02x05 - The Boston Tea Party Caper

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

♪ Sandiego ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Where in the world ♪

♪ Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

[seagulls cawing]

[Shadowsan] I like it.

Even if it does need work.

I wouldn't put out
the welcome mat just yet.

The idea of even having a headquarters
may be a little too "VILE Island" for me.

Carm, the joint's wicked humongous!

Gotta be enough room in there

for a bowling alley,
and a ninja training gym,

for our private sessions.

[phone ringing]

[Player] Hey, Red, how's San Diego?

I'm feeling a little ganged up on
at the moment.

I meant your location, over there
on the sunny west coast of Cali-forn-i-a.

And Player can get his own room!

Um, I have my own room.

I thought he lived in the cloud?

Nope, though I am hearing voices again,
from the internet.

And this time, they're telling me

VILE's all abuzz
about some kind of racing prototype.

[Zack] Racing? As in a car?

Why would VILE want a race car?

[gasps] Maybe it's a flying race car.

Uh, those exist, bro,
they're called airplanes.

Ah, remember our racer?

She didn't actually fly,
but, boy, could she...

- Vroom and zoom!
- Booyah!

I truly cannot fathom what possessed you

to staff your crew
with these unruly pranksters.

Oh, look who's suddenly taken an interest.

That is not what I meant.

Hmm. Funny enough, it was our race car
that brought us to Carmen.

Let us take you back.

Clear across the country on the east coast
of the good old U.S. of A.

Me and Ivy grew up in the south of Boston,
or "Southie" as we locals called it.

[Ivy] Not exactly a hoity-toity
part of town,

though some kids knew ways
to get quick cash whenever they needed it.

[Zack] But me and Ivy vowed
to use our superpowers for good.

[tires screeching]

[Zack] Behind the wheel
and under the hood.

Booyah!

Vroom and zoom.

[Ivy] Lydia, our racer,
was totally custom.

[Zack] Big sis pretty much built her
with her own two hands.

[engine revving]

[Ivy] Me and my little bro moved up
one race at a time,

from amateur to semipro,

working our way all the way up
to the professional league.

[Zack] And that day was upon us,

the final race
of the prequalifying season.

[Ivy] All we had to do
was place in the top five

to make it to the upcoming
regional championship,

to kick our racing career
to the next level.

[Zack] And start collecting
that prize money.

Okay, bro, stick close to the apron,
it'll give you the fastest line.

Except here on the final hairpin turn.

They call it "The Muncher."

It has a reputation for chewing up cars
and spitting 'em out.

Yeah, yeah. Keep it
to the outside perimeter. I got it, sis.

Excuse me, are you two lost?

Just asking, 'cause you're a long way
from the amateur track. [chuckles]

[Ivy] Meet Zack's nemesis. Trey Sterling.

[Zack] Rich kid, daddy's boy,
and all-around jerk.

Should be fun watching you
race against real cars.

You dare knock Lydia?

[chuckles] You gave that shopping cart
a name?

Forget about Trey, you gotta keep
your head in the game, bro.

You got this.

Yeah, I got this.

- [light beeps]
- [engine revving]

[beeps]

[beeps]

[engines revving]

Go, Zack!

- You're going the wrong way!
- Huh?

Amateur track's back there! [cackles]

[growls]

[tires screeching]

Come on, Zack,
stay away from that hairpin.

- No, no, no, no.
- [tires screeching]

Whoo-hoo!

Zack!

Booyah.

[Ivy] Fixing Lydia so we could get back
in the game

was gonna cost us some dough.

So we went back to the guy
who loaned us money

to build our car in the first place.

Shark Head Eddie.

[Zack] Being that we were supposed
to pay him back

once we won our first race
in the big leagues,

you know,
with the car we no longer had, heh,

Eddie suggested another way for us
to get quick cash to pay him back.

Strongly suggested.

Darryl's Donut Hole.

[Ivy] The joint was notorious
for having the worst donuts in Southie.

[Zack] And Eddie said
for a place with zero customers,

it got a ton of deliveries.

Which meant, the deliveries
were probably money stolen by...

- [gulps]
- ...The Mob.

[exhales]

- You ready?
- I don't know, Ivy.

Racing was supposed to keep us
out of crime, not drive us into it.

Maybe you should have thought of that
before you decided to ignore my advice

and crash our car.

[groans, head thuds]

Look, bro, it's one job.

We pay back Eddie
and use the spare cash to fix up Lydia,

then vroom, zoom, we're back in the races!

We can't give up on our dream,
not when we're this close.

Right, and besides,
we're stealing from the bad guys.

[lock clicking]

Ivy, how do you see out of these? [grunts]

Eye holes in the front, that's how!

[Zack gasps] What was that?

That's how we met Carm!

The end!

All that, and now you stop?

Eh. We were all casing the same joint
on the same night, the rest is history!

Or "her-story."

Things were a bit more complicated
the way I remember it.

[Player] No kidding.

[Carmen] It'd been a few months
since I escaped from VILE Island

after stealing the hard drive.

I did some traveling.

[Player] While I did some decrypting.

I discovered that VILE stole a set
of printing plates from the U.S. Treasury.

They were printing money
whenever they wanted to,

which means they had
their own printing press.

We just couldn't figure out
where they were hiding it.

[Carmen] We decided to follow a lead
on a VILE front

that had been receiving
regular cash drops,

in the hopes of following the couriers
back to their money factory

and find the stolen plates.

So months of preparation
were about to be put to the test,

on my very first caper as Carmen Sandiego.

Locked onto your position,
and security cameras disabled.

You ready, Red?

Ready as I'll ever be.

But someone's either doing a late night
donut run, or I have competition.

[Player] Other thieves
who steal from thieves?

[Carmen] Amateurs.

They have no idea
what they're stumbling into.

Player, change of plans.

[Player] Already? We're only five minutes
into your first job!

Who are you? What are you doing here?

- [Ivy] Who are you?
- [Zack] And what are you doing here?

You need to vacate immediately,
it's for your own safety.

[Ivy] Please, she just wants
the donut dough all to herself.

[Zack] Yeah, did Shark Head Eddie
send you, too?

[lock clicking]

[grunting]

- [Zack gasps] Is it the Mob?
- Trust me. Worse.

- [beeping]
- [lock clicking]

- [Zack] Holy guacamole.
- Shh.

Player, drop went down as scheduled.
Following bread crumbs.

You can cr*ck that, right, sis?

[Ivy] Uh...

Come on, we're following that lady
following those bread crumbs to the dough.

For your own safety.

- [engine starts]
- [Zack] My keys!

[tires screeching]

[Ivy] I got this.

[engine sputtering]

- [engine starts]
- [tires screech]

Seriously?

[gasps]

- [tires screech]
- [horn honks]

[crashes]

Ugh.

I'm a master thief
without a getaway driver.

[Player] Can't help you there, Red.
I don't even have my learner's permit.

Now we got her.

Huh?

- Follow that van.
- Bossy.

[tires screech]

[Ivy] They're taking .

There's only one place it goes,
the harbor.

They've been printing money on a boat?

No wonder we couldn't find
the printing press, it's mobile.

And so are we, but I know a shortcut.

- [engine turns off]
- [car doors close]

[Carmen] Player, I'm in position.

Waiting for the Cleaners
to arrive to tell me

just what I need to know
about Boston Harbor.

Listen, we can tell you everything
about our fair city!

What do you need to know?

Um...

In the early days
of our country's history,

when America was still a group
of colonies under British control,

colonists snuck aboard some British ships,

and dumped hundreds of boxes
of tea into the ocean.

[Ivy] It was their way
of protesting the British government,

who'd been forcing them to pay
high taxes on tea.

They called it the Boston Tea Party.

[Zack] And it was one of the key
incidents that led up

to the American Revolutionary w*r,
but Boston's not only about our history.

It has the best ball park in the world,
that would be Fenway,

home of the best baseball team ever!

Let's go, Red Sox! Let's go!

[Ivy] We also have
the best clam chowder, not red!

[Zack] If you like fish slop. [shudders]

Give me Boston baked beans,
or give me death!

[Ivy] Just don't call Boston Beantown,
Zack hates that.

[Zack] As in, I really, really hate that.

Well, Red, their facts check out.

Wow, you two really know
a lot about Boston.

[cart rattling]

Whoa!

That's gotta be more than enough dough
to pay off Eddie and fix our car.

Heck, we can buy a whole fleet of cars!

You're turning to crime to fix a car?

Not just any car. Lydia.

Our racer. So we can get back
into the regional championships.

Couldn't you get a loan
from a family member?

- Hey, could you loan me some...?
- Hey, could you loan me some...?

- Ah, never mind.
- Ah, never mind.

We're the only family we've got.

Understood.

Time to follow that van.

It's for your own safety.

[both grunting]

Come on, bro, we can't let her
take our cut of the dough.

Ready?

- One, two, hop.
- [both grunt]

[both grunting]

[Grunt] VILE needs another presence
in the good old U.S. of A,

so you fellas keep printing
that funny money

so we can buy up
some prime Beantown real estate.

- Oh, no. No, Zack.
- Never. Ever.

- Call Boston...
- No, no, no, no.

...Beantown!

[both yell, thud]

[Ivy] Oh, boy.

[grunting]

Hola.

- Jackpot.
- Stop right there.

- Le Chevre. Been a while.
- Black Sheep?

I go by Carmen Sandiego now.

Black Sheep, for your own safety,
put down the plates and leave, now.

And I will pretend I never saw you.

I told you, the name's Carmen,
and I can't do that.

Seriously, if you do not put those down,
I will need to...

- Always protect the face!
- [screams]

[panting]

So, there we were,
on a nighttime lobster run,

when we got
tripped up in this stupid rope.

[chuckles] Total freak accident, right?

- You gotta be kidding me.
- Black Sheep?

[Ivy grunts]

- But I thought you did not graduate.
- [Le Chevre] She didn't.

Ah, friends of yours?
Good work tying them up.

I didn't, they arrived this way.

The plates, or mon ami El Topo
throws your friends overboard.

[Ivy gasps] Whoa!

[grunting]

Wait! Take 'em.

[both grunt]

Throw her overboard!

I am sorry, Black Sheep.

[yelling]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[screams, splashes]

Catch me if you can.

[exhales]

- Thanks for untying us.
- Yeah, I need the rope.

A little help here, muscles?

Sure thing.

[grunts] Yah!

Milady.

Something that retracts
would be more practical,

maybe attached to the wrist
for easy access?

[imitates g*n cocking]

Oh, Ivy? [imitates g*n cocking]
That a-way.

[Ivy] Okay, just one more.

Sis, we don't wanna let bad guys buy up
prime Boston real estate, do we?

[wind howling]

[grunts]

What?

[both grunting]

[El Topo yells]

- [grunting]
- [crate splashes]

It's like our very own Boston Tea Party.

- [Ivy] Yeah, boy!
- [Le Chevre] No, no, no!

[Le Chevre grunts]

[grunts]

Whoa, whoa! [grunts]

[grunting]

[both grunt]

- [grunts]
- [grunts]

- [grunts]
- Ooh!

Whoa! [splashes]

[whimpers]

[Zack] So, you're really gonna return
the money-printing plates?

Despite appearances,
I don't commit crimes.

I'm out to take down
a certain criminal organization.

Uh, don't we have something called
the police for that?

The police have no idea
they exist, but I do.

It's technically stolen.

Get caught spending it, and the police
could put you away for a long time. It's...

- [Zack] Yeah, yeah.
- For our own safety.

[Player] Red, I just decrypted
another set of data, and it's juicy.

Here's hoping my second caper
goes more smoothly.

Once Eddie finds out
that we didn't cook up the donut dough,

he's gonna break more than breadsticks.

We gotta lay low.
Maybe even get outta Boston?

Player, book me a red eye.

So, uh, we were wondering,
got any room for us on your next job?

We got a shark chasing our tail.

[Player] You did say you could use
a getaway driver.

And they don't mind
stealing from bad guys.

So, about this retracting wrist thing
you mentioned...

[imitates g*n cocking]

[Grunt] I don't care
if she's calling herself Josie San Jose,

or Monica Santa Monica!

I will crush her for betraying family.

[Shadowsan scoffs]

Her actions tonight were a fluke!

How much damage could one girl
possibly inflict against VILE?

At the time, we had no sense
of the scope of your interference,

and now we do.

- Catastrophic!
- Whoo!

♪ Go, boss, it's your birthday
It's your birthday, oh, yeah ♪

Though, I question why they haven't yet
returned to pursuing their racing dreams.

We're along for this ride now.

We'll get around to fixing up Lydia
and paying back Eddie.

- Someday.
- Someday.

[Player] Hey, g*ng!

I dug up more intel on that car.

It's actually the world's fastest.

And VILE's plotting to steal it
during a racing event in Dubai.

Then I guess we'll have to steal it first.

[Player] Chartering you a flying car
to the Middle East right now.

Steal a race car!
We're back in our element!

[Zack] Vroom and zoom!

[engine starts, revs]

See? An HQ would be wasted
on movers and shakers like us.

- [car door closes]
- [tires screeching]

[music playing]