01x05 - Fish Talker/Wet Doom

[bunniefuu]

[exciting music]

- ♪ Oh here we go up the tubes ♪

♪ Fighting crime is what we do ♪

♪ A superhero and his sidekick with a plan ♪

- He has a plan!

- ♪ Who's the one behind the mask ♪

♪ Who can move superfast?

♪ It's Kid Danger... - And look!

- ♪ It's Captain Man

- ♪ So come along - Come along!

- ♪ It's the adventures of Kid Danger ♪

♪

♪ This is the song - This is the song!

- ♪ For the adventures of Kid Danger ♪

♪

- ♪ I'm okay

- Feels good.

[upbeat country music]

- Ah, fishing. - Technically a sport.

- Ooh! I got a bite.

- Well, come on, come on. Reel it in!

- [grunting]

- It works! [laughs] My fish talker!

- What the...Schwoz?

- I am genius! - Wait.

What's a fish talker?

- It's this: a helmet that lets you talk to the fishes.

- That's impossible.

- Henry, try! - [shouts] Uh...

- [grunts]

[quirky music]

- You know, I just don't like tuna fish.

- Yeah, they're okay. They just got no work ethic.

- Oh, my gosh. Those--those fish are talking!

Schwoz, this fish talker thing really does work.

- Yeah, I told you that. So next time, maybe listen.

- Ray, you gotta try this thing out.

- Wait. Whoo! Whoa!

I think I got something.

- Ooh, yank it, yank it. - I am yanking it!

[grunting]

Oh! Hey, hey.

Dinner has arrived.

- [shouting]

Get it out of my mouth!

[splutters] Put me back in the water!

- Ray, let that fish go.

[stammers] Throw it back in the water.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm! - [scoffs] Are you crazy?

We're gonna eat this fish. - No.

We are not eating this fish.

- Could someone please get this hook out of my face?

- Oh, uh... [grunts]

- [grunts] That hurt!

[gulps] - Ray, you gotta believe me.

I can hear and understand everything this fish is saying.

- Well, I don't hear it, and my rule is,

if I don't hear it, I eat it. - But you can hear him.

And talk to him. See?

I made two helmets.

- [grunts]

- Now, fishy, speak to the peoples.

- Uh, let's see. Okay, I am a fish.

My name is Gilligan. I don't wanna be eaten.

Let's see, what else? I'm single...

and I haven't had a worm in days.

You know, although every day's a struggle...

[chuckles] I'm feeling okay!

- I still say we eat him. - Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, okay, look, uh...

see, I've been sitting on some information,

which is...I'm a magic fish.

There. Now it's out there.

- [gasping] Did you hear that? He's magic.

- Yeah, magically delicious.

- Okay, fishy,

if you are truly magic, prove it.

Make me taller.

- Yeah, sure. No problem.

[shimmering tones]

♪ Makin' the bald man taller! ♪

♪

Aye! I've been tallened!

- Okay, magic fish,

why are you here in Lake Swellview?

- Well, uh, I was just swimming in the ocean, see?

Right after taking some cough medicine.

And then I swam a left. I got lost.

Next thing I knew, I was in that lake.

[laughs] What are you gonna do?

- Aww, you poor, confused magic fish.

- Hey, listen. If you guys'll help me

get back home, I'll grant you three wishes.

- Deal! It's a deal!

First we'll take you home, then you'll make

my three wildest dreams come true.

- So, Gilligan, where do you live?

- In the ocean.

A little area called Oyster Bay.

Yeah, it's right by the Clams Casino.

- Mm, that's pretty far. How're we gonna get there?

- [whistles]

[grand music]

- Oh, wow! You have a submarine?

- Yep, the Man Sub. - [laughs] Okay!

- Kid, your gum? - Let's chew it and do it.

♪

Let's cruise.

- Hey, wait. Hey!

Don't forget me!

- Don't worry, we won't.

♪

- And bring me long pants!

♪

- So, how do we get from this lake to the ocean?

- Just hang a left up there.

- Got it. Blinker on.

♪

- All right, here we--whoa! Who taught you how to drive?

Holy cow. Okay, here we go.

All right. Hey, look.

- Wow, we're deep in the ocean. - Yes, we are.

One of the most beautiful, wet, peaceful--

[crash] Gah!

Dang it! - What did we hit?

- It's the "Titanic"! We hit the "Titanic"!

- [laughs] That's so ironic.

- Oh, well, now how am I supposed to get home, huh?

Do you guys want your three wishes or not?

- Yes! - Hey,

let's take the water wheeler.

[machinery squeaks]

[pleasant music]

♪

- [grunting]

Hey... [pants] Kid Danger...

are you pedaling? [pants]

- Uh...yes.

- Uh-oh. - [screams]

[dramatic music]

- Hold it! [sharks growling]

What's up, land walkers?

- Oh, just pedaling through.

[horn honks] - Aw, yeah?

Well, what's your hurry?

- Ooh, these guys are in a hurry.

- Hey, you. Come on, relax.

Join us for lunch.

- Oh. Well, uh...

- What are you guys having for lunch?

- Oh, you wanna know what's for lunch?

- You.

[chomp] - [screams]

Stop eating me! - [wailing] Oh, my God!

- Let go, let go, let go! Ah!

[yelps] Ah, thank you.

- [gasps] - What's wrong?

- I chipped a tooth on that guy's head.

- Well, why didn't you bite right through him?

- 'Cause Captain Man is indestructible.

- Aw, yeah? Well, what about you, kid?

- Yeah, is the kid indestructible?

- Oh! Uh, no.

- Could've lied, dude.

- Okay then.

You give us your bike...

or we eat the kid.

- No way. You can't have our bike.

- Uh, let's just give it to them.

- What? You wanna just give them our bike?

- Sure, just as long as they don't take our hats.

- Oh, right. Our hats.

- Ay, you better give us your hats!

- [sighs] All right. Kid, give them our hats.

- Okay.

[both giggling]

[bombs beeping]

- [grunts] - Mm-hmm!

- Aw, yeah! - This fits nice.

- You look good, bro. - Yeah, it feels perfect.

- We both look good! Ay, thank--

[both whimper]

- [grunts] - Afternoon.

- See you. - Sorry your hats blew up.

- Oyster Bay! Yes!

I'm almost home.

[laughing] Whoa, man, am I gonna take a shower.

My house!

- Hey, Gilligan's home. [all talking excitedly]

- Oh, ma, it's great to see you.

Oh, man, everybody's here. I got my father,

my two sisters, my brothers! - Aww, see?

This warms my heart. - Yeah...

I want my three wishes.

- All right, come on. - Aw, man, bring it in.

This is great. Okay, okay.

Wait a second, everybody.

Hold up, hold up, hold up. [clears throat]

So, I just wanna say...

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for these two guys.

- Thanks! You owe me three wishes.

- Right, right, three wishes.

So, Captain Man, your first wish?

- Well, I've always want-- [whoosh]

[fish scream] What?

- The whole fish family got eaten!

- [sobbing] No! I want my three wishes!

You...you whale! Open your mouth.

- Dude, what are you doing?

- I'm going in, kid.

[fish shouting]

[smacking, Captain Man grunting]

[fish screaming]

[grunting]

[pants, laughs] I got him! I rescued the magic fish.

- Well, yeah, but what about the rest of his family?

- Yeah. - I don't think they're magic.

- Dude. - They may not have been magic,

but they were magical to me. [sobbing]

- Come on, let's use one of our wishes

to bring his family back. - No! Are you insane?

He promised us three wishes. - Ray, he's crying.

- I want three wishes. - He's a nice fish.

It's one wish. - You wanna give him

one of your wishes? Fine.

- [sobbing] Why? - Hey, fish?

Gilligan? - Wh--what?

- [sighs] For my first wish...

[groans] - Mm-hmm?

- I wish that your family would return safely.

- [gasps] Oh! Okay! Okay, here I go!

♪ Making my family return safely ♪

[shimming tones]

- [retches] [family cheers]

- Whoa, what happened? [laughs] That was weird.

- Aw, thanks youse guys.

- Yeah, yeah. - [laughs]

Did you see that k*ller whale just throw up his whole family?

- Yeah, I saw it. - Oh, man.

Ah, I wish I had a picture of that.

- Oh! Okay.

♪ Puking up a photo - No, no, no, wait, wait--aw!

- [burps]

- Whoa.

Captain Man, look at this framed photo.

- [stammers] Do you realize you just wasted our second wish

on that stupid framed photo?

- Wasted? Uh... [chuckles]

This is a pretty sick frame. What's this made of?

Is this wood? Feels wood.

- You be quiet. You just be quiet!

I only have one wish left, and it's really important, so--

[phone rings]

Oh...oh, no.

- Who is it? - Ah, some woman I know

who keeps asking me to lend her money.

- She nice? - Yeah, but still,

I wish she'd just go away.

- Oh! Okay!

♪ Woman go away - Aw, come on!

- Hello?Pick up!

[screams]

[whale grunts, traffic screeches]

- And that's all three wishes...granted.

- [growling]

- Aw, won't you boys stay

and have dinner with the family?

- Ooh, dinner.

Thanks, Mrs. Fish Lady. - Whatever.

[heroic music]

- [munching] Mmm.

Oh, wow. [gulps] I've never had sushi like this.

- Yeah, well, uh, us fish,

we don't eat the same kind of sushi youse guys do.

- Oh, well, uh, what kind of fish is this?

- Uh, this ain't fish. [chomps]

- We make our sushi with land walkers.

- Like you two.

[both gasp]

[sharp string music]

- Gah! People? [groans]

- Hey, pass the spicy human roll.

- [groans] Oh, God, this is wrong.

[Italian music]

[indistinct chatter] - Aw, man, I love noodles.

- [humming]

- Hey, Charlotte! - [yelps] What?

- The waiter just brought our food.

You want your spaghetti? - No!

Gee whiz, Henry.

You don't bring a girl's dinner

into a gender neutral bathroom.

- Well, sure you do.

- Hey, Henry. - 'Sup?

- I think you took my spaghetti.

- Did I? - Hey!

[toilet flushes]

Who wants Parmesan cheese?

- Nah. - I'm good.

- Kay-kay. - What is going on here?

- Come on, Char, hurry.

Just finish washing your hands so we can go have dinner.

- I... [grunts]

I can't get the water to turn off.

- [panting]

- [grunts] - [screams] Aye!

Wait! My cheese!

[shouts] - [grunts]

- [groans] - Floor!

- Jasper! - Why would you do that?

- It's the bathroom floor challenge,

from the Internet. - Ugh.

- [stammers] Will someone help me turn this water off?

The sink's gonna overflow.

- No worries. I'll get the chef.

[grunts] Oh, whoa.

We got a stuck knob. - Here, I'll get it.

[grunts]

- Oh. - Ah, jeez.

- Whoa. - Great.

Now we're trapped in here with no way out

and there's water coming in from the sink

and, inexplicably, from the doorknob hole.

- So? - So, if we don't

stop the water or get out of here soon,

we're all gonna drown!

[all screaming]

- [panting] - [screaming]

- [screaming] - Aye! Aye! Aye!

Ah! I always knew I'd die in a public restroom,

but not like this!

- Hey, I just wanna say that

if things get really bad in here,

I give you all permission to eat me.

- Uh, gross. - Yeah, no thanks.

- Ew. - Okay.

- Fork? - All right, now wait a minute.

Guys, I'm Captain Man, and this?

This is Kid Danger.

We've been in way worse situations than this.

- Oh, name one!

You name one that was worse than this!

- Uh--oh, what about the time we tried to start a band?

- Oh, yeah, the Man Band.

- Uh-huh. And remember when we played

at the Bunion Club?

Remember how bad that was?

- Oh, yes, yes. [all murmuring]

Right, right. I remember.

- ♪ Well, baby, will you take me back? ♪

- Aw, this is terrible. Come on!

[crowd booing] - ♪ There, I said it

♪ I said it, I said it - You're terrible!

- [yelps] - You aren't musicians!

You guys are a joke! - Ray!

They hate us! - I know!

But, uh, just keep playing!

♪

[together] ♪ Baby, will you take me back? ♪

- [grunting]

[grunts] Hmm? [groans]

[together] ♪ Take me back? - ♪ There, I said it

♪ I said it - [growls]

[crowd shouting]

[all groaning]

- I said it, I said it, I--

oh, I have internal injuries.

- Well, I'm glad we all remembered that,

but now the water's up past our ankles!

- Yeah, water.

Hey! That reminds me of that time

we all rode that flume ride at Dingo Land.

- Oh, yeah. - Dingo Land.

- Ooh, I remember that. - Ah, yes, the flume.

- Hmm...

- Yeah! - This is so fun!

- Yay, I'm in a log! - Whoo-hoo!

- Hey, uh,

don't forget to switch to track B

when the red light comes on.

- Shut up!

[alarm buzzes] - Aw, crud.

[all chattering] - No, no!

No, not this way! [all screaming]

- Hey, kids.

Who wants to take a selfie with me, Mr. Mouse?

[all cheer]

- Danger! No, no, no, danger!

- Uh-oh!

[all grunt]

- [groans] Ow.

- [sobbing]

- Ah, Mrs. Mouse.

You wanna go out with me for some spaghetti?

Hmm?

[all grumbling] - Mm-mm, mm-mm.

- I can't believe we put poor Mr. Mouse in the hospital.

- I can't believe you flirted with his wife in the hospital.

- I didn't know they were married!

- Her name is Mrs. Mouse. - Ah, that could mean anything.

Schwoz, will you hurry up and fix that faucet

before we all meet our wet doom?

- I... [grunts] I'm trying!

- [shouts, grunts]

[all shout] - Dang it, Schwoz!

- Why you gotta mess up everything?

- [grunts] I never mess anything up.

- What about the time

we were driving in the Tampa ?

- Yeah, you forgot to tighten

the lug nuts on our wheel.

- Uh, I don't remember that.

- Then maybe we should all think back to that time.

- Yeah, let's all think back.

Ah, yes, remember. [all murmuring]

announcer: That's right, it's another humid,

muggy, and terrible day here in Tampa,

where this race is just getting started.

And now we'd like to take a moment

to welcome everyone from out of town,

and, of course, our local Tampans.

- Okay, stop, stop. - Yeah.

- [grunts, coughs]

- Hey, guys. - Hi!

- Guys, you're doing great!

- Yeah, you're driving really fast.

- Uh, we were. Now we're just sitting here.

- Yeah, yeah. Come on, come on!

Hurry up. Change the tires!

- Here's the spare. - Schwoz, do you even know

what you're doing? [all chattering]

- What--are you painting your nails?

- Uh, I'm using clear polish. [car thuds]

[indistinct chatter]

- Okay, you're ready.

- Go, go, go! Go, Kid!

- Kay-kay! [tires squeal]

- Hey, did you bring any snacks?

- No, I did not bring snacks. - Ooh!

What's this on the floor? - Don't eat that.

announcer: And we have a special guest today

at the Tampa .

He's fresh out of the hospital

and here to promote flume awareness:

Mr. Mouse!

[cheers and applause]

announcer: Go ahead and stand up, Mr. Mouse!

- [grunts] - Whoo!

- Yeah, Mr. Mouse! - [laughs]

- Uh, what's in your hand?

- Lug nuts for Henry's front left wheel.

- Well, shouldn't those be on the car?

- Of course they should be on the--uh-oh!

- We're in the lead! - Whoo-hoo!

[metal screeches] Oh, man, we lost a tire!

[dramatic music]

- Thank you all for being so--

[crowd shouts]

Uh-oh.

[screaming]

[grunts]

Oh, howdy, Mr. Gator!

[shrieks] Why, Florida?

You evil peninsula!

- Anyway, Schwoz, I hope you admit now

that it was your fault that, uh...

where'd Schwoz go? - Yeah, w-where's Schwoz?

- Uh-oh. - Quick, everyone!

Find Schwoz! - Schwoz!

- Here, Schwoz! - Where are you, Schwoz?

[whimpers] - [shouting]

Oh, no. Schwoz is...

- [cackles]

Right up here, dummies.

- Aw, Schwoz. - What are you doing?

- Dang it, Schwoz!

- We were all worried that you drowned!

Why didn't you say something?

- I wanted to see if you guys love me.

And you do. [cackles]

[plaster cracks, Schwoz screams]

[electricity hissing]

[all shouting]

- Well, at least things can't get much worse.

[yelps]

- Look, the good news is,

we probably have about / minutes left.

- Which means we have time for one more flashback.

- Ooh, let's think back to the time I ordered

a ten-piece nugget meal, but they gave me nuggets!

- No, we're not flashing back to your nugget experience.

- Hey, what if we flashback

to the time we all went zip-lining?

- Eh...

- Oh, yeah! - See, Jasper?

That's a good flashback idea: the zip line incident.

- No, I don't want to reminisce about that time!

- Too bad. - Come on, everyone.

If we all stroke our chins hard enough,

he can't stop us from flashbacking!

[all murmuring] - Oh, come on, guys.

[groans] Stop it!

- Yeah! - Yes, yes, yes!

- This is so fun! - I'm Super Jasper!

[all laughing] - Oh, yeah!

- Whoo! - I love zip-lining!

Hey, Schwoz, come on!

- [echoing] But what if something bad happens?

- Nothing bad'll happen!

- And even if it does,

you've already lived a full life.

Now come on! all: Come on, Schwoz!

- You got this! - Let's go!

- Well...okay.

Whee!

- Yeah! - Nice job, Schwoz!

- There you go! - You got it!

- Come on, Schwoz! - You got it!

- Uh-oh. I think I am stuck.

- Don't worry, Schwoz!

[eagle screeches]

- [shouts] [eagle screeches]

[voice fading] I knew this would happen!

- I was wrong when I told him not to worry...

'cause he was right to worry.

[eagle screeches] - [grunts]

- So, she got you guys too, huh?

- Yeah, stinks. - Not comfortable.

- It's, uh...pretty... pretty bad.

- Okay, we need to stop flashing back

and think of a way to get out of here!

- I know what to do. - Then do it!

- Okay, okay. [inhales deeply]

[heroic music]

♪

[toilet flushing]

- Ooh, the water's draining.

- [shouts]

[grunts]

[all sigh]

- Oh, Henry, you did it! - Yeah.

We better go check on Schwoz.

♪

- Get out of there, Schwoz. - I can't!

- Here. [both straining]

- Come on! I want spaghetti.

- Yeah, me too, so... [struggling] I'm gonna get it!

Now let's go eat.

- [grunts] Doy.

[all mumbling happily]

- This is so good. - Good spaghetti.

- Can you pass me the garlic bread?

- Here, here, here, here. Try some.

- Ah, so good. - Look, Mommy!

A toilet! - Yeah, don't touch that.

- Yeah, yeah, don't touch it, don't touch it!

- I'm gonna touch it.

- [wailing]

[echoing] Don't eat my meatballs!

[water sloshing]

- Hey, let's eat his meatballs.

- Oh, finally!

[indistinct chatter]