23x05 - Rumpus in the Harem

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[SNORING, WHISTLING]

[SOBBING]

Moe!

Shemp!
Larry!

ALL:
Wake up! We've got to see you.

Okay, girls, we'll be
with you in a jiffy.

Larry, get up.

Shemp, wake up.
Our sweethearts are here.

Listen, Larry. We--

[SNORING]

Oh, yeah.

Man the lifeboats.
Me and the women first.

[SNORING]

Come on.
Get up, get up.

Hey, breakfast.
Where?

Come on,
our girls are here.

Rise and shine.

Boy, it's only :
in the morning.

I wonder what they're doing
here so early.

Maybe it's because
we're so irresistible.

Oh, yeah. That could be.
Oh!

Why you...

Hurry up!
Let us in!

All right, I'm coming.

Oh, we have to talk to you.
We're in trouble.

[ALL CRYING]

Take it easy, girls.
I'll call Shemp.

Shemp, get up.

Sheba, Reba and Heba
are here.

Come on.

What's this?

"You guys snore so loud
I couldn't sleep,

"so I've gone down to open the
restaurant. Will see you later.

"P.S. If you don't
get this note let me know

"and I'll write you another.
Signed, Shemp."

How do you like that dummy?

Our guardian
is going to sell us

to the Sultan of Pishpash. Oh!

Unless we each pay him
shilbleenas of virgin tax.

Within three days.

ALL:
And we don't have the money.

[ALL SOBBING]

Oh, gosh. Gee, girls,
we don't have the money either.

After all, we're only poor
owners of a small restaurant.

ALL:
Oh, woe is us!

Girls, girls, girls.
Please.

Please, don't worry.
We have three days.

We'll get the money.
We hope.

Yeah. If worse comes to worse
we can rob a bank.

He's being working around
thieves so much

he's beginning
to think like one.

Now, girls. Don't worry,
we'll find a way out. Cheer up.

But what if you don't?

[ALL SOBBING]

Girls, girls.
Have faith. In him.

Sure, smile.
Ring out those handkerchiefs

and blow your nose.

Boy, you're really weepy.

Service! Come on.
I need service.

[WAITERS CLAMORING]

Yes, sir.
We have all the service.

At your service.

Phew! Boy, if I hadn't ducked
we would've collided sure.

What a narrow escape.

[GASPS]

SHEMP:
What--

MOE:
What's the matter
with you?

We'll have you all fixed up
in a minute.

What's this? Oh, happy birthday.

[CHUCKLES]

I would leave it on.

People don't know if you're
coming or going with this on.

There you are, sir.

You look very pretty and the
spaghetti is as good as new.

Why you...

Moe!

Dog of dogs, how dare you?

A thousand pardons.
It was unavoidable.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

This will degrade you.

'Tis true,
I'm an aristocrat.

I'm Hassan Ben Sober.

I had a few too many
my self.

[LAUGHS]

Quiet. We gotta clean up
this mess.

Why you...

Get busy.

[MUMBLING]

Stop it,
will you?

Cut it out.

MAN:
Travel by night. Perhaps it--

Greetings. Greetings

Did you bring the map,
Hoffa Dolla.

Aye, chief.

But as I slit his throat...

[GROANS]

...with his dying breath
he said someone else

had a duplicate map.

'Tis bad.
We must leave at once

if we are to be the first to
reach King Rootin Tootin's tomb.

Make preparations
to depart immediately.

Aye, chief.
But remember the curse.

"He who touches
the jewel first,

is doomed
to a thousand deaths."

We must secure
the services of three.

Then when we get them
to do our bidding...

Yes, but we best
have food before we travel.

Boys,
we just gotta find a way

to get the money
for our sweethearts.

I got it!

I got it. I got it.

He's got it.
Tell us, kid.

What do you got?
A terrific headache.

Oh, I'll cure that.

MAN:
Service! Waiters!

Service! Waiters!

Here we are, at your service.
Oh!

What'll you have?

We want a--
We don't have anymore.

All we got left is rabbit
and hot dogs.

Rabbit.
Hot dog.

Hot dog!
I'll take rabbit.

Okay, coming up.

Coming right up. Coming
right now.

Here we are,
pepper and salt.

[MEOWING]

Scat!

Come here.

Come here, you.

[MEOWING]
LARRY: Well, I'll fix you.

[MUMBLING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Here.

[MEOWING]

[CAT MEOWING]

[THUD]
[MEOWING]

[THUD]
[MEOWING]

[MEOWING]

[CAT SCREECHING]

[THUDDING]

Catsup. Cat!

[SCREAMS]

[WHIMPERING]

Get out of here.

Come here you...

Oh, you think
you could get away.

Now I got you.
Come on.

Now I-- Gosh.
Mmm.

It couldn't be.

Or could it?

Now, you stay here,
you be a good boy.

You're gonna sit there.

[BARKING]

[BARKS]

[DOG CRIES]

[THUDDING]

Here you are, gentlemen.

Hot dogs. When it comes
to cooking I'm the cat's meow.

Sit down.

Oh, but I'm not tired.

I'll just stand
while you eat.

Sit down with your heads
on or off.

Y-You talked us into it.

Eat!
Eat!

[BARKS]

Did you hear anything?

Yeah, I did.

[MEOWING]

Sit down and eat.
Eat.

BOTH:
Eat.

[DOG WHIMPERING]

[CAT PURRING]

[MEOWING]

[CAT SCREECHES]

[SNEEZES]

Gesundheit.

[BARKS, GROWLS]

[SOBBING]

Eat!

Well.

[SCREAMS]

I k*lled it,
I k*lled it.

Oh, I k*lled it.

[SOBBING]

Shh.
This just can be.

[CAT SCREECHES]

[SCREAMS]

[HUMMING]

Forgot the mustard.

So you are
the perpetrator of this.

Sit down and eat.

Sit down.
A pleasure.

Thank you.

[MUMBLES]

[GROWLS, MEOWS]

[SCREAMS]

[CRASH]

[ALL CLAMORING]

[DOG BARKS]

[MEOWING]

[SIGHS]

There's the dog and cat. Why
didn't you tell me?

What?
Shut up.

Let him alone.
You too.

Oh, cut it out. Oh!

[BOTH GRUNT]

These three.

They are the ones
to get the jewel for us.

Right.

Gentlemen.

Who came in?
No, you.

How would you boys like to make
a thousand shilbleenas?

You've convinced us.
What do we have to do?

There is a diamond
worth a king's ransom.

You hear,
a king's ransom.

Gentlemen. This map will lead us
to the treasure.

Now, please.
Pay attention--

[SOBBING]

Ruin, defeated.

That murderist cutthroat.

He has the famous
-karat diamond.

A hundred karats?
He sure knew his onions.

[CHUCKLES]
Quiet.

This map is useless
to me now.

With that diamond
I could've quit my job

as the doorman
at the Oasis Hotel.

[SOBBING]

Hey, spinach chin.

Do you mean to tell me
you're only a doorman?

Yes.
Well, there's the door, man.

Will you give me
five for this?

No,
but I'll give you two.

I'll take it.
Shut up.

[CRASH]

Moe. The Emir of Shmow stole
that Rootin Tootin diamond.

Yeah, and we're gonna
get it back from him.

Return it
to its rightful owner.

Get a big reward and then pay
the taxes for our sweethearts.

Yeah, but the Emir of Shmow
is a cutthroat.

Suppose he cuts my throat?

So, you'll look like
you have two mouths.

I'll look like I--
Now pay attention. Come here.

Now, here's the plan.

[MAN LAUGHING]

There he is.
And he's wearing the diamond.

[LAUGHING]

Now is our chance
to get it.

Yeah.

[GROWLING]

See Fi Fo Fum.

I'm the evil spirit that guards
the Rootin Tootin diamond.

Give it to me,
lest evil befall you.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Oh, hide, quick.
Somebody's coming.

Moe, scram.

[GRUNTS]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa. Here hold it.

I'll k*ll you.

[GUARD SCREAMS]

[WOMEN SCREAMING]

You big, big men. Frightening us
defenseless women.

How dare you inv*de
the privacy of us frail women?

And you caught me
with my veil down.

[SCREAMS]

Take this, you coward, you rude,
you--

You should be ashamed
of yourselves.

Scaring us helpless girls.

You. You wolf you.

I'll teach you,
leave us little lambs alone.

[SCREAMS]
Get out of here.

[SCREAMS]
Hey, Larry, scram.

SHEMP:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Moe! Larry!

[CLAMORING]

SHEMP:
Moe, help!

[SHEMP YELLING]

Moe, help!

Halt!

Hello.

Hello.

[BIRD CHIRPING]

Hey, listen. We gotta
get out of here.

Return the diamond and pay
our girls' taxes. Come on.

Go on,
you heard the guy.

[YELLING]

GUARD:
I k*ll you!

Oh.

[♪♪♪]