You don't mind that
I brought Jeremy here, do you?
Of course not.
I mean, it's bad enough
that a -year-old boy
has to go live with a father
that he never knew.
You must be Jeremy.
What I thought was
that it might be good
if Jeremy and I got to know
each other a little better
before I took him back to LA.
He could stay here,
and I'll keep the hotel room.
He's only been here a day.
There's been smoking
and drinking in the house
the Tommy incident,
and now Nicholas.
I mean, what's on the agenda
for tomorrow?
The bombing of the bathroom?
[theme song]
♪ There's a magic
in the early morning ♪
♪ We found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles ♪
♪ On everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ For eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
♪ Oh we spend our days ♪
♪ Like bright
and shiny new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled ♪
♪ By the changing times ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen window sill ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
[instrumental music]
(Nancy)
'You already curled
that eyelash.'
- 'I did?'
- Yeah, three times.
What's with you
this morning, huh?
Oh, huh.
The station manager wants me
in his office first thing.
So? What does that mean?
Well, he doesn't ask you
into his office first thing
unless you're getting promoted.
- Great!
- Or fired.
Oh? Oh, oh, you don't--
Yeah. That's exactly
what I think.
He started this big promoting
firm to recommend changes.
As in
people-getting-fired changes?
That's the rumor.
He's been hanging around
the office all week, you know
taking notes, staring..
...mostly at me.
Oh.
Come on, hurry up,
we're gonna be late, Nicholas.
Yeah, well,
I gotta find my mitt.
Why is your dumb mitt
in your sister's room, anyway?
Well, I think she hid it
after the world series.
Why?
Well, she got real mad
when I ran into the kitchen
at the end of the game
and threw my mitt up in the air.
Boy, some people
are really sore losers.
It wasn't the game.
It was just
that my mitt landed in the food.
Peas splashed all over her hair
and everything.
Well, come on,
help me look for my mitt
or we'll never get to school.
- Nicholas!
- What?
Come here.
Will you stop messing around
with my sister's medical books?
She's gonna get..
Wow.
[laughing]
(Joannie)
'Nancy, would you hurry up?'
'I can't be late this morning.'
(Nancy)
'Okay, I'm trying.'
[door shuts]
Oh, good morning.
Time for breakfast?
Uh, just for a cup of coffee.
I gotta make it
to San Francisco by noon.
Well, that's pretty colorful
for a funeral, isn't it?
Yeah, well,
not for my sister-in-law.
Boy, the last thing
Peg would've wanted
is for a lot of people
to show up in black.
I remember when
Peg and Frank's mother d*ed.
She showed up
in a bright yellow dress
and Frank gave her this, uh,
typical big-brother order.
- "Change the dress."
- Did she?
Yeah, into a bright red one.
And that wasn't the end of it.
When Frank and I got married,
she showed up all in black.
[sighs]
I still can't believe it.
See, Peg was always
the indestructible one.
She was always
propping everybody else up.
When Frank's plane was sh*t down
I don't know how I could've
gotten through it without her.
Are you sure you don't want me
to go along with you?
No, I'll be fine.
[sighs]
Besides, I'm counting on you
to supervise Susan's move
back in to the house.
'We'll have to be ready
when she brings her baby home.'
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, and supervising
does not mean
lifting any heavy boxes.
Hm..
I'll be home late, okay?
Bye.
[instrumental music]
Oh, uh, come in, Joannie.
Uh, please have-have a seat.
[exhales sharply]
'Joannie, this is Mr. Whitney'
'of the Whitney
Broadcasting Consultants.'
'And as you know,
we've hired his company'
'to help us revitalize
our news operation.'
You've probably seen him
around the newsroom this week.
Joannie, I want you to know
'that what I'm about to tell you
is not my idea.'
It's just that our news ratings
are in a real slump.
They are?
And sometimes
we have to resort to actions
that may seem a little drastic.
W-we do?
(Mr. Koppel)
'Now, Mr. Whitney here'
'has made some recommendations
for some changes.'
He has?
One of those changes
involves you.
They want you to be
the new Channel sportscaster?
Uh-huh.
You mean, like in
Phillies , Reds ?
Uh, well, they, they want me
to anchor the sports
on the o'clock news
and-and, and then do interviews
in the field and everything.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- I have only one question.
- What?
- Why?
- I don't know.
Jeffrey, uh,
Mr. Whitney, uh, said
he wants promotable, you know?
And he thinks
that a-a female sportscaster
will boost the ratings.
Well, you're the one who keeps
wanting to go on camera.
Oh, I know, Jeffrey, but sports!
I mean, I don't even like sports
let alone
know anything about it.
Well, there's one thing
in your favor.
Anchor jobs
you don't have to know much.
All you have to do is read
what they put in front of you.
Oh, great.
Hey, cheer up, relax.
It can't be that bad.
Besides, you may even find
you like it.
- Jeffrey?
- Hmm?
What are the Phillies
and the Reds?
No, I'm serious, Jeffrey.
No, look, look, look,
you have to..
Now's our chance.
Everybody's at Susan's house.
Now, you run in there
and get the book
and take it into my room.
- What are you gonna do?
- Stay on guard!
- Why can't I stay on guard?
- Will you get going? Geez.
[door opens]
[door closes]
(Susan)
You know,
I bet Sandra Sue's so big
I won't even recognize her.
Oh, no!
Hey, Ralph, hurry up!
Well, I think
it was a great idea
that Merle talked Susan
into moving back in.
Yeah, I can hardly wait
to thank him.
Yeah, well, with him in New York
'you must admit
it makes a little more sense.'
- Uh-huh.
- Dad, I gotta talk.
- Oh, not now, Nicholas.
- Ow!
But, dad, it's very important!
Yeah, it will have to wait
till later.
- Nicholas.
- Nicholas, please!
- 'Dad?'
- What?
(Elizabeth)
'Telephone!
It's Abby long distance!'
- Oh, boy, we have boxes..
- Let's get this stuff upstairs.
- Alright. Don't push me.
- Get out of way, Nicholas.
Nicholas, grab the box,
for crying out loud.
Hi, Abby.
Huh?
Oh, no, everything is going
without a hitch, yeah.
Yeah, right.
Well, you know the Bradford's.
We all pitch in
with our teamwork and help.
[chuckles]
Uh, how's it going there?
Jeremy?
Oh, yeah, well,
that's Peg's son.
Oh, alright,
sure the-the girls could fix up
the screened porch for him.
Right. Uh..
B-bye-bye now.
Hurry up, dad.
We wanna visit
Sandra Sue in the hospital.
She'll be ready to come home
before her room is ready.
[crickets chirping]
Oh, hi. I thought
I heard you coming in.
Well, I tried to be real quiet.
I thought you'd be asleep.
- Oh, you must be exhausted.
- Yeah, I am.
Well, how did it go?
- Nobody wore black.
- Mm-hmm.
Your phone call
was pretty crypted.
Yeah, it was a little awkward
where I was.
Well, I thought Jeremy was
gonna stay with the grandfather.
Well, that's what I thought,
but apparently
the grandfather's in a rest home
and he has been for sometime.
I see.
Tom, there was nowhere else
for Jeremy to go.
It was either here
or they were gonna put him
into a foster home until
they could find his father.
Father? I didn't even know
there was a father.
- What is he like?
- Well, I don't know.
See, Peg never talked about him.
Apparently, they were divorced
when Jeremy was a baby.
It was pretty bitter.
I think she wanted him
out of their lives completely.
Oh, I see.
'They're trying
to locate his father now.'
'He is some film director
in Los Angeles or something.'
You don't mind that I brought
Jeremy here, do you?
Of course not.
I mean, it's bad enough
that a -year-old boy
has to go live with a father
that he never knew.
- I just couldn't let them.
- Hey, it's okay.
I understand.
Does he know where to sleep?
I'm gonna go downstairs
and have a little snack.
Ow!
The old Bradford teamwork, huh?
[instrumental music]
[dramatic music]
You must be Jeremy.
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
(Abby)
'Thank you very much.
Bye-bye.'
That was the child
welfare board.
They found Jeremy's father.
He was on-location
some place.
You know he didn't
even know about Peg.
So when is he coming?
As soon as he can.
Oh, that's good.
Because Jeremy's behavior
last night was typical.
The sooner, the better.
(man on TV)
'Yes, sir, out losers will get
a set of match freezers'
'capable of storing up to three
times of frozen food and..'
Hi, I'm Tommy.
Hey, if you want
any breakfast
it's usually every
man for himself.
But, uh, to tell
you the truth
Elizabeth's a real
soft touch.
Just don't let her make you any
of her orange juice pancakes.
Look, I'm really sorry
about your mom.
Yeah, well, if you change
your mind about breakfast
it's...in there.
Hey, you think
Jeremy's hungry?
I don't know,
I'll go ask him.
Uh, I already did, I think
he'd rather be left alone.
Hey!
Did I tell you Merle hit
a double last night?
- Is that good?
- Good? That's great!
He hit a triple
the night before.
Hey, it says right
here that pitchers
don't usually
make good hitters.
Well, they obviously
don't know Merle.
What is that
that you're reading?
"Everything you needed
to know about sports and more."
- Are you feeling okay?
- Yeah.
- Joannie's been promoted.
- To what?
To sportscaster.
[laughing]
It's not that funny.
Hi, Jeremy.
Did you have a good sleep?
I guess that couch isn't
too comfortable, huh?
Well, I suppose you met
the whole family now.
All except Mary, she's an
intern, she's on and off .
But she'll be home later--
Is there anything to do
in this town?
Yeah, sure. In Sacramento
there's a lot to do.
I mean, there's
the state capital.
'They have tours every morning.'
Pfeww..
I didn't think you were
the capital type.
Well, let's see now, what
else do we have, here, um..
I heard that there's a..
...floating crap game
on the west side.
- I'll just take a walk.
- Right.
Listen, Jeremy..
...there is one thing
I would like to get clear.
'There's no smoking
in this house.'
And no drinking, period.
You're underage.
Now, the idea here is to capture
the widest possible audience.
I see.
With makeup, wardrobe,
the right hair
we're going to be able
to project an image
that will transcend
age and sex.
Good. Good.
Now we want Joannie
to be feminine.
Yet...masculine.
We do?
Naive...yet authoritative.
'Subliminally sexy to the men'
yet...unthreatening
to the women.
Uh, could I say something?
- Professional..
- Uh, never mind.
...yet...ingeniously
amateurish.
What do you think, Joannie?
I, I think it sounds good..
...yet bad.
Heh, yeah.
[chuckles]
Hey, what's going on?
It's Jeremy, he's up in your
room with the door locked.
Here.
[guitar music]
Jeremy, open up the door!
Jeremy, I said open up!
Hey, what do you think
you're doing?
Well, how many
guesses do I get?
- Hey, the guitar is off limits.
- Why?
Because I don't want
it broken, that's why.
Do you realize
how much these things cost.
I've been around groups before.
It's a cheap guitar.
Why don't you just
get out of my room.
Or what?
What is your problem anyway?
Pfft, no problem.
- Then get outta here.
- And what if I don't?
Then you've got a problem.
Oh-ho-ho, I'm shaking.
I said get out of my room.
Stinks in here anyway.
Like this whole house
stinks...of hicks.
[indistinct chattering]
- Can you believe this?
- What is it?
I don't know.
Well, maybe you got the book
upside down or something.
Don't be dumb.
Do you know what that is?
- Sure.
- What?
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell ya.
'You're a liar.
You don't know.'
Yeah, well, uh, neither do you.
Boy, I'll tell you, when we
get through with this book
'we're gonna know more than
anyone else at school.'
That's for sure.
I bet you there isn't
a guy in this school
who wouldn't die to take
a look at this book.
Yeah.
[instrumental music]
I love it.
Uh, well...heh..
It certainly is different.
Well, that's the whole point.
People always want to see
something that's different.
Joannie, people from
all over Sacramento
are going to be
flipping to Channel
just to see
what you're all about.
Oh.
Nice job, kids.
Ooh, Mr. Koppel.
Mr. Koppel, I-I,
I can't do this.
I-I mean, I mean, I'm not
comfortable. I-it's not me.
Now, it's just an image,
Joannie, you're still you.
Now, believe me,
you'll get used to it.
Now, I'm counting on you.
We all are.
Okay.
That's my girl.
You'll go on the air
tomorrow night.
- Tomorrow night?
- Seven o'clock news.
Oh!
[birds chirping]
How's it going?
Oh, great, it's a laugh
a minute around here.
You don't like
us much, do you?
It's nothing against you,
it's just I'm not used
to living with the Brady Bunch.
What's that supposed to mean?
Just forget it.
[birds chirping]
My mom d*ed too.
It was real weird.
Sometimes I miss her.
But my dad says I shouldn't
be sad 'cause
well, we have Abby now--
Yeah, well, you smoke?
Nah, tried it once but..
Got sick, huh?
Yeah, real sick.
'Cause you inhaled,
you gotta work up to it.
- Look, I'll show ya.
- Ah, that's okay..
Right.
Brady Bunch.
Alright, now remember,
don't inhale.
[dramatic music]
He's not that bad.
Oh, not yet,
he's only been here a day.
He's been smoking and drinking
in the house.
The Tommy incident,
and now Nicholas.
I mean, what's on the agenda
for tomorrow?
The bombing of the bathroom?
That's not fair.
I'm sorry,
what else can I think?
Well, I realize he's not
exactly your model teenager.
Oh, that was an understatement.
And I realize it's probably
pretty tough for any Bradford
to understand the situation.
- That was patronizing.
- Tom, I didn't mean it to be.
The fact is that, that, Jeremy,
well if Jeremy had ever had
a man like Tom Bradford
to grow up with
maybe he wouldn't have
all these problems.
He's been through a lot.
What he needs is understanding
not condemnation.
Yeah, I guess you're right
Thanks.
Abby, understanding
has its limits too.
It can't be at the expense
of a whole family.
[instrumental music]
(Janet)
'Come on, you guys, so what else
has been going on around here?'
Oh, Janet, you don't
wanna hear about
our humdrum little
lives, do you?
Well, try me.
Oh, how could we
possibly compare
to the real-life drama
of a courtroom.
Will you cut it out?
You know, lives waiting
the scales of justice.
'For the innocent, freedom'
'and for the guilty, the chair!'
Ten thousand volts
ripping through quivering--
Tommy, that's enough.
'I was just trying
to cushion the blow, dad.'
What blow?
Joannie's becoming..
...masculine.
[all laughing]
- What?
- I'm not.
Oh, Joannie, it's really
not a stigma anymore.
Would you just be quiet?
Wait, wait, I-I'm confused.
(Tommy)
'So is Joannie.'
She's becoming a sportscaster.
The station's
changing its image
'and so they're changing
Joannie's image, simple.'
Right, from a skirt
and a blouse
to a suit and a tie.
Oh.
And a moustache.
[all laughing]
- Look, one more remark, Tommy..
- I was just kidding.
Gosh, can't anybody take
a joke around here anymore?
Hey, look, I'm sorry,
okay, really.
Okay.
Hey, do you wanna borrow
my Right Guard?
[laughs]
Nah, I, I think
it's a good idea.
So do I, it's another blow
for male dominated fields.
Oh, no, no, I didn't
mean it that way.
I just meant in general.
'Jeremy, what do you
think of this family?'
'We have everything,
from a doctor and lawyer'
to a musician, to
a building contractor.
So?
My dad's a film director.
Oh, I know that.
A Hollywood film director.
You know, you shouldn't
be sitting in dad's desk
without permission.
Bet my dad's desk is
twice as big as this one.
Figure he probably lives
in Beverly Hills.
- Really?
- Sure. Or Malibu.
Where's that?
Have you ever been
out of Sacramento?
- Of course, lots of times.
- Right!
Anyway, maybe you can come
down to the beach sometime.
If it's alright with my dad.
That'd be great.
Which beach?
Malibu!
Jeremy, I have a
surprise for you.
Your dad's here.
Nicholas.
I would have been here
sooner, but, uh..
...there was this
location thing and, uh..
I mean, and when they
told me about Peg, I..
Your mother, I..
Look, I know this is strange..
...for both of us.
'It'll take time, you know.'
[dramatic music]
Look, I'm, uh, gonna
check into a hotel now.
I'll pick you up
in the morning. How's that?
I'll...see you in the morning.
[music continues]
[birds chirping]
- Hi.
- I'm, uh, Jeremy's father.
Oh, yes.
I'm Tom Bradford, come on in.
Jeremy's getting
his things together.
Ah...could I speak
to you, alone?
- Oh, uh, sure.
- Alright.
I, uh..
...I did a lot of
thinking last night.
That's understandable.
Anyway, wha-what I thought
was that it might be good
if Jeremy and I got to know
each other a little better
before I took him
back to LA.
He could stay here...and I'll
keep the hotel room.
I see.
I-it'll just be for
a couple of days.
I guess with eight kids
you've got this
father stuff
pretty well down but..
Me, well..
It's not so mysterious
after a while.
Yeah, I guess it's just
the way it came about
so suddenly, uh..
I'd...really appreciate it.
Oh, sure. Alright.
Oh, that's great.
I'll call my office
and make the arrangements.
'Well, why don't you tell
Jeremy what we decided.'
'Um, tell him
I'll pick him up later.'
Then we'll...do something.
[instrumental music]
You know, I haven't been
to a zoo since I was a kid.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Me too.
[birds chirping]
Guess it wasn't such
a good idea, huh?
It's okay.
Yeah?
Uh, do you want some more
popcorn or somethin'?
Ah, needs butter.
- Do you live in Beverly Hills?
- Beverly Hills?
[laughs]
No.
Encino.
Oh.
How about an ice cream?
No thanks.
Is Encino near Malibu?
- Well, about a half an hour.
- Oh.
I guess you like
rock 'n' roll, huh?
- Yeah.
- Who do you like?
The Birds?
Who?
I guess they're not
so big anymore.
No, I don't think so.
- The gorillas are over there.
- Alright.
[elephants trumpeting]
- How about a hot dog?
- Nah.
[instrumental music]
[knock on door]
Just a minute.
Yeah?
Oh, boy, you know,
they've got to do something
about the air pollution
in this city.
[crickets chirping]
So how'd it go today?
Pfft..
That good, huh?
We went...to the zoo.
Hmm. That sounds exciting.
Oh, yeah,
the zebras are a real blast.
Well, the first time
is always the toughest.
I have a feeling
the second's not
gonna be so great either.
Tomorrow, we're taking
the tour of the capital.
Hmm.
I see what you mean.
You know, Jeremy, you're
gonna have to realize that..
Well, you're dad's not used
to being around
somebody your age.
Tell me about it, he still
thinks "The Birds" are in.
Aren't they?
How should I know.
You know what I think?
I think he doesn't care about
the zoo or the capital either.
'Maybe tomorrow you could
suggest something'
'that you both would like.'
Couldn't hurt, could it?
Maybe.
The air seems to be clearing
in here a little.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
Splitting a double header
to even up the series
at two each.
And that's a look
at sports. John?
Thanks, Joannie,
and welcome aboard
the Channel News team.
Coming up next, a look at how
one family deals with inflation
when Channel News continues.
[instrumental music]
Way to go, Joannie.
Oh, thank you, John.
Ooh..
Joannie, you were sensational!
Over phone calls already.
The switchboard is going crazy!
- They're calling about me?
- That's right.
- They like me?
- Of course not, they hate you.
- Hate me?
- Well, you don't understand.
You see, for every
one of those people
'there are hundreds out there
that love you.'
Well, why don't they call?
Because they just don't.
Well, that doesn't seem
very logical.
This is television, Joannie.
Television.
(Peter)
'Eight ball, corner pocket.'
(Jeremy)
'Oh, you're kidding.'
- Oh, man.
- Game. Rack 'em up.
Hey, don't take it so hard.
We could be touring
the capital, you know.
[chuckles]
What kinda house
do we live in?
Uh...we don't.
I mean, it's,
uh, an apartment.
That's cool. What's
the movie you're doing?
Well, it's about bees, actually.
Sounds scary, who's in it?
Eh, just the bees,
I'm afraid.
Huh?
'I-it's not a movie
you see in the theatres'
it's a documentary
for a wildlife association.
I thought you were a director.
I am.
Just not the kind
you were thinking of.
Oh.
I work for a small independent
production company.
It's not very glamorous.
My apartment is small,
and I drive a car
that needs a new transmission
if only I could afford one.
So you see it's not quite
what I think you had pictured.
So we're poor, we'll get by.
Your break.
See, the first thing you have
to do is get me into school.
Not that I like school
'cause I don't
but it'll kinda be
a hassle for you
if they come looking for me.
- You cook?
- Yeah, well--
Well, it's okay if you don't
'cause I kinda do a little.
I watched mom in the kitchen,
you know.
But we can eat out,
that'll be okay.
- Great burgers, huh?
- Yeah, great.
You know, I kinda hated
the idea of LA at first.
But I guess it'll
probably be alright.
You know, I've never
been to Disneyland.
I guess it's kinda corny, huh?
I guess you ought
to go once, right?
Right.
So when are we leaving?
- Where for?
- Home.
I think we should
leave tomorrow!
I don't know.
That's pretty soon.
Yeah, but the Bradford's
are kinda getting on my nerves.
I mean they are okay,
they're just a little boring.
Besides, I think the old man's
got something against me.
Maybe, we ought to wait
another day.
Why? We know each other
now, right?
Right.
Good then we can
leave tomorrow?
Why not?
Great. And what movie
are we gonna see tonight?
[crickets chirping]
(man on TV)
'Not tonight master'
'We can't go there tonight.'
Maybe he got
in a car accident.
Nah, you probably just
jump into conclusions.
But he's a half hour late.
He probably just
lost track of time.
Yeah, well. I'm gonna
wait for him outside.
The movie starts
in a few minutes.
Okay.
- Oh, any sign?
- No.
Well, I'm calling the hotel
just to make sure
nothing happened.
Oh, yes, Peter Andretti's
room please?
Are you sure?
No, wait a minute.
There couldn't be a mistake?
I see, well.
Yeah, thanks.
What?
Jeremy's father checked out.
Two hours ago.
[dramatic music]
[instrumental music]
(female # )
'Ten o'clock, staff meeting.'
'Lunch with Simon Carr.'
Uh, afternoon is clear.
I don't know a Simon Carr.
Oh, I know.
I'm giving you my schedule.
'You don't have anything.'
Well, any calls?
For me that is.
Yeah, just one.
Uh, Mr. Andretti
from Los Angeles.
He said you know
what it was about.
[telephone ringing]
- Hello?
- Oh, uh.
This is, uh, Tom Bradford,
Mr. Andretti.
Yes, um..
Would you excuse me
for a minute?
Well, look, Mr. Bradford..
'...I just can't keep Jeremy.'
I see.
It-it just won't work.
I mean, I-I-I thought
I could, but...my life..
Your, uh, life doesn't have
room for a -year-old boy.
Isn't that what you're
trying to say?
I don't expect you
to understand.
- But I'm not you, Mr. Bradford.
- 'You're right.'
'I don't understand.'
'Jeremy needs a father.'
But I can't be that.
I found that out.
'Look, I'm on the road a lot,
the apartment's small'
'a-and there's this woman now.'
It wouldn't be fair to her
or to Jeremy.
But most of all it
wouldn't be fair to you
isn't that right?
No, it wouldn't.
Is that such a crime?
He's your son! He's your
legal responsibility.
I've always lived up to my
financial obligation to Jeremy.
Financial? Is that all your
willing to do for your son?
That's all I can do.
That's just the way it is.
You mean to say
that you don't care
if he's put into
a foster home?
Of course I'd care.
But the reality is
he'll probably be
better off there
than with me.
'Look, I've got to go now.
We're pretty busy.'
I'm sorry.
I...I'm really sorry.
[dramatic music]
Yeah.
[music continues]
[birds chirping]
[instrumental music]
What do you want?
Jeremy, I talked
to your father today.
So?
Well, he went back to LA.
I don't...I don't think
he's gonna come back.
Good, he was a creep anyway.
- I know it hurts.
- It doesn't hurt.
Okay.
Sometimes it's hard
to figure why people do
the things they do,
but maybe they--
Do me a favor, okay?
Just can it!
This ain't "Father Knows Best."
[dramatic music]
Well, if you, if you wanna
talk about later, I--
I won't!
[music continues]
[music continues]
[sobbing]
(Tom)
'Well, what are we going
to do about him?'
(Abby)
'I don't know.
I just don't know'
I think we should call the
Child Welfare Board, tomorrow.
They'll just put him
in a foster home.
Well, maybe that's
for the best.
How can you say that?
Look, Jeremy's
just been rejected
by his own father.
And now you're suggesting
that we reject him too?
Abby, please,
I'm not insensitive
but I don't know
what else we can do.
Well, we'll figure
something out.
What can we possibly
figure out?
I don't know.
We'll find a home for him.
Abby, this is not a cocker
spaniel we're talking about.
This is a -year-old
problem child.
And you know people
are not knocking
down doors to take them in.
Well, we could let him
stay here for a little while.
But the house is bursting
at the seems now.
Not to mention the fact
he doesn't want to be here.
He hates living
in this house.
That's a defense mechanism
and you know it.
All the psychology
in the world
is not gonna change
the situation.
I am only thinking of a year
old confused boy's welfare.
I know. At the expense
of this family's welfare.
'Your first responsibility
lies here.'
How dare you question my
responsibility to this family?
I accepted your family with
all of its many problems
'a long time ago.'
No, I didn't mean to imply--
But it's obviously a different
story when it comes
to making a sacrifice
for one of my--
Abby, please calm down--
No, I'm not gonna
calm down because
see, I just never
realized how selfish
you could be, Tom Bradford,
until this moment!
- Where are you going now?
- Downstairs.
I believe that's
where the rest of
the non-Bradford's
sleep around here!
[dramatic music]
[instrumental music]
(Nicholas)
'Okay, you guys.'
'But you gotta wait your turns'.
'Now here are the rules.'
cents for five minutes
and a quarter extra to know
where the good pages are.
cents?
A good education's expensive.
- This better be worth it.
- It is.
And what if I don't
like what I see?
See a shrink.
Time's up. Next!
What a racket.
bucks in recess alone.
Yeah.
You know, if we make Xerox
copies of these pictures
we could branch out
to other schools.
We can really rake it in.
(Ralph)
'Hey, wait, where you going?'
'You still have
seconds left.'
Five minutes
for a quarter, right boys?
[indistinct chattering]
Oh, we're, we're in
the locker room.
And they said you didn't know
anything about football.
Ah, but you said we were gonna
do the interview on the field.
We always do the live interviews
in the locker room.
- Uh, I know, but--
- Player prefer it that way.
Joannie, we don't have much time
before we go on the air.
- Ned Naughton's over there.
- Ah, where?
Next to the guy
in the supporter.
Oh, heh-ha. Right, ha-ha!
My brother has one.
Ah..
Well..
Ah...hello, Ned.
I'm Joannie Bradford
from Channel News.
We would like to have
a few comments from you
about the game while..
...you're taking off
your pants.
Yeah, well, if I don't
the other players will laugh
at me in the shower.
seconds.
- Uh! No, wait!
- 'It's okay.'
'I've got him
from the waist up.'
Oh, heh-heh, ooh, it's okay
we got you from the waist up.
- Too bad.
- 'Ten seconds.'
- 'Move closer, Joannie.'
- What?
'The framing's too wide,
move closer, Joannie!'
- 'Bradford, move it!'
- Yeah.
'Stand by.'
Four, three, two..
We're in the Sacramento
locker room with linebacker
Nude Naughton!
Ned.
Ned?
Oh!
Did I say Nude, Ned?
No, you just said "Nude."
[laughing]
Can you believe that, folks.
After a tough game like that
and he still has
his sense of humor.
Well, that's right.
[instrumental music]
Hi.
Hi.
I'm sorry, Abby.
About last night.
I guess I was selfish.
I don't know.
It's just so frustrating,
you know.
I know.
You see, I've never dealt
with a kid like Jeremy before.
All the kids I've
ever dealt with
I could always
reason with them...eventually.
I don't know,
I guess I'm just
overreacting again as usual.
I guess I was overreacting
a little myself.
What's Jeremy doing?
Oh, just what he's
been doing all day.
Moping around the house.
Tom, think about this
do you remember
how you felt
when your father
abandoned your family?
Yeah, I was pretty bitter.
But at least you still had your
mother for a long time, right?
Jeremy's father left him
when he was little baby.
And then his mother dies while
he's still just a little boy.
'Then his father
rejects him again.'
'Don't you see how he must
look at the world?'
Reject everyone else
before they can reject you.
It took you years
to forgive your dad.
Don't you think Jeremy deserves
just a little bit of our time
to help him learn to forgive?
[instrumental music]
What's wrong with you?
Well, you know how it is
living with the Brady Bunch.
What happened?
I got caught selling looks out
of one of Mary's medical books.
The one about female anatomy?
Yea.. How'd you know?
Found it your room.
You weren't supposed
to be in there.
Neither was the book.
Yeah, well, the principal made
me give back all the money
and now I have to wash and dry
dishes every night for a week.
Which means I'll miss
my favorite show tonight.
I thought they only showed
those stupid cartoons
on Saturday mornings.
Why don't you shut up?
Why don't you make me?
That's what I thought,
another Bradford chicken.
You know, if you
hate us so much
why don't you leave?
Maybe I will.
Yeah, well, it'd be great
'cause we don't like
having you around.
Ask me if I care.
I don't have to ask you
if you care.
The only thing that you care
about is yourself.
(male # )
'Joannie, coming outta this tape
you'll have a minute back.'
Uh-huh, no, I don't
have anything left.
Okay, uh, fill
for with John
and I'll make the rest up
during the weather.
Coming out on camera .
Stand by, please.
Ooh...fill with what?
We'll just chat
about the tape.
But I didn't see the tape.
Don't worry, kid.
You just follow my lead.
I'll carry the ball.
Four, three, two..
- Boy, what a ball game, huh?
- Sensational!
Well, with a guy like Tom Landry
how can you miss, right?
Right, heh.
You know, John,
I can't say enough about
what a super athlete he is.
I didn't know he was a player
before he started coaching.
C-coaching?
Oh, coaching! Of course.
Well, what I meant was
that even a coach
has to be a good athlete.
You think so?
No.
Um, not literally.
Ah-huh.
Well, I-I,
what I meant is
that...an athlete in
the brawn sense of the word
in a sense that we're all..
...athlete's in
the game of life!
Camera .
I think it's time
for the weather.
Uh, the weather.
Right.
Time to move on, huh?
You're gonna stop me?
Oh, no, no. I..
Good.
So, w-where do you
think you'll go?
I don't know,
San Diego, maybe.
Yes, San Diego
is a nice town.
I guess you'll look for work.
'That won't be easy
but of course you know that.'
In fact, right now, it's
probably next to impossible.
But who knows, you'll get
lucky maybe, right?
Do you have any place in mind
where you gonna stay?
Just hang-out some place.
Yeah, th-that's right,
just keep moving all the time.
'In case the authorities and--'
You said you weren't
gonna stop me.
I'm not, it's just that, you
know, they're gonna come around
here looking for you eventually
and if you are caught
they would just put you
in an institution
temporarily until
they can find a foster home.
If they could find one.
They won't get me.
Nah.
Of course, if you decide
to change your mind
and stay here, you know,
just until we can figure
something out,
that might be a lot easier.
I'm not a charity case.
Oh, I know that. Oh, no.
You'd have to pull
your own weight
and abide by the rules.
It'd be pretty grim.
Well, then..
...that's your decision.
[instrumental music]
Jeremy, for what it's worth..
...I'd like you to stay.
[music continues]
If it's the dumb show
I think it is.
- It's on in ten minutes.
- Thanks.
[music continues]
Come on, hurry up!
[music continues]
[music from TV]
I told you
this was a great show.
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi, Joannie.
Oh, shouldn't you be down
at the TV station?
No, I'm back on days.
What about the sports report?
Well, they said I needed
a little more time--
Come on, will you look out..
I'm sorry, sorry.
Well, don't be depressed, you'll
be back on the air in no time.
Oh, I don't know, dad.
They told me to take
as many years as I needed.
Will you please be quiet.
This is the best part
of the show!
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
That man has his head
in a trash can.
- He eats garbage.
- For a living?
Just a hobby.
But he's going for the record.
A garbage eating record, huh?
He's only got
more seconds left!
- That's disgusting!
- That's the name of the show.
You guys, how can you
watch this kinda junk.
I mean it's an insult
to your intelligence.
Well, we really don't
have much of a choice.
I mean, this type of show is on
every night on every channel.
Oh, I don't believe it.
I don't believe it is
on Thursdays at .
- You're pulling my leg!
- Wednesdays at .
This is crazy!
Mondays at .
That's garbage!
I think he can do
it this time.
How many seconds
does he have?
Five.
(both)
Four, three, two, one..
(both)
He did it! Yeah!
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
05x03 - Jeremy
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The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.