03x15 - A Day in the Double Life

[bunniefuu]

[Announcer] Rocketed

from a distant planet

to a bold new

destiny on Earth.

Found by a Kansas family

and raised as Clark Kent,

he learned he possessed

the strength of steel,

the speed of light

and the desire to

He is Superboy.

[siren wailing in distance]

It's Superboy.

I've got an idea.

Come on.

[siren wailing in distance]

Say goodbye, Superboy.

[laughs] Oh!

Let's get out of here.

[siren wailing]

Looking for me?

They're all yours.

Can't thank you

enough for the

[air rushing]

Guy doesn't even wait

around for thanks.

Amazing.

Guy like that has more

important things to worry about.

[Harris] I told you last

time, it's the last time

[Keller] Why?

You don't like Chinese?

Where is Kent with

my pastrami on rye?

Stuffed pork is one of the most

wonderful meals ever invented.

I don't see those

advertisements.

You seen him?

[both] Uh-uh.

I can't believe you.

What do you want to eat?

- [Harris] I want

- What? What?

[Harris] I want

something healthy.

[indistinct arguing]

Here's your sandwich, sir.

I'm sorry for the wait.

I sent you across the

street over an hour ago.

What took so long?

[sighs] I had a

little emergency.

An emergency!

What kind of an emergency!

What are these little

emergencies that you

Family problems?

Emotional problems?

Well, no. No, sir.

You know what this is?

It's a diary.

The kind lawyers keep.

It divides the day

into 15-minute segments.

Tomorrow, I want you to write

down everything that you do,

and then at quitting time,

you turn it in to me

so that I will know

exactly what it is that

Unless of course, you're the

kind of a person who would lie.

- No, sir!

- No, I didn't think so.

Tomorrow night, I will

know everything there

[sighs]

[alarm buzzing]

[Clark] 6:45 a.m.,

woke up.

Need to replace

clock radio again.

[yawns]

7:00 a.m.,

took shower and shaved.

Got dressed

made some coffee

and read the paper.

No, no, no!

Wait, wait, wait!

7:31, missed

the 7:30 bus.

7:32, found alternate means

of transportation.

[Keller] OK, here's our

schedule for the morning.

We have an hour before

we meet with Mel and go

Wait, hold on.

Who put you in charge

of scheduling?

We're both GS7s, you know?

A rank you never would've

gotten without my help.

Help you gave me because you

wanted something back.

[kissing]

From you?

Don't kid yourself.

Good morning.

Huh, early for a change.

I didn't forget.

I'll see you at 5:00.

I heard what happened.

Tough luck.

You know, actually, I'm glad

to see a government official

who's concerned about how the

taxpayers' money is spent.

Right.

Oh, would you step over

to my desk, please?

Come on.

I got something that just

might cheer you up.

Two tickets to

tonight's benefit.

Thought maybe you'd like them.

Like them?

I love them!

Think you can find

somebody to go with you?

I hope so.

- [horns honking]

- [whistle blowing]

- Good morning, Lana.

- Hey, Clark. [chuckles]

Looks like it's going

to be a nice day, huh?

Mm-hmm.

You know that benefit

Matt was talking about?

It sounded like fun, huh?

Not too often you get

to go to something like that.

[car screeching, crashes]

I was wondering

if you were free

Somebody's gonna get k*lled.

- What?

- Look.

[whistle blowing]

I'm sorry,

what were you

[people chattering]

[whistle blowing]

[horn blaring]

- Are you OK?

- Couldn't be better.

You got a piece of

Foil, I know.

It helps keep the voices out.

That badge,

it isn't real, is it?

It better be.

I paid enough for it.

I think you better

come with me.

[horn blaring]

[Clark] 7:58

helped an old

woman cross the street.

How could you possibly

forget to do the reports?

Probably brain damage from

working with you for too long.

[scoffs] You want brain

damage, keep it up.

Is something wrong?

[both] You bet there is!

What's bothering

you two this time?

He was supposed

to fill out our C29

Now we can't go out

in the field.

I would've filled them out

except somebody didn't give them

- Somebody could've asked.

- And somebody could've offered!

Stop it!

- I mean, I'll do them.

- Great. [sniffs]

Thanks, Clark.

I'm glad somebody around

here is reasonable!

Where you headed?

Out near 262

on the interstate.

A pilot spotted another one of

those circles in a cornfield.

Any idea who's doing it?

Or "what's" doing it?

Nobody knows.

Be careful, OK?

I'm driving.

You drove last time.

I'm driving.

[Keller] You're driving me nuts,

is what you're doing.

[Harris] Last time you drove,

you got a ticket.

[chuckling] I'm worried.

Me, too. Anything could be

out in those cornfields.

I'm worried about the

two of them driving in

- Oh, the answer's yes.

- Yes?

Um, the benefit tonight?

I heard you before, but I

didn't get a chance to answer.

You didn't ask

anyone else, did you?

Good, I'll be

looking forward to it.

Me, too.

Did you see what

Superboy did out there?

No, I missed it.

Oh, it was incredible.

[chuckles]

Wow.

I'll see you after work.

[Jackson] There you are!

I need you to watch

the front desk for a

But Harris and Keller

just gave me these.

You can do that later.

Right now

Found it in the woods.

I think it might be

some kind of spaceship.

I think there might be

little people inside.

Looks like trashcan lids.

Tricky little devils,

ain't they?

Well, thanks.

[Clark] 10:30 to 12:30,

watched the front desk.

Met a multitude of

interesting people.

I pulled it off the vine

yesterday. [chuckles]

It is the spitting image

of my late husband.

[phone rings]

Fill this out.

[Matt] Will you hold a second?

Dennis, you better take this.

It's the police.

This is he.

Yes, they left earlier this

morning, is something wrong?

Uh-huh.

Yes, thank you.

Please keep us posted.

You know, he really

did look like this.

The police found

Harris and Keller's car

b*rned?

What about Harris and Keller?

They don't know.

The car was found

on a deserted highway,

near 262 and Troy,

completely burnt out.

Well, did the police

have any ideas?

- Kent!

- [snorts]

I've got something

for you to do.

We started storing things

here the year I was hired.

Some of this stuff looks

like it dates back to

Never mind.

It wasn't so long ago.

[thumping]

I need you to file these

in those cabinets.

All of these?

What's the problem?

I was thinking maybe I'd

help find Harris and Keller.

Don't worry about that.

The police are

taking care of it.

You do this.

Hi, Clark.

Jackson felt guilty so he asked

me to come in here and help.

Oh, great. We'll get

done a lot faster now.

That's what he figured.

Doug, you mind

helping me with these?

Oh.

[straining grunts]

[Clark] 1:30 p.m.,

started cataloging crates.

4:00 p.m., finished,

thanks to Doug.

- Any word on Harris and Keller?

- No.

Hank! Those index cards

you were asking for?

I'm going to go buy them now.

[Harris] How could

you even think

that you could fix the

fuel line by yourself?

[Keller] I did fix it.

It was that damn sparkplug

You never want to

take the blame, do you?

Sure I do, but I'm not

gonna be your scapegoat.

[Harris] I never asked

you to be my scapegoat.

[Keller] Well, what

do you want from me?

Why are we always fighting?

Because

I don't know.

[yelps]

Oh, my ankle!

You OK?

Yeah, I'm all right.

What do you care?

I don't.

I just didn't want to have

to carry you, that's all.

- All right.

- It's the truth.

Just help me up, will ya?

4:32 p.m., did a small

favor for some friends.

Clark?

Oh, hi, Eddie.

I can always tell it's you.

'Cause you're always

in a big hurry.

That's for sure.

Boy, you gotta slow down.

I'll work on it.

[Jackson] Where's Kent?

- Kent!

- Yes, sir.

Where have you been?

- Getting index cards.

- For 45 minutes?

I was shopping for

a discount store.

You told us to save

the government money

Yeah, yeah.

Where are those C29 forms

that Harris and Keller

Um, I'm working on them.

I need to take them

home with me tonight.

- No problem.

- Dennis, Keller's on the phone.

Frank, what happened?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

You shouldn't have tried

to fix it by yourself.

No, no, I'm just

glad you're both OK.

Vacation time?

Sure, you got four

weeks accumulated.

Now?

Well, I suppose.

What about Harris?

How's she going to get

Oh.

She's taking her

vacation time, too?

Sure. Well, I-I'll see

you both in four weeks.

Oh, Frank.

Did you find out what

was making those circles

Uh-huh.

Well, I guess tractors

will do that if their

Oh, you gotta go?

Oh, OK, bye.

Huh.

It's time.

Clark.

Are we still on?

I'm meet you at the

club around 5:30, OK?

OK, sure, but why can't

we just go from here?

[Jackson] Kent!

That's why.

Shaved.

Made some coffee.

Missed your bus.

Helped an old lady

across the street.

[sucks teeth]

Mm-hmm.

Kent, now I know

the truth about you.

You do?

You have the world's

most boring existence.

You ever consider

getting a life?

I'm trying,

I'm really trying.

Should be a good show.

I hope you two enjoy it.

We will,

we definitely will.

Hey, everybody!

Water main just blew!

Street's going to be a river

unless somebody does something.

[panicked chattering]

[man] Can I get a refill,

please?

[women laughing]

[man] Where were you?

[woman] Thank you.

[waitress] Here you go.

Oh, you're welcome.

[Clark] 7:05, went home.

Spent the night reading.