03x03 - Princess and The Partridge

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together

♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on

♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together

♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song

♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

Mmm-hmm.

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, well, thanks
anyway, Paula.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's
kind of late in the week to ask.

Okay. Yeah, bye.

Don't tell me America's
sex symbol can't get a date.

It's no use.

You can't make me feel any
more miserable than I already am.

Oh, why did you call
so late in the week?

For your information, I had
a date with Naomi Ledbetter.

But she sprained
her knee in gym.

Aw.

Well, why don't you
ask Yvonne Klemper?

She's always available.

That's why.

You don't have a
date this weekend?

Oh, I... I had a date.

But she has water on the knee.

Keith, there is no rule that says you
have to have a date every weekend.

Yeah, I don't
have a date either.

We'll have a great time.

Think I'll go call
Yvonne Klemper.

- Hi, everybody.
- Hi, Reuben.

Hi, Reuben.

Say, Keith. What do you
got planned this weekend?

Nothing.

Laurie, if you don't mind,
I can speak for myself.

Nothing.

How would you
like me to fix you up?

Thanks, Reuben, but I
can get my own dates.

That's it, Keith. Don't let him
know how desperate you really are.

This is just not a
date, this is a princess.

Uh, let's see. The
last time you said that,

the princess turned
out to be your cousin,

affectionately known as Chubby.

You don't understand. This
one is a princess, a real princess.

She is in this country on a visit
sponsored by the State Department.

Reuben, are you serious?

She is a fan.

She wanted to meet Keith, so they arranged
her trip to include a few days here.

I think you are serious.

Picture is in this
morning's paper.

She is even better looking
than Naomi Ledbetter.

And probably has better knees.

Oh, one more thing.

A telegram from the
Secretary of State.

"Dear Mr. Partridge,
congratulations.

"It is your honor to have been
chosen as host to a visiting dignitary.

"It is not only an honor,
but a great responsibility.

"I'm sure you will
handle this duty well

"and will at all times bear in
mind that you are representing

"the United States of America."

Keith?

Now, remember, Keith,

this is your chance to move
up in the social structure.

Don't blow it.

I wonder if I should have worn
my blue suit. It looks more dignified.

Keith, you look fine.

Besides, she's here to
meet you, not your suit.

Everybody, this
is Cecil Turnbow.

He's from the Diplomatic Corps.

You're a diplomat?

Ah, you were expecting a
blue suit and a tie, weren't you?

Well, we have to change with
the times just like everyone else.

How do you do, Mr. Turnbow?
It's very nice to meet you.

Cecil, please. And
that goes for everyone.

I don't want you to think of
me as a government official.

Think of me as a friend.

Oh, I want you to meet my
counterpart from the Princess's country,

Frederick La Forge.

We've heard so much about you.

It's a pleasure to meet such
a charming American family.

How do you do?

Now, mind your manners.

Remember, you're
representing America.

I wonder if the White
House knows about this.

May I present her highness,
Princess Genevieve.

Your Highness, this
is Shirley Partridge.

I'm very pleased to
meet you, Mrs. Partridge.

We're delighted
to have you visit us.

And this is Laurie.

How do you do? Hello.

Say, that's a great purse.
Where did you get it?

Oh, downtown at
Murphy's on sale for $..

That's terrific. I'll
have to stop by there.

Oh, this is Danny.

Hello, Danny.

Your Majesty.

Chris and Tracy.

Chris, Tracy.

And this is Keith.

Now, you two just relax
and get to know each other.

Hi. Hi.

Well, how was your...

Excuse me, the
reporters are waiting.

Trip?

I knew you two would hit it off.

Hi, kids. You
better get dressed.

The Princess will be here soon.

Well, that's what we
came to talk to you about.

What's the matter? Keith.

Keith? He's a creepo.

He's upstairs, picking out what
we're supposed to wear tonight.

Yeah, he even wants
to rehearse dinner

to see if our manners
are good enough.

That's not a bad idea.

He's also assigning
conversation topics.

Mine's the Treaty of Versailles.

Why did it fail?

Very interesting topic.

Mom, I get the feeling you're
not gonna do anything about this.

That's right, and
neither are you.

Look, this is Keith's date,

and he wants to make
a good impression.

And I want every one
of you to cooperate.

Besides, there's nothing
wrong with dressing up,

table manners, or the
Treaty of Versailles.

Danny.

Here, I marked the place.

Just remember, the common
market, pros and cons.

You got it?

How's dinner coming? Fine.

Good. Uh, could I see what
you're gonna wear tonight?

No.

But you just said cooperate.

Parent's privilege.

The average rainfall
in her country is?

. inches.

What's the leading export?

Ah, the leading export...

Keith, this is a dinner
date, not midterms.

This is not just any date.

She's a very intelligent girl.

She's well-informed
and well-read and...

Keith, will you relax?

I am relaxed.

Leading export is... Textiles.

I got to remember that.

Why don't you write the
answers on your shirt cuff?

Good... Keith, answer the door.

All right.

What's the matter?

How do you greet
royalty in your own home?

You could start by
opening the door.

Who are you? Oh, I'm Valentine.

I just wanted to assure you
folks everything's under control.

You've got nothing
to worry about.

We don't?

No, we've got the place
surrounded by men.

Well, have fun.

Thanks.

It does kind of give
you a sense of security.

It also makes me
glad we have curtains.

Hi. Hi.

Welcome to our
home, Your Highness.

Thank you.

I'm sorry I'm not
dressed, but I thought...

Oh, no, no, you're
dressed right.

We, uh... We just
got back from church.

On Friday night?

Shalom.

Come in.

Did you have a chance
to visit San Francisco?

Oh, yes. I really enjoyed it.

It's so different
from my country.

I understand your country's
main export is textiles.

Yes, it is.

Do you have to
travel a great deal?

A lot, but usually
in an official way.

What I'd really love to do is
travel by myself on my own.

Um...

What do you think of
the common market?

I don't know much
about it, really.

Thank goodness.

Mother, would you please
pass me the potatoes?

Pardon me.

Keith, Chris is using the wrong fork.
- I am not.

You're supposed to
be using the big one.

I dropped my big one.

Kids...

With this many forks, you
can afford to drop a few.

Uh, he's a great little kidder.

Could I say something, please?

I was hoping you would.

You know, it's not very
easy being a princess.

Some people don't think they can
be themselves when I'm around.

And all I really wanted to do was have
dinner with a normal American family.

But I'd like to be
honest with you

because I think
you're very nice people.

I feel like I'm at
a state dinner.

Well, Your Highness... Please.

Call me Genny.

My friends do.

And relax.

I promise not to have you
thrown into the dungeon.

In that case, I'll use my spoon.

You'll use your fork.

Well, good night.

Good night, honey.
Good night, Genny.

Good night, Mrs. Partridge.

And thank you for
a wonderful evening.

It's been our pleasure.

I can't believe it.

We're finally alone.
Just you and me.

And bodyguards.

I, uh... I don't suppose I could have
just one more minute with her highness?

Oh, sure. Take two.

Thanks.

Two minutes.

Why can't I have a normal
date like a normal girl?

Well, I guess you just have to
be born into the right social class.

You were overborn.

Keith, we could.

Could what? Have a real date.

Go to a movie or whatever
people do on real dates.

Are you kidding? We'd have to
find a theater with seats together.

It would be easy.

You'd only have
to do one little thing.

What? Kidnap me.

What's so funny?

No offense, but
you look ridiculous.

Kidnappers can't be choosers.

That's okay. I have a
thing for men in uniform.

Come on. Get in.
That's a terrific idea.

Yeah. I saw it in
an old movie once.

Wish I could
remember if it worked.

How are we doing?

Oh, just great.

Hey, bellhop!

Bring us a couple of buckets
of ice up here in , will you?

Yes, sir. I'll get
it right away.

Hey, buddy, come
here a minute, will you?

Along with that ice, bring
us a six-pack of soda.

Yes, sir.

And half a dozen ham sandwiches.

Yes, sir. On rye.

Yes, of course.

Genny?

What?

Keith, is anything wrong? Keith?

And as I request a postponement

so that I may review the case...

Keith, are you nervous?

Nervous? What
makes you say that?

Well, we've been
here minutes,

and you still haven't
turned off the motor.

Oh.

Nobody followed us.

They think I'm still
in my room, asleep.

You're right. There's
no reason to be worried.

You know, it seems that most of these
people have seen this movie before.

What?

Oh.

Yeah.

Keith.

Yeah?

So have I.

It's no use. I just
can't be myself.

I thought we were past that.

I just can't help it. I've never
taken royalty to a drive-in before.

I mean, the closest I ever came
was dating Naomi Ledbetter.

Her father was a
nd-degree Mason.

Well, why don't we
start from the beginning?

Just pretend I'm
Naomi Ledbetter.

What would you do first?

And I'd probably do this.

Right?

Right.

Then what?

Well, then I'd...

But I can't.

Try. Concentrate.

Okay, I'll concentrate.

Then I'd probably...

See, the President didn't
declare w*r or anything.

You're right.

I mean, there's
nothing to worry about.

Thanks, Partridge,
Your Highness.

That's too bad, Keith.
He caught your bad side.

I didn't know he had a good one.

Today in the San Pueblo Daily,
tomorrow the Police Gazette.

You've got a great
future in scandal.

All right, that's enough.

Keith, it isn't the
end of the world.

I'll admit, sneaking
her out of the hotel

wasn't the best
idea you've ever had.

But no one was hurt by it.

Mom's right, Keith.
Stop worrying.

I'm not worried about
myself, it's Genny.

Nothing is going
to happen to Genny.

It may seem terrible
now, but it's no big thing.

Hello?

Yes, Mr. Secretary.

No, Mr. Secretary.

Goodbye, Mr. Secretary.

It's a big thing.

I don't believe it. I had
everything planned.

Gentlemen, let's
all try to be calm.

And a drive-in movie
was not on the itinerary.

Well, I'm sure my
client meant no harm.

Cecil, I... Mr. Turnbow.

Mr. Turnbow.

This is trouble, big trouble.

Foreign policy has
to be considered.

There are trade
agreements in the balance,

and the last thing we needed

was for him to cause
an international incident.

Just a moment!

Shirley. Please.

Yes, Your Excellency.
I quite agree.

That was our ambassador.

We have decided our
official position on the matter.

Which is? It's your fault.

My fault?

You allowed him to scurry
our princess away in the night.

Now, hold on. This was not a
government-approved kidnapping.

Your security men
were guarding her.

I think it's quite obvious

that your princess lured
our rock singer into this mess.

I don't agree at all. You
promised me the utmost security...

Well, don't talk
about security to me.

That's enough!

You two act as though you've
uncovered an international conspiracy.

A boy and a girl decided
they liked each other.

They wanted to go out on a date.

They wanted to be
alone for an evening

to get to know each other.

Everyone kept telling them
to relax and enjoy themselves.

And when they finally tried it,

suddenly they
weren't kids anymore,

they were government property.

Seems to me if they were allowed
to be people instead of countries,

everything would
turn out all right.

That's it. That's
all I have to say.

Thank you, Mrs. Partridge.

If my mother were here, she would
have said exactly the same thing.

♪ Last night, you
know, I couldn't sleep

♪ Wouldn't sleep

♪ Tossin' and turnin' about

♪ Thinkin' about
the way it's been

♪ Hey, it's been
so hard to figure out

♪ We go on sneakin' around

♪ Smoky places all over town

♪ You go home and it's all over

♪ Baby, you know,
it's gettin' me down

♪ 'Cause we're one
step short of our heaven

♪ And we won't stop short
till we get there together

♪ Together, baby, we're better

♪ On our own, we're fine,
but united, we're dynamite

♪ One step short of our heaven

♪ And we won't stop short
till we get there together

♪ Together, baby, we're better

♪ We're better together

♪ Together we're better

♪ Ba-ba ba-ba-da Ba-ba-da ba-da

♪ Ba-da ba-da ♪
Ba-ba ba-ba-da ba ba

♪ You and me sneakin' around

♪ Meetin' in
shadows, hidin' away

♪ Till we're free
to stay together

♪ All of the time,
baby, all the way

♪ 'Cause we're one
step short of our heaven

♪ And we won't stop short
till we get there together

♪ Together, baby, we're better

♪ We're better together

♪ Together we're better

♪ One step short of our heaven

♪ And we won't stop short
till we get there together

♪ Together, baby, we're better

♪ We're better together

♪ Together we're better ♪

Goodbye, Mrs. Partridge.

I hope we see you again soon.

I hope so. I'll miss
you all so much.

Goodbye, Laurie. Goodbye, Genny.

Oh, I got the
last one for $..

Goodbye, Chris and Tracy.

Don't forget you promised to
send us a picture of your castle.

I won't forget.

Here's ours.

Bye, Danny. I'm sorry I couldn't
help you with what you wanted.

It's all right.

I should have known you had to
be over to be a knight, anyway.

Goodbye, Keith.

Hang on to your bellboy costume.

You never know when you might run
into a princess who wants to be kidnapped.

Bye.

♪ Stay together

♪ All of the time,
baby, all the way

♪ 'Cause we're one
step short of our heaven

♪ And we won't stop short
till we get there together

♪ Together, baby, we're better

♪ We're better together

♪ Together we're better

♪ One step short of our heaven

♪ And we won't stop short
till we get there together

♪ Together, baby, we're better

♪ We're better together

♪ Together we're better ♪