuel burning fast
on an empty t*nk.
Reckless and wild, they
pour through the turns.
Their prowess is potent
and secretly stern.
As they speed through the
finish, the flags go down.
The fans get up.
And they get out of town.
The sun has gone down.
And the moon has gone up.
A long ago, somebody
left with the cup.
But he's driving and striving
and hugging the turns
and thinking of someone--
OK, let's see what you got.
[cake, "the distance]
He's going the distance.
He's going for speed.
She's all alone.
All alone.
It's just like
in his last race.
The moment he takes
the lead, he chokes.
The key to winning is focusing
on the road ahead of you.
[screaming]
GNASH: Also, not crashing
into walls is good.
He always gets nervous
when he's ahead.
ZHI: Oh, oh, oh.
Whoa!
Maybe if I hold him back--
that's it!
Not yet.
Not yet.
Now.
That was awesome!
Go, Gnash.
Yeah.
Yeah, I like it.
Pathetic.
Moronic.
Beyond ridiculous.
Oh, this is too easy.
Seahorses?
Seriously?
Hold the line.
Who's this?
The Amazing Gnash?
Right.
Well, you're not nearly as
dead as I thought you were.
Hmm, this is quite the wrinkle.
If you're in the
race, I could lose.
It's V.
What do you want?
I'm ready for you to
repay me that favor.
Neil will be in touch
with further instructions.
[laugh]
[chatter]
[evil laughter]
[upbeat music]
ABBY JACKS: Welcome race
fans to the Silk Road Rally.
I am Abby Jacks.
And with me, at the repeated
request of my husband,
is my sister-in-law,
Juni Hakansdotter.
Hey, that's me.
ABBY JACKS: And hailing from
India, India's team, Tandem.
I wonder how they
put their pants on.
And there they are,
the British Invasion.
And straight out of South
Central, China, Bling
and Bling.
[crowd cheering]
ANNOUNCER: Good
morning race fans
and welcome to the main event.
Ha-ha!
[music playing]
Who let the frog out?
I got him.
Who let the frog out?
Who let the frog out?
ABBY JACKS: And,
of course, no race
would be complete
without an entry
from Britain's notorious,
Team Vainglorious.
Oh, he looks slimy.
Come on, kid.
Let's get out of here.
Hey.
[speaking italian]
I'm just so excited.
By Vainglorious?
No, by this.
I'm due in less than two weeks.
Wait.
What?
I'm pregnant.
Oh, man, we are
such a miracles, eh?
Oh, I'm Berpe,
Team Wet Lightning.
Oh, hi, nice to meet you.
I'm Zhi.
Berpe, would you get your
sweet little tail over here?
Race is about to start.
That's my Adalina.
[italian], good luck out there.
ABBY JACKS: Long before the
internet connected the world,
there was the
legendary Silk Road.
A road that's made of silk?
I can't believe this.
No, it's not made of--
forget it.
The course is a 4,000 clickhorse
straight across China.
The race will take place in
four legs over four days.
And the race with the shortest
overall time takes the cup.
Other than that,
there are no rules.
And as the race is
wide at the line,
they're all thinking
the same thing.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER:
Did I remember
to put on my
fireproof underpants?
ABBY JACKS: No, just
for one brief moment,
it's still anyone's cup.
Remember Vainglorious
drives dirty.
And he doesn't waste any time.
Trust me.
Are you ready, Zhi?
Ready?
All right, fellas.
Let's go.
ABBY JACKS: Vainglorious
wastes no time
trying to clear the field.
Look out!
Ah!
[expl*si*n]
You weren't kidding.
That toad is crazy.
You said you wanted to
race the Silk Road Rally.
Welcome to it.
ABBY JACKS: And the races
begin to make their way
across the Taklamakan Desert.
You're supposed to
be out of the race.
Supposed to be.
Ah!
Get it off!
Get it off!
Ah, new idea.
Echoes, att*ck.
ABBY JACKS: And here comes
Argentina's Team Kale
driving a car with no
steering wheel at all.
Ah!
ABBY JACKS: Holy
molly, newbie team
Muddy Meadows just took
the lead from Vainglorious.
Enjoy the moment, loris.
It will not last.
Diabolical laugh.
[evil laugh]
[music playing]
Oh, yeah!
I can't get him off my tail.
All right, kid.
It's all about focus now.
Enter the zone.
No distraction.
OK, I get it.
Hey, is that a loris?
I'm pretty sure it's
a loris right there.
Gee, focus.
Whoa!
Whoa!
You're right.
That is a loris.
We should stop.
What?
I was to say we just-- stop!
ARCHIE VAINGLORIOUS:
Total loser!
ABBY JACKS: Unbelievable!
The lead car just
chucked to U-ey.
What are you doing?
No questions asked.
You agreed.
Gnash!
Oh, come on, Gnash.
Get back here.
Hmm?
What--
Hey, Neil.
It's been a long time.
Well, if it isn't
the Average Gnash.
Seriously?
15 years, that's the best
you could come up with?
Hey, you OK over here?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Whoa!
Wow, this is heavier
than it looks.
Whoa, you're a loris.
Uh.
So you got a name or--
Uh.
What if I just
call you Speedy?
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Uh, uh-huh.
A racer and a great
conversationalist--
my lucky day.
Gnash, you all right?
Never better.
Hey, you dropped this.
Huh?
Well, that was fun.
I don't think that
tiger is going
to give you any more grief.
You'd be surprised.
Thanks for stopping guys.
And maybe I'll see you
around sometimes, Speedy.
Uh.
Aw.
Sorry to break
up the fun, kids.
Gnash, don't--
But we have to get
back to our race.
Bye.
Nice meeting you.
Penny for your
thoughts, Speedy?
Huh?
Oh, it's nothing.
All good.
ARCHIE VAINGLORIOUS (ON PHONE):
Oh, there you are, Shelby.
I'm dying to hear.
Give me the deets.
Why didn't you tell me
that your mark was a loris?
What a scintillating question.
Let me have a think on that.
I don't know.
Maybe because you work me.
So what happened?
Let's just say
your pet kitty is
going to have quite the
headache when he wakes up.
Sorry, I don't follow.
Your tiger couldn't
handle the goat.
[scream]
ABBY JACKS: Vainglorious will be
the first to throw his name up
on the leaderboard.
But with three more
days of racing ahead,
this race is far from over.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER: Wait, so
this race is actually four days.
You cost us the race.
Races aren't won or lost
until the final second.
We were ahead.
Why would you make a stop?
Feel with your gut,
not with your eyes.
That's not what I sound like.
Let's do a whole
training montage.
But then, let's make it
totally irrelevant by stopping
and blowing our time.
ABBY JACKS: I don't know
where this kid has come from,
but he's clearly come to win.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER:
Oh, I know this one.
He came from China.
Oh my.
Sixth place--
super impressive--
on opposite.
Sixth place?
You did great, kid.
I was in the lead.
Which is when
you always lose it.
But when you're behind, kid,
you're a force of nature.
Zhi, how could
you not have told me
that you are such a driver?
Fantastico!
Fantastico?
Anyone else would
have come in last
after stopping
like you did today.
But then, oh,
watching you drive,
it's like a poetry in motion.
I need a snack.
I don't know, maybe a pint of
ice cream and some seaweed pad
thai.
I know why he's
doing it, but I'm still
terrified every time he
walks out of that gate.
Watch over him up there, OK?
For both of us.
[knocking]
Who could that be at this hour?
Oh my dears, come in, come in.
Oh, thank you.
[party music]
What the?
That was seriously me?
How did I--
SHELBY: Not a big
fan of parties, huh?
Who said that?
Hey!
You, wait up.
Hey, where did you go?
Oh, hey.
Hey, hi.
It's-- it's you.
Oh, I see you've been working
on your conversation skills.
Ha!
my conversation skills, because
that's what you said last time.
So sixth place, huh, Speedy?
It could be worse.
Hmm.
Oh, I get it.
You're one of those
all-or-nothing racers.
And it's just all
about the trophy.
I wouldn't say that exactly.
OK, so you're more of
the fame and glory type.
I don't think
that's it either.
Then what are you?
Well, I'm really only
here for my Granny.
I'm trying to save our home
from this psychotic toad.
Save your home?
Yeah.
And not just my home.
He's actually planning on
destroying the entire loris
village.
The entire loris village?
Yeah.
And it's going to
k*ll my Granny Bai.
I just know it.
Granny Bai?
Granny Bai!
Wait!
You're that Zhi?
I don't know.
I guess it depends which
Zhi you think I am.
From the park at the
Loris Day Festival.
When we were kids, you were
wearing a painted soup pot
on your head.
That was you?
I looked for you a lot,
but I couldn't find you.
I never even knew your name.
I still don't know your name.
It's Shelby.
Shelby.
Why didn't I ever see you again?
We moved to the
city for my dad's job.
My last happy memories are
actually in that village.
What?
I just can't believe it's
really you after all this time.
I know.
This is-- this is crazy.
What are the chances?
No, go back.
What do you say we
take a walk, Speedy?
What's going on?
Nothing.
I just need to stretch my quads.
Stretch your quads?
[party music]
I bet he's over you.
I don't think he knows others.
Time for round 2.
[cracking knuckles]
Here, kitty, kitty.
Not smart.
And welcome, folks.
It's fight night at
the Happy Pagoda.
Oh, I'm loving the party.
SHELBY: So tell me something.
What happened to old Bing?
Did she ever actually
start bottling and selling
her own tea?
No.
But she's still claiming
that when she does,
she's going to be--
Deep in tea money.
[laugh]
Oh, what about
the Chu triplets?
Are they still there?
Yeah, they're
all still there--
I think.
I'm not really sure, actually.
It's kind of hard to tell.
[laugh]
Hey, you think
you want to maybe--
I don't know.
Are you asking me
to dance, Speedy?
I mean I--
[screaming]
Aw.
The number you have dialed
is no longer in service.
Please check the
number and try again.
Gnash is in there.
Oh, OK.
Bye.
Whoa, that the--
Gnash, hold on!
I'm coming.
Oh, snack time.
Oh, boy.
What is going on?
This is weird.
Wait a minute.
Is this what Granny was
always talking about?
Holy golly.
Did you see that?
I did not.
Oh, this is interesting.
Excuse me.
[crowd cheering]
Not bad, Speedy.
Not bad at all.
Well, good day, race fans.
It's Abby Jacks.
And welcome back to day
2 of the Silk Road Rally.
Oh, not necessary at all.
Well, obviously,
absolutely necessary.
They're not the
cheering for you.
Of course, they
are, horse of the sea
who is hardly a horse at all.
I don't think so.
They are cheering
for my best friend.
Videos of Zhi saving me and
by bambinos have gone viral.
Viral?
He doesn't even have a
social media coordinator.
[crowd cheering]
Zhi!
Zhi!
Zhi!
I think you got some fans.
Zhi!
Zhi!
Zhi!
Zhi!
Zhi!
Hey, slow loris.
Emphasis on the slow.
Care to engage in a classic
raising of the stakes?
What do you have in mind?
If you win, not
only will I give you
the deed to your
house, I'll give you
the deed to the
whole loris village.
What's the catch?
If you lose, you
become my echo.
Hmm?
Deal.
Aw!
Hand buzzer-- classic.
[engines starting]
Zhi!
Zhi!
Zhi!
Zhi!
Hmm?
[upbeat music]
What?
[a-ha, "take on me"]
We're talking away.
I don't know what I'm to say.
I'll say it anyway.
Today is another day to
find you shying away.
Oh, I'll be coming
for your love, OK?
Take on me.
Take on me.
Take me on.
Take on me.
I'll be gone in a day or two.
Take on me.
Take me on.
Take on me.
I'll be gone.
See that tree?
Into that.
Into that!
Nice work.
Nice work.
I was talking to the tree.
Congrats, you're no
longer on my list.
You, you're fine.
You're fine.
(SINGING) Take on me.
Take on me.
Take me on.
Take me on.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER:
Well, that was weird.
ABBY JACKS: Well,
you're not wrong.
Unless Zhi has a rope and
a trunkfull of tiny toads,
he might be in some
serious trouble.
Aha!
Hmm?
All right.
We did it, Gnash.
Way to go, kid.
That was awesome.
There you go, little fella.
Little fella?
Come on, Gnash.
We can still take the leg.
Hey!
Mama mia.
Back up gently, gently.
[scream]
Oh, wait.
My bambini!
Zhi.
[screaming]
I got a job.
Oh, no.
My bambinos!
Berpe!
Gnash, don't
disconnect that hitch.
We're going to lose
a ton of time, kid.
I know.
But I entered a Silk Road
Rally to save a family.
And that's exactly
what I'm going to do.
Let's just make it quick, OK?
Do you think this will work?
Not a chance.
I've got you.
Punch it, kid.
Punch it, kid.
ABBY JACKS: Oh, this is
not looking good, folks.
The weight and pressure are
going to rip Zhi's car in two.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER: Oh,
he'd love two cars.
Come on.
Don't give out on me.
Come on.
Come on!
Oh, no!
Zhi did it!
The queen is safe.
[crowd cheering]
It was super scary, guys.
Ooh, yes!
Berpe, Adalina!
I'm so glad you guys are safe.
[speaking italian] Thank you
so much for saving my babies
and my Berpe.
I don't know what
I'd do without him.
[cheering]
ABBY JACKS: Well, this is truly
a remarkable moment, folks.
And one that I don't think
we'll forget in a hurry.
The moment went on unlikely.
Little loris named Zhi became
the face of this Silk Road
Rally.
Look, Granny Bai, look!
It's Zhi!
He saved all the other racers.
ABBY JACKS (ON PHONE): New
face on the Silk Road Rally.
My goodness, look at
what your boy has done.
You must be so proud.
Oh, I am.
But I'm also so
ashamed of myself.
I wasn't ever really helping
him find his [chinese],, was I?
I was just trying to
force him to accept mine.
ABBY JACKS: So, folks, we
are at the end of day 2.
And what a spectacular
day of racing it has been.
Team Vainglorious nabbed
first place again.
No big surprise there.
But the big story of the
day is Team Muddy Meadows
who has shocked the world
by climbing into third place
after a harrowing rescue.
We are here with fan favorite
and hero of the day, Zhi.
So she we would be
remiss if we didn't
ask you the question that
is on everyone's mind.
If you hit yourself
and it hurts,
does that mean you're
strong or weak?
No.
What were you thinking
when you stopped
in the middle of the race to
rescue all your competitors?
What was going
through your mind?
Talk us through it.
Honestly?
I wasn't thinking.
My friends were in danger.
Besides, I still
have two more days.
Like seriously?
Two more?
Well, Zhi, you definitely came
off looking like a real winner
today.
Thanks.
It's like an old friend told me,
winners are always winning even
when they're losing.
[party music]
s When I say vain, you say--
When I say vain, you say--
Idiots!
Glorious!
Reply is glorious!
Idiots!
Glorious!
The reply is glorious!
It's ironically hard to
get a good call or response
game with echoes.
Ah!
Daddy!
Daddy!
Good to see you, brothers.
Good to see you, brothers.
I'm so happy you can join
the festivities in honor of
and sponsored by me.
A brochure?
Archiebold you have risked our
family's business over a bet.
Bet?
What bet?
Oh, that guy.
Don't even, daddy.
He's in third place which is so
many places behind first place.
You couldn't even count
him if you wanted to.
If you lose Muddy Meadows,
you lose everything.
Everything?
Please, daddy, I'm not
as moronic as my brothers.
No offense.
Well, some offense.
I've taken out an
insurance policy.
[phone rings]
It's V.
SHELBY (ON PHONE): You
don't have to say, It's V,
every time.
Your name shows up on
my phone when you call.
It's how phones work.
Never mind.
What do you want?
Nearly striking out with
the goat so it's up to you.
You want me to
b*at up the goat?
No, I want you to
find Zhi's weakness.
ABBY JACKS:
Greetings, dance fans.
And welcome to the
Nuorilang Falls Ball.
And what a beautiful
place to be.
[party music]
Hey.
[non-english speech]
You realize.
If you're tagged.
Tomorrow.
By 20 minutes.
You'll only be.
10 minutes.
From the go.
If you can pull that
off, mate, the next day,
you'd have a real
chance at the cap.
Too right.
Touch a nitro.
I hope you seal the deal.
Yeah, that'd be great.
But nitro is a bit outside
our budget which is nothing.
[speaking chinese]
Whoa, seriously?
Thanks.
This could really help us
close that 29-minute gap, kid.
Kid?
So this is what a burgeoning
superstar does in his off time.
I'm no superstar.
Oh, then what are
you doing on my cup?
So last time I
saw you, I believe
you were asking me to dance.
Was I?
Whoa!
Looking good, kid.
OK.
[music playing]
OK, whoa, slow
down there, Speedy.
See?
Isn't that better?
Yeah.
I like the way you dance.
Then you should
probably thank my Granny.
She's the only person
I've ever danced with.
She taught me all my moves.
Well, how do you like it
then dancing with someone else?
I like it.
A lot less elbow skin.
[laugh]
I'm sorry.
I can't.
Not like this.
But wait!
Shelby!
Hey.
Something get
under your warts, V?
Oh, there she is.
Tell me what's the dirt
on my little friend?
You told me you were
getting even with someone
who double crossed you.
You didn't say anything about
hurting an innocent loris
and destroying my
childhood home.
I'm out.
You came to me appealing to
my love of taking advantage
of the helpless in
their times of need
and, in detriment,
my evil whims,
and asked me to have your
father's name cleared
for a crime that I
clearly framed him
for which I did for you and
which, of course, I can undo.
Therefore, when I
say jump, you say--
You say--
How high?
Right.
And when I say side
vegetable, you say--
Stewed carrots?
Ooh, nice one.
And when I say--
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.
Bop, bop, bop.
What the-- Shelby
and the Vainglorious?
Oh, no, this is going
to k*ll the kid.
Well, don't let him find
out until the race is over.
And when I say dream
first date, you say--
Moonlit dance
beside a waterfall
with a sweet guy
who makes me laugh.
I would have also
accepted putting on a show.
Slimy!
How did I don't see it before?
It's so obvious.
See what?
Perhaps if you're
standing where I'm standing
and I'm standing
where you're standing,
you could see what
I clearly see.
Go, stand where I was standing.
Hmm.
Huh?
What exactly am I
supposed to be seeing?
You're right.
It is worse this way.
Go back, go back, go back.
Hmm?
What?
What you are
supposed to be saying
is that you two silly lorises
are falling for each other.
You are the secret
w*apon I've been
looking for the whole time.
So wouldn't it just
break his simple heart
to learn that you've been
working for me all along?
Pow!
No.
ABBY JACKS: Welcome race fans to
day 3 of this Silk Road Rally.
Today's course takes us right
through the Stone Forest.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER: A
forest made of stone?
I can't believe this.
Huh?
Oh, Zhi, great, there you are.
In the car, let's go.
I got to hand
it to you, Gnash.
You were totally right
making a stop for Shelby.
She is--
Dead weight, yeah.
I don't know what
I was thinking.
That's not what
I was going to say.
[gasp]
You seem a little jumpy.
Yes?
What?
What do you want?
Here, let me get that for you.
Gnash, what the?
Oh, no, the window is broken.
Shelby doesn't love you.
She works for me.
What's he saying?
She does it long
view rehearse the flea?
Cuckoo, am I right?
[phone chime]
Uh-oh.
Hey, Gnash!
What the heck?
These screens are a
serious distraction.
They destroy focus.
You can't have that.
You're welcome.
ANNOUNCER: All racers
to your vehicles.
Oh, yes, finally, here we go.
[engine sound]
[upbeat music]
Last night,
dancing with Shelby,
it was like a dream come true.
But one I never
even knew I wanted.
Ah-ha.
Well, look out.
What if she never comes back?
How could I ever be
happy again knowing
what life could have been?
I couldn't, Gnash.
I just couldn't.
Then again, a winter
wedding would be so Shelby.
But a summer wedding--
Oh, enough already.
You've been talking about
this girl for 1,000 miles.
You need to get your
head back in this race.
How's this for
head in the race?
Whoa, kid, that's
100% pure nitro.
You will just--
Holy moly.
Zhi just took off like a roo
with a rocket in its rump.
[intense music]
After I save
Granny's house, I think
maybe I'll get a
place of my own,
something worthy of
Shelby, you know.
I'm thinking karaoke room.
Oh, for the love of--
Hey, seriously, what
is up with you today?
Who?
Me?
You're the one that wants to
quit yammering on about Shelby
when you should be racing.
You're jealous.
Oh, what in the world
would I be jealous of?
Me because it's not the
amazing Gnash show this time.
Oh, give me a
break, wouldn't you?
ABBY JACKS: Team Muddy Meadows
have broken the land speed
record.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER: Yeah, they're
definitely going to crash.
Whoa, we're too hot.
Lay off the nitro.
Come on!
Whoa!
Yes!
Go, Zhi-zhi, go!
ABBY JACKS: Let's take
another look at that finish.
Yes, Speedy!
You could have k*lled us.
Nitro can't handle
that kind of heat.
You can't handle
that kind of heat.
Your pistons are misfiring, son.
[growl]
You are just like your mother.
As soon as you
don't get your way,
you just fly off the handle.
My mother?
I taught her how to race.
My mother raced cars?
And she was great
too just like you.
But then this one rally,
we were racing as a team.
And I signaled to her
to slow down and not
take the easy pass,
but she couldn't
resist so she blazed by me.
And-- and when she hit
that next turn, she--
She what, Gnash?
She-- she should
have listened to me.
What happened, Gnash?
I lost my best friend.
[expl*si*n]
We could have been amazing.
Could have been amazing.
[yelp]
Oh, yeah?
If I had middle fingers,
you'd all know it right now.
Hey, what's this?
One, get out of here.
Get away.
Go on.
Shoo.
It's all mine--
the trophy, Muddy Meadows,
totally conditional
love of my family.
Echoes, cue the
victory simulation.
[party music]
ABBY JACKS: Well, that
was a dramatic end
to a dramatic day, folks.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER (ON PHONE):
He and Vainglorious somehow now
both in first place.
ABBY JACKS: And with his car and
his relationship with teammate
Gnash both up in flames,
there's suddenly no way for Zhi
to finish the rally,
let alone win it.
He needs us.
Hey, there she is.
There she is.
Oh, what are you
so happy about?
Haven't you heard?
Zhi is out of the race.
We did it!
You and me, the two amigos.
I don't want this.
Oh, don't be shy.
Take a pic.
Shelby?
Zhi, what are you--
what are you-- what are you--
what are you doing here?
I came to make a trade--
me for the village.
How noble of you.
But seeing as your leverage
just blew up-- what?
Five minutes ago?
Yeah, I was kind of hoping
you didn't hear about that yet.
I think I'll just take
you and the village.
Echo Training Program?
Benefits?
Wait a second.
Why are you here, Shelby?
What-- what's going on?
Well, OK-- so this
is a crazy story.
You'll think this is funny.
The thing is-- well the--
Oh, enough with
the dramatic pauses.
The lady loris works for me.
No, no, wait.
It's not like that.
I hired her to destroy you.
How did she do?
She k*lled it.
Speedy.
Well, that was awkward.
[thunder]
ABBY JACKS: Oh, what an
emotional roller coaster
ride this has been for Zhi.
And now, it looks like
everyone's favorite slow loris
is in for a dark
night of the song.
It feels like a
saxophone moment to me.
[saxophone music]
[cat scream]
Zhi-zhi, where did
you find that car?
Kid, you're a force of nature.
That was the coolest
thing I've ever seen.
When will you
find your [chinese]??
GRANNY BAI: Going
somewhere, Gnash?
Granny Bai, what
are you doing here?
Making sure the past
doesn't repeat itself.
You need to help him finally
embrace his [chinese]..
I think you
should talk to Zhi.
You owe me this, Gnash.
And you owe it to Zhi.
But mostly, you
owe it to yourself.
It wasn't your fault.
It was nice to see
you again, Granny.
You take care of yourself.
Aw!
Aw, aw, aw, aw, aw.
Granny, let go.
Oh, come on, Granny.
Don't be an idiot.
Well, that's a good one.
Darn bumper stickers, why do
they have to be so persuasive?
So persuasive.
Next race to
start in one hour.
What?
The plant just
knows how to grow.
[deep breathing]
Zhi!
Zhi!
Where have you been?
Come on, it's Berpe.
Zhi!
Look at what my Berpe did.
It was awesome and
a little disgusting.
I swear I have a whole
new respect for men.
Come and meet the
little tailbiters.
They're so cute.
Wow.
Hi.
They're beautiful.
Everyone, say hi to Uncle Zhi.
Look at him all tuckered out.
I'm so proud of him.
But doc says he's in no
condition to finish the rally.
Well, then, we can watch
the last leg together
because I'm out too.
No, Zhi.
This is where our road led us.
But you, you need to
get back out there
and find out where
your road goes.
But even if I wanted to--
BERPE: Zhi, we are a familia.
I cannot sit here and let
you offer this a hook.
No.
Familia, we push each other
forward even when we think we
can't possibly go on, especially
when we think we can't.
You can do this, Zhi.
We believe in you.
[door opening]
Shelby?
I'm so sorry.
Everything Vainglorious
said is true.
When we met, I was
working for him
but I didn't really
know what I was doing
or who I was doing it to.
And then-- and then we met.
And we got along so well.
And you-- you were the kid
with the soup pot on your head.
And then I realized
that you were fighting
for the Loris Village which
meant that I was the one trying
to destroy it.
Shelby, I get it.
You didn't know.
No, but that
doesn't make it right.
My whole life, I have been
trying to find my way back
to the village.
[crying]
SHELBY: And when you offered
it to me, I betrayed you.
But I want to make it right
so that's what I'm doing here.
I'm trying to do right by
the guy I'm sort of into.
The guy you're sort of into?
She loves me!
Did you guys hear that?
She totally loves me.
Whoa, slow down there, Speedy.
We still got a race to finish.
Shelby, I--
I blew up my car.
There's no way for me
to finish the race.
There's-- there's not going
to be a village to go back to.
Unless--
Isn't this Neil's car?
Not anymore.
The starting line is
the other direction.
ZHI: Oh, I know.
Hey, wait.
Gnash.
GNASH: Zhi?
Gnash?
What are you doing here, kid?
I'm so sorry about
what I said, Gnash.
You've been nothing but good
to me, and I blew it all up.
We blew it up.
I'm sorry too, kid.
I should have told you
about your mama sooner.
And then when the
road got rough,
I just up and split
without so much as a glance
in the rearview.
You know, truth is I would
have been on that bus
there too if an old
friend hadn't stopped by
to drop some wisdom on me.
An old friend?
GRANNY BAI: Come
on now, you two.
I'm not that old.
Granny!
I'm sorry, Zhi-zhi.
I never intended--
It's OK, Granny.
It's OK.
I'm so proud of you.
You're proud of me?
Even though I'm racing?
Because you're racing.
You found your
[chinese],, Zhi-zhi.
Now, go save our home.
GNASH: I hate to be the one
to break it to you guys,
but I think it might be a
little too late for that.
Too late?
But you're the one who said
races aren't won or lost
until the final second.
Hmm?
Yeah.
Again, that's not
what I sound like.
ABBY JACKS: Well, race fans,
it's the last day of the rally.
And with Zhi out, the only
question on everyone's mind
is--
Why don't croissants
come in any other shapes?
No, not that.
Can anyone else left
in this race actually
b*at Archie Vainglorious?
Of course not.
Where's Zhi?
[speaking chinese]
Yeah, he's totes
going to miss the race.
His village is going
to be destroyed.
We've got to find a
way to buy him some time.
Lovely idea, lads.
All right, you lot,
follow our lead.
Huh?
[cheering]
Tucks away.
Well, that's just a waste
of perfectly good people.
Hey, what are you doing?
ABBY JACKS: 7 minutes
in, and the other teams
have a deadlock on Vainglorious.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER: Wow,
this map is really handy.
ABBY JACKS: Oh, we
are four hours now.
And these guys have no intention
of letting Vainglorious pass.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER: Well, hours?
It was just 7 minutes
like 12 seconds ago.
Oh, that's a lot of numbers.
My head hurts.
[scream]
[horn honks]
ABBY JACKS: I don't know
what these guys are up to,
but they're up to something.
They're corralling him.
Five trapped Vainglorious.
Oh.
ABBY JACKS: And Vainglorious
has broken free.
Who would've seen that coming?
[expl*si*n]
Well, folks, it seems like
it's a great day for evil
everywhere as Archie
Vainglorious has just secured
himself a certain victory.
Yey!
ABBY JACKS: Hang on a second.
What's this?
Some fool has just
joined the race.
Is that Neil?
Oh!
ABBY JACKS: Oh, no way,
that's not some fool.
It's Muddy Meadows,
the mini miracle!
Mini miracle?
Oh, that's a cool nickname.
[energetic music]
There it is, Shanghai!
You got this, Speedy.
ABBY JACKS: If there's ever been
a more exciting race for a cup,
I, for one, cannot recall it.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER:
I've got to agree.
ABBY JACKS: That's because this
is the first race you've ever
seen, Juni.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER: I've got
to agree with you again.
GNASH: Steady, steady.
Ha-ha!
As if, loris.
As if.
ZHI: I can't get past him.
GNASH: Not yet.
Not yet.
Now!
See you!
GNASH: Yeah, way to go, kid.
[laugh]
SHELBY: Right, left, right?
Hold on.
SHELBY: Speedy!
ARCHIE VAINGLORIOUS: Dang it!
[crash]
SHELBY: Back up, back up!
You can get around
him and take it.
Coming down, look out!
You're not going
to make it through!
Forward, Zhi!
Forward fast, forward!
ABBY JACKS: Oh, Vainglorious
has pulled ahead yet again.
And this time, it looks
like it's curtains for Zhi.
What are we going to do?
Gnash?
I'm sorry.
I'm all out of bumper stickers.
Speedy?
Hmm?
[intense music]
Go save our home.
What exactly is going through
that giant head of yours right
now, kid?
Like you said, when I'm
behind, I'm a force of nature.
[engine starts]
ABBY JACKS: Oh, stiffen the
wombat and thump the lizard.
The mini miracle is headed
straight into a colossal death
spiral.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER: It sounds
like a very stupid idea.
[deep breath]
SHELBY: This is crazy.
We're close to
the finish line.
No!
ABBY JACKS: Well, vanquish me
Vegemite and call me a koala.
You are a koala.
ABBY JACKS: The mini miracle
has just won the first
ever Silk Road Race!
[crowd cheering]
SHELBY: We did it!
Hey.
I'm his friend!
Go, Zhi!
[crowd roars]
Zhi, can I have
your autograph please?
That was great.
Hey, you did it.
What's up, Zhi?
Hey, it's supposed to
say the Amazing Gnash.
ARCHIE VAINGLORIOUS: Fired!
Fired!
Fired.
Fired.
Fired.
Fired.
Fired.
Fired.
Fired.
Hey, Vainglorious.
Ready to settle that bet?
I'm sorry what bet was that?
There you go.
We got you, Zhi.
Hmm?
We had-- someone must
have hacked my account.
Daddy, you appeared to
have accidentally nabbed me
with your giant cool device.
SHELBY: Yes.
Look.
[crowd cheering]
We did it!
Let me think.
I never really liked that
neighborhood anyway--
too many lorises-- sees?
Lorisees?
Lorises.
Lorisi?
Aw.
I'm really going
to miss that guy.
Really?
No.
[crowd cheering]
ZHI: OK.
SHELBY: Yay, Granny.
ZHI: Go, Granny.
Go, Granny.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Hey.
You know I seem to recall
we've been here before.
Or was it here?
Actually, I think
I was more like here.
Oh, that's right.
Hmm, I can't remember
what happened next.
Not this.
Zhi-zhi, Shelby, are
we going to play or not?
Whoa.
I don't know why
I call you, Speedy.
Hmm?
[sigh]
Yellow mountain fruit peak?
I know it was
always your favorite.
Your favorite?
[yelp]
[sip] [sigh]
I'm still getting
used to that.
All right, game on.
OK, but Shelby has to take
it easy on me this time.
Not a chance.
I've been learning
from the best.
[speaking chinese] Thank you.
Wait, I've lived
with her all my life.
How come I never learn
to play like this?
Because you actually
have to listen.
ABBY JACKS: Oh, and as the sun
sets over this happily restored
Slow Loris community, there's
only one thing left to say.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER: This story
is a lot like that turtle
and the rabbit one.
ABBY JACKS: No, that's--
forget it.
JUNI HAKANSDOTTER: I get
to be in the sequel, yeah?
[music playing]
OK, OK.
I got a rhythm in my body.
No way, no way.
Nobody's going to stop me now.
Today, today.
I'm going to hold
onto the feeling,
not going to worry
about the reasons.
No.
The song is getting started
to the b*ating of my heart.
And it's getting
me carried away.
I got the feeling,
feeling right now.
Keeping it moving,
and I'm making a part.
Hey!
This is electric,
electric in there.
Back in the rhythm and
I ain't going to stop.
OK, OK.
Walking on the air like magic.
No way, no way.
I ain't going to let
them drag me down.
Today, today.
I'm going to hold
onto that feeling.
I've been awaken
from my dreaming.
Oh.
Something is getting started,
the b*ating of a heart.
It's getting me carried away.
I got the feeling,
feeling right now.
Keeping it moving,
and I'm making a part.
Hey!
This is electric,
electric in there.
Back in the room, and
I ain't going to stop.
Something getting started.
There's something
getting started--
the b*ating of a heart,
the b*ating, the b*ating,
the b*ating of a heart.
Something getting started.
There's something
getting started--
the b*ating of a heart,
the b*ating, the b*ating,
the b*ating of a heart.
I got the feeling,
feeling right now.
Keeping it moving,
and I'm making a part.
Hey!
This is electric,
electric in there.
Back in the room, and
I ain't going to stop.
[upbeat music]
Rally Road Racers (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3