10x05 - Three Little Twirps

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

♪ I... ♪

Swing it!

Now, snap it up, you twirps.

The boss will be here
any minute.

This is one job
we're gonna do right.

Right. Right.

Right, right. Right, right.

Now, wait a minute.

Everything all right?

Right. Right.

Go ahead. Mmph!

Oh, hungry, eh?

How'd you like to have a carrot?

[WHINNIES]

How would I like
to have a carrot?

[WHINNIES]

I beg your pardon.

b*at it, grandpa.
We got no time for kibitzers.

Come here. I'm sorry, Moe.

I didn't know your face
was there.

I didn't know yours
was there either. Go on.

[GRUNTS]

[FRUSTRATED WHINE]

[WHIMPERS]

What's the idea taking my tools?
Why don't you use you own?

I just wanna borrow it. Oh.

[GRUNTING]

Look what you did to the poster.

So what? I'll fix it.
[BRAKES SQUEALING]

[GROANS]

Well, you better hurry.
Here comes the boss.

All right.
Get the other poster, quick.

Give it here.

[CURLY YELPING]

[BARKS]

Well, it looks
pretty good, boys.

That wild man seems uglier
every time I look at it.

I resemble that.

What did you say?
Nothing. That's my asthma.

[HUMS] Never mind your asthma.

How about our pay, boss?

We don't pay off in money, boys.

You get free tickets
to the circus.

Now, here's yours,

and here's yours.

Hey, what about mine?

And you'll get yours when I--

Cheaters, frauds!
You ruined my poster.

Why, you...

[MOANS]

[FRUSTRATED WHINE]

[♪]

Oh. Say, I haven't been
to the circus

since I got out of
the fourth grade.

Yeah. That was last year.
[WHINES]

I can hardly wait.

You're all wrong, dimwits.
We're not going to the circus.

We're gonna sell these tickets
for eating money.

You spoiled my day.
I get a bang out of a circus.

Well, have your bang now.

[CHITTERS]

All right, folks. Step right up
and get cut-rate tickets:

One dollar tickets for cents.

Here it is. Half price.
All right.

[WHINES]

My ticket.

Oh!

Oh, buddy. Hand me that roll,
will you, please?

Thank you.

Ooh...

Three yards, just perfect.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Here you are, folks.
Get your tickets here.

Here you are, folks.
Why spend cents?

A dollar ticket for cents.
Step right up.

Look out, boys. You bother me.
Go away. This way, folks.

Now, wait a minute, folks.
Take it easy.

I gave you a bargain too.

I'll take two of those.
Here you are, sir.

I'll take one. Here you are.

Give me one of those, will you?
This is a real bargain.

Here you are.
There's tickets for everybody.

Don't rush me, folks.

I'll take tickets.

Ninety?
Ooh, that's quite a family.

That'll be about--

[STAMMERS]

What are you trying to do,
cut my throat?

[WHINES]

Here. This is for you.

Now get busy.

Here you are, folks.
Get your tickets here, folks.

[CHATTERING]

Tickets for everybody, now.
Tickets for everybody.

Say, get to the end of the line.

You're no better than anybody.
Is that so?

Gotta go now.

[WHINES]

[BOTH YELL]

Why, you--

Hey, there they go. Get them!

[WHIMPERING]

[YELLS]

Pardon me, bud.
[FALSETTO] Don't mention it.

I mean, pardon me, madam.

Oh, you must be the blind date
Tattooed Sadie sent over.

I'm not blind and I'm no date.

Don't be shy,
my little bald-headed eagle.

You remind me
of my seventh husband.

You remind me
of a girlfriend in Detroit.

But you look more like
her stepfather.

Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
Oh, you funny man.

You k*ll me.

[YELPS]

You're not doing me any good.
Let me get out of here.

Oh...

You big, beautiful boy.

Oh, I bet you tell that
to all the boys.

I love you.
Oh, don't be superstitious.

Oh, don't do that.

Say.

Effie. Effie.

[SCISSORS SNIPPING]
You're on in a minute.

Are all right?

Effie, Effie!

CURLY [FALSETTO]: Just a moment.

Well, it's about time.

Come on, the crowd's
waiting for you out there.

Yes? Well, hurry up. Hurry up.

[CURLY WHIMPERING]

I hope we have a big house
out there, don't you?

[WHINES]

You forgot the moustache.

Oh, you...

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Hey, there's only room
for one in here. Scram.

[FRUSTRATED GRUNTING]

[BOTH GRUNT]

What's the matter with you?

Why, you.

[YELLS]

MAN: Let's go, men.
Search all the tents.

We gotta find
someplace to hide. Come on.

Hey. What?

Let's hide in this. What is it?

A horsehide. I'll play
the head and shoulders,

you play the other part.

I want those men found. Scatter.

[CURLY WHINNYING]

Ho, ho.

[WHINNYING]

There's horses over there.

We'll be safe with them.
Come on.

[CURLY WHINNIES]

[SPLUTTERS]

[WHINNIES]

No, boss. I ain't seen nobody.

Hey, you know we're
all out of lion meat?

What do you suppose
those horses are for?

You look like lion food.

[HORSE WHINNIES]

Come with me.

Oh, boy. He's gonna lead us
right out of the grounds.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
Come on.

Gee, I hate to do this,
but the lions have gotta eat.

What's feeding the lions
got to do with us?

[GIGGLES]

Now close your eyes
and you won't feel it.

[WHIMPERS]

Put it up there.

[CURLY WHIMPERS]

[GRUNTS] [CURLY WHINNIES]

I'll get you now, you...

Turn around, there,
so I can sh**t you right.

[CURLY WHINNIES]

There, that's better.

[CURLY WHINNYING]

I'll get you yet.

Oh, I'll give you a lesson
you'll never remember.

[CURLY WHINNYING]

Hey, you're supposed
to fall down.

Look out, look out,
look out, look out!

Whoo!

[CURLY GRUNTING]

[YELPING]

What are you trying to do,
scare people to death?

Come on, get out
of that oilskin. Hurry up.

Come on.

[CURLY GRUNTS]

MOE: There you are.
Come on, you guys.

Wait a minute.

There they are!

[WHIMPERS]

Go on, kid--
Stand back. Stand back!

[GRUNTS] Let 'em have it.

We're right behind you.

Nyuck, nyuck. Oh?

MAN : Oh!
MAN : Get me some lion food.

Come on. There they are.

I'm gonna see
that you get the limit for this.

Officer, take these men-- Boss.

We're in a tough spot.
What's the matter?

Why, what are we gonna do
about that Zulu spear thrower?

I can't get any volunteers
for the human target act.

I think I can solve the problem
right now.

Boys.

I'm gonna give you a chance.

How'd you like
to join the circus?

The circus? Oh, boy.

The circus.
And we're good performers too.

I do impersonations.

Here's an impersonation
of a wolf.

"Hiya, babe." Ooh! Come on.

I know you don't care
for that stuff.

We do sleight of hand--
BOSS: Never mind.

Louie'll show you what to do.

Thanks, boss. You don't know
what you're doing for us.

Oh, yes, I do.
Oh, you're a honey, boy.

Okay, Louie, take us away.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[SNAPPING AND POPPING]

[BARKS THEN WHIMPERS]

[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

[LAUGHS]

Heya! Whoo-ah!

[INDISTINCT SPEECH]

Oh, yeah? Ha-ha-ha-ha! Gee,
it's fun to be in the circus.

I wonder what kind of an act
we're gonna do. I don't know.

Look.

Boy, what some people will do
to earn a living.

Ladies and gentlemen,

introducing
three fearless natives

who will defy death
by acting as human targets.

What does he mean,
human targets?

I don't know.

And now, in his regal splendor,

the untamed Sultan of Arabadaba.

[MAN GROWLING]

[BARKS] [WHIMPERS]

[SPUTTERING]

[ALL WHIMPERING]

[WHIP CRACKS]

ANNOUNCER: For his first feat,

the sultan will hurl
his razor-edged spear

one inch over the head
of the man in the middle.

Right, sultan?

[DRUMROLL PLAYS]

[WHIMPERING]

Another amazing feat:

two spears.

[ALL WHIMPER]

[WHIMPERING, SNORTING]

Take it easy, now, will you?

For the first time
before any audience,

the sultan will attempt
to hurl eight spears.

Four in each hand,
with the aid of a mirror.

[DRUMROLL PLAYS]

[APPLAUSE]

[YELLING]

[BARKING]

[ALL MURMURING]

[WHINING]

[YELLING]

[CHUCKLING]

[LAUGHING]

[WHIMPERING]

[SULTAN CONTINUES LAUGHING]

[CURLY WHIMPERS]

[SHUSHES]

[WHIMPERING]

[APPLAUSE]

[YELPING]

[GROWLING]

[CONTINUES YELPING]

[LAUGHING]

CURLY: Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!

Help me, help me!

What'll we do?

The life net. Hurry.

Okay, kid,
keep a stiff upper lip.

All right.

[CURLY WHIMPERS]

Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!
Help me, help me!

Let go next time around, kid.

[CURLY WHOOPING THEN GRUNTING]

[♪]