01x06 - Over the Hill Hero

[bunniefuu]

[Clock ticking]

[Alarm ringing]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[Sneezing]

[Uncontrollable sneezing]

[expl*si*n]

[Sneezing]

[expl*si*n]

[Sneezing]

[Explosions]

[♪♪♪]

[Chuckles]

Great, nothing like a few sneeze bombs to clear out a village,

eh, Scratch?

Honk!

Ah, much better.

Robotnik gave you sinuses?

He didn't give me sinuses?!

I know!

Sneeze bombs away!

Look, Sonic!

There's a big black cloud over hilltop village!

I see it, Tails.

And where there's a black cloud, Robotnik's behind it!

I feel the need, the need for speed!

[Whooshing]

Hey, wait for me!

Look at 'em run, fear, panic, dread, terror!

[Cackles]

Yeah, makes you proud to be a robot!

-Uh-oh, look! -Uh-oh!

Sonic's coming!

So what?

This'll slow him down!

[Chuckles]

[Screams]

[Sneezing]

A sneeze b*mb!

Just what I've always wanted!

[Sniffs]

Never fear, Captain Rescue is here!

Whoah!

[Screams]

[Whirring]

[Sonic] Hey, whattya tryin' to do?

[Bell ringing]

[Inhaling]

[Sneezing]

[Sonic sneezing]

[Sonic sneezing]

I'll help you, Sonic!

[Sneezes]

I guess my sneeze b*mb catcher went a little off course.

[Sneezes]

A little off course!

Are you a--

[Sneezes]

Schmoe, or what?

Schmoe? Me?

Of course not!

I'm a hero!

I am captain rescue!

The golden boy of gadgets, the vanquisher of villainy,

friend of the friendless, and hope of the hopeless.

Hey!

Look!

[Evil laughter]

Oh.

[Screaming]

[Crash]

I've gotta let the air outta some robot rats.

[Grunts]

[Whooshing]

[Sneezing]

[expl*si*n]

[Both screaming]

Way to go, Sonic!

Am I one hot hedgehog, or what?

Nice work, Sonic.

Reminds me of great superhero stuff that I used to do.

Look.

[Zapping]

[Trumpeting]

[Captain Rescue] Allover Mobius, I had people saying,...

[♪♪♪]

[Screaming]

...'Who was that masked racoon?'

I saw you on Mobius TV, Sonic

and I figured you needed my help.

Thanks but no thanks, Old timer.

Tails here is my main man.

Old timer, Old timer?!

Why, I was saving Mobius from bad guys

when you were still a hedgehoglet!

I think you hurt his feelings, Sonic.

Well, guys like him oughtta know when to quit.

Robotnik would eat him for lunch!

[Clatters]

Failed again, did you?

Why no, Your Supreme awfulness!

In fact, we succeeded wonderfully.

In a kind of negative way.

Silence!

You dumbots wouldn't know success if it bit you

on the bumper!

While I the baron of badness, the knight of nastyosity

am on the brink of my greatest success!

My Egg-O-matic force field!

Nothing can penetrate it!

No force on Mobius can damage it!

[Zapping]

What's it for?

Observe.

The force field demands incredible power.

[Robotnik] I need this solar satellite orbiting Mobius to provide it.

And hilltop village gives me best access to the satellite.

[Zapping]

As the force field expands, I can spread my control

over every corner of Mobius!

[Scratch] And what happens to the hedgehog?

[Robotnik] I'll drive him off the planet!

[Evil laugh]

how do ya know Robotnik's robogoons

are gonna att*ck again, Sonic?

'Cause Robotnik believes any bad worth doing

is worth doing twice.

And here they come now!

Tenhutt!

I order you to halt!

Hold on!

Who do you think you are?

I'm general disorder, head of m*llitary intelligence!

I have orders to lead this platoon in an att*ck on the rear

of hilltop village.

As per special orders - section paragraph ,

revised April first, via secret provision A,

section subsection heretofore known as

marching orders number - section

subsection paragraph . Got it?

Right, general disorder!

That's general disorder, sir, to you!

Now out of the way!

Forward, march!

Wow!

He's leading them right to the cliff!

Huh, that's m*llitary intelligence for you!

Squad, fall out!

[Captain Rescue] Hold, villains!

[Scratch] Hey!

You're the overweight raccoon that helped us out last time!

I am Captain Rescue!

The golden boy of gadgets.

The golden boy of gadgets, eh?

Then you're gonna love my gadgets!

[♪♪♪]

-Hey! -Hey!

[♪♪♪]

[Screaming]

[Scratch] Enough duelling gadgets!

Hey, put me down!

Sure thing!

Down at the bottom of the cliff!

[Cackles]

[Screaming]

That raccoon's gettin' to be a real pain in the spines!

Gotcha!

-I got 'em! -They're mine!

[Overlapping speech]

[Clucking]

[Whirring]

[Thuds]

If I can't build my force field big enough to contain Mobius,

then, with that raccoon's help, I'll make it just the right size

to trap Sonic permanently!

You're makin' my work go really slow.

I just wanted to help.

Yeah?

With help like yours, we don't need badniks!

Are you...

...Captain Rescue?

[Captain Rescue] You know me?

Know you?!

You were my favourite superhero when I was a lad!

I still have my captain rescue action figure!

Well, that was a long time ago.

I'm just an over the hill superhero now.

At least so says a certain hedgehog.

You mean Sonic?

Oh, don't listen to him!

He's always hedge-hogging all the glory!

He is?

Sure!

I have some great evil-fighting gadgets

but he won't let me try 'em!

I think we can fight rotteness just as good as that hedgehog

don't you?

Well, uh-- I don't know.

Sure we can!

With your gadgets and my genius, we'll team up

to grab some bad guys!

Let's show that hedgehog!

Yeah, let's show that hedgehog!

[Laughs]

[Whooshing]

[Skidding]

Whadja stop for, Sonic?

I heard somethin'.

There, in the sky!

[Tails] Remote control planes!

I smell a Robotnik plan!

We gotta buzz, cuz!

[Whooshing]

I'm ready!

Alright, Captain Rescue!

Let's see that super dooper airplane scooper in action!

Oh no, it's Captain Rescue!

And it looks like he's in trouble!

[Whooshing]

Now, I'll stop those pesky planes!

[Whirring]

Uh-oh, uh-- A little problem here!

Looks like it's time for a Sonic spin!

Now to spring my trap!

[Yelps]

[Yelps]

[Groans]

Captain Rescue, are you hurt?

[Groans]

I'm okay, but look at Sonic!

Lemme outta here!

[Laughing]

Sonic is trapped in there.

And the rest of Mobius is out here!

[Laughs louder]

And it's mine!

It's mine!

All mine!

All mine!

With Sonic trapped in the force field.

Mobius is mine!

Mine!

Oh, did I say that already?

[Laughs insanely]

The force field hasn't been made that can hold

this hedgehog!

Round and round the hedgehog goes

and then he lands right on his nose!

[Evil laugh]

[Panting]

Get me outta here, you Egghead!

Tsk tsk!

Reduced to name calling!

How the mighty have fallen!

You can run all you want, hedgehog.

You're not going anywhere ever!

I hate to admit it but ol' eggs-for-brains might be right!

Let Sonic go, or I'll make you sorry you ever tangled

with Captain Rescue!

Ow, hey leggo!

Put me down!

[Laughter]

It's obvious that your superhero days

were all in the past.

[Laughs contemptuously]

Let me help you.

[Grunts]

This is terrible!

It wasn't your fault.

[Panting]

Of course it is!

There's no fool like an old fool.

Sonic was right.

I'm not a superhero any more.

Wait, we've gotta save Sonic!

Find somebody else.

I'm no good.

[Grunting]

Careful, Grounder!

[Grunting]

You be careful!

Be careful, you two!

Citizens of Hilltop village!

I am putting Sonic the hedgehog on display here,

as an example of what happens to those who defy me!

[Fleering]

Betcha can't hurt me, bolts-for-brains!

Oh yeah?

Ow!

Sonic has interfered in my plans for the last time!

[Scratch] Look out!

No!

[Grunts]

Uh, sorry boss!

-Whoah! -Whoah!

[Tails] Gee, Sonic, what am I supposed to do?

I wish I knew, keed.

[Both screams]

But right now I'd get the heck outta here!

[Chuckles]

Nothing like a little urban renewal, eh, Scratch?

And to think we get paid for this!

[Cackles]

We do?

Sonic there's gotta be a way out of here!

[Captain Rescue] Tails!

Uh, how'd you find me?

I asked around for the retired superhero part of town.

C-can I come in?

Wow, lookit all this neat stuff!

It's all junk now.

You gotta do something!

The badniks are tearing up the village!

And Sonic is trapped inside that force field!

I'm sorry about that.

But I'm no good at this superhero stuff any more.

The Captain Rescue who used this, wouldn't talk like that.

Actually, I use that to unclog my drains.

None of this stuff even works any more!

Couldn't ya fix it?

Ah, I don't know..

Please, I really am scared about Sonic.

Okay, kid!

I'll try.

[Tails] Yippee!

All right, kid let's go kick some robot rear!

[Screaming & groaning]

All right!

But it's a long way to hilltop village.

How do we get there?

[Whirring]

The rescue rocket.

Wow, can I drive?

Wonderful!

Soon hilltop village will be destroyed!

[Screaming]

What was that?

[Scratch] Whaddya think of us dumb robots now, hedgehog?

I think you guys are probably too dumb to get outta

the way of that!

[Clucks]

[♪♪♪]

[Groans]

What hit us?

It's that wretched raccoon!

Get him!

Captain Rescue to the rescue!

Captain Rescue!

Will that rocket go wherever you want?

It sure will!

[Robotnik] Stop them!

And hurry!

We've got two more villages to demolish before lunchtime!

I don't get it, Sonic!

How is going up gonna get you outta there?

I've gotta get you started in school real soon!

'cause you would learn that the air pressure

is thin up there.

Sure!

And that'll make the force field expand until it bursts!

[Whooshing]

[Screaming]

No!

[Chuckles]

Now we gotcha!

Just wait 'til Dr. Robotnik sees what we've done!

I wonder what he'll say?

[Robotnik] Yeow!

-Yeow? -Yeow?

[expl*si*n]

Force field's gettin' weaker!

I'll help it along!

[expl*si*n]

Did it!

But how'm I gonna get down?

Oh yeah.

I'll fall!

Surrender!

Or taste my badnik boomerang!

Take your best sh*t, old timer!

Oh, my!

Bah! Those toys of yours are worthless,

you old raccoon!

Pretty cool underwear, though.

[Cackles]

I'm not old!

I'm mature!

You won't be so tough when Sonic gets back!

That hedgehog?!

Last time saw him, he was headed for the twin moons of Mobius!

But I'm baaaack!

Thanks for the lift!

[Squawk]

Uh-oh!

Sonic!

You're just in time to witness the triumph of terribleness.

In the person of me, Dr. Robotnik!

Scratch, turn Sonic into atomic dust!

Captain Rescue, do something!

Yes!

The trick I pulled back in , my robot wrapper!

Hey, what's going on?

[Both grunting]

They've gotten free!

Stop them!

Hurry!

We're hopping as fast as we can!

Hey, put me down!

Great job.

Fantastic job!

Couldn't have done better myself!

Ya really mean that, Sonic?

I blew it when I put you down.

You've still got moves I'll never have.

Next to Sonic, you're my favourite hero.

Thanks, Tails.

When I need advice or a Badnik-battlin' invention,

I'm comin' to you.

I'll be here.

See ya, pardner!

See ya!

I like that hedgehog!

I think we're lost, Captain Rescue.

All we have to do is head north.

Lost, eh?

Don't you young folks know that moss grows heaviest

on the north side of a tree?

Thank you, sir.

Thanks.

That old bear really knew what he was talking about!

Right, Tails!

Older people can be very wise and they often know the right

direction to take in life!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]