20x09 - Goof on the Roof

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[SNORING AND WHIMPERING]

[RINGING]

[STILL SNORING]

[RINGING CONTINUES]

Hello?

Hello?

Will you wake up,
you snoring hyenas.

I can't hear a thing.

[GRUNTS]

Stop snoring.

Hello?

No wonder I can't hear a thing,

there's nobody on the line.

[RINGING]

It's the doorbell.

Oh.

Get out of my way.

Okay.

Well, I guess I'll have
my morning smoke.

Where'd he go?

Where's Moe?
Where'd Moe go?

[YAWNS]

[FLICKING SOUND]
Ow, ow, ow!

Ah, what are you
squawking about?

[SHOUTS]

Hey, it's a telegram from Bill.

This explains why he didn't
come home last night.

"Got married last night,
flying home today.

"Sorry, must ask you to move.

"Ordered TV set delivered today.

"Pay men for installing antenna,

"repay you later.
Regards, Bill."

Say, why can't we put up the
television antenna ourselves?

And we save him the money
for the wedding present.

Wonderful.
Let's clean up the joint.

Now, rise and shine.

Right-o.
Okay.

Time to rise and shine.

Oh, that's nice of him
to send a telegram.

Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

[SHOUTS]

Why don't you
watch where you're going?

Relax. As soon as I eat
this jelly sandwich,

I'll help you guys.

I can't work
on an empty stomach.

Well, I'm hungry and I haven't...

Aw, shut up and finish your job.

[MOE SHOUTING]

[LOUD CRASHING]

[GURGLING]

[COUGHS]

[SHOUTS]

Wait a minute.

[SHOUTS]

Hey, it's stuck.

Help me get it loose.

The water must have
swelled his head.

Oh, he always had
a swelled head.

[TAPPING]

[GRUNTING]

Stop doing it for me,

you're doing it to me!

Oh, my neck.

You nitwit.

Wh...

Say, did you say
you were hungry?

Oh, I'm starved.

How'd you like to have
my sandwich?

Oh, I'd love it.

You got it.
Oh!

[CHUCKLING]

Why?

Get another bucket full of water
and finish up the mopping

or you'll find out why and how.

Yes?

[LAUGHS]

Why, you.
Whoa!

[SHOUTING]

[GROANING]

What's the matter with you?

What are you playing around for?

Oh, but it's that door.

Never mind the door,

I'll fix it.
Go get some water.

What a nitwit.

I never saw a guy like that.

[SHOUTS]

[SIGHS]

[GROANING]

I didn't know
you were standing there, Moe.

I wouldn't have
slammed the door.

Oh, you slammed it.

Yeah.
[CHUCKLES]

That's all right, kid.

Hey, is that a spot?

Where?

There.
Oh.

Now, go on, get busy.

I don't want any more trouble
with you either.

Okay, okay.

Well, get to work,

I gotta make myself
another sandwich.

Ah, I hope you choke.

[SHEMP SHOUTING]

[LOUD CRASHING]

[GURGLING]

[SPITTING]

How do you like that?
No more jelly.

Guess I'll have to eat cheese.

Gotta get some bread.

You cockeyed soap.

You troublemaker.

[HUMMING]

I'll get some more water
and be right back.

[BANGING]
Oh...

Darn that door again.

And this too!

A valuable antique.

You muttonhead.

[LOUD CRASHING]

[SHOUTING]

Larry!

Hold it, kid,
I'll get it in a minute.

Now, hold it still.

There we go.

There. There.
There.

[SHOUTING]
There.

[HUMMING]

Mm-hm. Heavenly.

Yummy, yummy.

Stop squawking and get busy

or I'll dust
your brains out again.

[SHOUTING]

[CRYING]

Oh, that cockeyed door again.

I'll fix it.

Yes, sir.

Come on over here.

[PHONE RINGS]

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Hello?

Yeah, we're waiting
for the television set.

You're bringing it right over?

Thanks.

[CRACKING]
[SHOUTS]

Hey, Moe. Shemp.

Always stalling.

Two guys are never around
when you want them.

[LOUD CRASHING]

SHEMP:
Ow!

[GURGLING]

All right.

Take it easy now.

[GRUNTS]

Look at this boy.

All right,
we'll give you a hand.

There you are.

Ouch.

Ouch, my finger.

I nearly ruined the ring
my girl won for me

in a crackerjack box.

I'll take it off for safety.

[GRUNTS]

It's tight.

[POPS]

Oh.

How do you like that?

But that won't stop me.

[GRUNTS]

Hey, we're short
a couple of screws.

Go in the kitchen and get some.

Okay.

[CRACKING]

Oh, oh, I twisted my ankle.

Hey, this is the control knob
off the television set.

You stepped on it and bent it.

Now, get a hammer and fix it.

This thing is still loose.

Ah, I got you.

I lost the knob.

I need a longer arm
or a shorter wall.

Shorter wall.

[BANGING IN BACKGROUND]

Come on, kid.

No, nothing's
gonna help you. Come on.

I'll get you.

Why...?

My beautiful crackerjack ring
is in here.

Right in he... I got it.

No, you haven't,
but you're gonna get it.

Wait a minute, Moe.

That thing cost bucks.

So it does.

Here's something for free.

[SHOUTING]

[SPUTTERING]

[SHOUTS]

What's the matter with you?

[GRUNTS]

You trying to burn
the joint down?

Listen, I'm telling you...

Moe, I dropped a knob in
the wall, I had to get it out.

That's no excuse.

That's how guys start fires,

playing with matches in houses.

Now, I'm telling you,
one of these days...

Hey, I smell smoke.
Are you chewing tobacco?

No, I...

[SNIFFS]

You idiot.

You did set the joint on fire.

Go on, get some water.

Hurry up.

Hurry up!

Hey, Moe, what's cooking?

Your goose if you don't shut up
and do something.

All right, I'll... Oh!

Oh, the joint's on fire.

Oh, if we only had
some marshmallows.

Go out and get
some marshmallows.

What's marshmallows?

Come on, get this thing out.

All right, let me fan it.
Marshmallows.

I'll fan it out.

Get out of my way
when I'm fighting fire,

and quit blocking the water.

Now I'll have to get some more.

[SPUTTERS]

It's getting worse.

Hey, there's a fire extinguisher
in the kitchen.

Go get it. Hurry up.
All right.

Wait'll I find my way.

[LARRY GROANS]

[WATER SPLASHING]

[GURGLING]

Wait a minute.
Is that me?

No, it's me.

Well, go on and get
that garden hose.

Okay.
Go on.

Give me that thing.

Look out.

Well. Okay.

[GROANS]

[SHOUTS]

[SPITTING]

It's dry.
Keep pumping.

Give me that hose.
No.

Give me that hose!
No.

Let go, will you?

LARRY:
Will you let go of it?
I know how to work it.

Hey!

The fire's in there.

Okay.

[FLAMES BEING EXTINGUISHED]

That did it, Larry.
That did it.

Oh, no, it didn't.

But this did.

Oh, oh, oh!

Wait a minute.

Go shut the water off

and hook this antenna
up on the roof.

Hurry up.
Now, come on.

Get out of here.

And you get that control knob
out of the wall

while I put the television set
back together again.

All right.

[GROANS]

Yeah.

[GRUNTS]

[SHOUTS]

Just for that,
you don't go in there.

[BARKS]

Now we'll get it.

Hm, champagne glass.

Well.

Oh, there it is.

[CHUCKLES]

There. Good as new.

Hey, Moe.
Moe, I got it.

I found the knob.
Good work, kid, but...

[SHOUTS]

A Swiss cheese.

Look what you did to the wall.

How are you gonna
explain that to Bill?

Woodpeckers.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

That's a good one, ain't it?

Yeah.
Here's a better one.

Yeah?

What happens now?

This:
Oof!

Now, go on,
get those boards up there.

I gotta get that plug back,

so we can plug
the television set in.

Hm.

[HUMMING]

I'll have this television set
together in no time.

[POPPING AND CRACKLING]

Nyah.

[SHOUTING]

Oh... Larry...?

Wait a minute, Moe,
I'll put it out.

[WHIMPERING]

Wait a minute, Moe,
I got an idea.

Don't go away.

[MOE WHIMPERING]

[BIRDS SINGING]

Come on, Shemp.
Hurry up!

[GRUNTS]

Well, this cockeyed thing
won't work here.

I better nail it to the roof.

By golly.

Don't move around there.

[CRASHING]

[GRUNTS]

You imbecile,

leave that alone
and come down here!

I'm coming.

Whoa...

How do you like that guy, huh?

[LOUD CRASHING]

I fall down.

[SIGHS]

Well, Rosebud, here we are,

our little love nest.

Yes.
In we go.

But, Bill, darling,

a bride never crosses
her threshold by herself.

You're right, little dumpling.

[SPITS]

[SIGHS]

Oh.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, I'm so happy.

This is so wonderful.

[GASPING]

Why, I wouldn't
live in this rat's nest.

[GRUNTS]

But, baby...

Ah, let her go, Bill.

Sure, Bill.

Then the four of us can
live in peace and harmony.

Why, you home wreckers.

I'm...

I'm gonna... Why, you...

Wait a minute.

Whoa!
Whoa!

Don't sh**t.
Don't sh**t, Bill.

Bill, don't sh**t.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I got you.

[g*nshots]

[IN UNISON]
Oh, oh, oh.

Ow, ow, ow.

[ALL MOANING]

[♪♪♪]