04x12 - Maid in San Pueblo

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together

♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on

♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together

♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song

♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

I'm a professional
maid, Mrs. Partridge.

If you want floors
and windows done,

you call a professional
floors and windows person.

Thank you, Mrs. Argyle.
We'll let you know.

No need. I'll call you

if I decide you're acceptable.

Good day.

I hope you find help.

Soon!

Well, I guess we can
cross Mrs. Argyle off the list.

Why not?

You've crossed off everyone
else we have interviewed.

Kids,

I think we're gonna have to
forget the idea of hiring a maid.

Mom, there's too much
work for you to do around here

and still get ready
for the concert tour.

We voted. And besides,
it'll only be for a month.

Let's not give up. I mean,
you know what they say,

"There's a maid for every house,
and a house for every maid."

That is what they say, isn't it?

We'll just keep on interviewing
till we find the right one.

Mother! Shirley dear,
I'm here on business.

I understand that you're
looking for a domestic servant.

Hi, Grandma. Hi, kids.

You're not here
to answer our ad.

That's exactly why I'm
here. You're kidding.

I've never been more
serious in my life.

Grandmother, did you and
Grandpa had another fight?

I don't wish to discuss
your grandfather.

They had a fight.

Oh, when I think of
the years that I've put

in on the care and
feeding of Walter Renfrew,

I just could...

The nerve of that man!
You know what he did?

He said that I couldn't
survive without him.

Mother, if you just...

I did! And you what he did?

He laughed in your face.

He laughed in my face.

And I said, "Walter Renfrew,
I just have a mind to go out

"and get a job and show you."

And then, you know what he did?

He dared you.

He dared me.

So here I am
ready to go to work.

But, Mom, you can't be our maid.

You're my mother!

Are you or are you not an
equal opportunity employer?

Well, sure. But...

Good! Then you have no
prejudice against mothers.

I'll start first thing
in the morning.

I never realized my
room was such a mess.

I did.

Oh, we'd better hurry.

Here she comes.

Come on, come on.

Better start waking up now.

I got to get breakfast on.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good morning, Grandma.

Shirley, I can't find the bacon.

I'll find it for you, Mom.

And, you know, I'm on duty,

so I think you ought
to call me Ms. Casey.

I'll try to remember that.

I wonder where the eggs are.

Oh, I'll get them.

It always takes a
while, you know,

to get used to someone
else's refrigerator.

How's it going? Fine.

We're helping Grandma
get used to the kitchen.

Why don't you help
her make the toast?

Oh, sure. Allow me.

Oh, so that's where it is.

- I'll get the juice.
- I'll get the cereal.

I'll get the milk.

Imagine the nerve of Walter
saying I can't handle a job.

Yeah, that's some nerve.

Sure is.

You look done in.

Ms. Casey decided
to mow the lawn.

You didn't let... No,
I didn't let her do it.

Tracy pretended to get
a splinter in her finger,

and while Ms. Casey
was administering first aid,

I mowed the lawn.

Mom, having a maid is hard work.

I know.

I had to hide upstairs
to finish the ironing.

I've stabbed myself six
times trying to finish patching

these jeans before
she sees them.

Well, now, hasn't
this day just flown?

I was gonna mow the lawn, but when I
took a second look, didn't need it at all.

Such a pleasant job.

I wish I'd thought of it sooner.

Now, we have to talk
quietly, or she'll hear us.

No, she won't. She's upstairs.

You mean she finally
found something to do?

I talked her into taking a nap.

I said it would give her more
energy to do more work later.

Mom, we've got to do something.

A while ago, she said she
might even like to stay on

even after the month is up.

Having a maid around
here is going to k*ll us.

Why don't we just get Grandma
and Grandpa back together?

As long as they're
not fighting, we're okay.

- One problem.
- What?

Grandpa may be
enjoying his bachelorhood.

Something tells me he isn't.

Hello, Dad?

Shirley.

How are you?

I'm fine.

I was just wondering if you'd
like to come over for dinner tonight.

Hmm. All right.

Now, where's your special guest?

I don't want my dinner ruined.

He'll be here in a minute,
Mom. He's very prompt.

Oh. When you're ready to
be served, just ring that bell.

I'll get it.

Good evening, one and all.

Hi, Grandpa.

Hi, kids, how are you?

Shirley. Hi, Dad.

Where is that servant with
dinner? I am just famished.

Oh, thank you, Danny.

My, the help is slow, isn't she?

Dinner is served.

Dad, maybe you're
being too hard on her.

Don't worry. I'll give her
just what she deserves.

Oh, Shirley, I do hope your girl is a
better cook than the one I just let go.

Salad looks good.

A bit wilted, but passable.

But with the way things are now
with good help... So hard to get.

You know, I guess you just
have to take what you can get.

Oh, too bad. Not
enough to go around.

But you should lose
a few pounds anyway.

I'll have you know
I'm in tip-top shape.

Oh, your waistline's lovely.

It's your head that's fat.

And the fight lasted
till : this morning,

at which point Dad
agreed to spend the night

but refused to
sleep with the help.

Sounds terrific.

It was just as well.

The help had already locked
him out of the guest room.

Well, I guess it's gonna be
another one of those days, huh?

I'm afraid so.

Good morning, everybody.

I'll have breakfast on
the table in two shakes.

Oh, thanks, Grandma,
but we're in kind of a rush.

Nonsense. You can't go
running off without your breakfast.

I'll make that one shake.

Good morning. Good morning.

Hi, Reuben. Hi, Ricky.

Good morning. What
brings you here so early?

Well, Ricky has learned
a terrific new song,

and I want you all to hear it.

Out in the garage. Hey, great.

Love to hear it, Ricky.

Later. You can do that later.

Ricky and Reuben, why don't
you have some breakfast with us?

I was hoping you'd
say that, Ms. Renfrew.

Come on, kids.

Well, how are all
the Partridges today?

Morning, Dad.

Oh, by the way, Shirley,

I brought along a few
items that need laundering.

I hope you don't mind

if your servant could
take care of it for me.

That's the last straw.

You're just trying to
make me look silly.

That's one thing you can
do completely by yourself.

Mom, Dad, that's enough.

Here's what I think
of your laundry.

I'm sick of being
your nursemaid.

My nursemaid?

The only reason that I let
you do little things for me

is that so you
could feel useful.

Dad. Please.

And on account of
your ungrateful attitude,

I will never...
And I repeat that...

Never permit you the satisfaction
of ever serving me again!

I have spoken.

Daughter, please. Hooray!

That's just fine with me!

Well.

Would you like to
hear my song now?

Maybe later, Ricky.

Mom, this is all so silly.

Yeah. Why is Grandma
being so stubborn?

Can't she admit she's wrong?

That's not what I meant.

What makes you think your
grandmother's in the wrong?

Grandpa's just stating facts.

He's a man, she's a woman,

she's dependent
upon him, simple.

Tell me I'm not hearing
what I'm hearing.

Well, look, it's a fact of life.

Any man can fend for
himself, but a woman...

Well, without a man, she's
like a ship without a sail.

A singer without a song.

A bicycle without
training wheels.

Well, since you he-men
are so independent,

why don't you join
your grandfather

and see how well you
fend for yourselves?

I agree.

Me too.

Why are they so
touchy all of a sudden?

Danny, women always
react that way to cold logic.

Let's go see what
your grandpa's doing.

What about my song?

Don't take it too personal, kid.

They do this to me all the time.

Grandpa, what happened?

Something must have
happened to the machine.

How much soap did you use?

Oh, three or four cups.

That sounds okay to me.

Me too.

It's only two or
three cups too much.

Laurie!

What's the matter, Grandma?

I can't get the door open.
The lock seems to be stuck.

Ooh. Well, just a minute.

Mom. Mom, the lock on the
bathroom door is jammed again.

Keith promised to
fix that yesterday.

Well, that was yesterday.

What are we gonna do?

Well, I think there's
a screwdriver in here.

Don't worry, Mom. We'll
have you out in a minute.

Got it.

Good, except for one thing.

What's that? What are
we gonna do with it?

Oh, hi, Grandpa, Keith.

Oh, hi. Hi, girls.

Something wrong? Wrong?

What could be wrong?

Finding it difficult
without a man to lean on?

Not on your life.

See you around.

See you around.

It's okay, Mom, we'll
have you out in a second.

Hold it straight. I don't
want to scratch the door.

Okay.

There. That does it.

Ah, thank you, dear.

Oh, I think we ruined
the lock, though.

That's all right. I'll have a
new one put in tomorrow.

Oh, just tell everybody
not to lock the door.

Ladies, if you don't mind, I'd like
to take a shower before dinner.

If you please.

Now maybe Keith will fix
the lock like he said he would.

Mom, this duck in orange
sauce is just delicious.

And the cranberry
parfait looks great.

Thank you. I
thought you'd like it.

Hi, what's for dinner?

We're having duck.
What are you having?

Oh, yeah. Well...

I'll have you know that we are
having the specialty of the house,

Renfrew stew.

We are?

We are.

Come on, g*ng.

What's Renfrew stew?

It's the only dish Walter makes.

I use it to k*ll
snails in my garden.

Ah, this is it.

How about you fellas, huh?

No, thanks, Grandpa.

None for me.

Thanks anyway.

You hardly ate any
at all. Don't you like it?

Oh, sure, it's terrific.

Yeah, we... We took seconds
while you were busy at the stove.

I guess we took too much.

Way too much.

This is the end
of a perfect day.

Uh, I don't know if you
noticed it or not, Grandpa,

but today wasn't quite perfect.

Yeah, if we don't
do something drastic,

we're gonna starve to death.

Well, I'm all for doing
something drastic.

Ever since the
beginning of history,

the one thing for which women have
always been dependent on men is protection.

So?

So, who do you think
they'd run to for help

if we arranged to have a burglar
break into the house tonight?

Oh, terrific idea.

What do we do, look in the Yellow
Pages under "Rent a burglar"?

Yeah, I agree.

The Packers aren't
what they used to be.

Oh, boy. That was close.

Now, think, we must know
somebody who'd make a good burglar.

Hi, everybody.

How are the boys doing?

Starving. Walter's is the
only stomach in the world

that can handle Renfrew stew.

I wonder if they're
ready to surrender.

I think they're up to something.

What makes you think so?

Well, when I walked in the
kitchen, they stopped talking

and tried to appear casual.

Believe me, after years with that
man, I know when he's up to something.

I wonder what it could be.

Well, we can find
out easily enough,

if Danny's really hungry.

Is this what you're looking for?

I, uh, was taking a
walk, a sleepwalk.

Wouldn't you like a nice,
big piece? It's your favorite.

All we want is a
little information.

What are you doing
prowling around here?

I couldn't sleep,
so I took a walk.

What's that on your chin?

Nothing.

Grandpa and Reuben
should be all set to go.

That must be them now.

They didn't have to
make that much noise.

You heard it, too?

It must be a burglar. The three
of you go back into your bedroom.

Danny and I will handle this.

You?

You don't think I'm gonna let a woman
go down there and face a burglar, do you?

This is a man's job.

That's why women are
cowards and men are brave.

Actually, I've already
taken care of it.

What do you mean, you've
already taken care of it?

I called the police.

You called the police?
What did you do that for?

Isn't that what you're
supposed to do?

No!

Well, yeah, but, well, you didn't have
to bother them for one stupid burglar.

Maybe that's our burglar now.

You know these
two, Mrs. Partridge?

No, I don't believe I do.

But then, I don't
know many burglars.

Shirley, I just want to go home.

I was forced into this.

They say that they
know you, ma'am.

Oh, wait. Now that you mention
it, I do recognize that one.

You see?

I saw his picture on
the post-office wall.

I guess I better book them.

Shirley, will you do something?

I guess the joke's
gone far enough.

Thanks, Phil.

I, uh, think they've given up
their life of crime from now on.

Anytime, Shirley. Good night.

Well, what about these?

Oh.

Sorry.

Good night. Good night, Phil.

That was a rotten trick.

What about that little
game you were playing?

Look, if you don't like
the man you've got,

why don't you go out
and get another one?

I just may do that.

Well, that would suit me fine.

Hold it, hold it.

Everybody, back to bed.

Good night. Good night.

Can I go home now?

Yes, Reuben.

From now on, I'm gonna
stay out of sex wars.

As for you two...

Now, look, Shirley, she's
the one that started this.

I am? You're the
one... Just a moment!

Sit down!

First of all, it doesn't make
any difference whose fault it is,

and second, you two are gonna
settle this whole thing tonight.

I want it ended and
everything back to normal

in the morning, understand?

Good night.

Can she talk to us like that?

She just did.

What do you think happened, Mom?

I don't know. When I went
to bed, they were still talking.

I hope they got
everything settled.

Yeah, hurry up.

Does that tell you anything?

Looks like the w*r is over.

Yeah, but now we
don't have a maid.

Good. I need the rest.

♪ When I saw you

♪ I knew that I
was gonna love you

♪ And every day I thought
of how I'm gonna love you

♪ Now you're here
next to me ♪ Ooooh

♪ And ecstasy is
a reality ♪ Ooooh

♪ I feel good When you are near

♪ I'm alive 'Cause you are here

♪ Working on a
groovy thing, Baby

♪ Working on a
groovy thing ♪ Working

♪ Working on a
groovy thing, Baby

♪ Let's not rush it
♪ We'll take it slow

♪ Before I met you

♪ I know my lips
were only wasted

♪ Oh, my lips were wasted

♪ 'Cause you have got the
sweetest kiss I've ever tasted ♪ Ahhh

♪ Sweetest kiss I ever

♪ Music moves us along ♪ Ahhh

♪ Your arms around me
are snug and warm ♪ Ahhh

♪ Happiness is in my soul

♪ I'm about to lose control

♪ Working on a
groovy thing, Baby

♪ Working on a
groovy thing ♪ Working

♪ Working on a
groovy thing, Baby

♪ Let's not rush in
♪ We'll take it slow ♪

The reason I've asked you all
here is because for the past two days

I've being trying to get
you to listen to something.

Now that things are quieted
down a little I'll like you to listen.

Ricky, take it away.

♪ We don't know when she started

♪ Perhaps in kindergarten

♪ What did she learn in school

♪ Laughing all day

♪ And charming most everyone

♪ And that's why, Grandma

♪ We love you
just the way you are

♪ Please listen, Grandma

♪ You'll always
be our favorite star

♪ You're sweet

♪ So neat ♪ We
love you for your beauty

♪ And you're such a little cutie

♪ Who helps us
when we're feeling low

♪ And takes us
to the movie shows

♪ You must know this is true

♪ Oh, Saturday morning just
wouldn't be right without you

♪ And that's why, Grandma

♪ We love you
just the way you are

♪ Please listen, Grandma

♪ You'll always
be our favorite star

♪ You are Grandma ♪

Ricky, why didn't you
sing that for us yesterday?

I think it would have saved
us an awful lot of trouble.

Maybe you're right.