25x06 - Oil's Well That Ends Well

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Hello ♪
♪ Hello ♪

♪ Hello ♪

ALL:
Hello.

[♪♪♪]

Well,
we lost our jobs again.

Yeah, gosh,
I'm worried about poor Papa.

Gee, I wish we had a letter
from him today.

Hey, Larry,
you go check the mailbox.

Oh, I forgot.

Poor Pa.
All alone in the hospital.

Way over in Colfax.

And that's pretty far.

You said it.

Hey. There's a package for you
and a letter from Pa.

A letter!
I got my wish.

Oh, you.
It's just a coincidence.

"My dear sons,
my doctor informs me

"that my life depends
on an operation.

"Since I am broke I have no idea
how I can manage this.

"There is one hope.

"That mining property I have
up in Red Dog Canyon.

"Follow the enclosed map. I am
sure you will strike uranium,

"which will not only pay for my
operation, but make us all rich.

Signed, Your Loving Father."

Hey, we gotta find
that uranium.

Yeah.
Wait a minute.

We need money. We need tools,
dynamite, a grubstake.

We need at least
a hundred dollars.

Oh, boy,
I wish I had a hundred dollars.

Oh,
you and your wishing.

Oh, you.

Hey, look.

A hundred dollars.
I got my wish.

Boy, you're uncanny.

Ah, that was
just an accident.

Pa probably forgot
he left the money there.

Oh, you're just jealous
of my wishing ability.

Yeah, well,
make another wish.

I wish I had a nice,
big cigar.

Hey, what do you know?

"From your pal, Felix."

Well, wise guy,
I got my wish again.

Yeah.
Hey, you.

Come on.
That belongs to me.

You...
He steals from everybody.

Yeah, he steals.
He's a-- He's a--

Dry up.
Make another wish.

JOE:
You meanie.

I wish that cigar
would blow right up in his face.

[expl*si*n]

I got my wish again.

Hey, I'm scared.

So am I.

MOE:
Well, here we are. Papa's cabin.

LARRY:
Come on, the door's open.

Good old Papa's cabin.

That old stove
reminds me I'm hungry.

I think I'll cook us
some nice oatmeal.

Yummy, yummy,
oatmeal!

Uh-uh.
I forgot to buy the milk.

Oh, you crazy, you.

You know I can't eat oatmeal
without milk.

Gee,
I wish I had some milk.

[COW MOOING]

Hey,
there's a cow out there.

What comes from cows?

Steak.
Come on.

Milk!
I got my wish again.

You know, I'm beginning to think
you're haunted.

You do?
Yeah, go get the cow.

Wait a minute.
What good's a cow?

You know milk
comes in bottles.

It does?
Sure.

All sizes.

There's a bottle.
Go get the cow.

Okay. A rope.

Gee, I always wanted to be
a cowboy.

Oh, boy.

Why, you.

That stooge...

Shut up. You guys are more
trouble than you're worth.

Wait a minute. What good's that
milk bottle gonna do him?

How's he gonna get a cow to sit
on a little thing like that?

How do you think?

Oh. The same way they get them
to sit on their little cans.

Yeah.
[BOTH LAUGH]

Let me see that hat.
That's a good one.

Yes, sir.
That's a good one.

I'll gouge your eyes out.

You don't know how to do that.
Look.

Put it up there.
Yeah.

That's the way. Now, come on,
let's get squared away.

Toss me those groceries.

Oh!

Hey. Here's the cow.

How we gonna get the milk
in the bottle?

I'll show you how to get
the milk in the bottle.

You put it down there.
Give!

What do you mean,
"give"?

Well, all she has to do
is turn on the faucets.

Oh.

Oh, am I stupid.
I know what to do.

I think.

You have to pump it.

Just like you pump water. See?
With the hand.

Give, cow. Give.

How now, brown cow?

How now, brown cow.
You bubblebrain.

Get out. I'll show you
how to get the milk.

All you do is grab the faucet
like that, and you squeeze.

See?

Hey, something's wrong.

It's stopped up. Say, Joe,
do you see anything in there?

No, nothing. Try again.

Hey, try another faucet.
Maybe it gives chocolate flavor.

Okay.

Tastes the same.

JOE:
Hey, we're getting pretty close
to the spot, fellas.

LARRY:
You're right.

How about it, Moe?

Hey, wait a minute,
fellas.

According to Papa's map,

the uranium
should be there.

Poor Papa, let's get busy
and find that pay dirt.

Yeah.
All right, get going.

Right, general.
Right.

Right-o.
Hey, you!

What?
Oh!

Where'd he go?
Right here!

Oh!
Come on, get in here, get going.

Check it.

This one is broken.
That's no good.

[expl*si*n]

Hey,
watch yourself.

[CLICKING]

What does
the Geiger counter say?

Click-click, click-click,
click--

Come on, give me that.

[CLICKING]

Eureka!

Hey, we're looking for uranium,
not eureka.

Get out of here.

It's full of uranium.
Ooh.

You get a sample.
Joe!

Fix up the dynamite,
we're gonna blast.

And be careful.
Oh!

I'm sorry, Moe.
I'm sorry.

It's all right, kid.
It was only the head.

Oh, you're a nice fella.

Oh! Moe!

[GROANS]

How do you like that?

Oh, look.

Oh!
How do you like that?

Dynamite's ready. Catch.

What did you say?
Oh!

You imbecile.
If this ever hit the rocks

we'd all have been blown
to pieces.

Huh?

What did you say?
I didn't hear you.

I said
you're a nitwit imbecile.

Flattery will get you
no place.

Why--
Hey, hey.

Not on the rock.

Go on over there
and sit down.

Get outta here.

[GROANING]

[MOUTHING]
I hate him.

Always picking on me.
Big man, big man.

"Go sit down, go sit down."

All right, I will.

Hey, Moe,
I was just thinking--

Every time you think
you weaken the nation.

Now shut up and sit down
like I told you.

All right. Just like you
told me, just like you told me.

All right, I will.

Hey, Moe, you know,
if you would do it this--

Oh, be quiet.
But, Moe, if we--

I don't wanna hear from you,
and furthermore--

But I wanna
tell you something!

I'm busy. Scram!
Ooh!

Why--

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Oh! Ooh, ooh.

Oh, he broke his hand,
he broke his finger,

he broke his finger.
Ooh, ooh!

[GROANING]

Come on, get busy.
That guy gets in my hair.

And my eyes.

Okay, you wanna do
all the work,

you go ahead
and do all the work.

I'll just sit here and stall,
that's--

[expl*si*n]

Oh, fellas...

Gee, fellas.
I-- I'm sorry.

I wish the rocks
would've hit me instead.

Ooh, I got my wish.

Wow, what a day.

Let's get some shuteye.
All right, fellas, hit the sack.

Yeah, tomorrow we'll try
for the uranium again.

Right.
Okay.

I'm sleeping in the lower.

Ow.

Who's sleeping
in the lower?

You are.
Good.

Who is sleeping
in the lower?

Well, who is?
You are.

Go away.

On second thought,
we better take the upper.

That was better
than the first thought.

[GROANS]

[YELLING]

Ooh!

You clumsy ox.

Don't you
call me clumsy.

Oh, go on up there.

I can't.
I need help!

All right,
I'll help you.

Wait a minute.

Boost me up first
and I'll lift him up.

That's very good.

Come on, let's go.
Here we go.

Hey.

All right, Joe,
give me your hand.

That's it.
[MOE MUMBLING]

Higher, Moe. Push.

Get up.
Ow!

[BOTH YELLING]

Why, you imbeciles,
you!

[MUTTERING]

Get up off of me, you!

What are you trying to do,
k*ll me?

Oh!

Cut that out,
you crazy, you.

Oh, shut up.
Larry, put your foot in here,

I'll get you up there.
Get over where you belong!

All right.

All right.

Hey,
where'd he go?

Hey, look.

Come on.
You double-crosser.

What's the big idea?

Come on,
get up there.

Wait a minute. I'll get you
up there first, Joe.

Me?
Get over there, give him a hand.

All right, get your foot
up there. Ready, go.

[GROANING]

What's the matter with you?
Can't you do anything?

I tried.

Hey. How did you get
inside of my pants?

That's a surprise
to me.

Go on, get-- Ooh.

You're following me.

I'll follow you--
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

You gotta get
his leg out.

Here, I'll help you.
Yeah.

What's the matter
with you guys?

Tug a little bit.
I'm tugging!

Go ahead.
I'm tugging.

Oh!
See, I tugged too hard.

You know, I think--
Wait a minute, fellas.

Don't go away.
Yeah, don't go away, he says.

Go away.
Stop pushing.

Hey, hey, hey.
I got the idea.

Just thought of it,
just thought of it.

There you are.
Hey.

Why, you imbecile.
You wrecked my pajamas.

Ooh.
Come on.

The both of you go on up there.
Come here, you.

Wait, wait, whoa!
Up with you.

Goodnight, Mother.

Wind up the cat
and put out the clock.

All right,
you're next, boy.

[GRUNTING]

Wait a minute.

I'll tell you what.

You bend down,
I'll stand on your back,

and when you raise up you'll
have me right up on the bunk.

How's that?
Oh, you're using your brain.

Okay, baby.

[LAUGHING]

[GROANING]

Get off of me!

What are you trying to do,
k*ll me?

Oh, Moe,
you're such a weakling.

You can't lift
a little me.

It would take a derrick to lift
a ton of blubber like you.

Oh, you're just
saying that.

You sleep down here,
I'll get up there.

Give me a hand.
Okay, okay, okay.

Go!

What a night. Soon as we finish
the breakfast dishes

we're going to town
and calling Pa.

I don't know how he
stood this place.

Yeah, you can't even get
a decent drink.

Even the water
tastes like kerosene.

[WHEEZING]

What's the matter
with this thing now?

Sounds like
it's got asthma.

Try it again, Moe.

[WHEEZING]
Ooh!

No, it's stuck.

We'll have to take the pump off
and clean it out.

[GRUNTS]

Give me that pipe,
Larry.

Here.

That's it, Moe.
Whoa.

[CLATTERING, WATER SPLASHING]

[RUMBLING]

Sounds like a bear.
I better get a trap.

Wait a minute.
How can a bear be down there?

It's barely possible.
Yeah--

You egghead.

Can't see a thing down there,
it's so dark.

Give me a match.

Right.

Not a thing.

Ah!

Well, guess it's all
cleaned out, boys.

Yoppie!

All right. Pump it.

I gotta do all the work.

I wish I was rich.

Quit wishing
for the impossible and pump it.

My goodness.

[RUMBLING]

An inkwell.

Inkwell. It's Earl.

Earl?

Yeah, coal Earl.

You mean oil. It's oil.

Oil! It's a geezer.
An oil geezer. We're rich!

Hey. It's out of control.

We gotta cork it.

We haven't got
any corks.

Well,
we're losing money.

You sit on it. Come on.
Okay, okay.

Nice work, kid.

I'm a successful cork.

Success.
Success.

Oh! Oh!

Help!

I'm an unsuccessful cork.

Get me down!

[YELLING]

Moe, get that rope.

JOE: Help!
Don't go away.

I won't.

I'll have you down, Joe.

[YELLS]

Come on, get up.

Ha, ha!
We're rich, we're rich.

Yeah, we're losing money.
I wish it would stop already.

See?
Yeah, I see.

You wished us
out of an oil well.

Oh, gee. Oh, gosh.

Oh, doggone it.

Well,
we're broke again.

Shake hands with a pauper.

JOE:
Wish that oil hadn't stopped.

Oh!

Yippie! Hooray!

Yippie! Hooray!

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

Well, oil's well that ends well.

[♪♪♪]